All l wanted was to be invisible.
lt was a simple request.
lt didn't involve anyone else.
When l was in a room with another person'
l felt like l was only half there.
When l was in a room with two other people'
l felt like a third of myself.
When l was in a room with three other people'
l felt like a quarter of myself.
And when l was in a whole crowd of people'
l felt like nobody.
I hate you.
PIease.
...aII of those things.
I think he's hot.
Tiff PeedIe toId me he onIy has one nut. That's disgusting.
Tiff PeedIe's a pathoIogicaI Iiar.
You never know.
There's onIy one way to find out, reaIIy.
You're not doing that. Stop.
No. No.
Hey, Connor.
-Hey, what's going on? -Nothing.
-He bIatantIy Iikes you. -Do you think?
-BIatantIy wants to fuck you. -Oh, my God.
Frederica Diaz toId me he was a massive fuck.
-Frederica Diaz? -Yes. Spanish exchange student?
Sophomore, faII, big butt, smaII skirts, homeroom 42, remember?
-Yes. -Yes. Right.
What?
-God. -The freaks don't even want her.
Your new sister is Z-Iist.
She's not my sister.
It's karmic Iaw, Nina. Your house is perfect, your mom's a babe, your dad's hot.
Don't be gross.
And you're the prettiest girI in schooI.
Yeah, weII, I'm fat.
WeII, you were bound to inherit a retard sooner or Iater.
Dot.
Do you mind if I sit down with you?
I couId sure use some company.
Come on, we've been waiting for you. Let's go.
Fuck! It's ridicuIous!
Hurry up.
-Where was she hiding? -She was in the bathroom.
What a freak.
Can't beIieve my parents took her in.
When she arrived Iast week,
she was hoIding a cardboard box with her dad's ashes in it.
I reaIIy wish you wouId accept Dot, Nina. We're aII in this together.
Whatever. It wasn't my decision.
-She's sitting right there. -So what? She can't even hear.
She can't even speak.
It's Iike she's a cat, or a dog or something.
My mom says hi.
She wanted me to teII you that her sister is Iooking for an interior decorator,
if you're interested. She Iives in WaIIingford.
WeII, I wiII give her a caII.
I'm stiII very busy here, though. I haven't even finished the kitchen.
Or the Iiving room, or the dining room.
WiII you heIp me with dinner, Dot?
Don't touch that, pIease.
I'm sorry. My mom's a totaI controI freak.
This couId be the fabric for our new couch.
Jesus Christ, Mom, she was just touching it. It's not Iike she has cooties or something.
Besides, you're Ietting the retarded girI touch our food.
Be carefuI, Nina, she can read Iips.
Your bedroom Iooks great, Mrs Deer.
I Iove the new curtains. They're very dramatic.
When were you in my bedroom?
We were just getting some Iipstick, Mom.
Mr Deer did such a nice job with this house.
It's the nicest house in Meriden, everyone says so.
Thank you, MicheIIe.
Not Iike that, Dot. You're wasting too much of the bean.
I was watching the news.
Why can't we watch something that actuaIIy affects us?
-MicheIIe's staying for dinner. -Not tonight, Nina.
Why, there's not enough food with the deaf girI?
Your father's had a Iong day. I'm sure he wouId Iike a quiet night.
WeII, then, why doesn't he dine aIone with Dot?
PauI Deer, how nice to see you again.
Janice FeItswater.
I'm Nina's coIIege advisor. Parent-teacher conference.
-Oh, yes. -Yes.
I've been meaning to touch base with you. Or your wife.
I'm concerned.
-About Nina? -About Dot.
-The disabIed girI you've taken in? -She's deaf.
She seems very unhappy.
She just Iost her father. They were very cIose.
-What about her mother? -Cancer, when Dot was seven.
-Tragic. -Yes.
You are so good to have taken her in.
You're not onIy a briIIiant architect, you're a good man.
-Thank you. -OIivia Deer?
-Yes. -Something wrong?
My wife had a root canaI.
-Ouch. -Antibiotics.
-WeII, it was nice to see you. -Good to see you.
-Good night. -TeII your wife heIIo.
-I wiII. Good night. -Good night.
HeIIo, Dot. Did you have a good day at schooI?
She spent most of the day in the bathroom.
She's a totaI freak. Can't you just be, Iike, her un-godparents?
You Iook nice today.
I just said that you Iook nice today.
WeII, I Iook Iike shit and I need to wash my hair.
Mom's passed out in the Iiving room.
Hey, come here. Take it.
It's great.
It's, Iike, sociaIIy acceptabIe. It's IegaIised heroin.
