给 厄尔 Here you go, Earl.
十二桌的客人就点了个肉饼还要刷卡 Table 12 throwing down a credit card on a patty melt.
他们是有多需要这八英里呀 They really need those eight airline miles? 有的信用卡可拿积分免费兑换飞行里程数
新泽西与纽约只有一河之隔 难不成是想飞去新泽西吗 Where they going... New Jersey?
信用卡是美国没落的原因 Credit cards are the downfall of America.
金·卡戴珊 美国名媛 因性爱录影带外流而爆红 应该说信用卡与金·卡戴珊 Well, credit cards and Kim Kardashian.
金·卡戴珊 美国名媛 因性爱录影带外流而爆红
我跟普通男人一样 都喜欢她的大屁股 I like her big ass as much as the next man, 前好友帕丽斯·希尔顿曾在电台上调侃她的大屁股
性爱录影带的男主角把影带卖给了A片公司 并发行了DVD 但把屁股拿出来卖就不对了 but don't go give the damn butt a franchise.
麦克斯 我自认承受力强 Max, I can take a lot.
你的性能力自己知道就好 Please keep your sex life to yourself.
我身败名裂的时候 我挺住了 I handled it when I lost my fortune,
我身败名裂的时候 我真的挺住了 and I handled it when I lost my fortune.
你说了两遍 You said that twice.
因为我觉得这值得再三强调 Because I think it bears repeating.
但是这个 我实在挺不住了 But this is too much.
刚走的那对情侣消费了五十块 That couple that just left...a $50 check,
却只留下一块四毛七的小费 a $1.47 tip. 餐馆小费的金额 通常是消费额的一到两成
四毛七呀 47 cents?
原来还有在铸造这么小面额的硬币啊 Uh, I wasn't even aware they were still making pennies.
我笑脸迎人 卑躬屈膝 难道我的服务 I smiled and bent over backwards, giving them service...
就值一块四毛七吗 all for $1.47?
我就这么成了纽约最廉价的妓女 This makes me the lowest-paid hooker in New York.
好啦 把账单给我 我来搞定 All right, give me that check. I'll handle this.
喂 Hey!
我同事的服务有什么不周到的地方吗 Was something wrong with the service my girl over here gave you?
没 给你多少小费是我的自由 No. Tipping's an option.
在你食物里吐口水也是我的自由 So is me spitting in your food.
下次你用硬币打发服务员的时候 You might want to remember that the next time
麻烦记住这点 you leave a waitress pennies.
抱歉 我并不知情 I'm sorry. I didn't know.
这是我们初次 也会是最后一次约会 This was our first and last date.
抱歉 伙计 Sorry, dude.
这个故事告诉你 Looks like this little tip
舍不得银子上不着妞呀 just lost you the chance to give her your little tip.
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第一季 第六集 姐妹花 打工 第一季 第六集 姐妹花 打工
姐妹花 第六集 第一季 打工 姐妹花 第六集 第一季
第一季 第六集 姐妹花
翻译 穷困撩人YY猫
校对 穷困潦倒赛太公 翻译 穷困撩人YY猫 翻译 穷困撩人YY猫
校对 穷困潦倒赛太公 校对 穷困潦倒赛太公 翻译 穷困撩人YY猫 翻译 穷困撩人YY猫
后期 鱼骨头 校对 穷困潦倒赛太公 校对 穷困潦倒赛太公 翻译 穷困撩人YY猫 翻译 穷困撩人YY猫
后期 鱼骨头 后期 鱼骨头 校对 穷困潦倒赛太公 校对 穷困潦倒赛太公 翻译 穷困撩人YY猫 翻译 穷困撩人YY猫
时间轴 总监 穷困撩人YY猫 时间轴 总监 穷困撩人YY猫 后期 鱼骨头 后期 鱼骨头 校对 穷困潦倒赛太公 校对 穷困潦倒赛太公 翻译 穷困撩人YY猫 翻译 穷困撩人YY猫
校对 穷困潦倒赛太公 后期 鱼骨头 时间轴 总监 穷困撩人YY猫
麦克斯 进来坐下 Max, come in, sit down.
有件事我们要好好谈谈 There's something we have to talk about.
应该跟我的饮酒问题无关 This can't be about my drinking.
我穷的买不起酒当酒鬼 I don't have the money to be a real alcoholic.
你能坐到那张椅子上吗 Can you sit in that chair, please?
我从来不坐那张椅子 I never sit in that chair.
今天我们要与往常不同 Well, today we're doing things differently...
-要打破常规 -等等 - breaking our patterns. - Hold up.
