-=Dajusha 根据英文字幕翻译=-
坐在我脸上 告诉我你爱我 ♪ Sit on my face and tell me that you love me ♪
我也坐在你脸上 告诉你我爱你 ♪ I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you too ♪
我也坐在你脸上 告诉你我爱你
我要听你亲口说 ♪ I love to hear you oralize ♪
当被你大腿夹住 ♪ When I'm between your thighs ♪
你征服了我 ♪ You blow me away ♪
坐在我脸上 让我双唇含住你 ♪ Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you ♪
我也坐在你脸上 我才会真正爱你 ♪ I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly ♪
我们69时候生活多美好 ♪ Life can be fine if we both 69 ♪
我们的屁股对着彼此的脸 亲密无间玩到底 ♪ If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play ♪
直到互相征服 ♪ Till we're blown away ♪
大家好晚上好 Hello, good evening and welcome
欢迎来到罗纳德里根纪念剧场 to the Ronald Reagan Memorial Bowl,
这里是美丽的 洛杉矶的好莱坞郊区. here in the pretty little L.A. suburb of Hollywood,
好 我们今晚将要给您带来一场摔跤 where we're about to witness all in wrestling,
brought to you tonight, ladies and gentlemen,
女士们先生们, 由败类产生, brought to you tonight, ladies and gentlemen,
女士们先生们, 由败类产生,
by the makers of Scum,
世界的第一次合体 the world's first ever combined hair oil,
发油 脚膏 还有沙拉调料 foot ointment, and salad dressing.
太阳神创造 新式核导弹! And the makers of Titan, the novelty nuclear missile!
它爆炸你都不知道! You never know when it'll go off!
使朋友惊讶, 使敌人狂笑, Surprise your friends, amuse your enemies,
一声巨响开始了狂欢! start the party with a bang!
开始介绍 女士们先生们 今晚
Introducing, ladies and gentlemen, tonight,
自欧佩克国家远道而来 泥浆摔跤巡回表演... all the way from a mud-wrestling tour
自欧佩克国家远道而来 泥浆摔跤巡回表演...
of the OPEC countries,
在红色这一角: 科林 "轰炸机" 哈里斯!... in the red corner: Colin "Bomber" Harris!
还有, 女士们先生们, 在蓝色这一角... and, ladies and gentlemen, in the blue corner,
自欧佩克国家远道而来 泥浆摔跤巡回表演...
all the way from a mud-wrestling tour
自欧佩克国家远道而来 泥浆摔跤巡回表演...
of the OPEC countries, Colin "Bomber" Harris!
科林 "轰炸机" 哈里斯! of the OPEC countries, Colin "Bomber" Harris!
好, 现在, 女士们先生们, 这是首次 Well, now, ladies and gentlemen, this is the first time
科林 "轰炸机" 哈里斯 与自己作战. that Colin "Bomber" Harris has met himself.
现在放松, 我们退出场外, A few formalities now, any moment now,
准备观赏 第一局的开始. we'll be ready for the start of Round One.
钟声响了! There goes the bell!
科林移到场地中间 Colin moves to the middle of the ring there,
他在寻找破绽, 马上握住了... he's looking for an opening, going for the handhold.
他做到了! He's got it! Into the head-squeeze.
变为头部挤压... He's got it! Into the head-squeeze.
正在头部挤压... He's got it! Into the head-squeeze.
正在头部挤压...
A head-squeeze there.
一个习惯... ...科林的一个习惯动作... A favorite move of Colin's at this opening stage.
...跳到那里...
Flying there,
...科林正在... 对他自己的左膝弱点下手! Flying there,
...科林正在... 对他自己的左膝弱点下手!
and already Colin is working on that weak left knee of his!
是半扼颈... 半扼颈加上Philadelphia Hamilton(咬脚?) A half nelson.
是半扼颈... 半扼颈加上Philadelphia Hamilton(咬脚?)
A half nelson and a Philadelphia Half-Lotus,
科林故意对自己犯规, and Colin bit himself on purpose there,
裁判给了他一个公开警告, and he has been given a public warning by the referee,
科林非常不爽! and Colin did not like that one little bit!
双过头顶挖鼻... Forearm. Double overhead nostril.
...后踢并且, 啊, 波士顿龙虾(是有点像), Back-kick, and into the Boston crayfish--
不对, 是小龙虾, 要不就是海螯虾, 不, 就是海螯虾!
no, it's a crawfish, or is it a langoustine?
不对, 是小龙虾, 要不就是海螯虾, 不, 就是海螯虾!
No, it's a langoustine! A lovely move there!
漂亮的动作! No, it's a langoustine! A lovely move there!
他出人意料的擒住自己 He's caught himself by surprise and that is it,
这是第一次把科林 "轰炸机" 哈里斯放倒! He's caught himself by surprise and that is it,
这是第一次把科林 "轰炸机" 哈里斯放倒!
the first fall to Colin "Bomber" Harris!
强力! 漂亮的动作! Swell! A lovely move there!
科林一定对自己很满意!
And Colin must be pretty pleased with himself
他要受得了这一下!
having caught himself out with that one!
一个前臂劈掌 一个草莓摔 And a forearm chop. A strawberry whip,
香草摔 巧克力摔... a vanilla whip, a chocolate whip...
来了 科林最有名的擒抱:
There it is, Colin's most famous hold:
the one-leg-over-shoulder Gerry Ford,
福特总统式单腿过右肩 科林这下麻烦大了! the one-leg-over-shoulder Gerry Ford,
福特总统式单腿过右肩 科林这下麻烦大了!
and Colin's in real trouble!
福特总统式单腿过右肩 科林这下麻烦大了!
他坚持到了绳边... 来了运气... He's just made it to the rope,
他坚持到了绳边... 来了运气...
just a little lucky there, I feel.
...就是这个, 双颈锁 应该可以解脱... There it is, a double Eydie Gorme,
...就是这个, 双颈锁 应该可以解脱...
should be able to twist out of this,
and he does, but he's looking pretty groggy.
他也做到了... 但是看起来他摇摇晃晃... and he does, but he's looking pretty groggy.
我看他捉住了自己
And I think he's caught himself there
用两记前臂粉碎击 就是这样！ with two forearm smashes, and that is it!
科林 "轰炸机" 哈里斯击溃了自己！ Colin "Bomber" Harris has knocked himself out
成为了胜方 and so he is the winner
and he goes on next week to meet himself in the final!
下周他还要在决赛中与自己作战! and he goes on next week to meet himself in the final!
不要惹阿拉伯人 ♪ Never be rude to an Arab ♪
以色列人或者沙特人或者犹太人 ♪ An Israeli or Saudi or Jew ♪
不要惹爱尔兰人 ♪ Never be rude to an Irishman ♪
无论你做什么 ♪ No matter what you do ♪
可别拿黑鬼逗乐 ♪ Never poke fun at a nigger ♪
还有老墨老意和老德 ♪ A Spic or a Wop or a Kraut ♪
也不要取笑... ♪ And never poke-- ♪
米开朗基罗来觐见, 教皇陛下.
Michelangelo to see you, your Holiness.
谁? Who?
米开朗基罗, 有名的文艺复兴艺术家 Michelangelo, the famous renaissance artist
他的名作包括 whose best known works include
西斯廷教堂的天花板和大卫像
the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel,
西斯廷教堂的天花板和大卫像
and the celebrated statue of David.
很好
Very well.
1514年他回到佛罗伦萨... In 1514, he returned to Florence and--
All right, that's enough, that's enough,
可以了 够了够了 All right, that's enough, that's enough,
他们都懂了 they've got it now!
晚安, 教皇陛下. -Good evening, your Holiness. -Evening, Michelangelo.
晚安, 米开朗基罗. 关于你那画
I want to have a word with you about this painting of yours,
"最后的晚餐" 我们得谈一谈
"The Last Supper."
