非專業人員譯製 本字幕僅供學習交流使用 Byミッチ
律師事務所 Law offices.
你知道當我長大後想要做什麼嗎 You know what I want to be when I grow up?
-什麼 -漁夫 -What? -A fisherman.
我要天天去釣魚直到我變成高富帥 I want to go fishing every day till I'm rich
這樣我才可以把家搬到監獄隔壁 so I can move right next door to the jailhouse,
就可以離媽媽近一點 so I can be close to my mommy.
她又因為毒品而被捕入獄了 She got arrested for drugs again, so she has to go back.
我很抱歉聽到這個消息 I'm sorry to hear that.
我媽媽的口氣聞起來簡直糟透了 My mommy's breath smells so bad
因為她嗨太多毒了 cause she smokes so much crack.
你覺得呢 What do you think?
我覺得? 你是指哪方面 What do I think? About what?
我媽媽的口臭 My mommy's bad breath.
說不定會好轉些 Maybe it'll get better.
謝謝 希望如此 Thank you. That helps.
是 沒錯 不謝 Derek Yeah. Yeah! Thanks for nothing, Derek.
Kimmie 你到底是怎麼了 What is the matter with you, Kimmie?
好了 走吧 我們得去看你的爺爺 All right, come on. We got to go see your grandpa.
不是爺爺 他是個瘋子 Not Grandpa. He's a kook!
喔 我的天啊 你個小騷貨 Oh, my goodness. You are limber!
嗯 嗯 嗯 Mmm, mmm, mmm.
唷 Phew.
-謝謝 -謝謝 -Thank you. -Thank you.
喔 太贊了 我覺得我認識她 Ooh, well, hello! I think I know her.
嗯... Mmm...
Zisman先生 Mr. Zisman?
Zisman先生 Mr. Zisman.
-Zisman先生 -嗯 -Mr. Zisman! -Hmm?
你好 Hi.
抱歉 我有些壞消息要告訴你 I'm, uh, afraid I have some bad news.
你的妻子 她因病情惡化 Your wife, she took a turn for the worse last night
在昨晚去世了 and, um, she passed away.
對此我感到十分抱歉 I'm so sorry.
噢 Oh!
我以為她永遠都不會死耶 I thought she'd never die.
我還有點事先走開一下 I'm going to let you process this,
你先緩緩心情 我待會再過來 好嗎 and, uh, I'll be back in just a moment, okay?
謝謝 謝謝你 醫生 Thank you. Thank you, Doc!
別誤會 我很傷心 但她確實是個脾氣暴躁的老太婆 Don't get me wrong, I'm upset, but she was a crabby old bat.
好吧 請節哀順變 Well, I'm sorry for your loss.
從上世紀90年代起 她就再也沒跟我嘿咻過了 She hadn't given me any nookie since the '90s.
所以只是為了發洩怨恨而已 And then it was only out of spite.
我想她是去了一個更好的世界 She's in a much better place.
我也有了一個更好的世界 And I'm in a much better place.
Leroy你聽到了嗎 我們自由了 Did you hear that, Leroy? We're free!
我自由了 I'm free.
你好 女士 Hello, lady.
太感謝了 Thanks a lot.
噢 Ooh.
好嘞 All right.
媽的 Shit!
噢 Oh.
呃喔 不不不... Uh-oh. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
女士 Miss.
先生 能幫幫忙嗎 能幫幫我嗎 先生 Sir, can you help me? Can you help me, sir?
我不期望你能理解這事 I don't expect you to understand,
但是我的小夥伴卡在自動販賣機裡了 but I have my penis stuck to the soda machine.
Gabriel 我被卡住了 Gabriel! I'm stuck.
你怎麼了 What's wrong?
我的小夥伴卡在自動販賣機裡了 My penis is stuck in the machine!
Gabriel(替上帝傳遞好消息給人類的天使的名字) 幫幫我！ Gabriel! Help me!
幫幫我 Gabriel Help me! Ah! Gabriel!
Gabriel!
先生 你能幫我嗎 先生 Sir. Could you help me, sir?
這老兄的小夥伴卡在自動販賣機裡了 This nigga's dick's stuck in the machine, yo!
請不要大聲宣揚 Please don't announce it!
這太他媽的丟人了 It's fucking embarrassing!
能不能別這樣大聲宣揚 Can you help me instead of announcing?
拜託 這一點都不好笑 Please! It's not funny!
這一點都不好笑 It's not funny!
救命啊 幫我一把 Help! Give me a hand!
-你能幫我嗎 -怎麼幫 -Could you help me? -What you want?
我現在的情況很糟糕 I'm in a bad situation.
我想把它拔出來 I gotta get unstuck!
能幫個忙嗎 Can you help?
輕輕的搖我的肩膀 Jiggle my shoulders.
輕輕的搖我的肩膀 嗷 嗷 Jiggle my shoulders. Ow! Ow!
-我幫不到你 -輕輕的搖我的... -Nothing I can do. -Jiggle my...
輕點搖 嗷 嗷 Jiggle! Ow! Ow.
喔 我的天 Oh, my God.
喔喔 他在試圖把他的小夥伴拽出來 Oh. Oh! He's trying to rip that dick out!
喔 出不來 Oh, no!
-停下 -快停下 老兄 -Stop! -Stop, man!
先生 Sir?
別... 它是拽不出來的 Don't... It's not going to come out.
操 Fuck!
不要這樣 別拉它了 Don't! Quit pulling on it.
我要把它... 喔 天啊 I got to get...Oh, God!
啊! Ah!
推我 推我 Push! Push!
天啊 快推我 God! Push! Push!
喔 天啊 喔 天啊 Oh, God! Oh, God!
你在找什麼嗎 You looking for something?
是的 我想要一套西裝 Yes, ma'am, I'm looking for a suit.
好的 Okay.
哇 怎麼稱呼你 Wow, what's your name?
-Judy. -Judy...
-很高興認識你 -你真漂亮 -Nice to meet you. -you are so beautiful.
-謝謝 -哇 美爆了 -Thank you. -Oh, my goodness.
我妻子剛剛去世 My wife just passed away.
真抱歉 I'm sorry.
沒關係 這並不是一場美好的婚姻 Judy That's all right. It wasn't the greatest marriage anyway, Judy.
所以我要從現在開始享受我剩下的時光 That's why I'm gonna take a little me time now, Judy.
-找點樂子 -嗯哼 怎麼樣 -And have some fun. -Uh-huh. See?
開玩笑的 我是說敲響警鐘 By fun, I mean banging the gong.
我可能老了 做不好飯菜 I might be too old to fry the rice,
不過我還能做蔬菜沙拉 肯定可以 but I can still chop the suey, that's for sure.
西裝的裁剪需要多久時間 How long does it take to do alterations?
嗯... 你急著要嗎 Um... Do you need a hurry?
嗯 葬禮在明天進行 Uh, the funeral's tomorrow.
喔 你要領帶嗎 Oh. Do you need a tie?
要的 夫人 Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am.
好的 你喜歡什麼顏色的領帶 Okay, what color the tie you likey?
嗯 各種顏色都喜歡 你選一條給我就行 Uh, I likey any color. You pick one out for me.
呃... 那邊那條不錯 Well... How about that one right there?
嗯 哪一條? 你是指這條嗎 Uh... Which one? You mean this one?
-對 就是那條 -這條看起來像綠色的 -Right there. Yes. -That looks like it's green.
-嗯 很好 -是嗎 確定要這條嗎 -Oh, that's very nice. -Yeah. Okay?
-這件襯衫多少錢 -65刀 -How much is that shirt? -Sixty-five.
-這件有很多刮痕啊 -給你六折 -That's a lot of scratch. -Forty per cent.
-六折 -這件有很多刮痕啊 -Forty per cent. -That's a lot of scratch.
-給你打六折 -那好 -So, forty per cent. -Yeah.
那裡是不是有只松鼠 Is that a squirrel right there?
喔喔喔喔... 對不起 對不起 對不起 對不起 Oh, oh, oh, oh. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
-你抓到我了 -是的 被我抓個正著 -You got me, you got me. -Yup, I got you good.
-你抓到我了 -是的 有你好看的 -You got me. -Yup, I got you over a felony.
-喔 老天 -坐下 -Oh, God. -Have a seat.
遵命 Yes, sir.
-不准離開這張椅子 -遵命 -Do not get up out of that chair. -Yes, sir.
我錯了 I apologize.
把你身上穿的給我脫了 Get my shit off.
脫掉? Get your shit off?
把襯衫 外套 褲子給我脫了 Get my shirt off. Get my coat off. Get my pants off.
褲子也要脫啊 I gotta take your pants off?
-你最好給我照做 -好吧 總感覺這樣不太好 -You better believe it. -Well, that sounds a little weird.
進裡面去 然後把那該死的褲子脫了 Go in here and get the damn pants off.
連褲子都脫 太不可思議了 You want me to take your pants off, that seems a little weird.
非常感謝各位今天能夠蒞臨 Thank you, kind people, for being here today.
我從沒想過我妻子的喪禮會有這麼多陌生人來參加 I never thought my wife's funeral would be filled with complete strangers
不過我們都比我們的朋友活得長久 but we've outlived all our friends.
我希望我的女兒和孫子能過來 但是... I was hoping my daughter and grandson could make it but...
她們沒來 They didn't.
所以 我特別感謝唱詩班和膳食供應方 So, I would especially like to thank the choir and caterers
還有在座的各位好人們 and all the nice people sitting before me.
謝謝你們 Thank you.
我多麼希望各位能夠看到年輕時的Ellie I wished you could have seen the young Ellie,
那個讓我墜入愛河的女人 the woman I fell in love with.
她就像我生命中的一道閃耀的光芒 She was like a flash of bright light.
一個能吸引眾多目光有著勻稱的臀部線條的公主 A callipygian princess who drew people to her like a magnet.
如果你們不知道勻稱的臀部線條是什麼意思的話 And for those of you who don't know what callipygian means,
那我就告訴你們 意思是她的臀部非常漂亮 it means she has a nice bottom.
-哇 -真的很棒 -Ooh. -She did.
真希望我有更多的時間陪伴著她 I wish I had more time with her.
真希望我們沒有在爭吵中浪費那麼多的美好時光 I wish so much of our time had not been consumed by combat.
真希望我之前能努力不讓爭吵發生 I wish I'd tried a little harder to make that happen.
但現在她已離去 Because she's gone now.
我們已共同書寫了活在這世上的篇章 And our history on this earth has been written...
寶貝 Baby.
嗨 親愛的 Hi, sweetie.
-嗨 老弟 -嗨 -Hi, buddy. -Hi.
坐吧 Sit.
這是我的女兒和孫子 This is my daughter and grandson.
我可以和你說幾句嗎 Can I have a word with you?
可以啊 但是喪禮才進行到一半 Yeah, I'm in the middle of something.
Billy 先在那邊坐一會 Billy, just stay there for a second.
我要跟你爺爺到外面談點事 I just want to talk to your granddad outside.
好的 媽咪 Okay, Mom.
抱歉 失陪一會 I'm sorry. Excuse me.
嗨 Billy Hi, Billy.
什麼事這麼重要 What's so important?
關於媽媽去世和所有的事情我感到很抱歉 Listen, I'm sorry that she's dead and everything,
但是我真的有很緊急的事要和你說 but I'm in some serious shit, okay?
-這次又怎麼了 -你得告訴他麥克風沒關 -What is it this time? -You tell him about the microphone.
別一上來就跟我那麼說 至少不是現在 Don't even start that with me! Not now!
好嗎 這不是我的錯 Okay? It wasn't even my fault!
那個員警 他給他裝了一個竊聽器 This cop, he's got a bug up his ass,
然後他們給我找了個公訴辯護律師 and then they give me this public defender
結果那律師是個蠢貨 然後... who's a fucking idiot! And...
先生 打擾一下 麥克風還開著 Sir, excuse me. The microphone is on.
拜託給我一點時間 就一點時間 Please, just give me a moment. Just give me a moment.
聽著 我違法了我假釋時說的話 Look, I violated my parole
現在條子要把我送進監獄 and now they're gonna send me to jail.
我只需要你帶著Billy過境 I just need you to take Billy across the country
這樣他就可以暫時待在他爸爸身邊了 好嗎 so he can be with his dad for a while. Okay?
什麼 What?
我現在不能帶著Bobby 我還在服喪啊 I can't have Bobby with me now. I'm in mourning!
他叫Billy Billy It's Billy. Billy!
我怎麼知道他叫什麼名字 How am I supposed to know what his name is?
你從來沒有帶他來看過我 You never brought him around!
就算你把他帶來了 他會尿在家裡的每一張床上 And when you did bring him around, he pissed every bed in the house.
我沒有尿床 I don't pee my bed anymore.
我現在不能帶著Billy I cannot have Billy with me now.
46年來我第一獲得自由 I am a free man for the first time in 46 years
我不能讓這小子再次毀了我的自由 and I can't be saddled with that cockblock!
那好 That's just fine.
我小的時候你從來都不在我身邊 You were never there for me when I was little,
所以我猜現在也沒差別 對不對 so I guess it's no different now, is it?
我要去和我媽媽說幾句 I'm going to talk to my mom.
非常抱歉 I am very sorry. Um...
現在我們的情緒都十分激動 Everyone's very emotional right now.
現在對我們家來說是個非常艱難的時期 It's a very difficult time for the family.
呃... 我不知道該說什麼 Uh... I don't know what to say.
寶貝 過來 那是你媽媽的... Sweetie, come here. That's your mother's.
她告訴我 現在這個東西歸我了 She told me I could have it.
把它給我... 給我... Give me the... Give it...
不要在大家的面前這樣子 不要在這時候做這種事 Don't do this in front of them! Don't do this right now!
別鬧了 Just stop...
-喔 不 -喔 我的老天爺啊 -Oh, no! -Oh, God! Jesus!
喔 不 Oh, no.
奶奶 Grandma?
-我愛你 -喔 寶貝 -I love you. -Oh, baby.
對不起 爸爸 Sorry, Daddy.
喔 寶貝 Oh, baby!
喔 我的天啊 Oh, my God!
快唱歌 拜託 唱詩班快唱點什麼 誰來幫幫忙 Sing! Please, choir, sing something. Somebody help.