山达基教又名科学神教 饱受争议 常被媒体与前信徒描述为邪教 你加入山达基教了吗 Did you join Scientology?
山达基教又名科学神教 饱受争议 常被媒体与前信徒描述为邪教
我还去星巴克给你买了杯咖啡 And I went to Starbucks and got you a coffee
和一个香草味的熊爪面包 and a vanilla bear claw.
熊爪面包 太棒了 你要我坐哪都行 A Bear Claw? Awesome! I'll sit anywhere you want.
现在的人生不是我想要的 My life is not where I want it to be.
那一块四毛七宛如警世钟 点醒我 That $1.47 tip was a wake-up call reminding me
人生会低估你的价值 that life will always undervalue you
如果你听之任之 if you let it.
没错 我是被生活打击了 Yes, I've been knocked down,
但现在是时候还击了 我要掌握人生 but now it's time to fight back and grab life by the balls.
我不知道生活是否喜欢被你"掌握蛋蛋"[直译] I don't know if life likes having its balls grabbed.
有些男的喜欢 不过通常都是 Some guys do, but those are usually the ones
也喜欢叫你抱抱他们的娘炮 who want you to spoon them.
我想靠着这个来告诉你 我们未来的展望 I'd like to explain my vision for our future by walking you through
梦想拼图板 My vision board.
-不是吧 -这个工具很简单 - Oh, no. - It's a simple tool.
你的头脑也很简单 You're a simple tool.
首先找一块白色的平板 You start with a thin, white board...
board一字多义 有"板子"跟"无聊"的意思 你又白又平 我快无聊死了 Your thin, white, and I'm bored.
board一字多义 有"板子"跟"无聊"的意思
继续啊 这种话我能扯一天呢 Keep going. I can do this all day.
我有熊爪撑腰 I have a bear claw in me.
我从小就开始做梦想拼图板 I've been making vision boards for years,
而且总能靠它实现自己的目标 and I always achieve my goals.
你认为真的是靠这个愚蠢的小白板 And you think it's that crazy little board
而不是你父亲的钞票吗 and not your father's billions?
麦克斯 它真的管用 Max, it works.
把人生中想要实现的目标和图片贴上面 You put up pictures and inspirational words
再加一些鼓舞人心的话 of things you want in your life.
瞧 我写了"成功" "小蛋糕店" See? I have success, a cupcake business,
而且还贴了张新床的美照 and a picture of a beautiful new bed.
你进疯人病院后的床可不是长这样 Ah, the ones at the asylum look different than that,
别太指望有这床 so don't get attached.
睡在那个破沙发 让我的人生毫无冲劲 Sleeping on that couch is holding me back.
我从来没睡过一天安稳觉 I never get a restful night's sleep,
我真需要好好睡上九小时 and I need a good nine hours.
你需要的是好好睡"上"九英寸吧 What you need is a good nine inches.
这应该贴在你的梦想拼图板上 That should be on your vision board.
我贴了 在后面呢 It is... on the back.
很好 Nice.
所以除非你愿意每隔一周 Now, unless you're willing to switch the bedroom
跟我换床睡 every other week...
摩门教早期曾主张过一夫多妻制 不要 好像摩门教轮流睡 No, that sounds Mormon.
那我只好在这装一张折叠床了 Then I want to install a murphy bed in here.
白天这床可以折起来靠在墙上 The bed folds up against the wall during the day,
好让你保持你威廉斯堡风格的 so you'd still maintain your signature Williamsburg
"我不在乎任何时髦或美好事物"的装饰物 "I don't care about anything chic or nice" decor.
那谁来装啊 我肯定不干 Who's going to build it? 'Cause it's not me.
我当保姆已经 I'm already being taken advantage of
干很多不相干的活了 at my babysitting job.
琵琪为了那对双胞胎的首次生日会 Peach has me lugging things back and forth
让我帮她搬东西 to help with the twins' first birthday party.
我都帮她徵选适合的小丑一周了 I've been sorting through clown resumes for a week.
琵琪要举办生日会吗 Peach is throwing a birthday party?
你有没有问甜点能否由我们来提供 Did you ask her if we can cater the desserts?
她请的是花俏有真实店面的人 She hires fancy people with real companies.
我们都还没开业 We're not a real business.
瞧 这就是我所说的 See? This is what I'm talking about.
你嘲笑梦想拼图板 但是瞧 You mock the vision board, but look...
就在这儿呢 我们的蛋糕店 here it is, our cupcake shop.
那屋小得都挤不进咱俩 I don't think we can both fit in there.
