艾芙莉 快来看看这个 Hey, Avery, check this out.
我在最后时刻给你妈妈买了这个圣诞节礼物 I got your Mom this last-minute Christmas gift for tomorrow.
这是可以灭虫的手机套 It's a phone case fly zapper.
用这里来灭虫 This part here zaps the flies.
好主意啊 Good idea.
给老妈这种便宜又寒酸的礼物 我看你是想让她灭了你吧 Give Mom a cheap, unromantic gift that she can literally zap you with.
对哦 你也知道你妈 Plus, knowing your mother,
她肯定会反过来拿 把她自己电到 she'd hold it backwards and zap herself.
这可真是个烂发明 谁会买这种东西啊 Wow, this is a really bad invention. Who would buy this?
你好啊 亲爱的 Hey, hon.
发生了什么事吗 Hey, what's wrong?
我刚刚接了个电话 是 是我妹妹打过来的 I just got off the phone. It's... it's my sister.
噢 不 她怎么了吗 Oh, no. Did something happen to her?
她才刚准备开始她的假期旅行 然后 Apparently she was on the first leg of her holiday trip and...
我说不出口 I can't even say it.
怎么回事 What happened?
她去夏威夷的中转航班延误了六小时 Her connecting flight to Hawaii has been
所以她想顺路来看看我们 delayed six hours, so she wants to come visit.
噢天哪 艾伦 我也很难过 Oh, my gosh. Ellen, I am so sorry.
听着 我们一定能熬过这一关的 Listen, we will get through this somehow.
总以为她会找别人 从没想过她会找上我 You always think she's gonna visit somebody else... never you.
西格妮小姨很可怕吗 What's so bad about Aunt Sigourney?
我不怎么了解她 I barely know her.
我已经很努力地想把她挤出我的生活了 I've kind of made an effort to keep her out of my life.
你有没有见过 Have you ever known anyone
一个什么方面都比你优秀的人 who was just better than you at everything?
没有 老实说 很难想象会有比我还优秀的人 No. Honestly, it's hard to even picture.
她要是不那么刻薄我都不会觉得那么难过 It wouldn't be so bad if she weren't so snarky about it.
她见你的第一眼 The first time she saw you,
就说你像个卷尾猴 she said you looked like a capuchin monkey.
-我还得小心 不让你听见 -很明显你没那么做 - I had to protect you from hearing that. - And yet you didn't.
她的人生是那么的完美无瑕 Her life is just so together and perfect.
尤其是和她那个平淡无奇年老色衰的姐姐相比 Especially compared to her plain, old, ordinary big sister.
难道没人跑出来安慰我一下说“你不平凡普通”吗 No one's gonna jump in and say, you're not plain and ordinary?
-哦 你一点不平凡啊 -你也不普通啦 - Oh, you're not plain. - You're not ordinary.
已经太迟了 Too late!
每次我们见面 Every time we see each other,
她都要针对我 说我不会当家 she zeroes in on how I'm a bad housekeeper...
头脑简单 与世隔绝 Unsophisticated, unworldly.
快出来夸我一下啊 Jump in any time.
我讲的这么慢就是故意要给你们机会啊 I'm purposely speaking slowly to give you a chance.
-你一点也不与世隔绝啦 -这间房子确实是有点乱 - You're not worldly. - The house is a little cluttered.
太迟了 Too late!
重点是 Point is...
她会揪出我身上任何一个小缺点 直到我哭着喊停 she picks on everything that's wrong with me until I cry.
这就像是她的一项健身运动 我的泪水就是她胜利的象征 It's like a sport to her, and making me cry is how she wins.
而现在 她居然说要来拜访我们 我只剩下一条路可走了 And now she'll be visiting us, and that leaves me one option!
没错 你要决心在这一年里 That's right! You can resolve that this year,
不会再输给她 you are not gonna let her get to you!
你会对你和你的人生感到光荣和骄傲 You are gonna be proud of your life and who you are.
好吧 我还是有两条路的 Okay, I have two options.
你说的那条大概就是当一个好榜样 And yours is probably setting a better example than
而我选择的那条是跳进车里 一直开到没气为止 jumping in the car and driving till I run out of gas.
就算你真的跳进车里 你也可以停下来加油的 Even if you had jumped in the car, you could've stopped for gas.