快樂 快樂 快樂 樂在我心 Joy, joy, joy Down in my heart
樂在我心 樂在我心 Down in my heart, down in my heart
我有快樂 快樂 快樂 快樂 I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy
快樂在我心中長存 Down in my heart to stay
我有上帝的愛在心中長存 I've got the love of Jesus down in my heart
愛在我心 愛在我心 Down in my heart, down in my heart
我有上帝的愛在心中長存 I've got the love of Jesus down in my heart
愛在我心 愛在我心 Down in my heart to stay
我有快樂 快樂 快樂 快樂 I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy
快樂在我心中長存 Down in my heart to stay
操 Fuck.
我們要去哪 Where are we going?
我們來這用電腦和你老爹談點事 We're going here to get on a computer call with your dad
問他什麼時候來把你這熊孩子接走 to see when he's gonna pick your little ass up.
然後我找了個人來幫我們 And I got someone meeting us
和你老爹進行溝通 to help me and your father communicate,
讓他們看看我們相處得有多麼糟糕 seeing how we don't get along.
你是Zisman先生嗎 Are you Mr. Zisman?
-嗨 -我是Shirley Kreska -Hi. -Shirley Kreska.
-很高興見到你 Shirley -很高興見到你 -Nice to meet you, Shirley. -Nice to meet you.
你來找我有什麼事嗎 Well, tell me the purpose of the call.
他媽媽蹲號子去了 His mother is going to jail.
但她要我把他送去他爸爸那裡 But she wanted me to get him to his father.
關於他爸爸 我們之間有很多的問題 We've had lots of problems out of the father.
他是個很難溝通的人 He's nearly impossible to communicate with.
是要帶他去他爸爸那裡嗎 But is your goal to get him to his dad?
是的 是的 Yes, yes.
我現在就去用電腦連線他 I got him up on the computer now.
好了Chuck 這位是Shirley All right, Chuck. This is Shirley.
嗨Chuck 我是這裡的顧問 Hi, Chuck. I'm a local counselor,
我在這裡幫助你們雙方 and I'm just here to help the two of you
談談你們要達成的目標 reach whatever goals you want to reach
以及幫助你們雙方進行溝通 and just help the two of you talk together.
好的 Okay.
是這樣的 So, uh, Kimmie
Kimmie又挨蹲號子了 知道嗎 is going to jail again, all right?
一點也不意外 Doesn't surprise me.
所以 我要你來我這裡把Billy接回去 So I need you to come get Billy, like, from me.
你搖什麼頭 Why are you shaking your head?
因為現在對我來說是困難時期 Cause this is real bad timing right now for me.
我的生意上現在有很多問題 I'm having some problems with my business right now.
-好 -你的生意? -Okay. -Oh, your business, huh?
是什麼樣的生意 What business is that?
我是賣電腦的 I sell computers.
還賣電腦... 他連在載滿兵佬的火車上拉皮條都做不到 Sell... He couldn't sell pussy on a troop train.
喔 你說的實在是太沒下限了 Oh, that's a disgusting thing to say.
行了 這樣是解決不了問題的 Okay, but that doesn't help. That doesn't help.
沒錯 你說得對 You're right. You're right.
對不起 我辱駡了你 I'm sorry for insulting you.
你認真點行嗎 Are you serious?
糟透了 This is a disaster.
好了 Chuck All right, Chuck.
如果你不來林肯市 If you can't come to Lincoln,
那我就帶著他到北卡羅萊納州去找你 then I'll just bring him to you in North Carolina.
別 我可沒錢照顧那孩子 No. 'Cause I don't have money to take care of a kid.
我表第 他剛剛領了一個女兒 My cousin, he just had to take his baby girl,
然後國家每個月會給他600刀的撫養補助 and the state's paying him $600 a month for free.
你確定要把他帶到他父親身邊嗎 Are you sure you want him to go to him?
-他拿得到600刀? -一個月 -He's getting 600 bucks? -A month.
等等 他們在說啥 Wait, what are they saying?
她說 他可能因為撫養孩子而得到那些錢 She's saying possibly he could get money for keeping him.
我想我可能有辦法了 I think I can work something out.
我覺得如果Irving帶那孩子 I think that if Irving was to
來羅利市的話 我也許能照顧他 bring him here to Raleigh, I could take the kid.
如果不行的話呢 And then if it didn't work out...
只要每個月有600刀 那就沒問題了 600 bucks a month will make it work for me.
那... 你能保證 So... And that isn't guaranteed,
她說的都是真的嗎 what she just said. It's something
-這件事你得去調查一下 -不 不用 保證沒問題 -you would have to investigate. -No, no, it's guaranteed.
她說的不會有錯的 She's always right.
就這麼愉快的決定了 老兄 把他帶過來吧 It's a done deal, man. Drop him off.
好 那就星期天2點 All right, 2:00 on Sunday.
星期天下午2點 2:00 p.m. Sunday.
給力 兄弟 你真給力 Great, man. Great. Great.
那些可是我一半的身家 There goes like half my inventory.
你的生意真是碉堡了 What a wonderful business you have.
好的 Chuck 你姓什麼 Okay. Chuck, what's your last name?
Muskie.
-M-U-S-K-I-E -嗯 好的 -M-U-S-K-I-E. -M... Okay.
D-O-U-C-H-E(傻逼) 這樣拼才對 D-O-U-C-H-E is how you spell it.
耶 沒錯 F-A-G-O-T(娘炮) 這是你的姓 Yeah. That's right. F-A-G-O-T is your last name.
你兒子就在這裡 請你注意下 Your son's right here, if you don't mind.
再見 A-S-S-O-L-E(白癡) Bye, A-S-S-O-L-E.
鳥屎 蠢蛋 Shitbird, dummy butt.
走吧... 我們走吧 Let's just... Let's just walk away.
食大屌 Suck it.
"食大屌" 棒極了 "Suck it," that's nice.
食我大屌 Suck a bowl of dicks.
拜拜 老爸 Bye, Dad.
拜拜 Billy Bye, Billy!
拜拜 Bye.
嘿 Billy 如果有人拿刀威脅你的話 Hey, Billy, let me show you what you're going to do
我教你該怎麼制伏他 if somebody comes at you with a knife.
過來 Come here.
外面的那些籃子你還要嗎 Have any of those baskets down here that you have outside?
我想還是算了 I don't think so.
你不要了? You don't think so. You don't know?
別打攪我 老頭 我正忙著 Don't interrupt, grandpa, I'm busy.
如果有人拿刀威脅你的話 So if a guy comes at you with a knife...
你不在乎這些值多少錢嗎 You don't care about a sale?
我在乎啊 Yeah, I care about a sale.
但是我現在正在教我孫子怎麼制伏歹徒 But I'm trying to teach my grandson about knife fights.
而你卻在這喋喋不休 And you keep yapping. Jesus.
-你那什麼態度 -耶 你請自便 老頭 -Good attitude to have. -Yeah, keep walking, gramps.
好了 假設現在有個傢伙拿著刀威脅你 Okay, now, if a guy comes at you in a knife fight.
來 我教該怎麼做 就像這樣 Like, come at me, I'll show you what you do.
你這樣做就行了 That's all you gotta do.
你搶過他的刀 然後捅他的大腿 You take it and you stick it right in their thigh.
這樣他就沒辦法追你了 And then they can't run after you.
美女們需要買舒適的床嗎 You young ladies in the market for a nice bed?
-不了 -只需75刀 -No. -Seventy-five dollars.
這床有什麼特別之處嗎 What's special about it?
它帶有特別的振動功能 It's got that special vibrating feature.
你們懂的 You know what I'm saying?
你們想看一下它是怎麼運作的嗎 You want to see how it works?
不用了 No, thanks, honey.
在我妻子去住院之前 這床我們只用了兩個星期 My wife and I only had it two weeks before she went in the hospital.
喔 我很抱歉 Oh, I'm so sorry.
沒關係 沒關係 這床沒怎麼用過 That's okay, that's okay. It's barely been used.
-是嗎 -然後她就去世了 -Yeah. -And she passed away.
-喔 親愛的 這太讓人傷心了 -是啊 -Oh, dear. That's very sad. -Yeah.
其實也不是那麼傷心 她就是個婊子 但是... Well, it's not so sad, she was kind of a bitch, but...
天啊 Jeez!
我的老天爺啊 My goodness!
我只是實話實說 Well, gotta call a spade a spade.
那邊好像有人找麻煩 Well, there goes the troublemaker.
喂 你這是什麼態度 Well, what kind of attitude is that?
-跟你態度一樣 -你待我如何我待你如何 -Same type you have. -Same kind of 'tude you got.
哇 Wow.
先生們女士們 購物愉快 Mr. and Mrs. Happy.
這個怎麼賣 How much is this?
上面不是標有價格了嗎 Is there a price tag on it?
我沒看見... 有一個... I don't... There's a...
那是我妻子最愛的檯燈之一 That's one of my wife's favorite lamps.
-它非常漂亮 -是的 -It's very pretty. -Yes.
她去世了 呃... She died of, uh...
死於陰道癌 Vagitosis.
就像是口臭一樣 不過是下面的 It's kind of like bad breath, but the vagina.
這不是主要的原因 但... It wasn't the main cause, but...
-也沒起到好的作用 -嗯 -It didn't help. -Yeah.
真抱歉聽到這個消息 That's... I'm sorry to hear about that.
女士 你會買那個嗎 Ma'am, will you buy that please?
不用了 謝謝 我已經有一個了 No, thank you. I don't need it, I have one.
女士 你怎麼對一個8歲的孩子解釋"cockblock"是什麼意思 Ma'am, how do you explain what a cockblock is to an eight-year-old?
你能幫我解釋一下嗎 因為坐在那邊的就是個小"cockblock" Can you help me explain that? 'Cause that's what's sitting there is a little cockblock.
你是個好孩子 知道嗎 You are... You are good boy, remeber?
不 他不是 別聽她的 No, he's not. Don't listen to her.
他是個好孩子 He's a good boy.
如果你這麼喜歡他 那你就帶他回家 If you like him so damn much, you take him.
你喜歡這張椅子嗎 Do you like this chair?
還蠻酷的 That is pretty cool.
只賣25刀而已 It's only $25.
哇 真棒 Wow. That's nice.
這張床的價格也相當實惠哦 This bed's going for a pretty good price.
我都想躺下小睡一會了 I'd like to lay down and take a nap myself.
-我總是覺得疲憊 -嗯 -I'm tired all the time. -Yeah.
這是調節開關嗎 Is it one of those ones that adjusts?
是的 女士 它真的很棒 Yes, ma'am, it's really good.
當你在看電視的時候 It's one of those that kind of
可以調成坐立的模式 sit up while you're watching TV.
來 試一試 我要... Here, try, uh... I'll, uh...
試著調節一點點就好 Try to adjust it a little.
哇 Whoa!
哇 停下 Whoa, stop!
喔 我的天啊 Oh, my God!
哇 停下 我的老天啊 Whoa, stop. Oh, my God!
停下 快停下 哇 快停下 Stop, stop! Whoa, stop!
拔掉插頭 Unplug it!
喔 我的天啊 你想要了我的老命嗎 Oh, my God! What are you trying to do to me?
我只是推了一下這個小的按鈕 All I did was push the little button!
喔 天啊 關掉它 關掉... 我的老腰啊 Oh, God! Put it down! Put it... Cramp! Cramp!
啊 Ah!
拔掉了 It's unplugged!
喔 Oh.
拔掉了 我已經把插頭拔掉了 It's unplugged, I pulled the plug.
喔 我的天啊 Oh, my God.
把那邊那個插頭也拔掉 Unplug that thing over there, please.
我要下來 I'm getting off.
喔 天啊 Oh. Oh, God.
-讓我坐會兒 -我按了這個按鈕 -Let Grandpa sit. -I pushed the little button.
是他要我按這個按鈕的 He told me to push the button.
讓我坐會兒 Let Grandpa sit.
我覺得我的心臟病要發作了 我說真的 I think I'm going to have a heart attack. I really do.
好了 寶貝 這不全都怪你 Well, let's not make this all about you, honey.
喔 不 我是想說我不是故意的 Oh, no, no, I'm telling her. I'm not making it...
聽著... Look...
冷靜點 放鬆 沒事的 Just calm down. It's okay.
嚇屎我了 My breathing won't come back.
只要50刀 這床就歸你了 You can have the bed for $50.
不 我才不想要這床 No, I don't want that bed.
來了 Coming!
嘿 先生 你好嗎 Hey, sir, how are you?
是你這裡有張床需要我們搬走嗎 Do you have a bed we're supposed to pick up?
-是的 到裡邊來 -好的 -Right this way. -Alrighty.
我叫Irving 你是? My name's Irving, what's your name?
Tom.
Tom你好 到裡面來吧 Tom. How are you, Tom? Come on in.
這是我的孫子Billy This is my grandson, Billy.
-嗨 Billy 你好嗎 -嗨 -Hi, Billy. How are you? -Hi.
-怎麼稱呼你 先生 -我叫 James -What's your name, sir? -I'm James.
James你好嗎 快進來 到裡面來 James. How are you, James? Come on in. We're back here.
我妻子前幾天剛剛過世 And, um... My wife just passed away a couple days ago
然後在該死的殯儀館出了點小差錯 and the damn funeral home had a little misunderstanding.
你知道怎麼樣嗎 他們又把她送了回來 Like, you know what, "We'll just take her right back."
我想要把她裝進我的後車廂 因為我想要把她 We want to get her in my trunk, because we're gonna
葬在南邊的公路邊上 如果二位能夠幫我把她搬到車上 bury her down south a ways. If you could help me to my car
我會非常感謝你們 I would really appreciate it.
讓我... Let me just...
好吧... Okay, um...
先把她包起來 Just wrap her up.
我想那樣的話你就能很輕易的把她拉起來 I think it'll be easiest if you just pull like that.
我們結婚以後 她就像我菊花裡的淡淡哀傷 Yeah. She was a pain in my ass when we were married
而現在她走了卻還依舊如此 and she passed away, she's still being a pain in my ass.
把那邊抓好了 Just grab that right there.
James 能過來托住她的頭嗎 James, will you get the head?
對她紳士一點 Be gentle with her.
抓著這裡 James Here you go, James.