-Oh, yeah? -I'm not happy about it.
哦, 啥? -Oh, yeah? -I'm not happy about it.
我很不爽. -Oh, yeah? -I'm not happy about it.
我很不爽.
Oh, dear. It took me hours.
哦,亲爱的. 我花了好久才完成. Oh, dear. It took me hours.
哦,亲爱的. 我花了好久才完成.
Not happy at all.
完全不爽. Not happy at all.
Is it the Jell-O you don't like?
你不喜欢的是果冻? Is it the Jell-O you don't like?
不对.
No.
啊, 不对, 我知道了, 颜色有点浓了, 对吧?
Now they do add a bit of color, don't they?
啊, 不对, 我知道了, 颜色有点浓了, 对吧?
Oh, I know, you don't like the kangaroo?
哦, 我知道, 你不喜欢有袋鼠? Oh, I know, you don't like the kangaroo?
什么袋鼠? Oh, I know, you don't like the kangaroo?
什么袋鼠?
-What kangaroo? -No problem, I'll paint him out.
没问题, 我会把它抹掉. -What kangaroo? -No problem, I'll paint him out.
I never saw a kangaroo!
我可没看见袋鼠! I never saw a kangaroo!
嗯...它就在后面. 我会抹掉的! I never saw a kangaroo!
嗯...它就在后面. 我会抹掉的!
He's right in the back. I'll paint him out!
嗯...它就在后面. 我会抹掉的!
No sweat, I'll make him into a disciple.
无所谓, 我来把它画成门徒. No sweat, I'll make him into a disciple.
啊. No sweat, I'll make him into a disciple.
啊.
可以了?
那个就是问题.
哪个?
-All right? -That's the problem.
门徒们. -All right? -That's the problem.
-What is? -The disciples.
他们太像犹太人了? 我把犹大画的最像犹太人. -What is? -The disciples.
他们太像犹太人了? 我把犹大画的最像犹太人.
Are they too Jewish?
他们太像犹太人了? 我把犹大画的最像犹太人.
不是, 问题是有二十八个门徒.
I made Judas the most Jewish.
No, it's just that there are 28 of them.
哦, 好, 再加一个也没啥区别, No, it's just that there are 28 of them.
我把袋鼠改成另外一个. No, it's just that there are 28 of them.
我把袋鼠改成另外一个.
Oh, well, another one will never matter,
不, 那个不是要点. Oh, well, another one will never matter,
可以了. 我放弃袋鼠. 说实话,我也觉得它画的不是太好. Oh, well, another one will never matter,
可以了. 我放弃袋鼠. 说实话,我也觉得它画的不是太好.
I'll make the kangaroo into another one.
可以了. 我放弃袋鼠. 说实话,我也觉得它画的不是太好.
No, that's not the point.
那不是要点. 有二十八个门徒啊! No, that's not the point.
那不是要点. 有二十八个门徒啊!
All right. Well, I'll lose the kangaroo.
那不是要点. 有二十八个门徒啊!
Be honest, I wasn't perfectly happy with it.
太多了? Be honest, I wasn't perfectly happy with it.
太多了?
That's not the point. There are 28 disciples!
对, 当然太多了! That's not the point. There are 28 disciples!
是啊, 我知道, 不过我想给最后的晚餐一个有力的印象. That's not the point. There are 28 disciples!
是啊, 我知道, 不过我想给最后的晚餐一个有力的印象.
-Too many? -Well, of course it's too many!
你看, 不只是旧式的最后晚餐. 不要像最后一顿饭或者是终点快餐. -Too many? -Well, of course it's too many!
你看, 不只是旧式的最后晚餐. 不要像最后一顿饭或者是终点快餐.
Yeah, I know that,
你看, 不只是旧式的最后晚餐. 不要像最后一顿饭或者是终点快餐.
but I wanted to give the impression
你看, 不只是旧式的最后晚餐. 不要像最后一顿饭或者是终点快餐.
of a real last supper, you know? Not just any old last supper.
不过你看, 我要给人的印象是 of a real last supper, you know? Not just any old last supper.
一次真正猛的盛宴, 你懂了? of a real last supper, you know? Not just any old last supper.
一次真正猛的盛宴, 你懂了?
Not like a last meal or a final snack.
最后的晚餐只有十二个门徒. Not like a last meal or a final snack.
最后的晚餐只有十二个门徒.
But, you know, I wanted to give the impression
最后的晚餐只有十二个门徒.
of a real mother of a blow-out, you know?
好, 大概有些人之后才来... of a real mother of a blow-out, you know?
一共就只有十二个门徒. of a real mother of a blow-out, you know?
一共就只有十二个门徒.
There were only 12 disciples at the last supper.
好, 大概他们的朋友也来了, 你看? There were only 12 disciples at the last supper.
听着! 最后的晚餐只有基督和十二门徒. There were only 12 disciples at the last supper.
听着! 最后的晚餐只有基督和十二门徒.
Well, maybe some of the other ones came along after--
听着! 最后的晚餐只有基督和十二门徒.
There were only 12 altogether.
圣经明明白白说的. There were only 12 altogether.
圣经明明白白说的.
Well, maybe some of their friends came by, you know?
- 没有朋友? - 没有朋友. Well, maybe some of their friends came by, you know?
- 没有朋友? - 没有朋友.
Look! There were just 12 disciples
- 侍者? - 没有 Look! There were just 12 disciples
- 侍者? - 没有
and our Lord at the last supper. The Bible clearly says so.
- 歌舞表演? - 没有! and our Lord at the last supper. The Bible clearly says so.
-No friends? -No friends.
你看, 我喜欢他们, 他们可以充实场景, -No friends? -No friends.
我可以先删除几个, 你看我还能...
-Waiters? -No.
听着! 只有十二门徒... -Waiters? -No.
听着! 只有十二门徒...
-Cabaret? -No!
我想到了! 我想到了! 就叫它"倒数第二晚餐"! -Cabaret? -No!
我想到了! 我想到了! 就叫它"倒数第二晚餐"!
You see, I like them, they help to flesh out the scene,
我想到了! 我想到了! 就叫它"倒数第二晚餐"!
-I could lose a few-- -Look!
我想到了! 我想到了! 就叫它"倒数第二晚餐"!
There were only 12 disciples--
什么? There were only 12 disciples--
肯定有那么一个,
I've got it! I've got it!
如果有最后的晚餐, 那在它之前就有一个, I've got it! I've got it!
如果有最后的晚餐, 那在它之前就有一个,
We'll call it "The Last But One Supper"!
就是这样, 是"倒第二晚餐"! We'll call it "The Last But One Supper"!
What?
圣经又没说过 有多少人参加了, 对吧? What?
圣经又没说过 有多少人参加了, 对吧?
Well there must have been one, if there was a last one,
是没有, 不过... Well there must have been one, if there was a last one,
there must have been a one before that, so this...
这就对了, 就这样! there must have been a one before that, so this...
听着! 最后的晚餐 是基督一生中的标志性事件, there must have been a one before that, so this...
听着! 最后的晚餐 是基督一生中的标志性事件,
is the "Penultimate Supper"!
听着! 最后的晚餐 是基督一生中的标志性事件,
The Bible doesn't say
倒第二晚餐则不是! The Bible doesn't say
倒第二晚餐则不是!
how many people were there, now, does it?
就算有魔术师和墨西哥街头乐队也不行. how many people were there, now, does it?
就算有魔术师和墨西哥街头乐队也不行.
-No-- -Well there you are, then!
现在, 我让你画的最后晚餐, 也就是我想要的最后晚餐! -No-- -Well there you are, then!
现在, 我让你画的最后晚餐, 也就是我想要的最后晚餐!
Look! The last supper is a significant event
现在, 我让你画的最后晚餐, 也就是我想要的最后晚餐!
in the life of our Lord, the penultimate supper was not!