-这不是重点好吗 -路上有很多加油站的 - That's not the point... - There's like a dozen stations...
妈妈 Mom!
可能今年会不一样呢 Maybe this year can be different.
可能今年 你不会被她逼哭 你可能会赢呢 Maybe this year, you won't cry and you can win.
这不是想赢的问题 It's not about trying to win.
而是要接受这种家庭关系 It's about accepting that family relationships...
别吵 班尼特 艾芙莉在鼓励我能赢呢 Quiet, Bennet. Avery's telling me I can win.
我该怎么做呢亲爱的 And how exactly would that work Sweetie?
你可以在她来的这几小时里忍住不哭啊 You can get through the few hours that she's here without crying.
这就跟马拉松选手完成了长跑一样 I mean, it would be like a marathon runner finishing a race.
就像拳击手坚持着不倒下一样 Like a boxer going the distance.
可是我不喜欢跑步 But I don't like running,
打人 抑或被我妹妹挖苦 punching, or being criticized by my sister.
这些事情都让我想要泪流满面啊 They all make me cry.
那我们就不会给她挖苦你的机会 Then we won't give her anything to criticize.
她会看见我们在过一个完美的圣诞节 She'll see us having a perfect Christmas.
我能帮你赢这一战的 妈妈 I can help you pull this off, Mom.
这就是我给你的圣诞节礼物 It'll be my Christmas gift to you.
哦 谢谢你 艾芙莉 这真体贴 Oh, thank you Avery. That's so sweet.
比泰勒每年送我的抱抱券体贴多了 It is sweeter than the hug bucks I get every year from Tyler.
妈妈 我们能做到的 Mom, we can do this.
我们只要确保不会出什么意外就好 All we have to do is make sure there are no surprises.
进来吧 斯巴奇 Come on in, Sparky.
我可不能让一只不安又没受过训练的流浪狗 I couldn't let a stray, high-strung, untrained dog
在圣诞节流浪街头 spend Christmas out on the street.
所以 斯巴奇也要来这里过圣诞节 So, Sparky is here for Christmas.
去年我在这里度过的第一个圣诞节对我来说实在是太重要了 My first Christmas here last year meant so much to me.
我想把这种感动传递出去 I just want to give that gift to someone else.
好了 斯巴奇 按发送键 Okay, Sparky. Now press send.
你不肯这么做的原因 是你没听懂 Are you not doing it because you don't understand,
还是你觉得我写的不够好 or because you don't think it's good enough?
删除 好吧 真是明确 Delete. Well, that couldn't be clearer.
也真是伤人 Or more hurtful.
■
本字幕由★迪幻字幕组★为您奉献 欢迎登录www.Deefun.com
■
时间轴： shortcut
■
翻译： Funnybunny
■
校订： WaitinZ
■
后期： WaitinZ liloelva
狗狗博客 第二季第七集 Dog With a Blog S02E07 Twas the Fight Before Christmas
加油啊各位 西格妮小姨马上就要到了 Come on people. Aunt Sigourney will be here any minute and
我们得把圣诞节装饰得更完美才行 we've got a lot to do to make Christmas look perfect.
不 克洛伊 你的手制热狗装饰太特别了 No, Chloe, your homemade hot dog ornament is extra-special,
所以我们要把它放到树的后面去 防止它破掉 so it goes on the back of the tree so it won't break.
真是有说服力 That's believable.
有些四年级生在教我说反语 Some fourth-graders are teaching me sarcasm.
就是你说了什么 但是你想说的其实是相反的意思 It's where you say one thing but mean the opposite.
你真是个聪明的女孩 You are such a smart girl.
这句话从你嘴里说出口还真是意味深长哦 That means a lot coming from you.
克洛伊 Chloe!
不 我说的都是真心的 No, I really meant that.
哇 我好像真的掌握了反语讽刺啊 Wow, sarcasm really has a hold of me.
泰勒 克洛伊的玩偶怎么也在圣诞村庄里 Tyler, what are Chloe's dolls doing in Santa's Village?
因为我心中的圣诞老人也是个花花公子 Because the Santa I believe in is a player.
他知道谁淘气 谁善良 He knows who's naughty or nice.