-抓好了 -上帝保佑 -Here you go. -Lord have mercy. Jesus.
就這樣 There you go.
別讓她摔下來 James Don't let her fall out of there, James.
好好把她抓牢了 Get a good hold on her.
喔 老兄 我們... Oh, man. We're, uh...
我得把這熊孩子送到他爸爸那兒去 We got to get this little boy to his father.
他的媽媽剛被抓去蹲號子 His mom just got thrown in jail.
我媽媽是個癮君子 My mom's on drugs.
主啊 保佑我 Lord have mercy!
感謝你們 我自己是不可能搬動她的 Thank you, boys. I couldn't carry her myself.
把她塞進裡面去 Just put her right in there.
我們用毛毯給她保暖 And, uh, we got blankets to keep her warm.
好的 小心點 All right, be careful with her.
好了 All right.
謝謝 謝謝你 James Thank you. Thank you, James.
過來 Billy Come here, Billy.
握著他的手 我們來念禱詞吧 Grab his hand. Can we say a prayer?
主啊 在這趟載著Ellie的旅途中 Lord, please look after Billy and I
請保佑Billy和我一路順風 on our journey with Ellie.
主啊 請關照這些人 And Lord, please look after these men because
因為他們十分的善良 they were very sweet
他們也許是某個犯罪團夥的 and they're also accomplices to probably what was
共犯 但是... technically a crime, but...
我們什麼都不會說的 We're not gonna say anything.
拜託 老兄你是在逗我嗎 Come on, man! Are you serious?
以你之名 阿門 In your name we pray. Amen.
阿門 Amen.
好了 All right.
我想問你一個問題 那床你還要不要搬走 Let me ask you a question, is the bed really going?
不 不是 我只是想找人幫忙搬她而已 No, no. I just needed help with her.
是嗎 Oh.
但是沒有人願意過來幫忙 But no one's going to come out...
如果你說的是"你能來和我一起幹犯罪的事嗎" No one's going to come out to help if you say,
會有人肯幫你那才叫見鬼 "Can you come help me commit a crime?"
因為沒人願意幫忙 所以咯... No one's gonna help. So...
這就是為什麼我不得不撒個小謊的原因 We, uh... That's why we had to tell a little fib.
我當然非常感激你們 我保證會守口如瓶的 But we surely appreciate it. And our lips are sealed.
-再會 -謝了 老兄 -Later. -Thank the men.
再見 Billy See you, Billy.
-謝謝 -夥計 謝謝你們 -Thank you. -Thank you, fellas!
再見 See you later.
願真主保佑你們 James 謝謝 God bless you. God bless you, James. Thank you!
謝謝犯罪分子 Thanks for the crime!
去收拾你的行李 我們得上路了 Now get your crap. We got to hit the road.
好嘞 All right.
爺爺 你覺得我們有時間去釣魚嗎 Grandpa, do you think we'll have time to go fishing?
別煩我 快給我滾車裡去 Don't worry me with that. Just get in the damn car.
希望你已經上過廁所了 I hope you went to the bathroom already.
-沒有 -沒有? -Nope. -"Nope"?
好吧 那你得憋住了 Well, you're gonna have to hold it.
我可以開空調嗎 Can I turn on the AC?
不行 No.
我可以聽廣播嗎 Can I turn on the radio?
不行 No!
我們來玩比誰最安靜的遊戲 Let's just play the quiet game.
我們可以去吃些東西嗎 Can we get something to eat?
你已經在吃住了 You're already eating.
但我還是很餓 But I'm hungry!
關我屁事 Whatever.
真想把你這個拖油瓶踢出車外 Anything to get out of this car.
哈嘍 美女 我得喂飽這個小混球 Hola, gorgeous! I gotta feed this little prick.
哇 她真是個小騷貨 對吧 我的老天啊 Ooh, she is muy bonita, huh? My goodness!
爺爺 看那個玩具 我可以騎它嗎 Grandpa, look at that ride! Can I go ride it?
-什麼 -我可以騎那個嗎 -What? -Can I go ride that?
可以 見鬼 Yes. Shit.
滾去騎吧 Scram.
謝謝 Thank you.
你叫什麼名 Ah. What's your name?
Gloria.
我的西班牙名叫El Mucho Ding-Dong(超級性變態) My Spanish name is El Mucho Ding-Dong.
它不動 It doesn't work!
喔 天啊 Oh, God.
-爺爺 -幹嘛 -Grandpa! -What?
這玩意不能啟動啊 This thing doesn't work!
那你想要我怎麼辦 What do you want me to do about it?
修好它 Fix it!
你沒看見我正在跟美女說話嗎 Can't you see I was talking to a lady?
有啊 但是 Yes, but look!
你有投幣嗎 Did you put money in there? God.
你試試看 它不動 Try it. It doesn't work.
喔 天啊 Oh, God!
神啊 God!
嗷 Ow.
動啊 夥計 Oh, man.
這該死東西壞了 Damn thing's broke.
-動起來啊 -你放了50美分硬幣 -Come on. -You put in 50 cents.
沒有 Nothing!
喔 哇 啊 Oh! Ow! Ah!
坐下 坐下 Sit down, sit down.
啊 Ah!
-喔 我沒事 -先坐下 先生 -Oh, I'm all right! -Sit down, sir.
坐 坐 坐 Sit, sit, sit!
爺爺 你沒事吧 Are you okay, Grandpa?
你看看都發生了什麼鳥事 Look what happened!
我的神啊 Jesus!
它就是不動啊 It didn't work!
你為什麼要叫我坐上去 Why'd you tell me to get in there?
你把商店毀了 You ruined the store.
你為什麼要叫我坐上去 Why'd you tell me to get in there?
因為我想讓你把它修好 'Cause I wanted you to fix it.
好吧 現在可修好了 Well, it's fixed!
先生 你能聽我說幾句嗎 Sir, would you please listen to me?
我希望你能先坐下來休息一會 I want you to sit down on a cushion until...
我會叫救護車來給你做個檢查 I want the ambulance to check you out.
聽著 這並不是你的錯 Listen, it is not your fault.
你沒有超過它的限重 你明白嗎 You are not over that weight limit. Do you understand?
什麼超重限制 What weight limit?
那個東西是沒有超重限制的 There's no weight limit on that thing.
嘿 我也沒有重量限制 如果你能明白我的意思的話 Hey, I don't have a weight limit either. If you know what I mean.
真不敢相信 你差點害我摔斷脖子 Unbelievable! You could have broke my neck!
我什麼也沒有做啊 I didn't do anything!
我不幹了 我不幹了 I can't do it. I can't do it.
-不幹什麼 -這件事 -Do what? -This!
我實在是受夠了 I can't do this.
我是說過把你送去熊爹那裡 I said I'd get you to your father's,
但我沒說怎麼送 but I didn't say how.
爺爺 我的腳麻了 Grandpa, my leg's falling asleep!
聽著 你個小混蛋 我不想開車載你了 Look, you little shitbird, I'm not driving you
而你年紀又太小不能自己搭長途巴士 and you're too young to ride the bus,
所以你給我閉嘴 so you keep quiet in there!
你需要幫忙嗎 You need some help?
-我自己可以 -好的 -I think I got it. -Okay.
-喔 我的天啊 -好了 -Oh, my goodness. -Okay.
-就這樣 -可以了 -Here we go. -Okay.
我想把這東西寄到北卡羅萊納州羅利市 I'm going to send this to Raleigh, North Carolina.
羅利市 好的 Raleigh? Okay.
寬18 Eighteen width.
呃... Uh...
-高47? -高47 -Forty-seven? -Forty-seven.
-高47 -嗯 -Forty-seven. -Yeah.
-該死 -好的 -Damn it. -Okay.
裡面是不是有什麼東西在動 Oh, there's something moving around in there.
真的嗎 Really?
-不 沒有 -沒有 -No. No. -No?
有什麼東西在箱子裡 There's something in that box!
沒有 No.
沒什麼東西在裡面? 但聽起來就是有的啊 There's nothing in the box? It sounds like it!
我是聽到有奇怪的聲音 但不是從箱子裡傳出來的 I do hear stuff in here, but it's not coming from there.
-好吧 我們可以拆開它嗎 -你介意我們拆開它嗎 -Okay. Can we unstrap it? -You mind if we unstrap it?
是的... 不介意 拆開它吧 Yes... No, let's unstrap it.
好的 Okay.
爺爺 我想噓噓 Grandpa, I got to pee.
操 What...
別出聲 Keep it down.
這是一尊雕像 我在裡面放了尊雕像 It's a statue. I have a statue in there.
它還帶有電或什麼的嗎 It still has batteries in it or something?
是的 它是還剩一點電 Yes, it has the batteries in it still.
好的 好的 Okay. Okay.
嗯 剛才可能是 Yeah, it's just one of those kind
你們撞到了其中一個按鈕 所以它... that you hit a button and it...
因為我們搖了一下是吧 So we shook it.
是的 沒錯 Yeah, yeah.
爺爺 我憋不住了 要尿出來了 Grandpa, I got to pee real bad.
它只是一尊雕像 It's a statue.
你確定嗎 Are you sure?
它被設置成那樣 它被設置成那樣 It was settling. It was settling.
好吧 沒事 Okay. All right.
我們能趕緊稱一下重嗎 因為我得... Can we get it weighed? Because I gotta...
你要走了? You gotta get out?
是的 我會感謝你們的 Yes, and I appreciate you girls...
你... Would you...
天啊 你在做什麼 God, what are you doing?
我們差點寄了一個大活人 We were shipping a human being!
喔 我的天啊 Oh, my.
天啊 Oh, my!
我們不能寄活人 We can't ship humans.
我試著把他送到他爸爸那裡去 I'm trying to get him to his father,
但是我不想再開車載他了 and I don't want to drive him.
喔 我的老天爺 Oh, my goodness!
-你叫什麼名 -Billy -What's your name? -Billy.
-你在Billy上學的時候接到他? -不是 不是 -You've had Billy for the school year? -No, no.
-他夏天的時候會回來嗎 -我今天才剛剛接到他 -And he's going back for the summer? -I just got him today.
你今天剛接到就想把他送回去? -你今天剛接到他!? -And you already want to send him back? -You got him today!
是的 我的妻子剛剛去世 Yeah, my wife passed.
-啊 很抱歉聽到這個 -你奶奶? -Aw! I'm sorry to hear it. -Your grandmother?
他愛你奶奶嗎 Did he love Grandma?
-不愛 -他不愛? -No. -He didn't?
如果你有見過生前的她 你就能理解我的感受了 If you'd have met her, you'd have felt the same way.
你覺得她是因為傷心而死的嗎 You think she died of a broken heart?
-心臟病發作 -我可以告訴你們她是死於... -Heart attack. -Well, I can tell you what she didn't die of.
喔 天啊 Oh, my.
到那邊會耗掉我一整晚時間 It'll get there overnight.
你知道嗎 You know that they're just gonna be
他是要把你當作貨物寄出去 throwing you around and everything, don't you?
行了 給我一支筆 我在上面標明"易碎的"就好了 Well, give me a pen and we'll write "fragile" on it.
你確定要這樣做嗎 Are you sure you want to do this?
你需要一張毛毯子嗎 You need a blanket?
-我們不能運送活人 -給我一張 -We can't ship a human! -I'll take one.
你們就當作不知道這事 You can if you didn't know this happened.
我不能把你當貨物運送 因...因為你是個活人 I can't ship you. You're... You're living!
我們該叫員警過來看看嗎 Should we call the police on them?
喔 不! 不要報警 Oh, no! No police.
幫我把他從箱子里弄出來 我帶他去就是了 Just help me get him out of the box. I'll take him.
該死的 出來 Shit! Come on.
該死的 一整天都耗在這車子上了 Been in this car all damn day!
我需要休息一下 I need a break.
我們要去哪裡 Where are we going?
爺爺要去bingo裡面玩一會 Grandpa's going to play a little bingo.
-我可以去嗎 -不行 -Can I come? -No!
他們不准讓小孩進去 Look. They don't allow kids
還有我想和妹子們聊天 and I'm going to be talking to ladies in there.
我不需要你來當電燈泡 And I don't need you cockblocking.
G-51.
N-42.
G-60.
我已經玩了好一會兒了 It's been a while since I've played.
很高興認識你 女士 祝你好運 Nice to meet you, ma'am. Good luck.
-祝你好運 -謝謝 -Good luck. -Thank you.
-我叫O.Z -O.Z -My name is O.Z. -O.Z.!
-O.Z -好的 -O.Z. -All right!
我可以作弊嗎 Can I cheat off you?
B-2.
G-46.
O.Z 不如我們不要玩這個了 O.Z., what do you say we blow this joint
去外麵食我的大屌怎麼樣 and go play strip bingo outside?
算了吧 Stop it.
這該死的塗鴉筆...喔 That damn dauber's not... Oh.
該死 漏得我滿手都是墨 God damn it. Done spilled everywhere.
N-62.
停止比賽 停止 Stop the game. Stop!
喔 天啊 Oh, my gosh!
喔 Oh.
我覺得這墨汁有點難喝 I think this shit's done gone bad.
喔 天啊 Oh, my God!
他剛剛喝了塗鴉筆的墨汁 He just drunk the dauber shit.
喔 老兄 你不能這樣做 Oh, man! You can't do that!
見鬼 不要喝 Hell, no!
好噁心 Yuck.
停下 Stop.
停下 Stop!
別停 見鬼 繼續! Stop? Hell, keep going!
你弄得大家都範噁心了 You're making everybody sick.
別這樣 別這樣 No, come on, come on!
讓我們繼續這該死的遊戲 好嗎 Let's go back to the damn game, all right?
天刹的 你們這些傢伙搞得我想喝一杯了 God damn! You guys are driving me to drink!
我要來一杯 I need a drink.
我這兒有瑪格麗特(一種雞尾酒) 誰想來一杯瑪格麗特 I got a damn margarita! Who wants a margarita?
O.Z 一半是給你的 O.Z., half of this is for you.
來點餘興節目怎麼樣 How about a little fun, people?
不好意思 先生 能幫我系個鞋帶嗎 Excuse me? Sir? Can you tie my shoe, please?
好的 當然可以 Yeah, sure.
-你結婚了嗎 -嗯 -Are you married? -Yeah.