有十二门徒和一个基督! in the life of our Lord, the penultimate supper was not!
有十二门徒和一个基督!
Even if they had a conjurer and a mariachi band.
就一个?! Even if they had a conjurer and a mariachi band.
对就一个! 现在你莫非想要告诉我 Even if they had a conjurer and a mariachi band.
对就一个! 现在你莫非想要告诉我
Now, a last supper I commissioned from you,
对就一个! 现在你莫非想要告诉我
and a last supper I want!
你发了疯的脑袋 and a last supper I want!
你发了疯的脑袋
With 12 disciples and one Christ!
让你在画里画上三个基督? With 12 disciples and one Christ!
让你在画里画上三个基督?
-One?! -Yes, one!
那很好啊,哥们! -One?! -Yes, one!
那很好啊,哥们!
好?
对! 看来不错! 一个胖的平衡两个瘦的.
Now will you please tell me what in God's name possessed you
对! 看来不错! 一个胖的平衡两个瘦的.
to paint this with three Christs in it?
只有一个救世主! to paint this with three Christs in it?
只有一个救世主!
-It works, mate! -Works?
啊, 我知道, 大家都知道, 不过来点个人创意? -It works, mate! -Works?
啊, 我知道, 大家都知道, 不过来点个人创意?
Yeah! It looks great!
我只需要一个弥赛亚! Yeah! It looks great!
我只需要一个弥赛亚!
The fat one balances the two skinny ones.
我来告诉你你要的是什么,哥们! The fat one balances the two skinny ones.
我来告诉你你要的是什么,哥们!
你就想要个摄影师! 那才是你要的.
There was only one Redeemer!
而不是一个创造性的艺术家来让你高兴... There was only one Redeemer!
而不是一个创造性的艺术家来让你高兴...
I know that, we all know that,
而不是一个创造性的艺术家来让你高兴...
what about a bit of artistic license?
我告诉你我要什么! 我要一个 what about a bit of artistic license?
有一个基督, 十二个门徒, what about a bit of artistic license?
有一个基督, 十二个门徒,
Well one Messiah is what I want!
不要袋鼠, 不要杂耍表演, Well one Messiah is what I want!
不要袋鼠, 不要杂耍表演,
I'll tell you what you want, mate!
不要袋鼠, 不要杂耍表演,
You want a bloody photographer! That's what you want.
或者周四午餐那样的最后晚餐, 不然你就拿不到钱! You want a bloody photographer! That's what you want.
或者周四午餐那样的最后晚餐, 不然你就拿不到钱!
-Not a bloody creative artist-- -I'll tell you what I want!
你个法西斯! -Not a bloody creative artist-- -I'll tell you what I want!
你个法西斯!
I want a last supper with one Christ, 12 disciples,
听着! 我才是教皇, 是我! I want a last supper with one Christ, 12 disciples,
我大概不懂多少艺术, 但是我知道我要什么! I want a last supper with one Christ, 12 disciples,
我大概不懂多少艺术, 但是我知道我要什么!
no kangaroos, no trampoline acts,
我大概不懂多少艺术, 但是我知道我要什么!
by Thursday lunch, or you don't get paid!
不要羞辱波兰客... by Thursday lunch, or you don't get paid!
不要羞辱波兰客...
Bloody fascist!
不要羞辱波兰客...
Look! I'm the bloody pope, I am!
May not know much about art, but I know what I like!
Never be rude to a Pollack--
大家好, 欢迎来到慕尼黑, 这里是第27届蠢货奥运会, Never be rude to a Pollack--
大家好, 欢迎来到慕尼黑, 这里是第27届蠢货奥运会,
这每3.7年举行一次,
今年的运动员
来自四百万个不同地区.
现在马上开始今天下午的第一个项目:
Hello, and welcome to Munich, for the 27th Silly Olympiad,
百米第二半决赛 Hello, and welcome to Munich, for the 27th Silly Olympiad,
an event held traditionally every 3.7 years,
参赛者均为路痴. an event held traditionally every 3.7 years,
啊, 我来介绍参赛者: an event held traditionally every 3.7 years,
which this year competitors
第一道: 波兰的Kolomovski; which this year competitors
第二道: 法国的Zatapatique; which this year competitors
第二道: 法国的Zatapatique;
from over four million different countries.
第三道: 美国的Gropovich, from over four million different countries.
第三道: 美国的Gropovich,
And here we are
下一个: 特立尼达的Drabble, And here we are
下一个: 西班牙的Fernandez, And here we are
下一个: 西班牙的Fernandez,
at the start of the first event of the afternoon:
the second semifinal of the 100 yards
最外圈: 巴西的Bormann! the second semifinal of the 100 yards
最外圈: 巴西的Bormann!
for people with no sense of direction.
预备开始! for people with no sense of direction.
预备开始!
I'll just give you the competitors:
Lane one, Skolomovski of of France,
好, 挺有趣的, 是不是? Lane one, Skolomovski of of France,
好, 挺有趣的, 是不是?
lane three, Gropovich of the United States.
现在, 切换到体育场另一端. lane three, Gropovich of the United States.
现在, 切换到体育场另一端.
Next to him, Drabble of Trinidad.
他们正在等待 聋子1500米长跑开始. Next to him, Drabble of Trinidad.
他们正在等待 聋子1500米长跑开始.
Next to him, Fernandez of Spain,
他们正在等待 聋子1500米长跑开始.
and in the outside lane, Bormann of Brazil.
发令员准备开枪. and in the outside lane, Bormann of Brazil.
发令员准备开枪.
Set!
好, 等到有动作时候我们再回来.
Well, that was fun, wasn't it?
现在切到游泳馆. Well, that was fun, wasn't it?
And now, over to the other end of the stadium.
和我一起来看 And now, over to the other end of the stadium.
在Bundesabsurd泳池 正好赶上 And now, over to the other end of the stadium.
在Bundesabsurd泳池 正好赶上
And here we're just waiting for the start of the 1500 meters
旱鸭子200米自由泳的开始. And here we're just waiting for the start of the 1500 meters
旱鸭子200米自由泳的开始.
for the deaf.
注意澳大利亚冠军 for the deaf.
注意澳大利亚冠军
And they're under starter's orders.
Ron Barnett在第二道. And they're under starter's orders.
Ron Barnett在第二道.
Well, we'll be coming back the moment there's any action.
And now over to the swimming.
And you join us here at the Bundesabsurd pool
just in time to see the start of the 200 meters freestyle
for non-swimmers.
好, 他们开始打捞尸体的时候 for non-swimmers.
好, 他们开始打捞尸体的时候
Watch for the tough Australian champion, Ron Barnett,
我们再回到现场. Watch for the tough Australian champion, Ron Barnett,
in the second lane.
现在转到Hansklein in the second lane.
易失禁者马拉松即将开始. in the second lane.
易失禁者马拉松即将开始.
好, 我们来说明这项目
来自29个不同国家的44名参赛者,
他们所有人的膀胱都非常脆弱.
崩溃在望. 然而,准备开始,
Well, we'll be bringing you back here
崩溃在望. 然而,准备开始,
the moment they start fishing the corpses out.
世界上最长的比赛 他们要忍痛前进! the moment they start fishing the corpses out.
世界上最长的比赛 他们要忍痛前进!
But now over to Hans Clegg for the start of the marathon
世界上最长的比赛 他们要忍痛前进!
for incontinents.
Well, we've got an enormous entry for this event.
各就各位! 预备开始! Well, we've got an enormous entry for this event.
各就各位! 预备开始!
Forty-four competitors from 29 different countries,
他们出发了! 他们出发了! 哎呀... Forty-four competitors from 29 different countries,
他们出发了! 他们出发了! 哎呀...
all of them with the most superbly weak bladders.
Not a tight sphincter in sight.
