康熙十六年皇帝得怪病 In the 16th year of Kang His Emperor Kang His got a weird disease
有神没气有心无力 He was lacking of strength and spirit
吃不安、睡不宁 He couldn't eat and sleep
群医束手无策,命在旦夕 the doctors were helpless
皇帝意志消沈 The emperor was dying
唯有靠吸食大蔴逃避痛苦 he had no choice but took grass to kill pain
皇上,爽不爽呀? You Majesty, do you feel it funny?
传护国法师 Summon the Royal Magician
传护国法师…传护国法师 Summon the Royal Magician
阿弥陀佛 Thank God
如果你也救不到我 If you can't help me
那真是阿弥陀佛啊 I have to serve God then
皇上乃天子贵体,必得上天庇佑 You Majesty is blessed by God
现在神雀五十,良方百条 Now, I have got 50 holy birds and hundreds of treatments
求佛祖慈悲显灵 May God bless you
有事就说吧 Tell me what you have in mind
皇上... Your Majesty
探子有军机急事报告 The informer has got secret massage for you
急报皇上 Your Majesty
截获吴三桂造反武器制造蓝图一本 we've got an armament book of betrayer Wu San Kwai
铁甲无敌时光穿梭轮 "Invincible Time Adventure Wheel"?
皇上,佛祖显灵啊 Your Majesty, it's the blessing of God
万岁万岁万万岁 Long life to Your Majesty
真龙天子临天下 The real king arrived
凤舞蓝天未归来 The Phenix hasn't returned
若求无双龙凤配 If there is a match of dragon and phenix
不在古时不在今 not in the past and not in the present
不在古时不在今?这是什么意思呢? Not in the past and not in the present? What does the mean?
皇上请放心!我们可以利用 Don't worry, we may use the
吴三桂和罗刹人发明的穿梭轮 Invincible Time Adventure Wheel
到三百年后的地方 to go to 300 years later
去找真命皇后回来替皇上治病 get the real queen back to cure your illness
派那一个去办呢? Who should do this?
有了,我记得皇上有一个好朋友 I remember Your Majesty has a good friend
他好色淫贱古惑多变,但福大命大 he is smart and perverted and he is always lucky too
他就是最佳的人选啊 He is the best guy to do it
今天晚上的手风一定要顺啊 I have to make good choice tonight
千万不要是公主!不要是公主 Don't let it be the Princess, no princess
今天晚上一定是你 I want you tonight
曾柔…曾柔 Tsang Yau...
千万不要是公主啊 Please, don't make it be Princess
如果是公主我就杀了你 If it is Princess, I will kill you
曾柔…曾柔 Tsang Yau...
今天晚上是公主夫人伺候韦爵爷 The Princess will serve you tonight Your Excellency
怎会这样啊? My God
明明是曾柔的啊 It is Tasng Yau
今天晚上我吃定你了 I want you tonight
这次糟糕了!死定了 Shit, I am dying
看紧门口吧 Watch the door carefully
韦爵爷不在里面啊 His Excellency isn't there
不要硬闯进来嘛 don't come in by force
不要这样!别催促我 Don't do that, don't push me
我还没穿好衣服啊 I haven't put on clothes yet
你两个真是没用 You two are useless
你拉我也没用,我的衣服很重的 It's useless to pull me my clothes are so heavy
我是走得这么慢的!那又怎么样啊? I walk slowly, so what?
我说过进去就会进去 I said I would go in
公主 Your Highness
你穿成这样究竟是什么意思呢? What do you mean by dressing like this?
没什么!因为要来见你 Nothing, because of seeing you
所以穿得隆重一点 so I dress decently
干嘛不将盾牌也带来呢? Why don't you bring the shield together?
是啊!你提醒了我 Oh yes, you reminded me
看什么?这是闺房之乐 What are you looking?
你们长大了之后就自然会懂了 You will know it when you grow up
出去…出去 Get out...
立刻上床 Go to bed now
自己去 Go yourself
我帮你 Let me help me
老婆 Honey
先说清楚今天晚上我们搞什么花招? tell me what we are going to play tonight
我一定会照顾你的 I will take care of you
你真的照顾我才好 You'd take care of me
什么东西刺我? What is stabbing me?
狼牙棒?很易会弄出人命啊,老婆 It may kill, honey
你是我老公,我不跟你弄出人命 You are my husband, we want to make
还会跟谁去弄人命呢? a new life tonight
公主 Your Highness...
韦爷,圣旨到 Your Excellency, come and receive the Royal Instruction
韦爷有性事在身 His Excellency is busy
不能下床接旨也不相干 it's Ok of not kneeling
奉天承运,皇帝诏曰 Here is the Royal Instruction
传韦小宝火速入宫面圣,钦Al Wai Siu Bo should now go to the palace to greet His Majesty
老婆,我也没有其他办法 Honey, I have no other choice
皇上传我入宫,我说什么也要去 I have to greet
谢主龙恩才行,是吗? His Majesty now
阿福,备轿 Ah Ford, prepare the sedan chair
等一等,先完事才去吧 Wait, you should finish our matter first
国家兴亡男子有责 But it's man's duty to repay the country
朝廷养我千日,可能就是用于今朝 Maybe, I am useful in the coming mission
我们的儿女私情,暂时放在一边吧 Let's forget our affection first
先完事嘛 No, finish the matter first
先入宫嘛 No, let me go to the palace first
先完事嘛 Finish our matter first
先入宫嘛 Go to the palace first
边做,一边去吧 Let's finish it on the way to the palace
好的…好的 Fine
来吧 Ok
高一点…高一点,用力点…用力点 Higher, higher, use more force...
我已尽力了 I have tried my best
老公,我还未满足啊!我等你回来吧 Honey, I am not satisfied I am waiting for you
微臣轻佻浮燥情场女杀手玉树临风 I am the perverted but handsome lady killer
大富大贵一等鹿鼎公sir韦小宝 Wai Siu Bo
叩见皇上 long life to Your Majesty
平身 Get up please
谢皇上 Thank you, Your Majesty
皇上召微臣进宫 You summoned me urgently
不知有什么重要事情呢? may I know what happened?
当然有要事嘛!过来过量一下吧 There is an important matter come and discuss it
皇上,你这种大蔴的味道似乎不佳啊 Your Majesty, from the taste your grass is not good enough
要不要试试我这种暹逻货呢? Why not try this? From Thailand
好吧,让我试试看 Ok, let me try this
是陈太监给微臣的 This is sent by Eunuch Chan
皇上,不要抽太多 You Majesty, don't take too much
皇上,请保重龙体 Please take care
很厉害啊 It's really great
抽一口就会很兴奋了 It'll get high easily
这里很闷,我们到外面走一走吧 It's boring, let's go out for a walk
好的 Fine
微臣一时兴奋走在皇上前面一点点 I am too excited to exceed you
请求皇上恕罪 Please forgive me
别说这种话 Don't talk in this way
去你的!最近有些事情令我心烦 Damn you something bothers me so much
皇上头痛小宝心痛 Please instruct me anything
有什么事皇上尽管吩咐吧 you want me to do for you
我韦小宝一定会尽力而为 I will try my best to do it
废话少说!我当你是我最好的朋友 Cut the crap, I take you as my best friend
我现在有件艰难之极的难题 Now, I have a difficult task for you
要你帮我去处理 to handle it on my behalf
你抚心自问 If you are my friend
如果当我是你的朋友你才好答应 you'd promise to do this for me
我当皇上何止是朋友呢 I treat Your Majesty more than a friend
我当皇上简直是神明一样来参拜 I worship you as God
当真? Really?
尤其是国难当前 Especially it's the difficult time of your country
我韦小宝就算是上刀山,下油镬 No matter how hard is the job is
保证眼睛动也不动 I, Wai Siu Bo, will never scare
去你的 Damn you
这个混蛋,老是在套交情 You bastard, you always
总是要我推辞不得 make use of your friendship
我刚才所说的那件艰苦任务 The mission I mentioned
就是跟我们从罗杀国抢回来的 is related to the
时空穿梭轮有关 Time Adventure Wheel
那个就是穿梭轮了吗? That is the "Time Adventure Wheel"?
颜色很耀眼啊!是金子做的吗? It's very colorful, isn't it made by gold?
但它的外形活像个茶壶一样啊 It's like a tea pot
皇上 Your Majesty
不知这个穿梭轮有什么功用呢? What's the use of it?
皇上可否给我解释一下 Can you explain it to me?
它能带你到三百年之后 It can bring you to 300 years later
干嘛要带我到三百年之后呢 Why should I go to 300 years later?
找老婆啊 To find a wife
微臣已经有七个了,用不着再找? I have got 7 wives I don't think I need anymore
最可惜的是我一个也没有啊 But what a pity that, I have none
说得对!那关我什么事呢 You are right, but none of my business
小宝,上前听封 Siu Bo, come and have my order
微臣接旨 Yes, Your Majesty
怎么搞的 What's wrong?
敌人杀到吗?是不是敌人杀到? Isn't it the invasion of the enemies?
怎能坐呢 How to sit?
皇上,茶壶变了碳啊 Your Majesty the tea pot becomes carbon
启奏皇上 Your Majesty
刚才试验穿梭轮时发生爆炸 the wheel has just been tested but cause explosion
穿梭轮已化为灰烬 It's become ashes now
用不着你说我也看得到 I can tell by looking at this
但愿皇上体谅我们已尽全力 Please forgives us, we've tried our best
既然尽了力还是办不来 Well
不如就此作罢 just forget this
微臣希望带罪立功 I hope to compensate
最后一个一定可以成功 The last one must be successful
后天照原定计划出发 Set out the day after tomorrow
尽管试一试吧 Just make another try
试一试?皇上,最近我的赌运很差啊 A try? Your Majesty my luck in gambling is very poor recently
如果你不想去,那我自己去好吗? If you don't want to go... may I go myself?
那一定要我去了 I've to go then
师父,弟子今次离去之后 Master, I don't know
不知还有没有命回来 whether I can come back alive or not
这次喂得你饱饱的 I treat you great food this time
你自己省着点来吃吧 Enjoy it. Don't waste it
万望你保佑弟子完整的去 Hope you would bless me to be safe.
完整的回来,拜托 Please
师父的面色很红润 Master, you look good
定是吃喝玩乐吧 You must have fun, right?
爵爷,时辰到了,玩轮盘好吗? Your Excellency, time's up, let's play
不玩了!我今日心情欠佳 No. I am not in good mood
要玩就叫他们来玩我吧 if you want to play, play me
是 Yes
我还是先试一试口诀灵不灵验 I have to test whether the charm functions or not
床前明月眼长疮 Scabies in the eyes, in front of the bed
怎么没有人呢? Why nobody appears?
不是说好我一念口他就现身的吗? He will show up when I tell the charm
师父一定是上了茅厕 He must have gone to the toilet
小宝,你找师父什么事? Siu Bo, what are you looking for master?
师父 Master
没什么! Nothing
我试一试那口诀有没有效而已 I just want to test whether the charm functions or not
去你的!无缘无故叫我来干什么啊? Damn you, why do you ask me for?
我操你祖宗十八代 I damn you!