你的婚姻幸福嗎 Are you happily married?
嗯 應該還行吧 Yeah, I guess so.
為什麼這麼問 Why do you ask?
我想找個新爸爸 I want a new dad.
是嗎 真抱歉 Oh, do you? Yeah, sorry.
你叫什麼名字 What's your name?
Dan.
嘿Dan 我有個主意 Hey, Dan, I got an idea.
我來當你的新孩子怎麼樣 How about me being your new kid?
呃... Um...
我不知道耶 這真是一個不簡單的問題啊 I don't know if it's really quite that simple.
知道嗎 你真的不能... You know, you can't really, uh...
為什麼 Why?
你不能隨隨便便的就說要當別人家的孩子 知道嗎 You can't really trade kids between families, can you?
你當然可以啊 老爸 Sure you can, Dad.
知道嗎 當我在國外 You know, when I was overseas,
想叫雞的時候 她們會 when you would sleep with a prostitute, they would
在你的老二上面滴幾滴檸檬汁 squeeze lime juice on your schmeckle
以此來檢查你是否有性病 to see if you had any diseases.
如果你┗|｀O′|┛ 嗷~~ 的大叫 And if you went, "Ow!"
就表示你有性病 因為傷口會很疼 It means you got something, 'cause the cuts burn.
我從來沒有┗|｀O′|┛ 嗷~~ 過 但是中過一次標... I never went, "Ow!" But one time.
當然現在已經解除警報了 It's all cleared up now, though.
女士 已經解除警報了 Ma'am, it's all cleared up.
-好 -好的 -Oh, okay. -All right.
為了向你們證明我的清白 Just to prove to you I don't have anything, ladies,
我現在要在我的老二上面 I'm gonna squeeze this lime juice
來幾滴檸檬汁 on my schmeckle right now.
喔 我的天啊 Oh, my God!
好的 Okay.
為什麼不看過來 要來咯 要來咯 Why resist? Watch this. Here it goes. Here it goes!
啥狀況都沒 啥狀況都沒 Nothing. Nothing.
我啥病都沒 這就是免費的廣告 I got nothing. That is free advertising right there.
如果我的老二有一丁點的刺痛感的話 It did sting a little when it got to my bunghole though,
我會告訴你們的 I'll tell you that.
這是我們之間的小秘密 That's just between us girls.
我必須這麼證明 I'm gonna have to have that checked out.
G-37.
中了 Bingo!
哈哈 我中了 Ha ha! Bingo!
我中了 Bingo!
誰能過去檢查一下是不是真中了 Can someone check that bingo for me, please?
你安靜點 你安靜點 You hush. You hush.
你也安靜點 You hush, too.
不 我不會 我是年長者 我可以說話 No, I won't. I'm a grown man. I can talk. I can talk.
我可以說話 I can talk.
搬弄是非的傢伙 Tattletales.
不可能會中的 因為我們沒有N 那麼遊戲繼續 The bingo is not possible because we have no N, so we will keep playing.
操蛋 Well, shit!
G-53.
你爸爸怎麼了 What happened to your dad?
嘿 老爸 Hey, Dad.
嗯 你爸爸怎麼了 Yeah, what happened to him?
-不 你才是我老爸 -嗯哼 -No, you're my dad. -Hmm?
來擊個掌 老爸 High five, Dad.
下麵 太慢了 Down low. Too slow.
你是跟誰來這裡的 Who are you here with?
你啊 我的新爸爸 You. My new dad.
呃 我不是你的新爸爸 但是... Well, I'm not your new dad. But...
你挺逗的 You're funny.
呃... Um...
嘿 老爸 看著我的眼睛 Hey, Dad, look at me in the eye.
看著呢... Like...
我愛你 I love you.
算了 我得走了 Anyway, I need to, uh...
我還有點事要做 所以 你自己小心 I got stuff I have to do, so, uh... Be safe.
愛你唷 老爸 Love you, Dad!
喔 她來了 Oh, here she is!
我在這兒 你要買些22嗎 Here I am. You want to buy some 22s?
-22是什麼 -你想要的22 -What are 22s? -You wish you was 22.
在我看來有36D了 They look like 36Ds to me.
沒有 No.
沒有? 那也有36C了 No? 36 full Cs.
哪位元需要一些22 22s, that's what they are!
我可以借筆用用嗎 Can I use your pen?
可以啊 小甜心 Yes, you may, sweetheart.
你好嗎 All right! How you doing?
還好 Okay.
知道嗎 你很性感 You know, you're pretty sexy.
謝謝 Thank you.
我是說真的很性感 I mean really sexy.
我... I...
我得把這個拿去那邊 I have to take this up there.
好吧 All right.
你叫什麼名字 甜心 What's your name, sweetheart?
喔 A.T.Field全開(被無視了) Oh, I'm getting froze out.
你在bingo裡有贏到錢嗎 Did you win any money at bingo?
沒有 No.
你不應該喝那麼多 You shouldn't drink so much.
閉嘴 Pipe down!
喔 天啊 Oh, God.
你知道你到底有多重嗎 Do you have any idea how heavy you are?
你知道我根本就不想鳥你嗎 Do you have any idea how I don't give a shit?
我們要去哪裡 Where are we going?
就這樣一直往前走就對了 Just keep going straight.
-你累了嗎 -嗯 -You getting tired? -Yeah.
你是個酒鬼嗎 Are you an alcoholic?
不 我不是酒鬼 No, I'm not an alcoholic.
就算你是我也不會感到意外 I wouldn't be surprised if you are.
你的廢話太多了 Just had a couple too many.
前進 前進 Onward! Onward!
喔 我們去吃點東西 Oh, let's get something to eat.
左轉 Make a left.
好了 去那邊 不對 Billy Okay. Go here! No, Billy!
你太重了 It's heavy.
把我推到那邊去 推那邊去 No, push me this way. Push me this way.
Lisa 過來看這個 Lisa! Lisa, come look at this.
他醉了還在喝啤酒 He's drunk, and he's drinking beer.
喔 他帶的是6支裝的 Oh, he got a six-pack.
推我 Push me.
哈嘍 Hello?
我們想買些吃的 We'd like some food.
好的 你需要點什麼 Okay, what you need?
雞肉 Chickens.
雞胸肉 Chicken breast.
只要是胸部就行 Any kind of breast.
先生 你需要幫忙嗎 Sir, you need some help?
是的 我需要些服務 Yes, I need some service!
好的 那你得...我們會幫你 Okay, well, you got to...We'll get you served,
我得把你推到那邊 我會把食物拿出來給你 I need to push you over here. We'll bring it out to you.
你必須先得離開這裡 Need to get you away from here.
讓我把你推到旁邊去 好嗎 Let me push you over to the side, okay?
你可以鬆開手嗎 Can you let go of the thing there?
我要把你推到旁邊去 I'll push you over to the side.
-好的 但是... -你還想要什麼 -Okay, but... -What do you want?
你們這有啤酒賣嗎 Do you guys serve beers?
沒有 我們不賣啤酒 No, we don't serve beer.
那有威士卡嗎 How about whiskey?
呃 沒有 我們也不賣威士卡 Um, no, we don't have whiskey, either.
先生 你們有什麼東西可以醒酒的嗎 Sir, what do you have that's good in there for a hangover?
吃的嗎 我覺得吃點油膩的食物還不錯 To eat? I mean, greasy food is always good.
要醒酒 你得讓他睡一覺 But a hangover? Sleep. He got to sleep it off.
老兄 窗戶邊上的那個女孩 Man, that girl working the window,
她看起來很騷耶 she was nice-looking.
-她看起來很騷? -嗯 -She's nice-looking? -Yeah.
好吧 你在這裡休息一會兒 Well, you just chill out here for a minute.
我去問問看有沒有人能幫你 We're gonna see if we can get you some help.
好的 我需要一隻雞 Okay, we need some chickens
然後好好的爽上一發 and a big side of poontang.
雞? 裡面有好幾隻 The poontang? There's some inside.
好啊 我要一隻 去幫我釣一個過來 Well, I want some to go. Go hook that up.
他纏上Lisa了 He's stuck on Lisa.
這就是他想要的 That's what he want.
-黑美人嗎 -Lisa -Black bush gal? -Lisa!
他說他想要來一發 He said he wanted poontang.
他看上你了 He'll hook you up!
什麼 不 不行 What? No, he don't.
不好意思 甜心 Excuse me, honey.
他在那裡發春 That's what he's hollering.
他想要操你 Lisa That's what he wants, Lisa.
說真的 讓我死掉算了 Honest to God, strike me dead.
Lisa 那傢伙應該有80歲了吧 Lisa, that man is 80 years old.
我轉過身後在心裡暗想 I turned around and I said,
"他說的和我心裡想的是同一件事嗎" "Did he say what I thought he just said?"
你最好出去一下 You better go out there.
他可是個卡在購物車上的80歲騷老頭耶 He is 80 years old in a shopping cart.
讓他休息一會吧 Cut the man a break.
你知道"Siempre avante"是什麼意思嗎 Siempre avante. Know what that means?
不知道 No.
萬丈高樓平地起 Onward and forward.
你知道 車輪上的橡膠比鞋跟上的橡膠跑得快 You know, rubber on wheel is faster than rubber on heel.
那是Lightnin' Hopkins說的 That's what Lightnin' Hopkins says.
你知道誰是Lightnin' Hopkins嗎 You know who Lightnin' Hopkins is?
不知道 No.
那科莫多巨蜥呢 你知道那是啥嗎 What about Komodo dragons? You know what those are?
不知道 No.
你知道Johnny Cash是誰嗎 You don't know who Johnny Cash is?
不知道 No.
那你問我什麼是喜劇的秘訣 Ask me what the secret of comedy is.
什麼是... What is...
時機 懂不 Timing! Get it?
啥 What?
不好笑嗎 That's not funny?
不覺得 No.
呃 真難搞 Ugh. Tough room.
我喜歡這首歌 I love this song!
你好像有點... Uh, you're kind of...
癲癲的 Weird.
狗雜種 Dirty bastard!
喔... Oh...
你還好嗎 You okay?
喔 天啊 Oh, God.
喔... Oh...
你沒事吧 爺爺 You all right, Grandpa?
嗯 我沒事 Yeah, I'm all right.
我被顏射了 Caught me right in the puss!
你需要冰敷嗎 You want some ice?
需要我去弄些冰塊給你嗎 You need me to get some ice for you?
嗯 也許有冰塊會好些 Yeah, maybe some ice.
我那該死的妻子躺在... My damn wife put these in here and it...
嗷 Ow!
你有看到她的"三角州"嗎 Did you see the tuchas on that one?
嗷 Ow!
要我拿個購物籃子嗎 Should I get a basket?
不用 我們才不需要那東西 No. We ain't gonna need one.
你想吃這麵包嗎 You like white bread?
嗯 Yep.
好 Good.
唔... 你在做什麼 Um... What are you doing?
拿點這個 Just go with it.
我們會因為這樣而惹上麻煩嗎 Are we going to get in trouble for this?
不會 如果有人說了啥的話 你就告訴他 No. If someone says anything, just tell them
你爺爺老年癡呆了 that your grandpa's old and doesn't know what he's doing.
你要火雞肉還是火腿 Ooh. You want turkey or ham?
火腿 Ham.
火腿 Ham?
好的 All right.
給你 Here.
一大包 Get you a lot.
我們去弄些該死的芥末 Let's get some damn mustard.
來 Here.
-一大坨芥末 -吃掉它 -That's a lot of mustard. -Eat it!
唔 Mmm.
吃快點 這樣我們就不會被抓了 So I eat it quick, so we don't get caught.
先生 Sir.
怎麼了 What's going on?
-怎麼了? -對啊 -What's going on? -Yes.
你在這到處亂吃 You eating everything here.
-你還沒付錢耶 -什麼 -You don't pay yet. -Huh?
你在店裡亂吃東西 可是你還沒付錢 You eating things here in the store and don't pay yet.
-他拿了這個 -請別生氣 -So he took that one. -Please don't get mad.
什麼 Huh?
他拿了這個 He took this.
-而你把它放在那裡 -沒有 -And you put it there. -No.
有 我看到了 監控也拍到了 Yes, I saw. It's in the camera.
沒有 No.
那好 Okay.
請別生我爺爺的氣 Please don't get mad at my grandpa.
他老年癡呆 他不知道自己在做什麼 He's old and he doesn't know what he's doing.
怎麼了 What's going on?
我這是在哪 Where am I?
你知道他在做什麼 You know what he's doing, baby.
你不但知道他在做什麼而且還有樣學樣 You know what he doing and you doing it with him.
有時候他把翔拉在自己身上 Sometimes he shits himself.
不 你拿了這個 No. You took that one.
有時候他坐著就像個嬰兒似的 And sometimes he sits in it like a baby.
我沒有把翔拉在身上 你個小混球 I don't shit myself, you little prick.
-有時候他還會尿床 -你把這些東西給拆封了 -Sometimes he pisses the bed. -Okay, you opened these...
-我沒有 -你有 -Do not! -Do, too!
-我沒有 -你拆開了火腿包裝袋 -Do not! -You opened the ham
而你又沒付錢 and you don't pay.
-可以把他的... -關門放狗 -Can I have his... -Close the doors.
我要去報警了 I'm gonna call the police.
可以把他的巧克力牛奶拿回來嗎 拜託了 女士 Can he have his chocolate milk back, please, ma'am?
呃 Ugh.
他們不會注意到的 They won't notice a thing.
反正它平時也是這個狀態 走 That's how it looks most of the time anyway. Come on.
我們走 Come on.
走快點 走快點 Let's go quick. Let's go quick.
過來 走這邊 Come on. Let's go this way.
喂... Oh! Uh...
謝謝惠顧 下次還來 Thank you!
戴那帽子 戴那帽子 Get the hats! Get the hats!
快點 快點 Come on, come on!
快點 Come on!
-你們在做什麼 -哇 哇 -What are y'all doing? -Whoa, whoa!
哇 哇 哇 哇 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
-這個3.99刀 -站住 -It was $3.99! -Stop!
別這樣 Yeah. Come on!
你們哪都不能去 You're not going anywhere!
別跟著我們 別跟著我們 Leave us alone! Leave us alone!
不行 你們哪都不能去 No. You're not going anywhere.