好吧 接下来的两小时里 All right. For the next two hours,
我不能再给每件事都解释一遍了 I need to stop having to give reasons for things.
无论发生了什么 Whatever it is,
你们都要相信我是认真想过的 而且 我是正确的 just trust that I thought it through and that I'm right.
-这跟你平时的样子有什么区别吗 -也不应该有区别 - How is that different from any other day? - It shouldn't be.
如果你是这种态度 And if that's gonna be your attitude,
那你就不应该参与这个活动 maybe you shouldn't be a part of this.
哦 我不能帮忙准备圣诞装饰吗 Ooh, I can't help decorate for Christmas?
不能关心一下装饰品放在哪里吗 I can't fuss over what ornament goes where?
这真是少年最可怕的噩梦 This is a teenage boy's worst nightmare!
艾芙莉 泰勒真的很沮丧 Avery, Tyler's really upset.
不 他才不会呢 你是不是还在练习说反语啊 No, he isn't. I thought you learned sarcasm.
我只是说说而已 我又不懂这是什么意思 I just speak it. I don't understand it.
好吧 西格妮姨妈就要来了 Okay, Aunt Sigourney's going to be here soon.
我要找到一个能让我控制着不哭出来的方法 I just need some way to snap myself out of it if I start to cry.
哦 我可以踩我的脚 Oh, I could step on my foot.
那是什么 What is that?
我不小心踩响了我的欢乐圣诞节长袜 I accidentally activated my good king wences-socks.
好吧 如果你不想让她挖苦你 Okay, if you don't want her to criticize you,
你现在就得把这袜子给脱了 take those off immediately.
如果你想控制着不哭出来 And if you want to snap yourself out of crying,
爸爸打算送你的礼物可能会有用 try the gift dad got you.
这是干嘛的 啊 What does this do? Aah!
哦 这玩意挺有用的哦 Ooh, that'll do nicely.
那就是浴室 So that's the bathroom.
虽然人们一般都会进房间里洗 Although for some reason the people all go inside the house.
真是麻烦的动物啊 What animals.
你把地板弄脏了吗 Did you just track mud in here?
这对我说服孩子们收养你可是毫无好处啊 Well, that is not gonna help me get the kids on board.
看来在我介绍你之前 You better wait here while
你最好先在这里待着 先练习怎样卖萌 I tell them about you. Practice looking cute.
还不错 不过你最好再用上爪子 That's not bad, but you gotta work with your paws.
在桌子上也要会卖萌啊 You're leaving a lot of cute on the table.
就是这样 Thusly.
不试不知道 Just so you know, the
原来姜饼人装饰不是用姜饼做的 gingerbread ornament is not made of gingerbread.
虽然我听见你说什么了 不过我觉得 I hear what you're saying, but I have a feeling I'm
我还是要自己尝试一下 going to have to learn that lesson for myself.
听着 我有事想跟你们说 Listen, there's something I want to tell you guys...
我也有事想跟你说 There's something I need to tell you, too...
西格妮姨妈就要来了 Aunt Sigourney's coming over and Avery's on one
艾芙莉沉醉在她那把一切变得完美的使命中 of her crazy missions to make everything perfect.
不过我早就是完美的啦 Like I'm not already perfect.
仍然不是姜饼 不过变软了 Still not gingerbread, but it's softening.
还有 如果你还想要有一点狗狗乐趣的话 Anyway, you may want to steer clear of Avery
最好避开艾芙莉 with any of your little doggy surprises.
等等 Whoa. Wait a minute,
你是说 我不能有作为狗狗的小乐趣 are you saying no little surprises from me as a doggy,
还是这些乐趣里面不能含有小狗狗 or no surprises involving a little doggy?
这可是两样不同的东西哦 Because those are two very different things.
两个都算吧 不过你到底在说什么 Both, and what are you even talking about?
谁知道呢 Ha-ha! Who knows?
我刚刚闯进了一堆奇怪的垃圾里 现在有点昏头昏脑的了 I just got into some weird trash out back. I'm a little loopy.
好吧 我有新计划 Okay, new plan.
我要把你藏到衣柜里 We hide you out here in
一直到西格妮姨妈离开 the coat closet until Aunt Sigourney's gone.
别担心 我会把它装饰得漂亮又充满圣诞气氛的 But don't worry, we'll make it nice and Christmassy.