麦克斯 你得去畅想我们的未来 Max, you have to start imagining what our life can be.
你应该拥有一家蛋糕店 我应该拥有一张新床 You deserve a cupcake shop, and I deserve a new bed.
有梦最美 希望相随嘛 All you have to do is dream it.
不 是心动不如马上行动 No, all you have to do is do it.
至于你要装一张折叠床 And for you to build a Murphy bed,
则需要奇迹 it'll take a miracle.
除非你的小版上有写英文或 So unless you have Jesus or
西语的"耶稣" Jesus on that board...
否则你别痴心妄想了 Not going to happen.
谁呀 Who is it?
耶稣 It's Jesus...
我是威廉斯堡家具公司的 From Williamsburg hardware.
送"自己动手丰衣足食"折叠床来 We got your do-it-yourself Murphy bed.
瞧 梦就是这么圆的 See how I made that happen?
心想事成呀 Vision.
那哪个人的老二是九英寸 So which one of them has the nine inches?
猜猜我今天干了啥 Guess what I did today?
干了耶稣吗 Jesus?
你觉得呢 What do you think?
我觉得床还没装好 I think the bed still isn't built.
没错 但是也快完工了 No, but it's almost finished.
瞧 Look...
发现我有什么不一样吗 Notice anything different about me?
我知道答案 I have answer.
你隆胸了 You had boob job.
你的罩杯由B升级到C了 Your "B"s have turned into "C"s,
对此 我要给你一个A and for that, I give you an "A."
不 我把制服改了 No, I had my uniform altered.
没错 人生扔给我一套不合身的制服 Yes, life dealt me a bad uniform,
但是发挥一下想象力 but with a little vision,
我可以把它改到最能展现我身段的样子 I can shape it the way it works best for me.
你要是写励志书 可以写上这个 That should be a tip in your inspirational book,
温馨小贴士 which I'm guessing is called
"从杂志上剪图片" cutting pictures out of magazines
"再不是连环杀手的专利" isn't just for serial killers anymore.
还有一件高兴的事 瞧 And this is exciting... look.
今天我做的另一件重要的事 The other really important thing I did today...
就是给咱们印了名片 made us business cards.
现在你可以拿去给琵琪 Now you can give one to Peach
让她把咱们列入候选名单中 and throw our hat into the party ring.
你是她的保姆 还能走个后门 You're her babysitter. You already have a connection.
对啊 直通她宝宝的后门 Yeah, a connection to her babies' asses.
瞧 这就是你不敢做梦 See? That's your limited vision.
再说了 琵琪正在面试一个基佬 Plus, Peach is interviewing this gay guy
玛莎·斯图尔特 美国第二富婆 人家以前可是为玛莎·斯图尔特工作呢 who used to work for Martha Stewart.
又基又认识玛莎·斯图尔特 怎么跟人比啊 I mean, gay, Martha Stewart... we can't top that.
就把卡片给她嘛 我们必须得开个头 Just give her the cards. We have to start somewhere.
瞧 "麦克斯自制蛋糕" See? "Max's homemade cupcakes."
还有 "麦克斯·布莱克 店主兼糕点师" And look... "Max Black, owner/baker."
"店主兼师傅" "Owner/baker"?
挺屌啊 That's pretty cool.
瞧 这就是 See? There it is.
梦想照进现实 It's real.
但是这名字太恶心了 But the name sucks a big one.
"自制" 听起来像在家自学 "Homemade"... it sounds like homeschooled,
我们像是在生产 like we're churning out cupcakes
孤僻不合群的蛋糕的店 that aren't comfortable around other people.
也听起来很美味啊 Or it sounds delicious.
而且名片上的小蛋糕还有颗樱桃 And the cupcake on the card has a cherry on it.
我的"阴桃"早在我十三岁的时候 My cupcakes don't have a cherry...
就被人"破"掉了 haven't since I was 13.
你要按到他的肩胛骨 If you could really get under his shoulder blades...
有助于舒缓他所有的压力 that's where he carries all his stress.
把真话憋回去 Don't say your real thoughts.
麦克斯 今天要用水疗馆的声音说话 Max, we're using our spa voice today.
我去水疗馆的声音 好吧 Use my spa voice? Okay.
"我付不起水疗啊" I can't afford this.
我要你确保他们俩 I want you to make sure the twins
在按摩之后喝大量的水 drink lots of water after,
因为要排出体内的毒素 you know, to flush out the toxins.
毒素 Toxins?
他们平时就喝人奶 All they drink is breast milk.
我又不确定我雇的那个奶妈 I can't be sure what the woman I buy that from
吃的都是无毒产品 puts in her body.