没事的话我走了 If there is nothing special, I am leaving
师父,告辞了 See you
时代变了,连师父也说粗话 Time's changed, Master is so rude too
七灯齐升 Raise the 7 lanterns
小心点…慢慢来,就放在这儿吧 Slowly, put it right here
老公,你怎么样?很辛苦吗? Hubby, how are you? Are you feeling bad?
宫娥,快拿补品进来啊 Give His Excellency some nutritious food
你别装蒜啊!怎会有事呢 Stop pretending, it won't harm
我说不会有事就不会有事啊 I said, it would be alright, then it's alright
老公,我这件东西给你 Hubby, I have to give you something
玉乳房啊 The Jade Busts?
我要你记着我,不准你碰其他女人 I want you to remember me only don't touch any other woman
我自有打算 I have my own idea
姐姐,老公的身体这么差 Sister, hubby is so weak
不如运功替他打通经脉吧 Why not give him some help to ventilate his blood?
好的 Fine
扶起他吧 Help him up
你运你们的功,但千万别 Use your power, but don't...
有多位夫人照顾 Being taken care by the mistress
韦爵爷一定不有事的 His Excellency must be alright
希望韦爵爷可以大补元气 Hope His Excellency will recover soon
禀告皇上,时辰已到 Your Majesty, time's up
韦爵爷,你只要朝着东北方向 Your Excellency, just face to North East
经纬十八度 turn 18'...
少噜嗦 Cut the crap
你还是说说怎样可以找皇后好了 just tell me how to get the queen
韦爵爷,佛祖显灵 Your Excellency you are blessed by the God
皇后是在庚子木年,三月初九 The queen is born in March 9, at 3-5 am
寅时出生的童女 the year of wood. A virgin
童女?很难从外表分辨啊 Virgin? It's hard to distinguish from the appearance
所以,我给你准备了枝水晶棒 So, I have prepared a crystal bar for you
只要是处女 When you touch the virgin
碰到它的就会闪出耀的金光 bright golden light will be shown
真的?那么淫妇又会怎么样 Really? How about bitch?
淫妇就会发出耀眼的红光 It she is a bitch bright red light will be shown
小宝 Siu Bo
我赐给你一柄上方宝剑和三箱珠宝 I am now giving you a Royal Sword and 3 boxes of jewels
你看着办吧 Try your best
谢皇上 Thank you, Your Majesty
韦爵爷,请 Your Excellency, this way please
关门吧 Shut the door
等一等 Wait!
皇上,你要记着答应过我的事 Your Majesty, you'd remember the thing you have promised me
关门吧 Shut the door...
等一等,我要尿尿 Wait, I want to piss
关门吧 Shut the door
起程 Let's go!
难道这儿就是三百年后的世界? Is this the world of 300 years advanced?
真香啊 It smells good
这个样子的,究竟是什么狗呢? What kind of dog is it?
别追我 Don't chase after me
臭狗,滚开!滚开 Damn it, get lost
我怎会在这儿呢?难道是他救了我 Why am I here? Is he the one who saved me?
幸好看样子他不像是坏人 He doesn't seem to be a bad guy
大陆人,抬起双脚 Mainlander, raise up your legs
先吃了它吧 Eat this first
全赖我从厕所救了你 It's lucky of you to be saved by me from the toilet
不然你已浸死了 Otherwise, you would have been socked to death
请问这儿是什么地方 What place is it?
你又是什么人呢? Who are you?
什么地方?这里是皇家香港警察 What place? This is the HQs of the
新界北区指挥总部 Northern District of RHKPF...
不会管到的麻耶忽村派出所 I'm kidding! I mean it's a common police station in Ma Ye Fat Village
我是所长!官阶是沙展 I am the station sergeant
认识我的人都叫我华叔 Everybody calls me Uncle Wah
不识我的人就叫我警察或阿s But those who don't know me they will call me police or Sir
亦即是你们所谓的公安 That's equivalent to your "Gong On" that's security officer
你说得太快我不能完全领悟 You speak too fast, I can't understand all
你可不可以将刚才所说的话再说一遍 Can you repeat once?
不必了 Not necessary
你还是解释一下什么叫做警察吧 can you explain what is a police?
警察就是维持治安的人嘛 The one who keeps law and order
你别再在我面前装蒜啦 Stop pretending in front of me
我知你是从那边偷渡来的 I know you are an illegal immigrant
你快吃完这面后,我就带你回去吧 Eat this bowl of noodle then I will take you back
回去?回去那里呀? Back? Back to where?
请问当今皇帝是谁呀? Who is the emperor?
我有事要跟他商量 I want to discuss something with him
皇帝?那个就是皇帝了 Emperor? That is the emperor
不男不女的外族 A foreigner? That means
现在岂不是没有了清朝 the Ching Dynasty was finished
清朝?神经病 Ching Dynasty? You idiot
江湖第一大帮会是不是天地会呢? Is the Heaven and Earth Society still the first society in the world?
香港第一大帮会是马会 The No.1 society in Hong Kong is the Royal HK Jockey Club
马会? Jockey Club?
我岂不是要亲自去拜访一下马会 So I have to visit it
有志气!可惜你没有身份证 You are wonderful but you don't have any I.D. Card
什么身份证? What is I.D. Card?
别噜嗦了 Cut the crap
还是趁阿超还没回来就快点带你回去 I have to take you back before Chiu's return
阿超没有我这么容易商量 Ah Chiu is difficult to handle
他见到大陆人就会发晦气 He will drive crazy when seeing the Mainlander
什么叫发晦气? What is meant by drive crazy?
看我的样子就知道了 Just look at me, and then you'll know it
师父? Master?
师父!这次师叔也救不到你啦 Master! No one can save you this time
大陆人 Mainlander
师父,你在这儿就好了 Master, I am glad you are here
这套不就是我梦寐以求的僵尸装吗? This is the suit always dream of
怎么我到玩具反斗城也买不到呢? Why can't buy this in the toy's shop?
说!告诉我 Tell me, tell me
师父,说什么呢? Master, what'd I tell you?
告诉我…告诉我 Tell me...
阿超,你别太冲动啊 Ah Chiu, don't be so impulsive
你要我告诉你什么? What am I going to tell you?
你究竟说不说? Why don't you tell?
我究竟要说什么呢? What am I going to tell you?
你要发问我才知你要我告诉你什么 You'd ask me first
说!为何在玩具反斗城找不到 Tell me why can't I get this suit
这套梦寐以求的僵尸装呢 in the toy's shop?
我每天都是穿着这件衣服的 This is my daily dress
师父,怎么你的辫子不见了 Master, where is your pig tail?
‘鞭’当然是在下面啊 It's hidden underneath
大陆人,你是不是当我的枪是假的? Mainlander don't you think this gun is fake?
你从那儿偷渡来的? Where do you come from?
我说过我不是大陆人嘛 I am not a mainlander
说!立刻说!信不信我开枪打死你? Tell me, tell me now or I'll shoot you to death
我真的会开枪打死你!我不是说笑的 I mean it, I am not kidding
阿超,你这样做会连累我啊 Ah Chiu, you will drag me down
其实在沙头角有什么不好呢? In fact, Sha Tau Kok is not bad
空气又清新工作又游闲 The air is fresh, the job is easy
你别老想着调到市区立功升职吧 Don't dream of being transfer red to the city
你再不听我的话 If you don't listen to me
我就在你面前自杀 I will commit suicide in front of you
好啊!我帮你吧 Ok, let me help you
这样也打不中? You can't even make it
华叔,怎么大清早就开始放鞭炮啦? Uncle Wah, why do you play firecracker early in the morning?
不是放鞭炮 It's not firecracker
我们在放屁,看谁的放得晌嘛? it's farting competition
但所有东西都烂了 All the things are broken
没事没事 Nothing, nothing
还不去办手续? Why don't you do the normal procedures now?
你们不要争,我先说吧 Stop arguing, let me say something first
你的事怎及我的严重呢? Your case is not serious than mine
华叔,你听我说 Uncle Wah, listen to me...
不要吵!慢慢说,一个跟着一个吧 Stop, one by one, tell slowly
华叔,我要跟我老公离婚啊 Uncle Wah I want a divorce with my husband
阿超,来帮帮忙嘛 Ah Chiu, come and help
你千万不能怪我 You can't blame me
我打你也只是为了帮你 I hit you because I want to help you indeed
陈近南,你到底是不是我师父? Chan Kan Nam, are you my master?
现在只有我们二人 Now, only two of us are here
你不妨老实跟我说啊 you may tell me frankly
说什么? What?
我是小宝呀 I am Siu Bo
你是小露宝,我是小吱喳 You are Siu Lo Bo, I am Siu Chi Cha
钢铁老师叫我打你呀 The Iron Teacher asked me to beat you up
你的手没事吧? How is your hand?
我告诉你,我这辈子最憎恨大陆人啦 I tell you, I hate Mainlanders
为什么我这么恨大陆人 Why do I hate Mainlanders
说起原因就是 because...
没有原因的!我喜欢打就打 Nothing special, I love beating
不知道在什么地方会有花姑娘呢? Where can I find the girls?
这边呀!你不跟着我走不是问题 This way it's not a problem of not following me
但我这辈子最讨厌的就是我说话时 I hate people walk here
你却在我面前走来走去 and there when I am talking
吱吱歪歪的!吵得我烦燥不安 You made me feel annoyed
怎会只有这些老太婆啊? Just some old grannies
难道找错了地方? Did I come a wrong place?
你这语无伦次的…你用什么来刺我? You are sick! What did you stab me with?
刚才说起什么呢? What am I up to?
是了!我生平时讨厌就是长三角虱 I hate louse most in my life
痒也不是问题 It's not a problem of being itchy
最不吉利的就是要将毛剃光 but shaving hair is not lucky
今天海水温度是廿五度 Today, the temperature of the sea is 25'C
吹清劲的东南风,时速十五海里 with mild wind from SE...
准备好了没有? Are you ready?
废话少说!我总算对你不错 Cut the crap, I am treating you good
放你一条生路吧 I will let you go this time
你好自为之吧 Take care
这儿那有路呢? Where is the road?
下面是海啊 Down below is the sea
游泳回去吧 Swim back to China
我不懂游泳 I don't know swimming
那就飘回去吧 Then fly
我也不懂飘啊 I don't know flying too
我这么容易就被赂贿的吗 Do you think I am easily bribed?
这么容易就想打发我? Don't you think you can get rid of me that easily?
再见了!大陆人 See you, Mainlander
华叔,你知道吗?我真的很寂寞啊 Uncle Wah, you know, I am too Ionely
别靠着我啊 Don't learn on me
这里有很多人进进出出的 so many people will pass by
我和老公的性生活不协调 My sex life with my hubby is not satisfactory
我想跟他离婚,以后就跟着你 I want to divorce with him and follow you then
不打扰你们!我要睡一会儿 I won't bother you, I want to take a rest
贵利雄找你呀 Loan Shark Hung is looking for you
糟糕了 Shit!
喂…你老公在到处找你啊 Your hubby is looking for you
你知道吗? you know?
是吗? Really?
那我先走了,华叔拜拜 I am leaving, Uncle Wah, bye bye
拜拜 Bye Bye...
