(Siren wailing)
(♪ Push + Pull by July Talk ♪)
(Woman): ♪♪ Push and pull, push and pull ♪
♪ Push and pull, push and pull ♪
♪ Darkness comes You've gotta pay your dues ♪
♪ Darkness falls, wants you to overuse ♪
♪ You're born to live but now you live to lose ♪
♪ You don't wanna wait ♪
(Man): ♪ I don't wanna wait ♪
(Engine revving)
♪ We're used to the night that leaves us unstable ♪
♪ We're used to the night We take more than we're able ♪
♪ We're used to the night and whatever's on the table ♪
♪ Push and pull push and pull... ♪ ♪ You don't wanna wait ♪
♪ I don't wanna wait ♪
(Both):♪ Take, take anything ♪
♪ I don't wanna wait ♪
♪ Take, take anything ♪
♪ You know that I'd take ♪
♪ Take, take anything ♪
♪ I don't wanna wait ♪
♪ Push and pull, push and pull... ♪
♪ I like the night ♪
♪ Don't have to hear you when you speak ♪
♪ And I like the night ♪
♪ Somebody's got to find what you seek ♪
♪ Oh, I like the night... ♪♪
(Car starting)
(♪ Black Diamond by Bran Van 3000 on stereo ♪)
♪♪ Black diamonds on silk and milk and gold keys ♪
♪ Boot-booty pop tracks got all that E ♪
♪ Ladies laid back Baby, tease cut jeans ♪
♪ City of Love, you freak and squeeze ♪
♪ Take, take, take what you wanna ♪
♪ Don't say please ♪
♪ Sweat drip, blood flow, back flex, let it go ♪
♪ Time to shine in the show, sci-fi, Super Bowl... ♪
- What? Hey, my car! My car!
(People shouting) Give me your keys!
♪ Calling out the big names... ♪
(Speaking French): Ah, shit, my jacket!
♪ I'd rather have money than fame ♪
♪ I'd rather have money than fame ♪♪
Calice!
(Engine revving)
It's about time!
(Man speaking French on radio): Toronto can bring it! We'll show them how...
(♪ Classical ♪)
(♪ Rock ♪) - That's a good one!
(♪ Bad Boy by Anik Jean on radio ♪)
♪♪ You're on your way ♪
♪ 'Cause you know you won't say it's OK ♪
♪ You should go on ♪
(Tires screeching)
(Horn blaring)
♪ You don't care It feels all right ♪
♪ No matter what they say, you're right ♪
Allô!
Bye-bye!
♪ You're a bad boy ♪
♪ No matter what they say, you're right ♪
♪ You're a bad boy ♪♪
Hey, buddy! Ready to ship.
Good news! No overtime tonight!
I found you one with no GPS and no alarm system. Cool!
Anyone need a phone cable, some Kleenex or a teddy bear?
- I'll take the cable.
Give Steve the teddy and the Kleenex.
He just got dumped! (Laughing)
Hey!
(Men shouting in distance)
(Officer): On the ground!
(Shouting)
- Come here! (Groaning)
- Come here! Come here! (Shouting)
Don't move!
- Dav... (Both grunting)
What are you doing here?
- I'm undercover! What are you doing here?
(Both grunting)
(Groaning)
- Holidays in China! - Huh?
- I'm with the GRC now. - I know.
- Look out! - What are you doing here, on my turf?
- Well, technically, the whole country is my turf now.
(Groaning)
(Both grunting, groaning)
- I've been working with them for over a year. Don't get me made, man.
- The shop is closed. We have what we need. - No, you don't.
(Both grunting)
The big boss isn't here. None of the key players are!
- What?! OK, then.
(Groaning)
- What are you doing?
- Taking you in with the others. - No way!
(Groaning)
It's not enough. It won't work.
These guys don't trust anyone!
- Have you got a better idea?
- I think so.
Put your guns on the ground, or he's dead! Now!
- Put your guns down. Do what he says.
- Guns on the ground! - Put your guns down!
- You, get over there! I don't want anyone behind me!
Nobody behind me! Got it? (Martin, over radio): Put your guns down.
- Lower your guns! Get that fucking gun down!
- He's one of us. - Away from the truck!
- I repeat, he's one of us. - I said no one behind me!
- Put your guns down!
- I want to see hands!
You drive!
- Fuck de shit de Calice de fuckin' Tabarnak!
- Your French isn't rusty at all!
- How come the guys who run the show weren't there?
- Who tipped you off?
- An informant who we flipped after he tried to sell a hot car to one of my agents.
- Well, he played you!
DiPietro and Dubois never go there.
All they do there is deactivate the cars' GPS and alarm systems
before sending them to the main garage.
- OK, you don't have to go back. We just need to find DiPietro.
With what we've got on him collectively, he's done!
- No, there's something bigger going on!
I'm sure of it. I've been on them for a year.
We can go at them harder, but I have to go back in.
- OK. But if I get a hinky feeling... - Whatever you do, don't itch it.
- I will call it off, I promise you, if you disobey a single one of my orders.
- Your... your orders?
- Mm-hmm. (Laughing)
- No, no, no, no! No, no. No.
I'm not working for you, I'm working with you.
- Provincial, federal.
My investigation trumps yours.
If you don't like it, you can leave. I'll find DiPietro myself.
And you can return grovelling to your boss
and explain how you wasted a year of taxpayers' money.
- You've changed, man!
- Thank you!
Now let's get going. I've got a tracker on me.
My men will be here any minute. How do we get you back in?
(Sighing)
(Keys jingling, car beeping)
Not exactly what you had in mind?
- Nope.
It'll still work.
OK, we'll say that you disarmed me, we fought,
you lost control of the vehicle and I got away.
It has to look real, though,
as if the airbag went off in your face.
- OK. How exactly do you imagine that... Oh fuck!
Ow!
- You OK?
Sorry, man. Show me.
That's good!
That'll work!
- You haven't changed at all.
- Thanks. (Groaning)
OK! (Exhaling sharply)
My turn. Come on!
- Huh?
- Hit me.
Come on, don't be scared!
Come on!
- Turn around.
- OK.
- This might sting a little. - Oh, come on, old man!
This isn't my first rodeo!
(Gunshot)
What have you done?
My jacket! Ow! You freaking maniac!
You really have changed!
- You asked for real, Dave.
- Not that real!
- Oh, you'll be just fine.
It's only a flesh wound.
Now, can you run?
(Sirens wailing) Can you run?
- Oui, oui, oui.
I'm not sure I like the new you, though.
- Now go! Call me on my cell when it's safe.
(Dog barking)
(Blood dripping)
(Groaning quietly)
(Breathing heavily)
- Freeze!
(Both breathing heavily)
(Laughing) - My love, put it down, please!
Be good to not get shot twice in one night!
- What are you doing here?
Oh!
(Both moaning)
- Go! Vas-y!
Envoie, Envoie! - Hey!
(Cans clattering)
Oops! Sorry, Mrs. Bouchard.
- Dad!
- Hello!
(Groaning)
- I'm taking you to the hospital! - No!
- Get me the first-aid kit! - No!
They have to think I spent the night outside, in hiding!
You want to help?
Get me three coffees and a stack of napkins!
You, Louis-Philippe! - Louis-Martin.
- It's OK.
Mr. Bouchard didn't mean it. He's hurt and under pressure.
- You, give me your hoodie and get me some speed.
You have half an hour.
- Whoa, Mr. Bouchard,
I don't know who you think I am, but I have no idea where to find...
Ah.
Oh, yeah!
OK, I might know a guy
who knows a guy who I know...
- What are you doing?
Coffee! Napkins!
- I'm on it!
- I know what I'm doing.
(Scoffing)
Litter needs cleaning.
(♪ Girlz by Bran Van 3000 ♪)
♪♪ All alone ♪
♪ In the sun ♪
♪ Was my hope ♪
♪ Nobody knows ♪
♪ I'll be fine ♪♪
- Last night, during a police raid
of a known Italian crime boss's garage of stolen cars,
a police officer was taken hostage
by one of the scumbags that he was trying to arrest.
He's with us this morning. Perhaps he has something to say this morning.
Mr. Ward, Poirier, Claude.
How did a low-level scumbag
manage to kidnap a highly trained officer like yourself?
- Uh...