我们超级紧张这场生日会 We're all so tense about the birthday party.
如果一切不够完美 If everything isn't perfect,
他们这辈子就要在羞耻中度过了 how will they live with the shame?
琵琪 Um, Peach, um...
说到生日会 Speaking of the... the party,
我创这家... 店 uh, I-I started this, um, thing,
可能有些不自量力 但是 and it's probably dumb, but...
其实不必 我无所谓 I don't need it. Like, I'm fine.
真的大可不必 这更像... I don't need it. It's just more like...
更像...帮个忙 like a... like a... Favor.
事情是这样的 这是我的名片 Um, but, uh, the thing is, there's the cards,
我想或..."或能" so I was thinking may... "maybly"...
"或能" 什么啊 连个词儿都不是 对吧 "maybly"? What's that? It's not a word, right?
-我连话都不会说了 -抱歉 - I was not saying a word. - I'm sorry.
无论你现在在说什么 我都不想听了 I'm done with whatever this is that you're doing.
我约了玛莎·斯图尔特的御用同志 I have to go meet the Martha Stewart queen
听听他的生日会提议 and hear his party pitch.
记住 Just remember,
双胞胎下午三点要做美黑 at 3:00, the twins have their spray tans.
跟我预想的一模一样 Well, that's exactly how I envisioned that.
强尼 让我看看你在画什么 Let me see what you're drawing, Johnny.
一只戴着内战帽子的老鼠 A rat with a civil war hat.
你这是在嘲讽政客是如何看待士兵的吗 Is that your comment on how politicians view soldiers?
不 我真的看见一只戴着帽子的老鼠 No, it's an actual rat I saw wearing a hat.
在酒吧忙活到凌晨四点 See, when you tend bar till 4:00 a.m.,
你会看见很多诡异的事情 you see a lot of weird stuff.
当你在餐厅忙活到凌晨两点 And when you waitress till 2:00,
你会看见一个窝囊废在餐巾上画老鼠 you see a loser drawing a rat on a napkin.
签个名吧 Now sign it, please.
你知道我的作品在我死之前都会一文不值吧 You realize my art won't be worth anything till I'm dead?
不然我老请你来吃饭是为了什么呢 Why do you think I keep inviting you here to eat week after week?
提问 Question...
作为餐巾画作的拥有者 how does it feel to be the owner
该如何看待画作比餐巾本身 of an original piece of napkin art worth roughly...
还不值钱这件事 Less than the worth of the napkin?
我得回去干活了 Well, I got to get back to work.
好的 再见 All right, bye.
上菜 十号桌 Pick up... table ten.
你的所作所为我都看见了 I watch you over there.
跟游手好闲的酒保偷来暗去 Much sexual tension with deadbeat bartender.
他不光是个酒吧 他是街头艺术家 He's not just a bartender. He's a street artist.
而且我不过是咬了一口他的芹菜 And all I did was bite a piece of celery.
我求你咬我那根"芹菜"多久了啊 When I think of all the times I asked you to bite my celery...
你倒是咬呀 And nothing.
好了 我的工作干完了 客人也都结账了 Okay, my side work's done, and my tables are all caught up.
快告诉我 你把名片给了琵琪吗 So, tell me, did you give Peach the card?
-没 我没给 -为什么 - No, I didn't. - Why?
我的嘴巴不让我这么做 It was like my mouth wouldn't let me do it.
这太扯了吧 That's crazy.
跟琵琪开口提这事是有多难 What's so hard about going up to Peach
就直接说"下午好 琵琪 and saying, "good afternoon, Peach."
好消息 我开了家小蛋糕店 "Exciting news... I started a cupcake business."
这是我们的名片 "Here's our card."
劳烦跟你所有的朋友宣传宣传 "Please pass them out to all your friends,
新店开张 就当帮我们站稳脚跟吧 and help us launch our exciting new business venture."
谢谢" "Thank you."
听起来好"求人关注" That sounds needy,
就像被邀请去听别人的自我剖析 like when someone asks you to come to their one-woman show.
"我被人迷奸了 "Somebody date-raped me,
我还以为我过不去这关 and I didn't think I'd live through it,
但我成功度过 内心也变得更强大了" but I did, and now I'm stronger,
求人关注的心也没变 and, uh, still needy."
只是把优质的产品推荐给更多的人 There is nothing needy about having a quality product
跟死皮赖脸没关系 and wanting it out there.
你看厄尔 他也在卖自己的CD啊 Look at Earl... he has a CD on display.
是啊 但人家是姜太公钓鱼 Yeah, but he's cool about it.