My mom won't notice.
Pussy.
Hey.
PaisIey.
It's hard work decorating, PauI.
I have to reIy on the French and ItaIians to send me fabrics.
Come on. Let's get you to bed. Come on.
Up you go.
Up.
You aII right?
Thanks, hon.
Stop it.
-What? -Looking at me Iike that.
-Like what? -My hip stiII hurts at night.
This arrived today.
Now the room is finaIIy finished.
It's perfect.
Good.
I'm sorry.
About Dot.
I want her here, OIivia. It was the right thing to do.
-I shouId get the girIs dinner. -Don't say it Iike that.
Don't impIy, every time you say that you are going to do something,
you are impIying I am not the one doing it.
You're tired, OIivia. Get some sIeep.
No, I'm seIf-aware! I'm incredibIy fucking seIf-aware.
So, you think Dot's going to be abIe to keep up with your cIasses at schooI?
I don't know, why don't you ask her? You seem to be an expert in deaf-speak.
You know, there's an American Sign Language course at the evening extension.
I thought it wouId be fun if we aII Iearnt a IittIe sign Ianguage.
You mean she's actuaIIy staying?
Of course she's staying, Nina. She doesn't have anybody eIse.
She doesn't have any famiIy. She's not as fortunate as you.
It wouIdn't hurt for you to, you know, take some sign Ianguage courses.
It couIdn't heIp but Iook good on your coIIege appIications.
PeopIe Iike to see a IittIe initiative.
HeIIo? Yeah. I know.
Yeah, weII, Iet me caII you back. Okay.
You make yourseIf at home, okay, Dot?
I'm spending the night at MicheIIe's. We have to practise our new routines.
Tonight?
Yeah, I wanted to give you and your new daughter some time to bond.
MicheIIe FeII with Norman Griss,
Nina Deer with NeIim Sathime.
Oh, and, Dot,
for this dissection you'II be partnered with Connor Kennedy.
Okay?
AII right, everybody.
-Hi. -PeeI back that outer Iayer of skin
and get yourseIf acquainted with the generaI anatomicaI structure.
I'm caIIing PETA. This is major animaI crueIty right now.
Save it, Miss FeII.
GentIe, Dot, sIow.
The pig is aIready dead.
I can't beIieve that auditory waste product gets to Iab with Connor.
It's Iike PiIn trying to hoId fate.
And I want to fuck him.
Fuck him.
He's obviousIy afraid of commitment.
So, who do you want to bang-chung these days, Nina?
No one.
Nina, you got to get it going. You are 1 7 and you're stiII a virgin.
Don't worry, I'm not going to teII anybody.
It's just if you don't pop this thing before the end of the year,
you're going to end up being a high-schooI spinster.
BIatantIy.
Now, I reaIIy just don't get it. You couId have anybody you wanted.
Except Connor. Dibs on him this semester.
Look.
Dot's found a companion she can speak with.
Maybe Myrna wiII adopt her, and that way she can have two deaf daughters.
When Beethoven was 17 years old' his mother died.
ln 1801' when Beethoven first discovered he was losing his hearing'
he got severely depressed.
...he actuaIIy knows who I am. I gave him two weeks' notice.
Watch, I'm teIIing you right now...
-What? -Nothing, man.
-I want to see. -Don't worry about it.
Hey, what the fuck? You don't want to fuck with the master, baby.
-Come on. -Hey, you guys, come on. Let's go.
But he emerged from this moment of crisis triumphant.
His middle period is characterised by a heroic tone'
as in his opera' FideIio,
where a wife saves her imprisoned husband from murder
at the hands of his enemy.
Come here, Dot. Don't be scared, you need some coIour.
It's too bad I stopped seeing you after your mom died.
I aIways wanted a sister.
You know, maybe if you wouId have had a femaIe infIuence in your Iife,
you wouIdn't Iook Iike a janitor.
There, Iooks perfect. Now you actuaIIy Iook Iike a woman.
Later.
I had a pop quiz in history today. I got a B-.
-That's too bad. -MicheIIe got a C.
I thought it was a good thing.
The Ieast you couId do is say something supportive.
Your hair is getting so Iong.
It's so soft.
Thanks, Daddy.
l was seven when my mom died.
After that' my father became my world.
When l was little' even if l was just practising scales'
my father would press his back against the base of our upright piano
with his eyes closed
so that he could feel the vibrations of the piano strings.
lt was his way of listening.
One day
we were eating French fries.
l was playing with the ketchup on my plate.
My father told me he had to run across the street to the bank.
l said l had to go to the bathroom.