老兄,我得到情报 Pal, some illegal immigrants are hiding
西贡船厂匿藏了些偷渡客 in Sai Kung Ship Factory
我今天晚上一定要去将他们抓光 I will go and arrest them tonight
你立刻打电话给你老大 Call your boss
叫他多派数名兄弟来协助我 ask him to send some help for me
我一定会立大功的 I will achieve something this time
那里来些兄弟呢? Where can we get help?
牛可能还有商量,它们就在村口 We may get some cows, they are outside
去你的 Damn you!
阿超,你的情报全部都是假的 Chiu, your information is fake
如果你真的要立功 If you want to achieve something
就先替我料理这些档案吧 fix these files first
去! Damn!
阿超,这些档案是关于你的 Chiu, these files are all about you
全部都是投诉你欠不还的 For these, they complain you of not paying your debts
去! Damn!
阿超 Ah Chiu
够了吧!你别再投诉我了 Enough, don't complain against me anymore
真不知你怎么能当我的老大 How can you be my boss?
你又怎做我的手下呀? How can you be my fellow?
你去做你的妇女节目吧 Go and do your soapy show
你去做你的爆牙苏吧 Go and act Ah So
老是这么好赌,真不知你怎么打算 You love gambling so much do you have any planning?
华叔,我想跟你去看戏呀 Uncle Wah, let's go for a movie?
票子都已经买了 I've bought the tickets
今天晚上七点在戏院门外见吧 See you at 7 pm, outside the cinema
天生我这么俊俏真是拿他没法啊 I can't help of being so handsome
原来是基哥和水哥两位 Oh, brother Kei and brother Shui
真对不起,情报错误了 I am sorry, wrong information
我找错了地方,真是打扰了 I have found a wrong place sorry for bothering
还不请超哥上来? Why don't you ask Chiu to come up?
财哥 Brother Choi
最近很少见你到欢乐天地消遣啊 you seldom play in the Fun Land
我现在代表油尖旺三区的七个赌档 I come to you on behalf of 7 casinos
九个妓寨,来跟你算账 & 9 brothels of Yau Tsim District
共是十五万 The sum, total is $150,000
没钱还的话就留下你的器官吧 If you don't have money leave your organs
怎么说我是皇家香港警察 I am the outstanding police &
最有前途新人和飞虎队型像设计 the image designer of the Special Unit
给我卖个面子吧 Give me face
我给你妈卖面子 I will give your mom face
我老妈也想问候你 My mom wants to send her regards to you too
你别逼我 Don't push me
这块冒牌货你是从那里骗来的? Where do you get this stuff from?
财哥,我不是耍你 Brother Choi, I am not fooling you
我任何东西你都可以取去 you can take anything of mine
唯独这件值四百多万人见人爱的 But this, my treasure which worth
家传之宝你万万不能取去 4 millions, you can't take away
玉在人在,玉亡人亡 I will live and die with this jade
你要是取走的话 If you want to take it away
怎么也要给我一些现金 you'd give me some cash
你不说出来 I can't tell
我还不知这块玉对你这么重要 it's so important to you
玉亡人亡,是吗? You will live and die with this jade, right?
那你去死吧 Go to hell then
很痛呀 It hurts
谁个用东西掷我?很痛呀 Who threw me with this? It hurts
是那个混蛋掷的 Which bastard did it?
雄哥,就是这混蛋了 Brother Hung, he is the bastard
真对不起呀,雄哥 I am sorry, brother Hung
雄哥,雄嫂 Brother Hung, sister in law
雄嫂 Sister in law
十万元吧 $100,000
十万元? $100,000?
我说十万元就是十万元 I said $100,000, that is $100,000
用不着这么多吧? You needn't that much
嫂子擦伤了一点点而已 she is slightly hurt only
十万元隆胸也够啊 $100,000 is enough for plastic surgery too
是我给你钱呀 It's me who gives you the sum
你给我?这块玉不只值十万元啊 What? This jade is more that $100,000
财哥你是识货之人 You are expert in jade
你叫雄哥加一点吧 Ask Brother Hung to add some more
有钱给你还这么噜嗦? Cut the crap
雄哥说多少就多少嘛 Hung said $100,000, that's $100,000
那就一言为定吧 Let's make it a deal
多谢雄哥,怎么只有五万元 Thank you Brother Hung why just $50,000?
我老婆的医药费你不用付吗? You should pay the medical fee of my wife
公道!真够公道 It's fair, very fair
认他做老大可没有吃亏啊 it's an advantage of taking him as boss
江湖上已经很难再找得到啊 It's hard to find another one in this world
你们要听教听话 you'd be obedient
财哥 Brother Choi
闭嘴 Shut up!
别再耍我啦,财哥 Don't fool me, brother Choi
这东西还给你 This is for you
雄哥,这是利息啊 Brother Hung, this is the interest
将来有什么古董,就立刻拿来给我 If there is any more antique bring it to me at once
不用等将来 No need of waiting
我立刻回家将我的婆婆拿来给你 I am going to take my granny to you now
再见啦各位老大 See you, boss
居然冒充我师父将我推下海 How dare you false impersonated my master & push me to the sea!
幸亏海浪将我带回岸 Luckily the waves brought me to the shore
若果让我再碰到那瘦皮猴 If I see that skinny again
我一定会教他好看 I will teach him a good lesson
不在这儿? Not here?
有人 Someone is here
幸亏她看不到我 Let's see that skinny is here or not
让我看看那瘦皮猴在不在这儿 Let's see that skinny is here or not
很大啊 It's so big
脱衣服? Undress?
裤子也脱了 Even the trousers too?
洗澡? Bathing?
好棒 Great!
精彩 Fantastic!
转过来 Turn, turn...
有贼呀,有贼入村呀,来人啊 Thief, a thief has broken into the village somebody help...
我卑鄙!我下流!我贱格 I am despicable. I am cheap...
我不会介意大家憎恨我,毒打我 I don't mind you hating me, beating me
污辱我,阉割我 or castrating me...
甚至…轮奸我 Even, raping me
老兄,你大话西游嘛? Pal, what are you bull-shitting?
你先放了我们吧 Please let me go first
你说怎样就怎么样好了 do whatever you like
你在说反话吗? Are you telling the truth?
我知我就算死也弥补不了 I know, even my death won't compensate anything
真的很棒啊 It's really great
很白…很滑 So white and smooth...
也弥补不了 It won't compensate
这位身材这么出众的姑娘的创伤 the injuries of this pretty girl
所以我决定 So I decided...
离开这个伤心地 to leave this place of sorrow
你且先别走 Wait
就算走也要先放了我们才走啊 you should set us free first
回来啊…放了我们啊 Come back, set us free
但是在我走之前 Before I leave
我要公开这条村一个天大的秘密 I will disclose a big secret of this village
什么?我跟我老公离婚 What? I want to divorce
无非是想得到华叔而已 because I want to get uncle Wah only
不错!我是去过隆胸 Right, I've plastic surgery of my busts
但这是十多年前的事啊 it's been over 10 years
静一静 Quiet!
不要吵 Shut up!
秘密就是这条村有一个 The secret is, there is a...
宝藏 treasure in this village
真的?说来听听吧 Really? Tell me then
搞什么?这种谎话都相信 What's the matter? How can you trust such lies?
宝藏就在这个山头周围附近 The treasure is hidden somewhere around the mountain
你们自己发掘嘛 You should discover it yourself
要不要我掘了它出来再将它包装好 May I dig it out and
然后送到你家呢? send it to your home?
自己掘嘛!神经病 You should do it yourself, you idiot
分散呀 Dismiss!
珠宝呀 Jewels
珠宝? Jewels?
我老爸的儿子发财啦 I am rich now
是真的!真的有宝藏呀!发财啊 It's true, there is treasure we are going to be rich
难道你以为我是卖鱼丸的小贩吗? Don't you think I am a hawker of selling fish balls?
分头去掘吧 Go and dig separately
我们继续去掘吧 Let's go on digging
快去吧…快去吧 Go, hurry up...
宝爷…宝爷 Master Bo...
超哥 Brother Chiu
宝爷 Master Bo
超哥,太早睡不着吗? Can't you go to sleep? Brother Chiu
宝爷…宝爷 Master Bo...
让条生路给我走是吗? Do you mean to let me go?
推我下海是吗? Did you push me to the sea?
宝爷…宝爷 Master Bo...
转身一百八十度旋风霹雳穿心腿 180' Whirlwind Wonder Kick
不要嘛!宝爷 Please don't...
阿超什么事啊? Chiu, what's happened?
阿超丢了下海呀 Ah Chiu has fallen to the sea
还以为我出掌? Don't you think it's my palm?
不要吵!阿超下海去找宝藏 Shut up, Ah Chiu looking for treasure in the sea
你们继续掘吧 Go on digging
最恨别人从我背后推我下海 I hate others pushing me to the sea from my back
看你这个德性 Look at you
全身湿透啊!冷得你在发抖 you are all wet, you are trembling
你先将身体抹干吧 Dry your body first
谢谢 Thank you
宝哥,你面颊上有粒尘啊 Brother Bo, there is dust on your face
我已替你抹了 I have clean it for you
宝哥,不知还有没有其他宝藏呢? Brother Bo, are there any more treasure?
你很穷吗? Are you poor?
不是!我随便说说而已 No, I don't mean it
我去替你洗内裤吧 I am going to wash the underpants for you
宝爷…宝爷,阳春面好吃吗 Master Bo, is the noodle delicious?
你是中国人 You are Chinese
我也是中国人,大家都是中国人 I am Chinese too
迟些更可能是一家人 Maybe, we are one family in future
我们先做个好朋友嘛 Let's be good friends
大家都是大陆人啊 we are Mainlanders too
你才是大陆人!我是中国人 You are Mainlander, I am Chinese
大陆人,中国人 Mainlander, Chinese
大家都是上等人嘛 we are upper class too
刚才你借给我们开眼界的那粒玉 The jade which we are all eyes
原来那玉很有来头 is a valuable jade, you know?
我有位朋友一看见之后 My friend
就立刻出价十万元 gave $100,000 for it
看你的样子也知你很听教听话 You are obedient
我收你做小弟吧 I will take you as my fellow
好啊!多谢宝爷 Great, thank you master Bo
那我有什么甜头呢? What advantage do I have?
真阔气啊 It's too generous of you
不过你要答应我三个条件 But you should promise 3 conditions first
好的!没问题 Ok, no problem
日后,你吃我的住我的,但我吃定你 I will take care of your living but you should obey me
好的!没问题 No problem
第二呢? How about the 2nd condition?
第二,你要帮我找个处女 You'd find a virgin for me
处女比较难找啊,不过我会尽力而为 It's quite difficult, but I will try my best
处男却有一个,适不适合呢 How about a virgin boy?
第三... Third...
第三,没问题没问题 No problem, no problem
第三就是你不要这么烦呀 You should not be that troublesome
好的 Alright!
喂! Hello!
你在那里呀? Where are you?
我在这儿啊!宝爷 I am here, Master Bo
现今的女子最喜欢的是什么呢? What are the favorites of the girls nowadays?
钱!要不就是花 Money, or flower
要不要我替你松一松颈骨?宝爷 Do you want me to massage for you?
好的!什么是松颈骨呀? Fine, what is massage?
花香…鸟语 Wonderful scenery
小姐早晨 Good morning Miss
原来是你 Oh, it's you
是啊 Yes!