好, 回到1500米现场 Not a tight sphincter in sight.
发令员在进行一系列华丽表演! Not a tight sphincter in sight.
发令员在进行一系列华丽表演!
Ready to embark, nevertheless, on the world's longest race,
我们见到他随意到处开火, 狂乱的发射. Ready to embark, nevertheless, on the world's longest race,
我们见到他随意到处开火, 狂乱的发射.
and they're just aching to go!
我们见到他随意到处开火, 狂乱的发射.
On your marks! Get set!
足够让你大惊失色! On your marks! Get set!
足够让你大惊失色!
And they're off! They're off!
现在是跳高!
苏联的Katerina Ovelenskij!
Well, back at the 1500 meters
这样一跳! 这跳得! Well, back at the 1500 meters
这样一跳! 这跳得!
and the starter is putting up a magnificent show!
肯定破纪录! and the starter is putting up a magnificent show!
肯定破纪录!
We've had volleys, rapid bursts, scattered random fire,
这里是3000米跨栏 We've had volleys, rapid bursts, scattered random fire,
这里是3000米跨栏
fusillades firing,
由认为自己是鸡的人参加! fusillades firing,
由认为自己是鸡的人参加!
well, and still he can't get the buggers moving.
美国的Samuelsson, well, and still he can't get the buggers moving.
美国的Samuelsson,
It's enough to make you chew your own foot off!
那是东德的Klaus! It's enough to make you chew your own foot off!
那是东德的Klaus!
他已参加了三次奥运会.
And now the high jump!
他已参加了三次奥运会.
Katerina Ovelenski for the Soviet Union.
But what a jump! What a jump! That's got to be a record!
那里是领跑, 加拿大的Abe Seagull But what a jump! What a jump! That's got to be a record!
曾以跨越障碍起步, But what a jump! What a jump! That's got to be a record!
曾以跨越障碍起步,
And here we are at the 3000 meter steeplechase
现在已经疯了. And here we are at the 3000 meter steeplechase
现在我再次回到失禁者马拉松. And here we are at the 3000 meter steeplechase
现在我再次回到失禁者马拉松.
for people who think they're chickens!
现在我再次回到失禁者马拉松.
There's Samuelsson of the United States,
波兰的Polinski领跑, There's Samuelsson of the United States,
波兰的Polinski领跑,
and over there is Klaus of East Germany!
现在澳大利亚的Brewer接替! and over there is Klaus of East Germany!
现在澳大利亚的Brewer接替!
He's been a Rhode Island Red Olympics.
There's the referee trying to get them going,
but he's frightened them.
There's the leader, Abe Seagull of Canada
现在是古巴的Alvarez, 接着是挪威的Borg. There's the leader, Abe Seagull of Canada
现在是古巴的Alvarez, 接着是挪威的Borg.
who went off, got a very good start,
现在是古巴的Alvarez, 接着是挪威的Borg.
then settled down there on the water jump,
and has now gone broody.
Now we're back with the again.
现在是Blankievic, 南斯拉夫的Blankievic Now we're back with the again.
现在是Blankievic, 南斯拉夫的Blankievic
There's Polinski of Poland in the lead,
and now Brewer of Australia is taking over!
好, 好, 这些肯定是有史以来最废的膀胱 and now Brewer of Australia is taking over!
好, 好, 这些肯定是有史以来最废的膀胱
There's Laparche of France.
来代表他们的国家! There's Laparche of France.
来代表他们的国家!
Brewer has overtaken him, but he's going to spend a penny.
现在, 让我们回头来看舞台上正在进行什么! Brewer has overtaken him, but he's going to spend a penny.
现在, 让我们回头来看舞台上正在进行什么!
There goes Brewer to spend a penny.
现在, 让我们回头来看舞台上正在进行什么!
And there goes Konig of Austria.
And so now it's Alvarez of Cuba,
followed by the plucky Norwegian, Bors.
They're in and out like yo-yos, these boys.
And there's MacNaughton. MacNaughton the Scottish lad,
but he can't hold it.
It's Machievic, Machievic of Yugoslavia
has taken over; he can't hold it either.
Well, well, these must be some of the weakest bladders
ever to represent their countries!
And now, let's have a look back stage!
晚上好 女士们和布鲁斯们! Good evening, ladies and Bruces!
-Hello, Bruce. -G'day, Bruce.
- 你好, 布鲁斯. - 你好, 布鲁斯. -Hello, Bruce. -G'day, Bruce.
- 你好, 布鲁斯. -嘿, 布鲁斯.
-How are ya, Bruce? -What's all this lot, Bruce?
这是些什么, 布鲁斯? -How are ya, Bruce? -What's all this lot, Bruce?
It's very nice to be here at the Hollywood Bowl this evening!
今晚能来到好莱坞剧场真是不坏! It's very nice to be here at the Hollywood Bowl this evening!
我们都是哲学教授
We're all philosophy professors
我们都是哲学教授
来自澳大利亚的乌鲁木鲁大学! from the University of Woolamaloo, Australia!
嘿, 澳大利亚, 澳大利亚, 澳大利亚! 上帝爱你! from the University of Woolamaloo, Australia!
嘿, 澳大利亚, 澳大利亚, 澳大利亚! 上帝爱你!
Australia, Australia, Australia! God love ya!
I teach Hegelian philosophy,
我教黑格尔哲学, I teach Hegelian philosophy,
布鲁斯教亚里士多德哲学, I teach Hegelian philosophy,
布鲁斯教亚里士多德哲学,
Bruce here teaches Aristotelian philosophy,
还有布鲁斯专管绵羊消毒液. Bruce here teaches Aristotelian philosophy,
还有布鲁斯专管绵羊消毒液.
and Bruce here is in charge of the sheep dip.
真是辛苦的工作, 我跟你说!
可以了! 现在, 我们这样做的理由, 女士们和布鲁斯们,
Bloody difficult work, I tell ya!
可以了! 现在, 我们这样做的理由, 女士们和布鲁斯们,
I'll tell you what, it's thirsty work
我就说什么才是辛苦的工作 看看这群人. I'll tell you what, it's thirsty work
说实话 我们发现美国啤酒 I'll tell you what, it's thirsty work
说实话 我们发现美国啤酒
watching this kind of humor, Bruce.
说实话 我们发现美国啤酒
Why don't you stick out a few of these little free samples
拿出些免费小样品来丢给他们... Why don't you stick out a few of these little free samples
有点像在独木舟里嘿咻! Why don't you stick out a few of these little free samples
有点像在独木舟里嘿咻!
-from your Esky and leave-- -What, give these...
有点像在独木舟里嘿咻!
Give these Americans our precious cans of--
See how awful they are, grasping and go-getting.
那啥意思? See how awful they are, grasping and go-getting.
那啥意思?
Okay, one over there.
离水太相近了! Okay, one over there.
You can feel morally superior and smug.
Right, there's one coming right over there.
Mind out, Charlies!
现在, 我们要试着 来点小高调 Mind out, Charlies!
现在, 我们要试着 来点小高调
A big one, one big one, there we go!
唱一曲优美智慧的歌 A big one, one big one, there we go!
唱一曲优美智慧的歌
All right! Now, the reason we do this, ladies and Bruces,
对你们观众中的几个人... All right! Now, the reason we do this, ladies and Bruces,
is frankly over here we find your American beer
对! is frankly over here we find your American beer
...谁能会心一笑的. 那么, 来了! is frankly over here we find your American beer
伊曼努尔·康德这家伙 is frankly over here we find your American beer
伊曼努尔·康德这家伙
is a little like making love in a canoe!
伊曼努尔·康德这家伙
那是相当的不稳定
Making love in a canoe?
海德格尔, 海德格尔是个醉乞丐 Making love in a canoe?
海德格尔, 海德格尔是个醉乞丐
It's fucking close to water!
迷迷糊糊算计你 It's fucking close to water!
迷迷糊糊算计你
Piss!
大卫·休谟入不敷出 Piss!
大卫·休谟入不敷出
叔本华和黑格尔
Well now, we're going to try and raise the tone a little here
加上维特根斯坦都是啤酒罐子 Well now, we're going to try and raise the tone a little here
加上维特根斯坦都是啤酒罐子
by singing a nice intellectual song
醉的赶上了施莱格尔 by singing a nice intellectual song
醉的赶上了施莱格尔
for those two or three of you in the audience...
Right!
没有什么仰脖灌酒的事 Right!
没有什么仰脖灌酒的事
...who understand these things. So, here we go!
尼采教不了你 ...who understand these things. So, here we go!
尼采教不了你
♪ Immanuel Kant was a real stable ♪
苏格拉底已经长醉不醒 ♪ Immanuel Kant was a real stable ♪
苏格拉底已经长醉不醒
♪ Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar ♪
♪ Who could drink you under the table ♪
你们喜欢吗? ♪ Who could drink you under the table ♪
我们暂停一下. ♪ Who could drink you under the table ♪
我们暂停一下.
♪ David Hume could out-consume Schopenhauer and Hegel ♪
我发现这有些布鲁斯们 ♪ David Hume could out-consume Schopenhauer and Hegel ♪
今晚有欢乐的心情. ♪ David Hume could out-consume Schopenhauer and Hegel ♪
- 不是么, 布鲁斯? - 对, 布鲁斯. ♪ David Hume could out-consume Schopenhauer and Hegel ♪
- 不是么, 布鲁斯? - 对, 布鲁斯.
♪ And Wittgenstein was a beery swine ♪
还有一些被冷落了. ♪ And Wittgenstein was a beery swine ♪
还有一些被冷落了.
♪ Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel ♪
至少, 我们何不... ♪ Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel ♪
至少, 我们何不...
♪ There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya ♪
我们何不带上这些朋友 ♪ There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya ♪
♪ 'Bout the raising of the wrist ♪
来和我们一起唱? ♪ 'Bout the raising of the wrist ♪
♪ Socrates himself was permanently pissed ♪
行, 我把词放哪里了. ♪ Socrates himself was permanently pissed ♪
对! 预备! ♪ Socrates himself was permanently pissed ♪
伊曼努尔·康德这家伙 ♪ Socrates himself was permanently pissed ♪
伊曼努尔·康德这家伙
Just a...
那是相当的不稳定 Just a...
那是相当的不稳定
How do you like that? All right!
那是相当的不稳定
Let's hold it a second. I can see some of these Bruces
海德格尔, 海德格尔是醉... Let's hold it a second. I can see some of these Bruces
海德格尔, 海德格尔是醉...
are in a bit of a playful mood tonight.
他们是标准好莱坞观众! are in a bit of a playful mood tonight.
他们是标准好莱坞观众!
-Right, Bruce? -Some of them, yeah.
Some of the ones that don't have straws up their nose.
所有小孩都嗑药, Some of the ones that don't have straws up their nose.
所有成人都穿着冰鞋! Some of the ones that don't have straws up their nose.
所有成人都穿着冰鞋!
Anyway, why don't we do something rather fun?
Why don't we get some of these guys to sing along with us, OK?
我们还有没有... 我们还有没有什么更狠的 Why don't we get some of these guys to sing along with us, OK?
And some of the Shielas, too.
能拿出来伺候 And some of the Shielas, too.
这些短视的观众? And some of the Shielas, too.
这些短视的观众?
Tell them the words then, please.
OK, I've got the words somewhere.
Right. Ready!
这个是生物系的布鲁斯. Right. Ready!
这个是生物系的布鲁斯.
Immanuel Kant was a real stable
可以了. 好, 这就开始. Immanuel Kant was a real stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy...
They're a typical Hollywood audience!
All the kids are on drugs,
and all the adults are on roller skates!
Why not?
Very philosophical, Bruce, I like it.
Have we got any... have we got anything bigger
to put the words up for these rather short-sighted people?
This is Bruce from the Biology Department.
All right. Okay, here we go.
伊曼努尔·康德这家伙
那是相当的不稳定 - 继续!
海德格尔, 海德格尔是个醉乞丐
迷迷糊糊推倒你
大卫·休谟入不敷出
叔本华和黑格尔
还有维特根斯坦都是啤酒罐子
醉的赶上了施莱格尔
没有什么仰脖灌酒的事
尼采教不了你
苏格拉底已经长醉不醒
约翰·斯图尔特·密尔的自由意志
灌完半品脱柠檬啤酒之后已经废了
柏拉图说忍得住
每天半箱子威士忌
亚里士多德, 亚里士多德是个老醉汉
霍布斯喜欢他自己的威士忌
勒内·笛卡尔是个醉屁
"我喝, 故我在!"
是的苏格拉底已经彻底醉倒
一个小小思想家
醉过去就变成废物.
早安. 抱歉让你久等,
花了好长时间才到办公室.
这几个月来我走路越来越蠢了,
花了好长时间才到办公室.
现在,嗯, 是怎么个问题?
呃, 先生, 我-我-我患上了愚蠢步伐
我想申请政府救济资助我治好.
我懂了. 好, 请让我看看你的愚蠢步伐?
Good morning. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting,
哦, 对, 肯定是了. Good morning. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting,
but I'm afraid my walk has become rather sillier recently,
so it takes me longer to get to the office.
Now, what was it again?
Well sir, I-I-I-I have got a silly walk
行, 我看到了, 就-就-就是这个, 是吧? Well sir, I-I-I-I have got a silly walk
行, 我看到了, 就-就-就是这个, 是吧?
and I'd like to obtain government backing
啊, 好, 是的, 就这个. and I'd like to obtain government backing
啊, 好, 是的, 就这个.
to help me develop it.
对, 对, 对. 也不是特别蠢, 对吧? to help me develop it.
对, 对, 对. 也不是特别蠢, 对吧?
I see. Well, may I see this silly walk of yours?
是, 啊-啊... I see. Well, may I see this silly walk of yours?
是, 啊-啊...
Yes, certainly.
我是说, 左腿完全都不蠢 Yes, certainly.
我是说, 左腿完全都不蠢
右腿也只不过每四步
才做一个奥布莱恩转体.
没错, 但是我觉得有了联邦补助 我可以变得更蠢.
Stagback先生, 我发现的真正严重的问题是.
你看, 有国防, 教育, 住房,
医疗, 社会安全, 愚蠢步伐.
它们理应是平等的.
不过去年政府在愚蠢步伐上的花销减少了
比工业整顿花钱还少.
我们应该得到每年三亿四千八百万磅
Yes, I see, tha-tha-that's it, is it?
我们应该得到每年三亿四千八百万磅
Well, yes, that's it.
才能覆盖整个愚蠢步伐的预算. Well, yes, that's it.
才能覆盖整个愚蠢步伐的预算.
Yes, yes, yes. It's not particularly silly, is it?
- 咖啡? - 好的, 谢谢. Yes, yes, yes. It's not particularly silly, is it?
I mean, the left leg isn't silly at all and the right leg
merely does a forward aerial O'Brien half turn
every alternate step.
你好, Twolumps太太, 请拿两杯咖啡, 谢谢. every alternate step.
你好, Twolumps太太, 请拿两杯咖啡, 谢谢.
Yes, but I feel with a federal grant,
你好, Twolumps太太, 请拿两杯咖啡, 谢谢.
I could make it a lot more silly.
好的, Teabag先生.
Mr. Stagback, the very real problem is one of finance.
疯疯癫癫. Mr. Stagback, the very real problem is one of finance.
You see, there's defense, education, housing, health,
你看, 以色列有个人 You see, there's defense, education, housing, health,
他摘除了自己的左腿 每一步都忍着, You see, there's defense, education, housing, health,
他摘除了自己的左腿 每一步都忍着,
social security, silly walks.
他摘除了自己的左腿 每一步都忍着,
They're all supposed to get the same.
然而日本, 精巧的电子小设备... They're all supposed to get the same.
然而日本, 精巧的电子小设备...
But last year, the government spent less on Silly Walks
然而日本, 精巧的电子小设备...
than they did on industrial reorganization.
We're supposed to get 348 million pounds a year
好的, 谢谢, Twolumps太太. We're supposed to get 348 million pounds a year
to cover our entire Silly Walks program.
你...你对愚蠢步伐很感兴趣, 是不是? to cover our entire Silly Walks program.
你...你对愚蠢步伐很感兴趣, 是不是?
-Coffee? -Yes, please.
你...你对愚蠢步伐很感兴趣, 是不是?
看那边!
那里, 好, 看看这个!
Hello, Mrs. Twolumps... Could we have two cups of coffee, please?
Yes, Mr. Teabag.
Mad as a hatter.
You see, the Israelis already have a man
who can take his own left leg off and swallow it
with every alternate step. Whereas the Japanese,
cunning, electronically obsessed little...
Yes, thank you, Mrs. Twolumps.
You're... you're really interested in silly walks,
-aren't you? -Rather!
Right, well, take a look at this!
哦, 最高法院的早晨!
哦, 哦!
哦, 我的小脚都要在
那帮子瞎忙律师身上累坏了.
哦, 可别说了, 亲爱的.
哦,亲爱的, 这也反对, 那也反对.
那个帅哥警察作证真好!
- 哦, 啊. - 多美的声线.
还有那身材!
- 哦, 是啊. - 哦, 是啊. 哦, 啊.
好, 到最后我只好敲了小木槌.
你怎么, 亲爱的?
- 我敲了小木槌! - 哦, 不是吧!
- 我真做了! -哦!
- 我要求"法庭肃静". -哦.
要是能以眼杀人,
那个公诉人起码惨死三十年.
- 哼哼! - 你的总结如何?
Oh, I've had a bitch of a morning in the high court!
Oh, I could stamp my little feet,
呃, 好, 我还用了喉音呢, 你看, "陪审团必须明白", Oh, I could stamp my little feet,
呃, 好, 我还用了喉音呢, 你看, "陪审团必须明白",
the way those counsellors carry on.
呃, 好, 我还用了喉音呢, 你看, "陪审团必须明白",
Oh, don't I know it, love.
呃, 好, 我还用了喉音呢, 你看, "陪审团必须明白",
Oh, dear, objection here, objection there.
他们还真喜欢! - 啊. Oh, dear, objection here, objection there.
And that nice policeman giving his evidence so well!
我发现那个卷毛的陪审团长对我送秋波! And that nice policeman giving his evidence so well!
- 真的? - 哦, 是啊. 骗人是小狗.
Beautiful speaking voice.
And what a body!
是这么总结的, 我严肃的说: And what a body!
是这么总结的, 我严肃的说:
Well, after a bit all I could do was bang me gavel.
"这些恶人的行径是对公众的暴力侵害 Well, after a bit all I could do was bang me gavel.
"这些恶人的行径是对公众的暴力侵害
-You what, love? -I banged me gavel!
这样的刑罚不能抵消 -You what, love? -I banged me gavel!
这样的刑罚不能抵消
-Oh, get away! -I did!
他们可怕的罪行!" - 哦, 是吗?
I did my "silence in court" bit.
然后我摇动假发! 呼哈! I did my "silence in court" bit.
If looks could have killed,
- 你摇动什么? - 我摇动假发! If looks could have killed,
- 你摇动什么? - 我摇动假发!
that prosecuting counsel would have been in for 30 years.
真的? that prosecuting counsel would have been in for 30 years.
-啊, 我只摇动了这个! -哦... that prosecuting counsel would have been in for 30 years.
- 特别轻微, 特别有效. -哦! that prosecuting counsel would have been in for 30 years.
- 特别轻微, 特别有效. -哦!
How did your summing-up go?
至少, 我判了他三年. 不过花了十分钟. How did your summing-up go?
至少, 我判了他三年. 不过花了十分钟.
Actually...
至少, 我判了他三年. 不过花了十分钟.
哦...好, 就像我有一天跟Melvin Belly(美国律师)说的, 你看:
"你可以把它放在你律师的手里,
I did my butch voice, you know,
但是它在法庭上从来站不住!" I did my butch voice, you know,
但是它在法庭上从来站不住!"
"what the jury must understand", and they loved it!
I could see that little curly-headed foreman of the jury
-eyeing me! -Really?
Oh, yeah. Cheeky devil!
I finished up with-- I got really strict:
"The actions of these vicious men
are a violent stain upon the community,
and the full penalty of the law
is scarcely sufficient to deal with their ghastly crimes!"
And I waggled me wig!
-You waggled you what? -I waggled me wig!
Really?
That was the only thing I waggled.
Ever so slightly, stunning effect.
Anyway, I gave him three years. He only took ten minutes.
Well, as I said to Melvin Belly the other day, you know:
"You can put it in the hand of your attorneys,
but it'll never stand up in court!"
Oh, I know what you mean.
晚安.
今晚在世界论坛 我们很荣幸的
请到了卡尔 马克思, 现代社会主义的奠基人
共产党宣言的作者,
弗拉基米尔·伊里奇·乌里扬诺夫,
在世界以列宁闻名,
俄国革命领袖,
作家, 政治家, 也是现代社会主义之父,
切格瓦拉, 玻利维亚游击队领袖,
还有耄,
1949年以来的中共主席.
第一个问题由你回答,卡尔马克思.
"锤子."
"锤子" 是哪支英国球队的昵称?
Good evening. Tonight on World Forum
we are deeply privileged to have with us Karl Marx,
"锤子." 不知道? 好, 糟糕啊,卡尔. we are deeply privileged to have with us Karl Marx,
事实上, 是, 西汉姆联.
the founder of modern socialism
事实上, 是, 西汉姆联.
and author of the Communist Manifesto;
现在, 切格瓦拉. 切... and author of the Communist Manifesto;
现在, 切格瓦拉. 切...
Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov,
考文垂上次赢得英国足总杯是哪一年? Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov,
考文垂上次赢得英国足总杯是哪一年?
better known to the world as Lenin,
考文垂上次赢得英国足总杯是哪一年?
leader of the Russian Revolution,
writer, statesman, and father of modern socialism;
Che Guevara, the Bolivian guerilla leader;
不知道? 我不再问了. 还有谁? Che Guevara, the Bolivian guerilla leader;
考文垂上次赢得英国足总杯是哪一年?
and Mao Tse-tung,
考文垂上次赢得英国足总杯是哪一年?
chairman of the Chinese Communist Party since 1949.
没关系, 你们答不上来也正常. chairman of the Chinese Communist Party since 1949.
其实是忽悠你们的. chairman of the Chinese Communist Party since 1949.
其实是忽悠你们的.
考文垂从来没有赢得英国足总杯.
And the first question is for you, Karl Marx.
"The Hammers."
那么现在带着上局比分, 进入第二轮, "The Hammers."
那么现在带着上局比分, 进入第二轮,
"The Hammers" is the nickname of what English football team?
列宁, 你从10元开始. "The Hammers" is the nickname of what English football team?
列宁, 你从10元开始.
Jerry Lee Lewis在美国
获得超过十七张纯金唱片.
"The Hammers."
最大的那张名字是什么? "The Hammers."
最大的那张名字是什么?
No? Well, bad luck, Karl. It is, in fact, West Ham United.
Now, Che Guevara. Che.
Jerry Lee Lewis的最NB唱片? 不知道? Now, Che Guevara. Che.
Jerry Lee Lewis的最NB唱片? 不知道?
Coventry City
last won the English Football Cup in what year?
嗯, 耄? last won the English Football Cup in what year?
"Great Balls of Fire?" last won the English Football Cup in what year?
"Great Balls of Fire?"
对了, 丝毫不差!
No? I can throw the question open.
Anybody else?
很好的挑战. Anybody else?
很好的挑战.
Coventry City last won the English Football Cup
好, 现在我们继续第三轮. Coventry City last won the English Football Cup
好, 现在我们继续第三轮.
in what year?
今晚竞争者是卡尔马克思 in what year?
今晚竞争者是卡尔马克思
No, well, I'm not surprised you didn't get that.
我们的特别奖品 这套漂亮的沙发! No, well, I'm not surprised you didn't get that.
我们的特别奖品 这套漂亮的沙发!
It is in fact a trick question.
我们的特别奖品 这套漂亮的沙发!
Coventry City have never won the English Football Cup.
呃,卡尔被选择回答问题
So now with the scores all even, it's on to Round two,
在工人控制工厂的前提, So now with the scores all even, it's on to Round two,
那么现在开始第一个问题. So now with the scores all even, it's on to Round two,
那么现在开始第一个问题.
and Lenin, your starter for ten dollars...
你, 紧张么,卡尔? 有一点. and Lenin, your starter for ten dollars...
你, 紧张么,卡尔? 有一点.
好, 别在意, 试试看!
Jerry Lee Lewis
工业无产阶级的发展 Jerry Lee Lewis
工业无产阶级的发展
has had over 17 major solid gold hits in the U.S. of A.
受到其他什么发展的影响? has had over 17 major solid gold hits in the U.S. of A.
受到其他什么发展的影响?
What's the name of the biggest?
工业资产阶级的发展. What's the name of the biggest?
工业资产阶级的发展.
好呀! 对, 一点没错! 干得好,卡尔!
Jerry Lee Lewis' solid gold biggie?
你向着沙发迈出第一步了! Jerry Lee Lewis' solid gold biggie?
现在卡尔, 问题二.
No?
阶级与阶级的斗争 No?
阶级与阶级的斗争
-Yes, Mao Tse-tung? -"Great Balls of Fire"?
是什么斗争? -Yes, Mao Tse-tung? -"Great Balls of Fire"?
是什么斗争?
Yes, it was indeed!
政治斗争. Yes, it was indeed!
政治斗争.
好! 对了, 丝毫不差. 干得好,卡尔!
Very well challenged.
最后一个问题, 那套美丽的 Very well challenged.
最后一个问题, 那套美丽的
Well, now we come on to our third round.
非物质沙发就是你的了! Well, now we come on to our third round.
非物质沙发就是你的了!
Our contestant tonight is Karl Marx
and our special prize is this beautiful lounge suite!
准备好,卡尔? 你是纯爷们. and our special prize is this beautiful lounge suite!
你最后的问题: and our special prize is this beautiful lounge suite!
1949年谁赢得了英国足总杯? and our special prize is this beautiful lounge suite!
1949年谁赢得了英国足总杯?
Karl has elected to answer questions
呃呃, 工人控制的生产资料? Karl has elected to answer questions
呃呃, 工人控制的生产资料?
on workers' control of factories,
so here we go with question number one. You, nervous, Karl?
城-城市无产者的斗争? so here we go with question number one. You, nervous, Karl?
呃, 不对, 是沃尔夫汉普顿漫游者队 so here we go with question number one. You, nervous, Karl?
3-1击败了莱切斯特. so here we go with question number one. You, nervous, Karl?
3-1击败了莱切斯特.
Just a little.
3-1击败了莱切斯特.
Well never mind, Karl, have a go!
哦, 日! Well never mind, Karl, have a go!
The development of the industrial proletariat
滚蛋吧! The development of the industrial proletariat
is conditioned by what other development?
好, 没有人空着手离开节目, is conditioned by what other development?
好, 没有人空着手离开节目,
The development of the industrial bourgeoisie.
所以我们要砍手了. The development of the industrial bourgeoisie.
Good! Yes, it is indeed! Well done, Karl!
好, 现在是选秀时间, 女士们先生们, Good! Yes, it is indeed! Well done, Karl!
好, 现在是选秀时间, 女士们先生们,
You're on your way to a lounge suite!
在我们下一个候选者中 You're on your way to a lounge suite!
在我们下一个候选者中
Now Karl, number two.
你们能否发现新的天才? Now Karl, number two.
The struggle of class against class is a what struggle?
请给予掌声欢迎 The struggle of class against class is a what struggle?
Carl Weetabix和Rita! The struggle of class against class is a what struggle?
Carl Weetabix和Rita!
-A political struggle. -Good! Yes, it is indeed.
Well done, Karl! One final question,
and that beautiful non-materialistic lounge suite
我就是城市太空人, 宝贝, and that beautiful non-materialistic lounge suite
我有速度, 我要的都有 and that beautiful non-materialistic lounge suite
我有速度, 我要的都有
will be yours!
我有速度, 我要的都有
Ready, Karl? You're a brave man. Your final question:
我就是城市太空人, 宝贝, Ready, Karl? You're a brave man. Your final question:
我就是城市太空人, 宝贝,
Who won the English Football Cup in 1949?
我不会飞, 我是超音速小子 Who won the English Football Cup in 1949?
我不会飞, 我是超音速小子
The workers control the means of production?
我不娱乐, 我不痛苦, The workers control the means of production?
我不娱乐, 我不痛苦,
The struggle of the urban proletariat?
我不娱乐, 我不痛苦,
No, it was Wolverhampton Wanderers
你要是击倒了我, 我马上爬起来 No, it was Wolverhampton Wanderers
你要是击倒了我, 我马上爬起来
who beat Leicester 3-1.
你要是击倒了我, 我马上爬起来
Oh, shit!
我就是城市太空人, 宝贝, Oh, shit!
我就是城市太空人, 宝贝,
我在嘿咻, 我在各处
Get out of here!
我在嘿咻, 我在各处
Well, no one leaves this show empty-handed,
我每天早上起来 脸上带着微笑 Well, no one leaves this show empty-handed,
我每天早上起来 脸上带着微笑
so we're gonna cut off his hands.
我的快乐本性洒满了太空 so we're gonna cut off his hands.
我的快乐本性洒满了太空
Well, now, it's talent-spotting time,
我就是城市太空人, 宝贝, Well, now, it's talent-spotting time,
我就是城市太空人, 宝贝,
ladies and gentlemen,
我聪明又干净, 听我说
and please see if you can spot any talent
我聪明又干净, 听我说
in our next competitors.
Will you please give a very big hand and a warm welcome
我就是城市太空人, Will you please give a very big hand and a warm welcome
我就是城市太空人,
to Carl Weetabix and Rita!
是你最好的爱人, 乐翻天 to Carl Weetabix and Rita!
是你最好的爱人, 乐翻天
我不让朋友们失望,
我来变成小贝蒂
登上高级杂志, 地铁广告
♪ I'm the urban spaceman, baby, I've got speed ♪
我就是城市太空人, 宝贝, ♪ I'm the urban spaceman, baby, I've got speed ♪
我就是城市太空人, 宝贝,
♪ I've got everything I need ♪
来扭一扭吧 ♪ I've got everything I need ♪
我并不存在 ♪ I've got everything I need ♪
我并不存在
♪ I'm the urban spaceman, baby, I can fly ♪
♪ I'm a supersonic guy ♪
♪ I don't need pleasure, I don't feel pain ♪
♪ If you were to knock me down, I'd just get up again ♪
♪ I'm the urban spaceman, baby, I'm making out ♪
♪ I'm all about ♪
♪ I wake up every morning with a smile upon my face ♪
♪ My natural exuberance spills out all over the place ♪
♪ I'm the urban spaceman, I'm intelligent and clean ♪
- Hilton先生? -啊, 是. ♪ I'm the urban spaceman, I'm intelligent and clean ♪
你就是超优巧克力公司的 ♪ I'm the urban spaceman, I'm intelligent and clean ♪
你就是超优巧克力公司的
♪ Know what I mean? ♪
独资企业家兼所有人? - 我是. ♪ Know what I mean? ♪
♪ I'm the urban spaceman, as a lover, second to none ♪
Constable Parrot和我是卫生分队的... ♪ I'm the urban spaceman, as a lover, second to none ♪
Constable Parrot和我是卫生分队的...