When we entered the garage,
we were surprised by the pushback we encountered.
Many of them were armed.
- Didn't they teach you how to deal with that at the Ontarian Nicolet,
that sometimes criminals might be armed?
- Uh, well...
I'm sorry, but I don't know... Who's Nicolet?
- Nicolet is the Quebec police school.
Do you want me to "Conti-news" in English?
- No, that's all right!
But could you please speak a little more slowly?
- Is this my stag party?
- Where the fuck were you?
(Both grunting)
(Groaning)
- Calice!
(Sighing)
Can you tell your monkey here
that he only needs to hit me if I won't talk?
He doesn't seem to understand the rules!
When we got busted last night, things got crazy.
I managed to disarm one of them and kidnapped him.
- He made me drive to the Old Port.
I was afraid he was going to kill me and leave me there.
I braked suddenly,
and he hit the back of the seat.
- I dropped the gun. Punched him in the head.
He lost control of the truck, and I jumped.
- When I got out of the vehicle,
he was running, so I shot at him.
- Luckily, he only winged me. So, I kept on running.
You don't want to know what my night was like!
(Chuckling) - No, I'm dying to know.
Seriously, I'm curious.
- I didn't want to take a chance by going somewhere and getting pinched,
so I spent the night outside.
I stole a hoodie off a bum,
pounded a few cups of coffee, 'cause I knew it'd be a long night.
I made myself a nice Band-Aid with some napkins.
All I could find for the pain was some ecstasy.
That's it.
- You're a hero!
When I first saw you,
I thought, "Here's just another Anglo,"
but you're much more than that.
- Thank you.
- This is the composite sketch of the scumbag.
If you see him, call my voicemail and leave it a message.
10-4!
(Groaning)
- You little prick!
- Looks real, Boss.
(Groaning)
- Doctor's here?
- Yeah, he's standby.
- Tsk!
Well, go get him.
(Breathing heavily)
- When do you wanna wrap it up?
- I don't.
It can't just look real. It has to be real.
So we follow protocol. Everything by the book.
There's too much riding on this already.
- So, you really shot your friend?
- Yes, I did.
- Just to be sure, boss, we're not friends, right?
(All laughing)
- Doc, go easy when you pull the bandage off.
(Groaning)
What the fuck?
What's he doing with that?
- Hey, hey. Shut up.
(Groaning)
- What's he doing?
(Beeping)
- Loaded with caffeine. Amphetamines, too.
- Hmm!
- He needs stitches.
- Mike...
Come on, man. Untie him. Get him a drink. Let's go.
- Thanks, Michel.
- Call me Michel one more time, and I'll rip your head off.
- Michel, I'll have a scotch with just one ice cube, please.
(Chuckling)
- Ah! It's good to have you back, Davey.
I don't want you to worry. The doctor's gonna fix you up.
And here...
Buy yourself some new clothes, 'cause you smell like a homeless hooker.
Your apartment's burned.
So Mikey's gonna set you up with a room upstairs. Yeah?
- Thanks, you won't regret it.
- Oh, I have no regrets.
It's the people who fuck with me who have regrets.
- Where's that scotch, Michel?
(Breathing shallowly)
(Sighing)
- It's not the Ritz, but your neighbours are cute!
After last night, we're changing things up.
- What do you mean? - Deliver right to the main garage.
We need 25 cars in 5 days.
- 25 in 5? We just lost half our team!
- I've got new guys starting tonight.
- The deadline is new. What's the deal?
- It's none of your goddamn business!
You're early! - I'm doing the day shift.
Oh!
I thought no guys were allowed upstairs!
- He's your roommate for the week.
- You can put him in my room if he's afraid to sleep alone.
I don't bite.
And I like bad boys!
- Your rockstar suite.
- Wow!
Are you the one I call for room service?
- Don't touch my girls.
You owe me a pickup truck. I want it by 3:00.
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Try me.
(Electronics beeping)
(Engine revving, tires screeching)
- Oh!
You trust him?
- Well, he's one of our best.
- No, that's not what I asked.
- Yeah, I trust him.
- You vouch for him?
- Yes.
- It's on you, then.
- Wow!
You're deep undercover.
- There's no time for your jokes.
- One man...
sacrifices everything and faces destiny
to clean the filthy business of the curling world.
He's gonna clean it,
armed with a gun and a broom.
Martin Ward is...
Balls of Stone.
(Snorting)
(Both laughing)
- How's the shoulder?
- It's OK.
You didn't have to go that far, but it worked. They believed me.
I was scared shitless. I thought they were going to kill me!
- Hmm...
- And thanks for the composite sketch!
It was so good, I had to...
(Chuckling)
Wow!
Federal gets quite the budget! - Mm-hmm!
- We'd be two of us in a garden shed with an iPhone 4.
(Chuckling)
- OK, time to information share.
What do you know about DiPietro?
- He's been working for the Caprese family forever.
But I was recruited by Mike Dubois.
It's only been three months
since DiPietro showed up and started running things.
- What we've gathered is that DiPietro's been sidelined
by the godfather himself, and he's none too happy about it.
- You think he's ready to flip? - We hope that's the case, yes.
We squeeze him hard enough, he gives us everybody at the top of the food chain.
- That's why he wants a side business. - But it doesn't make any sense.
Why dabble in stolen cars when there's more money to be had in drugs?
- I tried explaining it to you, but then you started shooting at me.
They've been talking about a client for a while.
I don't know what or who it is, but I know it's big.
The only change is the deadline: they want 25 cars in 5 days.
And we're not going to the transit warehouse anymore.
We go straight to the main garage. Here's the address.
- Well, then, from now on,
I'm gonna be in your head 24/7.
With this little device, you'll be able to hear me.
If anything goes wrong, I can be there within minutes.
You put it in your ear.
- I know, but how...
- Turn it on here. - OK.
And you'll hear me when I talk?
- Oh yes!
- Cool!
(Chuckling)
That was some reunion!
What are the odds that you'd raid the spot I was working undercover?
- Fairly high, I would imagine, since our job depends
on being in the wrong place at the right time.
(Both chuckling)
- And you? How's the family?
- Never better.
My sister married an 86-year-old somewhat senile banker.
Lives in Switzerland now.
- And Jonathan?
- Your guess is as good as mine.
Last I heard, he was in Montreal.
- You want me to find him?
- Oh, Dave, finding people is easy for me.
Communicating with them,
apparently, I haven't mastered yet.
- Kids aren't easy.
Gabrielle is living in my old apartment upstairs.
- That's wonderful, no?
- It would be, if it weren't for Cousin Itt.
- Cousin Itt? - Her boyfriend.
It's like all he does is grow hair.
(Grunting) (Laughing)
It's hard to tell if he's speaking or burping.
Gabrielle's good. She applied to Nicolet.
- The police academy! - Mm-hmm!
All right, I have to go!
I only have a couple hours to find a pickup truck. Well, I'm right behind you.
Don't forget to put your earpiece in.
- So you'll be in my head 24/7?
- Well, I might give you some rest from time to time,
considering it's been uninhabited for so long.
(Laughing) - Wow!
The Ontarian grew a sense of humour!
You've changed, man! I'm worried about you!
- You're full of shit! That's not Price's truck!
- You don't believe me? Check out what was inside!
His new mask!
Check it out! It's awesome!
(All laughing)
Price is a man of few words. Now he'll be speechless for months!
Hey, Mike!
Listen to this! You'll die laughing!
- The whole building heard your story already.
And you'll tell it 40 more times anyway!
- Ah, Mike! You're a ray of sunshine!
You should do ads for orange juice!
- You have to bring his mask back! He'll be off his game without it!
- You want me to go up to him after practice and say:
"Excuse me, Mr. Price.
I stole your truck, and this was inside.
I know goalies are as superstitious as bingo ladies,
so I brought it back so you don't end up puking everywhere."
- Put it in the mail. - I'll bring it to him.
- You think I'd give it to you? - Sure!
- In two weeks, I'll find it at the flea market! (Scoffing)
He once sold his sister's washer and dryer...
for three mags!
What are you gonna do with three mags?
The eyes aren't right.
- And you'd never seen him before? - First time.
That's good!
I'm sure they were the big clients I was telling you about.
They were so young, though! The oldest might've been 25.
- I still can't get my head around this. Why cars? Why not drugs?