嘿Billy 上車 快啟動引擎 Hey, Billy, get in! Start it up!
員警不會把小孩從你身邊帶走的 They're going to take that child away from you.
我還真希望他們這麼做 I wish they would!
-給我進裡面去 -對不起 -Get back inside! -I'm sorry.
你他媽給我進裡面去 Get your ass inside!
女士 真的非常對不起 Ma'am, I'm sorry.
真是對不起 對不起你個鬼啊 You are sorry! You're sorry as hell!
不 我並不是... No, I'm not gonna...
你在吃你偷來的東西 You're eating what you stole!
那你要我怎麼辦 What am I supposed to do with it?
付錢 You buy it!
-你快付錢 -如果我有錢的話我會付的 -You pay for it. -If I had money, I would.
你有足夠的錢來到這裡 You had enough money to come in here
還光天化日之下大膽行竊 and the audacity to try to steal from me.
話說 這東西還蠻好吃的 These are pretty good, by the way.
我才懶得鳥你 I don't give a shit.
你他媽吃掉的那些東西是我的 I ought to stuff it down your damn throat.
你生氣的樣子真是漂亮 You're very pretty when you're mad.
你惹毛姐了 後果很嚴重 You're pissing me off!
你生氣的樣子真是可愛 You're very lovely when you're mad.
你惹毛姐了 後果很嚴重 You're pissing me off.
好了 下車 All right, come on.
嗨 Hi.
好了 All right.
-好重 -嗷 -Okay. -Ow!
我抓穩了 I got her.
啊 上帝... Ah, Jesus...
走吧 我的神啊 Here we go. Oh! Jesus.
沒事 她已經死了 It's all right. She's already dead.
什麼 What?
是的 她死了好幾天了 Yeah, she died a few days ago.
我們把她搬到房間裡 這樣對死人尊敬點 We're just bringing her in 'cause it's respectful.
我不想把她留在後車廂 Don't want to leave her in the trunk.
好了 All right.
把她丟那邊去 Oh! Get in there!
喔 媽的 Oh, shit.
爺爺要出去散散步 你乖乖待在房間裡 Grandpa's going out for a walk. You stay in the room.
待會見 騷老頭 See you later, old man.
給我乖乖待好了 該死的 Stay in there, damn it.
那是我孫子 My grandson.
嘿 你知道這附近有沒有 呃... Hey, you don't know where any, uh,
類似脫衣舞俱樂部之類的地方 like, dance clubs or anything like that are?
比如 有很多黑美人之類的 Like, with lots of, uh, black ladies.
是有那麼一家 叫... Oh, there's one on, um...
Richard Boulevard.
-真的嗎 -嗯 -Yeah? -Yeah.
我真的超愛 I'm really fond
-黑美人 -嗯 -of the black ladies. -Yeah.
在我還年輕氣盛的時候 Yeah. They used to call me Jizzy Gillespie
-她們稱呼我為Jizzy Gillespie -喔 是嗎 -when I was younger. -Oh, yeah?
嘿 你給我滾回房間裡 Hey, get in the room!
一絲不掛 寂寞女士狂歡夜 春宵一夜值千金 NO COVER, Ladies Night!! One night only
哈嘍 你好嗎 Hello. How are you?
哈嘍 妹子們 Hello, ladies!
嘿 老爺爺你個騷貨 Hey, grandpa, how you doing?
你好嗎 寶貝 Good! How you doing, baby?
好耶 All right!
哇 Wow.
嗨 甜心 哇 你看起來好騷耶 Hi, sweetheart. Wow, you are nice-looking!
謝謝 Thank you!
給我來杯Colt45啤酒 謝謝 Can I get a Colt 45, please?
他把他的黑長直拿出來玩耶 He's got his jim dog out.
那玩意就該這樣玩 That thing's about like that!
嘿 老兄 這是其中一種脫衣舞秀嗎 Hey, big boy! Is this one of them stripteaser shows?
是的 他是男的 Yeah, it's males.
太贊了 That's perfect,
因為我想要在她們饑腸轆轆的時候伸出援助之手 because I like to catch these women when they're soggy.
所以 你們今晚做了件好事 So you boys do a good job tonight,
-知道嗎 -好的 -all right? -Okay.
讓她們都欲火焚身 Get them all hot and bothered,
這樣我就可以趁虛而入 and I'm gonna try to swoop in
-得到我想要的了 -好 好 -and get me a little. -Okay, okay.
你也是舞者嗎 Are you one of them dancers?
是的 Yeah, I am.
我敢打賭你的棒棒糖也挺大的 對不 I bet you got a pretty big Tootsie Roll, huh?
老兄 你在說啥 Man, what the fuck?
什麼 What?
你他媽離我遠點 飛機佬 Get the fuck away from me, man.
我是說 如果你是一名舞者... But I mean, if you're a dancer...
真抱歉 我只是... 對不起 抱歉 I'm sorry, I was just... I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
妹子們 你們在這裡玩得開心嗎 How are you ladies doing down here?
還不錯 你呢 Fine. How are you?
好 好 我是自個兒來的 Good, good. I came here alone,
如果我有打擾到你們的話我很抱歉 so I'm sorry if I'm bothering you.
你來這裡做什麼 What made you come in here?
不知道 我散步散到這裡來了 I don't know. I was walking,
-呃 從街上... -散步 -uh, down the street... -Walking?
你這散步略屌啊 You weren't walking nowhere!
你想做什麼 看秀還是看我們 What you gonna do, watch it or watch us?
我當然是來看妹子們的 I came to watch you girls.
當你們變得欲火焚身時 You ladies are gonna get all worked up,
你們會希望騷爺爺Irving來幫你們 and then hopefully old Irving can swoop in there.
你叫什麼名 What's your name?
Irving.
說不定有些小姐會想服務一下Irving Maybe some of these ladies will want a serving of Irving,
你懂我說的是什麼意思不 if you know what I'm saying.
這樣就對了 謝謝 謝謝你們 麼麼噠 That's right. Thank you. Thank you, mama!
下一個猛男即將登場 If you're ready for the next entertainer,
一起和我大聲說"我要" everybody say, "I am!"
我要 I am!
我愛黑巧克力 I love chocolate!
他那條比馬蹄鐵還硬 He's harder than a horseshoe!
那你的有多硬 How hard are you?
我可能略失雄風 I'm pretty loose right now,
但我或許可以喚醒沉睡的雄獅 but I could probably get it going.
我們想看看你的小夥伴 我們想看你在紅毯表演 We want to see yours. We want you to walk the red carpet.
你們想看我的小夥伴? You want to see mine?
到紅毯上去吧 Walk the red carpet.
現在我要讓她看看我的小夥伴 I'll show her mine right now!
到紅毯上去吧 我們會給你撒錢的 We're gonna make it rain. Walk the red carpet.
我這就去 我這就上紅毯去 I'm gonna go... I'm going to walk the red carpet.
耶 我要搖搖我的小夥伴 Yeah, I'm gonna shake it!
我根本不知道發生了什麼鳥事 I don't know what the fuck is going on.
喔 喔... Oh, oh...
什麼 What?
你好 你有看到我的爺爺嗎 Excuse me? Have you seen my grandpa?
你的爺爺 Your grandpa?
我覺得他迷路了 他有點腦殘 I think he's lost. He's kind of an idiot.
他為什麼腦殘 Why is he an idiot?
因為他迷路了啊 'Cause he's lost, duh.
他帶有手機嗎 Does he have a cell phone?
他現在可能喝醉了 He's probably drunk right now.
他昨晚去了脫衣舞俱樂部 He went to a strip club last night.
小朋友 我不知道該對你說什麼 喔 天啊 I don't know what to tell you, son. Oh, gosh.
你好 你好 Excuse me? Excuse me?
去你的 Screw you.
你找誰 Who you looking for?
我找我的爺爺 I'm looking for my grandpa.
你爺爺不在這裡 Your grandpa's not here.
他在包廂裡嗎 Is he in the Champagne Room?
那裡沒有任何人 There's nobody in there.
-讓我看一下 -不行 -Let me check. -No.
就讓我看一下嘛 Let me just go check.
我說了沒人 I told you.
這孩子有點毛病 他說他想要進裡面去 He's like, persistent. He wants to go in there.
他說得挺上道的 And he's talking about having a great time
他有點早熟 in the Champagne Room like, he's like, 21.
怎麼了 What's up?
-這裡是間成人書店嗎 -是的 -Is this an adult bookstore? -Yeah.
我的爺爺在裡面嗎 Is my grandpa in here?
不在 No.
你有沒有... Is there somebody, like...
你有沒有監護人 Is somebody, like, watching you or something?
沒有 No.
你那件衣服是在Tramps R買的嗎 Did you get that shirt at Tramps R Us?
什麼 What?
你那件衣服是在Tramps R買的嗎 Did you get that shirt at Tramps R Us?
-不是 -喔 -No. -Oh.
-你幾歲了 -8歲 -How old are you? -Eight.
你叫什麼名字 What's your name?
Billy.
你是什麼時候到這裡的 When did you get here?
你這脫衣舞娘問了好多問題喔 You're asking a lot of questions for a stripper.
-你的藝名叫什麼 -什麼 -What's your stage name? -What?
你跳脫衣舞時的藝名叫什麼 What's your stripper stage name?
我沒有藝名 我也不是脫衣舞娘 I don't have a stage name. I'm not a stripper.
那我叫你"小肉桂"好了 I'll just call you Cinnamon.
-小肉桂 -哈哈 -Cinnamon? -What?
我看起來像個脫衣舞娘嗎 I look like a stripper?
是的 天生跳脫衣舞的料 Yeah. In a good way.
-天生跳脫衣舞的料? -喔 我的天 -In a good way? -Oh, my...
不如你先在這等我 Why don't you wait on me and I'm gonna come, like,
等下我帶你去你住的旅館 take you to whatever hotel you're at?
你不能獨自一個人在大街上瞎轉 You don't need to be out here by yourself.
這樣你可能會遇到麻煩 You're gonna, like, get hurt.
要知道 大街上的都是一群瘋子 There's a bunch of crazy people out here.
顯然 你爺爺也是個瘋子 Apparently, your grandpa's one of them.
拜拜 小肉桂 我得走了 Bye, Cinnamon. I got to go.
不 還有我不是小肉桂 No. And I'm not Cinnamon!
你好嗎 How you doing?
煎熬的一夜 Rough night.
爺爺 你到哪裡鬼混去了 Grandpa! Where have you been?
別提了 Not now.
我好驚啊 I've been worried!
奶奶的屍體要怎麼辦 What're we gonna do with Grandma's body?
鬼才知道 I don't know, buddy.
我們之前有討論過這事 We met with someone to discuss that,
但是你奶奶 but your grandma,
她在那天不是很合作 she wasn't very cooperative that day.
她說了一些廢話 Just said some nonsense about
說什麼要把她從橋上丟下去之類的蠢話 throw her off a bridge for all she cares.
你知道女人喜歡什麼嗎 You know what a woman likes?
一條新釣竿 A new fishing rod?
不對 No.
是魔術 Magic!
我可以證明給你看 你想看嗎 I can prove it. You want to see?
-想 -好的 -Sure. -All right.
哈嘍 女士 你願意讓一個老人 Hello, ma'am. You wouldn't flatter an old man
表演個魔術給你看嗎 by watching him do a magic trick, would you?
很好 仔細看好了 Oh... That's good. All right, keep your eye on the...
我會讓它消失 I'm going to make it disappear.
免費的表演 No charge, either.
好的 Okay.
因為我也沒有錢 'Cause I don't have any money.
就這樣 它消失去哪了 There we go! Where'd it go?
-在你的袖子裡嗎 -不在 -In your sleeve? -No.
-有什麼東西在你的大拇指裡 -什麼 -What's that on your thumb? -What?
看 Look.
把它給我 Will you give me that?
哈哈 Ah.
你為什麼不閃邊去 Why don't you beat it?
但我想待在你旁邊 But I want to stay with you.
你為什麼不閃邊去 Why don't you beat it?
爺爺我要把妹啊 Grandpa's got to talk to some tail.
他... He's...
他就是個煩人的小屁孩 He's a little cooter stretcher is what he is.
你是本地人嗎 You, uh... You from this town?
是啊 本地土著 Yeah. Born and raised.
本地土著啊 你真是美瞎了我的24K鈦合金狗眼了 我的神啊 Born and raised. You're awful pretty. My goodness!
謝謝 Thank you.
像你這樣年輕漂亮又可愛的小姐 A beautiful young lady like yourself,
我有些東西要送給你 I have something for you.
喔 老天爺 Oh, Lordy.
來咯 你人真好 Here we go. You're, uh, so kind.
-這給你 -謝謝 -There you go. -Oh, thank you.
這送給你了 它帶有我獨特的香味 Those are for you. They're specially scented.
我也這麼覺得 I bet.
你有時間陪陪像我這樣的老人嗎 You got time for an old man like me, maybe?
我們可以談天說地或到處逛逛 We can blow this garmooshky and go chase around a little.
今晚我不行 Not tonight I don't.
-今晚不行? -是的 -Not tonight? -No.
你現在是在午休嗎 You on a lunch break?
是的 Yeah.
你結婚了嗎 You married?
嗯 Oh, yeah.
喔哇 是真的"結婚"嗎 Oh, boy. "Married" married?
真的結婚了 嫁給了一個佩槍的員警 "Married" married to a gun-toting police officer.
-喔 天啊 你運氣太好了 -再會 -Oh, God! Of all the luck. -There you go.
-好吧 祝你愉快 -再會 -All right, good times. -See ya.
拜拜 Bye.
我在女人身上花的錢要是都存下來的話 If I had all the money I spent on poontang,
你知道我會怎麼花嗎 you know what I'd do with it?
怎麼花 What?
還是花在女人身上 Spend it on poontang.
一 二 三 四 準備開始拇指大戰 One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war.
一 二 三 One, two, three,
四 五 六 four, five, six,
七 八... seven, eight...
拜託 你是個左撇子 Come on, you're a lefty.
你應該能贏我的 You can be stronger than that.
我試試看 我試試看 我試試看 I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying.
因為按著我的手指太靠前了 我使不上勁 It's because you're holding it so close to the edge.
-哈嘍 -嗨 -Hello. -Hi.