嗒哒 Voila!
想唱首圣诞颂歌吗 You want to sing some carols?
用冬青树枝装点客厅 Deck the hall closet with boughs of holly.
哦对不起 我应该想到的 Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed.
光明节 噢 光明节 Hanukkah, oh Hanukkah.
这听起来像是德语歌曲“噢 圣诞树” This sounds just like O Tannenbaum.
我们到家了 We're home!
西格妮姨妈 吹毛求疵第一名 敏感多疑 永远比你强 Aunt Sigourney. Hyper-critical, insensitive, and better than you.
以上信息来源于她的网上交友资料 And that's from her online dating profile.
然后我就跟空姐说 So I said to the flight attendant,
我才不管你是不是怀孕了呢 I don't care if you are pregnant.
快去厨房里给我的曲奇饼加热 Waddle back to the galley and warm up my cookie.
有人吗 Anyone?
然后 对啊 她就开始哭了 And then, of course, she starts crying,
做得比我骂她之前还慢 which made her even slower.
拜托你们出来 Please?
-妮妮 -艾艾 - Sig! - El!
-你看起来真不错 -你也 看看你 - You look great. - And you... look at you!
-你好 西格妮姨妈 -你好 - Aunt Sigourney, hi. - Hi...
小猴子 Monkey!
我妈妈身上这套不错吧 和你穿的真像呢 And isn't my Mom's outfit great? It's just like yours.
哦 这么快就有山寨货卖了吗 Oh, the knock-offs are out already?
哦 真管用 Ooh, that's the stuff.
哦 我真应该把鞋子脱了 You know, I should really take off my shoes.
哦 别担心弄脏地板 Oh, don't worry about the floor.
我没有啊 我只是在担心我的鞋子而已 I'm not, I'm worried about my shoes.
你还好吗 Are you okay?
地板上的泥居然让我滑倒了 I slipped in some mud.
是我的错 It was my own fault.
我以为你的厨房不会有泥土 For assuming there wouldn't be mud on your kitchen floor.
不过没事 But don't worry.
比起我滑倒 我觉得你受的屈辱要多得多 I'm sure you're far more humiliated than I am hurt.
如果她现在走了 我忍住没哭 我就赢了对吧 If she leaves now and I didn't cry, I win, right?
你确定你没事吗 You sure you're okay?
班尼特可以开车送你去急诊室 Bennett could drive you to the emergency room
然后再送你回机场 and then off to the airport.
请不要使唤班尼特 Please don't make him.
噢 我知道应该怎么做 Oh, I know that feeling.
我的背扭到的时候 When my back goes out like this,
医生叫我要好好休息双脚 my doctor says that I should stay off my feet.
我要取消我去夏威夷的那班机票 I'm going to have to cancel
然后在这里待三天 Hawaii and spend the next three days here.
天哪 这玩意儿真耗电 Man, this thing drains your battery.
看见了吗 西格妮 See, Sigourney?
我给这个装了轮子 这样我们就能带你到处走了 I put this on wheels so we can push you around.
这可都是为你量身定做的哦 I made this just for you.
这可不是一个普通的轮床 这是西格轮床 It's more than just a gurney, it's a Sig-gurney.
你真有趣 You're funny.
我总算知道你和艾伦为什么这么合拍了 That must be why you and Ellen get along so well.
她也很有幽默感 She's always had the sense of humor.
不过 我抢走了美貌和智慧的基因 她也就只剩下幽默感了 Well, she had to because I had the looks and the brains.
不行 还在充电呢 艾芙莉 Nope, still charging. Avery,
我能跟你出去谈谈吗 can I speak to you outside for a moment?
我做不来 I can't do this.
我只做好了几小时不哭的心理准备 I was mentally prepared not to cry for a few hours,
不是三天 not three days.
我一直对你隐藏了点事 There's something I've been hiding from you...
我是个很情绪化的人 I can be a little emotional.
你觉得你一直隐藏着吗 You think you've been hiding that?
我忍不了三天那么久啊 I can't hold it together for three days,
艾芙莉 你也看见她有多难相处了 Avery, you saw how she was in there.
故意惹我生气 更糟糕的是 Pushing my buttons, and then adding insult to injury
她还在地板上被泥土滑倒了 by slipping in the mud on my floor.
