Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull M_I_SForEver
♪ Don't make me smash your melon up
♪ Try throwing the shade on melanin
♪ Bona fide, though, I'm 7-Up
♪ You're too sweet, I put the lemon in
♪ They put their boots on our ground
♪ I'll put my roots in their ground
♪ I'll put my truth in this sound
♪ I'll spit my truth, and it's brown
♪ I don't give a fuck about the cash you stack with the crown on your skull
♪ You ain't Basquiat or the Prince of Denmark
♪ So, Zeddy boy, piss on their benchmarks
♪ Till white kids wanna be Paks
♪ Brown planet, it's gonna be that
♪ The man frown, panic, and wanted me out
♪ But I'm outstanding cos I stand out
♪ And where I was standing there's gonna be plaques ♪
New York!
Hit it! Yeah!
♪ Pick a side, do or die, yeah!
♪ Cos all we ever do is die, yeah!
♪ They either bomb us or we suicide
♪ We're the doner meat, don't you wanna try, yeah
♪ Woke up to a war
♪ Why you wanna beef with your own like
♪ I keep my beef with the pork
♪ Why you bring a tweet to a gunfight, yeah
♪ They want to kill us all
♪ But they can't kill us all
♪ They call me Cockroach, I'm cocky, not broke
♪ My cock, it just grows when they kick us in the balls
♪ This is for the mosque and the mosh pit
♪ We ain't got shit, but we got this
♪ Suck my lunch and give me all the dosh, bitch!
♪ They wanna kill us all
♪ But they can't kill us all ♪
Vaseem.
Quickly.
- Wait, who was here tonight? - Huh?
- Who was here? - What?
What do you mean, "what"? Who was here? Label heads, promoters, anyone?
- Americans. - I'll do it. I'll do it.
Listen, just don't get your hopes up.
What...? Isn't that the point?
Huh? Shouldn't you be out there kind of talking to people, then?
Yeah, I'll give you some privacy.
Should I go out there myself in a fucking T-shirt saying, "Sign me"?
Just leave it to me.
You see what I got to put up with!
Get it, get it, get! Get it, get it, get it! Ah!
Wait, wait, I'm going on the ground.
- Hey! - Let me do something.
What do you say?
OK, cool, I'm gonna go talk to Dante's people.
Oi! Oi...!
Oi!
New York!
We fucking said, New York, we just finished this tour.
- Zed! - Sold out tour!
Sold out tour, biggest tour we ever done.
Yo, thank you to everyone for coming through.
Thank you everyone for coming through.
For anyone who didn't make it...
For anyone who didn't make it, it's time...
Yo! Zed! Zaheer, yeah?
- Oh, shit. - London gang in the fucking room!
Yeah, yeah, yeah...!
Yeah, big up, big up, big up.
London gang here, too.
All right, make some fucking noise!
Yeah.
We're back.
It's a candle business.
And for every candle someone buys, we fight a house in Pakistan.
- I need to talk. Dante's people are here. - Did you know about fucking RPG here?
What the fuck is he doing in New York?
Fuck RPG right now. You didn't hear me.
No, I didn't. Did you hear me?
Dante fucking Smith wants you to open for him in Europe.
- Dante Dante? - Yeah, Dante Dante.
Oh...! Yes!
We start next week.
- Next week? - We start next week, yeah.
Next week?
- What, you got plans or something? - No, I'm just...
No, it's cool, I'll make it work.
- I'll make it work. - Cool.
Oh, I can't breathe.
Dante Smith, huh?
Exciting.
Yeah, it's pretty sick.
He said it's gonna start in London, the tour.
So, you gonna leave early, go see your family?
Are you trying to get rid of me?
Well, I thought I'd chill... chill with you.
- What...? What? - What?
- What's up? - Nothing's up.
Yeah, something's up. You were chatting to that dickhead rapper all night.
- What's going on? - Oh my God, what is wrong with you?
- What? - Why are you so insecure?
How am I insecure?
This is, like, my big night, and you're just... you're just chatting to next man.
I don't understand how much more attention you want.
Everything is about you.
I mean, you've got a hundred people back there on your dick.
OK, well, I just wanted to chill with you.
- No, you don't. - Yes, I do.
No, you don't, cos you're... you're about to run off again.
OK, you know, that's not running off, that's called my job.
Going on tour is my job.
Look, a day, a week, it's not gonna make a difference to us.
What do you mean, "a difference"? What...
I'm saying, nothing's gonna change here.
I want you to go off and do your thing.
But I don't want to have a relationship on FaceTime.
There we go, that's it.
OK, just say it. Just say what you're saying.
What are you saying?
For someone who raps so much about where they're from,
when was the last time you went home?
When was the last time you actually spent time with your family?
♪ Love for Moguls was a rose
♪ Love for Mowglis like us is a poppy
♪ Love smuggled across borders, authorities tried to stop me
♪ First brown people we dated
♪ Self-hatred almost stopped it
♪ Me, it's the thorns that I love
♪ It cuts, toughen the skin
♪ I need it strong to win
♪ So it's the war that I love, none of your fucked up ways
♪ Isn't that what we are?
