If you'd actually listen to me, Peter,
what I'm saying is that you're clearly okay
with imposing white normative regulations
in order to erase my culture.
Wearing shoes in the office is standard OH&S policy, Mia.
Racist.
You're taking five 15-minute breaks a day on top of your lunch break.
Those are for prayer. I'm Muslim.
Okay, yes, but Fatima told me
that only two of those fall within work hours.
It's very sad to hear that Fatima's a worse Muslim than me.
I will pray for Fatima.
And yesterday you switched Marie's phone to silent
without her permission,
which really upset her.
Who even keeps their phone on loud?
The noises were triggering my anxiety.
I almost had another attack.
She missed a very important call.
Yes, I'm sure Marie missed a super-important call.
Her father passed away.
Mia...
Your attempts to get rid of the one woman of colour in this office
and leave her on the streets like a dog
is very transparent, Peter.
Mia, you're being made redundant.
Now, I know you've only been working here a month...
There is no way you're getting rid of me.
...but obviously you'll get a severance...
Hm?
You'll obviously get your... severance.
Well, in that case, it has been an honour working here.
Now, you already know her as the girl who pushes out bugless code,
but today she's your presentation pal.
So, let's make her feel welcome.
It's Penny.
Thanks, Richard.
So, today is R U okay? Day.
Hello!
Thanks.
Great.
So, you might be thinking, "This seems dumb," you know,
"Why should I care about how I feel?"
Men, in particular,
due to toxic masculinity,
can often find emotional connection really difficult.
Which can lead to a high suicide rate
and some really questionable behaviour.
So, as an exercise, why don't we just take turns going around the room
and asking each other, "Are you okay?"
I love it. All right, let's give it a go.
Andrew.
Are you okay?
No.
Great. All right. Why?
Because I hate this.
Ah.
Sorry.
That's okay.
Sorry.
Okay.
So...
- Is that important? - Yep, it is pretty important, sorry.
I really don't want to talk about feelings and stuff in the office.
And a lot of men feel that way, which is incorrect.
Well, that's why we have Men's Sheds, right?
- What's that? - Oh, it's a safe space for men.
Guys get together, build stuff, have barbecues, play video games.
Oh, yeah, we should have a games night.
- Does anyone have a shed? - We could do it in the office.
- We could bring our PCs. - Oh, fuck, let's play Dota.
I just feel like we're getting away from the point of this meeting,
which was to talk about our feelings.
- It's guys only, yeah? - Yeah, boy.
- We should get beer. - And meat.
Oh, I fuckin' love meat.
Oh, no.
Yes! Great idea, Daniel.
Yeah! We should go to the Ritz!
- Yeah! - Fuck!
-- Subs by kinglouisxx -- for www.addic7ed.com
We need to go out.
I'm already going out.
I'm not going to argue with you, Penny.
I've had the most triggering day.
How did you get in my house?
I got fired because my boss is racist, sexist and bald... ing.
Oh, my God, what'd he say?
Well, apparently, I "upset everyone, don't do any work
"and never show up on time."
- Racist. - Mm.
Is that a new mascara?
- Yeah. - Cute!
Anyway, I don't even care because I got severance pay,
so I'm buying us a million drinks tonight.
Why aren't you using your Mooncup?
It took so long to get it in, and then once it was in,
all I could think about was how hard it was going to be to take it out,
like my IUD.
I swear, I'm just going to let that thing rot in there forever.
Imagine every single tampon you've ever used
stuck together, floating around in the middle of the ocean.
Like those otters that hold their hands when they sleep.
Because that's what's happening.
I just don't want a tiny chalice of blood lodged in my pussy.
Every time I take it out, it reminds me of communion.
What the fuck is communion?
- Hi! - Hi.
- We have two under Austin's list.
- He's my housemate. - Okay.
He's on next. Find us a table, I'll get us a tab.
- Okay. Do you want some money? - No, I'm rich!
- All good. - Thanks!
And now please welcome to the stage JonBenet Rams-Me!