我看到你和我的孫子在玩 I see you have met my grandson.
嗯 Yeah.
我是Irving Oh. My name is Irving. Oh.
我是Lisa I'm Lisa.
你叫什麼名... What was your name...
她是美國人 你不用鞠躬啦 She's American. You don't have to bow.
-什麼 -你有個怪怪的爺爺 -What? -You have a weird grandpa.
你去哪了 Where'd you go?
是你叫我閃邊去的 You told me to beat it
因為你要把妹 'cause you were gonna talk to some tail.
喔... Oh...
我是說我要... I said I was... To...
我是說我要去寄一些郵件 I was going to beat it to go deliver some mail.
喔 神啊 Oh, jeez.
你比波多黎哥人還要性感火辣 You are hotter than a Puerto Rican picnic.
喔 謝謝 Oh, my God, thank you!
-非常感謝 -喔 我的神啊 -Thank you so much. -Oh, my goodness!
你有照顧過大男孩嗎 You babysit big boys?
有啊 I do, yeah.
我說的大男孩是指像我這樣的 I mean big boys like me.
-喔 沒有 -是嗎 -Oh. No. -No?
當然沒有 Definitely not.
喔 好吧 Oh, well.
孩子 你有失有得 You win some, you lose some, kid.
-很高興認識你 -再見 拜拜 -Nice to meet you! -See you. Bye-bye.
-哇 -拜拜 -Wow! -Goodbye.
這個拒絕比往常來得慢 That was a slower no than I usually get.
你總算有點用了 You may be useful after all!
你還會玩猜謎遊戲啊 You ever play charades?
喔 喔... Oh, oh...
不好意思 Excuse me?
我爺爺不太能說話 My grandpa can't talk that well,
但是他說你非常漂亮 but he says you're very beautiful.
謝謝 非常感謝 Thank you. Thank you so much.
唔 那個 我得走了 Uh... Okay. I need to go.
我得走了 我的天啊 I need to go. Oh, my God.
我爺爺想知道你結婚了沒有 Grandpa wants to know if you're married!
不好意思 我爺爺想對你說點什麼 Excuse me, my grandpa would like to say something.
他想知道你願不願意聞他的手指 He wants to know if you want to smell his finger.
不不不不不不不 No, no. No, no, no. No, no. No, no.
他想知道你等下有沒有時間 He wants to know if you're doing anything later.
帶只老母雞去送貨 Takes an old hen to deliver the goods.
我是被拒絕了嗎 Is that a no?
-我是被拒絕了嗎 -老母雞湯滋陰補陽 -Is that a no? -Old chickens make good soup.
唔 Um.
我爺爺不太能說話 My grandpa can't talk that well,
但是他說你非常漂亮 but he says you're very beautiful.
嗯 Hmm.
你怎麼知道他想說什麼 How do you know that's what he said?
他說什麼 What did he say?
他說你讓他再次感到青春洋溢 He says you make him feel young again.
嗯 嗯 Mmm. Mmm.
你是真知道他想說什麼呢 Do you know what he's saying,
還是說你在胡編亂造 or are you just making stuff up?
我知道他想說什麼 I know what he's saying.
他是不是經常這樣瘋瘋癲癲的 Does he seem crazy to you sometime?
是啊 Yeah.
不好意思 Excuse me!
你好 Okay.
他想知道這附近哪裡可以買到英雄三文治 He wants to know where we can get a hoagie around here.
英雄三文治 A hoagie sandwich.
呃... Um...
英雄三文治 Hoagie sandwich.
不好意思 Excuse me.
他說你看起來是個漂亮的猶太人 He says you look like a nice Jew.
不不不不 No, no, no, no...
喔 他說你的鞋子很漂亮 Oh, he says you have very nice shoes.
-謝謝 -嗯 棒級了 -Oh, thank you. -Yeah, nice.
我們只是... Oh, we're just, uh...
我們只是在這附近逛逛 We're just, uh, clowning around. I'm trying to
我試著教他怎麼搭訕女生 teach him how to hit on women.
好的 那我能理解剛剛是怎麼一回事了 Oh, okay. I can kind of see what was going on.
-他的天賦怎麼樣 -你非常有天賦 -How'd he do? -You did very good.
-謝謝 -不客氣 -Thank you. -You're welcome.
他很可愛 他是我的孫子 He's sweet. He's my grandson.
是嗎 Okay.
是的 Yes.
他晚上8點就要洗洗睡了 所以... He goes to bed around 8:00 p.m. or so. So, uh...
在那之後 我還挺閑的 After that, I'm pretty much free.
不 不行 我現在已經不是單身了 No, I'm not... I'm not in the market right now.
你知道 我... You know, I...
我可能因為太老而硬不起來了 I might be too old to stir the gravy,
但是我還可以當個"小舔心" but I can still lick the spoon,
我確定以及肯定 that's for damn sure.
好吧 祝你好運 Well, good luck.
好吧 Oh. All right.
-我們就在這裡 -好的 -We'll be right here. -Okay.
再見 甜心 All right, sweetie.
幹得好 夥計 Good job, buddy.
你有親過妹子嗎 Have you kissed a girl yet?
有啊 Yeah.
她是你的馬子嗎 Was she your girlfriend?
是啊 Yeah.
你們交往多久了 How long did you go out with her?
一天 A day.
一天... A day...
一天? A day?
聽起來很像你爺爺 That sounds like some of my relationships.
爺爺 Grandpa!
哇 Whoa!
真他媽的擋道 Get that damn thing out of the way!
我的耶穌啊 Jesus Christ!
你們為啥要把一隻企鵝擺在我的車道上 Why would you put a penguin right in my driving spot?
擋你的路? 先生 這是綠化帶啊 In your... Sir, there's a curb there.
車道在那裡還有那裡 The driveways are there and there.
聽著 小姐 給我滾開 Look, lady, get off my back!
我是個老人 I'm an old man.
"顧客就是上帝"的道理你沒聽說過嗎 What happened to "the customer's always right"?
聽過 但你開車碾企鵝就是不對的啊 Yeah, but you ain't right about running over the penguin.
為啥有人要把一隻企鵝擺著我的車道上 Why would they put the penguin in my spot?
你開車把企鵝給碾了 You ran over the penguin.
你把企鵝擺著我的車道上 You put a penguin in my spot!
你開車把企鵝給碾了! 你到底在說啥 You ran over the penguin! What are you talking about?
好吧 你也不用對我吼這麼大聲啊 Well, you don't have to yell at me.
我可以下車嗎 Can I get out?
給我待在車裡 Billy Stay in the car, Billy.
你待車裡看好戲 And watch this.
你不能... 聽著 老兄 你哪都不能去 You can't... Look, buddy. You're not going anywhere.
你得把那東西修好 其他的我不管 You're fixing the thing. That's all I'm telling you.
我要去吃東西了 Oh, I'm going to eat.
你哪都不能去 You're not going anywhere.
小心那只企鵝 先生 Watch out for the penguin, sir!
沒關係 我有看到 No, I see it.
你撞壞企鵝了 You already hit the penguin.
聽我說 你得把那只企鵝修好 老兄 Listen to me, you're going to fix that penguin, bro.
不管你願不願意 Whether you like it or not,
你必須把它修好 believe me, you're gonna fix it.
沒門 Nope.
我意思是說 我願意修的話我才修 但是... I mean, if I was fixing it, you'd see me fixing it, but...
我就是不想修 I'm not fixing it.
你有沒有注意到我是有多不爽去修那企鵝(多大的仇?) Did you notice how I wasn't fixing it?
我要打爆你的菊花 I'm about to bust your ass.
企鵝的菊花嗎 Over a penguin?
你他媽的離企鵝遠點 老兄 Fucking leave the penguin alone, bro.
我真他媽想抽你 傻逼 I'm about to whip you, motherfucker. Up your ass, bro.
你知道我現在想做什麼嗎 You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get your doober.
喔 喔 我抓到了一隻鮑魚 Oh. Oh. I got your doober.
我抓到了一隻鮑魚 I got your doober.
-我把鮑魚給吃了 -你他媽怎麼拿到駕照的 -I ate your doober. -You shouldn't be fucking driving anyway.
-你個操蛋的八旬老頭 -我抓著他的鮑魚 -Your fucking 85 years old. -I got his doober.
上帝快告訴我他不是個人 Thank God that wasn't a human being.
我抓著他的鮑魚 他很生氣 I got his doober and he's mad.
我真他媽想... Okay, I'm gonna fucking...
喔 吃我一記重重的肘擊 Oh! Atomic elbow! Atomic elbow!
我年輕的時候玩過摔跤 I did a little wrestling myself in my younger days.
你他媽在逗我嗎 老兄 Are you fucking kidding me, bro?
什麼? 打我? What? Atomic elbow!
你他媽在逗我嗎 Are you kidding me?
我年輕的時候幹過 I loved that duo with the butcher when I was younger.
你他媽在逗我嗎 老兄 Are you fucking kidding me, man?
你沒看見嗎? 這是我的必殺技 Why? It's an atomic elbow.
哇 Wow.
這個看起來很像你雙腿間的駱駝趾 That looks like the camel toe in your pants!
呼哈 Hoo-hah!
懂嗎 我是說你有個逼 Get it? I said you had a vagina.
這個就是你的逼 That's a vagina reference.
你得把這該死的企鵝修好 You're gonna fix this fucking penguin,
我才不管你願不願意 你懂沒 whether you like it or not. You understand?
等等 我要說的是... One second. I'm gonna say it...
不修 就是不修 Am not, am not!
你得把這該死的東西修好 You're gonna fix this fucking thing.
沒門 沒門 Nope, nope.
你得捫心自問"我有小夥伴嗎" You gotta ask yourself, "What leverage do I have?"
沒有 Not much!
你他媽就是個飛機佬 你知道嗎 You're a fucking jerkoff, you know that?
"你得把企鵝修好" "You're gonna fix that penguin!"
"不 你才要把它修好" "No, you're gonna fix it!"
"你來修" "You're gonna fix it!"
"不 是你" "No, you're gonna!"
兩位嗎 Table for two?
是的 Yeah.
好的 這邊請 Okay. Right this way.
我想把她的企鵝修好 I'd like to fix her penguin.
想知道我能把我的臉弄得多紅嗎 Want to see how red I can get my face?
嗯 Yeah.
喔 停 停 停 Oh, stop, stop, stop!
我的天 Oh, my God.
比猴子的屁股還紅 That was redder than an ape's ass.
嘴巴放乾淨點 Watch your mouth.
抱歉 Oh, sorry.
比猴子的臀部還紅 That was redder than an ape's tuchas.
你要多點牛奶嗎 Do you like a lot of milk?
要啊 Oh, boy, do I!
有時候我想要巧克力牛奶 I like chocolate milk sometimes.
嗯 爺爺我也有相同的喜好 Yeah, Grandpa's got a taste for that, too.
嗯 Yeah.
他習慣來點重口味的 He used to have a big taste for it.
為什麼我媽媽不喜歡我 Why doesn't my mom like me?
你媽媽喜歡你的 老弟 Your mom likes you, buddy.
那她為什麼要離開我 Then why'd she run away from me?
呃... Well...
你媽媽只是有點事要做 不得不暫時離開你 Mom's got to go away for a little bit, and so...
所以我會帶你去你爸爸那裡 讓他照顧你 I'm taking you to your dad so he can look after you.
但是我真心不喜歡我爸爸 But I don't really like my dad.
嗯 我也不怎麼喜歡他 老弟 Yeah, I don't like him much either, buddy.
-美女 -什麼事 -Angel. -Yes.
把耳朵堵住 Billy Earplugs, Billy.
把耳朵堵住 Earplugs.
你什麼時候下班 What time do you get off?
-9點整 -好的 -9:00 o'clock. -All right.
-好的 -好的 -All right. -All right.
前凸後翹的太棒了 Check out the rear bumpers on that one.
-唔 飯菜如何 -還不錯 -Mmm. How's your food? -Good.
你放了多少黃油在上面 How much butter you gonna put on that?
我吃這個 I'm eating this one.
-你生吃它? -嗯 不行嗎 -You eat it raw? -Yeah, why not?
我的天啊 Dear God.
我覺得 I think
爺爺要來個響聲炮了 all this bacon is getting to Grandpa.
剛剛是你放的屁嗎 爺爺 Did you... Did you just toot, Grandpa?
那是壁虎的叫聲啦 That was a church house creeper.
我想我也要來一發 I think I got one.
我覺得你把翔給噴褲子上了 I think you need to clean out your shorts.
真噁心 Beat that.
我有點鬧肚子了 Grandpa's tummy's hurting.
別憋著了 Let it out.
我要來一發大的 Try this one on for size.
-天啊 -呃 爺爺 -Oh, God. -Ew, Grandpa,
你噴翔了 you sharted!
抱歉 I'm so sorry.
我的天... Oh, my...
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
抱歉 女士們 不要... I'm sorry, ladies. Don't...
不要往後看 真的很抱歉 Don't look back there. I'm so sorry.
天啊 那是... Oh, God, that's...
我們走 老弟 Let's go, buddy.
喔 不 Oh, no.
那老頭子站在椅子上 That guy stood up on the chair part
然後翔就噴到牆上了 and pooped on the wall.
-他什麼 -他把翔噴在牆上 -He what? -And he pooped on the wall.
投得好 很好 再來一次 Oh, good shot. Good... Take it again. Take it again.
太棒了 Oh, Jesus.
你想看看我的本事嗎 All right. You want some of this?
為什麼我就不能和你待在一起 而非要去我爸爸那 Why can't I just stay with you instead of my dad?
因為那是計畫外的事 'Cause that's not the plan.
我們可以改變計畫 We can change the plan.
這樣如何 如果我投進了這球 How about this? If I make this shot,
我就待在你身邊 不去我爸那裡了 I get to stay with you instead of my dad.
好啊 All right.
滾蛋吧 Get that out of here!
我們要怎麼樣才能去 How about we become tuna fishermen
日本打金槍魚 and then move to Japan?
喔 孩子 Oh, boy.
我們開個海鮮店 We'll get a fish market
然後把所有的金槍魚賣了 這樣我們就變成億萬富翁了 and then we sell all tuna and we'll be billionaires.
地球人都知道日本有好多的金槍魚 There is lots of tuna in Japan, that's for sure!