不像那种深夜电视推销节目 He doesn't get all late-night infomercial
死命推销逼人购买 and shove them down people's throats.
厄尔 Earl?
你在这家餐厅卖出了多少张CD How many CDs have you sold at the diner?
现在世道不好... Well, in this current economy...
销量微薄啊 It's been pretty light.
-让我试试 -请便 - May I? - Mm-hmm.
你们好呀 Hi.
一看你们就是热爱音乐的人 You guys look like music lovers.
这将会是你们听过最好听的萨克斯专辑哦 This is the best saxophone CD you will ever hear...
由我们的收银员卡尔·萨姆森倾情奉献 recorded by our cashier Earl Samson.
他跟很多名人合作过呢 He's played with all the greats...
约翰·考尔特兰尼 著名爵士乐萨克斯管演奏家 赫比·汉考 爵士钢琴与键盘大师 波特·巴克拉克 美国乐坛著名作曲家 考尔特兰尼 汉考 巴克拉克 Coltrane, Hancock, even Bacharach.
虽然他因沉迷吸毒而断送了自己的事业 His music career derailed due to a heroin addiction,
但他现在已经洗心革面 but now he's clean and sober
八十三的高龄 依旧努力追求自己的梦想 and, at 83, still following his dream.
一张只要九块九毛五 谁想来一张 Only $9.95 a copy. Who'd like one?
谢谢你们 Thank you!
厄尔 四张CD Earl, four CDs.
她说的话有真的吗 Is any of that true?
没 她连我的姓都是瞎掰的 Nope. She even made up my damn last name.
这妞是天生的推销员呀 That girl can sell.
麦克斯 Oh! Max...
能过来看一眼布莱洁莉娜吗 Will you come look at Brangelina?
我觉得那个美黑师有点过头了 I think the spray-tan lady went a little too far.
我想让他们看起来阳光点 而不是像外籍劳工 I wanted them to look tan, not foreign.
看上去还好呀 They look fine.
就有点像黎巴嫩人 A little Lebanese,
但过个一两天就能恢复"本色"了吧 but that'll clear up in a day or two.
今天真是太糟糕了 I'm having the worst day.
杰瑞·宋飞是《宋飞传》的主演 美国著名喜剧演员 宋飞的老婆把玛莎的御用同志给挖走了 Jessica Seinfeld stole the Martha Stewart boy.
我对她太失望了 I am so upset with her.
假装当姐妹的情谊都不顾了 I thought we were pretending to be friends.
现在甜点也没人给我做了 And now I have no one to do the desserts.
你好 琵琪 好消息 Hello, Peach, exciting news...
我有个小蛋糕店 它们超美味 I have a cupcake business. They're really good.
劳烦把名片给你的朋友们 帮我新店 Give these to your friends and help launch
站稳脚跟 或随便怎么着吧 a new business or whatever.
说完了 我做到了 收工 That's it. I did it. Boom!
好吧 床还没装 Okay, the bed still isn't built.
但今天把床垫送来了 超级舒服哟 But the mattress came, and it's so good.
不行 这样不行 Oh, no... this is not okay.
我们不能把床垫放在地板上 We're not keeping a mattress on the floor.
咱们虽穷 可是瘾君子家才这么随便 We're poor, not crackheads.
你居然骗我 And you tricked me.
我名片都给人了 你赶快把你该装的床装上 I did my part, so you better get this bed done.
麦克斯 你把卡片给琵琪了 Max, you gave Peach the cards.
我真为你感到骄傲 她说什么了 I'm so proud of you. What did she say?
别吵 闭嘴 干活 No. Shut it. Do it.
放轻松嘛 这床在今天之前 Relax. The bed will be assembled
肯定会组装完毕 然后收到墙上 and hidden in the wall by the end of the day,
因为我决定采用女人 'cause I decided to do what cute girls
从古到今的惯用伎俩 have been doing for centuries.
找个男人来帮忙 I asked a guy for help.
你找了个男人 You called a guy?
他是要顺着你长长的金发 Oh, is he going to climb up your long blonde hair
爬进你的折叠床城堡中拯救你吗 and rescue you from your murphy-bed tower?
慢着 你不认识任何男人 Wait. You don't know any guys.
你把谁叫过来了 Who did you invite?
-强尼 -不 不 不 - Johnny. - No. No, no, no, no.
我不想看见他 Eh, I don't want to see Johnny.
我昨晚我跟他在餐馆擦出了尴尬的小火花 I had a weird thing with him at the diner last night.
我以为你俩是朋友呢 I thought you guys were friends.