我敢肯定是斯坦把泥土带进来的 I'm sure Stan tracked that into the house.
我会确保它不把其他事情弄糟 I'll make sure he doesn't mess anything else up.
我向你保证过 我给你的圣诞节礼物 I told you my present is to make things so great
是保证一切都无可挑剔 她揪不出你的毛病 你也不会哭 she'll have nothing to criticize, and you won't cry.
来 跟我说 我们赢定了 Come on, say it with me; We will win.
-我们赢定了 -有点斗志嘛 - We will win. - Come on!
把你那些情绪都用上 Say it with all that emotion you're full of.
-那些可都是消极情绪啊 -妈妈 - That emotion is usually negative. - Mom!
我们赢定了 We will win!
我都受伤了他们怎么还能在外面庆祝啊 How can they be celebrating when I'm in here injured?
看起来可能像是他们在庆祝 It may look like they're having fun,
但是他们跳都是在给你祈祷呢 but those are jumps of concern.
噢 错层式狗屋 Oh, split-level doghouse.
真贵 不过我可以把二层出租啊 Yeah, that's expensive. But I could rent out the second story.
他在这里 He's in here.
艾芙莉派我们来跟你谈谈 Avery sent us to talk to you.
怎么回事 What happened?
我跟你说过西格妮姨妈就要来了 I told you Aunt Sigourney was
我们要确保一切进行顺利 coming and we needed everything to be perfect.
你却踩了一屋子的泥脚印 Then you tracked mud in the house!
是我做的没错 没人能做了 That's right I did it. Nobody else did it.
这屋子里只有我一只狗狗 我会承担全部责任的 No other dog in this house. I take full responsibility.
是不是有只小狗在舔我的屁屁啊 There's a small dog licking my haunches, isn't there?
真可爱 He's so cute.
他是哪里来的 Where did he come from?
我把这只流浪狗接回来过圣诞节 但是他老是到处跑 I took in a stray for Christmas and he got out.
你叫什么 小家伙 What's your name, little guy?
我叫斯巴奇 My name's Sparky.
不是啦 我开玩笑的 他不会说话 Naw, I'm just kidding, he doesn't talk.
好吧 对于他弄脏屋子的事情 我也很抱歉 Look, I'm sorry he tracked in the mud.
拜托你们 不要告诉别人 Please don't tell anybody about him.
他们肯定不会留下他的 They'll never let him stay
尤其是西格妮姨妈还在这里 with this whole Aunt Sigourney thing going on.
我们不能让他孤孤单单地过圣诞节啊 We can't put him out alone on Christmas.
那样的话 我们就得为斯巴奇保密了 Then I guess we have to keep Sparky a secret.
应该不会有问题的 It shouldn't be too hard for
难道我们仨还保护不了一只小小的 the three of us to keep an eye on one little...
-什么情况 -别难过 - Seriously? - Don't feel bad.
在这栋房子里 我已经丢过很多蜥蜴 老鼠和蛇了 I've lost tons of lizards and rats and snakes in this house.
-什么 -什么 - What? - What?
妈妈 这个曲奇饼真好吃 一切都如此完美 Mmm. Mom, the cookies taste great, everything looks perfect.
西格妮姨妈一定找不出一点毛病的 Aunt Sigourney will have nothing to criticize.
你肯定能不哭着熬过来 You will make it through without crying.
你这么支持我 我真的觉得很开心 It's so beautiful you helping me like this.
就算是喜极而泣也算是哭哦 Tears of joy still count.
来 已经充好电了 Here, it's fully charged.
噢 这个力度果然更有效 Ooh, you upped the juice.
老爸 你怎么不把西格妮姨妈带进来 Hey, dad, why don't you bring Aunt Sigourney in
享受一下这些漂亮的圣诞装饰 here to enjoy the wonderful Christmas decorations?
然后他就一直求我 你是这世界上我见到过的 So he kept begging, you're the most fascinating,
最迷人 最漂亮的女孩子了 beautiful girl that I've ever met.
你今晚能陪我一起去吗 Would you go to this thing with me tonight?
直到最后我同意为止 Until finally I said yes.
你们在聊些什么 What are you guys talking about?
