原创翻译 双语字幕
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翻译 波波
翻译 圈圈
校对 圈圈
时间轴 兜爹
后期 吉吉
总监 圈圈
前情提要
最后一个男人
我是个食人者 I'm a cannibal.
我要去找贾思博 I'm going to get Jasper.
你一直都知道贾思博在哪里吗 You knew where Jasper was this whole time?
你们知道需要怎么做 You know what you need to do.
我们要杀了他 We have to kill him.
我建议抽签 I took the liberty of cutting up some straws.
搞定 Got it!
我做不到... I can't do...
怎么样 So?
我做到了 I did it.
你杀了他 You killed him?
没错 Oh, yeah.
我都不记得我扣了扳机 I don't even remember pulling the trigger.
我还背对着他 好吗 I mean, my back was still to him, you know?
然后我听到一声炸响 And then I heard a popping sound.
枪肯定提早泄了 Uh, the gun must have just discharged early.
你的枪提早泄了 Your gun discharged early?
盖尔 现在不是说讽刺黄腔的时候 Gail, this is not the time for a hurtful sexual joke.
我们说的是一个人的命 We're talking about a man's life here.
卡萝尔和我也一直在为这个问题努力 And Carol and I have been working through that problem.
-没错 -不管怎么样 - Yeah. - Anyway...
-所以你甚至都没瞄准他吗 -没错 - So you weren't even aiming at him? - Yeah.
但是肯定是弹到什么东西上 But, I mean, it must have ricocheted off something
打中了他 因为我回头后发现 and hit him, 'cause when I turned around,
他已经死翘翘了 he was majorly dead.
下半身还是完整的 You know, lower body still relatively intact.
上半身已经完全不见了 Upper body just went full Houdini on me, though.
消失了 再也没了 You know, just disappeared. Not there anymore.
你... Oh, you're...
你还说呢 整个房间就像是 You're telling me. I mean, the whole room looks
火鸡大餐后的感恩节厕所 like a Thanksgiving toilet after a turkey recall.
溅得满墙都是 Just spattered. Warped.
-真恶心 -这说不通啊 - Gross. - Well, it just doesn't add up.
也许我可以通过 Look, maybe it'll help
即兴发挥场景重现来帮助你们理解 if I take you through an improvised recreation of the events.
当然了 我先进行了 So, obviously, I opened
标准花瓶练习射击 with your standard vase-based practice shot.
然后我听到卡萝尔在隔壁说... Then, from the other room, I heard Carol say...
"结束了吗" "Is it over?"
-结束了吗 -于是我说 - Is it over? - To which I replied...
"只是练习 正准备做" "Practice shot. Doing it now."
经过深刻的最终告别以后 And then a poignant final good-bye.
我数了十步 And then I counted off ten paces.
一 One,
二 two,
三 three,
四... four, blah, blah, blah...
好吧 Yeah.
六 Six,
七 seven,
八 九 eight, nine,
十 ten.
拔枪 Gun went off.
感恩节厕所 Thanksgiving toilet.
也许你们直接去看看就懂了 Maybe it'll make more sense if we go to the actual room.
走吧 Come on.
天啊 Oh, my God.
不 我们信你 谢了 No, we'll take your word for it. Thank you.
我杀了他 I killed him.
最后一个男人 第四季 第十二集
*渴望的眼睛* *Hungry eyes*
*我看到了你我之间的魔力* *I see the magic between you and I*
*渴望的眼睛* *Hungry eyes*
最好的致敬 A fitting tribute.
我们聚在这里是为了哀悼卡尔 We're gathered here today to lay rest to most of Karl.
我们都知道 他是个很复杂的人 As we all know, he was a very complex person.
所以我们将他安置在两副棺材中 So we bury him in two separate caskets
标志着他个性中截然相反的两面 as a symbol of the two starkly contrasting sides of his personality.
其中一面完好无缺 One of those sides was solid, kinda together.
另一面则是一团糟 The other side was just a friggin' mess,
由这一小包我们从床帘 yeah, as represented by this loose bag of human bric-a-brac
地毯和地板上 that we cobbled together off the curtains
刮下来的人肉代替 and rugs and floors and such.