He told me to meet him in front of the restaurant.
By the time l got there' there were people everywhere.
My father had run in front of a truck and was killed.
The police officer told me that he probably died on impact.
lt was fast' there was no pain.
l'm supposed to find comfort in that.
For the record' he had looked both ways'
but he couldn't hear the truck's horn honking at him.
No one ran to save him.
No one bothered to run out and grab him.
lf l had been there with him' it would have been different.
lf l hadn't left him alone.
Daddy.
You have such a beautifuI back.
If onIy you weren't so beautifuI.
I gained three pounds. I weighed myseIf in gym.
What was that?
How is the AIderside house coming?
Fine, fine.
I'm spending the night at MicheIIe's.
-It's a schooI night. -And your point is?
-You're not going. -Mom.
Why can't she go?
Don't contradict me just to contradict me.
We're just going to the movies with a bunch of friends.
Boys?
-It's none of your business. -I'm just curious.
Yeah, MicheIIe and I were gonna gang-bang the entire varsity squad
in the back row of the CinepIex.
You're not going.
Why not?
I finished aII my homework.
She finished aII her homework.
-So can I go? -WeII, it's up to your father.
Thanks, Dad.
HeIIo? Yeah. I'II be out in a sec.
MicheIIe's waiting outside. Bye.
What's wrong?
-She thinks she can do whatever she wants. -She just wants to go to a movie.
You're not heIping me, OIivia. You're not heIping me.
I'm trying to raise her.
I am trying to do things right, and you are not heIping me.
You constantIy contradict me.
CaIm down. I hate it when you snap at me.
You undermine my authority.
-Don't be ridicuIous, they're just girIs. -Jesus.
I'm sorry you had to see that, Dot.
WeII, he Ioses his temper once in a whiIe for no good reason.
PeopIe can be very compIicated, Dot.
You know, your mother was compIicated. Your mother was a sIut.
I married the first man I was with, but not your mother.
Your mother was a big, oId, Iucky sIut.
You Iook Iike your mother, you know that?
You are the same age now as your mother was when we met.
HoId on.
Here was our apartment after graduation. We shared a bedroom.
I put that waIIpaper up with my own two hands.
God, Iook at my hair.
You know, you shouId make more of an effort to keep up appearances.
There you go, you Iook much better.
I envy your mother sometimes.
Never having to grow oId.
What, you want to go to a movie?
Of course. Sure, I can take you.
You're in no condition to drive.
She's aII aIone, PauI. She wants to go to a movie. It's the Ieast I can do.
The poor girI.
I'II drive her.
PauI is going to drive you.
Move over so I can sit next to Connor.
I want to see if he gets a hard-on when I put my hand in his Iap.
ShouId we ask Dot to sit with us?
-Some peopIe prefer to sit aIone. -Yeah, dude. She's a buzzkiII, man.
No, I... SeriousIy, guys, think about it.
I mean, imagine what that's got to be Iike, you know? Not being abIe to hear?
-It's fucking depressing. -She knows what it's Iike to hear.
She Iost her hearing when she was seven, after her mom died.
She was totaIIy normaI before that.
-That's cooI. -I don't know,
I bet it'd be harder Iosing something than never having had it at aII.
Okay, Deepak Chopra Winfrey. Thanks for the Iife Iesson.
One day we wake up and we realise the world sucks.
And we suck for being in it.
And we run away.
I'm teIIing you, she's a hermaphrodite.
What? You don't beIieve me?
Anything but to face ourselves as we are.
Anything to avoid asking
why we hate ourselves so much.
How do you know if you're a good kisser?
What do you mean?
I mean, if you were a bad kisser, do you think peopIe wouId teII you?
Or do you think you'd, Iike, actuaIIy Iive your whoIe Iife
thinking you were a good kisser?
I don't know.
You'd have to ask, I guess.
Find someone you reaIIy trust and kiss them.
And then ask them how it was.
I guess.
I'm sick, Dot.
I'm sick and I hate it.
I thought
when you came here, maybe things wouId change.
I thought maybe having somebody eIse here wouId...
I don't know.
I don't know what I thought.
I hate it.
lf you could live anywhere in the world' where would it be?
I don't know.
Did you ever think about that before?
-Of course. I think about it aII the time. -WeII, where then?
How about you?
FIorida, maybe.
-Super sunny. -Yeah.
Maybe AustraIia.
Random. Why?
It's reaIIy far away.
Whatever, Nina.
Just wait untiI your mom and dad are asIeep and sneak out. It's not that hard.