♪ We weren't born to be loved
♪ They kick puddles at us, make rubble of us and said that we're too dirty to love
♪ And we ain't worthy to love, that's why I'm built to prove myself
♪ Your acceptance isn't helping
♪ Love will make me lose myself and the legacy I'm meant for
♪ I ain't a finished product
♪ If you love me now, you're fucked up
♪ Unconditional thumbs up, won't let them conquer
♪ And it's nice to get paid, laid in the Porsche
♪ The double feature, all the divas, golf courses, awards
♪ More than that I wanna shine, climb the peak
♪ Feel the force of each fist up like a beacon, lit by my torch
♪ And be immortal, my love
♪ Legacies outlive love
♪ I'll do it
♪ For the sofas in plastic, samosas and ketchup
♪ The suitcase is all covered and the girls scared of tanning
♪ For the kurria, the bhuddies, the puddie, the mandem
♪ To be the man I wish existed when I was a fan then
♪ For my family, they don't really understand it
♪ For the kids will never have to be prouder of their dad
♪ And I'm no wanker
♪ My poppy's for summer, yeah?
♪ My art's for all time
♪ I ain't got no roots to put down, I'm pulling the weeds up
♪ A poppy's just a weed
♪ What I'm growing don't need love
♪ Where I'm going don't need love ♪
♪ Sweet Madina
♪ Sweet Madina, very lovely
♪ Sweet Madina
♪ Sweet Madina, very lovely
♪ How is beautiful Madina?
♪ Very, very good, Madina
♪ How is beautiful Madina?
♪ Very, very good, Madina
♪ My choice is Madina
♪ How fine is Madina
♪ My choice is Madina
♪ How fine is Madina
♪ I can tell about Madina
♪ You can tell about Madina... ♪
This way! Me! Me!
♪ Such a beautiful Madina
♪ Sweet Madina
♪ Sweet Madina, very lovely... ♪
- Yeah! - Yeah.
No, no, that's it.
Yeah, you too.
♪ Sweet Madina, very lovely ♪
Hello.
Welcome, son.
Yeah, one minute. Let me get that. Let me get it.
It's been two years.
It's not been two years.
- Two years, no face, nothing. - What's this?
So Google showed you the way home?
- What's that? - I've come from work.
- You owl face! - Huh? What?
You were supposed to text me when you landed.
Yeah, my phone died.
- You doing OK? - Yeah.
What?
You've lost weight.
You don't eat enough.
You always say that.
- You're fasting? - No.
Good. No need when you're travelling.
Ammi.
Ammi, can't this wait?
Ammi, why is the washing machine still there?
The one we have is just fine.
This has been sat there for four months.
Do you smell anything?
I mean, I bought that new machine for you.
The peppers have no smell.
You've got the 'evil eye'.
How's your Bina?
Is she fine?
Where's Dad?
He's taking a nap before we have breakfast.
Why does he keep roza if he's got diabetes?
You don't think I've told him?
He's as stubborn as you.
I'm opening this.
What are you doing?
I told you the old one's working.
I know, if I don't open it now, you're gonna try and return it.
- 'Check, one, two.' - ♪ Zeddy boy, '96.
♪ Say rude boy, better watch yo back, Zed is back with a wicked chat
♪ Don't watch out the lyrics attack, when I bust a flow that's where it's at
♪ When I entah inside the arena, dressed to impress, it's all desina
♪ Arm in Armani, guess Versace, Dolce and Gabbana
♪ Moski no Valentino, Polo, Gucci, Boss, and Prada
♪ Yes, dese garms good and proper
♪ When I bust out the designer garms, gallies, watch out for the boyish charms
♪ Step to Zed, bad man, in his arms! Step to Zed, bad man... ♪
Crazy, fucking Pakis.
Salaam alaikum.
Alaikum salaam.
- That's how you greet your Dad? - I was getting up.
Come here, arsehole.
You good?
You still have some in you.
Of course I do.
- How are you, my son? - I'm all right. I'm OK.
- Sure? - Yeah, a bit tired, but I'm all right.
So, you're a big deal now?
- I'm talking about your tour. - Oh, thank you.
Let's see. We'll find out.
What are you up to?
I'm just clearing away this junk, man.
- Can we please throw it away? - Are you crazy?
Throw it away?
Vinyl cassette stores are all over Brick Lane. We can still corner the market.
I know for a fact you haven't even opened half of them
because it's still got all the wrapping around it.
Yeah, well, maybe if you had hung around I would have, right?
Show me what you're throwing away.
These are my businesses.
So I'm waiting for the right opportunity.
Are you joking?
Tell me, do people even remember the opening act?
Sure.
Hello?
Salaam alaikum.
A man was staring at a woman's chest.
- Yaar, Nasra. Sit down! - I'm coming!
- Why aren't you eating, man? - Aunties are so off-key, man.
- Which aunt are you talking about? - His mum, ours, same family.
Oi, listen. Are you keeping roza?
Nah, I got my period.
Yeah, every Ramadan, innit, you're on your period.