卡尔 在你尖叫挣扎着 Karl, we send you our thoughts
通往地狱的路上 and prayers as you hurtle, screaming,
我们祝福你 on your terrifying journey to Hell.
天啊 你可能正在吃比尔·科斯比的 Heck, you're probably chewing on Bill Cosby's
胆囊 gallbladder right now,
用一杯温暖的泻药冲下去 washing it down with a warm cup of diarrhea.
我对食人者了解不多 I don't know much about cannibalism.
应该就是这么吃的吧 I assume that's how it works.
回到正事上来 Back to the matter at hand.
路西法 又是我 Lucifer, it's me again.
请照顾好我们的卡尔 Please take care of our Karl.
他是个温柔的凶手 He was a gentle killer
很努力地不想吃掉自己的朋友 who, uh, tried very hard not to eat his friends.
反向阿门 Upside-down amen.
还有谁想和卡尔说什么吗 Now, is there anything that anybody'd like to say about Karl?
卡尔 Karl,
万一你在你的堕落之旅上需要吃的 in case you need a snack on your unholy journey,
我收集了一些坦迪的头皮屑和脚皮 I collected some of Tandy's dandruff and foot skin flakes.
我把它们撒在你身上 I sprinkle them over you now.
很抱歉你得死 I'm sorry you had to die.
但是你是个吃人的人 Um, but you are a people eater,
我不能冒险让你吃了我的宝宝 and I couldn't risk you eating my baby.
说得好 艾瑞卡 Well said, Erica.
那是澳洲野狗会干的事 That job belongs to dingoes.
国家悲剧 不过...没关系 National tragedy, but... it's fine.
还有人吗 Anybody else?
我想说几句 I'd like to say a few words.
我一直在想 I've been thinking.
自从病毒夺走了我们世界以来 这是第一次 For the first time since the virus took our world away,
我感到很高兴 I've been really happy.
高兴到 Like happy to the point
我甚至到忘了以前还有人的时候 that I almost forgot what life was like
生活是怎么样的 when there were people around.
但是然后卡尔来了 But then Karl came,
他威胁要夺走这一切 and he threatened to take all of that away from me.
所以我只想说 So I just want to say,
谢谢你 坦迪 thank you, Tandy.
你对卡尔的看法是对的 You were right about Karl,
我太固执了 没看清楚 and I was too stubborn to see it.
我只是希望你知道 And I just want you to know
我们都欠你一份情 that we all owe you a debt of gratitude,
绝对不会轻易忘记的 and that will not soon be forgotten.
我只是还想说 Oh, and, you know, I just also want to say
很少看到你会听我说话 that it's really refreshing to see you listen to me
而不是直接自顾自说你自己的 and not have to just jump right in and toot your own horn
或者发出你那种鼻音笑 or do that dumb little nose laugh thing you do.
我才不会这么做 I don't do that.
你会的 你会做你的坦迪标准式笑 Oh, you do. Y'all just do your Tandy.
什么 What?
你真的变了 You've really changed.
所以 继续下去吧 So, keep it up.
我不知道该说什么 我... I don't know what to say. I, uh...
看看我还准备了什么 Let's see what else I have here. Uh...
我是如何拯救这一天的
你们知道吗 Wouldn't you know it,
每张卡片上都只写了 on every single card, it just says,
"你们才是英雄 "Hey, you guys are the heroes.
"我只是一面镜子 "I'm just a mirror
反映出你们的英勇 reflecting your heroism."
上面就写了这些 你们可以看看 That's what they all say. You can read it.
*奇异恩典* *Amazing grace*
*如此甘甜* *How sweet the sound*
*我等罪人* *That saved a wretch*
*竟蒙赦免* *Like him and him*
天啊 Oh my God!
卡萝尔 Oh, Carol. I mean,
你也看到了 她在疯狂地赞美我 you saw it. She was, like, gushing with praise.
-绝对没错 -我都吓傻了 - Oh, she absolutely was. - And I was just frozen.
我简直不敢相信 我就这样... I couldn't believe it. I was like...
我是说你也看到了 I mean, you saw it.
没错 我被吓了一跳 I did. I was taken aback.
我被吓了好几跳 I was taken several backs.
我就这样... I was like this...
我看到了 I saw you.
但我动不了 我就这样... But I couldn't move. It was like...