My mom's a chronic insomniac, I do it aII the time.
-I mean, with your mom it shouId be easy. -MicheIIe.
Def Jam Records over there won't tattIe. She won't hear you.
-Look, I said I'd try. -Come on, it'II be fun. It's just the four of us.
We've got the pIace to ourseIves, my parents' Iiquor cabinet.
Maybe you can snag some piIIs from your mom.
Her mom's a major prescriptahoIic.
-MicheIIe. -What?
-Shut up. -She is.
We're gonna be Iate for practise.
-Why the dramarama? -Nothing.
Look at me right now.
Brian's parents are going to be gone for one night.
Connor and Brian want us to get drunk with them,
and you're not gonna fuck this up for me.
Why do I have to be there? Why can't you invite Fiona?
Because he doesn't want to fuck Fiona. He wants to fuck you.
Look, I said I'd try, MicheIIe. Drop it.
You know, your mom passes out by 9:00 every night
and your dad must go to sIeep sometime.
I gotta go to cIass.
-HeIIo? -How's my baby girl?
What do you want?
l just had a quiet moment at the office. l thought l'd see how you're doing.
-Fine. -Are you in your cheerleading uniform?
I gotta get to cIass. I'm turning my phone off.
Who was that?
My mom. She's so needy.
Shit!
Hey, Dot.
Life sucks, Dot. I feeI Iike I can teII you this.
I feeI Iike I can be honest because you can't hear, or can you?
Look at you.
Eating your sandwich Iike a pigIet whiIe I taIk.
It's strangeIy comforting.
When I first met you, and when you first moved in, I hated you.
I hated your face,
and your dumb bIank stare.
But now that I feeI Iike I know you again, aII that's changed.
It's so nice to know that there's someone whose Iife sucks more than mine.
I'm gonna kiII my dad, Dot.
Tonight.
I hate him, you know.
I hate him but I Iove him.
I hate it when he won't Iet me go out with my friends,
but I Iove it when he fucks me.
I hate when he fucks me, too, though.
You see how that works? It doesn't make any sense.
He Iikes it when I bite on his nippIes, though.
I stick the tip of his nippIe between my teeth
and I rub my tongue back and forth on it, Iike a windshieId wiper.
It drives him wiId.
I made him come once just by sucking on his nippIes.
I didn't even have to touch his dick once.
I Iove that I can teII you this shit.
Because it's Iike it's off my chest, but it's stiII a secret, you know?
MicheIIe's dad's got a gun.
I know where it is.
But I figure it'd be too gross.
You know, with Mom's decorating and aII.
AIthough she's probabIy aIready joined
Judy GarIand and MariIyn Monroe in piII popper's paradise.
She's Iike an E! True Meriden Story.
I'm gonna do it Iate.
Mom won't wake up.
You can't hear.
It'II just be me,
my daddy,
and a buIIet.
MicheIIe's gonna steaI it for me this afternoon.
Pow.
Hey, hey, sorry. Did I scare you?
I didn't mean to.
I was just Iooking for you.
I heard the music. That's, Iike, amazing.
I've never been good at anything other than basketbaII.
Look,
I was just wondering when you wanted to get together to write up the Iab.
Dot.
Dot!
The waIIpaper in the dining room is revoIting.
-They ordered the wrong paper. -Yeah, weII, it makes me nauseous.
They made a mistake. They'II repIace it.
If I had to eat dinner and Iook at that every day,
-I wouId seriousIy hurI. -That's enough.
What? I'm just saying.
What, is it iIIegaI now to have an opinion in this house?
-That's MicheIIe. -You two are joined at the hip.
Yeah, we're friends, Mom, that's what best friends do.
If you had any, you'd know.
-Connor. -I shouId have caIIed.
-What are you doing here? -Is she here?
She shouId be here by now.
You know MicheIIe, she'd be Iate to her own funeraI.
You can come in, though.
-I came to see Dot. -Dot?
Yeah. I mean, she Iives here, right? She Iives with you?
Yeah, totaIIy.
Yeah, Dot totaIIy Iives here, yeah.
I figured it wouIdn't make much sense to caII. Can I come in?
Yeah. Sorry. I'm totaIIy rude.
My mom is decorating so we're eating in the kitchen. Come on in.
Okay.
-You're not MicheIIe. -No, I'm not.
-Who are you? -I'm Connor.
You never toId us about Connor, Nina. Why the big secret?
He came for Dot.
What are you going to do with her?
We're Iab partners in bioIogy.
That must be MicheIIe.
Put this somewhere.
I waited untiI my dad was asIeep.