我只是在跟他说 I was just telling him about
那晚你舞伴来家里接你去舞会的事情 the night that your prom date came to pick you up.
那么 西格妮小姨 Hmm. So, Aunt Sigourney, do
你喜欢我妈妈做的圣诞装饰吗 you like the way my Mom decorated for Christmas?
挺完美的 对吧 It's pretty perfect, huh?
很好看啊 It's very nice.
做得好 老妈 你去了她的舞会 Way to go, Mom, you just went to her prom!
我的确去了 我护送她去的 I actually did, I chaperoned.
来 西格妮姨妈 尝尝这些圣诞节饼干 Here, Aunt Sigourney, try one of these Christmas cookies.
是我妈做的哦 My Mom made them.
对啊 是我做的 都是我做的哦 Yes, yes, I did. I totally made them.
-这是什么饼干 -巧克力饼 - What kind are they? - Chocolate.
姜饼 威化饼 脆饼 糖饼 Ginger-wafer-snap-doodles.
我刚刚看到斯巴奇往这边来了 I saw Sparky come this way.
我们得在他们发现之前找到他 不然他就会被赶走了 We gotta find him before they do or they'll kick him out.
伙计们 我们都在忙着和西格妮姨妈玩呢 Guys, we've been entertaining Aunt Sigourney.
-你们都去哪儿了 -我们在找小狗 - Where have you been? - Looking for the little dog.
我是说 我们的小狗狗 斯坦 Uh, our little dog. Stan.
我在为以后做准备呢 长大后我就可以叫他小狗狗了 I called him little because I'm practicing for when I get bigger.
我很快就会长大的 I am gonna grow.
至少她不会变小 这是肯定的 She's not getting any smaller, that's for sure.
妮妮 你还记得婚礼上的这两个小孩吧 Sig, you remember the kids from the wedding.
特勒 克洛 你们好啊 Taylor, Cleo, hello.
我们不叫这个 Those aren't our names.
那好吧 我不记得他们了 Then no, no. I don't remember them.
斯巴奇 Sparky!
什么 我的鞋子被咬了吗 What? Has my shoe been chewed up?
对不起 Sorry.
这是正常的举动吗 Is this behavior normal?
呃 在儿童心理学里面 没有什么是正常的举动 Well, in child psychology there is no normal behavior.
不过还是不正常 But no.
圣诞节快乐 噢 来 给您泰勒抱抱券 Merry Christmas. Oh, here, have a Tyler hug buck.
要多少张都行 In fact, have a few.
对啊 甚至来一场抱抱券雨都行 Yeah, I'm making it rain.
泰勒是谁 Who's Tyler?
怪不得小克洛得吃鞋子了 No wonder little Cleo eats shoes.
他在那儿 There!
就在那里 Over there!
艾伦 你的屈辱史又有新记录了 Ellen, this must be so humiliating for you.
斯坦 你怎么可以把一只流浪狗带回家 Stan, how could you bring a stray into the house?
西格妮姨妈或许会很严重地 Aunt Sigourney could have been seriously,
虽然也极具喜感地 受伤啊 albeit comedically, hurt.
我的热狗装饰也会受伤的 So could my hot dog ornament.
谢谢啦 艾芙莉 是你让我挂在后面 才保护好了它 Thanks, Avery, for keeping it safe on the back of the tree.
就像是你事先知道了一样 It's like you knew.
圣诞节就要到了 It's Christmas.
我不能把斯巴奇留在帕萨迪纳那无情的阳光冬日之中 I couldn't leave Sparky in the merciless sunny Pasadena winter.
艾芙莉 求你别让他自己过圣诞节 Avery, don't make him spend Christmas all alone.
对啊 我们自己也会有小小的庆祝典礼 Yeah. We were gonna have our own little celebration.
真温馨 斯坦 Well, that's very sweet, Stan.
我还在找一个松鼠头来当树顶装饰呢 I was looking for a squirrel head tree topper.
但是明天就到圣诞节了 看来不太可能找到了 But the day before Christmas, it's almost impossible to find.
而且 谁都不应该孤单地过圣诞 And no one should spend Christmas alone.
但是 斯巴奇 你不能就这样散漫地待在这里 But, Sparky, you can't stay on the loose in here.