我就这样... And I was like...
我受不了了 I can't do it.
我动不了 I can't move.
坦迪 Tandy,
这是个巨大的突破 this is a huge breakthrough.
我不知道 小萝萝 I don't know about that, Care Bear.
我是说显然 I-I mean, obviously,
其他人都很喜欢我 但是... the rest of the group really admires me, but...
这也太轻描淡写了 Understatement of the century.
但是盖尔... But for Gail...
我觉得还是 很深的敬意吧 you know, I think it's still just, like, a very deep respect.
但是 我是说那不算什么 But, hey, I mean, that's not nothing.
可能可以不不算什么 Maybe it could be not not nothing.
你是说...算什么 You mean... something?
你继续这样 You keep this up,
盖尔就会从你的丈母娘 Gail's gonna go from being your mother-in-law
变姨母粉丝 to a mother-in-awe.
那样很好 And that would be great,
但我不是这个意思 卡萝尔 but that's not what this is about, Carol.
只是因为我变成了最好的样子 This is about me being the best Tandy I can be
这感觉非常棒 for no other reason than it just feels really good.
卡萝尔 我到底怎么了 Carol, what's happening to me?
你杀了一个人 You killed a man.
我应该多杀点人 I should murder people more often.
好了 And there we go.
拜托 陶德 Come on, Todd.
就因为我们吵了一小架 Just 'cause we're in a little fight
你也不用睡在这里 doesn't mean you need to sleep out here.
这不是给我准备的 这是给你的 Oh, this isn't for me. This is for you.
这是骗子的沙发 It's the liar's couch.
这是一张椅子 That's a chair.
恭喜你 Congratulations.
现在你知道被骗的感受了 Now you know what it feels like to be lied to.
好吧 陶德 Fine, Todd.
我很抱歉我没告诉你贾思博的事 I am sorry I didn't tell you about Jasper.
她很抱歉 Oh, she's sorry.
我向他保证过 I made a promise to him.
你知道我一直在出去找他 急疯了 Y-you knew I was out there looking for him, worried sick.
你本来准备什么时候告诉我 I mean, when were you planning on letting me know?
你以为我想处于这种境地吗 Do you think I wanted to be in this position?
向大家撒谎 Lying to everyone?
我不知道 I don't know.
我只是想确保 All I was trying to do was to make sure
一个九十岁的孩子能过自己想要的生活 that nine-to-11-year-old little boy had a lifeline
我们不会永远失去他 so that we didn't lose him altogether.
我保证过的 I made a promise.
我知道 我... I know, and I'm-I'm...
天啊 我很抱歉 Geez, I'm sorry.
真的 我...我很抱歉 Really, I'm-I'm sorry.
我也很抱歉 I'm sorry, too.
很高兴我们说开了 Well, I'm glad we settled that.
那他在哪里 So, where is he?
-陶德 -什么 - Todd. - What?
你知道我不能告诉你 You know I can't tell you that.
为什么 Why?
我们刚刚不是说过了 We just went over this!
那我祝你晚安 Well, then I bid you good night!
好吗 做个好噩梦 Okay? Sweet nightmares!
好好享受你的椅床 Enjoy your chair bed!
不可理喻 Ridiculous.
怎么回事 What's going on in here?
只是打扫一下 Eh, just doing a little cleanup.
你打扫了这个房间吗 You cleaned up this whole room?
绅士清洁剂帮了我不少 Well, I had a little help from Senor Clean.
坦迪·米勒 你这是怎么了 Tandy Miller, what's gotten into you?
看起来坦迪变成小能手了 It looks like the Tandy-man has become the handyman.
姑娘们 别这样 Hey, gals. Come on, cut it out.
换做你们也会这么做的 We all would have done the same thing.
-没什么大不了的 -等等 - It's no big deal. - Wait.
你刚刚说"没什么大不了" Did you just say "No big deal"
而不是"没什大" instead of saying "NBD"
或者"没什么啦" or "Nizzle bizzle dizzy"?
桌上有刚泡好的咖啡 Fresh pot of coffee on the table.
请便 Help yourself.
坦迪 Um, Tandy,
有奶油吗 do we have any creamer?
奶油 Creamer?
好像没有 No, I don't think that we do, no.