你来干嘛? What are you coming for?
我想跟你交个朋友 I want to make friends with you
你快走啊,衰相 Go now, scumbag
银票 The cheque
走啊 Go now!
你要我走?你跟钱作对吗 Do you want me to go? Do you want to go against money?
短路 You are idiot
短路是什么意思呢? What is meant by idiot?
死狗超,干嘛随处撒尿? Chiu, why did you piss everywhere?
难道在此拉屎吗? I pissed! Don't you think it was shitting?
宝爷,干嘛不跟我说话啊? Master Bo, why don't you talk to me?
干嘛大清早就玄坛般的咀脸呢? Why do you have a long face?
走错路啊 A wrong road
我今天替你安排了精彩的节目 I have arranged wonderful programmers for you
我们先去吃回转寿司 Let's eat the shushi first
再去打电动,然后去溜水 and then play TV games, and then skating
师父 Master
不用太讲究,随便替他料理一下 just fix him as you like
总之像个人的模样就是了 Anyway, make him like a human being
好呀 Fine!
你干嘛?不能剪啊 What are you doing? You can't cut it
大清律例留发不留头 It's unlawful in Ching Dynasty
如果被你剪了还了得? I can't let you cut it
不要留啊!剪掉它吧 Don't keep it, cut it
警告过你还要剪,去死吧 I have warned you, go to hell
警告了你还要剪?结辫子好吗?宝：l I have warned you, why do you still cut it? How about queue?
好的 Fine!
只替他结辫子 Just make a pig tail
这儿就是香港最兴旺的地方尖沙咀 This is the busiest place in HK Tsim Sha Tsui
这里有特别多的购物中心 There are many shopping centers
特别多的行人,特别多斑马线 many pedestrians
特别多计程车,特别多警察 many taxi, many police
特别多珠宝店,特别多电灯杆 Many jewel shops, many poles
特别多栏杆 many bars...
再过一点点的尖东海傍 In Tsim Sha Tsui East
不分昼夜总有很多人在顶咀 there are many people kissing
不分昼夜总有很多人在顶咀 Kissing
接吻啊 Yes, do you know kissing?
用不用花钱的? Does it need money?
不用的话我们去试一试吧 If not, let's go and try
有些要付钱有的却不需要 Some does and some doesn't
皇后不是一时三刻间就可以找得到 You can't find the queen in such a hurry
在找到她之前你就住在我这里吧 Before getting her, you live in my place
齐衣食住行全由你负担 About the living expense you'll be responsible
我是没有问题,我们是两兄弟嘛 I have no idea, we are buddies, right?
你家原来这么简陋 Your home is so simple
没有人服侍我,我是睡不着的 I can't sleep if no one serves me
找寻皇后是要车马费的 You need money to look for the Queen
这块烂东西也值三两百元 This cheap stuff costs 2 or 3 hundred dollars
快些脚下来给我吧 Give it to me
那就交给你吧 Ok, take it
计程车费十分昂费 Taxi fare is very expensive
我想到九龙去找一找 I want to look for her in Kowloon
脱下来…脱下来吧 Undress it, undress it
全给你了 Take them
行了!去深圳也行了 It's enough to go to Shenzhen
劳烦你了 Thank you
真低能 You're stupid
听说香港计程车是由九元开始算的 I have heard that the taxi fare starts from $9
真的假的 Isn't it true?
真的 It's true
这么高跌下一点儿也没有受伤? Are you hurt?
老兄,不要充英雄啊 Don't pretend to be hero
今天有什么好货色? What good stuff do you provide today?
没什么!普通货色而已 Nothing, just common stuff
明末清初,长平公主的胆石而已 It's the gallstone of Princess Cheung Ping of Ming Dynasty
我替你量一量吧 Let me measure it for you
你这混蛋!又用曲尺来骗我? How dare you cheat me again?
随便吧!数目对了 Up to you, the amount is alright!
明天我拿康熙的包皮来押 I will take the prepuce of Kang His for mortgage
行了!庆祝一下吧 Alright! Ok man! Give me a five!
大眼鸡 Hey, Big Eyes
进来吧 Come in!
你要找的那个皇后我正替你找了 I've got the queen you want
你要喝的热柠檬水,我也买了给你 I have bought the hot lemon water for you too
我要工作啊!你先放下来吧 I have to work, put it down first
你真勤力 You are working hard
这么丑!不会是她吧 So ugly, I wonder, it won't be her
这个我在夜总会见过 I saw her once in the nightclub
这科要学多久呢? How long should we take to learn this subject?
约两三年吧 About 2 to 3 years!
两三年? 2 to 3 years?
滚开啊 Get lost
没问题 No problem!
真香啊!你用什么肥皂? What kind of soap you are using? Its taste is good
不告诉你 I won't tell you
滴露? Antiseptic Liquid?
滴露? No!
洁厕粉 Toilet cleaning powder?
去死吧 Go to hell!
糟糕 Shit!
你害死我啦 You dragged me down
镇定点!坏了一部机而已 Stay calm, there is only one machine
我很快就会修理好 out of work, I'll repair soon
全部都坏了 All are on strike!
我去找师父来 I am going to call the masters here
去你的…去你的 Damn you...
你真聪明,知道我闯了祸 You are wise you know I have got some trouble
你叫我查的那件事快查到了 The case you asked me to investigate is going to be Ok
真的吗? Really?
半年之内 In half years time
我保管有消息!手到拿来啊 I am sure I can get the news
这算是人话吗? How can you clam this as the words told by a human being?
半年你也不能等吗? Can't you wait for 6 months?
去你的 Damn you!
今次真是去你的!还是走为上着 Let's run for our lives
下一位 Next
锺小姐是吗?麻烦你将手伸出来 Are you Miss Chung please show me your hand
右手 Right hand
你不介意拿着我那话儿吧 do you mind holding my stuff?
那话儿 What stuff?
是这个 This is the one I mentioned
谢谢 Thank you
淫贱 Cheap guy!
可以走了 You may go now
我今天晚上找你啊,淫娃 I will call you tonight
今天晚上我要上班啊,不如我找你吧 I have a night shift, let me look for you ok?
好的 Ok!
好的 Next
黄小姐是吗?你拿着吧 Are you Miss Wong, hold it
怎会是绿色的? Why is it green?
不红不金,究竟什么意思 It's not red nor gold what does that mean?
行了 It's fixed
请问你最近有没有被人占了便宜? Have you been taken any advantage by others?
没有!不过我最近有一次喝醉了 No, but I have drunken once
觉醒来就连贞操也不见了 When I woke up I discovered that I lost my virginity
到现在还没有寻回 I haven't found it back yet
那你有没有报警? Have you called the police?
没有啊 No!
你岂不是已不是处女了吗 So, you are not a virgin?
神经病!那有这么多处女呢 Idiot, are there so many virgins?
去幼稚园找吧 Go and search in the kindergarten
你们真是神经病 You are idiot
她说得对啊 She is right
下一位 Next
对不起 Sorry
不用道歉 No need to apologise
档案呢?…档案呢? Where is the file?
档案呢?快去找一找吧 Go and check it
用不着这么硬啊? Should it be that tough?
你也很硬啊 You are tough too
档案啊!档案在那里呢 File! Where is the file?
先别找档案吧!先料理小弟啊 Don't check the files, fix little brother first
把档案给我吧!看什么呢 Give me the files what do you want to know?
台怎么会翘起呢? What's wrong with that table?
美女是从泰国来的 The beauty is from Thailand
泰国的肉松也很美啊 The meat of Thailand is delicious too
泰国的榴挞更漂亮呀 The durian of Thailand is even great
是的 Yes
阿超,我出去一会儿 Ah Chiu, I want to go out
宝爷…宝爷呀 Master Bo...
是不是有东西给我把玩? Do you have anything for me to play?
是啊 Yes
技术不错啊 You have wonderful skill
小姐,我跟你真是有缘啊 Miss, we always meet each other
我们经常都碰见 remember?
你准备去那儿呀? Where are you going?
真香啊!你刚洗澡吗? It smells sweet, have you just bathed?
你是用那种肥皂的? What kind of soap do you use?
你还没有死吗? Are you still alive?
小霞,出城吗? Siu Ha, are you going out of the village?
是吗? Really?
死?不错!我每次见到你我就想死 Dead? Whenever I see you, I want to die
你真是口甜舌滑啊 You have honey lips
真的很滑啊 It is smart too
你怎知我的口很甜呢? How do you know?
更感觉到滑吗? How do you feel?
你去那里呀?载我一程吧 Where are you going to? Take me for a ride please
你丢下了我? Are you leaving me alone?
走得我要命 I am dying for running a long time
你别跟着我吧 Don't follow me
我也不想跟着你 I don't want it either
但不知怎的我每次见到你时 But I can't help
总是被你吸着似的 meeting you
我想,我对你产生了好感 I think, I have fallen for you
我对你不只没有好感 But I don't have any good impression
而且更有反感啊 of you, but hatred
这方面你可以放心 Don't worry, I'm confident
我有信心令到你对我不单没有反感 to make you change your mind
而且还会对我日久生情 I will make you loving me
我不会跟你人狗生情的 I won't be in love with a dog
你干嘛无缘无故说自己是狗呢? Why do you say yourself is a dog?
那裤子很漂亮啊 The trousers are pretty
很香啊 It smells good
甜心呀,这个人是谁啊? Honey, who is this guy?
这个就是我从前跟你提过的小霞啊 He is Siu Ha I mentioned to you some times ago
原来是她 Oh, it's her
你选我真算是英明的抉择啊 you have made a clever choice
你真可爱 You are lovely
他就是你新男朋友吗? Is he your new boyfriend?
不是新男朋友 No exactly
是未来老公 He is my future husband
你找不到最好的 You can't find any better
也用不着找个最差的啊 but you needn't find the worst one
不是啊!很合衬啊 No, it's matched
说得对 Really matched
这位兄台,你别以为高我一点点 Pal, how can you
就可以在公众场合侮辱我 insult me in the public area?
侮辱你又怎么样? So what?
兄台身边那位也不见得很出众啊 The one next to you doesn't seem to be great
她有口臭啊 She has bad breath
你说的是啊? You are right?
我说你!三八 I said you, bitch!
有种的再说一遍 Say once more if you have guts
你既然喜欢那我就再说一遍 Since you like me to do it, we'll do it
你不单只不出众,而且还有口臭 You are common & with bad breath
你不单只不出众,而且还有口臭 You...
我们别再跟这种没文化的人说话 Let's don't discuss with such uncivilized man
我们到那边吧 Let's go over there
甜心,我们去楼上看衣服吧 Honey, let's go up to see the clothes
你去吧!我在这儿等你 Go there yourself I will wait for you right here
混蛋! Bastard!
怎么样?什么时间有空呢? How is it? When will you be free?
我取你命 I want to take your life
甜心,我被人袭击呀 Honey, I was attacked
甜心,没天理啊!打得你这么伤 Honey, it's not reasonable they hurt you seriously
搞什么的? What's the hell!
打得她这么严重!你有人性的吗? How can you beat her so seriously?
谁叫她看着我? Who asked her to look at me?