- Because there's a demand! There's a market for everything.
- You know you can actually buy clean urine on the Internet?
- Then, I'm surprised there's no high-school-diploma pushers in Quebec!
(Both chuckling) - OK, let's find out where they're from.
- Come on, goddammit!
You think you're so cool with your shitty firewall!
If I shove this up your ass, what will you do?
- That's MC, our computer whiz.
MC, David.
- Some cowboy move, stealing Price's truck, but I like your style.
You and me are going to make a fucking dangerous team!
- A team? - That's right!
I'm your eyes, your ears, your hands, your everything!
But what I'm trying to do -
what I will do, goddammit!
Is hack into the system at the Sopranos' garage.
I can see in that look you're wondering how, right?
- Oh no. That's not what I'm wondering.
- Who has poles and wires everywhere? Who?
Bell and Hydro-Québec. Boom!
If I hack into their system and bypass it...
Come on, baby! Allez!
Bang! Yes, fucker!
I've got cameras!
Who's the boss? Who's the genius?
Take that, Steve Jobs! You wanted a Macintosh?
I'll give you my Macintosh!
Take that!
Oh, yeah, Bill Gates? You thought you knew everything?
(MC grunting)
All right! Ha ha! As of now, we're a team!
I need help with the computers. Their security is tight.
- I don't know anything about computers.
It's easy. Just take pictures of their system.
Oh, OK.
- Computers, wiring, external hard drives, modems...
Whatever you can. Name it.
- Sure. Hello, Minnie Mouse? I'm undercover, you know.
You think I can walk around snapping pictures with my phone?
- He's cute. You're cute.
(Exhaling sharply)
(Chuckling)
- I need your help.
Can you get this back to Carey Price?
If they start losing because of it,
the city will go nuts, and people will lose their jobs!
- Hmm... - Uh...
Sorry, my mistake.
Leafs fan. I can't trust you with this!
Is there anyone from Montreal here?
Anyone?
Non, non, fuck you, toi!
(Whispering): Oh wow!
- I can't find the words.
- Really fucking weird, but awesome!
- OK.
- David, your camera's too low. Get it up.
Perfect.
- OK, guys...
I know we're asking a lot here,
but this is your time to step up, make your mark.
To keep you motivated, Sylvio has doubled everybody's fee.
- Nice!
- If you think you're being followed, don't come here.
Ditch the car and call me at the bar. Don't call my cell. Is that clear?
- What if we're arrested?
- OK, look, anything happens to you out there,
I want you to remember I got your bail...
- That's DiPietro.
- as long as you keep your fucking mouth shut.
(Both chuckling)
Now, for those of you who don't know me well yet,
I'm actually quite a nice guy...
until I'm not.
So, here's what makes me not:
You talk about the job outside of these 4 walls. Yeah?
You know, you shoot your mouth off
to impress your buddies, get laid, huh?
(Chuckling)
Oh, you know, another thing that really gets me
is when you don't show your face when I expect to see it.
- What happens when you're not a nice guy?
(Laughing and stammering)
- Who the fuck is this guy?
(All chuckling)
(Martin): No! No!
Not now, David!
(Man coughing)
(Groaning)
(Man whimpering)
(Panting)
(Laughing)
- Any other questions?
(Man coughing)
I'm serious! You wanna go, now's the time.
Great!
Let's go.
Hey! Help up this surfer boy.
He's one of the team now. Let's go. Help him up!
- The kid's OK. He's gonna be OK, David. I need those pictures.
David, I really need those pictures.
(Knocking on door)
- Is this a bad time?
- Is there a problem?
- No, I just wanted to ask Mike
if he had any special requests.
- Yeah, I'll print them up.
- He's moving too much.
I can't get a decent frame.
- David, your head's moving too much.
When you're on target,
try to hold still for a couple of seconds.
OK, David, I don't want to be a bugger, but go...
You OK?
- Sure.
It's the pain. It's like an electric shock sometimes.
Give the Miatas to the new guys. I want the high-paying stuff.
- Just grab the paper and get to it!
OK, David, just get me a shot from behind the computer.
No! What is he doing? I don't wanna see that guy's face.
- Is there a problem? - Fuck that guy!
- A big problem.
- You can do it! Come on, David!
Come on! Yes!
Perfect, OK!
That's the good stuff! Get closer! Closer!
- What are you doing?
- Yes! We got it!
Tabarnak! It took you long, bud!
- Michel...
Do I need to make a spare key every time I bring you a car?
Thanks, Boss. Thanks, Michel.
(Martin): We've got it. Good work, David.
- Can you ask your overexcited poodle to stop barking while I'm working?
(Chuckling): OK!
- What the fuck, Mikey? - I don't know.
Maybe it's one of the mechanics.
- It's weird. - What?
- Mike gave me the same list as last week.
- Really? OK, you have to come in tonight.
- No way. I have to get at least one car tonight.
Meet me in an hour at Ste-Catherine and Crescent. - 10-4.
- Oh, and bring me a white shirt and a bow tie.
- What? A white shirt and a bow tie?
(♪ Bass thumping in distance ♪)
I can't believe you got me helping you steal a car.
(♪ Pop on sound system ♪)
Whenever you're ready.
- On my way.
Merci.
Good evening!
Welcome to... 5!
Have a good night!
(Woman): ♪♪ No one makes me feel like you do ♪
♪ Love the way you light up the room ♪
♪ No one makes me feel like you do... ♪
Thanks.
♪ Motorcycles with girls ♪
♪ No one makes me feel like you do ♪
♪ Love the way you light up the room ♪
♪ No one makes me feel like you do ♪♪
Wow! That was too easy, man!
Let's do it again tomorrow!
- No way!
I'm the one who has to pretend I lost my ticket,
then spend half an hour waiting for my car.
(Laughing)
(Man): ♪♪♪ Princesse Des ténèbres ♪
♪ Archange maudit ♪
♪ Amazone moderne style ♪
♪ Que Le sculpteur, en Anglais ♪
♪ Surnomma Spirit of Ecstasy... ♪♪
(Talking indistinctly)
- Hey, Jen!
- What's up with that look? Are you my barback tonight?
- I have a little side gig going with the symphony.
You don't like it?
I'll have a Jack and Coke. - You sure you don't want a martini?
- Hi, Mike.
Martin?
Martin, can you hear me?
Wake up!
- I'm here! I'm here! Is something wrong?
- The three clients are at the bar. You need to tell them...
It's too risky for me.
- I'll be there in 10.
- Do it quick!
That's right, I talk to my penis.
(Martin chuckling)
I've even given him a name: Martin. - Ha! Asshole!
- I don't give a damn! Do what you want.
Just don't ask me to introduce you to mine. - OK.
I'll be at the bar if you change your mind.
- Mike wants me to take care of them.
- Who are they? - I don't know.
I don't ask questions,
as long as they tip well and take it easy on the groping.
- Gina? Jen? Can I have another? This one's empty.
A double. And three more for my friends over there.
- What are you doing?
- Five minutes, tops!
- Jen, do you have any matches?
- Uh-oh! They're angry!
Don't worry, it's just liquid!
Dry it off with your turban! - Yo, what's he saying?
- Get the hell out! - I'll take care of it.
(Groaning)
Come on! - What are you doing, man?
- It's all right. - What's his problem?
- That's nothing.
- Salut!
- OK!
Go home and come back tomorrow.
- OK! - OK?
- That way? Tomorrow? - Good night!
- I'm here.
- Listen, big shot! - Is he still here?
- You guys can't tell me what to do in my own...
(Grunting)
- Do you have a light?
(Muttering indistinctly)
(Coughing)
I'm going inside.
- David, you won't fucking believe this!
- You sure about that?
- No, Dave, I'm not 100% sure,
but seeing as there were 3 American flags hanging off the building,
2 armed Marines at the door, oh, and yes, a gold plaque that says:
"United States of America Consulate,"
I think I might be onto something.
- What are they doing there? - They're American.
- Yeah, and I'm Japanese.
On Saturdays, I put on my flip-flops and make sushi at the mall.
- She's right. They are Americans.
Show him.
- They're all at the same university.
- What system did you hack into? - None.
They're all properly enrolled.
They're even listed in our official database
as humanitarian observers and consultants.
- For who? Crooks Without Borders? - That's not a real thing.