等待 坦迪 你好好听我说 Wait, Tandy. Come on. Really listen to me.
我们有"奶...油"吗 Do we have any cream... her?
抱歉 没有 Sorry, no.
我可以去商店拿 I can pop out to the store.
拜托 坦迪 你知道她是什么意思 Come on, Tandy. You know what she's saying.
盖尔 跟我来 Gail, set me up.
艾瑞卡 有奶油吗 Erica, do we have any creamer?
奶油 我不认识她 哈哈 Creamer? I hardly knew her. Boom! Doy, duh.
真有意思 That's very funny.
但我应该继续 But, look, I should probably just keep focused
打扫了 on the task at hand.
盖尔 你能把"别再闲扯清洁工具"给我吗 Oh, Gail, can you pass me that cleaner-no-further-comment?
谢谢 Thank you.
你要去找他 是吗 You're going to see him, aren't you?
你吓到我了 You scared me.
你被吓到了吗 Oh. You were scared?
在舒适的自己的家里 In the... in the comfort of your own home?
真不知道一个小男孩独自在树林是会是怎样 I wonder how a boy alone in the woods feels.
陶德 现在才上午十一点 你在喝什么 Todd, it's 11:00 a.m. What are you drinking?
我真希望是毒药 Well, I wish it was poison.
但如果你非要知道 这是加冰柠檬淡啤 But if you must know, it's Bud Light Lime, rocks.
已经喝了两杯了 And I'm already two deep.
我要跟你一起去 I'm coming with you.
我们说过了 We talked about this.
梅丽莎 这种疯狂持续时间够久了 Melissa, look, this craziness has gone on long enough.
我要跟你一起去 我不接受拒绝 I'm coming with you. I'm not taking no for an answer.
-不行 -那好 - No. - Fine!
你在干什么 What are you doing?
最近有人抱怨 Well, uh, people have been complaining
尿不湿成山了 about the dirty diaper pile,
所以我决定采取点措施 so I decided to do something about it.
措施就是用气球吗 And balloons is your answer?
没见过这么蠢的行为 That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
不一定 我觉得空气清新多了 I don't know. It smells better already.
看起来很有趣 Looks kind of fun.
我赞成 I'm on board.
谢谢 G点 Thanks, G Spot.
G点 G Spot?
坦迪·米勒 你知道 Tandy Miller, do you know
高中的时候大家都这么叫我吗 they used to call me that in high school?
什么 那是两年前吗 What? Two years ago?
你都要让我脸红了 Now, you're gonna make me blush.
你拿那个冷藏盒去哪里 Hey, where you going with that cooler, hon?
盖尔 你明知故问 Gail, you know exactly where I'm going.
如果你想跟我鬼扯什么 那就省省吧 So, if you want to give me any crap, just save it.
梅丽莎 Melissa?
干什么 What?
去找他吧 Go to him.
G点 你想来玩一个吗 G Spot, you want to do one?
-好啊 -那就来吧 - Duh. - Well, get in here, girl.
不 我是认真的 No. I'm being serious.
蓝莓不是真正的口味 Blue raspberry's not a real flavor.
是做馅饼的人编造出来的 The Pop-Tart people just made it up.
给你找了本新漫画书 Scored you some new comic books.
谢谢 Thanks.
我有件事得跟你说 So, I have to tell you something.
其他人知道我知道了 The others found out I know.
什么 What?
家里有非常紧急的事 There was this really big emergency,
有个人想吃了我们 and this guy was trying to eat us,
然后坦迪把他炸了 and then Tandy exploded him.
血肉横飞啊 There was blood and guts everywhere.
特别恶心 你看了肯定喜欢 Really gross. You would have loved it.
总之 我不得不告诉他们 Anyway, I had to tell them,
所以他们都很生我的气 so they're all really mad at me.
因为他们真的很想你 Because they just really miss you.
尤其是陶德 Especially Todd.
但我不会告诉他们 But I won't tell them.
你不让我告诉他们 我是绝对不会说的 I won't tell them where you are if you don't want me to. Okay?
我会一直给你带馅饼来 Just keep bringing you Pop-Tarts.
多么健康的饮食 Such a healthy diet.
请进 Come in.
你这盛装打扮是干什么 What are you all dressed up for?