你真是!竟然跟这种长发黑社会混 How can you stayed with the long hair
还出手打人 triad
你早晚被他们卖到妓寨的 You'll be sold to brother sooner or later
你无耻!下流!贱格 You are shameless, you are cheap
你干嘛打她呢? Why did you hit her?
应该打他啊 It's a must for beating him
你连我也打? How dare you hit me too
走吧! Go now!
你干嘛拖着我的手? Why do you hold my hand?
没什么!我很晕呀,你扶着我吧 Nothing, I feel dizzy, come and help me
我一定要告你 I have to sue you
我们的一切从纽约开始 Let's start everything from New York
洋鬼子的地方? The foreigner's land?
是纽约戏院啊 It's New York Cinema
洋鬼子的戏院? The cinema of the foreigner?
我跟他去看戏,是一出爱情故事 It's a love story
他说 He said
会像戏中男主角待女主角的一样待我 he would treat me the way that guy treats the leading lady
至死不渝,永不分离 Never ending love. Never separate
兄台,这些是不是鱼呀?新鲜吗? Pal, is it fish? Is it fresh?
当然新鲜啊 Of course it is
给我清蒸吧 Steamed it please
给我切得薄一点,太厚了 Cut it slim, no, it's too thick
清蒸? Steamed?
什么?你太可怜啊 What? You are too poor
这还不止啊!后来他找我 More than that, he found me
说要跟我订婚 he said he wanted to engage with me
怎知订婚前一晚才还未考虑清楚 But, the night before engagement we've not yet made up our minds
这是什么啊? What is it?
拖罗 Toro
放在水中灼一灼吧 Put it in the hot water for a while
我不太喜欢吃生的 I don't like eating non-cooked food
神经病 You idiot!
真过份啊 That's too much
是啊!他真是禽兽 Yes, he is beast
失陪了 May I be excused
她的身世真是可怜 Her life is so poor
但可怜也要上啊 But, you have to court her too
幸亏我随身携带着这半瓶‘淫七日 Luckily, I have brought this bottle "Perverted for 7 days" with me
看你怎逃出我的手掌? How can you escape from me?
反正都是淫,不如淫半个月吧 Why not perverted for half month? It'll perverted anyway
先生,灼过的拖罗啊 Mister, the cooked toro
谢谢 Thank you!
真的在这儿!你这混蛋 You bastard, I have been busy
我四处去帮你找皇后 searching the queen for you
你竟然躲在这儿吃东西 But you hide up and eat
你白费了我的心血啊 You wasted my effort
大不了我将心血还…不 Well, let me repay...
将钱还给你作补偿 repay you money, Ok?
那好吧!给我吃一口 Ok, let me eat this
不要吃 No
小姐,你没事吧? Miss, are you alright?
原来你在泡妞!总算情有可原 Oh, you are courting girl it can be forgiven
小霞,什么事?你不舒服吗? Siu Ha, what's the matter? Are you sick?
头晕吗?一定是想得太多了 Feeling dizzy? You must have though too much
我扶你到那边休息一会吧 Let me take you for a rest
你一定是伤心过度 You must have too much sorrow
先喝点 Drink some...
刚才有杯东西在此啊 There was a cup right here
糟糕了 Shit!
你干嘛?喝了你的汽水而已 What're you doing? I have taken your soft drink only
没有了!总之是没有了 No, everything is finished
你死定了 You will be dead meat!
我真的死定啊!又赚数十万啊 Am I dying? I will gain few hundred thousands again
你们先走吧,我来付账 You leave first, I will pay the bill
你必死无疑 You'd be dead meat!
来个猪扒蛋饭 I want a pock-chop rice with egg
要多猪扒,多蛋和多饭 more pork chop, egg & rice
要两碟是吗? You want 2 orders, right?
怎么样?到我家坐一会好吗 Will you come to my home for a while?
太晚了!改天吧 It's too late, make it another day
改天?霞妹 Another day? Sister Ha
其实我的遭遇跟你很相似 in fact, our stories are almost the same
所以我才会这么大胆向你 That's why I have guts to...
糟糕了!你先回去吧 Shit, you go home first
我要去看看阿超 I have to take a look at Chiu
你小心啊 Be careful!
很想吻你的面颊 I want to kiss your face
味香滑如吃新鲜蛋挞 which is as smooth as the egg tart
我要呀 I want it!
我死了 I am dying!
阿超 Ah Chiu
救命呀…我究竟吃错了什么呀? Help, what did I eat?
吃了后原来可以增大这么多 It becomes so big!
从前见你的就像毛笔一样而已 Your dick was like a pen in the past
废话少说!现在只有两个方法 Cut the crap, now, there are 2 methods
就是带你去找个姑娘 1 st, find a girl
就是我运功将淫毒逼出来 Or, I will push the poison out by using my Kung-fu
来吧 Come on!
别跑 Don't go!
阿超,你干嘛? Ah Chiu, what are you doing?
不要啊…我是男人啊 No, I am a man
阿超,不要啊…我给你找个姑娘吧 Chiu, don't! Let me find you a woman
救护车来了没有? Has the ambulance arrived yet?
我朋友快被人打死啊 My friend is almost beaten to death
你打死我吧…再这样下去 Beat me, if it goes on like this
我宁愿不做人了 I don't want to be alive
你这个混蛋还说?闭咀 You bastard, shut up
你竟用那东西插我屁股? How dare you use that to stab my ass?
你以为我故意的吗? Don't you think I mean it?
你除了屁眼之外 Other than ass, where can you get
还有那地方有洞呢? another hole from your body?
去你的 Damn you
元振,这位是我从罗刹国请来的高手 Yuen Chun, he is the Kung-fu master I employed from Russia
我有一个重要的任务 I have an important mission
就是派你们两个去 That is, you two should go to
百年后的地方追杀韦小宝 300 years later, to kill Wai Siu Bo
这个任务,只许成功不许失败 You can't fail in this mission
是 Yes
我想清楚了,皇后是女人 I have made up my mind the queen is a woman
全香港最多女人的地方莫过于夜总会 In Hong Kong, night club is a place which is filled with women
那就好了!你不要再骗我啊 That's good, don't lie to me
那里酒池肉林,肉体横陈 In the nightclub, it's full of fun
稍一不留心,就会被乳浪臀花打啤 If you don't take care you will be drowned by the women
宝爷,很疲倦吗? Master Bo, are you very tired?
不是!我怕会吐啊 No, I am afraid of throwing up
说得对 You are right
香港的美女不知到了那里去? where have the beauties gone?
宝爷…你怎么样? Master, what's wrong with you?
明白明白…知道了 I understand...
妈妈生 Manager
什么事?老板,有什么吩咐? What's the matter, Sir?
宝爷,你忍耐一点 Master Bo, be patient
妈妈生,那些女郎 Manager, the girls...
没问题吧? Any problem?
大问题呀!完全不合水准 They are not qualified
那怎么办? what shall I do then?
是吗?我给你换过吧 Let me change them for you
太好了!你也换掉更好 That's too good, change you too
女儿们,我们走吧 Babies, let's go
各位,真对不起…对不起 Sorry, I am really sorry
我快吐得没东西再吐了 I have nothing to throw up soon
她们走了没有? Have they gone?
差不多了 Almost
老板,小姐们合意吗? Boss, are you satisfied with them?
死了…我快窒息了 I am dying, I am dying
老板,你们好好享受吧,我走了 Boss, enjoy yourself, I am leaving
妈妈生,你过一过来 Manager, come over here
老板,有什么事? Boss, what's up
是不是小姐们不合你意? are they not good?
不合意的话可以换啊 You may change them again and again
不是!我不是对她们不满意 No, I don't mean it
你替我叫那个臭男人出去吧 Please ask the damn guy get out of here
那个臭男人?超哥是吗? Which damn guy? Brother Chiu?
是啊 Yes
超哥…超哥 Brother Chiu... Brother Chiu
什么事? What's the matter?
宝哥说要叫那个臭男人出去啊 Bo said, he wanted that bastard to leave here
那个臭男人呀? Which damn bastard?
是你呀!超哥 That's you
放聪明点吧 Be smart, maybe
他叫你出去可能有事要跟你商量啊 he wants to discuss something with you
好的 Fine!
宝爷,你好好享受吧 Master Bo, enjoy yourself
快去招呼宝爷 Go and serve Master Bo now
妈妈生,什么事? Manager, what's is matter?
你真坏!这么久都不来看我 You are bad why haven't you come in these days?
你还说 How can you complain me?
你讨厌!你那朋友也够风流啊 You are disgusting your friend loves fooling around
是啊!一个带五个 He takes 5 together!
看他何时染上风流病 Let's wait and see when he gets sex disease
财哥 Brother Choi
你是什么人?进来前竟然不敲门? Who are you? Why don't you knock first?
我认识他的 I know him
是我的朋友啊,我们好得要命啊 My friend. We are good friends
不用说了,你的样子也快死了 Cut the crap, you seem like dying
居然不招呼我?当我不存在吗? Why don't you serve me don't you think I am invisible?
出来 Come out!
没钱的话就别跟我抢妞啊 Cut the crap if you've no money
你打他我不介意 I won't mind you beating him
但你将妞们带走,这可万万不能啊 But you can't take the girls away
算了吧宝爷!生命诚可贵 Forget it, life is valuable
远离爱滋病啊 stay away from AIDS
你说得对 You are right
我岂不是要远离你?你像个屁精啊 So, I have to stay away from you you are gay
你怎知我是屁精呢? How do you know that I am gay?
看什么看? What are you looking?
很大啊 It's rather big!
阿叔,你这辈子有没有见过 Uncle, haven't you seen such
这么大的一条毛啊? a big hair in your life?
看清楚一点又不像毛啊 It's not like hair from a close look
没有毛是这个颜色的 Not any hair is of this color
但这么幼,决不会是 But, it's too narrow, it won't be...
是你妈个头阿 Damn you!
又没有点你的穴,定什么格? I didn't freeze you what's wrong with you?
火烧小红肠 Fire little sausage
究竟放了在那儿呢? Where is it?
原来在这!等一等 Wait, it's right here
什么事 What's the matter?
为了做福人群,为己为人 To achieve to the society work for the people, work for yourself
跟女人上床时的必备武器 To stay in bed with women you need 2 things
你收起它吧 Hide it!
你不想中标吧? Do you want to get sex disease?
这究竟是什么呢? What is it?
中标 Sex disease
我帮你吧 Let me help you
不用了!我自己会应付 No, thanks, I will handle it myself
很淡啊 It's tasteless!
险些儿忘记了,你也要舐 I have nearly forgotten you should taste it too
不用了...不用了 No, no...
不能不用啊 If anything happens
有什么事时我负担不来啊 I can't take care of you
来…照做吧,不舐不给你钱 Come on, do it accordingly or I won't give you money
有钱人真是变态 The rich man is always weird
等一等!交换吧 Wait, let's change
干嘛? What's the matter?
你吃得这么津津有味 You eat happily
你的一定更美味 yours must be more delicious
别再耍了,我们来吧 Stop playing, let us do it
不能这样,如果你是皇后 No, if you were the queen
我会被处死啊 I would be executed
你试试这个吧 Try this
不用试啊!保证你满意 You'll be satisfied
定要试!你先拿着这东西吧 You must try, hold this thing first
不是这枝呀 Not this!
究竟是那一枝呢? Which one?