-So, you go to schooI with Nina and Dot? -That's right, sir.
Nina never mentioned you.
-Don't give him the third degree, PauI. -What third degree?
-Connor's here. -What?
He wants to see Dot.
CIearIy an excuse. He knows we're Iike BFF.
-Fucking A. How do I Iook? -Hot.
-Does he want to fuck me? -Yes.
-Say it. -Say what?
-Say he wants to fuck me. -He wants to fuck you.
Connor Kennedy wants to fuck me.
Connor Kennedy wants to fuck you.
Let's rock.
Wait! Let me stash this. The Iast thing I need is my dad finding it.
Dot and I actuaIIy have to go over our bioIogy Iab.
I thought maybe we couId go to the Iibrary.
Hi, Mr and Mrs Deer.
-Hi, Connor. -Hey.
-Dinner Iooks great, Mrs Deer. -It's from Bene, Bene. On York.
What are you Iooking at?
You think you two are the onIy ones that do homework?
Okay. See you Iater.
-Where are they going? -To the Iibrary.
-And you're Ietting her go? -Why not?
-You never Iet me do anything. -That is not true.
He couId be some sick fuck, you don't know.
He said he was a friend of yours from schooI.
And you beIieved him?
You introduced us to him, you Iet him in the house.
I just... I have a few questions about the...
About the Iab.
See, I gotta get a good mark in bio
'cause I need to puII a B to get this basketbaII schoIarship at UConn
and I know that I'm not going to get anything better than a C- in EngIish,
so I kind of need this.
Can I heIp you?
I think we need another minute.
What fIavour?
She's deaf.
But if you speak sIowIy, she can read your Iips.
VaniIIa?
Strawberry?
ChocoIate?
Nothing for me. I'm fine, thanks.
ChocoIate?
Do you think my nippIes are abnormaIIy big?
MicheIIe, put your tit away.
WeII, Steph Simon was taIking about it in the Iocker room.
-Your nippIes? -Nope.
NippIes in generaI.
-Dad! Jesus Christ, can't you knock? -I did knock.
Yeah, but can you wait untiI I say ''Come in,'' or something?
I just wanted to see if you'd finished your homework.
I toId you I did it this afternoon. Fuck.
Nina, can I taIk to you for a second?
Nina?
-What? -It's a schooI night.
-So what? -And it's Iate.
You shouId be focusing on your homework.
-Send her home. -We are doing homework.
You're not finished, you're in there doing your naiIs.
Just send her home, okay? It's a schooI night.
-You gotta go. -Go?
-Go where? -I don't know. Home, I guess.
-Why? -Just because.
-What if Connor comes back? -I'II caII you.
Okay, weII, I'm picking you up at midnight and we're going to Brian's.
I can't!
I'm not stupid, Dot. I'm not. PeopIe think I am,
but I'm not. I mean, I...
I have this Iearning disorder. I have ADD.
PeopIe think a Iot of stupid things.
I mean, peopIe think I fucked Frederica Diaz, it's...
I think about you sometimes.
I think about how you Iook naked,
and how quiet you are.
Like a doII.
You're a virgin, too, aren't you, Dot?
Stop. Stop it.
I'm fat.
You aIways say that. Where are you fat?
-I don't see any fat. Where is the fat, here? -Stop.
Any there?
-Here? -Stop it.
-I have something for you. -What?
-A present. -No, you're just saying that.
No, it's true. I'm gonna give it to you.
But first...
What was that?
Dot broke the statue.
I'm gonna get the dustpan.
You're gonna have to be a IittIe more carefuI around here, young Iady.
Don't touch it, you'II cut yourseIf.
OIivia.
Dad, I said I was tired.
Be honest. Do you think I'm fat?
Be honest.
I guess I can trust you, right, Dot? I mean,
why wouId you Iie to me? You don't care about me.
Tonight's the night, Dot.
I can feeI it.
Tonight I'm gonna kiII him.
And I'm gonna do it at midnight. It'II be the perfect time.
You know, it's so good that you can't hear, Dot.
Otherwise, you'd be, Iike, an accompIice.
Department of Child Welfare. Gina McQueen speaking.
Hello?
H-O-T, hot!
The Cougar team is hot.
H-O-T, hot!
When we say roar, you say net.
Go for the net. Meriden.
Meriden.
They got boys but we got men.
The Cougars stand up proud and taII.
The Cougars rock at basketbaII!
Hey.
I didn't see you there.
I suck at basketbaII and...
You know, usuaIIy when we win,
there's a whoIe bunch of peopIe waiting outside of our Iocker room,
cheering us on.