- Thanks, Princess Leia.
- What if they're FBI?
- Fuck, this is heavy!
- They're rocks!
- FBI?
- Mm-hmm!
- Nah! No, no, no.
What next?
Are the KGB and Scotland Yard on their way for middle management like DiPietro?
- OK, you take care of DiPietro, and I'll keep my eyes on the Americans.
- Great. Keep me posted. - Hey!
Aren't you forgetting something?
- Uh, no.
- Uh, the tip?
- What tip?
- Yesterday, the guy whose car you stole, he gave you a tip.
$20, right?
- Yeah, and?
- Well, I tipped the valet, too, and I'd like to get my money back.
- Man!
You're so cheap!
(Both chuckling)
How much did you tip him? - $10 bucks!
- I want my change.
- And you're calling me cheap.
- You're $5 short. - No!
I paid $10, you got $20,
the profit is $10, so your share is $5.
- Tabarnak!
You need help. You need therapy, my friend.
Hey!
You should be in AA. Or maybe in CC... "Cheap Canadians."
"Hi, my name is Martin!" "Hi, Martin!"
"I've been a cheap Canadian since I was born,
"and I'm so excited to get 5 bucks, I'm still shaking."
- Here! Swap this out! - Whoa! You seem to think I work for you.
- Ah!
I'm sorry. Didn't I explain this to you?
Federal...
provincial.
- That's not the best way to talk to a separatist with anger issues!
- Watch your mouth, young man!
This morning, my endocrinologist told me I wasn't the right sex!
My testosterone level is abnormally high:
women are at 2, men are at 7,
and I'm a fucking 9.2!
(Door slamming)
- At least she's seeing a professional.
(Car honking)
- Martin Ward, RCMP. I need to see an official.
It's regarding a very important and delicate matter.
- Everything is important, sir.
Take a blue number. Take a seat right there.
Somebody will be with you shortly.
- Have a nice day!
Hello! Can I take your order?
- Yes, I'd like the surf and turf,
a baked potato with FOIE Gras
and a glass of red wine, please.
- Dad! OK, anything else?
- I needed to see your face.
Are you ready for your exam? - Yes, I'm ready.
Nervous, but ready.
- Let's go over the steps involved in a civilian intervention.
- Dad, I'm ready! - Tut, tut, tut!
Envoie!
- Approach, identification, questioning, listening,
situation analysis, conflict resolution.
- And if you can't resolve the conflict?
- I'll do what you'd do: make up a law or pull my gun.
- Ha ha ha!
Very funny!
(Laughing) - I'm ready, Dad.
- I know you are. If I passed it, then you'll ace it.
- Thanks.
(Car honking) - Hey!
Let's go, moron! - Calm down!
There are 40 different donuts! I need a minute to choose!
- Dad! - I don't have all day!
(Speaking gibberish)
- Drive up to the first window, please.
(♪ Muzak on PA ♪)
(Groaning quietly)
(Machine whirring)
(Sighing)
$4. 75.
- Can you do me a favour? Buy some ice cream for your mother.
Honey-lavender. - Gross.
- I can't believe that even exists. They need a bacon and ribs flavour.
(Gabrielle laughing)
OK?
- OK.
Here.
- Smile!
- Babe, 2 sandwiches for the price of one!
(Both laughing)
- What?
Excuse me. I'm sorry.
- We're serving number 159, sir.
- Perhaps you've made a mistake
and slipped by a couple too quickly?
- Impossible. It's all done by computer.
The numbers are not switched manually.
- I need to speak to somebody now!
- Ken!
We have a Code 63.
- Code 63? What the heck is that?
- Please... Thanks, Clo. Take your 15.
I got this.
(Sighing)
- Look, I'm sorry... - The paper we gave you on your way in.
- The reason for my impatience...
In fact, the entire visit here...
(Keyboard clicking)
- I'm sorry, sir. No one can see you today.
But if you want to come back tomorrow, I'm sure I can get you on another list.
- Fuck you!
- You're beautiful. - You too.
But I don't miss your biker look.
- I don't believe you! You love bad boys!
(Chuckling)
- How'd you do that?
- I have an in with your tenant.
- I knew I was right to remarry you!
You're the perfect man:
you're never here, so you feel bad and do cute things like this!
Hang on.
You OK?
- No. This is tough.
- I know, my love.
But it's almost over. - It's never over.
Sometimes I wonder why I do all this,
just to catch a couple crooks.
Then the trial will take years,
and if any evidence gets thrown out, the whole thing goes down the drain!
- Can you put my husband on?
My man never talks this way.
Do you know him? - No. What's he like?
- He's a stubborn bastard with a bad temper,
but he's the bravest, most honest, most determined man there is.
- Go on.
- He's an alpha male.
He doesn't quit until he wins.
I should know. He won me over twice!
- I don't deserve you!
- I know.
- What are you doing?
Stop it! You're hot even when you're being ridiculous!
- Really? (Chuckling)
(Knocking on door)
- Shhh, shhh, shhh! - David!
- What are you doing?
- Allô! Allô!
Are you there? - Yes, I'm here, my love.
Sorry, it was work.
That's a lie. I'm not at a motel.
- I know! You wouldn't be a good undercover cop with me.
OK, I'll let you go. I want to enjoy my ice cream.
OK?
Mmm!
- Oh! You're so mean!
(Chuckling) - Bye!
(Both talking, indistinct) (Cell ringing)
- Hold on a second.
How'd you get my number?
- Son, how are you?
- Fine. Great, actually.
- Good! That's good.
Uh, I'm in Montreal.
- Why?
- Working.
- Well, I don't have time to...
Wait, did you track me down?
- No!
That doesn't matter.
Son... we need to talk.
- What could there possibly be to talk about?
- Jonathan...
- Look, don't call me again, OK?
I'll call you if I need to talk.
Have a good night, Martin.
- Martin?
(Cell hitting table)
(Sighing)
- Make it quick.
- Watch this.
- Yeah, why you showing me this?
- There's something strange here.
- Boss! Come here! We've got something!
- They only put their guns down after he says something into his mic.
Check this out! There, he says: "Put your guns down!"
But then he mutters something else.
Right here.
- Shit!
- Huh!
(Sniffling)
OK.
- I'm pulling you out, David.
- No, no, no!
- It's getting too dangerous.
- Hey... I'm a big boy. It's been a year, and I'm fine.
- It's a miracle! So let's accept that and get you out of there alive!
We don't even know if DiPietro is still the key!
- We just need a break, and it'll all come together!
- You sound like a rookie trying to prove a point.
Is that how you're gonna teach your daughter to be a cop?
- What?
Fuck you!
At least I can teach her something 'cause she still talks to me!
- Oh, that's it?
I'm your boss. You're done.
- My boss?
- That's right! Your boss.
- It's true. He is your boss!
- Shut up! - Ta yeule!
(Cell buzzing)
Yeah?
OK. I'm on my way.
- You've been burned, David. Get out!
- He has problems with authority. Like me.
- You wanted to talk, Boss?
- We need you to do a... - I wasn't talking to you.
- a delivery to Maine, the Mustang.
Hurry and you'll be back tonight. - Give it to a kid.
If I'm in Maine, I can't steal cars, and I can't make money.
- Here's $2,000.
Should cover your gas, a Happy Meal, a bus ticket home.
You keep the change.
- OK! - OK, let's go.
- Excuse me?
Michel...
you said "let's."
Sometimes "let's" excludes the speaker,
but it sounded like you meant both of us.
- Uh-huh.
- You can't do this to me!
You can't do this to me! There's no way we'll agree on music.
I bet he listens to dance music. You look like a dance-music guy.
- What?
- Hostie, he does listen to dance!
- OK, look, you go straight from A to B. You don't stop.
And I'm talking if the Brazilian women's volleyball team's bus breaks down,
and they're naked on the side of the road, you don't stop.
Clear? - Clear.
Thanks, Boss. Thanks, Michel.
Oh, uh...
The keys?
Are they in the usual place?
(♪ Beatboxing ♪)
Hey, General! You decided to swing by?
- I just wanted to be sure you were safe.
- I'm touched. I really appreciate it.
- Don't take it personally. I'm just doing my job.
- Everything's fine. Otherwise, the little guy would be with me.
- I'll just make sure nobody's on your tail.