- Yeah, same here. - Yeah, exactly.
She gonna bad you up, you know?
- All I'm saying is... - Bilal!
That's enough. Every time she's hitting me.
- And I hit her back, she starts crying. - Why are you hitting her back?
But the thing is, men can't defend themselves no more, bro.
That's the problem. Feel my hand.
Bruv, I know what you do with your left hand.
See that? Soft.
- What you been doing with it, bruv? - Nothing, bruv.
And you know what, the generation after us, gonna be even softer.
Start naming your kids Daniel and Adam.
So, you want to pick a fight here, too?
Rubina bajhi. All I'm saying is, nobody's calling him Daniyaal, are they?
They're calling him Daniel.
I just want to know something. What are you going to call your son?
- Ashfaq. - Oh, Bilal!
You're joking. Bruv, you're taking the piss. You're gonna call him Arse-fuck?
Bruv, that's child abuse.
He's got enough problems, do you know what I mean?
- Think about it. - Get a nickname, its better.
Listen, everyone ends up with nicknames in this country.
If you get Bob, Tim, Dave, why can't you have Zed and Arse as well?
- Oh, yeah, right. - See what I mean?
- We can do nicknames, as well. - You, you're just bare Haram, innit?
So you keep to your Haram ways because you sound castrated.
- What? - Your name is not Zed, it's Zaheer, bro.
And the moment you realise that, things will be better for you, innit?
OK, listen, you know, I know my name is Zaheer.
But I've got the confidence
to just put my little twist on it without crying about it.
I'm confident as well. I'm not crying about it.
All I'm saying is, that's not your twist, innit?
That's what they gave you. They called you Zed.
But now I call me Zed. And I call you dickhead.
Why don't you respect the name that I gave you as your elder.
Because you know what? You're not seeing, yeah, why our parents...
You're not seeing why our parents fought for our names.
You went to America, and it all got to your head, do you know that?
Abu, you need to tell him, tell him about it.
Cos these are the people that gave us our names, innit?
I'm proud of my name, I don't know about you, though. But tell him.
Once skinheads chased me from school.
Oh, I love this one.
- Look at the scar, look. - I know!
I took a cricket bat once and put up a fight.
Wasn't it a hockey stick last time?
The Bengalis always ran.
Abu, you're always picking on Bengalis.
Why you trying to be woke for, man?
I was with him until he started getting racist himself, innit?
That's enough.
That's enough now.
We just broke our fast and this is what we're talking about?
Bashir, you've seen some crazy shit.
Tell him how you fled India.
I don't remember it.
You forgot the train ride to Pakistan?
The bloodshed, massacres, come on!
It's not like I saved anyone. I just hid under layers of clothes.
They need to know about Partition.
Leave my station alone.
Sometimes they play my son's music.
As if they play his music.
How would you know?
I like hearing my son's songs.
You like gloating to the famiy.
Someone has to.
Straighten the lines, brothers.
Amiyn.
'Heard anything from Bina?'
No.
- No, she hasn't texted me. - 'OK.
'Choreography, what are we doing about it?'
- No. No. - '10,000 people, Zed.'
Vaseem, I'm not a Spice Girl. Vaseem, man, I can't.
'No one's gonna want you standing still. This is not poetry slam.'
Think of something else, then, man.
'Zed.'
Yeah, yeah, I'm listening.
'You should be spending money for this. I just think you should consider it.'
- Well, no, just something... anything else. - 'Can I book you in for this guy or not?'
No, we don't need him, man.
'You don't have do what they say. You can just put your own twist on it.'
Yo, I had an idea for this new banger. I think it's gonna kill it.
'Oh, really? So, when can I hear it?'
- Yo, Vaseem, let me call you back, yo. - 'No. No, no.
- 'Don't put the phone down on me, Zed.' - Yeah, one minute. I'll call you back.
Wait.
I thought it was you.
Bro, I'm a huge fan, bruv. I saw you inside.
- Bro, is it cool if I take a selfie? - No, bro. Sorry.
- I'm just not doing that right now, man. - What's that, man?
Can I?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
- Bro, you can't roll for shit, man. - I know. I know. I know.
Very safe, yeah?
- Bro, it was good meeting you, man. - OK, yeah.
Perhaps just before I go, some quick advice, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Next time when you hand your brother something,
just do it with your right hand.
It's Sunnah.
What you chatting about?
It's Sunnah bro, if you hand it with your right hand.
This is haram.
It doesn't fucking matter what hand I give it to you with.
- Bro, it's not haram, bro. - It is.
- No, bro. - No, it is.
Bro, it's not haram, bro. It's not cool.
It's frowned upon, but it's not a sin.
But it is a sin to call something a sin that's not a sin.
All right, man, let's take the selfie, yeah?
No, no, no, bro. Sorry, man, I can't...
can't take any selfies.
You know, I was just looking out for you, innit?
Oh, yeah, yeah. No, no.
I just... I've gotta get back to my phone call, man.
That's all right, bro. I understand. I'll just wait, man.
You can bounce, man.