我不知道我俩算什么 I don't know what we are.
他拿根芹菜假装采访我 He was fake interviewing me with a celery stalk...
"成年人"嘛 无可厚非 'Cause you're both grown-ups.
当他把它放到我嘴边时 And when he put it near my mouth,
我以为他要我咬一口呢 所以我... I thought he wanted me to bite it, so I...
-你咬了 -我咬了 - You bit it? - I bit it!
这真是又雷人又丢人又撩人 That is weird and humiliating and hot.
对对 全中 所以快给他打电话 Yes, yes, and, yes. Call him right now!
他不能过来 你看看四周 He can't come over here. Look around!
我把他的餐巾挂满整个屋子 I have his napkins hanging up everywhere.
他会以为我是嗜血法医 He'll think I'm Dexter.
美剧嗜血法医Dexter 杀人狂主角会把将杀目标曾经的罪行贴在墙上
别接 Don't answer that.
-你敢 -进来吧 强尼 - Don't you... - Come on in, Johnny.
是的 我敢 我需要一张床 Yes, I did it. I need a bed.
你太自私了 You are so selfish!
对 我是自私鬼 也好过你个杀人狂 Yes, I'm selfish, and you're Dexter.
所以还是快动手帮我把餐巾都摘掉吧 So, quick... help me take down the napkins.
天啊 怎么这么多 Oh, god, there are so many!
我之前怎么完全没有意识到 How come I never noticed how many there were before?
不知道 大概跟你没意识到 I don't know. Same reason you didn't notice
你爸偷全世界的钱一个道理吧 your father stealing everybody's money.
你真要这样吗 我现在可是在帮你哟 Really? Really? Now when I'm helping you?
你赢了 那晚点再损你好了 You're right. We'll trash you later.
为什么你不直接问他 那一口芹菜意味着什么 Why don't you just ask him what the celery moment meant?
我不想问 I don't want to ask him.
你从来不想问任何人任何事 You don't want to ask anybody anything.
这又不像名片 It's not like the business cards.
我要怎么开口 What am I going to say?
"下午好 强尼 "Good afternoon, Johnny."
好消息 我开了一家 "Exciting news... I have started
尴尬情欲咬芹菜店" an oddly sexual celery-biting business."
马上就来 强尼 Be right there, Johnny!
好呀 Yo.
根据你的请求 我把工具带来了 So I brought tools... per your request...
根据自我需求 我还带了啤酒 and beer, I made an executive decision on.
原来你这么欣赏我的画作呀 So that's what you do with my art.
就一张 是我把它放上去的 Just one, and I put it up there.
她一点都不喜欢 还老说 She doesn't even like it... she's like,
"怎么会有人把白痴餐巾画给挂起来呀" "why would anyone hang up stupid napkin art?"
完全不在意 Right off my back.
坐地铁时小喝了几罐 Had a couple of these on the subway.
床板在这里 So here's the wood.
你不能帮她 You can't help her...
自己的事情自己做 she needs to learn a lesson about doing things for herself.
她以为我们跟她爹一样 会心软反悔 She thinks we're her daddy, and we'll go back on our word,
一切就能马到功成 and she'll get a pony.
她的确"马"到擒来了 Well, you can see why she'd think that.
我要去看看小马想喝啤酒吗 I'm going to see if the horse wants a beer.
没准我帮它带上眼镜后 Hmm, maybe put my glasses on him...
它会跟我一样又晕又嗨呢 get crazy up in this piece!
等你俩在外面时 问他那一口芹菜的意义 When you're out there, ask him what the celery meant.
快动手吧 小公主 爸比有客人要"招呼" Get busy, princess. Daddy's got company.
小姑娘 一个铁汉牛仔 Well, little lady, I reckon a cowboy'd get used to
都会安定下来啊 a pretty sweet setup like this.
这年头讨生活不容易啊 It's a hard life out on the trails.
是呀 我们印第安人就容易吗 Yeah, it's hard for my people, too,
自从你偷了我们所有的土地 since you stole all our land
白人殖民者曾经故意将带有天花病毒的毛毯送给印第安人 还给我们送来满是天花的毛毯 and gave us blankets covered in smallpox.
郑重声明 I do declare,
我对给你们带来疾病的毛毯深感抱歉 I'm sorry for the disease blankets.
但它们的确给你们送来温暖 But they did keep you warm, I bet,
直至你们病死那天 until they killed you, that is.
"郑重声明"不像牛仔会说的 "I do declare" is not cowboy.
那是南方仕女的口吻 That's Southern Belle.
darn tootin = damn right 那是南方仕女的口吻 That's Southern Belle.