♪ All these skinny bitches dumb, yeah they know that ♪
♪ I fly high, I'm a mogul, yeah, they see that ♪
♪ All these skinny bitches check my credentials ♪
♪ Boss bitch, bout to steal your man type shit ♪
♪ But I get it you be tryna hold it down ♪
♪ You're a skinny light bitch, who ain't never had the crown ♪
♪ The crown's for the baddest ♪
♪ The thickest, the hood bitch ♪
♪ Better step back, Miss Blanks is the realest ♪
♪ You a bonafide sucker, you be fuckin the masses... ♪
I love gay!
- Ah! - Austin, you were amazing!
I know, but tell me again.
You were amazing!
- I know, but I'm sad. - Why?
I lost my favourite ring last night, you guys.
- Oh, no! - I know...
Who is that?
- Paddington Bareback. - Yeah, why does she look so familiar?
You two would run in the same circles, yeah?
Wow, Austin, not all brown people know each other.
Oh, my God, we do!
People of colour have built such supportive communities
for themselves and it's so brave.
He's a cunt.
I never actually met him, but he tried to ruin my friend's wedding
by fake fainting in the middle of the speeches.
Such a desperate cry for attention.
Oh, my God, she did the same thing at a competition
to get sympathy from the judges.
She is so fake.
I'm so fuckin' wasted!
The bitch is drinking grenadine.
Oh, my God. I, like, actively want to make his life worse.
I love making people's lives worse!
After Tim and I broke up, right before I moved out,
I unseamed all of his nice shirts
just enough so that I could hang them back up.
Then when he put them on, they fell to pieces.
And then I cleaned the toilet with his toothbrush
and put it back without rinsing it.
And then I mixed some detergent in with his lubricant
and hid in the house one night and watched him bang his new boyfriend,
and it sounded fucked up and they were so confused.
Then I got some pins and stuck holes in all of his condoms
so that they snap when they fuck,
and secretly I hope he gets AIDS.
What? They've basically cured it.
Okay, we are looking for a Honda Jazz.
Ooh! Honda Jazz!
Oh, here's your credit card, by the way.
What the fuck?! It's a Civic! Never mind! Fuck.
Um... I guess my severance pay hasn't come through yet.
Oh. Okay. How are you going to get home?
- I'll just crash at yours. - Oi! Hurry up, sluts!
It's fine, I'm gay.
Hi!
What have you got on for today?
I guess I'll look for a job.
I checked my account and my severance pay was only $400.
- What? - I know, right?
No, Mia, you put, like, a thousand dollars on my card last night.
Yeah, well, I thought I'd get more.
Rose got, like, five grand when she was made redundant.
Rose is a lawyer.
Love me?
Can you just borrow some money from your parents?
Penny, please.
My parents risked everything
and moved their lives to a foreign country
so they could give me every opportunity
and I already owe them, like, twelve hundred dollars.
Just call some ad agencies. I'm sure someone will pick you up.
No, I want a change.
You know, something salt-of-the-earth, outdoorsy,
in touch with nature.
And cash in the hand
so the Tax Office can't fuck me like they love to fuck me.
- They love to fuck us. - Yeah.
Well, good luck.
Penny. Do you have any food?
Hello. I'm poor and dying.
No, not really.
But whatever you can find you can eat.
Thanks, love you.
Love you!
Sorry.
So, Daniel, I'm just working on the next day in our social calendar.
Staff party Friday?
Ah, no, International Day For Queer Visibility.
And I know you had a bunch of ideas for R U okay? Day
and I'm so sorry that I didn't consult you on that earlier.
So I just thought if you had any ideas for this one,
that we talked about it ahead of time.
- Sure thing. - Cool.
So, I was thinking of doing, like, a Rainbow Glitter Lunch thing
in the courtyard.
Um... okay.
Sorry.
- What's wrong with that? - Nothing.
You're not saying anything, so I just thought
do you have a problem with it, or...
I don't have anything to add.
I just really feel like we should be supporting our LGBTQI+ colleagues.
I don't know, Penny. It seems to me you're pushing it a bit, that's all.