It's cool, bro. I'll wait, man.
Well, bruv, it was good to meet you, man.
It was good to meet you.
Thank you, for real, man,
but you can bounce now. You can bounce.
Bounce.
It's not a sin. To say it's a sin is a sin.
- This is the problem with you Pakis. - What?
You get a bit of fame, and you turn into fucking coconuts.
What?
What the fuck did you call me?
- Coconut. - How the f...
Yo, how the fuck am I a coconut, man?
Yo, you know me, or you heard any of my lyrics.
I heard your lyrics, man.
What I don't get, bro, is why the fuck are you out here,
not praying with your brothers inside, RPG?
I'm not RPG.
- Oh, shit, you're the other guy. - Get the fuck out of my face, man.
What the fuck are you doing? What the fuck are you doing, bruv?
Take it back, man.
Fuck.
Are you OK?
I'm sorry, bro. I didn't mean to.
I'm sorry, bro.
Let me help you up.
Get off!
Where's Zaheer?
Zaheer?
What are you doing?
I told you I don't want to come.
Have you seen the look of that man? He looks like a clown.
It's opening night I need...
You like rap music, right?
Think of this as our rap.
Come on, sweet cheeks.
- Do it for me. - Why?
- Come on! Come on! - Why? Why?
This is all for you.
Boy!
People pay attention.
They drew a line in the sand.
India and Pakistan.
East and West.
Us and them.
I was born from this rupture.
And I am the sickness from this separation.
I am Toba Tek Singh!
Toba Tek Singh! Toba Tek Singh! Toba Tek Singh...!
Toba Tek Singh!
Toba Tek Singh.
Toba Tek Singh. Toba Tek Singh...!
Toba Tek Singh.
Toba Tek Singh. Toba Tek Singh...!
Toba Tek Singh. Toba Tek Singh. Toba Tek Singh...!
Zaheer! Zaheer!
He's up. Thank God!
Bilal, tell the nurse!
What happened?
A nice boy found you in the alleyway.
Is that what happened?
How are you feeling?
Zed, I got your phone. It's a bit smashed up.
He doesn't need his phone now.
Yo, bro, can you bring me up, please?
I called them. They're coming.
- Have you warded off the evil eye? - I did the peppers.
- Any smell? - None.
There's a very strong evil eye on him.
That's not how you get rid of the evil eye, you know.
- Why not? - Bilal, shut up.
It's all superstition.
There's nothing in the Quran and Sunnah about peppers.
What are you talking about?
It's about progress, every time.
Enough.
Want some water, son?
It's so itchy.
- There you go. - Thank you.
All right
Now, I don't want to alarm you, Mr Anwar,
but from the scans we've done, your muscles seem to be weakening.
So what is that? Like, is that a stroke?
It could be a number of things.
We need to run some more tests to determine what course of action is best.
OK. So I can stop by in a couple of weeks, get those done?
I got a tour that starts in less than a week.
Um, let's just try a couple of things, shall we?
- Uh-huh. - OK.
Now, I'm going to put my hand here.
I want you to lift your leg,
and I want you to push against my hand. OK?
- OK. - Push against it.
Hard as you can... hard as you can.
Keep pushing. OK.
Same thing on the other leg, OK?
Hard as you can.
Now, let's try the arms.
I'm going to apply pressure here.
I want you push against me. Push.
Now, I'd like you to stand up for me, please.
- But I'd like you to cross your arms like this. - Uh?
One more time.
- We need to monitor your progress. - Sorry, how did this happen?
The scan shows no sign of brain injury or fall.
- It could be degenerative. - What does that mean?
Does that mean it's going to get worse?
Let's get a biopsy underway and take it from there.
- Now... - Sorry, can I just stop you?
I really can't miss this tour.
I genuinely cannot miss it.
OK, let's make a deal.
If you can walk from that chair to that lift without any assistance,
I'll discharge you.
How's that sound?
- Yeah. - Yeah?
- Yeah. - OK.
Thank you.
Steph, we need to schedule an urgent biopsy for Mr Anwar.
♪ We made a fence against treason...
♪ We let them get in
♪ We gonna let the tek ring
♪ We made a fence against treasons
♪ Keep out the pest and these heathens
♪ Pesticide, let them die, they were reeling
♪ Some of them survive, don't let 'em inside, they were leaking
♪ Our country back, try to sit on my wall, get humptied at
♪ Yo, Imma get the pumpy out, so don't runna ya mouth
♪ No national front ya na
♪ Enough's enough, my team react, yeah
♪ Clean out where the evil's at, woo ♪
O arsehole...
Why are you running away?
- So, Mr Anwar... - Uh-huh.
We're going to be taking some muscle from your right thigh
to test your condition.
All right?
OK.
Now, we're going to be counting down slowly from five,
and then you'll be fast asleep, yeah?
Mm-hmm.
And off you go.
Five, four...
- Beautiful. - Three.
- Perfect - Two.
- Now say, Bismillah. - What?
Say Bismillah, mate.
Zaheer.
I can't hear you.
Read.
Read what?
It's OK, Zaheer.