幼的那枝 The thinner one
干嘛? What for?
红色?她岂不是个淫妇 Red? So she is a bitch
跟你来这地方的,难道会是处女吗? Don't you think a virgin will follow you to such a place?
来吧 Come on
不是皇后,那就可以上啊 Not the queen, that means I can screw her
今天晚上冷清清的 Tonight is quiet
看!他们是什么人呢? Look, who are they?
过去盘问一下 Go and check
老兄,在这儿干什么? Pal, what are you doing here?
你们是从那里来的? Where do you come from?
有没有身份证呀? Do you have I. D?
身份证呀?没身份证的话就抓你们 I. D? If not, I have to arrest you
喂? Hello?
糟糕了 Shit...
这儿没有人姓‘糟’名‘糕了’的 No one is called "Shit"
阿超呀 Ah Chiu
阿超?阿超外出了 Ah Chiu? Ah Chiu is out
你妈的 Damn it!
老兄,阿超外出了关我妈什么呢? Pal, it's none of my business for Chiu is out
你要问候我老妈的话 If you want to scold me
你要回到三百年前 you've to go back to 300 years ago
我来了 I am coming
来了?我会怕你吗? Coming? I won't scare you
我现在在门口啊 I am now by the door
现在?门口,这么快 Now? The door? That soon
开门吧 Open the door now
好的 Fine
阿超?来到了就按门铃嘛 Chiu? Why don't you ring the bell?
你怎么说起话来不清不楚的? Why don't you talk clearly?
如果被人硬要你吞下五个榴挞 If you were forced to eat 5 durians
你说话也会不清不楚啊 you would speak unclearly too
你要找的人就是他了 The one you want is here
干嘛用这家伙指着我? Why do you point at me with this?
我们是不认识的啊 We don't know each other
再推我的话我就动手 Don't push, or I will counter attack
雄哥,你要找我 Brother Hung, if you want to look for me
就打电话到我的传呼台就是了 just page me
用不着麻烦你这么多兄弟来请我呢? You needn't ask so many buddies to search for me
你这混蛋!没钱时就晓得来向我借 You bastard, you come to me when you have no money
有钱时不还却去鬼混 You don't repay your debt but fooling around
去鬼混也不打紧 I don't mind that
竟然胆敢跟我的兄弟抢女人 but how dare you take the woman of my buddie
抢输了却用邪门怪招来耍我的兄弟 You lost & you used some dirty stance to fool my buddy
差不多一星期了,没被蚂蚁吃了吗? It's almost a week haven't been eaten by ants?
雄哥,我怎敢耍你的兄弟呢? Brother Hung how dare I fool your buddy?
没有你那有我呢? You are my benefactor?
废话少说!快帮我的兄弟料理一下吧 Cut the crap, fix it for my buddy now
好的 Fine
宝少 Master Bo
好的 What's the matter?
解穴道啊 To set him free
小心点…慢慢来 Be careful, slowly...
解穴呀 Set him free
快动手 Move quickly
快些做完就走吧 Finish it then we may go
快动手吧!不要看了,那个是嫂子啊 Hurry up, don't look, that's sister-in-law
什么? What?
你在看什么? What are you looking?
我见到一只蟹钳着一只老鼠 I saw a crab catching a rat
十分有趣啊 it's funny
那老鼠叫米奇啊 The rat is called Mickey
后面那只蟹叫什么蟹? What crab is that?
羔蟹 Fat crab
扁他 Beat him
怎样称呼呢? May I know your name?
怎样称呼呢? Congratulation
叫我小宝就行了 Just call me Siu Bo
宝少,你以后跟着我吧…不 Master Bo, from now on, follow me, no
我跟你,我是你的门生 I follow you
不是吧,小雄? Kidding? Siu Hung
别说这种话 Brother Hung, we are buddies.
雄哥,我们同是洪门兄弟 Don't talk like that
你的事即是我的事 Your business is my business too
不是!不是 No, no!
我说怎样就怎样啊 You should listen to what I said
这位是嫂子吗? Is she sister-in-law?
是呀...! Yes!
喂?大吉利事 Hello? Wish you ever lucky!
喂?我是小霞呀,你在做什么? Hello, I am Siu Ha what are you doing now?
我在做爱啊 I am making love
你说什么? What?
我说…阿超正看做爱的色情带 I said, Ah Chiu is watching the blue tape
让我先去将电视机的音量调低 Let me lower the volume of the TV first
你将电视关上吧 Turn off the TV
他看了一半,我想他不肯关上啊 He doesn't want to turn it off
那么,你出来吗? Well, can you come out?
现在还不行啊 Not now
那什么时候才出呢?什么时候呀? When? When will you come out?
我想很快就可以出了 I think I can come out soon
出来了…出来了 Coming, coming...
这么静,你把电视关上了吗? It's quiet, have you turned off the TV?
出来是吗? Coming out now?
七夫人,你快点吧 7 th Madam, hurry up
你要想想办法啊 You should think something
找得我们这么急,究竟什么事呢? You want to search for us in such a hurry what's the matter?
你们不要吵 Stop quarrelling
吴三桂派了杀手去追杀我们的老公 Ng San Kwai sent someone to kill our hubby
糟糕了!老公岂不是很危险 Shit, he is now in great danger
快想办法吧 Think some solution
不要吵!双儿的武功最高 Stop, Shang's Kung-fu is the best among us
所以,我决定和双儿去保护老公 So, I decided to go with Shang to protect hubby
怎么这么久还没有滚呢? It hasn't boiled yet
让我看一看!你不要动嘛 Let me take a look, don't move
我忘记了发功啊 I forgot to use the power
你的餐巾歪了 Your handkerchief is not in the proper position
功发得太尽啊 I used too much power
滚了,厉害吗? It's boiled, isn't it great?
你以为我真的看不见你用脚趾 Don't you think I didn't see you
偷偷的将电掣接上吗? connecting the plug with your toes?
就算说了你也不会明白 You won't understand
来吧!吃东西吧 come on, let's eat
我买了你喜欢吃的鱿鱼和牛柏叶 I bought your favorite cuttle fish
你记不记得今天是什么日子呢? Can you remember what day is today?
什么日子?星期五嘛 What day? It's Friday
是关于我的 It's about me
真的这么凑巧吗? What a coincidence!
月…经来了 Your period comes...
你真坏 You are disgusting
很舒服啊!再打我吧 It's comfortable, once more
你打死了我没人跟你祝寿啊 If you kill me no one will celebrate your birthday
还说?你说过替我办一个意想不到的 You said you'd arrange an unforgettable
生日会的 birthday party for me
我什么也没有做过不算意想不到吗? I did nothing, isn't it special enough?
礼物也没有啊 Not even a present!
你骗我 You cheated me
当然是骗你啊 Of course!
皇帝送给我的!不是很名贵的 This is sent by the Emperor not very much expensive
你今天真漂亮 You look pretty today
我昨天很丑陋吗? Was I ugly yesterday?
不用说,昨天固然也很漂亮啊 No, you are always
今天是你生日 Today is your birthday
无论如何都要亲你一口来庆贺 I have to kiss you for celebration
我意思是想向你借些高利贷 I mean, I want to borrow some money from you, with high interest
什么意思呢? What does that mean?
即是脷‘利’上加脷‘利 I mean a wet kiss
很恶心的 It's disgusting
点也不恶心,还可以止渴呢 No, it's not disgusting, it quenches thirst
来吧 Come on
各位奇装异服,小如芝蔴 You, tiny guys in strange suits
破门而入的人有何贵干? what do you want?
你真斗胆,竟敢上我老婆 How dare you screw my life?
原来是雄哥,我那有上你老婆呢? You're Brother Hung when did screw your wife?
你以为穿成这个样子就会没事吗? Don't you think you dress like this and then it'd be Ok?
想封我穴道? Do you want to freeze me?
我想插你双眼 I want to stab your eyes
小宝 Siu Bo
看管着她 Take care of her!
不要动 Don't move
我在我老婆的手袋中 I found an underwear from my wife's
找到了一条不属于我的内裤 handbag, which is not mine
那你为什么还在笑呢? Why are you still laughing?
不,算是多一条内裤来穿吧 Why not take it as an extra one?
我找人监视我老婆 I asked someone to watch my wife
原来她真的背着我去偷汉 she really has an affair
你还想抵赖? How can you deny?
不错!成年人不做暗事 Right. I won't do secret matters
内裤是我的,雄嫂也是我勾引的 The underwear is mine I seduced the wife of Hung too
雄嫂这么性感惹火 Sister-in-law is so hot and sexy
试问世间那有男人不想跟 tell me which man isn't willing to
这种性感女神做朋友呢? make friends with this sex idol?
你说 Tell me
你说 What?
想不想上雄嫂? Do you want to screw the wife of Hung?
想!…不 Yes! No!
他也说想啊 He said yes too
老大,不是呀,他耍我而已 Boss, I don't mean it, he is fooling me
你想的话不妨直说啊 Why don't you tell me frankly?
总之,勾二嫂的杀无赦 Anyway, it's guilty to seduce the wife of others
你说错了,你是老大 You are wrong, she is the wife of you
她是大嫂不是二嫂啊 not the wife of "others"
情不自禁罢了!绝不会有下次的 I couldn't control myself, I promise not next time
傻瓜,我们是兄弟嘛 Idiot, we are buddies, right?
夫妇如衣服而己,是吗? Wife is like a dress, right?
说得对啊 You are right
衣服不可以同穿的怎可称兄道弟呢? buddies should wear the same clothes
这儿没房出租,你走吧 No room for rented, go now
雄哥,不要误伤无辜呀 Brother Hung don't hurt the innocent people
她是来租房子而己 She comes to rent the room
小宝 Siu Bo
带他进来,让他看看怎样做爱 Bring him in let him see me how to make love
不用了吧,我会很害怕啊 Forget it, I will be scared
雄哥的女人他都敢动 How dare he screw the woman of Hung
不将他大卸八块才怪 he'll chopped into pieces
大哥雄的手下? The fellows of Brother Hung?
你在这上上我的女人 You screwed my woman in this bed
我就在这床上报仇 I'll take revenge in this bed too
雄哥,你无谓伤害她 Brother Hung, don't hurt her
不是她勾引你的女人,是我而己 She didn't seduce your woman it's me who did it
不如我被你上…不…不 Why don't you screw me... oh no no no...
她只是贱货,无谓浪费你的时间啊 She is cheap, don't waste your time
贱货?贱货的话就一枪打死她 Cheap? If so, let me shoot her to death
不…不,她对着其他人就是贱货 No... she is cheap in front of other people
但对着雄哥时,贱货也变骚货啊 but in front of you she is changed from cheap to sexy
脱衣服!快点脱 Undress, now
雄哥 Brother Hung...
脱呀,快点 Undress, hurry up
脱呀,快点 Go
脱呀,快点 After them
快走呀…快走呀 Go now
跳! Jump!
想死吗? Want dying?
对不起!撞坏了一点点而已 Sorry, it's a little bit ruined
快走呀 Go now
雄哥 Brother Hung
你们快走!不要管我 Leave now, forget about me
快跳下来 Jump, quick
阿超 Ah Chiu
上车吧 Get in
追 After them
华叔…华叔 Uncle Wah, Uncle Wah...