这样一来 有这么多个气孔 All right, Sparky will be safe in here with all the air holes
斯巴奇就能够安全地待着 而且不会惹出麻烦了 and won't be able to get in any more trouble.
等到西格妮姨妈睡觉 We'll unwrap him and celebrate
我们就能放他出来 和他一起庆祝圣诞节了 with him once Aunt Sigourney goes to bed.
这应该放在圣诞树下吧 Shouldn't this be under the tree?
底下全湿了 It's all wet on the bottom.
一定是艾芙莉给我买了那支我想要的古龙香水 Avery must got me that cologne
看来香水都洒出来了 gift set I wanted and some of it's leaking. Hmm.
麝香味 Mmm, musky.
好的 你坚持住了 All right, you're hanging in there.
真不知道西格妮姨妈暴力而喜感地栽进圣诞树里的时候 I don't know how you didn't cry after Aunt Sigourney was hurled violently,
你是怎么忍住不哭的 albeit comedically, into the Christmas Tree.
不过 如果晚餐能够顺利进行的话 But if this dinner goes perfectly,
我们就一定能撑过这整个假期 I know we can make it through this whole holiday.
她看起来还不错 Well, she seems okay.
她很享受 She's having fun telling
到处说她偷走你头发的光荣事迹 stories about the time she stole your haircut.
她半夜悄悄地剪掉我的刘海 She cut off my bangs in the
然后贴到她的额头上 middle of the night and glued them to her forehead.
而且还很好看 And she looked good!
哦 最恶劣的日子也已经过去了 妈妈还好好的呢 Well, the worst is behind us. Mom is still standing.
从此以后 一切都会变得顺利起来的 And it's smooth sailing from here on.
就从老妈做的圣诞晚餐开始 Starting with the Christmas dinner Mom cooked.
你怎么能在这种紧要关头准备这么多食物 I'm just amazed you found a caterer at the last minute.
事实上我感恩节刚过就已经开始准备了 Actually, I set this up right after Thanksgiving.
-真的吗 什么时候 -就是刚过感恩节的时候啊 - Really? When? - Like right after.
我们还在急诊室的时候 While we were still in the emergency room.
好吧 谢谢你 我再次对感恩节发生的事情表示抱歉 Well, thank you. And sorry again about Thanksgiving.
-没事 -都过去了 - It's fine. - It's behind us.
总之 西格妮姨妈是不会在这顿晚餐里找到的把柄的 Well, there's no way Aunt Sigourney could criticize this dinner.
我知道 我应该不会哭的 I know. I don't think I'm gonna cry.
事实上 你觉得 算了 当我没说 In fact... do you think... naw, forget it.
怎么了 What?
搞不好这一回 我能让她哭出来 Maybe this time, I could make her cry.
圣诞节是充满奇迹的节日 Christmas is a time of miracles.
艾伦 这个萝卜汤真不错 Ellen, this carrot soup is actually pretty good,
我尝到了很多种味道 I'm getting a lot of flavor.
虽然我吃到了 Some of it is from the
奇怪的松针和树脂味 不过 pine needles and tree sap in my mouth, but...
我还能吃到一点萝卜 I'm getting a little carrot, too, so...
还不错 真的 Kudos, really.
谢谢 Thank you.
听到没 她夸我了 Did you hear that? I got a compliment out of her.
虽然这称赞包含了三种侮辱 It was couched in three insults and was for
而且她夸的还是我没做的事 不过我还是会接受的 something I didn't really do, but I'll take it.
我也吃到了松针味 I'm tasting the pine needles, too.
那是因为妈妈把汤端过来的时候 That's because Mom bumped
一头撞进了圣诞树里 into the tree carrying the soup to the table.
她居然连做好的食物都能搞砸 She ruined catered food.
小声点 西格妮姨妈还不知道呢 Shh! Aunt Sigourney doesn't know.
她喜欢这汤 She likes it.
把松针从汤里面拿出来就好了嘛 别说话 Just pull the pine needles out of your soup and be quiet!
哦 温馨提示 这不是西红柿 Oh, and, this isn't a tomato.
准备好吃火鸡了吗 Who's ready for turkey?
没尝过的都别出声 Wait till you taste it.
妈妈做的火鸡馅 Mom made the stuffing from
可是根据她百忙中自创的独家食谱精心炮制的哦 a recipe she came up with herself on the fly.