My name's Zed.
Ah!
It's OK.
I've got you.
Welcome home.
Oh, shit.
What the fuck is...
Dad...
Give us a minute, please.
Feeling better?
I prayed on the water.
- If you need anything... - Thank you.
Well, you were just in the area, yeah?
- What the fuck, Zed? - Yeah,
- What happened? - Nothing happened, man, I swear.
I swear, it's nothing.
- They're saying it could be serious. - It's...
- I'm gonna be out of here by tomorrow, man. - You should've fold me.
They're overreacting. And don't you fucking start, too.
Don't I have a right to know, as your manager, as your friend?
- The tour starts next week. - Yeah, I know.
I'll be out of here soon, all right?
I can do the tour in a fucking chair.
Do you remember, J Dilla did one with a dialysis machine.
Firstly, don't take Dilla's name in vain.
Secondly, forget the tour. You need to rest.
Why are you such a pussy?
Don't be such a daft cunt.
- Everything's sorted. - What's sorted?
- I said I'll sort it. - No, you didn't. You said, "It's sorted."
What have you sorted?
- You're shit at lying, man? What's going on? - RPG's willing to take the slot.
RPG?
Fucking Abdul Latif Tariq?
- What the fuck? - Zed...
We made a pay-out to Dante's people. We need to fill the slot.
If not, we're going to lose all the money.
What money? I thought he wanted me on the tour.
Yeah, of course he does. But we had to pay him to make it happen.
They said they'll RPG as a replacement just to cover the cost.
Yeah, it makes sense, man.
You're right, man.
I've been working for this for only, like, 15 years.
My mum still works in Lyfelds fucking grocery store.
Let's give it to Mr Pussy Fried fucking Chicken.
- You're his favourite rapper. - Well, he's not mine.
- Literally, just give him a break. - Why?
Fuck him. I just had surgery.
Think about me.
I didn't do it as a fucking charity outreach programme
for fucking face tattoo victims, all right?
Just fucking...
Vas, can we just... just pause. Let's just pause.
I am going to get the results in, like, a day.
Let's wait for the results.
You think I don't want you to make this tour?
I'm not fucking sure anymore, mate.
You're losing sight of what's really important.
- Oh, what's that? - Your health.
- Everyone's worried about you, man. - Oh...
Always talking about paving the way for other people.
RPG is one of us.
He's telling our story, too.
♪ Pussy fried chicken
♪ Pussy fried chicken, pussy fried chicken, pussy fried chicken
♪ Tap that coochie
♪ Slurp me up like a smoothie
♪ I like Gucci
♪ Bitch, let's make a movie
♪ She smoke my shlong like it's THC
♪ Bitches get in the car, put you on TMZ
♪ Lil' RPG got that big D
- ♪ Slap that bitch in the mouth... ♪ - What does that even mean?
What does that even mean?
Are you OK in there?
Yeah, I'm OK.
I was just taking a shit.
Fuck.
Fuck!
No. I've got it.
Motherfucker!
- Need help? - I'm coming. I'm standing up.
Close the door.
I told you to let me help you!
What are you fucking shouting at me for?
Huh? This fucking thing broke. It's not my fault.
- But I told you let me help you. - OK, good. Well done.
- Come an. Get up now. - Could you calm down?
OK, first of all, fucking, my phone's, oh, there, just...
- Can you... can you... - Get up.
How are you gonna get... I'm gonna lean forwards, OK?
OK?
I got you.
OK?
This smell is going to make me vomit.
You can't get a crutch, huh? Huh?
- What do you say? - They're bringing it. I've told them.
Five.
Six, breathe.
OK, take it easy. That's good.
That's great.
Yes, well done. Breathe.
OK, take it easy for a second.
- Have you seen the doctor? - No.
I want to see him for my results.
- Yeah, well, he'll be around. - Yes, when you see him,
can you tell him to come see me. I've been waiting for a while.
Thank you.
How's that feeling? Has that loosened?
Two more steps.
Two more...
Good, push right through the barre.
Well done, man.
Easy.
I'm not hungry. I've gotta sort this.
- Thank you. - Mr Anwar?
- Yeah. - I'm Dr Mayberry,
your consultant neurologist.
How are you feeling?
OK. Yeah, I'm ready to go.
We got the results from your biopsy,
and we can start building a picture of what's going on.
OK.
With your rapid weight and muscle loss,
we can confirm it's a muscle-related autoimmune condition.
Your white blood cells, which protect you,
are attacking your muscles and organs.
Your body can't recognise itself, so it's attacking itself.
OK, so what do we do?
Since this is a chronic condition, there isn't a cure.
Now, we think you're a good candidate
for this experimental therapy that can manage the illness.
OK, so when can we get started? I've got a tour that starts pretty soon.
Well, I can look at available...
This experimental therapy, what about the risks or side effects?
It's a stem cell infusion.
The symptoms are similar to chemotherapy.
There is also a risk of permanent infertility.
We recommend you freeze your sperm at the fertility clinic
before the procedure begins.
Why is this happening?
I wish I could give you an answer.