這是我有生以來聽過的最棒的主意 That's the best idea I heard in years, son.
你喜歡釣魚嗎 老傢伙 Do you like to fish, old man?
我以前也很喜歡釣魚 但那是過去的事了 I used to like to fish a lot, but that was before.
什麼過去 Before what?
那是一段黑歷史 Before a dark day when
當時我抓到了我的大白鯨... I caught my very own Moby Dick.
哇 Whoa!
天啊 Jesus!
哇 Whoo!
操 Shit!
喔 老天爺啊 Oh, Lordy! Lordy!
誰來幫幫忙 A little help!
老兄 Oh, man!
來看看這只超級大屌魚 Check out the nine iron on this one.
喔 Oh!
天啊 Oh, God.
喔 臥槽 Oh, shit.
那是啥 那是啥啊 What is that? What is that?
這是只超大號的屌魚 It's a large-nose carpet croaker!
好吧 Yeah. Okay.
從那以後 我就再也不吃魚了 After that, I never ate fish sticks again.
爺爺 我肚子餓了 Grandpa, I'm hungry.
你知道嗎 我突然靈光一閃 You know what? I may have a solution.
你確定這是個好主意嗎 Are you sure this is a good idea?
當然確定 Of course it is.
你會要什麼有什麼 You can get away with most anything,
你只需要 all you got to do is try.
聽我的指揮 Follow my lead.
好了 各位 可以在這給大家來一張照片嗎 Okay, folks, can we get a picture here with everyone?
大家可以往後退一點嗎 Can everybody back up on this side a little bit?
往後退幾步就行 Just kinda take a couple steps back.
繼續退 再退一點就好了 Keep going, just a little bit more.
看看這個 Look at this.
真是漂亮 This is lovely!
哇 Wow.
看那個 Look at that.
-很漂亮 對吧 -嗯 -It's pretty, right? -Yeah.
先生 你可以站到旁邊去嗎 Sir, can you back up out of the way?
我正在拍照 I'm trying to take a picture.
哇 哇 哇 Oh, oh! Oh!
快幫幫他 Help him!
你還好嗎 爺爺 Are you okay, Grandpa?
啊 Ow!
我的天啊 Oh, my God!
是誰補的刀 Who pushed me?
不知道 我覺得是你自己跌倒的 I don't know. I think you just fell.
唔 Mmm.
拿去 幫你買了點早餐 Here. Got you some breakfast.
真好 Sweet!
好了 All right.
唔 今天星期幾 Hmm. What's today?
星期六 Saturday.
看來我們還能在多鬧點事 Bet we could've stirred up some trouble here.
該死 我明天得把你丟到你爸爸那裡去 Damn shame I got to drop you at your dad's tomorrow.
管他吖的 我們繼續找樂子去 Oh, the hell with it! Let's go have some fun.
你想要看魔術表演嗎 Would you like to see a magic trick?
我需要一張20刀紙幣拿來當道具 I need a $20 bill as a prop.
我待會再把它還給你 And I'll give it right back to you.
天靈靈地靈靈... Allakazoo, allakastid...
拿錢跑路咯 孩子 Grab the stuff... Let's beat it, kid!
快點 快點 Come on! Come on!
你在做什麼 你還傻愣著做什麼 過來 What are you doing? What are you waiting on? Come on!
-爺爺 車子 -哇 哇 哇 哇 -Grandpa, the car! -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
和爺爺幹一杯 Have a sip of beer with Grandpa.
哇 Whoa.
小孩不應該喝酒 'Cause he should not be drinking.
爺爺 我他媽喝醉了 Grandpa, I'm fucking wasted.
哎喲喂 Whoops!
你搞毛啊 What the hell was that?
你個熊孩子 You little cooter stretcher!
不要 No!
勒你的小雞雞 Wedgie, wedgie!
你衣服上的是什麼 What's on your shirt?
該死的 Damn it. Ah...
好嘞 我的小夥伴 Okay, my little wingman,
今晚你去睡大床 why don't you take the big bed tonight?
-這是你應得的 -謝謝爺爺 -You deserve it. -Thank you, Grandpa!
安靜點 我得睡個好覺 Settle down, now. We got to get some sleep.
我們明天得去羅利市 We got Raleigh tomorrow.
晚安 Billy Night, Billy.
爺爺 明天我們可以去釣魚嗎 Grandpa, can we go fishing tomorrow?
也許吧 Maybe.
保證喔? Promise?
是的 我保證是也許 Sure, I promise maybe.
我覺得我要放屁了 Oh, I think I hear a flock of geese!
我的天啊 我覺得我把翔拉在身上了 Oh, my God, I think I just shit myself.
晚安 老弟 Good night, buddy.
我一點也不想去我爸那裡 I don't want to go to my dad, though.
呃 我... Well, I...
你得去 我不能... You got to. I can't...
留你在身邊 Keep you.
我不能做任何事都帶著你啊 I just can't do anything with you right now.
但是我確信你老爹可以做好這事 But I'm sure your father will, uh, do the right thing.
我兒子的爺爺要把他帶到我這裡來 My son's grandfather is dropping him off.
但我已經有三、四年沒見過我兒子了 I ain't seen the boy in three or four years.
-所以 你懂的... -真的嗎 -So, you know... Yeah. -Really?
是我老婆把他從我身邊帶走的 She took him away from me, okay,
因為她生我的氣 所以她就帶走了我兒子 'cause so she could get, you know, whatever, 'cause she got mad at me.
子女撫養費會要了你的老命 Child support. Child support'll kill you.
猜猜如何 現在我可以領撫養費了 Guess what? Now I'm getting the child support.
你明白我的意思嗎 You got any speed?
-嗨 老兄 你好嗎 -嗨 老兄 -Hey, man. How you doing? -Hey, man.
-我是Chuck -我是Patrick -I'm Chuck. -I'm Patrick.
-很高興認識你 -很高興認識你 -Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.
嗨 那是啥 Hey, what's that...
-喔 幹 -你說什麼 老兄 -Oh, fuck, man. -What's that, man?
"GOC"是什麼意思 那是啥 What's up with the "GOC," man? What's that, man?
兒童守護者 老兄 Guardians of the Children, man.
喔 Oh.
那就是G.O.C的意思 That's what G.O.C. stands for.
扯淡啊 那到底是什麼意思 No shit. Well, what does that mean?
我們是... We're a...
車手協會 biker organization...
協會? Organization, huh?
我們為那些被虐待的兒童給予援助 and we, we help abused kids, man.
快點 Come on.
現在剛好有個老混蛋來了 There's the old prick right now.
終於來了啊 It's about time.
你迷路了嗎 You get lost?
嗨 Chuck Hey, Chuck.
Irving.
嗨 小子 你還好嗎 Hey, buddy. How you doing, billy goat?
要來個擁抱嗎 You want to give me a hug?
-別怕我 -嘿 -Don't be afraid of me. -Hey.
我知道在過去我們彼此間有歧義 I know we had our differences in the past,
但現在我要拜託你 but I'm gonna ask you right now
照顧好這孩子 to please take care of this boy.
他是我最後的財富了 He's all I have left.
別這樣說我... 別這樣說我 Don't come at me... Don't come at me
搞得我好像是個混帳東西似的 like I'm some kind of asshole.
我當然會照顧好這個小混球 Of course I'm gonna take care of the little shit.
-他可是我的孩子 -嘿 嘿 嘿 嘿 -He's my kid. -Hey, hey, hey, hey.
你冷靜點 好嗎 Just take it down, all right?
此時此刻別再像個笨蛋一樣 好嗎 Just surprise me and don't be a schmuck this time, okay?
我好得很 We're all good.
到這邊來 老弟 Come here. Come here, buddy.
你會是個好孩子 知道嗎 You be a good boy, okay? All right?
我會常來看望你的 I'm going to be checking in on you a lot.
我會向你媽媽彙報 And I'm gonna get word to your mom
我已經安全的把你送你到爸爸那裡了 that you're with your father now.
我還會告訴她我們一路上的快樂時光 And I'm gonna tell her all the fun we had,
還有那些你做過的各種酷斃的蠢事 and all the cool things you showed me.
爺爺永遠愛你 Grandpa loves you very much.
我也愛你 Love you, too.
拜拜 孩子 Good-bye, son.
拜拜 老傢伙 Bye, old man.
過來 Billy Come on, Billy.
廢話說完了吧 That's enough of that horseshit.
跳上來 對就這樣 Hop up here. There you go.
坐到上面來 小朋友 Get up here, little man.
不好意思 Excuse me.
坐在這裡 Just sit up here.
來 把背包脫掉 不用背著了 Here, take this bag off. You don't need this.
你還好嗎 How ya doing?
是的 先生 Yes, sir.
我們是兒童守護者協會 We're the Guardians of the Children...
我們是專門照顧小孩的 and we take care of kids...
那太好了 That's good.
只要那孩子跟那個人還在那裡 and as long as this boy and this feller's in there...
那孩子就會受到我們的關照 that child will be took care of.
-非常感謝你們 我... -你不用擔心 -Thank you very much. I, uh... -Don't worry about that.
我是那孩子的爺爺 I'm his grandfather
不幸的是我不得不把他交回給他父親 and unfortunately I have to hand him back now.
我可以理解你的心情 I can see the concern.
我不相信那傢伙 I don't trust him.
他得照顧那孩子多久 How long does he get to keep the child?
直到他的媽媽出獄為止 Until his mom gets out of jail.
真抱歉 先生 我沒辦法再說下去了 I'm sorry, sir, I can't talk about it.
我明白了 祝你有美好的一天 I understand. Have a good day.
請照顧好他 Please watch him!
我們會照顧好他的 We'll take good care of him.
你叫什麼名字 小朋友 What's your name, little feller?
你叫什麼名字 What's your name?
Billy.
Billy 我是Rick Billy, I'm Rick.
-嗨 Rick -很高興認識你 Billy -Hi, Rick. -Nice to meet you, Billy.
老爸 我們可以吃點東西嗎 Dad, can we get some food?
我告訴你 你只可以喝水 I'll tell you what, you can have a water.
你想吃點雞腿嗎 Do you want a chicken wing for the road?
拜託 老爸 我肚子好餓 Please, Dad, I'm hungry.
你不要吃那個 You don't need to eat that. You're...
不 不要給他那個 No, don't give him that.
我覺得他得減減肥了 我是說真的 I mean, he needs to lose some weight. I mean, honestly.
一隻雞腿而已 又不會把他怎麼樣 A chicken leg ain't gonna hurt him.
謝謝 Thank you.
你可以幫我看著這個小胖子嗎 Will you watch the little fat boy?
我去上個廁所 I gotta go take a piss.
別這樣叫他 Don't call him that.
當有人不尊重我的時候 When someone disrespects me,
我會這麼說"DT 拉他出去" I wanna be able to go, like, "DT, take him out."
不 我們不會這樣 Yeah, no. We're not that.
"DT 看到..." "DT, see that..."
你看 那個傢伙在瞪著我不懷好意 Look at that, that guy eyeballing me over there?
聽著 如果我等下出了什麼事的話 Listen, if I start some shit right now,
你會幫著我嗎 will you guys back me up?
因為那傢伙好像看我不爽 'Cause this guy's been eyeballing me all...
不 你得靠你自己 No, no, you're on your own.
我們正在這裡開派對 We're here having a party.
就這樣而已 That's all we are.
該死的 Yeah, damn.
我們要... That's what we're about, so...
Billy.
我們去釣魚吧 Let's go fishing.
我們去釣魚吧 老弟 Let's go fishing, buddy.
你又回來幹嘛 What are you doing back here?
-他必須跟我走 -我可以跟你走嗎 -He's going with me. -Can we?
嗯 你可以跟我走 Yeah, you're coming with me.
我不想你跟著他 Yeah, I don't want you with him,
-明白了嗎 -喂 喂 喂 -all right? -Whoa, whoa, whoa...
別把你的髒手放在他身上 No, no. Don't put your hands on him.
這是我兒子 只要我想我當然可以把手放在他身上 That's my son. I can put my hand on him if I want to.
別碰他 你就是個... No, don't touch him. You are his...
-你個狗雜種 -我是他的家人 -You are a son of a bitch. -I am his family.
你從來就不是個合格的父親 You've been no father.
-喔 是嗎 -是啊 -Oh, yeah? Really? -Yeah.
來吧Billy 我們走 Come on, Billy. Let's go.
待在這裡 別聽他的 Just stay right there! Don't listen...
嘿 他得待在這裡 Hey, he's staying right here.
-來吧 老弟 -不不不 他得待在這裡 -Come here, buddy. -No, no, no. He's staying here.
-滾開 -你才滾開 -Back off! -You back off!
他不會跟著你的 他只會跟著我 He's not going with you. He's coming with me.
-你明白嗎 -不 不 不 -Do you understand? -No, no, no.
-他會跟著我... -他可是我飯票 -He's coming with... -This is my meal ticket.
你沒資格照顧他 You're not fit to have him.
我沒資格? I'm not fit?
-是的 你沒資格 -我沒資格? -Yeah, you're not fit... -I'm not fit?
我要踢爆你的菊花 I'll fucking kick your ass!
-你給我滾一邊去 -夠了 夠了 -Get out of my face! -All right, all right!
哇 哇 哇 Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-我要殺了你 -冷靜 冷靜 -I'll kill you! -Easy. Easy.
你他媽給我冷靜點 老兄 Settle the hell down, man!
你哪都不能去 夠了 住手 You ain't going nowhere, buddy. Stop it.
你最好放開我 夥計 You better let go of me, boy.
我孫子的背包在哪 把背包給我 Let me get his bag. Where's my grandson's backpack? Take your grandson.
沒事 他沒事 Okay. He's okay.
我不會放過你的 I can't hack it with you!
那是我的600刀 There goes my 600 bucks!
你到底在說什麼啊 老兄 What are you talking about, man?
那孩子能讓我每個月免費領到600刀 That kid is my 600 bucks a month!
給我回來 Come back here!
讓我來告訴你 他比金錢重要 Let me tell you something, he's more than money.
他比金錢重要得多了 He's a hell of a lot more than money.
你有聽見我說的嗎 You hear what I'm saying?
-他在外邊不會受到傷害的 -我聽到了 -He's fixing to get hurt out there. -I hear you, man.