-我有约会 -是吗 - I have a date. - Oh, yeah?
你要干什么坏事 What are you getting your bad self into?
我要跟我丈母娘 I'm having a drink...
一起喝一杯 with my mother-in-law.
你觉得如何 G点 What do you say, G Spot?
好极了 Well, hooty!
走吧 Yeah, let's do it!
-真的吗 -当然 - Really? - Yeah.
-你搞什么 陶德 -你听我解释 - What the hell, Todd? - Look, I can explain.
他就在那边 你这么想跟他说话 那就去 There he is. You want to talk to him so bad, go talk to him.
-不 我不该来的 -那你为什么来 - No, I... I shouldn't. - Then why did you come here?
我是很想跟他说话 好吗 Look, I wanted to talk to him, okay?
但后来我看到你跟他在一起 But then I saw you with him,
我意识到他不像信任你一样 and I realized he doesn't trust me
信任我 like he trusts you.
我就只会吓到他 All I do is freak him out.
而你 And you...
你跟他真的很合得来 you're really good with him.
-什么 -就是觉得有意思 - What? - It's just funny, you know.
我那么想当爸爸 I want to be a dad so bad,
但却一直搞砸 but I just keep chunking it.
你不想当妈妈 但你却... You... you hate the idea of being a mom, but you're...
-陶德 -我就随口说说 - Todd. - I'm just saying.
-不要说 -好吧 - Well, don't. - All right.
你放心 我已经放弃当爸爸这个念头了 Look, don't worry. I've given up on being a dad.
真的吗 You have?
反正不可能了 Yeah, it's just not in the cards, you know.
不过我还是能当叔叔 I can still be an uncle.
当叔叔也不错 You know, uncle's not bad.
有它的优点 There are some perks.
不用承担责任 还有好处 You know? All the good stuff, none of the responsibilities.
这对你来说足够了吗 And that's enough for you?
只能如此了 I guess it's gonna have to be.
我们走吧 Come on, let's go.
还想来一次吗 You want another shot?
来吧 Hit me.
天啊 真是太棒了 Oh, boy! Yeah, that's fantastic!
G点万岁 G Spot represent!
*加里 印第安纳* *Gary, Indiana*
你知道吗 Hey, you know what?
我跟你在一起玩真的很开心 I'm having a really nice time with you.
坦迪 怎么了 Tandy, what's wrong?
听你这么说 That just means a lot
对我意义重大 to hear you say that.
这不是秘密 你跟我 It's no secret. You and I have
经历了很多坎坷 gone through some rough patches with our relationship.
但我觉得我们现在关系真的很好 But it feels like we're in a really good place right now,
这对我很重要 知道吗 and that's important to me, you know?
你为什么这么在乎我的看法 Why do you care so much what I think?
可能是因为我不习惯被表扬 Guess I'm just not used to getting praise.
从小到大 我哥哥总是得到所有关注 You know, growing up, my brother always got all the attention.
他真的很厉害 He was a real overachiever.
我父母就只关注他了 My parents just ate it up.
就好像我根本不存在 It's like I wasn't even there.
所以在葬礼上 So that's why, at the funeral,
你说我很棒的时候 when you told me I did good,
让我感觉... oh, man, it just made me feel like...
感觉我终于有所成就了 Like I finally made the fridge, you know?
图森之后 你成长了很多 You've come a long way since Tucson.
知道吗 And you know what?
我敢打赌 如果你父母还在世 I bet, if your parents were still alive,
他们肯定会跟我一样为你骄傲 they'd be just as proud of you as I am.
你的友情对我很重要 Your friendship means a lot to me.
拜托 Oh, come on.
开什么玩笑 朋友 Who are we kidding? Friends?
我们一起经历了那么多 Oh, after all we've been through,
我们可不仅仅是朋友 we're way more than just friends.
懂吗 You get me?
懂 懂 Uh, yeah. Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
那个 我... Um, you know, I... I, uh...
我应该回去找我妻子卡萝尔了 I should, uh, probably get back to my wife Carol.
你不想再喝点红酒吗 You don't want a little more wine?
我觉得还是算了吧 Mm, I don't think that'd be a good idea.