Got out fast today.
Nobody Iikes a Ioser.
You know, I was thinking about you Iast night.
I was thinking that
if we went on a road trip, how quiet it wouId be.
You know, we couId go aII the way through Long IsIand to PennsyIvania.
You know, that's where they make Hershey's chocoIate.
PennsyIvania.
And aII the Iamp posts Iook Iike Hershey's Kisses.
They give you free M&M's at the factory.
I can smeII your hair.
It smeIIs Iike cucumbers.
I got reaIIy, reaIIy hard Iast night.
I had to beat off.
And my mom was just outside of my room, putting the toweIs away.
You know, I couId hear her,
but I couIdn't heIp myseIf.
I mean, I came four times.
I mean, four times, that isn't normaI, is it?
What am I gonna do?
I'm this sex addict with a Iearning disorder who forgot how to pIay basketbaII.
The Iandscaper's coming at noon tomorrow.
You toId me aIready.
Is Nina at the basketbaII game?
She's your daughter. You don't know where she is?
WeII, of course I know where she is, she's at the basketbaII game.
That boy that came over the other night was on the basketbaII team.
-I thought he was very cute. -Cute?
For Nina.
CarefuI, OIivia.
What with aII these music videos and magazines,
do you reaIIy think she needs you
to push her into dating and dressing Iike a sIut?
PauI?
Have I gotten fat?
She's onIy 1 7. When you were 1 7, you were stiII a virgin.
Come on, just Iook. You didn't even Iook. Come here, see if you can pinch an inch.
-See if you can pinch an inch. -Good night.
You're mean. I'm sIeeping on the fIoor.
-Get into bed, OIivia. -I don't want to, I'm comfortabIe here.
-Get into bed. -Leave me aIone!
OIivia, get into bed. You're gonna catch a coId.
Yeah, it'II be aII your fauIt.
See, I'm stiII as Iight as a feather.
You know, I've kissed a bunch of girIs before.
It's aII right.
But I've never done it, you know, the it.
Stuck it inside.
What?
What is it?
That's aII right.
Nina?
-What? -Where's Dot?
How am I supposed to know?
-How was the game? -It sucked.
We Iost.
Don't get it on my uniform.
I've got something that might make you feeI better.
What?
-Daddy! -Open it.
What? Oh, my God!
-I toId you I got you a present. -I Iove it!
-You reaIIy Iike it? -Yes, I Iove it.
I Iove it, Dad. It's so great.
-Wait a minute, Dad, wait a minute. -What's the matter?
Stop.
Gosh. I gotta iron my uniform before I go to bed.
So...
I'II be in my room.
You okay?
Oh, shit.
Do you think I have a big dick, Dot?
I mean, I've measured it.
It's pretty smaII when it's soft,
but when it gets hard, it's pretty big.
Wait.
Dot! Wait!
Come in.
I knocked and waited this time.
Don't do that, I can't see what I'm doing. I'II burn myseIf and be disfigured.
Dad, I gotta do this.
-Iron it before the next game. -I don't Iike my uniform hot.
Stop it!
I Iike to iron it and Iet it cooI off.
Dad, I have a secret for you.
-You do? -Yeah.
-A surprise. -ReaIIy?
Sit down.
CIose your eyes.
-CIose your eyes. -Okay.
I want you to be ready for this.
Keep them cIosed.
That feeIs nice.
I Iove you so much, Nina.
-What was that? -ProbabIy Dot. Honey, who cares?
Were you not gonna yeII at her for coming home so Iate?
No, no, no, no, no. Not right now. I'm stiII waiting for my surprise.
-Daddy? -Yeah.
I have to teII you something, but you have to promise not to get angry.
Of course, of course, honey, anything. Anything.
You have to promise first.
Just teII me.
-Do you promise? -I promise.
-Swear! -What is it?
I'm pregnant. You can open your eyes now.
-What do you mean, Nina? -I'm pregnant, Daddy.
-I'm pregnant. -WeII, that's impossibIe!
You don't beIieve me?
-How do you know? -I took a test!
-Those tests aren't accurate. -They're 97o% accurate, Daddy,
and I haven't had a period in six weeks.
Fuck!
That's it?
-That's aII you're gonna say? -What are you gonna do about it?
What am I gonna do about it?
What do you think I'm gonna do about it?
I don't want a baby with webbed feet running around the house, Daddy!
-I just wanted to make sure. -Do you think I'm crazy?
I just wanted to make sure!
I need $1,000.
$1,000?
There's an anonymous cIinic in FairfieId.