你這樣會受傷的 老兄 You'll freaking get hurt, brother.
你別想殺任何人 老兄 You ain't gonna kill nobody, brother.
除非你死了 你最好給我冷靜下來 Unless you die your damn self then you better chill out.
好吧 好吧 All right, now, all right!
你現在看著的是個死亡天使 You looking at a death angel right now.
都聽你的 好嗎 You got me, all right?
-那孩子不是600刀就能衡量的 -我投降 -That boy ain't no 600 dollars. -I forfeit.
我投降 I forfeit.
你沒聽懂嗎 You understand me?
我放棄 我投降了 I give up. I surrender.
好 好極了 你們想要保護那孩子是嗎 Fine. Fine. You wanna guard that kid?
那你們就保護吧 You guard him.
他也是個監護人啊 He's got a guardian.
開車走吧 我們會把他拖在裡面的 Go ahead and take off. We'll keep him inside.
謝謝你們 Thank you so much.
拜拜 寶貝 要玩得愉快喔 Bye, baby! Have fun, okay?
你還好嗎 You okay?
嗯 你呢 Yeah. You?
我很好 I'm okay.
喔 Oh!
喔 不 Oh, no.
喔 草 Oh, shit!
抱歉撞到你們的摩托車 Sorry about the bikes!
你真的以為我會離開你嗎 Did you really think I was going to leave you?
有點 Kind of.
不是吧 No way!
好吧 那你現在想做什麼 Well, what do you want to do now?
我有個主意 I got an idea.
嘿 夥計們 Hey, guys.
-晚上好 -嗨 -Good evening. -Hi.
-你好嗎 -很好 -How are you? -Good.
-好嘞 -等一下 -All right... -Wait.
待會我們會進去裡面 Now, when we walk in that room,
你的名字是Lindsey Dill 知道了嗎 your name is Lindsey Dill. Okay?
你是個可愛的男孩子 You're a pretty little girl,
所以別亂放屁別罵人 知道了嗎 so no farting and no swearing, you got it?
讓我們去賺些錢吧 Let's go win us some money.
那好 進去吧 All right. Come on.
嗨 我現在可以採訪你們嗎 Hi. Is it okay if I interview you guys?
我們在錄製幕後花絮 Doing a behind-the-scenes video for the pageant.
當然 Sure.
你是誰 Who are you?
嗨 我是Jill Hi. My name's Jill.
我可以問你幾個問題嗎 Can I ask you some questions for our camera?
好呀 Yes.
說"好的 女士" 不要發嗲 Say, "Yes, ma'am" but don't baby-talk.
你參加過多少次這種選美比賽 So, how many pageants have you been in?
大概一千次了吧 I've probably been in a thousand pageants.
那你獲得過幾次冠軍 And how many of them did you win?
我每次都得冠軍 I won every single one!
-什麼 -每次都得冠軍 -What? -Every single one!
我應該多說說話 I'm supposed to talk.
這是一種競選 一種比賽 It's competitive, it's a sport.
-和我的朋友們比... -媽媽們就可以... -And my friends... -And so moms get...
你知道她們參加這種競選 You know, they get into this competition
如果你發揮得很好... and if you're going to do it and do it right...
你在做什麼 What are you doing?
別鬧 如果你發揮得很好... Stop, now. If you're going to do it and do it right...
我是指 你想要變得有競爭力 I mean, you've got to be willing to be competitive.
那會怎麼樣 能理解嗎 And that's what happens, you know?
有時候我覺得這種競選和其他種類的比賽很相似 Sometimes I think competition, just like any other sport,
比別人都好 gets the best of everybody.
非常感謝各位今晚能蒞臨 Well, thank you so much for being here tonight
卡羅萊納州可愛妹妹選拔賽 at the Carolina Cutie Pies Young Miss Pageant.
在這特別的晚會上 And because this is such a special night,
我們要給大家特別的驚喜 we have a special surprise for you.
今晚 我們將為優勝選手 Tonight, for the winner,
頒發5000刀獎金 we're going to give away $5,000!
哇 Whoo!
5000刀 $5,000!
碉堡了 That's crazy!
現在 我們要進行服裝展示秀 But now, we want to get into our beauty gown competition.
-各位興奮嗎 -我已興奮不已 -Are you excited? -I know. I love it!
這太他媽逗了 This is so funny!
有請一號選手上臺 Contestant number one, please come to the stage.
你今晚看起來很漂亮唷 Looking very beautiful tonight.
這位第十號選手 This is contestant number 10,
Lindsey Dill!
她有迷人的金髮碧眼 Lindsey has blazing blonde hair and hazel eyes.
她的興趣是橄欖球 釣魚 Her hobbies are football, fishing
以及調戲她的襪子猴 and playing with her sock monkey!
那位一定是她引以驕傲的爺爺 That must be your proud grandpa.
女士們先生們 讓我們感謝十號選手 Ladies and gentlemen, contestant number 10,
Lindsey Dill.
那個是我的孫女 That's my granddaughter.
嘿呀 Hi-ya!
讓我們給她送上鼓掌 Let's give her a hand!
你的女兒實在是太可愛了 Your daughter's so precious.
她太棒了 她的表現真的很好 She's so precious... She did really good.
我不知道她在首輪的表現是不是夠好 I don't know if it'll be good enough for first place,
但剛才的表現真的很贊 but she did really good.
...接下來請欣賞由Owl City和Carly Rae Jepsen帶來的Good Time ...Good Time by Owl City and Carly Rae Jepsen.
你覺得你到目前為止的表現如何 So, how do you think the competition's going so far?
很好 Good.
你覺得這次的比賽有什麼不一樣的嗎 Do you think you have any stiff competition?
有 其中一個女孩帶她爺爺來這裡 Some... one of these girls has her grandpa here.
覺得怪怪的嗎 Is that weird?
我們只是沒見過有帶爺爺來的 所以覺得有點不太一樣 We've just never seen it, so it's different.
接下來的是十號選手 And this is contestant number 10.
有請Lindsey Dill Everyone, Lindsey Dill!
我的愛人在大洋的彼岸 My Bonnie lies over the ocean
我的愛人在海角天邊 My Bonnie lies over the sea
嗷... Aw...
我的愛人在大洋的彼岸 My Bonnie lies over the ocean
請將我的愛人帶回我的身邊 Please bring back my Bonnie to me
我們得把她關起來 We're locking it up.
快跑 Come on.
那是男生嗎 That's a boy?
臥槽 快跑 Shit. Come on!
女士們先生們 剛剛是由Lindsey Dill Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it
為我們帶來的表演 for Lindsey Dill.
爺爺 你覺得我跳得怎麼樣 Grandpa, what'd you think of my dancing?
迷得我神魂顛倒 Ha! I loved your dancing.
你的表現就像是Ginger Rogers和Fred Astaire的 You were Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire
兩位一體 all rolled into one.
來擊個掌 Gimme five.
爺爺 我星期二要開學了 Grandpa, school starts on Tuesday.
星期二? Tuesday?
見鬼 有個演出星期二開始 Hell, that's when the ponies start running.
星期五我載你去學校怎麼樣 What do you say I get you to school on Friday?
太棒了 All right!
好嘞 All right.
這裡看起來是個不錯的釣點 Does this look like a good spot?
這裡跟其他釣點一樣好啦 This looks like as good a spot as any.
來吧 Here we go!
喔 我的老天爺啊 Oh, my goodness!
謝啦 老弟 Oh, thanks, buddy.
你確定我們要這樣做 You sure we should do this?
這是她的遺願 This is what she wanted.
你最後還有什麼想要和奶奶說的話嗎 You got any final words for your grandma?
嗯 Yeah.
拜拜 奶奶 Bye, Grandma.
拜拜 Ellie Bye, Ellie.
哇 Whoo!
我們開始釣魚吧 Let's start fishing.
釣魚咯 Let's fish.
我要黑色那條 I call black one!
你想要黑色那條? 好 那我要紅色的 You got the black one? Okay, I got the red one.
哇 Whoa.
爺爺 我想噓噓 Grandpa, I got to pee-pee.
你想噓噓? You got to pee-pee?
好吧 那把你的小夥伴穿過欄杆 Well, dangle that little thing through the railing
讓奶奶安息吧 and let her rip.
但我想說這樣做的話對你奶奶是大不敬唷 But point it that way out of respect for your grandmother.
老兄 你他媽給我滾遠點 Man, get the fuck away from me.
我怎麼了 What did I do?
可以抱抱我嗎 老爸 Can I get a hug? Dad?
這可一點都不好玩 大胖小子 That wouldn't be appropriate, big guy.
他說你是只肥美的貓咪(pussy) He says you have a fat kitty cat.
好吧 Okay.
嗯? Hmm?
-搖搖我的背 -我在搖了 -Jiggle my shoulders! -I tried to do it!
搖搖我的... 嗷 搖啊 搖啊 Jiggle my... Ow! Jiggle! Jiggle!
他長什麼樣的 What does he look like?
他有鬍子 He's got a moustache,
一個大腦袋 人高馬大 唔 還有他聞起來像陳年老屁 big head, tall, um, and he smells like old farts.
聽著 老東西 老子已經不是年輕小夥子了 Listen, old man. I ain't fucking young.
老子我45歲 老子絕逼會好好修理你一番的 懂嗎 I'm 45 years old. I'll fucking tune you up. All right?
嗯哼 好啊 Mmm-hmm. Yep.
嘿嘿嘿嘿 都聽著 都聽著 Hey, hey, hey, hey! Listen up, listen up!
剛剛你們在這裡看到的那老頭是Johnny Knoxville先生 The gentleman you just saw in here was Mr. Johnny Knoxville
還有就是我們在秘密拍攝一部電影 and we are shooting a movie.
非常感謝大家 Thank you, everyone,
今晚能夠放我一馬 for putting up with me tonight,
感謝你們沒有把我揍成熊貓人 and thank you for not beating me up.
-來擊個掌 -來擊個掌 -High five! -High five!
你為啥要戴罩罩啊 Why were you wearing a bra?
"你為啥要戴罩罩啊?" "Why were you wearing a bra?"
為了我的表演啊 For my dance.
好吧 這也太違和了吧 Well, that was inappropriate!
Doris 你是怎麼想的 Doris, what did you think?
我媽媽應該不會喜歡這個的 My mother's not gonna like this!
我們其實在拍電影 We're shooting a movie.
不是吧 No way!
告訴我你是在逗我 You've got to be kidding me!
我的天啊 Oh, my God!
我剛剛做的那些都被... 我的天啊 I just did all of that and... Oh, my God!
給我爺爺一個生銹的長號 And a rusty trombone for my grandpa.
給你爺爺一個生銹的長號 是吧? A rusty trombone for your grandpa, huh?
是的 Yep.
我要給你拍張照 Well, I need to take your picture
以確認你是不是某地的失蹤兒 to see if you're on a milk carton somewhere.
你覺得呢 What do you think?
別傷害我 Don't hurt me!
傷害你? 我可是個86歲的老頭耶 Hurt you? I'm 86 years old.
別傷害我 Don't hurt me!
喔... Oh...
Billy! Billy!
嗷 Ow!
妓女是啥啊 What is a whore?
喔 孩子 這個... Oh, boy. Uh...
這個說來話長 Oh, boy, that's a tough one.
好嘞 好戲開始了 All right, here we go.
喔耶 我現在變身成個老混球了 Poof! I'm an old prick now.
喔耶 試試看這個 Oh, yeah? Get a load of this!
我媽咪喜歡嗨毒就像我喜歡釣魚一樣 My mommy loves crack almost as much as I love fishing.
什麼 你剛剛說什麼 I'm sorry, what did you just say?
有事嗎? Can I help you?
說話再像個老頭一點啦 Talk more like an old man.
-我嗎 -是的 -Me? -Yes.
這聲音聽起來太像Johnny Knoxville了 Yeah, he sounds like Johnny Knoxville.
我恨這工作 我他媽恨死你們了 I hate this job. I fucking hate you!
那裡藏著個攝影機 This is a camera, in there.
這邊也有一個 That's a camera.
我覺得這角落裡也有個攝影機 I think there's a camera here somewhere.
對著鏡頭說幾句 Talk to that.
好 嗨 你好嗎 Okay, and when... Hi, how are you?
喔 看看我 我看起來是不是很漂亮 Oh, look at me! I look beautiful!
剛剛那個是綠茶婊 That's one ugly bitch.
每次和這些傢伙們共事 我都覺得很有意思 It's interesting. Every time I work with these guys,
不是我整你就是你整我 I'm either in a casket or around a casket.
我喜歡站這裡 I like standing here.
我還喜歡站這裡 And I like standing here.
但我最喜歡的是這裡 But my favorite spot is here.
-別這麼小氣 -滾開 -Come on. -Get away.
我可能因為太老而硬不起來 I may be too old to stir the gumbo,
但是我敢肯定我還可以當個"小舔心" but I can still lick the ladle, that's for sure.
在我看來 In my opinion, ladle-licking
能舔比能插更重要 is more important than gumbo-stirring anyway.
我可以舔我的眉毛 Oh, I can lick my eyebrows.
滾一邊去 Get out!
幹 Fuck.
我的天啊 Oh, my God!
你沒事吧 Are you all right?
-夠了 -喔 老兄 -Okay. -Oh, man.
哇 Whoa.
好個大結局 Big finish.
這兒怎麼了 What's going on here?
滾開 屎蛋 Get out of here, asshole.
我們來給你加個雙重特效 We have to bring in your stunt double.
-謝謝 -你一定是在開玩笑吧 老兄 -Thank you. -You gotta be shittin' me, man!
我坐在那邊看 然後我在想"這到底是怎麼了" I'm sitting there looking, I'm like, "What is up with this?"
你是認真的嗎 Are you serious?
你們照顧Billy實在是太貼心了 You guys are so sweet to look after Billy.
-我的天啊 -你好嗎 -Oh, my God! -How are you?
啊 Ugh!
抱歉 Kelman Oh, I'm sorry, Kelman.
我的愛人在大洋的彼岸 My Bonnie lies over the ocean
我的愛人在海角天邊 My Bonnie lies over the sea
我的愛人在大洋的彼岸 My Bonnie lies over the ocean
請將我的愛人帶回我的身邊 So bring back my Bonnie to me