干嘛大呼小叫的 What are you screaming for?
究竟发生了什么事? What's happened?
小霞,快拿些东西来让他咬着 Siu Ha, get something for him to bite
华叔,帮我将他反转 Uncle Wah, help me to turn him over
竟敢开枪射警察,谁这么斗胆呢? Who dares to shoot the police?
很痛呀 It hurts...
不用担心,没事的 Don't worry, it's alright
咬着它 Bite it!
放心,我用内功将子弹逼出来 Don't worry, I will use my power to force the bullet out
让我拿着些东西吧 Let me take the stuff
不用了!拿不拿着都是一样的 Not necessary, it's alright
他的屁真够劲啊 His fart is really great
这是正常的 This is normal
我有点不舒服,我要回去吃药 I don't feel well, I have to take medicine
好的 Fine
你再逼他 Will you force
会不会连粪便都逼了出来 his shit out if you keep on pushing him?
可能会 Maybe
有没有快感? Do you enjoy it?
太快了,什么也感觉不到 I can't feel anything for it's too fast
第一次吗 Your first time?
是呀!你怎会知道? How do you know it?
看见你的屁股就知道了,红红的 I can tell from your ass. It's red
真丢脸 What a shame
不用感激我 Don't appreciate me
我不会感激你 I won't
你不会生我的气吧? Will you be mad at me?
傻瓜!我们是朋友嘛 Idiot, we are friends
去死吧 Go to hell!
你干嘛 What are you doing?
勾引雄嫂你竟然不叫我一同去? Why didn't you ask me to seduce Hung's woman with you?
我替你约她下星期二吧 Let me make a date on next Tuesday, Ok?
恐怕到时我还未复原啊 I am afraid I haven't recovered yet
你还未复原的话那我就代替你 Well, I may substitute you
华叔,小霞晕倒了 Uncle Wah, Ha fainted
华叔,你代我照顾阿超 Uncle Wah, take care of Ah Chiu
我去看看小霞 I am going for Siu Ha
阿超 Ah Chiu...
阿超,你怎么样? Ah Chiu, how are you?
让一让 Give way
双眼翻白,手又这么冷 The eyes turn white and your hands are so cold
你们让开呀!围着她她不能呼吸啊 Give away... or she can't breath
你们出去…你们出去 Go out... go out...
再不走我就将你们强奸 If not, I will rape every one of you
你想得挺美啊 What a fantastic idea
镇静点!我正用龟波气功替你疗伤 Stay calm I am using my interior power to cure you
怎么你没作声我仍能听见你说话的? You didn't talk, but how can listen to you?
因为我发功时会跟你心灵相通 Because I am talking to you with my heart
互相可以听到对方心内的说话 We can hear the opposite part without talking
你懂得特异功能? You know special power?
不是功能!是武功 It's Kung fu
我告诉过你,我是古代人啊 I have told you I came from Ching Dynasty
不要用这种眼神看着我 Don't look at me like this
否则很易令我走火入魔 or I will drive crazy easily
很诱人的一双 Attractive...
不能看!会走火入魔的 don't look, it will drive me crazy
就算入魔也要看啊 But I have to take a look
太刺激了 It's too exciting
小宝…小宝,你没事吧? Siu Bo, are you alright?
没事!只是流一点儿血 Nothing special, I have lost some blood
算是新陈代谢吧 only, it's no big deal
小宝... Siu Bo...
怎么样?好了点没有? Are you feeling better?
很辛苦啊 It hurts
你觉得那儿不舒服? Aren't you feeling well?
我全身都不舒服 Yes, my whole body is not alright
这里…这里…这里 Here, here, and here
总之全身都不舒服 every parts of the body
真的很不舒服吗? Are you sick?
是呀!不知怎的,很不舒服啊 Yes, I don't know why, I don't feel well
你真的是古代人? Are you coming from Ching Dynasty?
你不信的话我可以证明给你看 I can give you proofs
如果不是古代人又怎会 If not, how can I know
懂得封穴道呢? freezing a man?
我不管了,趁机抱她一抱 I won't care I have to make use of this chance
我喜欢你很久了,趁机亲一口吧 I love you, let's have a kiss
趁机摸 And take this chance...
我告诉你,我现在就可以上了你 I tell you, I can screw you now
虽然我有轻薄你之心 Although I wish to
但我却没有非礼你的胆量 I don't have guts to do so
因为…佣俗的说一句,我很敬重你 Because... I respect you
对你有一点点,ove(爱情) I... Iove you
你还不走? Why don't you go now?
干嘛要扮君子呢?应该上了再说嘛 Why should I pretend to be decent? I should have screwed her
干嘛要扮君子呢?应该上了再说嘛 Siu Bo
不上她又怎对得起自己呢 How can I face myself of not screwing her?
你... You...
你想干什么? What are you doing?
我想 I want...
你想怎么样? What do you want?
我想 I want...
早安!弄早点给我吃吗? Good morning are you making my breakfast?
牙膏你吃不吃呢 Do you want to eat toothpaste?
为什么昨天晚上 It seems that
你好像300年内没干过那件事似的 you haven't done that for 300 years
你千万不要误会,我一向都是这么 Don't misunderstand I am always like that...
差劲的 I am that poor
你肚子饿吗? Are you hungry
我去买东西给你吃好吗 let me buy you some food
怎好意思呢? How can I bother you?
还不去 Why don't you go now?
什么? What?
你真坏 You are bad
麻烦 Troublesome
女人真的痴缠,麻烦 The woman is troublesome
门没有锁上,怎么自己都记不起呢? The door is not locked why can't remember it?
是不是忘了带钱 Forget the money?
老公 Hubby
糟糕了 Oh shit!
老公,有没有挂念着我呀 Hubby, do you miss me?
我每天都挂念着你 I miss you everyday
真的? Really?
是啊 Yes
这种地方怎能住人呢? How can you live in such place?
是啊 Yes
有没有找女人? Have you looked for any other woman?
不敢 I dare not
那么有没有去青楼、妓寨呢? Have you visited the brother?
没有!现代人不流行这玩意 No, the modern people dislike such things
累不累? Are you tired?
那你一个怎么解决呢? How can you solve your need alone?
个解决什么呢? What need?
靠双手嘛 Use my hands
左手还是右手呢? Right or left?
两只手轮流来用 Both hands
真是难为了它们啊 What a hard job for them
它们是自愿的 They are willing to do so
那女人是谁? Who is that woman?
谁呀? Who is it?
那个呀 That one
她?她是我同房间超的母亲啊 She is the mother of my room-mate Ah Chiu
她已经去世了 She passed away
她已经去世了 Dead?
这是什么? What is this?
这是…罩啊 This is...
罩什么的 What is it?
罩雨啊 Bra
罩雨? Bra?
你有所不知了,现代人很流行 They love wearing it
每当下雨时就带这个罩上街 in rainy days
它的作用是用来载着雨 They want to collect the rain with this
口渴时用来饮的 to quench thirst
原来是罩雨的 I see
大雨时用个人的,小雨时用个小的 When the rain is heavy, use big one when it's small, use small one
没有下雨时就不用戴 If there is no rain, no need of wearing it
老公,我们来了差不多一个月了 Hubby we have come for more than a month
那又怎么样? So what?
我们每天都看电视广告 We watch TV ads all day
我最初来时也很喜欢看电视广告 I love watching TV ads when I come here
你以为我不知道吗? Don't you know I am ignorant?
他们真的叫这些做乳罩啊 They called this as bra
老婆 Honey
用不着用大力鹰爪功手对付我吧 Don't use the Eagle's Claw to beat me
不要乱来啊 Don't! Stay calm
我死定了!老婆,不要乱来啊 I will be dead, honey, don't mess up
收弗屎‘图文传真’呀,帅哥 Come and collect the fax
什么屎呀? What fax?
你想找的皇后呀 The queen you want
皇后? The queen?
看看漂不漂亮? Is she pretty?
这么老怎会是皇后呢? That's too old
耍我 Do you want to fool me?
跟着来的才是真的 The one coming next is the true one
小霞…小霞 Siu Ha...
昨天晚上或是昨天下午 You went to bed
或是昨天早上你曾跟小宝上床呢 with Siu Bo yesterday...
你干嘛问得这么直接? Why do you ask in such a direct way?
糟糕了!你笑得这么骚 Shit, from your bitchy smile
你们一定是搞上了 you two must have some relationship
你一定会后悔 You will be regretted
我不会后悔的 I won't
小宝会啊 But Siu Bo will
小宝也不会啊!我对他这么好 Siu Bo won't, I treat him that nice
你不可以喜欢小宝的 You can't fall for Siu Bo
为什么? Why?
难道你爱上了我? Don't you fall for me?
不是啊 No!
不会的!如果你爱的话 I think so, if you fell for me
早就爱上我了 you would have fallen at the beginning
难道你是同性恋? Are you gay?
神经病!我是带枪的 Idiot, I am not
警察不会同性恋吗? A police may be gay
你说得对 You are right
你也承认了 You admit too
神经病 Idiot
你看看,你走起路来两腿张开 Look, your legs spread
还说不是同性恋? don't you deny you aren't gay?
最近我常到深圳骑马而已 I always go riding
还有,我看见你洗泡泡浴 I saw you in bubble bath
洗泡泡浴就是同性恋了吗 Does it imply gay?
我自小就洗泡泡浴啊 I love bubble bath since I was a child
我的房子不准同性恋者进去的 I don't allow gays enter my house
我要进去找小宝啊 I have to find Siu Bo
小宝 Siu Bo
救命呀!杀人呀 Help, murder!
幻觉!一定是幻觉 It must be illusion
你太爱小宝了,所以产生幻觉 You love Siu Bo too much so there is illusion
你也看见啊? You saw that too?
实不相瞒,我是同性恋者 Be frank, I am gay
我太爱小宝了,所以我也有幻觉 I love Siu Bo too much so I have the illusion too
情况实在太复杂了 it's too complicated
我们去按摩清醒一下吧 I have to wake myself up
是了吧?我早说过是幻觉啊 I said it is illusion
这里怎会有狗男女呢? No one is inside
爱一个人是没有罪的,但不要太沉迷 It's not sinful to fall for a guy but don't lose your mind
我们走吧 Let's go
救命呀 Help!
大哥,你控制一点嘛 Brother, please control yourself
你这样会弄脏小霞的地方 it will dirty the place of Siu Ha
我也想!但我控制不住她们啊 I think so, but I can't control them
你真的这么厉害? Are you that great?
这位清装姑娘一定是宋城做知客的 You must be an actress
关你屁事吗? Master Bo, how much is charged for hiring them to take pictures?
问价钱嘛 I just want to know the price
我要你给我解释 I want you to give me an answer
老公,我也要你解释 Hubby, I want you to explain
还未介绍啊!这位是 Let me introduce...
我太太 She is my wife
如果我告诉你她是妓女 If I tell you she is a hooker
你会相信吗? will you believe?
妓女怎会有这样好的身材呢? How can a hooker have such good body?
如果我告诉你她是妓女 If I tell you she is a hooker
你不会相信吧? will you believe?
妓女怎会有这么好身材呢 How can a hooker have such good body?