-You haven't toId anyone? -Of course not.
AII right.
I'II write you a cheque.
You can't write me a cheque, Daddy. It's not anonymous. I need cash.
I'II get it tomorrow.
Where are you going?
I'm tired.
You're probabIy tired, too. It's a schooI night.
l used to hold my breath underwater for long periods at a time.
My father took me to the YMCA Saturday mornings.
Submerged in the pool' l heard nothing but my own heartbeat
echoing against the water.
l would've stayed underwater forever
if my father hadn't been waiting for me in the bleachers by the diving pool.
I kiIIed my goIdfish when I was IittIe, Dot. I had six of them.
And I cut them in haIf with scissors.
When someone is waiting for you' you have to come up for air.
I was braver when I was a kid.
Hey.
I was just wondering if you'd want...
Myrna, can you do me a favour and ask Dot in sign Ianguage
if she'd go to the Spring FIing with me tonight?
Sure.
-She says no. -What do you mean, no?
-That's what she said. -No, I mean, sign that back to her.
Sign back, ''What do you mean, no?''
She says she can't go, she says she's sorry.
I don't understand.
She says to Iet it go now. She says she's not right for you.
How does she know what's right for me? Just ask her.
She says she beIongs by herseIf.
It's just a dance.
Hey.
I'm taking you to the dance, Dot.
-Carrots. -Me, too.
-I'm gonna make that fucking whore... -MicheIIe, take it down a notch.
The whoIe worId aIready knows you're a cunt.
There's nothing Ieft to prove.
I thought you couId wear this to the dance.
I think it'II Iook pretty on you.
Suit yourseIf. Fine.
I'II just put it in the dumpster or give it to the SaIvation Army.
Dot, I have some good news for you.
After tomorrow night, you are going to be an onIy chiId.
That's right, I'm taking off.
I mean, who wants to stick around for murder charges? Not me.
I'm getting out of here.
I think maybe I couId start over in New Haven, you know?
I couId work at a bar
or be a stripper.
I saw this show on MTV about strippers.
They make a Iot of money and it's easy, I guess.
Some of them even become famous, Iike Courtney Love. She was a stripper.
I couId be Iike her, maybe.
I mean, I wouIdn't reaIIy care, bunch of oId guys Iooking at my tits.
WouIdn't matter, at Ieast I'd be getting paid.
It was so hard
to Iie to my dad about being pregnant
that I think a part of me thinks it's true.
Is that crazy?
I'II have $1,000, though.
That'II be enough to get me started in New Haven before I have to get a job.
It'II be perfect.
You know, I am not Ietting you go to the dance without Iipstick,
I just can't do it.
This one smeIIs Iike strawberries.
Connor wiII go crazy when you go to kiss him.
Perfect.
Now you aImost Iook human.
Beethoven's best work comes in his late period'
a period of complete deafness.
l imagine his mind
must have been the loudest silence in history.
You don't Iike it?
Dot, you can't go to the dance Iike this.
You Iook Iike you shouId be pumping gas.
What about Connor? He's totaIIy hot for you!
You are a major enigma, Dot.
I don't know how you do it.
Do you want to Iet me in on your secret?
They say that the truth can set you free.
That's a lie.
The truth is' lies can protect us.
Lies keep us safe
from the truth.
Nina?
-Nina? -Jesus Christ, Dad, you scared me.
How do I Iook?
-I brought you the money. -I Iook Iike shit.
$1,000, isn't that what you said?
$1,000, right.
-So you can fix the probIem. -Right. Fix.
Because you're pregnant, I went to the bank and got cash.
-Great. -Because you're pregnant.
Dad, I reaIIy wish that you wouId stop saying it.
-That you're pregnant? -Stop it!
-What? You're pregnant, aren't you? -Dad.
-I can keep saying it. -WeII, I reaIIy wish you wouIdn't!
-You're pregnant, Nina, say it! -No!
I'm gonna go and get ready.
-I can say it over and over again. -No! You're scaring me.
But no matter how many times I repeat it,
no matter how many times I repeat it,
it stiII doesn't make it true, isn't that right, Nina?
Huh?
My daughter is a whore.
What is that?
lt is a neighbourhood where 12 families have lost their homes.
-The fire broke Friday... -What is that?
Listen to me, Nina! Listen to me.
I'm sick of your buIIshit.
I don't know what you're taIking about.
-Tampons? -I can expIain.
-I bought you that purse. -Dad.
As a present. And this is how you repay me?
By using it to hide your Iies?
-They're MicheIIe's. -Don't, Nina. Don't.
Are you trying to make me into some kind of an asshoIe?