- You're so possessive!
(♪ On My Own by Anik Jean ♪)
♪♪ I don't know what they want ♪
♪ I don't care what they say ♪
♪ I've gotta go, go, go on my own ♪
♪ How can I be on my own? ♪
♪ No one knows what's going on ♪♪
- How many are ready?
- Fifteen. And we're still waiting on a few more.
- How long do we have to wait? - Oh, not long.
- Not long is not a number.
- 36 hours, and we got it sealed tight,
tighter than a nun's pussy, no offense.
- None taken. I'm Muslim.
(Chuckling)
- This fucking guy!
- What are they saying? Don't we have another angle?
- Let's try something.
- David, are you there?
- Yeah, I'm here. The rendezvous point is an old truck stop.
- Anything suspicious?
- Nope.
Looks fine, but the client isn't here.
There's police everywhere. He won't show up right away.
- OK. Don't leave the car. Keep me up to speed.
- OK, but I really have to piss.
- OK, but go quick. Get straight back to the car.
- Yes, Dad!
- What's the timer for?
- Yes, bitch! I've got you!
Look, Boss! We've got their computer's camera and mic!
- I'll have the satellite up in less than 4 minutes.
- Satellite?
- And you rigged it in accordance to the specs?
- Yeah, I mean, more or less.
You know, we're not doing the full-meal deal.
- Well, enough to do some damage, but not enough to end up on the news.
- Excellent point, Mike. You'll still be impressed.
- I'll be the judge of that.
- Fuck!
They're going to blow up the car by satellite! That's brilliant!
- David! David!
David, are you in the car?
- Yes, Dad! I lifted the seat and washed my hands.
- No, no! Get out of the car.
- Make up your mind, Dad!
"Stay in the car. Get away from the car."
You know the key to good parenting is consistency, right?
- David, get away from the car.
It's gonna blow in less than 3 minutes. - What?
- David, you've been made!
They're testing their satellite, and you're the crash-test dummy!
- Wait! What satellite?
- They're gonna blow up the car by satellite signal! Get out now!
(Siren wailing)
Fuck, David! What are you doing? - I can't leave the car here.
There's a ton of people around! - Shit!
(Horn honking) Fuck, David! Calice!
- Come on!
Ah, shit! - What?
- Cops!
- Uh, the car seems to be moving.
- What? - Why is it moving? Mike?
- I don't know. - You don't know?
OK, Blow it! Blow it now!
- Do it! - I need to rearrange the coordinates.
- Come on. Décalice!
Out, out, out!
Shit!
(Grunting, exhaling sharply)
(Siren stops)
Fuck!
- OK, the satellite is locked.
(Beeping)
- Shit!
The GPS is starting a countdown!
- Turn off their computer! - I can't!
(Police in distance): Stay back, everyone! - Stay in your car, sir!
- Back away! Back up! My car's gonna blow!
- Stay in your car!
- Keep everybody away! Stay away, everybody!
- Get back in your car, sir, or I swear...
- What, you're gonna shoot me? - You leave me no choice!
Get back in the goddamn car!
- Everybody, down!
- Twenty seconds.
- Fuck, David! 15 seconds!
(Gunshots) (Bystanders screaming)
- Five, four...
(Grunting, groaning)
(Beeping, buzzing)
- Yeah! - OK.
- OK!
- David?
David?
Can you hear me?
(Groaning)
David?
David!
Talk to me!
- Martin!
(All sighing)
- Yes! - Thank God!
- Martin, can you hear me?
I'm fine. I'm not hurt.
And no one...
- Freeze! Get on the ground! (High-pitched ringing)
(Muffled): And stay! Stay on the ground!
- Don't yell, goddammit! I have sensitive eardrums!
(Cracking)
- Hey!
(High-pitched ringing on radio)
- On the ground! - I cannot be more on the ground than this.
I'm a police officer.
- Shut up!
OK, freeze! And don't you move!
- Ah!
- Hand behind your back!
Now!
(Handcuffs rattling)
OK.
(Grunting)
- Oh, come on! - Yeah, you...
- Take it like this, clip it like that.
- Yeah, yeah, do the other one.
- Just clip it like this.
There you go! OK?
(Exhaling sharply)
- Yeah, I got him. I got him.
(Breathing heavily)
Holy!
- Um...
- Yeah, I'll get to you. Oh!
(Gagging)
- So, this is the first batch of cars.
They leave for the coast tonight.
- The 2nd wave heads out tomorrow. - The rest will be on the road come D-Day.
And you can trust all these drivers?
Absolutely! See, no one knows the endgame.
As far as they know, it's just another routine run.
- We have secret drop spots where the mechanics leave the vehicles.
The drivers pick it up from there.
- It's kind of like Bixi, but a little different.
- Good work!
Nobody pays to see the rehearsals!
(Engine starting)
- In 36 hours, we'll be rich.
- Or dead.
- Well, FBI's on the way.
- Good call.
- Yeah.
(Crickets chirping)
- Well, I guess I'd best go have a chat with him.
- Don't do this, sir. I mean, he's a terrorist.
- He's right. The FBI is on the way, sir.
- Captain, your wife and the boys...
Think about them. This isn't worth it!
- Well, now, correct me if I'm wrong,
but this is our town.
Until somebody comes along and tells me otherwise,
we are still in charge here.
I'm going in.
(Sighing)
Well!
Who are you, son? Hmm?
Who you, uh... Who you working for?
- Wow! Don't beat around the bush, sir!
(Female officer): Mmm... Maybe a bit too aggressive.
You don't wanna put him on the defensive.
- He's a terrorist. I think he starts on the defensive.
- My name is David Bouchard.
I'm a French-Canadian cop
working undercover for the Sûreté du Québec.
- For who?
(Anglophone accent): The Sûreté du Québec.
- He's totally making that up.
- Mm-hmm.
- Are you a German?
- What?
No. No! I'm French.
- French?
Well, now, I thought you said you was Canadian!
- Oh! - He's got him!
- Really? - Sure.
First he says he's French, and then Canadian?
- Uh, pretty sure there are French Canadians.
(Both men chuckling)
- French... French Can...?
- Which is it, son? You French or Canadian?
- I'm Quebecois, Calice!
French-Canadian, séparatiste libérale, tabernak!
Where are you from?
United Stupids of America? Or South Moronia?
You fucking dumbass!
- OK, that was not French.
- Yeah, it sounded more like Swedish.
- Yeah! Like the Swedish Chef on The Muppets.
- Hmm?
- The...
(Speaking Swedish-sounding gibberish)
- Ah.
- No, that was French.
Like, it might be some kind of, like, street,
weird, 2nd-rate, bastardized kind of French,
but that was French.
- I'm pretty sure it was Swedish. - Mm.
- You best get your story straight there, son!
The FBI is on the way.
- The FBI? - Mm-hmm.
And they won't be nearly as kind as we are!
- Whew! FBI's coming here?
- Mm.
- Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!
I'll wait for them, then.
Thanks for your participation.
Very appreciated.
- Uh, you sure about that?
- Yep! Damn sure!
(Speaking Swedish-sounding gibberish)
- You're sure? Because if you... wanted to straighten anything up...
more than happy to have a little chinwag... (Chuckling)
mano a mano.
(♪ Whistling Auld Lang Syne ♪)
Well! (Clearing throat)
Can't say I didn't warn you!
Well...
I guess I stirred his giblets pretty good.
(Sighing)
(Sirens wailing)
- All right. Let's make sure that bridge is safe.
Let's take all the time that we need to process this crime scene properly.
I want Command and Central up and running in ten.
And get the mayor on the line and tell him to meet me here in half an hour.
- Yes, sir, excuse me, can I get... - Sir, sir, sir! Just a few...
- I'm gonna make a brief statement.
- Sir, do we have information on who committed this act of extreme violence?
- Do you think that this attack was terrorist-related?
- The statement does not include questions. However, I can say that this act
was in no way related to a terrorist organization.
We do have a suspect in custody,
and I will keep you posted on any future developments.
- Can you give us the name of the suspect?
- I want the good people of Middlebrook to know
that they are safe tonight.
Rest assured, there are no further threats.
- Martin Ward, RCMP. - Stay back.
- I need to speak to whoever's in charge.
- Agent Blaine, FBI.
I have information that'll be of great use to you.
Oh, really?
- David. Agent Blaine, FBI.
- Is this man here your partner? - Well, partner is a relative term.
- Martin! - Yes, he is.
This is David Bouchard from the Sûreté du Québec.
He is one of my men.
- Then, sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to turn around
and slowly put your hands on the table.
- What?
- Mm.
- I'm RCMP!
- Sir! I'm not gonna ask again.
- Did you really think they'd let me go
because you flashed your little Canadian police badge?
You're so naïve!
You haven't become a Jehovah's Witness, have you?
I was driving a car that exploded
in the country with the most terrorist threats in the world!
Now, instead of just me being stuck here, we both are!
Good job!
Ladies and gentlemen, my partner, Martin Ward!
RCMP!
(Sighing)
I'm sorry.
- What for?
- You know. Don't rub it in.
- But there are just so many to choose from!
- Fuck you.
(Both chuckling)
- Do you think the other 25 cars are rigged like yours?
- Definitely!
It's brilliant: you disseminate stolen cars all over the States
and simultaneously blow them up!
- Even if somebody knows that something's wrong, who's gonna say anything?
I mean, they bought a stolen car.
- What do we do if we get out?
- I'll get my team together. We'll go back in, get those computers out.
We need the FBI to believe us, or we're done.
- Shaking again?
Is it that hard for you to be alone in a room with me?
- You wish!
- What is it?
- I'm cold.
- What is it?
This isn't the first time. What's going on?
(Sighing)
- I'm sick, David.
Very.
- What is it?
- I have Lou Gehrig's disease.
- OK.
Who's Lou Gehrig?
- He was a baseball player. Had one of the first known cases.
- I don't know baseball.
Is it like Parkinson's?
- Well...
It's a degenerative disease.
I'm slowly losing control of my motor functions.
So... one by one, things will shut down.
And the fun part is,
you never know what, when or in what order.
Just that they're all gonna go. Eventually.
It's like Russian roulette.
Hey, Martin. What are you gonna lose today?
The ability to swallow...
or speak?
- That could take years.
- Not many. Six, maybe seven.
And the last few aren't that much fun, so I hear.
(Sighing)
- There must be medication.
- Yeah. I'm taking them. They slow it down, but...
- I'm sorry, man.
(Breathing deeply)
Calice!
And you thought being stuck with me was the worst thing that could happen to you?
- Oh, it still is.
(Both chuckling)
I want...
I need to win this one.
I don't wanna step down...
just a sick, old man.
You know?
- You won't.
You won't.
(Birds chirping)
- Gentlemen!
You're good to go.
- Huh? - Everything checked out.
- There are about 25 more cars, we think, rigged just like this one.
- We don't know when the shit's gonna go down,
but we think it's gonna be pretty soon.
- So what's our next move? - I don't know.
- You don't know what your next move is? - Oh, my next move?
My next move is to escort you to the border,
shake your hands, thank you kindly and wish you luck.
And your next move will be to file all the necessary paperwork
that we're gonna need to conclude this investigation.
But your superiors are gonna explain all of that to you,
in both official languages, when you return.
Oh, and gents, next time you feel like
crashing into my backyard and stirring up a shitstorm,
do me a favour: call me first
so I can tell you to stay the fuck away from my country!
- What an asshole!
- He kind of reminds me of you when we met.
- Where is everybody?
- The big boss pulled the plug, Boss. - Why are you still here, then?
- My boss is you, Boss. Not your boss. - What?
- Don't ask me.
- There's no signal. I don't understand.
What the fuck?
- Are they still in the garage? - No.
- Don't you have a tracker on the device you had David switch?
- Yes, but there's no signal.
- OK. The consulate.
- We can't touch them. They're on American soil.
Besides, we don't even know if they're still there.
- Fucking fuck the fuck the fucking fuck!
- Always one move behind.
- OK.
Jen!
- Are you sure he's here?
- Yes, the bartender kept me in touch. There is hardly anyone left.
- We're closed! Don't you have a watch? - Oh! I'm sorry!
My watch is still on Vancouver time,
which means we've still got several hours left.
So step right back inside.
- Salut!
Remember me?
I don't know this Lou Gehrig, but he must've been a hell of a player!
Sorry, too soon?
(Screaming)
- Fuck!
- Police! Everybody out! We're looking for a Mike.
(Groaning)
- OK, everybody out! Mike!
Michel!
Mikey!
I know you're here, Mikey! (Jen whimpering)
- OK, easy! Easy there!
- Mike!
Don't make me shoot. Let her go. She didn't know I was a cop!
- There's no way out. The place is surrounded.
- Shut up! I'm getting out of here, or I slit her throat. Got it?
- Mike!
Let her go, and we'll put our guns down so we can talk.
- What kind of idiot do you think I am? (Cops): Mike!
- Don't move!
- Nobody's died yet. You can still get out of this.
- Shut up! I'll bleed her dry, goddammit!
- Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike!
Calm down! Look!
I'm putting down my gun.
- David! Don't!
- Let him go. He'll kill her.
- No! No!
- Put your gun down! - Drop it!
- Martin! - Tell him to drop it!
- No!
You listen to me.
If you hurt that girl, I will shoot you,
you intolerable piece of shit!
(Yelping)
(Screaming)
(Roaring)
- You fucking psychopath!
Abusive motherfucking pimp!
You won't be grabbing anyone's ass anymore!
- OK, OK, OK!
(Panting)
OK, two more? What do you think, Martin?
- Yeah, two's right. But not too hard, we need to talk to him.
(Grunting)
- OK, it's over.
- We have to go.
- That fucking bitch!
- Are you all right?
- Mm-hmm.
- As soon as we're gone, call 911.
- Aren't you the police? - Yes, but no.
You understand? - No, but yes.
- As soon as we leave, call 911.
Tell them someone's been seriously injured. Then get out.
Make sure you're gone before they get here.
You have a boyfriend?
Good. Go to his place and stay there until I call you.
I'll call you when this is all over. Then you can teach me some of those moves.
OK?
Thanks, Jen.
(Mike grunting)
- You can't do this, motherfuckers!
- Wow! That was quick!
- I learned from the best.
Shit!
- What? - My son! He tried to call me!
- Cool, that's a good sign! I knew you'd work it out!
- You assholes... (Mike grunting, dog barking)
- So, tell us everything you know right now,
and we might be willing to deal.
- You can shove your deals up your ass!
(Chuckling)
- I know you, Mike.
You're a liar, a thief and a cheat.
All about cash and chicks.
But you're no killer.
- Money has that effect on certain people.
- You think I'm scared of the police?
You gonna hit me with a phonebook if I don't talk?
- Hey.
Look around, you moron. Does this look like a police station?
You think we brought you here to finger paint
and take pictures of your ugly face?
I'll rearrange your face!
Shit! Fuck!
My wife!
- What? - It's my wife!
(Grunting)
Hide him! Hide him!
- David? - Hello!
Did I wake you?
(Sighing)
- It doesn't matter.
What are you doing? (Muttering)
- Working.
(Clearing throat)
- You have blood on your hand. - Huh?
Oh, yeah! Would you look at that!
(Grunting)
- Is someone with you? - No.
Oh, him? That's just Martin.
- Martin! Well, I...
- My love, you can't go in the garage.
- You'd better not be putting us in danger with your bullshit.
- No way!
Trust me!
(Sighing)
- We'll talk about this later.
- OK.
Thank you, my love! I love you!
I'm in big trouble.
- She's crazy about you.
Lucky prick!
(Mike): Aaah!
- Oh, shit!
(Wheezing)
- Come on, Michel!
(Breathing heavily)
Don't swallow this! It's bad for your health! (Coughing)
- I know where you live! I'll slit your wife's throat!
- What did you say?
Listen! You tell me what I need to know right now, or I'll...
- Or what? You think I'm scared of a few punches in the face?
- Listen to me, you worthless speck of dog shit!
My wife is gone, my son won't talk to me,
and I'm dying.
So if you think I give a flying fuck
whether you die tonight, think again!
You know when they say this guy did this crazy thing because he had nothing to lose?
Well, I'm that fucking guy! OK?
(Whimpering)
You tell me where this thing is going down right now,
or I will drill so many holes in your hideous face
that when the sun rises
and the beams shine through your ugly fucking skull,
you will light up like a goddamn disco ball!
- OK, OK, OK! But it's too late!
There are already 20 cars across the border.
The last batch leaves this morning.
They're all rigged to explode on the same day!
They're mobile bombs! That's it!
- Who's delivering the cars?
- A bunch of greedy kids. But they won't be back.
They don't know the cars are rigged. They're going to explode with them.
There's no connection between them.
By the time the FBI figures it out, everyone will be gone.
- Where are the computers?
- I don't know. I swear I don't know!
All we did was get the cars and handle delivery.
I don't even know when they're set to go off!
All I know is the last batch is leaving this morning at 5:00!
- From where? - Huh?
- From where? - A vacant lot in the east end!
That's all I know, I swear!
(Sobbing)
(Breathing heavily)
- Did I make him talk or what?
- Impressive. Especially using a drill with no battery.
(Both chuckling)
- Michel!
There's no fucking battery!
- Don't call me Michel!
(Gun cocking)
- You sure you're OK with this?
- No choice. No time to go for more help.
- It might not go that far.
If plan A doesn't work, we go right to plan B. Got it?
- Sounds to me like you have two plan Cs!
- Well, well! The strip-club owner is suddenly a mastermind!
Get over your fear of harmless tools
and then apply for a job with the RCMP or the SQ!
Handcuffs?
But if you're shaking like that...
- I'll be fine. Don't worry.
- You have your meds? Now would be a good time to take them.
And if you have any extras...
- Give me 90 seconds. I'll be in place.
- Well, Michel, our lives are connected.
If something happens, we're both dead.
- You guys are fucking nuts.
- That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. Thank you.
Let's go.
Martin, are you ready?
(Men talking, indistinct)
(Over earpiece): I'm coming in. 2 o'clock.
Hey!
I found your poodle. Is there a reward?
- Get in your fucking cars! Go!
- Shit! David, are you hit?
- What a shitty plan!
The cars can't go.
(Screaming)
(Grunting)
- Aaah!
- Jonathan! Jonathan!
- Drop the fucking gun!
(Screaming)
(Tires screeching)
Martin!
- Hey, you've reached Jonathan. You know what to do after the beep.
(Whispering): Come on!
- Martin! Martin!
Martin, I've got DiPietro!
Martin, where are you? Can you hear me?
(Groaning)
I need help with the kids!
(Moaning)
This will hurt, but you need to put direct pressure on it.
(Beeping) - Ostie de c...
- Fuck!
Martin, they can see us! It's going to blow!
Calice!
- Shut up! Shut up!
(Metal creaking)
- TABARNAK!
What the fuck?
(Laughing)
Martin!
- My son is one of the drivers.
- What?
- My son is driving one of those cars.
- Martin! Martin!
- He called. I could've saved him.
- Get a hold of yourself!
- I could've saved him. Now my son is gone because of me.
Martin, I understand, but this isn't the time!
I killed my son.
- Huh? - I killed him.
- No! No!
(Sniffling)
Hey! Hey, shake it off, man!
(Siren wailing)
He's not dead!
There weren't any other explosions!
But I need you now!
Jonathan needs you!
- Let's find him.
What are you doing? Let's go!
- We can't go after your son.
- What? Let go of me! - Penses-y. Think about it.
- I don't wanna save the world. I just wanna save my son!
- Me too! But we won't find your son before he crosses the border.
The only way to save your son is to stop the cars from exploding.
- OK. OK.
- Everything's ready. We need to move.
- Take a deep breath and relax, kid.
We are gonna stick to the schedule exactly as planned.
Now, what happened this morning
was just a little bump on the road.
We still have 27 cars in play
and nobody has a clue about what is about to go down.
(Exhaling sharply)
Today, we write history.
See, the fight for freedom is a never-ending fight
that demands sacrifice.
And it is worthy of everything we got.
If our neighbours are poor or defenseless,
it is our duty to protect them,
sometimes even against themselves.
Our country,
our brothers and sisters are stoned:
stoned on comfort,
stoned on pumpkin-spice lattes
and fucking Facebook!
Somebody needs to step up and save them.
Not friend them. Save them.
And that somebody is us.
Do you know why?
Because we are the true patriots.
And if we succeed today,
50 years from now... we'll be in every textbook.
But if we fail...
Shit!
Those pricks don't give up!
- What is it?
- Fucking Canadian cops!
Ali, Connor,
go and do everything exactly as we planned.
- Yes, sir!
- You, come with me.
- Sir, I wanna be a part of... - Shut up! Don't question my orders.
- No papers, no numbers today.
I wanna speak to your boss.
- It's protocol. You need an appointment.
- What part of "emergency" don't you understand?
- Sir, lower your voice!
(Men and women screaming)
- We need to talk to the person in charge, bâtard!
- Get down!
- Bon!
- Get down on your knees!
- Are they going to take us seriously now?
- Down on your knees!
- I can't take their shitty attitude anymore!
You're lucky my friend's son is caught up in this,
otherwise I'd be at home with my feet up, drinking a beer
and watching the cars blow up live on fucking CNN!
I can't handle them acting like they're king of the world,
as if the Garden of Eden itself was in sunny California!
- FBI! Everybody put your guns down!
Put them down!
(Alarm sounding)
Put them down.
I know these men. They are Canadian police officers.
They're working with us.
Gentlemen! If you would please come with me.
I was just about to call you.
- Sometimes you have to be direct in order to get things moving.
Hi, I'm David.
- Gentlemen, after our little misadventure up in Maine,
I decided to come down here and check things out for myself.
Turns out, you were right.
That man in there was planning a terrorist attack on American soil.
But we have him now, thanks to you.
And I am gonna see to it,
and I'm gonna make sure that the proper authorities know
what you both have done for my country.
- But there are at least 3 of them.
- Yes. The other two are also in custody.
We've also impounded their cars and their computers.
- And you were able to locate all of the cars?
- Most of them.
It's only a matter of time before we get them all.
- It's over?
- Yes.
It's done.
- It's over.
- Martin, David, can you hear me? I picked up the signal!
- I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to take this.
- Of course.
- Yes, MC?
- I've got their computer's signal! They reconnected!
- Slow down. Explain this to me again.
- I can't hack in, but the tracker is up.
- That's impossible, MC.
I'm here in the Consulate.
They have the guys and the computers.
- I have the tracker! It's moving!
It's on the move, but it must be hooked up to a generator.
- OK. Don't lose it.
Keep your line open.
And don't say a damn word until I call you back. Clear?
- Clear!
- Um, when did you get them into custody?
- The suspects were brought in at about 8:00 p.m. yesterday evening.
- Then you have the wrong computers.
Shit is still blowing up!
Three more cars exploded this morning,
which tells me that this mission is still very much in progress.
- Put your hands behind your head.
Put your hands behind your head! Do it now.
Turn the fuck around!
- What the fuck?
- I knew you were an asshole. But a traitor?
- You've got it wrong.
You've got it wrong! I am a patriot.
You see, all of those cars are gonna blow up
in front of mosques in my country.
We're not gonna stand for these
extremist, radical sons of bitches anymore!
- And killing innocent people is your solution?
- Oh, here comes the liberal, bleeding-heart rhetoric
from the more stupid breed of Canadian:
the French one!
No one is innocent!
No one!
How do you fight cancer? By talking to it?
No! You eradicate it. You kill it!
And I'm not even talking about an eye for an eye here.
If someone sends one of my own to hospital,
I will send 3 of theirs to see Allah himself.
(Groaning)
- Oh yeah? You want to meet a real hardhead?
(Both panting)
- You OK? - Oh yeah!
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
(Grunting)
- Let's go!
MC? Are you there? - Yes!
- OK. You need to get in touch with the authorities in every major city.
They're to look for cars parked near mosques, the drivers waiting inside them.
- Already on it, sir!
- David, lose the gun. Lose the gun. - What?
(Alarm beeping)
Monsieur?
Shhh!
Without the gun, he wouldn't have given us the car.
Well, maybe.
- MC, can you hear me? - Yes, Boss!
- Still have the signal? You need to guide us. We're going east on President-Kennedy.
- You should be close.
He just stopped.
- There! The armoured truck. That must be it.
- Shit!
- Yes, there it goes!
- That's it! We've got it.
Watch out!
(Horn honking)
Shit!
No space, no space!
- There's plenty of room! - Shit!
- It's tight, but we'll make it.
(Tires screeching)
(Grunting)
(Both grunting)
I knew we'd make it!
- Shit!
- Are you crazy?
- That's it. We're police officers.
There's no way out!
Open the doors slowly and come out.
We won't hurt you. All we wanna do is talk to you.
(Man): God bless America!
(Gunshot)
(Body thudding)
- No! Oh shit!
(Beeping)
Fuck!
- Tabernak!
- Goddammit!
MC!
- I'm listening.
- Can you shut this thing down?
- No, but I found the GPS coordinates of some of the cars.
- Give them to Logan. Have him call all the local authorities.
- I'm on it, Boss! - Keep me posted!
- There's no time to find the cars and disarm them! - I know!
- We have to get the truck out of signal range.
- We could submerge it.
That might work. It has to work.
- Submerge it! That's good! But how the fuck do we do that?
I know! We'll call the fire department...
Open up!
- I love you, my friend.
- Man, those pills are strong!
Martin, don't do this to me!
Oh, sorry!
Police! I need your bike.
- Fuck you, dude! - I'm a cop!
- I don't give a shit!
- Ayoye!
- You asshole! This is going on YouTube, pig!
What's your badge number? - 728!
- Fuck you!
- Jesus! - Martin!
- David, seriously? - Hey, Martin!
Martin! Mart...
What's your problem?
- David, get off! Let me do this! - What are you doing?
- Please, get off! Don't do this to me! - You wanna die? You'll have to kill me!
- Just get the fuck out of the way! - No way! You're my partner!
You want to drive into the river? Fine! Let's drive into the river!
- Get out of the way!
Get out of the fucking way!
Jesus, David!
- Oh shit!
- You fucking hot dog, teenager,
shit-disturbing Quebecois de fucking tête de cochon
de tabernak!
- Your French is coming along great!
Immersion really works!
I'm sure the computer system is down now!
- We need to be sure.
It's still on!
Seven minutes left.
NEW YORK MOSQUE (Horns honking, sirens wailing)
- No way! Fuck the Bruins, bro! Let's go see the Knicks!
- Ah, come on, man! They're playing the Penguins!
- Stef, we can see that redneck shit whenever we want!
Besides, basketball is way cooler.
I mean, hockey doesn't have cheerleaders.
(Laughing)
- All right, all right. You got me. BOSTON MOSQUE
I'll meet you there. We'll split the plane ticket.
Deal?
- Deal.
- OK. - Right there.
(Grunting)
(Panting)
Fuck!
What do we do now?
(Choir):♪ Alleluia ♪
♪♪ Mercredi matin, I'empereur, sa femme et Le petit prince ♪
♪ Sont Venus Chez moi pour me serrer la pince ♪
♪ Comme j'étais partie ♪
♪ Le petit prince a dit ♪♪
(Rock music)
Police! Disperse!
- "Disperse?" Where do you think you are?
Police! Get the fuck out of the way! - Fuck you!
No, no! Fuck!
Don't shoot, don't shoot! J'ai pas de gun!
(Officers shouting, indistinct)
- Stef!
(Officer): Answer me! On the ground, on the ground!
(Siren wailing)
- Décalice! Get out of the way!
Can you go any faster? Come on!
- Don't touch that!
- Shit! Ah!
(Beeping)
Yeah! Yeah!
That's it! That's it!
OK, get it down.
- I don't know how!
- Come back straight!
- "Come back straight"? This isn't a freaking scooter!
- You need to go down! - I know!
Don't touch it! One thing at a time!
It's not that one! You've tried it four times already!
- Push them all! Come on!
- You think it worked? - I don't know.
- How can we find out?
(Breathing heavily)
(Cell buzzing)
- Yes?
- It's me.
Look, I did... I did something really bad.
I'm sorry, Dad. I... I need you.
- Where are you, son? - I'm in New York.
I drove a stolen car here.
- Where's the car now?
- It's across the street. I just left it.
The cops are here looking for me.
- Did the car blow up?
- What? No! Why? What are you talking about?
- Everything is gonna be fine.
- Dad, I'm scared.
- Listen to me.
You're gonna walk. You don't take the subway.
You walk for 20 minutes.
- Where? - In any direction.
Just away from there. All right?
After 20 minutes, you're gonna hail a cab,
and you're gonna go to the Canadian consulate.
- I don't know where that is.
- It's near Rockefeller Center.
All right? They'll be waiting for you. When you get there, you call me, you hear?
- Yeah.
- Everything's going to be OK, son.
- I'm sorry, Dad. I'm so sorry.
- Just start walking.
- I love you, Dad.
- Me too. So much.
Now go!
- OK.
(Horn honking)
(Martin breathing heavily)
(Laughing)
(Martin talking, indistinct)
- We did it!
- What?
- He's alive!
- Whoo-hoo!
(♪ Alive by Anik Jean and Arkells ♪)
♪♪ If we try to survive ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ Feel my heart I'm alive ♪
♪ Oh, oh... ♪
- Oh!
(Both crying)
- It's over, man.
(Music)
♪ If we try to survive ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
SEVEN MONTHS LATER
♪ See the beauty in life ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ If we try to survive ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ Feel my heart I'm alive ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ With love, guys, count to five ♪
♪ I know you like the back of my hand ♪
♪ Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq... ♪
- The beaver and the duck are on standby.
- The beaver and the duck?
- I wonder which one I am.
- You're probably the duck.
(Chuckling)
- Thirty seconds, gentlemen.
- You OK?
- Yeah.
- Love you too, mon chum.
(Laughing)
♪ If we try to survive ♪
♪ Oh, oh... ♪
- For the first time since the Second World War,
the American Medal of Honor is presented to a Canadian,
2 Canadians, in fact.
Heroes.
These men risked their lives to save hundreds of Americans,
and for that, we are forever grateful.
Thank you for what you did for our country.
- It was an honour, Mr. President.
- Thank you for what you did for our country.
- Wow, uh...
Mister President, it was an honour "Tabarnak,"
(Spectators laughing)
He spoke to me in French!
I bet he didn't even do that for Céline!
♪ If we try to survive ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ See the beauty in life ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ If we try to survive ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ Feel my heart I'm alive ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ Feel my heart I'm alive ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ I'm alive, oh, oh ♪♪
(♪ Hold On by Frank Turner ♪)
♪♪ Je serai toujours fier ♪
♪ Peu m'importe la guerre ♪
♪ Je serai là, mon frère ♪
♪ Crois-moi when I say ♪
♪ Je prendrai le dernier coup ♪
♪ Sans peur et sans regret ♪
♪ I'm scared of what the future holds ♪
♪ Don't wanna wait no more ♪
♪ For someone to tell me more ♪
♪ I don't wanna die alone ♪
♪ Does anyone feel the cold? ♪
♪ One song inside of me ♪
♪ Hold on, hold on ♪
♪ Je saurai te défendre ♪
♪ Ensemble, nous vaincrons, my friend ♪
♪ Hold on, hold on ♪
♪ Don't leave me here again, brother ♪
♪ I need to fight and win ♪
♪ Till the end ♪
♪ Je me battrai pour toi ♪
♪ Forever, jusqu'à la fin ♪
♪ Trust me, je serai là ♪
♪ I can't fail again ♪
♪ I swear I will survive ♪
♪ This battle won't wait on me ♪
♪ I promise you I'll try ♪
♪ Hold on, hold on ♪
♪ Je saurai te défendre ♪
♪ Ensemble, nous vaincrons, my friend ♪
♪ Hold on, hold on ♪
♪ Don't leave me here again, brother ♪
♪ I need to fight and win ♪
♪ Until ♪
♪ Until the end ♪
♪ Hold on, hold on ♪
♪ Je saurai te défendre ♪
♪ Ensemble, nous vaincrons, my friend ♪
♪ Hold on, hold on ♪
♪ Don't leave me here again, brother ♪
♪ I need to fight and win ♪
♪ Hold on, hold on ♪
♪ Je saurai te défendre ♪
♪ Ensemble, nous vaincrons, my friend ♪
♪ Hold on, hold on ♪
♪ Don't leave me here again, brother ♪
♪ I need to fight and win ♪
♪ Until the end ♪
♪ Until the end ♪♪