Most auto-immune diseases have a hereditary component.
And what about an alternative?
When could, um.. when could we start this experimental...
We can start tomorrow.
I suggest you talk it over with your family...
Thank you.
...and make your decision soon.
Ridiculous.
Who are we without kids?
♪ They ever ask you where you from?
♪ Like, where you really from?
♪ The question seems simple, but the answer is kinda long
♪ I could tell 'em Wembley, but I don't think that's what they want
♪ But I don't know what to say, cos anything say I is wrong
♪ Britain's where I'm born, and I love a cup of tea and that
♪ But tea ain't from Britain, it's from where my DNA is at
♪ But where my genes are from, people don't really MC and that
♪ Or like in NYC, that's where I stack my P's and that
♪ Skinheads meant I never really liked the British flag
♪ And I only got the shits when I went back to Pak
♪ My ancestors Indian, but India was not for us
♪ But my people built the west, we even gave them fuckers swastikas
♪ Now, now, everybody, everywhere wantin' their country back
♪ If you want me back to where I'm from, then I proper need a map
♪ Or if everybody gets their piece back, then that's best for us
♪ Yo, you only built a piece of this pie, so keep the rest for us
♪ Ain't nobody that don't know that I'm from nowhere
♪ No man's land, yeah, between trenches, nothing grows there
♪ But it's fertilised by the brown bodies that fought for Britain in the wars
♪ So when I spit, a poppy grows there
♪ I find my own place in this business of Britishness
♪ Your question's just limited, it's based on appearances
♪ So stop trying to find a box for us
♪ I'll make my own and block your fucking concept of us
♪ Only a few fit these labels,
♪ So I'm repping for the rest of us
♪ Who notice that there's no place like home and that stretches us
♪ Don't piss me off with no fucking cricket test for us
♪ Or question us
♪ Motherfucker, my blood and sweat's enough
♪ I was born under a sun that you made too hot for us
♪ Bastards of empire and diaspora fostered us
♪ Yo, I ain't looking for a handout, but, brother, what you got for us?
♪ So where I'm from is kind of long, but it ain't your fucking problem, bruv ♪
This system wants us poisoned and sterilised.
It's good that you called me, Uncle.
It's small, sharp, and it's clean.
OK? You won't feel a thing.
So just relax, take a nice breath for me.
Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. Hold up. Hold up. Just wait.
How do you lot know this even works?
I had a friend who lost movement.
He did the cupping and I saw him walk with my own eyes.
You know, but all the Olympic athletes do it.
It's, like, how everyone is into turmerics now, innit?
All right, go on.
OK.
Take a deep breath in.
And out.
Bismillah.
And again, deep breath in.
Ah, Bismillah.
Close it up. Don't let the nurse see.
Keep this between us.
OK, last one.
Breathe.
Bismillah.
All right, Bismillah.
Let's show these doctors.
You don't need their poison to reach the lift.
OK, OK.
This fucking close... This fucking close!
Fuck, why does this always fucking happen to me?
Zaheer, be patient.
- There'll be more opportunities. - There won't be others.
And I'm too fucking old for this already.
I had my fucking chance.
I'm never gonna be that thing I fucking wanted to be, all right?
It's not gonna happen for me, OK?
I'm stuck at this fucking bullshit level.
You're doing good.
- Yeah, am I doing good? - You're doing good, man.
You're not looking up from your fucking phone.
How do you know if I'm fucking doing good?
Man, like, Zaheer...
What you sayin'?
What the fuck?
He begged me to come.
Could we just have one minute, please.
Yeah.
- Happy Ramadan. - Thanks.
We won't be long.
I'm worried about you, man. How you feeling?
They're gonna do this experimental shit on me, all right?
What, the one that's going to make you sterile?
I spoke to your mum upstairs.
You gonna do it?
What is he doing here?
He just wants to talk to you, OK?
Oi.
Listen...
I know what you think of me...
but I'm just here to say, man, we're the same.
The first verse I ever learned was Zed verse, your verse.
I used to record that shit over a cassette.
So... really, if you think about it,
you know, if, like, I'm going on tour...
it's like you going on tour, man. It's the same.
It's the same thing.
Better if I'm on tour, though.
Then, I'd really be on tour. If I'm on tour, then I'm on tour.
It's the cycle. Its like there's no...
There's no Drake without Whoopi Goldberg.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, there's no Nelson Mandela without apartheid.
No apartheid, no Nando's chicken.
- He... Yeah, OK. He is... - Nando's Chicken
is South African franchise.
- What the fuck is he saying? - What we're trying to say is,
you're still part of his tour.
OK, like, we talked about RPG buying one of your tracks.
Your message is still gonna get out there.
I heard you were working on that sick new demo, you know?
Maybe I could do something with that.
Great, yeah. Take some... You want my shoes?
- What else you want? - Hey, Zed!
It might keep your mum from working those extra shifts.
Rar!
We don't want to do this without your blessing, Zed.
We're all in this together.
I filled up your water jug.
The phone is here.
- Where shall I put your phone? - We're late to prayers.