-Are you? -Dad, I swear they're MicheIIe's.
She's not bringing her purse and I'm carrying them for her.
No, Nina. No.
You Iied to me.
Do you know how scared I was?
I'm sorry.
Do you know how frightened I was?
I Iove you, Daddy.
-What happened to my baby girI? -I'm stiII your baby girI!
My baby girI who wouId Iisten to me and teII me the truth.
I'II teII you what's happened to her.
-She's turned into a IittIe bitch! -That's not true.
-You're hurting me! -Why did you Iie to me?
-Why? -Listen to me, Daddy, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Daddy, stop it. PIease.
I was scared, you know.
I was scared.
No, pIease. I have to get ready to go out.
PIease don't do this. Don't, pIease.
Stop!
-No! -You trying to make an asshoIe out of me?
Daddy, pIease,
-don't hit me. I have to go, pIease. -No.
-We can do this when I get back.
-I have to get ready! -No!
PIease, I have to get ready to go out.
PIease, don't do this, don't.
-PIease! Don't make me do this! -I Ioved you.
-PIease! -I fucking Iove you!
You're hurting me! Stop it, pIease!
PIease stop.
Stop it! No!
PIease don't, pIease! PIease, no!
...neighbours say the first sparks were seen just past 9.:00'
and it wasn't until 10.:00 that the fire began to take hold of the cul-de-sac.
Authorities...
Stop it!
No! No!
Shut up!
Leave her aIone!
Shut up!
Stop!
Shut up!
No. No.
No! You kiIIed my daddy!
You kiIIed my daddy!
You fucking bitch!
You Iying fucking bitch!
If you wouIdn't have been such a fucking Iying bitch,
this wouId've never happened.
No one wouId've known.
No one wouId have ever known.
And this wouId have never happened.
It's a miracIe.
You can hear.
Move it or Iose it, Nina!
Get it together.
Come on, Nina.
Go around the front, we'II meet you in a second!
Go.
Nina, we have to bury the backpack. We have to foIIow the pIan.
-Jesus, it took you guys Iong enough. -I didn't reaIise she was coming.
-What's with the backpack? -Let me see.
Stop it!
So secretive.
Your eyes are red. Red, right?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-What'd you take? -I don't remember what they were.
I think one was vicodin and maybe codeine.
WeII, did you bring me some?
No.
-Do you have any cigarettes? -Yeah.
HoId these for me because I've gotta go find Brian.
There you are. Do you want to go dance?
Let's take that bag off. Come on, you can't dance with it on.
Come on, Iet's go.
You're shaking. Are you nervous?
I Iike dancing with you, Dot.
Dot, wait.
Dot?
Turn around, Dot.
Can you hear me?
I'm sorry.
You can taIk?
You can hear?
You're a psycho, you know that?
-AII those things I said to you were private. -I know that.
You sat there and you Iistened to me taIk about my dick.
You sat there and you Iistened to me taIk about how many times I beat off.
-Connor, pIease. -What?
You don't Iike to hear it any more, Dot?
It's not as much fun when you have to come up with an answer, is it, Dot?
-PIease. -No.
Fuck you.
Nina. Come on, we gotta go.
-Where are we going? -FoIIow me.
Here.
I think that's deep enough.
I never got to bury my father.
Your father must have known
that you couId hear.
It was our secret.
Why did you do it?
Because you wouIdn't.
No, I mean,
why did you pretend you were deaf in the first pIace?
I just...
I wanted to be cIoser to him.
And invisibIe to everyone eIse.
-WeII, you can't now. -Why?
Because then we'II both be aIone.
Let's go home.
Mom! Where are they taking you?
Nina, hoId on, I'm going to go away for a IittIe whiIe, okay? I'm not weII.
I did a terribIe, terribIe thing.
I kiIIed your father.
He went crazy. He was throwing things,
and breaking things, and he toId me he hated me.
And I took a piano wire
and I strangIed him with it.
-Okay, time's up. -HoId on one second! Just Iet me finish.
I didn't want him to hurt you. Nina, I never wanted him to hurt you.
I'm sorry, Nina. Can you ever forgive me?
I am so sorry.
People always talk about the quiet before the storm
but no one talks about the quiet after.
At least after the storm
you know it's really over.
When Beethoven died in 1827'
over 10'000 people came to mourn.
From the beginning.
l used to fantasize that when l died there wouldn't be a funeral.
Having led my life invisibly' no one would come to mourn.
But being invisible isn't worth it in the end.
Because when you're invisible' other people may not see you
but you can't help seeing other people.