你说得对啊 You are right
我老实告诉你们 Be frank
你们两个跟我都有关系 you two are having relations with me
至于什么关系 About what relationships
我暂时还没想得出来 I can't figure it out now
老公,这个人是谁? Hubby, who is this guy?
又多了一个,这个差得多了 One more, this one is worse that them
既然我还未想得出来 Since I couldn't figure it out now
趁这个时候我们一起去吃饭好? let's take this break to have meal
算了吧!人不风流枉少年 Forget it, youth loves fooling around
你好色我是知道的 I know you love fooling around
你干嘛打我老公? Why did you hit my hubby?
双儿 Shang
小霞... Siu Ha...
你干嘛?你打算杀了她吗 What are you doing? Do you want to kill her?
干嘛你不追呢? Why don't you chase?
当然不追啊!那儿一个这儿有两个 Of course not, there is one and two are here
当然留在这儿啊 I should stay here
说得对 You are right!
有件小事刚才不敢打扰你 I have some matters to bother you
就是你叫我去找的皇后,已经找到了 The queen you want me to search for I have got her now
谢谢你 Thank you
皇后 The queen!
真似师父啊 He is like master
两位金姐,小宝能做得到的 Miss, I can do
小弟一样能够做得到 what Siu Bo can do
而且可能比他做得更好 Maybe, I can do better
不妨试一试吧 why don't you try?
试试他吧 Try him!
两个一齐上我也应付得来啊 I can handle both of you
小霞…小霞 Siu Ha...
小霞 Siu Ha
她究竟去了那儿呢? Where is she?
小霞 Siu Ha
糟糕了!皇后不见了怎能交差呢? Shit, the queen is missing what should I do then?
小霞 Siu Ha
你怎会在这儿? Why are you have?
我要你老实告诉我 Be frank
你是否已经结婚? are you married?
小霞,你走得很快啊 Siu Ha, you run so fast
不错!我是已经结婚 Right, I am married
但这不重要啊,傻瓜 but this is not important
你还不止结过一次婚 You have married more than once
是!但这也不重要啊 Yes, but this is not important too
你这就是欺骗我吧 You deceived me
不错!但骗你也不是很重要 right, but this is not important too
最重要的是,皇上的命等着你去救啊 Most important of all you have to save the life of the emperor
救命应该去找医生啊!干嘛找我呢? He should look for a doctor, not me
找你去做皇后啊 You are asked to be the queen
我有点儿头晕啊 I feel sick
先生,你真有眼光 Mister
这件明朝佩玉保存得很好 this jade is well kept
一点儿瑕疵也没有 It's perfect
色泽又好,又通透 wonderful jade
真的很通透啊 Yes, it is
给我看一看那件吧 Let me have a look of that
先生,你买古董而已 Mister, you are an antique buyer
用不着穿古装啊 you needn't wear such clothes
这件玉乳房是怎样得来的 How can you get this Jade bust?
先生,你真够眼光 Mister, you are really smart
这家伙是个年青人刚拿来卖的 it's just been sold by a youth
肯定是清朝的物品 It's made in Ching Dynasty
清朝人嘛,三妻四妾是很平常的 For people in Ching Dynasty concubines are common
糟糕了!连皇后也被我上了 Shit, I have screwed the queen
今次一定被处斩了 I would be executed
宝爷,其实你有多少个老婆呢? Master Bo, how many wives do you have?
你有两个老婆真令人羡慕啊 We envy you so much of having 2 wives
七个?真的吗? 7? Really?
加上她就是八个了 Plus her, total 8
让一个给我行吗? Can you give me one?
我不要拿剑的那个 I don't want the one with the sword
我喜欢戴着帽的那个,她皮肤够幼滑 I love the one with a hat her skin is so smooth
你去死吧 Go to hell!
神经病 Idiot!
对不起…或者让小霞给我吧 Sorry, maybe, give me Siu Ha
老公多讨几个老婆也不错嘛 it's not bad for hubby to marry some more girls
个女人服侍一个男人很辛苦的 It's hard for one woman to serve a man
而且,你没有到过清朝 You haven't been to Ching Dynasty
去看一看也无妨啊 why don't you go for a visit?
你看,我的衣服多漂亮啊 Look, my clothes are pretty
你看看你自己 Look at you
老公,差不多了 Hubby, it's almost ready
这样呢 Well...
你是什么人? Who are you?
你干什么? What do you want?
老公,什么事呀? Hubby, what's the matter?
你这是什么态度呀? What do you want?
竟要我堂堂的大清公主哄你求你 How dare you let a princess beg you?
你别太不识相啊 Do give me some face
皇后你也不做,你想做什么呢? You don't even want to be the queen what do you want then?
保护皇后 Protect the queen
双儿,你对付她 Shang, you handle him
拦着她 Block her way
是 Yes
不用怕!让我来 Don't panic, let me handle this
他是不怕子弹的!快保护皇后先走 He doesn't scare bullet protect the queen to leave here first
上方宝剑 The Royal Sword!
短短的也能要你的命 It's short but it can kill
糟糕了!小宝好像应付不来啊 Shit, Siu Bo having trouble
不用怕我老公应付不来的话还有我 Don't panic, I will help!
老公小宝 Hubby Siu Bo
看来他真的应付不来啊 He can't handle it
先躲起来 Hide up first
我走了!他的头太硬啊 I am leaving, his head is too hard
还好没踏到玻璃 Luckily we haven't stepped on the glass
压死你 Go to hell!
去死吧 Go to hell!
不要冲动!公主,不要冲动呀 Control yourself, Your Highness don't be that impulsive
不要接着我 Don't pull me!
你出去后谁来保护皇后…和我呢? If you go out who will protect Her Highness and... me?
了不起 Wonderful!
不要…不要走出来啊 Don't go, don't go!
蹲下 Kneel down!
蹲下 Shang
怎么样?要不要拔出来? How is it? Do I need to pull it out?
应该拔出来还是再插深一点? Pull it out or stab in?
扶着她吧 Help her!
你们还没有走吗? Haven't you gone?
你不能去啊 You can't go
你打不过他们的,快走吧 you can't defeat them, let's go
像只箭猪一样 It's like an echinus
快保护皇后逃啊 Protect the queen
好的 Fine!
我叫她们逃而已,没有叫你啊 I asked them to leave only I don't mean you
我留在这儿没有作为啊 It's useless for me to stay me
快叫我师父附在你身吧 Ask my master to adhere you now
齐天大圣急急如律令 Abracadabra!
不是这样子啊,看着办吧 No, not like this, watch me
床前明月眼长疮呀 "Scabies in the eyes, in front of the bed"
床前明月眼长疮 "Scabies in the eyes, in front of the bed"
怎么样? How is it?
没有效啊 It's useless
你一定是念少了一个字了 You must have missed one word
从前明月眼长疮呀 "Scabies in the eyes, in front of the bed"
是! Yes!
从前明月眼长疮呀! "Scabies in the eyes, in front of the bed"
行了吗 Does it work?
我不能再叫了,我不够气啊 I can't shout again, I am breathless
行了吗 Are you Ok?
师父 Master
师父你干嘛向上升呢? Master, why are you going up?
师父,不是上面,是那边啊 Master, not up, but that way
幸亏师父及时赶到 It's lucky for Master to come on time
打他吧,师父 Beat him
你不用怕他,他打不过你的 don't scare him, he can't defeat you
师父,小心他的头呀 Master, mind his head
师父,干什么? Master, what's the matter?
师父,干什么? What's the matter?
老公,师父呢? Hubby, where is Master?
师父飞得太快 He flies too fast
我不知他飞到那儿去了 I can't tell where he is now
救命呀…救命呀 Help... help...
宝爷 Master Bo
师父 Master
你叫我吗?我怎会做了你的师父呢? Are you calling me? How come I become your master?
快救我下来吧 Save me first
不能救你呀!他在你后面啊 I can't, he is at your back
师父 Master
他怕电的,快帮手拿电线 He scares electricity, gather the wires now
绑着他!不要让他动弹 Tie him up, don't let him move
每人拉一边 Pull from both sides
拉紧一点 Pull, make it tighter
电死你 We want to kill you by electricity
大家没有伤亡吧? Any casualties?
没有,那就好了 No. That's good!
原来古代人是怕电的!真没用 The ancient people scare electricity they are useless
你不怕吗? Don't you scare it?
老公... Hubby...
我有打算 I have a plan
老公,我这件衣服漂亮吗 Hubby, is my dress pretty?
你不要搞新玩意来吓我 Don't scare me
性感吗 Sexy?
真棒 It's great!
干杯!喝这么少怎行呢? Cheers, you should drink more
如果有假期的话 If there is holiday
定要来现代探我们啊 come to visit us
如果死不了的话 If I were not killed
我一定再来探望你们 I would come to visit you
早安 Good morning sir
耍我吗 Are you fooling me?
我还要泡妞啊 I have to court girls
早安! Good morning sir
华叔,我们去敬酒吧 Uncle Wah, let's go for a toast
还玩这种小学的游戏 You play such childish game
保重了 Take care
彼此彼此 You too
银? Silver?
是呀!电镀的 Yes. It's made by silver
你真的愿意跟我回去? Are you willing to go back with me?
我去加拿大探我姐姐 I have to visit my sister in Canada
好的 Fine
你为什么不愿跟我走呢? Why don't you go with me?
不如你留下来吧 Why don't you stay?
小霞满眼泪光啊,似乎是谈不拢 Siu Ha is crying there seems to be some problem
你保重 Take care!
先别走,我有办法 Don't go, I have an idea
有什么办法呢? What idea?
凭我九年的当差经验 From my experience of being a cop
办法只有一个,就是 there is only one solution
大家帮忙想一想吧 Think together
去! Damn!
皇上,韦小宝有负圣旨,理该万死 Your Majesty, I can't finish the mission I should be punished
枉我是九五之尊,竟然迷信误国 I am a king but how can I be so superstitious
差点儿断送了大清江山 I have almost ruined the whole kingdom
这本是三百年后的历史书 It's the history of 300 years later
记载着我有六十岁命 it's marked that I'll be 60 years old
还可中兴满清 And I can make my country wealthy and strong too
我怎会听你一派胡言呢? How can I listen to your rubbish?
来人,将国师收押天牢 Men, take magician to the jail
是 Yes
皇上!皇上饶命呀 Your Majesty, please forgive me!
你千万不要误会,虽然我多老婆 Don't misunderstand although I have many wives
但这并不代表我不够专 but it doesn't mean I am not sincere to them
这只是代表我感情丰富而已 It means, I am an affection man only
你看看他们 Look at them
真的很…爽啊 It's really funny
你用不着不好意思,我已习惯了 Don't feel shy, I am used to it
宝爷,你众多老婆之牛 Master Bo, Her Highness is
最漂亮的要算是公主了 the most beautiful one among them
不知我能不能跟他 May I...
你自己去问她吧 go and ask her
真的? Really?
来…来,让叔叔带着你们 Let uncle hold your hands
我们可以一起上路吗? Shall we go now?
可以! Sure!
介不介意我的手放在你肩膊上呢? Do you mind me putting my hand on your shoulder?
不介意 I don't mind
喜欢我泡你吗? Do you mind being courted by me?
喜欢 I like it
她叫我放马过去啊 She asked me to go ahead
真的? Really?
去死吧 Go to hell!