- If you're in a rush, go! - Shh. It's OK.
Keep it under your pillow, in case you want to call the nurse.
Call us if you need anything.
We're going now.
Come on!
Don't go to sleep too late.
Don't listen to the doctors. This sperm freezing is nonsense.
Look at him. Be more sensitive.
Don't tell me how to talk to my son.
"Be more sensitive"!
Dad.
'Sometimes I see that man.
'The fat man with flowers on his face.
'Why do I see him?
'What does he want?'
'Son.
'Shut your face.
'It's all nonsense.
'Go to sleep.'
'But Dad, he's trying to say something to me.
'Who is he?'
'Toba Tek Singh. Toba Tek Singh. Toba Tek Singh.
'Toba Tek Singh. Toba Tek Singh...!'
Toba Tek Singh.
Let me help you.
No. No.
Just submit.
Come on...
Submit!
♪ If this bitch gets wild, I might just body bag him
♪ And if I am the genie, this prick is Aladdin
♪ But fuck your three wishes, you'll never ever have 'em
♪ Stop trying to be what your mind cannot fathom
♪ Curry and kebab, it's the only thing you're munching
♪ You should probably blame your dad for your erectile dysfunction ♪
Oh!
All right, all right, all right, all right. Listen, listen, listen, listen.
♪ His father...
♪ His father opened a Nigerian hair salon
♪ What a hack!
♪ I guess he's not the only Paki trying to be black ♪
Oh!
This is our art form, our heritage.
You can't come and appropriate it, repackage and sell it.
Your dad should have been driving a bus or a taxi.
Back in the day, my ancestors were in the back seat.
But nowadays, I'm on the front line.
He raps weak. What?
Come on, then!
♪ You want to talk about my mum and my dad
♪ That's funny
♪ Your mum eats my kebab and she swallows all my curry
♪ You wanna laugh about my dad opening up a corner shop
♪ It's your mum that's on the corner, fam, five pound a pop
♪ Yo, yo, you so ignorant, calling me an immigrant
♪ Haven't you seen your own skin pigment?
♪ We should be in it together
That's not what I'm saying.
That's not what I mean.
Shh! Shh!
♪ I tried to stand up for one blood
♪ But blood won't let me stand up
♪ Let there be no war after me, at least we'll be at peace
♪ If there is no seed after me, Zaheer will be at peace ♪
It's my mic.
Its time.
That's it.
- Yeah. - OK?
Yeah.
Abu, I'm gonna do the infusion.
Zaheer, don't be hasty.
And what? You don't have kids?
There's no time, man. I gotta go.
- There's always time. - There is not. I gotta do the tour.
OK, OK, OK.
OK.
They said it's a genetic condition.
Mm-hmm.
Anything like this ever happen to your dad or brothers or anything?
Maybe one time.
What do you mean?
Yeah, legs got stiff.
What? Whose?
Mine, who else's?
Abu...
Abu, why didn't you tell me?
What's the big deal?
Yeah, I should tell you everything.
Did you know, as you get old you go grey?
OK, you don't have to tell me everything.
But you can tell me some of the things that I can learn from.
You don't want to learn from me.
- Look at your hairy armpits. - OK, that's...
Why are you fixating on all the small print all the time, abu, man.
You would've achieved a lot more in your life
- if you could just think of the bigger picture. - That's not fair, Zaheer.
You just be a bit more practical, all right?
- Do you want me to be bloody practical? - Yes.
Then listen.
You can barely walk and you want to go on tour?
Forget this damn tour, Zaheer.
OK, so what's there gonna be, huh? Huh?
Maybe opening up a fucking... a fucking cassette vinyl store?
Do you want to do that? Is that gonna make you happy?
Since when have you worried about what I want, Zaheer?
You've always done what you want.
Yeah, you tried to stop me from moving to America.
You tried to stop me from doing music.
And was I ever successful? Did you ever listen to me?
No, but can't you just let me do my thing, man?
Do your bloody thing! I'm trying to help you!
- I just want your blessing, man. - Is everything all right?
I can't give you my blessing if I don't believe in it, Zaheer.
Sorry, I can do anything else, but I cannot lie.
What's going on? We can hear you outside.
- Everything's under control. - What's this?
It's just cupping. No big deal.
Cupping? Who did this?
I've got to do something I can't just sit on my hands.
I'm always stuck cleaning up your mess.
Shut up, woman! He's my son.
Can you guys stop shouting, for once.
Did the doctors give you permission?
You know what the infusion will do to him?
What's going to happen? Nothing ever changes!
Nothing happens!
We go around in a circle! I'm just trying to f...
Stop shouting. It's hurting him.
Zaheer! Zaheer!
Nurse!
Get off me.
- Nurse! - Leave me alone.
- Nurse! - Nurse!
Please help.
Please, can you get them away from me?
Get them out of here, eh?
And get out all your stuff from near my bed.
Take all your shit, man, all your fucking food.
Get it! Get out!
Get out, man!
Please, get them out.
Get them out. Get them away from me.
You fucking poison me with this shit.
Get out!