我猜你是想说"太他妈对了" I think you're looking for "darn tootin'" darn tootin = damn right
dag nab it=doggone it=damn it 或是"靠" or "dag nab it."
牛仔从来不说"靠" Cowboys did not say "dag nab it." dag nab it=doggone it=damn it
不 他们会说 Yeah, they did.
"有人偷走了我的马 靠" "Someone done gone stole my horse, dag nab it."
我觉得你是想说"该死的" I think you're thinking "doggone it."
不 牛仔是说"靠" No, "dag nab it"... cowboy.
你觉得你比我还了解牛仔吗 Do you really think you know cowboy better than me?
是谁有马呀 Which one of us has a horse?
搞笑的骑士皮裤 露臀长裤 是谁有"无"臀皮裤呀 Which one of us has assless chaps?
我该进去帮帮卡洛琳吗 Should I go inside and help Caroline?
不必 我肯定她一个人能行 No. I'm sure she's doing just fine.
我能问你个问题吗 Can I ask you something?
当然 Sure. 我能问你个问题吗 Can I ask you something?
当然 Sure.
当你把那... When you put the sss...
我们上马吧 we should get on the horse!
-好的 -好耶 - Okay. - Yeah!
用三英寸方头螺钉 Use three-inch lag screw
把托梁横板固定到墙柱上 to secure ledger board to wall studs
"达"约每十二英寸钉一个 "aboot" every 12 inches.
唉 你的加拿大腔真让人想睡 Ooh! Your Canadian voice is so dull,
害我一句都没听懂 I can't understand a word you're saying.
肯定有声音语调更好的视频 There's got to be a video with a better voice.
摩根·弗里曼 美国著名黑人演员 嗓音独特 为纪录片做过旁白 "怎样装折叠床 摩根·弗里曼" "How to build a Murphy bed... Morgan Freeman."
发现了一个关于马的有趣事情 Interesting bit of information about horses...
它们会让你蛋疼 they hurt your balls.
对 我的也疼 Yeah, mine hurt, too.
还以为男人骑了几百年的马 You would think after all these years of riding a horse,
他们的蛋蛋会从下面 man would have evolved to have his balls on top
进化到上面来呢 instead of underneath.
好让骑马从此没压力 Life would be so much easier.
但是感觉旧时的女人们 Well, yeah, but I don't see a lot of old-timey ladies
不会想跟高蛋人士"交往"吧 wanting to get with the top balls.
你在想那根芹菜吗 Are you thinking about the celery?
不 我还在想我的两颗蛋 No, I'm still thinking about my balls.
现在我开始想那根芹菜了 Now I'm thinking about the celery.
当时真尴尬 对吧 That was weird, right?
不是尴尬 应该说是 很浓烈 Not weird, really... more, um, intense.
好的浓烈还是坏的浓烈 Intense good or intense bad?
很浓烈的浓烈 Intense intense.
哇 Whoo.
哎呀 我刚是不是抓了你的... Whoa. Oh. Did I just grab your...
不知道 "或能"吧 Yeah, I don't know. "Maybly."
"或能" 什么跟什么啊 对吧 "Maybly"! That's not a word, right?
-我们... -我得下马了 - We should... - I got to get down.
我也是 Me too.
蛋疼 My balls.
拿出你的化妆刷和镜子 So take your makeup brush, take your mirror,
把你的眉毛往上刷 and you want to comb your eyebrows upwards.
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
好吧 好吧 Okay, okay.
我以为我输入的是"摩根·弗里曼" I thought I typed in "Morgan Freeman."
但是我太累了 打成"磨根·基佬曼" But I'm so tired, what came up was "more gay men""
但这人真的很厉害 but this Damon guy is a genius.
如果他有出关于如何安装折叠床的视频 If he had a video on how to build a Murphy bed,
我铁定早把床装好了 it'd already be done.
等等 强尼呢 Wait. Where's Johnny?
发生什么事了 你问他了吗 What happened? Did you ask him?
没 他走了 No, he left.
后院直接走了啊 Out the back?
对 事情发展得更尴尬了 Yeah, it got even weirder.
他抓了我的胸 He grabbed my boob.
应该说 他没有抓我的... Or... he didn't grab my...
他的确有抓到我的胸 he grabbed my boob.
我也不知道他是不是有意的 I just don't know whether it was on purpose.
我照你教我那样问了他 But I asked, like you told me to,
结果现在多了个尴尬的胸部一手抓 and now I have a weird boob moment
配我那个芹菜一口咬 to go with my weird celery moment.