秘方是碎面包和浓浓的爱 My secret is torn bread and love.
玉米面包和浓浓的爱 Corn bread and love.
在享用主菜之前我有几句话想说 I just wanted to say before the main course that...
呃 在这个圣诞节 Well, this family,
我们家人都团聚在一起 真是 coming together like this on Christmas, it's very...
-真是让人感动 -谢谢 - It's moving. - Thank you.
不 我是说 火鸡在动 No, I mean it's moving!
斯巴奇 Sparky!
你见过这只狗狗 You know this dog?
-他是只流浪狗 -今天是圣诞节 - He's a stray. - And it was Christmas.
艾伦 他们说是你做的火鸡馅 现在我相信了 Ellen, they did say you made the stuffing. Now I believe it.
妈妈 不 别哭 你都坚持了这么久了 Mom, no, don't cry. You've come too far.
有什么好笑的 一切都变得这么糟糕 晚餐也搞砸了 What is so funny? Everything's been awful, dinner is ruined...
我都快哭了 I'm almost crying.
太好笑了 It's just so funny!
我们装着我们的圣诞节过得很完美一样 Us trying to pretend we have perfect Christmases.
但并不是这样 我们家有熊孩子们 We don't. We have kids
有奇怪的狗狗 有紧要关头才出现的混乱 and dogs and last-minute scrambling, and...
还有班尼特和他那份便宜又寒酸的礼物 还有我的黑暗料理 Bennett with his cheap, unromantic gifts and my awful cooking.
我家的圣诞节真是一团糟 Christmas around here is
但是 我就是深爱着这一切 a big loud mess and I love that about it.
无论如何 我们肯定有一件事没做错 Anyway, we must be doing something right,
因为我有一群 because I've got kids who
会把流浪狗狗带回家过圣诞的善良孩子们 will take in stray dogs for the holidays.
因为谁都不应该孤独地过圣诞节 Because no one should be alone on Christmas.
我还有一个会为我竭尽全力 And a daughter who will run
让我觉得我是个赢家的女儿 herself ragged just to make me feel like a winner.
好吧 我们都知道 Well, I think we all know
斯坦和斯巴奇晚饭吃什么了 what Stan and Sparky are having for dinner now,
谁想吃冰冻批 so who wants frozen piz...
萨 Zza.
-西格妮姨妈 -妮妮 你怎么了 - Aunt Sigourney? - Sig, what's wrong?
我就是圣诞节的流浪狗狗 I'm a stray dog on Christmas.
我恨这一切 一切 I have everything. Everything!
为什么我就不能拥有这些呢 Why don't I have this?
你想要这个 You want this?
也不用全年都这样 只要圣诞节 Maybe not all year long, but at Christmas...
不然你以为 Why do you...
我为什么要装作后被摔伤啊 Think I pretended to throw my back out?
-你是假装的 -就为了和我们呆久一点吗 - You were faking? - To be around us?
我总是努力让我的人生特别一点 I try so hard to make my life special...
或许我想要 Maybe the reason I have to...
变得特别的原因 就是我没有一个像你们这样的家 Be so special, is because I don't, have a family like this.
西格妮姨妈 你当然有 Aunt Sigourney, you do.
-我们成功地把她弄哭了 -圣诞节快乐 妈妈 - We did it, we made her cry. - Mm, Merry Christmas Mom.
我不喜欢拍自己的背 I don't like to pat myself on the back,
因为狗狗拍不了自己的背 which is good because dogs can't pat themselves on the back.
我可不是在抱怨谁的手能够到哪里的问题 Not that I'm complaining about who can reach where.
不过现在看来 一切都有一个美好的结局 But everything ended up working out great.
我一开始只是想给斯巴奇过一个美好的圣诞节 I wanted to give Sparky a nice Christmas...
结果我给了他一个比那更美好的结局 And I ended up giving him a lot more than that.
西格妮姨妈收养了他 Aunt Sigourney adopted him.
还给他改了名字 叫斯纳奇 And renamed him "Snarky".
（注：snarky意为“暴躁的，易怒的”）
事实上 那一晚 每个人都打开了自己的礼物 In fact everyone got to open a present that night.
祝大家圣诞节快乐 Merry Christmas everyone.