Sorry.
Hi. I'm here for the farm job.
Hey. Mia. Good. Hope you don't mind getting your hands dirty.
No, not at all.
So, as I understand, I'll be inseminating the cows?
Uh... No, I'll be inseminating the cows. You can help, but.
I've just gotta clear each of the cow's anal cavities
and then you'll come in with a shovel
and put all the manure into a pile.
Really? Because I've watched YouTube tutorials
and I've really got the three cervixes down pat.
I just need someone to shovel the manure, so...
Oh.
And, um... keep the semen warm, if you can do that for me.
- Oh. - Yeah, thank you very much.
Mm.
Bit of work to do here.
I'm exhausted.
I'm taking my break.
We've... done one cow.
Excuse me?
We've only done one cow.
Nope, I'm done.
This is, um...
This is just wrong for me.
Is it the smell?
No.
Is it the semen?
No.
Then what is it?
Uh...
It's... the rape.
Sorry?
Yeah. This is rape.
You are a 100% raping these cows.
- Well, they're cows, so... - So this is rape city.
Oh.
And just so we're clear,
I'm leaving because I have too much respect for these cows.
Anyway, thank you for everything. Bye!
I respect you.
Oh, my God, I'm so excited for Mardi Gras this year.
Aren't you excited for Mardi Gras?
Sure.
Isn't it the best?
It's fine.
I know, but, like, don't you love it?
It's all right.
But don't you love it?
It's just so sexualised.
Like, I don't understand how they're asking for respect
whilst parading around in the nude.
Oh, my God, guys,
have you seen the new episode of RuPaul's Drag Race yet?
Daniel?
I don't watch that show.
With Russell Crowe? Wow!
Um... No, I don't really watch Australian films but...
- I'm working with a homophobe. - Oh!
- Who? - Daniel.
We could kill him.
Men's Shed Daniel?
Yeah. Not just a sexist, he hates gay people as well.
Oh, we have to kill him.
He basically said that gay people are disgusting and shouldn't exist.
- Actually? - Basically.
I did not stay in the closet until I was 12 to be shamed back into it.
I know, right? I can't just stand by.
I have to do something!
Mia, are you eating a bowl of gravy?
Yeah.
What happened to your trial shift?
Oh, I had to quit for ethical reasons.
You better get a job and replace that gravy, bitch. I'm not joking.
Penny, you have to take down this homophobe. What does he do?
He codes and he destroys people's lives.
Destroy his life, babe.
Lean in.
Really? Daniel?
Far out, brussels sprout.
All right, can we take care of it next week, though?
Because I've got a lot of stuff to get done this afternoon.
Well, Richard,
I guess that really depends on whether you are or are not an ally.
Oh, yeah. Okay.
Daniel, could you please come in here for a moment, please?
What's up?
Ah, you are homophobic. Word on the street.
Um... Hello?
Yep, it's all been sorted.
Did you talk to Daniel about what he was...
Yes, and nobody meant any harm, and we can just all let it go.
- Richard, what are you... - Penny, it's time to go back to work.
Eugh.
Smashing it.
Kylie?
Paddington Bareback.
She is so fake!
I'm so fuckin' wasted!
I need to see the doctor...
Hello.
I need to see the doctor. Urgently.
Well, have you been here before?
I don't think you understand...
Well, you need to fill out this form and this form.
And do you have your Medicare card on you?
I had to rush out of the house. I... I think I must have left it...
Well, then you're gonna have to fill out this one too,
and just read over all that.
I actually don't feel very well.
Can I please just...
Sorry, it's policy.
Ohh!
Ugh.
Mia?
Oh, don't worry. He's just being dramatic.
Am I fired?
I mean, you've only just started.
And everyone makes mistakes.
But yes.
My office is full of homophobes.
I got fired again.
Mia, can you come with me to this work party tonight?
I can't face those bigots alone.
I thought you were gonna lean in.
I tried.
Oh, no!
Jesus fucking Christ!
This straight fragility that I am witnessing is astounding.
Can you please get off your slut arses and do something about it?!
I'm bi.
I already went to the top. What else can I do?
Penny, come here.
Power pose.
Confront this man.
Tonight.
And as a gay who loves a bar tab...
...I will come and I will support you.
Mia?
I'd rather kill myself than spend a night in a sweaty box full of nerds.
There's free food.
I'm sort of in between jobs at the moment.
I'm having issues with constantly being fired.
Oh.
What about you, Austin?
I'm gay.
Oh.
Okay.
Well, it was lovely meeting you both.
Austin, that's him in the suit jacket.
Uh... Hey!
Uh... You don't work with us, do you?
I'm Andrew.
No, Andrew, I don't work here. In fact, I don't work anywhere.
- Could I get you a drink? - Oh, yes.
Can I please get a whisky sour, an Aperol Spritz, an espresso martini?
I'll just be sitting over there with my friends.
This guy said he'd pay for it.
Thanks! Good luck with your Minecraft!
Okay, now remember that Ted talk.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
I am an ally.
- Perfect. Go. - Okay.
I just bullied that guy into getting us drinks.
Of course these nerds are into findomming.
I'm sorry, did I just do something with a name?
Financial domination.
Rich losers get off on women yelling at them for money.
- It's, like, this whole thing. - Ohh!
Hey!
- Hi! - Uh... Hello.
- I'm Neil. - So cute. I'm Mia.
I'm... I'm Neil.
I know, you just said.
Now give me all your fucking money
so you can go home and jack off that pathetic little dick of yours.
Why?
Ohh.
Do you have any idea what it's like to be shamed for your sexuality?
Because several of my friends do.
Have you ever been berated
for holding the hand of the person that you love?
Because I have...
...seen that happen to others.
It didn't work, goddammit.
How do you tell which nerds are the most beta?
I lost my favourite ring up that guy's arsehole.
The homophobe?
- How? - Grindr.
No, I mean, how does one lose a ring inside a man?
Straight men like you
have dictated the behaviour the rest of us must follow
for too long, sir.
I am fabulous.
My queer friends are fabulous.
So consider us glitter, because we're not going anywhere.
It wasn't till after I left that I was like, "Where did my ring go?"
And then I was like, "Oh, it slid off
"while I was fisting that guy's arsehole."
And then I was like, "Oh, no, I'm upset now."
It was my grandmother's ring.
She had exquisite taste.
Imagine what it would be like to be gay.
I bet you can't.
So, the next time you think about rolling your eyes at Mardi Gras
or not watching Drag Race or a third example,
I want you to think about this.
Guys, I did it.
I know, I'm so proud of you, Penny. You did amazing.
But he's gay.
- What? - I've been fully inside of him.
So is a piece of my grandmother.
Now, you might be thinking, "Hm, sensitivity training.
"Is this yet another attempt by the liberal establishment
"to stifle the silent majority under the guise of political correctness?"
Well, if you are thinking that, uh-oh!
You need sensitively training.
Any questions so far?
What nasho are you?
Nasho?
Thank you for that question.
What a great example of what we're talking about right now,
as far as sensitivity goes,
and in this case, maybe being a bit insensitive,
not necessarily on purpose but definitely that's what's happening.
Okay, so nationality, could or could not be, is a sensitive topic,
so we're going to answer the question,
but also do an empathy exercise
so we know what it feels like when someone asks a question
that's a little bit, ah, triggering.
The Mediterranean is the answer to that question on Dad's side,
and on Mum's, mostly Spanish.
What the fuck? What the fuck?!
Mia, what the fuck?
I'm a professional financial dominatrix now.
Pocky?
What the fuck is a Pocky? Give me that.
It's delicious.
So you found some rich gamer nerd at the party, huh?
Yeah, the key is to go even harsher.
This dude is jacking it so hard at the stuff I'm sending him
he can't stop giving me money.
Mia, this is extortion.
No, he's horny.
He... He sounds terrified.
We're role-playing!
The more real it sounds, the harder his clammy little gamer dick gets.
Dude.
Are you okay?
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