情况的确很复杂 That is very complicated.
不过我对感情方面很有一套 But I'm great with relationship stuff.
所以快过来 一起把床给解决了 So come on over here, and we'll hammer it all out
然后再一起把你的问题也解决掉 while we hammer this all out.
拜托 现在该是你理智线断了 Come on, this is where you break down
终于愿意帮我把床装好的最佳时机 and finally help me build the bed.
错 现在是我去我已装好的床上躺着的时机 No, this is where I go to my already-built bed.
在琵琪家的事以及 And after Peaches today and...
刚才我胸的那件破事之后 whatever that was out there with my boob,
在外给人名片 私下吐露心声 I'm not showing anyone my cards anymore...
这两样我再也不干了 business or personal.
进去 Go in!
进去呀 Go in! Oh!
你在外面搞什么啊 What is happening out here?
这撞击声应该是等你到了床上 That's the kind of pounding that's supposed to happen
"活动"时才发出来的 after you're in the bed.
我做不到 I can't do it.
我努力过 尽全力了 还是做不到 I tried. I really did, but I can't.
果然没了我爸的钱 我只是个废物 I guess I can't do anything without my father's money.
你说得对 You were right.
尝试只会自讨没趣 Trying is embarrassing.
所以我还是死了这条心算了 So I'm not going to try anymore.
我受够了 I'm sick of it.
我的余生就睡在这张可怕的沙发上 I'm going to sleep on that horrible couch
就拿着卑微的小费 含着泪 and get bad tips and cry
度过我当服务员的每一天 every waitress day for the rest of my life.
老爸 求你了 Daddy, please.
天啊 你真是小孩子 God, you're a baby.
好吧 我来帮你 但是下不为例 Okay, I'll help you... this one time only.
干活时别妄想能成为生死之交 And we're not going to bond when we do it.
完工后也别想跟我击掌欢呼 We're not going to high-five when we finish.
也不想以后还得听到你说 And I don't want to hear two months from now,
"还记得我们装折叠床的那晚吗 "hey, remember that night we built the Murphy bed?
真是美妙的一夜" 通通不行 知道吗 That was awesome." None of that. Got it?
我们得用到电钻 We need the power drill,
四分之一英寸钻头 带槽螺钉 1/4-inch bit, some masonry screws,
还有熊爪面包 and a bear claw.
删掉关键词"眉毛" Now delete "eyebrows,"
输入"折叠床" 然后开工解决这小混蛋 type in "Murphy bed," and let's build this mother.
真不敢相信终于完工了 I can't believe we did it.
是啊 看起来挺好 Yeah, it looks pretty good.
麦克斯 Oh, Max.
你把蛋糕店放在你的梦想拼图... You put the bakery up on your vision
柱上了 beam.
再多说一句 我就拿下来 Say anything more, and I'll take it down.
-你认识这号码吗 -是琵琪 - Do you know this number? - That's Peach.
-她为什么会打给你 -肯定是蛋糕店的事 - Why would she call you? - It's about the cupcake business...
那名片上留了我电话 my number's on the card.
开免提 Put it on speaker.
你好 Hello?
我在婴儿房发现了你的名片 I found your card in my baby's room.
我不知道你是谁 也不知道卡哪来的 I have no idea who you are or how it got there,
但我下周准备开一个生日会 but I'm throwing a birthday party in a week,
我觉得小蛋糕应该挺有意思 and I thought cupcakes might be fun.
是啊 Oh, they are.
大家都爱小蛋糕 People love cupcakes.
它们能勾起大家的各种情怀 They bring a sense of whimsy and nostalgia.
够了 That's enough.
你不如直接告诉我 Why don't you tell me
你们承办过什么活动 some of the other events you've done?
我们的店才刚起步 Oh, well, we're a start-up company.
不行 我要的是真正的店 Oh, no, I need a real business.
再见 Bye-bye.
这下你满意了吧 Well, there you go...
完全是浪费时间 complete waste of our time.
瞧 尝试的后果就是自讨没趣 See? Trying is embarrassing.
不 这很好啊 简直太棒了 No. That was great, incredible.
什么 她都挂你电话了 What? She hung up on you.
是 但这也证明了一件事 Yes. But it proves one thing.
这些名片 果然有用 The cards... they worked!
这太激动人心了 This is so inspiring.
我们成功装上折叠床 接着还有生意上门 First we build a Murphy bed, next a cupcake business,
马克斯 then, Max...
谁知道接下来会有什么好事呢 Who knows what else?
帮我调一下弹簧嘛 Uh, adjust the springs?
不要 这样挺好 No, that's perfect.