我很确定 I'm thoroughly positive
巴泽葵尔的胎记在长大 that Bezequille's birthmark is growing,
但菲尔贝森家的人 but the Pilbasians always go
都会经历胎记生长阶段 through a birthmark growth phase.
婴儿时期变大 Waxing during the baby phase,
蹒跚学步时就变小 and then waning as toddlers,
青春期的时候完全消失 and then really kicking into high gear during puberty.
知道了 I see.
坦迪 Oh, Tandy.
我刚才跟盖尔说了很有趣的话题 I was having the most interesting chat with Gail.
我来猜猜 And, uh, let me guess.
是不是说到 Did it happen to include
你妈怎么想跟我做爱了 how your mother wants to have sex with me?
-苍天 -什么 - Oh, Lord. - What?
我早就该想到的 卡萝尔 I should've seen it coming, Carol.
葬礼上她演的那一出 I mean, that whole put-on at the funeral was all
只是为了得到我 just a long con to get at my dong.
葬礼 盖尔 A funeral, Gail?
那就是去勾搭人的地方吧 That's where you like to cruise for meat, huh?
坦迪 你到底在说什么 Tandy, what the hell are you talking about?
应该是我来问你 不是吗 I could ask you the same question, couldn't I?
我竟然把你当妈妈 To think I used to look at you like a mother!
可你却开始暗搓搓摸我的手 And then you started with the innuendo and the hand play.
想让我回到我们刚见面的时候 Tried to take us back to the moment where we first met.
那时候花天酒地 When the drinks were flowing
整天聊着裸泳 and skinny-dipping was the topic of the day.
我跟你说吧 盖尔 Well, I got the skinny for you, Gail.
你曾经认识的浪子结婚了 The dip you once knew is married.
娶了你女儿 To your daughter!
我们之间不会有什么了 And there's not gonna be any funny business between us
因为我已经很久不想看到你裸体了 'cause I haven't wanted to see you naked for a long time,
梦里不算数 好吗 and dreams don't count, okay?
人控制不了梦 所以我不会 You can't control those, and I will not be held
为此负责 好吗 responsible for... them, okay?
想到... And to think...
我叫你G点 I called you G Spot
而一直以来 我看到的都是个B人 when all along, I was staring right at a b-hole.
你真是个白痴 You're such an idiot.
你们俩玩吧 You two have fun.
我...如果你是建议玩3P Well, uh, I-if that's a threesome proposition,
那没有卡萝尔同意 我绝不会接受的 I will never accept without Carol's blessing!
我也反对你们2P And I'm against you doing a twosome with each other,
先说清楚 just to be clear!
我觉得你好像误会什么了 Sounds to me like you misunderstood something.
她会缓过来的 卡萝尔 She'll get over it, Carol.
他们一向如此 They always do.
我最近考虑了很多 Okay, so I've been doing a lot of thinking,
我决定了 and I've come to a decision.
我想让你有个孩子 I want you to have a baby.
什么 What?
你一直想要孩子 You are always gonna want to have kids,
而我不想 and I never will, so,
如果我们想过这道坎 那我得做出妥协 if we're gonna get past this, I'm going to have to compromise.
我都不知道该说什么了 I-I don't know what to say!
这是个很重大的决定 Well, it's a big decision,
所以我们有很多需要讨论的 so there's a lot of stuff for us to discuss.
有什么好讨论的 直接来吧 What's to discuss, hon? Let's do this!
等等 我不要生孩子 Whoa, whoa, easy there. I'm not having a baby.
-你刚才说... -不不不 - You... you just said that... - No, no, no, no, no, no.
这是你说的好吗 This is your deal, okay?
我只想当有孩子的人的妻子 I'm just gonna be the wife of a guy who has a kid.
你之前也说了 我不想当妈妈 I mean, like you said earlier, I don't want to be the mom.
我只想当阿姨 I just want to be the aunt.
好吧 我凌乱了 Okay, well, I... I'm-I'm confused.
这其中 I mean, there's a...
有重大的生物学障碍吧 serious biological impediment here, you know?
那倒未必 Not necessarily.
非常感谢你花时间跟我们一起坐下 Thank you so much for taking time out of your day.
对 Yeah.
我们来找你是因为我们... Um, the reason we are here is that we...
我们有个问题问你 Well, we have a question for you.
我们有个问题问你 We have a question for you.