1
00:00:01,506 --> 00:00:02,743
There's no easy way
to say this.
2
00:00:02,777 --> 00:00:04,681
You have stage 2
prostate cancer.
3
00:00:04,716 --> 00:00:06,151
Is stage 2 good?
4
00:00:06,185 --> 00:00:07,622
Because I would
like a good stage.
5
00:00:07,656 --> 00:00:10,494
I want to be exclusive
with Warren.
6
00:00:10,529 --> 00:00:13,603
- Calm down or I'll ventilate you.
- Ventilate?
7
00:00:13,637 --> 00:00:15,373
- ( Rings )
- Hello?
8
00:00:15,407 --> 00:00:17,043
I want you to bring $20,000
9
00:00:17,077 --> 00:00:19,480
or your weird little friend
here is going to die.
10
00:00:19,515 --> 00:00:22,387
G4 rubber-bullet guns.
You need this. No discussion.
11
00:00:23,994 --> 00:00:25,529
- ( Coughing )
- Oh!
12
00:00:25,564 --> 00:00:27,970
Why did your friend
park on the lawn?
13
00:00:28,004 --> 00:00:30,540
- Mom, he's not my friend.
- You got the money?
14
00:00:30,574 --> 00:00:32,677
New Jersey sucks!
15
00:00:32,711 --> 00:00:34,782
Well, that was just rude.
16
00:00:35,297 --> 00:00:43,265
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
17
00:00:44,701 --> 00:00:48,708
♪ All the shadows
in the city ♪
18
00:00:48,742 --> 00:00:52,380
♪ used to love you,
what a pity ♪
19
00:00:52,415 --> 00:00:56,454
♪ I miss the questions
you used to ask me ♪
20
00:00:56,488 --> 00:01:00,561
♪ bored to death,
cut, mad and lonely ♪
21
00:01:00,595 --> 00:01:04,432
♪ bored to death, cut,
mad and lonely... ♪
22
00:01:04,467 --> 00:01:06,569
- ( coughs )
- ♪ Bored to death ♪
23
00:01:06,604 --> 00:01:09,073
♪ cut, mad and lonely. ♪
24
00:01:26,133 --> 00:01:31,039
you know, I blame myself
for this prostate cancer.
25
00:01:31,073 --> 00:01:33,876
If you have a character flaw,
26
00:01:33,911 --> 00:01:36,446
you're susceptible
to disease in that area.
27
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,048
What do you mean?
I don't understand.
28
00:01:38,083 --> 00:01:40,485
It's a new theory of mine.
For example,
29
00:01:40,519 --> 00:01:43,055
I had a great aunt
who lived up in Newport.
30
00:01:43,090 --> 00:01:46,059
She used her beauty
selfishly...
31
00:01:46,094 --> 00:01:49,397
got married four times,
always for money.
32
00:01:49,431 --> 00:01:51,433
And then she had sinus cancer
33
00:01:51,467 --> 00:01:53,436
and her nose had to be removed.
34
00:01:53,470 --> 00:01:56,473
- Oh my God, the nose.
- I know, very disfiguring.
35
00:01:56,507 --> 00:02:00,879
Now there's me. You know, I've
been sexually out of control
36
00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:02,681
for 40 years.
37
00:02:02,716 --> 00:02:06,353
I mean, I've torn
through people's lives.
38
00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:09,090
So my punishment
is prostate cancer.
39
00:02:09,124 --> 00:02:11,526
George, you're being
way too hard on yourself.
40
00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,528
It's not good for
your immune system.
41
00:02:13,563 --> 00:02:15,264
No, I'm not being
too hard, Jonathan.
42
00:02:15,298 --> 00:02:20,070
I've been selfish.
I've been living like a demented God.
43
00:02:20,104 --> 00:02:22,373
Well, I wish I could live
like a demented God.
44
00:02:22,407 --> 00:02:24,709
I've been living like
a demented loser.
45
00:02:24,743 --> 00:02:26,945
No, this is about me.
46
00:02:26,979 --> 00:02:29,481
Look, I'm the only one who's
allowed to be negative here.
47
00:02:29,515 --> 00:02:31,216
But I suck at everything.
48
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:33,152
I was broken up with again.
49
00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:35,655
I'm a lousy detective.
My parents had to bail me out.
50
00:02:35,690 --> 00:02:38,992
Name one private detective who goes
to his parents when he's in trouble.
51
00:02:39,027 --> 00:02:40,861
And I'm failing as a writer.
52
00:02:40,896 --> 00:02:42,663
I disagree with
everything you've said.
53
00:02:42,698 --> 00:02:45,066
There's nothing to disagree with.
These are statements of fact.
54
00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:47,803
I should probably just quit
everything and go to l school.
55
00:02:47,837 --> 00:02:51,141
Oh God no, that's horrible.
No, listen to me...
56
00:02:51,175 --> 00:02:53,844
Jonathan,
everything you do is f:
57
00:02:53,878 --> 00:02:55,879
Being a detective,
being a writer.
58
00:02:55,914 --> 00:02:58,149
Pay attention to a dying man.
59
00:02:58,184 --> 00:03:00,852
Keep doing what you're doing.
It's not boring.
60
00:03:00,886 --> 00:03:02,821
And that's all
that counts in life.
61
00:03:02,855 --> 00:03:05,758
George, you're not dying.
62
00:03:05,792 --> 00:03:07,726
You're gonna be okay.
63
00:03:07,761 --> 00:03:10,963
You're dating your doctor.
She cares about your prostate.
64
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:17,004
But I may not be okay.
65
00:03:18,973 --> 00:03:20,708
You know, I was reading
Joan Didion,
66
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:24,612
where she describes how her
husband died just like that.
67
00:03:24,646 --> 00:03:28,481
It just seems so unfair
that we can be turned off
68
00:03:28,516 --> 00:03:32,751
like a... like a switch,
like we never lived,
69
00:03:32,786 --> 00:03:34,620
like we never mattered.
70
00:03:37,156 --> 00:03:40,658
I don't want to be turned off.
71
00:03:40,693 --> 00:03:42,293
Okay.
72
00:03:42,327 --> 00:03:45,795
We both need to do a lot better
with our positive thinking.
73
00:03:45,830 --> 00:03:47,430
Mmm.
74
00:03:47,465 --> 00:03:49,965
What's something positive
we can think about?
75
00:03:49,999 --> 00:03:53,102
Uh...
76
00:03:53,136 --> 00:03:56,438
Oh no, that last bag
of pot you got me?
77
00:03:56,472 --> 00:03:59,307
Very dreamy.
Now that's positive.
78
00:03:59,341 --> 00:04:03,677
In my mind, I saw a dandelion
79
00:04:03,712 --> 00:04:06,179
turn into a tiger's paw.
80
00:04:06,214 --> 00:04:08,114
It was beautiful.
81
00:04:08,149 --> 00:04:10,183
Right.
82
00:04:21,559 --> 00:04:24,026
You're not what I had
in mind for a dick.
83
00:04:24,061 --> 00:04:26,961
I was expecting a piece
of beef... shoulders.
84
00:04:26,996 --> 00:04:29,597
Well, if you don't like my dimensions,
I thank you for the whiskey
85
00:04:29,631 --> 00:04:32,032
- and I'll be on my way.
- No no. No no no.
86
00:04:32,067 --> 00:04:35,368
I'm sorry.
You got expressive hands.
87
00:04:35,402 --> 00:04:37,702
That's a sign of intelligence
and I need somebody with brains.
88
00:04:37,737 --> 00:04:40,705
I'll take the compliment.
I'm short on them these days.
89
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:44,241
So what's the nature of
your problem, Professor?
90
00:04:44,276 --> 00:04:46,043
Do you break into places
for clients?
91
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:48,077
I've been known to.
What do you need done?
92
00:04:48,112 --> 00:04:51,280
Oh, I screwed up... bad.
93
00:04:51,314 --> 00:04:53,882
Look, I'll be Frank with you...
I'm a tenured Professor,
94
00:04:53,916 --> 00:04:55,917
but I'm also a junkie...
95
00:04:55,951 --> 00:04:58,018
functional.
96
00:04:58,053 --> 00:05:00,688
But I got in hock
to my dealers.
97
00:05:00,722 --> 00:05:03,991
I was desperate and I gave
them something valuable.
98
00:05:04,025 --> 00:05:06,593
- What did you give them?
- A signed first edition of "on the road."
99
00:05:06,627 --> 00:05:09,028
I convinced them it was
worth $1,000 on eBay.
100
00:05:09,063 --> 00:05:11,163
Wow.
I love Jack kerouac.
101
00:05:11,198 --> 00:05:13,932
What capote said about him
was completely unfair.
102
00:05:13,967 --> 00:05:16,301
Yeah, but I went online
after I gave it to him
103
00:05:16,335 --> 00:05:20,071
and I found out the book is
worth much more than I thought.
104
00:05:20,105 --> 00:05:24,174
I'm an idiot.
It could fetch as much as 75 grand.
105
00:05:24,208 --> 00:05:25,775
Holy shit.
That's a lot of money.
106
00:05:25,810 --> 00:05:28,478
That's right.
I could retire on that cash.
107
00:05:28,512 --> 00:05:30,813
And I need a new chair.
108
00:05:30,847 --> 00:05:33,715
You know,
when you're chairbound,
109
00:05:33,749 --> 00:05:35,450
hemorrhoids are very cruel.
110
00:05:35,484 --> 00:05:38,019
So where's the book now?
111
00:05:38,053 --> 00:05:40,220
I don't know.
But here's what I had in mind:
112
00:05:40,255 --> 00:05:43,123
Tomorrow their runner
drops off my bag of dope.
113
00:05:43,157 --> 00:05:45,692
You follow 'em
back to their base.
114
00:05:45,726 --> 00:05:47,693
When they're out,
you get the book.
115
00:05:47,728 --> 00:05:51,230
- Will you do it?
- Okay, I'll take the case.
116
00:05:51,264 --> 00:05:54,900
Ah, good. You come in a queer
package, but you got guts.
117
00:05:54,934 --> 00:05:57,335
- I had guts once.
- If you don't mind me asking,
118
00:05:57,369 --> 00:05:59,370
what kind of Professor
are you, Professor?
119
00:05:59,404 --> 00:06:00,938
I'm a novelist.
120
00:06:00,972 --> 00:06:03,206
I teach fiction writing
in the mfa program.
121
00:06:03,241 --> 00:06:07,343
Really? I'm a... I'm sorry,
I haven't heard of you.
122
00:06:07,377 --> 00:06:08,777
What books have you written?
123
00:06:08,812 --> 00:06:10,846
Just one.
It came out in '70.
124
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,448
It was called
"the music that kills,"
125
00:06:13,482 --> 00:06:15,183
about a homicidal
concert pianist,
126
00:06:15,217 --> 00:06:17,151
goes nuts from
too much practicing.
127
00:06:17,185 --> 00:06:18,819
Why didn't you write
a second novel?
128
00:06:18,853 --> 00:06:21,388
Because I was afraid to.
129
00:06:22,957 --> 00:06:26,626
( Girls chattering )
130
00:06:26,661 --> 00:06:28,795
Shit.
131
00:06:28,829 --> 00:06:31,364
- Emily: There's ray.
- Leah: Oh my God, it's ray.
132
00:06:31,398 --> 00:06:32,966
Sylvie:
Ma, look, there's ray.
133
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,801
All:
Ray! Ray!
134
00:06:34,835 --> 00:06:37,770
- Hey hi.
- Hi ray!
135
00:06:37,805 --> 00:06:40,472
Okay, girls.
Why don't you go with Molly Ann?
136
00:06:40,507 --> 00:06:41,606
Little ladies.
137
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,308
The girls wanted to,
well, you know.
138
00:06:44,342 --> 00:06:46,643
It's funny bumping into you.
139
00:06:46,677 --> 00:06:48,378
Ha.
Only in Brooklyn.
140
00:06:48,412 --> 00:06:49,878
Yep.
141
00:06:49,913 --> 00:06:51,780
What happened to your forehead?
142
00:06:51,814 --> 00:06:55,816
Oh that? George shot me
with a rubber-bullet gun.
143
00:06:55,851 --> 00:06:57,584
- What?
- It doesn't matter
144
00:06:57,619 --> 00:07:00,921
I'm sorry about
that night with irwin...
145
00:07:00,955 --> 00:07:04,290
you know, your lover
with the orange pubes.
146
00:07:04,325 --> 00:07:06,626
Yeah, I know who
you're talking about.
147
00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:07,960
But it's all right.
148
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:09,962
I haven't heard from him since.
149
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:13,431
Oh, good good.
I mean...
150
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:16,267
So did you...
did you read my comic book?
151
00:07:16,301 --> 00:07:19,503
Uh, I haven't had
the chance. I'm sorry.
152
00:07:19,538 --> 00:07:21,305
Did you listen to
the mix cd I made for you?
153
00:07:21,339 --> 00:07:23,807
I put Chet Baker on it because I know
that you like the shape of his nose.
154
00:07:23,841 --> 00:07:26,209
- Did you listen to that?
- Not yet, but I will.
155
00:07:26,243 --> 00:07:28,577
You should listen to it.
I mean, it tells the story
156
00:07:28,612 --> 00:07:30,646
of our relationship
in 18 songs.
157
00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:34,816
I kind of put them chronological
order from when we first met
158
00:07:34,850 --> 00:07:37,084
to the end part.
159
00:07:37,119 --> 00:07:38,485
Ray, I've got to go.
160
00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,888
Me too.
Yeah, okay.
161
00:07:41,923 --> 00:07:44,090
Okay, come on, guys.
162
00:07:44,124 --> 00:07:46,625
( Grunting )
163
00:07:50,830 --> 00:07:54,866
- Hey, is that leah?
- Yeah, you're late.
164
00:07:54,900 --> 00:07:57,235
That would have never happened had
you been here 10 minutes ago.
165
00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:58,636
Sorry.
I had insomnia.
166
00:07:58,670 --> 00:08:00,871
I masturbated like four
times to pass out,
167
00:08:00,905 --> 00:08:02,539
but I couldn't fall asleep
till 6:00 in the morning
168
00:08:02,573 --> 00:08:04,407
and then I slept late.
I'm sorry.
169
00:08:04,441 --> 00:08:07,109
So was it okay to see leah?
170
00:08:07,143 --> 00:08:10,245
No. That's the horrible
miracle of break-ups...
171
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,947
three years together and then you act
like you don't even know each other.
172
00:08:12,982 --> 00:08:14,482
I'm sorry, ray.
173
00:08:14,516 --> 00:08:18,153
Super ray.
Thanks for coming in, man.
174
00:08:18,187 --> 00:08:21,022
- Bob, this is my friend Jonathan.
- Hi.
175
00:08:21,057 --> 00:08:22,891
Hey, I didn't want to
give it away in my email,
176
00:08:22,925 --> 00:08:25,760
but your comic book
selling like crazy.
177
00:08:25,794 --> 00:08:27,962
- What?
- Yeah. It's a hit, man.
178
00:08:27,996 --> 00:08:30,598
You might want to think about getting
a legit publisher for this thing.
179
00:08:30,632 --> 00:08:32,600
I mean, look,
self-publishing is cool,
180
00:08:32,634 --> 00:08:35,034
but I think the demand's
gonna be too great.
181
00:08:35,069 --> 00:08:37,637
Yo, let me get your money.
182
00:08:37,671 --> 00:08:39,806
Yeah okay.
Yeah, get it.
183
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,375
Ray, this is wonderful.
184
00:08:42,410 --> 00:08:45,312
Are... are you the creator
of "super ray"?
185
00:08:45,346 --> 00:08:46,679
Uh, yes I am.
186
00:08:46,714 --> 00:08:49,215
- Could you sign my copy of your comic?
- Sure sure.
187
00:08:49,249 --> 00:08:51,850
We think it's so cool
that super ray gets his powers
188
00:08:51,884 --> 00:08:54,085
from his penis
hitting the third rail.
189
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,087
Where do you get your ideas?
190
00:08:56,121 --> 00:08:59,523
- I smoke pot, then I draw.
- That's cool.
191
00:08:59,557 --> 00:09:01,891
Um, could you sign this page?
192
00:09:01,926 --> 00:09:03,360
It's my favorite.
193
00:09:03,394 --> 00:09:05,495
- Sure.
- It's so romantic.
194
00:09:05,529 --> 00:09:07,363
Super ray really loves leah.
195
00:09:07,398 --> 00:09:09,632
Yes he does.
196
00:09:09,666 --> 00:09:11,867
Okay, here you go.
197
00:09:11,902 --> 00:09:14,236
Are you a vulcan or an elf?
198
00:09:14,270 --> 00:09:16,972
Oh please, I'm an elf.
199
00:09:17,006 --> 00:09:19,307
Right, okay.
Sorry.
200
00:09:25,213 --> 00:09:27,281
- ( Girls giggling ) - Girl: I
can't believe you did that.
201
00:09:27,315 --> 00:09:29,349
- I know!
- Holy shit.
202
00:09:29,384 --> 00:09:31,285
You're on a roll.
What's going on?
203
00:09:31,319 --> 00:09:33,520
I don't know.
But something is happening.
204
00:09:33,554 --> 00:09:35,455
Ever since I finished
the comic book,
205
00:09:35,489 --> 00:09:36,889
it's like I am super ray.
206
00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:40,792
I mean, aside from
leah crushing my balls,
207
00:09:40,827 --> 00:09:42,294
I'm feeling pretty good.
208
00:09:42,328 --> 00:09:44,629
It's cool. It's like
you're having some kind of
209
00:09:44,663 --> 00:09:47,031
a psychic transference
with your own character.
210
00:09:47,065 --> 00:09:51,568
Yes. Also my mom
gave me some advice
211
00:09:51,602 --> 00:09:53,536
from a self-help pamphlet
that she reads.
212
00:09:53,570 --> 00:09:55,971
She's always doing that because
of my dad's otb addiction
213
00:09:56,006 --> 00:09:57,439
and because of
her diabetes foot.
214
00:09:57,474 --> 00:09:59,274
- I forgot she has diabetes.
- Yes.
215
00:09:59,309 --> 00:10:01,176
She told me to visualize
216
00:10:01,210 --> 00:10:03,178
impossible things happening,
which I did.
217
00:10:03,212 --> 00:10:05,313
You know what I visualized?
218
00:10:05,347 --> 00:10:08,416
- Making money.
- I need to get that pamphlet.
219
00:10:08,450 --> 00:10:11,251
Super ray!
There's your money, ray.
220
00:10:11,286 --> 00:10:14,821
- Bang.
- ♪ Let's go have a drink ♪
221
00:10:14,855 --> 00:10:17,190
♪ right now and get drunk ♪
222
00:10:17,224 --> 00:10:19,358
♪ 16 gin and tonics. ♪
223
00:10:19,392 --> 00:10:21,626
it's not even noon.
I can't anyways.
224
00:10:21,661 --> 00:10:23,528
I've got to go to
midwood college for a case.
225
00:10:23,562 --> 00:10:25,363
- Do you want to come?
- Are you kidding?
226
00:10:25,397 --> 00:10:28,131
Last time I tried to help you,
George shot me in the head.
227
00:10:28,166 --> 00:10:31,467
George:
What would a police duck
228
00:10:31,501 --> 00:10:34,202
say to a suicidal bear?
229
00:10:35,704 --> 00:10:38,205
"You can bear it."
230
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,742
Oh God, that's terrible.
231
00:10:40,776 --> 00:10:44,012
I'm never gonna win this thing.
232
00:10:44,046 --> 00:10:46,180
- What are you doing?
- Ah.
233
00:10:46,214 --> 00:10:50,717
Um, I was just studying
"the new yorker."
234
00:10:50,752 --> 00:10:52,552
I had an idea too.
235
00:10:52,587 --> 00:10:55,621
Instead of the caption contest,
which is stupid,
236
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:59,158
why don't we let readers
send in cartoons every week
237
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,393
and we'll publish the best one?
238
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:04,795
You know, I think people will love that.
That's not a bad idea.
239
00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:07,264
I have a friend, actually,
who's a cartoonist.
240
00:11:07,298 --> 00:11:09,232
No, I don't like cartoons.
241
00:11:09,267 --> 00:11:11,401
All right.
242
00:11:11,435 --> 00:11:13,903
So I just came by
to let you know
243
00:11:13,937 --> 00:11:16,205
that all "edition"
employees are subject
244
00:11:16,239 --> 00:11:19,608
to a mandatory random
drug test this afternoon.
245
00:11:19,642 --> 00:11:21,342
A drug test?
Oh no.
246
00:11:21,377 --> 00:11:24,779
No, listen, that is not
in the spirit of things
247
00:11:24,813 --> 00:11:26,947
that I have cultivated
here at "edition."
248
00:11:26,981 --> 00:11:30,183
I'm sorry. But it's protocol
for all subsidiaries
249
00:11:30,218 --> 00:11:32,285
of Wellstone media.
They require it.
250
00:11:32,319 --> 00:11:34,420
All right.
I'll inform the troops,
251
00:11:34,454 --> 00:11:36,421
but they're not gonna like it.
252
00:11:36,456 --> 00:11:38,323
Well, the troops
already know, George.
253
00:11:38,357 --> 00:11:40,691
I'm just here to inform you.
254
00:11:42,194 --> 00:11:45,195
I have to take a drug test?
255
00:11:47,198 --> 00:11:49,632
As soon as he leaves,
I'll go out on this balcony.
256
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,400
Now you wait outside.
257
00:11:51,435 --> 00:11:54,503
When I spot him,
I'll give you this sign.
258
00:11:54,537 --> 00:11:56,705
I like that signal.
I've used it before.
259
00:11:56,739 --> 00:11:57,906
All right.
260
00:11:57,940 --> 00:12:01,008
I want to confess something,
Professor Hawkins.
261
00:12:01,043 --> 00:12:02,176
Yeah?
262
00:12:02,211 --> 00:12:06,614
You see, I'm also
a writer like you.
263
00:12:06,648 --> 00:12:08,482
I've published one novel.
264
00:12:08,516 --> 00:12:11,951
Oh no, I need a detective...
a man of action...
265
00:12:11,985 --> 00:12:15,320
not some effete scribbler.
266
00:12:15,355 --> 00:12:18,556
You've got to get that book for me.
I need that 75 grand.
267
00:12:18,590 --> 00:12:20,458
This chair is killing me.
268
00:12:20,492 --> 00:12:22,593
Don't worry.
I'm both...
269
00:12:22,627 --> 00:12:25,929
writer and detective.
270
00:12:25,963 --> 00:12:29,832
Uh, okay.
I get it.
271
00:12:29,866 --> 00:12:32,634
Yeah. That's good... a writer
needs to get his hands dirty,
272
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:35,903
be steeped in vice.
I knew you had guts!
273
00:12:35,938 --> 00:12:38,639
- Thank you. - You know, you
should write about your cases
274
00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:40,107
like Dashiell hammett did.
275
00:12:40,141 --> 00:12:42,675
Oh shit!
He'll be here any minute.
276
00:12:42,709 --> 00:12:44,844
Go on, get downstairs.
277
00:12:51,151 --> 00:12:54,620
Man: I'm definitely gonna
go to the meeting.
278
00:12:58,625 --> 00:13:00,926
Hello, Professor.
279
00:13:02,996 --> 00:13:06,997
- Jonathan? - Oh.
Hello, Louis. This is odd.
280
00:13:07,031 --> 00:13:08,996
What are you doing here
at midwood college?
281
00:13:09,030 --> 00:13:12,597
Let me guess... you're taking
a basic writing class.
282
00:13:12,632 --> 00:13:15,733
No, Louis, m not in school.
I'm on a case.
283
00:13:15,767 --> 00:13:18,736
Oh yes, I forgot about your
mental troubles in that area.
284
00:13:18,770 --> 00:13:20,837
Tell me, you weren't
a forceps baby, were you?
285
00:13:20,871 --> 00:13:22,872
Your skull
seems pinched on top.
286
00:13:22,907 --> 00:13:25,341
Shut up, Louis.
What are you doing here?
287
00:13:25,375 --> 00:13:28,243
I'm adjuncting in the English
department this semester.
288
00:13:28,277 --> 00:13:30,645
- You... really?
- Yes, of course.
289
00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:32,846
God, I would love
to teach here someday.
290
00:13:32,881 --> 00:13:35,315
I mean, this campus
is so romantic.
291
00:13:35,349 --> 00:13:37,684
And I'm already
very partial to sport coats,
292
00:13:37,718 --> 00:13:39,652
which is great
for being a Professor.
293
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:42,121
Don't be ridiculous.
You're not cut out for academia.
294
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,289
What are you going to do...
teach students how to write
295
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,624
without flair or talent?
296
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,826
Greene, what exactly is
your problem with me?
297
00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:51,662
Quite simply, you offend
me aesthetically.
298
00:13:51,696 --> 00:13:55,365
And I regret not thrashing you more
thoroughly in the boxing ring.
299
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:56,466
But I won.
300
00:13:56,501 --> 00:13:58,401
I feel, in retrospect,
that I performed
301
00:13:58,435 --> 00:14:00,503
in the more dominating fashion.
302
00:14:05,074 --> 00:14:08,443
What?
Do I have something?
303
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,180
But... where are you going?
304
00:14:14,214 --> 00:14:16,149
I'm sorry you're
so bitter, Greene.
305
00:14:16,183 --> 00:14:18,584
Must be difficult to have never
known the touch of a woman
306
00:14:18,619 --> 00:14:21,487
because you have the bloated head of
a pumpkin and breath like cat food.
307
00:14:21,521 --> 00:14:23,955
Well, at least I don't advertise
myself on Craig's list
308
00:14:23,990 --> 00:14:25,624
like some kind of whore.
309
00:14:25,658 --> 00:14:28,826
Calling yourself
a private detective! Ha!
310
00:14:28,860 --> 00:14:32,963
I suppose it's better than
calling yourself a writer.
311
00:14:40,437 --> 00:14:42,037
( Music playing )
312
00:14:42,072 --> 00:14:44,373
- Here you go.
- Thank you, maestro.
313
00:14:48,777 --> 00:14:52,947
Can I get a couple of shots of a nice
whiskey for me and the lady, please?
314
00:14:52,981 --> 00:14:55,149
Sure.
315
00:15:03,757 --> 00:15:06,759
Two more, please.
( Clears throat )
316
00:15:11,797 --> 00:15:13,464
So what's the big occasion?
317
00:15:13,498 --> 00:15:16,566
I came into a little bit
of money today.
318
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,801
So I guess you can buy me
another drink.
319
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,269
Sure.
320
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:28,276
Sorry about that.
321
00:15:30,913 --> 00:15:33,548
So what's your name?
322
00:15:33,583 --> 00:15:36,284
- Trouble.
- Trouble.
323
00:15:36,319 --> 00:15:38,920
That was my mom's name.
324
00:15:38,955 --> 00:15:41,990
Oh, that's good.
That's smoky.
325
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,458
- Two more.
- Sure.
326
00:15:44,493 --> 00:15:46,927
You could grow on a person.
327
00:15:46,961 --> 00:15:49,996
I have.
328
00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:52,364
So what's your middle name?
329
00:15:52,398 --> 00:15:53,798
Carol.
330
00:15:53,833 --> 00:15:56,833
Carol.
That's my father's name.
331
00:16:28,595 --> 00:16:31,527
Oh hey. Walter, right?
How you doing?
332
00:16:31,561 --> 00:16:34,959
I'm fine, but my name
is Steven, Mr. Christopher.
333
00:16:34,993 --> 00:16:36,460
Right right, sorry.
334
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:38,228
I'm just wondering, Steven...
335
00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:41,164
see, I took this
anti-diuretic
336
00:16:41,199 --> 00:16:43,633
and I am...
I'm very very dry.
337
00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:47,536
Any chance that you could
fill up my urine cup for me?
338
00:16:47,570 --> 00:16:49,870
I mean, it's embarrassing
if all I had
339
00:16:49,904 --> 00:16:51,905
was a few meager droplets,
right?
340
00:16:51,939 --> 00:16:53,473
I don't understand.
341
00:16:53,507 --> 00:16:56,442
All I'm saying is
a young fellow like yourself
342
00:16:56,476 --> 00:16:59,110
probably has enough
urine for two people.
343
00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:00,711
Now is that too much to ask?
344
00:17:00,745 --> 00:17:02,946
Excuse me, Mr. Christopher,
345
00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:05,716
I... I have to go look
at something on my computer.
346
00:17:05,751 --> 00:17:08,355
Ha! Ha.
All right.
347
00:17:08,389 --> 00:17:11,258
Shit.
348
00:17:11,292 --> 00:17:14,360
Hey.
Bobby, right?
349
00:17:14,395 --> 00:17:16,128
How old are you?
350
00:17:36,814 --> 00:17:39,115
( Cell phone ringing )
351
00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:43,119
George, listen...
352
00:17:43,153 --> 00:17:45,521
Jonathan, Jonathan,
how long does marijuana
353
00:17:45,555 --> 00:17:48,323
stay in a person's system?
Is it more than 24 hours?
354
00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:51,426
- I'm not sure. Listen... - Well, shit,
you're supposed to know these things.
355
00:17:51,460 --> 00:17:53,194
Why?
I'm not an expert.
356
00:17:53,228 --> 00:17:56,830
I did hear something about marijuana
staying in our fatty tissues...
357
00:17:56,865 --> 00:17:58,165
- oh oh.
- What the fuck are you doing?
358
00:17:58,199 --> 00:17:59,933
- George, I have to go.
- No no!
359
00:17:59,967 --> 00:18:03,035
I need help. Oh.
360
00:18:03,070 --> 00:18:05,904
I was just inspecting
the ceiling of your window here
361
00:18:05,939 --> 00:18:07,706
and you're definitely at
risk for leakage.
362
00:18:07,740 --> 00:18:10,208
You a fuckin' cop?
You look like a cop.
363
00:18:10,242 --> 00:18:11,743
I do?
364
00:18:21,152 --> 00:18:23,352
( Muttering )
365
00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:37,397
Oh no, that's...
366
00:18:38,299 --> 00:18:39,799
( Blowing )
367
00:18:39,834 --> 00:18:41,534
I swear I'm not a cop.
368
00:18:41,569 --> 00:18:44,437
I was just walking by
and I was drawn to your window.
369
00:18:44,471 --> 00:18:47,806
I admit it...
370
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,807
I'm a voyeur.
371
00:18:49,841 --> 00:18:51,975
What the fuck is a voyeur?
372
00:18:52,010 --> 00:18:54,444
You know, like a peeping Tom.
373
00:18:54,479 --> 00:18:57,514
- Who the fuck is Tom?
- Yeah, who the fuck is that?
374
00:18:59,516 --> 00:19:01,450
( Match strikes )
375
00:19:05,754 --> 00:19:09,323
How'd you get that band-aid?
376
00:19:09,358 --> 00:19:11,325
Police work with friends.
377
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:16,397
Mmm. That's sexy.
378
00:19:16,431 --> 00:19:20,066
Mmm. My God,
mm-hmm. Look at this thing.
379
00:19:20,101 --> 00:19:21,167
Mm-hmm.
380
00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:23,336
It's so beardy.
381
00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:24,803
Mm-hmm.
382
00:19:24,838 --> 00:19:27,238
I want to go down on it.
383
00:19:30,475 --> 00:19:32,308
I don't like that.
384
00:19:32,342 --> 00:19:34,943
- My dad had a beard.
- Mmm.
385
00:19:34,978 --> 00:19:38,512
He died when I was 16
of esophageal hemorrhages...
386
00:19:38,547 --> 00:19:40,780
From drinking.
387
00:19:40,815 --> 00:19:43,116
- I'm gonna be a dad.
- Mmm?
388
00:19:43,151 --> 00:19:46,653
These two lesbians
in ditmas park
389
00:19:46,687 --> 00:19:48,288
got ahold of my sperm
390
00:19:48,322 --> 00:19:50,991
and they're
six months' pregnant.
391
00:19:51,025 --> 00:19:54,293
I don't know if I'm ever gonna
ballowed to see the child, but...
392
00:19:54,328 --> 00:19:56,529
I don't want to hear
about your other women.
393
00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:58,230
Sorry.
394
00:20:01,835 --> 00:20:03,768
Boop boop.
395
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:05,837
( Gagging )
396
00:20:10,374 --> 00:20:13,008
You should let me go
and hurt him.
397
00:20:13,043 --> 00:20:16,044
I'm just a writer. I'm doing a
piece on him for "the new yorker."
398
00:20:16,078 --> 00:20:18,912
- You are? - I was thinking about
a "talk of the town" piece.
399
00:20:18,947 --> 00:20:22,014
You know, they're always about marginal
crackpots living on the edge of reality...
400
00:20:22,048 --> 00:20:24,884
your whole Walter mitty delusion
about being a detective.
401
00:20:24,918 --> 00:20:27,187
See, these motherfuckers
are detectives.
402
00:20:27,221 --> 00:20:28,321
- No no no!
- Listen, guys, guys!
403
00:20:28,356 --> 00:20:30,559
We are not undercover cops.
I swear.
404
00:20:30,594 --> 00:20:33,098
I'll buy pot from you.
Would a cop buy pot?
405
00:20:33,133 --> 00:20:35,066
I have a friend...
he has cancer.
406
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:38,369
He needs marijuana.
Now my own dealer disappeared recently.
407
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:40,371
That's probably because
you put him away.
408
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:42,406
Yeah, don't try that
entrapment bullshit, assholes.
409
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:45,542
There's only one way to know
whether a cop is a cop.
410
00:20:45,576 --> 00:20:47,210
Here you go.
411
00:20:47,244 --> 00:20:50,179
Snort this, 5-0,
and show us you ain't a cop.
412
00:20:50,214 --> 00:20:52,515
I refuse.
That house key is very dirty
413
00:20:52,549 --> 00:20:54,850
and I've never done anything
stronger than a vodka gimlet.
414
00:20:54,885 --> 00:20:56,585
- So...
- Snort it.
415
00:20:56,620 --> 00:20:58,186
- I just couldn't...
- Snort it.
416
00:20:58,221 --> 00:20:59,721
I have terrible nasal polyps.
417
00:20:59,755 --> 00:21:02,890
( Men shouting )
418
00:21:09,663 --> 00:21:11,664
- Run!
- It says "don't walk."
419
00:21:11,698 --> 00:21:13,465
Just run!
420
00:21:20,438 --> 00:21:23,439
You know, I still can't believe
you thought for a moment
421
00:21:23,474 --> 00:21:25,442
that you could teach
at midwood college.
422
00:21:25,476 --> 00:21:27,444
Would you just shut up?
I could teach there.
423
00:21:27,478 --> 00:21:29,479
I'm teaching at metropolitan
writers workshop.
424
00:21:29,513 --> 00:21:31,314
Ha!
That rip-off night school?
425
00:21:31,349 --> 00:21:34,184
The only students there
are ex-cons and subnormals.
426
00:21:34,218 --> 00:21:35,519
Ah! Fuckety!
427
00:21:35,553 --> 00:21:38,821
Oh shit. Come on.
Come on.
428
00:21:38,856 --> 00:21:40,289
Come on.
429
00:21:40,324 --> 00:21:41,590
Ah!
430
00:21:41,625 --> 00:21:43,559
( Both grunting )
431
00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:46,194
I can't.
I can't go on.
432
00:21:46,228 --> 00:21:47,795
Oh, listen to me.
433
00:21:47,830 --> 00:21:50,531
You bastard.
You've reduced my life to a b movie.
434
00:21:50,565 --> 00:21:53,199
( Grunts ) You know, go
get help, you idiot.
435
00:21:53,233 --> 00:21:55,367
I'll hide behind these logs.
436
00:21:55,402 --> 00:21:59,104
Okay.
I'll be back.
437
00:21:59,138 --> 00:22:01,039
I just want you to know
that even though
438
00:22:01,073 --> 00:22:02,974
you're the most horrible
person I've ever met,
439
00:22:03,008 --> 00:22:05,174
- I won't leave you here to die.
- Go, you idiot!
440
00:22:05,209 --> 00:22:07,674
Oh, sentimental claptrap.
441
00:22:07,709 --> 00:22:09,976
( Men chattering )
442
00:22:10,010 --> 00:22:12,411
- Follow his footprints!
- Turn right.
443
00:22:12,446 --> 00:22:14,477
- All right, all right.
- I don't see him!
444
00:22:14,512 --> 00:22:16,912
Oh, come on, man.
445
00:22:27,423 --> 00:22:30,525
Louis:
446
00:22:30,559 --> 00:22:33,228
( Men taunting )
447
00:22:33,262 --> 00:22:35,763
( All shouting )
448
00:22:35,797 --> 00:22:37,231
( Man laughing )
449
00:22:37,265 --> 00:22:39,098
What are you looking for?
What you lookin' for?
450
00:22:40,167 --> 00:22:42,367
Oh, you didn't.
451
00:22:48,673 --> 00:22:51,275
Get away from me.
452
00:22:51,309 --> 00:22:53,710
Sighs )
453
00:23:02,319 --> 00:23:04,153
Come here.
Come on.
454
00:23:04,187 --> 00:23:05,555
Let's go.
455
00:23:05,589 --> 00:23:06,989
- Ah!
- This way.
456
00:23:07,024 --> 00:23:08,691
Gotta get my bag of pot
and the book.
457
00:23:08,726 --> 00:23:10,693
My ankle will never
be the same because of you.
458
00:23:10,727 --> 00:23:12,728
Shut up, Louis.
I just saved your life.
459
00:23:14,865 --> 00:23:16,230
( Knocking )
460
00:23:16,264 --> 00:23:18,596
George, we need to talk.
461
00:23:18,630 --> 00:23:20,731
Sure, come on in.
462
00:23:20,765 --> 00:23:25,335
I'm working on my column,
but it can wait for you.
463
00:23:25,369 --> 00:23:28,271
I'm going to speak very slowly
464
00:23:28,305 --> 00:23:30,939
because you're probably
stoned right now.
465
00:23:30,974 --> 00:23:33,441
Your urine
466
00:23:33,476 --> 00:23:36,044
tested off the charts
467
00:23:38,213 --> 00:23:39,246
what? For thc.
468
00:23:39,281 --> 00:23:42,015
You already got the results?
469
00:23:42,050 --> 00:23:44,818
Onsite lab, George...
very high-tech.
470
00:23:44,852 --> 00:23:47,353
And adding soap
to your specimen
471
00:23:47,387 --> 00:23:48,988
wasn't very clever.
472
00:23:49,022 --> 00:23:52,190
Soap? Oh no.
There must be a mistake.
473
00:23:52,225 --> 00:23:55,059
I mean, it happens
all the time at the Olympics...
474
00:23:55,094 --> 00:23:58,362
somebody's sample gets
confused with somebody else's.
475
00:23:58,396 --> 00:24:00,998
You know, I've noticed
that Walter has...
476
00:24:01,032 --> 00:24:04,701
Steven has sometimes very red beady eyes.
Have you...
477
00:24:04,735 --> 00:24:07,670
George, you're going
to have to go to rehab.
478
00:24:07,704 --> 00:24:10,572
Company policy.
We usually send people
479
00:24:10,607 --> 00:24:12,808
to a very nice place
in Arizona.
480
00:24:12,842 --> 00:24:14,443
Ariz... oh Jesus.
481
00:24:14,477 --> 00:24:17,211
The dry air is
good for sobriety.
482
00:24:23,284 --> 00:24:25,785
Katherine?
483
00:24:25,819 --> 00:24:27,854
I haven't wanted to tell anyone
484
00:24:27,888 --> 00:24:31,890
because I didn't want to frighten
anyone here at the office,
485
00:24:31,925 --> 00:24:35,293
- but I have prostate cancer.
- What?
486
00:24:35,327 --> 00:24:37,628
I can get you a doctor's note
and everything.
487
00:24:37,663 --> 00:24:41,031
I admit I've been
smoking marijuana,
488
00:24:41,065 --> 00:24:43,433
but for medicinal purposes.
489
00:24:43,468 --> 00:24:45,802
It's why I failed
the drug test.
490
00:24:45,836 --> 00:24:49,471
Oh, George, I'm very
sorry about your cancer.
491
00:24:49,506 --> 00:24:52,740
It's okay. It's... I'm sure
everything will turn out all right.
492
00:24:52,774 --> 00:24:54,742
My doctor is wonderful.
493
00:24:54,776 --> 00:24:57,210
We started dating, actually.
494
00:24:57,245 --> 00:25:00,480
You're dating your doctor?
Did you get a second opinion?
495
00:25:00,514 --> 00:25:04,317
No no, but you know,
she has very good taste.
496
00:25:04,352 --> 00:25:08,053
So no no, I trust her.
497
00:25:08,087 --> 00:25:10,689
All right.
Well, you'll let me know
498
00:25:10,723 --> 00:25:12,858
if there's anything
I can do to help.
499
00:25:12,892 --> 00:25:14,659
Of course, Katherine.
500
00:25:14,693 --> 00:25:15,960
Okay.
501
00:25:22,065 --> 00:25:24,066
( Laughing )
502
00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:27,435
♪ I don't have to
go to rehab. ♪
503
00:25:27,469 --> 00:25:31,304
I have cancer.
( Laughs )
504
00:25:38,777 --> 00:25:41,512
Jonathan: So Greene is
down on the ground
505
00:25:41,546 --> 00:25:43,314
like piggy in
"lord of the flies"
506
00:25:43,348 --> 00:25:45,148
and I just can't
leave him there.
507
00:25:45,183 --> 00:25:48,852
So I swoop in... hyah hyah!
508
00:25:48,886 --> 00:25:51,054
Hyah hyah! Bam!
509
00:25:51,089 --> 00:25:53,690
I mean, it was like I was having
an out-of-body experience.
510
00:25:53,724 --> 00:25:56,392
I took them all out, George.
It was incredible.
511
00:25:56,427 --> 00:25:58,593
I am so proud of you, dear boy.
512
00:25:58,628 --> 00:26:01,396
I think it's because of this
pamphlet that ray's mom read.
513
00:26:01,430 --> 00:26:03,666
It's all about visualizing
delusional things
514
00:26:03,700 --> 00:26:07,271
- and then believing in them.
- Isn't that like schizophrenia?
515
00:26:07,305 --> 00:26:10,174
You have a point.
Maybe just as an exercise,
516
00:26:10,208 --> 00:26:12,878
you should visualize that
your prostate is cancer-free.
517
00:26:12,912 --> 00:26:16,849
You know I have an open mind to all these things.
I'll try anything.
518
00:26:16,883 --> 00:26:18,450
Good. I'm gonna try.
519
00:26:18,485 --> 00:26:20,918
I'm gonna visualize three
delusional things for myself...
520
00:26:20,953 --> 00:26:24,088
that I'm a successful writer,
detective and college Professor.
521
00:26:24,122 --> 00:26:26,256
I like all those
professions for you.
522
00:26:26,291 --> 00:26:28,524
Yeah. And what's good
about all these jobs
523
00:26:28,558 --> 00:26:31,859
is you wear basically the
same outfit... sport coats...
524
00:26:31,894 --> 00:26:34,161
so you save money.
And I look good in them.
525
00:26:34,195 --> 00:26:36,597
- ( Laughs ) - Can I show you
again how I took them all out?
526
00:26:36,631 --> 00:26:38,332
- Of course.
- Okay.
527
00:26:38,367 --> 00:26:40,334
So here I am standing
in the trees, right?
528
00:26:40,368 --> 00:26:42,102
Now Greene is down
on the ground here
529
00:26:42,137 --> 00:26:43,537
and he's looking
for his glasses.
530
00:26:43,571 --> 00:26:45,505
That's my favorite part.
531
00:26:45,540 --> 00:26:48,108
Now I'm here.
I go like that...
532
00:26:48,142 --> 00:26:50,910
( Music playing )
533
00:27:04,020 --> 00:27:07,221
( Ray snoring )
534
00:27:07,256 --> 00:27:09,956
Where am I?
535
00:27:09,991 --> 00:27:11,958
Who are you?
536
00:27:11,992 --> 00:27:14,226
I'll tell you later.
537
00:27:16,166 --> 00:27:19,368
Whatever you do,
do not flush the toilet.
538
00:27:25,107 --> 00:27:28,276
( Snoring )
539
00:27:31,446 --> 00:27:39,347
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
540
00:27:39,353 --> 00:27:42,454
♪ Well, I'm the friendly
stranger in the black sedan ♪
541
00:27:42,489 --> 00:27:44,789
♪ won't you hop
inside my car? ♪
542
00:27:44,823 --> 00:27:47,091
♪ I got pictures, candy,
I'm a loveable man ♪
543
00:27:47,125 --> 00:27:49,493
♪ and I could take you
to the nearest star ♪
544
00:27:49,528 --> 00:27:51,528
♪ I'm your vehicle, babe ♪
545
00:27:51,563 --> 00:27:54,130
♪ I'll take you anywhere
you want to go ♪
546
00:27:54,165 --> 00:27:56,065
♪ I'm your vehicle, woman ♪
547
00:27:56,100 --> 00:27:58,301
♪ by now I'm sure
you know ♪
548
00:27:58,335 --> 00:28:00,002
- ♪ that I love ya ♪
- ♪ Love ya ♪
549
00:28:00,036 --> 00:28:01,369
- ♪ I need ya ♪
- ♪ Need ya ♪
550
00:28:01,404 --> 00:28:04,105
♪ I want ya,
I got to have ya ♪
551
00:28:04,139 --> 00:28:08,676
♪ great God in heaven,
you know I love you ♪
552
00:28:08,710 --> 00:28:11,412
♪ and I'm your vehicle,
babe ♪
553
00:28:12,547 --> 00:28:14,347
♪ all right ♪
554
00:28:14,382 --> 00:28:16,316
- ♪ you know I love ya ♪
- ♪ Love ya ♪
555
00:28:16,350 --> 00:28:17,750
- ♪ I need ya ♪
- ♪ Need ya ♪
556
00:28:17,785 --> 00:28:20,486
♪ I want ya,
I got to have ya, child ♪
557
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:22,187
♪ great God in heaven ♪
558
00:28:22,222 --> 00:28:26,624
♪ you know I love you. ♪