'Hey, Zed, how are you holding up?
'Look, I know this is the last thing you want to think about,
but I wanted to see if you were good with giving RPG your new track.
'Things are moving along on our end, and we're all just waiting on you, so...
'I really need a decision.
'Let me know.
'Call me.'
♪ Say rude boy, betta watch your back
♪ Zed is back with a wicked chat, don't watch out, the lyrics attack
♪ When I bust a flow that's where it's at
♪ When I entah inside the arena, dressed to impress, it's all desina ♪
- Hello. - Mm?
Hi.
You've got everything that you need. Everything's there and here, OK?
Well, uh...
You got any Vaseline on you?
Um, just use your foreskin.
- OK. - OK.
Oh, oh, I don't have one.
- Oh, you're Muslim. - Sorry.
Spit?
My spit?
- Yeah, your spit. - Oh, yeah, cool.
OK.
'Hey, what's up?
- 'Hello?' - Hey, hey.
'Hey.
'You good?'
Yeah.
Um... you good?
'Mm-hmm.'
You sound like you're out.
'Yeah, I'm just... with some friends.
'What's... What's going on?'
Uh, everything, man.
Um...
I'm just getting ready for the tour.
You, um... yo, you got a minute to talk?
- Please. - 'Sure let me find a quieter spot.
- 'So how are you?' - I'm all right. You sure you're OK?
Yeah, I'm good. I'm really good.
You don't miss me, huh?
You're doing a shit job of covering it up, man.
You sound... You sound devastated.
'I'm good.'
I miss you.
'Thanks.
'What's this about?'
Um...
I'm about to go and do this...
I have to go and do this infusion.
'Oh, yeah? Fancy. At a spa?'
No, it's like chemo.
'Chemo?
'Zed, what the fuck's going on?'
Uh, nothing. My body's playing up.
- 'For how long?' - No...
'What are they saying it is? Are your parents there?
'Are you OK?'
Listen, um...
This treatment, yeah, it's kind of heavy duty,
so afterwards I'm apparently gonna be shooting blanks.
- 'OK.' - Right, yeah.
So I have to freeze my sperm. It's mad.
But, um... but they...
In case anything happens me, basically,
you have to sign this form if you want to give anyone access to it.
So can I put your name down?
'Are you asking me if I want your sperm?'
Yeah, it's romantic, innit?
Yeah, Bins, you want kids, innit?
'Do you?
'Why would I inject myself with an ex-boyfriend's sperm?'
Listen, we can talk about all of that.
Yeah, but can we... can you just...
Listen, what are you wearing?
- 'What?' - What are you wearing, man?
Sneak away for a minute. We... Let's FaceTime.
The videos here are weird, man.
Just FaceTime me for one second.
- We'll talk about it all after. - 'Oh, I get you.'
Yeah?
'Um...'
'Yeah, cool.
'Let me just head to the bathroom and grab a dildo out of my purse.'
Why are you being like that?
Huh?
- 'You're so fucking selfish.' - What the fuck?
'Would you even have told me you were sick if you didn't have to jerk off?'
Well, you know what. Fuck this. I shouldn't have called, man. I'm sorry.
'No, Zed, I'm just confused.
'What did you think was gonna happen?'
I don't know.
Not like this.
'Zed.'
Bins, I'm scared, man.
'I'm sorry.'
I'm finished.
How are you doing?
Abu.
No...
What are you doing?
Abu, just stop.
Abu!
Abu.
Get up.
Abu.
Abu!
Get out!
Get out! Get out!
Get out!
Are you ready?
Oh.
Zaheer?
Yeah.
No, I'm all right.
It's just that the infusion fucks up your guts, man.
- Just in case. - OK.
I'm feeling better, though.
Make sure to use hot water or your balls will freeze.
♪ Little young, young little RPG shit ♪
Abu, can you change the channel or turn this off?
Nasra, tum it down. Please.
Why? It's my son's new song.
♪ Toba Tek Singh
♪ We gonna let the tek ring
♪ Toba Tek Singh
♪ We gonna let them check in... ♪
Toba Tek Singh.
♪ Toba Tek Singh
♪ We gonna let the tek ring... ♪
I like your version better.
Thank you.
♪ Pesticide, let 'em die, they insects will be breeding
♪ Some of them, they survive
♪ Never let them inside
♪ The dam's leaking... ♪
♪ Toba Tek Singh
That's not.. you're out of time.
♪ Toba Tek Singh!
- Better? - No.
Then show me how.
♪ Toba Tek Singh
What did you say?
Louder with feeling!
- ♪ Toba Tek Singh! - Yeah!
- ♪ Toba Tek Singh - Come in, abu.
♪ Toba Tek Singh
You never came to any shows, huh?
♪ Toba Tek Singh
Yeah? Now you get your own one.
♪ Toba Tek Singh
Like this?
♪ Toba Tek Singh
♪ Toba Tek Singh ♪
- I'll wash my hands. - Yes.
I'll be downstairs.
Yeah, that's what you get.
♪ Toba Tek Singh
♪ Toba Tek Singh ♪
Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull