喬伊，試鏡結果怎麼樣？ 不可思議 - Hey Joey,how'd the audition go? - Incredible!
我這回碰到導演了 你們絕對不會相信是誰的 I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was.
誰呀？ - Who?
好，我給你們一個提示 - All right. I'll give you one hint.
華倫比提（美國最偉大的導演、劇作家和演員） Warren Beatty.
對，只是有件事 或許會成為問題 Yeah,there's just one thing that might be kind've a problem.
我…必須要吻一個男人 See,I,uh,had to kiss this guy.
因為他可愛死了？ 'Cause he was just so darn cute.
不，那是試鏡的一部份 我試鏡的角色是… No,as part of the audition. See,I'm up for this part of this guy,
…男主角要親的男人 who the main guy kisses.
你是個演員那你就放嘴去吻吧 Well,hey. You're an actor,I say you just suck it up and do it.
去做吧 Or you just do it.
我吻了，我很專業 I did do it,I'm a professional.
我第一個女友是麗薩迪芭提斯塔 My first girlfriend was Lisa DiBatista...
所以我對鬍鬚的感覺並不陌生 so I'm no stranger to the mustache.
那有什麼問題？ 我試鏡完之後… Then what's the problem?See after the scene,
…比提先生過來跟我說 “好演技，爛吻技” Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says'good actor,bad kisser'.
你們相信嗎？ 我…我吻技會爛？ Can you believe that,me not a good kisser,
那就好像… that's like,
…好像是說特麗莎修女（有“媽媽”意思）不是個好媽媽一樣 like Mother Theresa,not a good mother.
好了，誰在乎他怎麼想 Well,come on,who cares what that guy thinks.
華倫比提懂什麼叫做接吻？ What does Warren Beatty know about kissing Ooh.
六人行 第2季 第24集 貝瑞和明蒂的婚禮 Friends.S02E24.The.One.With.Barry.and.Mindys.Wedding
你經紀人怎麼說？ Hey,what did your agent say?
接吻這回事絕對是個問題 Yep,this kiss thing is defiantly a problem,
比提先生星期一要再看一次 Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday.
我得搞清楚我哪里做錯了 Man,I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong.
你們哪個女的先來吻我一下？ Oh,okay,one of you girls come over here and kiss me.
你休想 說得好 - What,forget it! - Yeah,right.
不要這樣嘛，我需要幫忙啊 Come on,I need your help here.
我以前親過他 我可以再親一次 All right. I'll do it,I kissed him before I can do it again.
看到沒？這才叫朋友 You see this,this is a friend.
開始 Uh-huh,let's go.
等等，口香糖 Oh,wait I have gum.
好，非常好，溫柔而有力 Good,very good,firm but tender.
我會推薦給朋友 I'd recommend you to a friend.
那我就不知道問題出在哪里了 Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
喬伊，或許你是 不習慣親男人罷了 Joey,you know,maybe your just not used to kissing men,
或許你只是神經緊繃了點 maybe you just tensed up a little,
也許你要克服這一點 maybe that's what you need to work on.
對，有道理 Yeah,that makes sense.
除非我死了 Over my dead body!
我會用他的屍體來當擋箭牌 And I'll be using his dead body as a shield.
出來吧，你聽我說，你很美 Come on out,honey! I'm telling you look good!
跟她說她很美… Tell her she looks good,tell her she looks good.
老天啊 Oh my God,
你好美喔 you look so good!
真不敢相信我得在200人面前走上紅毯… I can not believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people
…打扮得像是當你嘔吐時喝的飲品 looking like something you drink when your nauseous.
那就別去啊 反正我不懂我們幹嘛非去不可 So don't,I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway,
這是你前未婚夫的婚禮 it's your ex-fiancee's wedding.
因為我答應了明蒂 Because I promised Mindy I would.
對，你也答應過貝瑞 要嫁給他的 Yeah,well you promised Barry,you'd marry him.
各位，我必須去，我是伴娘 Look you guys,I have to go,I'm the Maid-of-Honor.
我只是需要再跟這些人 共聚一堂… And besides you know what I just need to be in a room again with these people
…而覺得不安 and feel good about myself.
有人還穿著昨天晚上的衣服耶 有人有什麼豔遇嗎？ Ooh-oh! Someone's wearing the same clothes they had on last night. Someone get a little action?
或許吧 - I may have.
種馬（俚語） - Woo-hoo,stuud!
她長得什麼樣？ 我們還沒見過面呢 - What's she look like? - Well,we haven't exactly met,
只是在網上談了一整夜而已 we just stayed up all night talking on the internet.
傻蛋 Woo-hoo,geeek!
我喜歡她，我真的很喜歡她 I like this girl,okay,I seriously like this girl,
你們也曉得 有時我會以取笑別人來保護自己 you now how sometimes I tend get a little defended and quipy...
少來了… 不會啦… - Get out! - Nooo!
她直接批評我 她說“少來了，正經一點” Well she totally called me on it,okay. She said,'cut it out,get real',
我照辦了 and I did.
那是什麼樣子？ Wow! What's that like?
像這樣，我 It's like this,
不開玩笑 me,no jokes.
好了，你嚇死我了 All right,stop it,you're freaking me out.
是呀，我不喜歡你這樣 Oh,yeah,I don't like you this way.
好吧，咱們待會兒見了 - All right,I'll see you guys later.
再見，理查 再見 - Bye,Richard.
再見，甜心，我愛你 Bye sweetie,- I love you.
我也愛你 - I love you,too.
我覺得我男朋友好棒哦 I think my boyfriend ever so dreamy,
不知道我們的婚禮 會是什麼樣子 I wonder what our wedding's gonna be like.
你在胡扯什麼？什麼婚禮？ What are you talking about? What wedding?
少來了，你們從沒談過嗎？ Come on,like you never talk about that.
從來都沒有 Nooo! Never!
我們只是很珍惜現在的這一刻 I mean,we're living in the moment.
就這麼一次不去想 “將來會怎麼樣”，真是棒耶 God,it is so nice for once to not have to get all hung up on 'Where is this going?'
你怕問他嗎？ 怕得不能再怕了 - Afraid to ask him? - Could not be more terrified.
我認為你應該認真考慮 結婚這件事情 Well,I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing,
再給瑞秋一次扮成泡泡糖公主的機會 give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum.
我笑的是昨晚這件搞笑的紗羅織物 I was laughing at this quip Leno made last night.
我沒有笑你的裙子，我愛你 I wasn't laughing at your dress.I love you.
班尼在哪里？ Where's Benny?
他在這裏？ There he is!
班尼在哪里？ Where's Benny,
他在這裏 there he is.
說不定那是寶寶學說話的原因 好告訴大人們“夠了” Awww! You know that's probably why babies learn to talk,so they can tell grown ups to cut it out.
我有個問題想要問你 Hey,you know I got a question for ya.
只是件小事啦，沒有壓力的 Just a little thing,no pressure.
你有想到未來嗎？ Did you ever,uh,like,think about the future?
當然有 Sure I do.
是嗎？有想到我？ Yeah,am I in it?
親愛的… Honey,
…你就是我的未來 you are it.
天啊，你太走運了 Oh God,you are about to get sooo lucky.
繼續說 Keep talkin'.
有時我會幻想賣掉我的診所 Well,uh,sometimes I think about selling my practice,
我們搬到法國去 we could move to France,
做法國吐司 make French toast.
所以… Okay,so,uh,
…我們會在法國… we're in France,
…然後…我們會做吐司… we're making the toast.
有沒有小搖籃（與“矮腳長耳獵犬”諧音）在角落裏？ Do you see a little bassinet in the corner?
獵犬嗎？ Like a hound?
不是矮腳長耳獵犬 Not a basset,
是搖籃 a bassinet.
你真的需要搖籃？ You really need the bassinet?
寶寶會從狗上面掉下來呀 Well,I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog.
你沒有幻想過我們有小孩嗎？ Do you,uh,do you,do you not see kids in our future.
對，我愛小孩 Oh,hey,I love children,
我也有小孩 I have children.
但我不想七十歲時孩子開始上大學了咱們的生活才開始 I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college,and our lives can finally start.
我現在…就要你 Look I want you,now.
太棒了 That's Great.
我們現在不需要談這個 You know we don't need to talk about this now.
真的，我是說 這是好久好久以後的事情 Really,I mean this is,is so way,way,way,in the future,
我在說氣墊船（《未來水世界》） 和猿人接管了地球以後的事情（《人猿星球》） I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.
來嘛，錢德 我好想要這個角色哦 Come on,Chandler,I want this part soo much.
一吻就好，我不會說的 Just one kiss,I won't tell anyone.
喬伊，不就是不 Joey,no means no!
對不起，我們沒看到你的羊 I'm sorry we,we don't have your sheep.
瑞秋，我覺得好可愛 Aww,Rach,I think you look cute
而你…你… And you,uh,you,
我真想咬你一口 - you I could eat with a spoon
離我遠一點，我說不了 - Get away from me I said no!
理查在樓下等 - Richard buzzed. He's waiting downstairs.
理查來了？ 我要下去跟他說再見 - Oh,Richard's here.I should run down say bye to him
再見 祝一切順利 Bye.Good luck
跟你那個電腦妞進行如何了？ So how's your date with your cyberchick going.
那是什麼？ Ooh,hey,what is all that?
網址，那是古根海姆博物館（紐約著名美術館） Oh,it's a website,it's the,uh,the Guggenheim museum.
她喜歡藝術… See,she likes art,
而我喜歡怪字… and I like funny words.
她說“HH”是什麼意思？ What does she mean by HH?
那就表示我們在“牽手”了 It means we're holding hands.
你真是太可愛了 Are you the cutest?
我想你說對了 I'm afraid I might just be.
我覺得這個很棒耶 你這麼喜歡這個人… You know,what I think is so great that you are totally into this person
…可是她可能已經九十歲了 或者是有兩個頭 and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old,or have two heads,
或者可能根本是個男人 or. It could be a guy.
她不是個男的，好嗎？ 我知道她不是 Okay,it's not a guy,all right,I know her.
她有可能是個大猛漢哦 It could be like a big giant guy.
老兄，我就差這麼一點了 卻被莫妮卡用膝蓋從背後撞我 Man,I got this close to him and Monica kneed me in the back.
怎麼了？ What's going on?
我們正在猜 錢德的女友是不是女的 We were just wondering if Chandler's girlfriend is a girl.
那就問她會活多久就可以了 Oh,well. Just ask her how long she's gonna live.
女人比男人長壽 Women live longer than men.
你還能再笨點嗎？ How do you not fall down more?
你現在問她用什麼方法避孕 Okay,ask her 'What is her current method of birth control?'
好吧 All right.
“我先生跟他的秘書有外遇” "My husband is sleeping with his secretary."
她結婚了？ She's married!
至少我們知道她是個女的 Well at least we know she's a woman.
我真不敢相信她結婚了 I can't believe she's married.
老兄，真遺撼 Aw,man I'm sorry.
你心裏一定很難受了，是吧 This must be very tough for ya,huh.
我那天讀到了一篇文章說 不應該在婚禮上丟米慶祝 So,I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings,
因為鴿子吃了會死掉 because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
難怪壽司吧裏都看不到鴿子 Oh,that's why you never see pigeons at sushi bars.
你瞧，我們很開心 是啊 - See,we're having fun. - Oh,absolutely.
你知道，我們不要去想那件事 我根本連想都不想 Yeah,you know I'm not even thinking about that thing that we're not going to be thinking about.
我也是 Neither am I.
你還好嗎？ Hi,there. Are you all right?
我去上洗手間的時候，看到我結婚時，爬出去的那扇窗子 Yeah,when I was in the bathroom I saw the window that I crawled out of at my wedding,
然後我開始想我不該來的 and God,I just started thinking that I shouldn't be here,you know I shouldn't,
大家會打量我，評判我 然後就想到上一次的事 people are going to be looking at me and judging me and,and thinking about the last time.
親愛的，你不會有事的 這是場婚禮 Sweetie,it's be gonna okay,all right. It's a wedding,
通常大家都會注意新娘子 generally people focus on the bride.
天啊，我知道你說得對 God I know,you're right.
好了，大家看著我，很好 All rightie,everybody look at me. Good.
時間到了，伴娘跟招待… All right,its time. Bridesmaids and ushers
…排成兩列，謝謝 let's see two lines,thank you.
咱們婚禮後見了 Okay,I'll see you after the thing.
祝你好運 謝謝 - Okay,good luck - Thank you
你為什麼不告訴我啊？ Why the hell didn't you tell me!
對不起，我不知道應該怎麼做 I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do
站起來大叫 “瑞秋，你的屁股露出來了”？ stand up and shout 'Hey,Rachel,your butt is showing!'
是的，你說總好過貝瑞的叔叔說 Yeah! Better you than Barry's uncle!
天啊，真丟臉 Oh my God this is sooo humiliating.
我想唯一比這個還要丟臉的… I think the only thing that tops that was,was,
就是我八年級在全校面前唱《科巴卡巴納》那次了 was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school.
我大概唱了兩句就逃走了 I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out.
天啊，我悲慘的一天再現眼前 Oh my God,my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
瑞秋，聽著 我記得沒那麼糟的 Rach,hey look,I remember that,it wasn't so bad.
羅斯，你不用說好聽話給我聽 你已經追到我了 Oh Ross,would you stop,you got me,I'm dating you.
溫伯格先生，溫伯格太太，你好 Oh hi,Mr. Wineburg,hi Mrs. Wineburg.
很高興又看到你了，親愛的 It's so wonderful to see you again,my dear,
老實說 我沒想到會看到那麼多 in fact I hardly expected to see so much.
你說你什麼都沒看到的 我說過很多話 You told me you didn't see anything.I tell ya a lot things!
真高興又看到你出來走動了 親愛的 Well it's wonderful to have you up and about,again,dear.
好好保重 Stay well.
類似剛剛那種話 我今天已經聽到三次了 Okay,now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today.
瑞秋… Rach! Rach!
天啊，我結婚了… 我知道 - Oh my God,I'm married! - I know.
我是貝瑞亨特-法伯太太了 I'm Mrs. Dr. Barry Hunter hyphen Farber.
我好以你為傲，明蒂 Oh honey,I'm so proud of you,Min.
明蒂 Min.
瑞秋，你還在 Oh Rach,you're still here,
我們婚禮的這個時候 他們已經在收碗盤了 at our wedding,they were packing up the chopped liver about now.
是呀，我愛那個故事 Yeah,I love that story.
我有個問題要問你們 Um,I got a question for you guys.
為什麼大家一直說 高興看到我出來走動？ Why do people keep is saying that is good to see me up and about?
在你逃婚之後… Well uh,after you ran out on your wedding,
…貝瑞的父母告訴大家說…說你瘋了 Barry's parents told people that you were sort of....insane.
瘋了？ Insane!
梅毒引起的 ...from the syphilis.
什麼？ What?!
那我該說什麼？ 你不再愛我了？拜託 Yeah,what are they gonna say？You didn't love me anymore. Come on.
你的選擇就只有那個和梅毒嗎？ Your choices were that or syphilis?
親愛的，至少這樣會讓你的屁股秀看起來很合情合理 Sweetie, at least this puts your whole tushy show into perspective.
安吉拉？我是喬伊 Angela? Joey Tribiani.
你今晚做什麼？ Listen,what are ya doing tonight?
我知道你在跟他交往 我在想或許你可以帶他來… I know your seeing that guy,I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....
你還不回答她嗎？ 她已經放了十次話過來了 Aren't you gonna answer her,that's like the tenth bing-bong message she sent.
她想知道怎麼了 - She wants to know what's wrong?
怎麼了？ 你結婚了，就是這回事！ - What's wrong? What's wrong?You're married that's what's wrong.
天啊 - Oh,my. - What?
她想要跟你見面 She wants to meet you in person.
菲比，你聽我說 我也想見見她本人 Hey,look,Phoebe I wanted to meet her in person too,
但她結過婚了，她有一個丈夫 okay,but she's married,she has a husband.
如果這個丈夫不適合她呢？ 你才適合她呢？ What if the husband person is the wrong guy,and you are the right guy.
這種機會不是常有的 I mean you don't get chances like this all the time,
如果你現在不見她，八十歲時會氣得踢自己的屁股… if you don't meet her now,you're gonna be kicking yourself when your 80
…這個動作很難 而且會摔斷髖骨 which is hard to do,and that's how you break a hip.
我不知道 I don't know.
聽，這是一個愛著你的女人的乒乓聲 Listen. Those are the bing-bongs of a woman in love with you.
好吧，我見她 Okay,I'll do it!
太棒了 穿上鞋子然後走出去見見她 Oh,yeah! Okay! Great!Go,man,go put on your shoes,and,and march out there and meet her!
老天，不，等等… 你必須先洗個熱水澡因為 喲… Oh,wait,no,no you have to take a shower,'cause,eww.
不，你已經知道你怎麼回答她了，所以先回答她的問題 No,you know what you have to answer her,answer her first.
不…你…你先煮咖啡 因為太大壓力了 No,no,you know what make some coffee 'cause its too much.
好了，拜託再一次嘛 我這次會丟進去的 Okay,one more,please. Come on,I'm gonna get it in this time,I will.
好吧，最後一次 Okay,last chance.
再一次，很抱歉 Again,I'm sorry.
知道嗎？ 或許我不需要有孩子 You know what,maybe I don't need to have children.
或許我只是以為我需要 因為那是一種社會… You know maybe I just think I do because that is what society,
…我是指我媽啦… and by that I mean my mom,
…她一直讓我相信我… has always convinced me that I...
需要 I do,
我必須要有小孩，對不起 我必須要 I have to have children,I'm sorry. I just do.
請大家注意 Yo! Can I have your attention,please,
伴?要敬酒了 Best Man,making a toast here.
謝謝 Thank you.
我記得貝瑞第一次 跟瑞秋約會回來的時候 I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel...
什麼？你沒有換樂隊 卻要我換演講稿嗎？ What,you hired the same band I can't use the same speech.
謝謝，非常謝謝 Thank you,thank you very much.
反正，希望你們… Anyway,I wish you both a
…從此過著幸福快樂的日子 wonderful life together.
還有瑞秋 And Rachel...
什麼？ - What.
不…我很認真的 - No,no,no now in all seriousness,
沒有多少女人有這個膽子 在今天晚上回來這裏 its not a lot of women would've had the guts to come back here tonight,
而且還敢露小屁股回來的 那就更少了 and even fewer,who would do it with their asses hanging out!
我想加上幾句話 Uh,I like to,uh,to add something to that...
你要加什麼 你要加什麼 你要加什麼 你要加什麼… - Why are you adding,why are you adding,why are you adding,why are you adding?
你們大半都不認識我 我是瑞秋的男朋友… Most of you don't know me,I'm Rachel's boyfriend.
老天 Oh dear God.
…我叫羅斯 Ross,
我想說… uh and uh,I'd just like to say
…瑞秋真的是鼓足了勇氣 在今天晚上回到這裏來的 that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight.
而且呢… And,uh,for the record
…我想澄清瑞秋並不是 因為得了梅毒才逃婚的 she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis.
你幹什麼？我這是認真的 What are you doing I'm serious.
她離開貝瑞的原因…其實很簡單…她並不愛他 Uh,the reason she walked out on,on Barry is simply that she didn't love him,
所以呢，那就成就了我的美事 which incidentally worked out pretty well for me
綜上所述：瑞秋 鼓足了勇氣 So, to review:Rachel...took a lot of courage...
沒有梅毒 並且跟我在一起 doesn't have the syphilis...and wound up with me.
乾杯 Cheers!
咱們停車場見 瑞秋 - See you in the parking lot. - No,Rach!
她又再一次離開了 And once again she is out of here.
誰賭9點45分來著？ Okay who had 9:45? Um?
你知道嗎，貝瑞？ 我不想走了 Ya,know what Barr,I'm not gonna leave.
我大概應該走，但是我不走 I probably should,but I'm not,
因為我答應我自己 至少要過完一次你的婚禮 see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings.
我今天真正想要的只不過是… See now,tonight,all I really wanted was
…一點優雅跟尊嚴來度過今晚 to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity.
我猜我們都同意 那是不可能的了 Well,I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen.
我猜也沒什麼好說的了…除了… There's nothing really left to say except....
她叫做蘿拉（歌曲《科巴卡巴納》） "Her name was Lola.
是個歌舞女? She was a showgirl.
頭上插著…黃色羽毛，還穿著性感小洋裝 With yellow feathers,feathers in her hair,and a dress cut down to there.
她… She would..."
會熱舞 會熱舞，謝謝你，甜心 - Marenge,- "...marenge,thank you honey,
還會跳恰恰 and do the cha-cha.
她喜歡當明星的滋味 而東尼則是酒保 And while she like to be a star,Tony always tended bar.
在… 等等…大家一起來！ At the,wait,wait,everybody.."
好吧，我願意 Okay,I'll do it.
你願意什麼？ You'll do what?
如果在一起必須有孩子 那就有吧 If kids is what I takes to be with you then kids it is.
天啊 Oh my God!
如果必須的話，我就再來一次 If I have to I'll,I'll do all again,
我會四點起來餵奶 I'll do the 4 o'clock feeding thing,
我會參加家長會 I'll go to the P.T.A. meetings,
當足球隊的教練 I'll coach the soccer team.
真的？ 對，如果我必須的話 - Really? - Yeah,if I have to.
莫妮卡… Monica,
…我不想失去你 I don't wanna lose you,
所以如果我必須重來一次…我還是會的 so if I have to do it all over again,then I will.
你真是我遇見過最棒的男人 You're the most wonderful man.
如果你沒說那麼多…"必須"的話 And if you hadn't of said 'if I have to' like seventeen times,
…那麼我會說 “好吧，咱們生吧” then I'd be saying 'okay,let's do it.'
但是你不會 But you're not.
天啊 真不敢相信我就要這麼說了 Oh my God,I can't believe what I'm getting ready to say.
我想要一個孩子 I wanna have a baby,
但我不想跟一個 並不是真的想孩子的人一起生 but I don't wanna have one with someone who doesn't really wanna have one.
天啊 God.
我愛你 I love you.
我知道 I know you do.
我也是 Me too.
現在呢？ So what now?
現在我們就只有… I guess we just
…一直跳下去 keep dancing.
她在哪里？… Where is she,Where is she?
我有個問題，她在哪里？ Oh,hey,I have a question,where is she?
錢德，你放心吧 她會來的 Chandler,relax,Chandler,she'll be here.
她來了 Ooh,oh,oh,that's her.
對，因為生活就是那樣美好 Yeah,'cause life's just that kind.
錢德，你得停止盯著門看，那就像你盯著水壺一樣 Chandler,you gotta stop staring at the door. It's like a watched pot,
如果你一直盯著看的話 那扇門是永遠不會沸騰的 you know if you keep looking at it then the door is to,never gonna boil.
我認為你必須試著不去… I think what you have to do is try not to...
老天啊 Oh my God!
我的… OH
…老… My
…天啊 God
我的… OH
…老… My
…天啊 God
好吧 All right
我一直覺得好內疚，因為我想做個好朋友 I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this,because I wanna be a good friend,
該死，我是個好朋友 所以，閉嘴並且閉上眼睛 and dammit I am a good friend. So just,just shut up and close your eyes.
你真是好朋友 Wow,you are a good friend,
對了，試鏡是今天早上 而我失敗了 'course the audition was this morning,and I didn't get it.
但是你吻功真不錯 But that was a hell of a kiss.
瑞秋是個很幸運的女孩 Rachel is a very lucky girl.