♪ It's a lot of fun ♪
- 哦, 好啊. - ...我们来和你谈谈 ♪ It's a lot of fun ♪
- 哦, 好啊. - ...我们来和你谈谈
♪ I never let my friends down, I could have made a boob ♪
你巧克力产品盒子的的标示 "超优品质混合." ♪ I never let my friends down, I could have made a boob ♪
你巧克力产品盒子的的标示 "超优品质混合."
♪ I'm a glossy magazine, an advert on the tube ♪
啊, 很好, 没错. ♪ I'm a glossy magazine, an advert on the tube ♪
我从头说起. 首先, 这是草莓干酪. ♪ I'm a glossy magazine, an advert on the tube ♪
我从头说起. 首先, 这是草莓干酪.
♪ I'm the urban spaceman, baby, here comes the twist ♪
这个现在彻底臭了, 但是我们不能因此起诉你! ♪ I'm the urban spaceman, baby, here comes the twist ♪
这个现在彻底臭了, 但是我们不能因此起诉你!
♪ I don't exist ♪
这个现在彻底臭了, 但是我们不能因此起诉你!
同意.
接下来你看四号, "脆蛙."
啊, 对.
这里面有个真青蛙我说得对不对?
是啊, 一个小的.
- 烹调过? - 没有.
什么? 生青蛙?
我们只使用最佳小青蛙, 从伊拉克挑选空运,
最优质泉水清洗, 轻巧屠宰,
牛奶巧克力包裹,
糖霜覆盖!
-Mr. Hilton? -Yes.
也许吧, 但是还是青蛙啊! -Mr. Hilton? -Yes.
也许吧, 但是还是青蛙啊!
You are sole proprietor and owner
还能是什么? You are sole proprietor and owner
还能是什么?
of the Whizzo Chocolate Company?
怎么! 都不剔骨吗? of the Whizzo Chocolate Company?
怎么! 都不剔骨吗?
I am.
如果我们剔了骨, 就不脆了, 不是吗? I am.
如果我们剔了骨, 就不脆了, 不是吗?
Constable Parrot and I are from the Hygiene Squad...
Oh, yes.
Constable Parrot吃了一个! Oh, yes.
Constable Parrot吃了一个!
...and we'd like to have a word with you
请容我暂退, 长官?
about your box of chocolates entitled
请容我暂退, 长官?
"The Whizzo Quality Assortment."
可以. "The Whizzo Quality Assortment."
Good, yes.
好, 上面清楚写着"脆蛙". Good, yes.
好, 上面清楚写着"脆蛙".
If I may begin at the beginning.
不管那个. 我们必须保护公众.
First, there is the Cherry Fondue.
民众不会想到巧克力里面会有真的青蛙. First, there is the Cherry Fondue.
民众不会想到巧克力里面会有真的青蛙.
Now this is extremely nasty,
警司还以为是----. Now this is extremely nasty,
警司还以为是----.
but we can't prosecute you for that!
他们肯定以为这是某种假蛙. but we can't prosecute you for that!
他们肯定以为这是某种假蛙.
Agreed.
Next we have number four, "Crunchy Frog."
假蛙?! Next we have number four, "Crunchy Frog."
我们不使用任何人造防腐添加剂! Next we have number four, "Crunchy Frog."
我们不使用任何人造防腐添加剂!
Yes.
我们不使用任何人造防腐添加剂!
Am I right in thinking there's a real frog in here?
不过, 我建议你以后把"脆蛙"这个词改成 Am I right in thinking there's a real frog in here?
不过, 我建议你以后把"脆蛙"这个词改成
Yes, a little one.
"脆, 生, 未去骨, 真的, 死青蛙" Yes, a little one.
"脆, 生, 未去骨, 真的, 死青蛙"
-Is it cooked? -No.
"脆, 生, 未去骨, 真的, 死青蛙"
What, a raw frog?
如果你不想被起诉. What, a raw frog?
如果你不想被起诉.
We use only the finest baby frogs,
那我们怎么推销? We use only the finest baby frogs,
那我们怎么推销?
dew picked and flown from Iraq,
我才不管你的销路. 我们必须保护公众! dew picked and flown from Iraq,
我才不管你的销路. 我们必须保护公众!
cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed,
现在, 看看这个? 五号. cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed,
是五号吧, 是不是? cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed,
是五号吧, 是不是?
and sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple-smooth
五号: "羊膀胱杯!" and sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple-smooth
五号: "羊膀胱杯!"
full-cream treble milk chocolate envelope,
and lovingly frosted with glucose!
That's as may be, but it's still a frog!
这算是什么甜食? That's as may be, but it's still a frog!
这算是什么甜食?
What else would it be?
我们选择新鲜多汁肥厚的康沃尔公羊膀胱, What else would it be?
我们选择新鲜多汁肥厚的康沃尔公羊膀胱,
Well, don't you even take the bones out?
我们选择新鲜多汁肥厚的康沃尔公羊膀胱,
If we took the bones out,
滤净, 蒸煮, 芝麻油熏香, If we took the bones out,
滤净, 蒸煮, 芝麻油熏香,
it wouldn't be crunchy, would it?
滤净, 蒸煮, 芝麻油熏香,
与干酪搅拌, 并以云雀呕吐物装饰!
Constable Parrot ate one of those!
- 云雀呕吐物? - 对极了. Constable Parrot ate one of those!
- 云雀呕吐物? - 对极了.
Would you excuse me for a moment, sir?
它上面可没提到云雀呕吐物! Would you excuse me for a moment, sir?
它上面可没提到云雀呕吐物!
Yes.
它上面可没提到云雀呕吐物!
Well, it says "Crunchy Frog" quite clearly.
啊, 不, 写了, 在盒子底下, Well, it says "Crunchy Frog" quite clearly.
啊, 不, 写了, 在盒子底下,
Well, never mind that.
在味精后面. Well, never mind that.
在味精后面.
We have to protect the public. People aren't going to think
there's a real frog in chocolate.
我觉得这可不够! 要是有个这样的 there's a real frog in chocolate.
我觉得这可不够! 要是有个这样的
The superintendent thought it was an Almond Whirl.
大红标签在盒子上我才满意. "警告: 云雀呕吐物!" The superintendent thought it was an Almond Whirl.
大红标签在盒子上我才满意. "警告: 云雀呕吐物!"
They're bound to think it's some kind of mock frog.
Mock frog?!
我们会销路暴跌! Mock frog?!
我们会销路暴跌!
We use no artificial preservatives or additives
好, 你怎么就不能生产常规的糖果, We use no artificial preservatives or additives
好, 你怎么就不能生产常规的糖果,
of any kind!
Nevertheless, I advise you to in future
像是果仁糖或者酸橙夹心糖, 我能理解的大众化口味, Nevertheless, I advise you to in future
像是果仁糖或者酸橙夹心糖, 我能理解的大众化口味,
to replace the words "Crunchy Frog"
with the legend "Crunchy, raw, unboned, real, dead frog"
即便是草莓软糖? 我说, 这个又是啥? with the legend "Crunchy, raw, unboned, real, dead frog"
"蟑螂团?" with the legend "Crunchy, raw, unboned, real, dead frog"
"蟑螂团?"
if you want to avoid prosecution.
还有这个, "炭疽波?" if you want to avoid prosecution.
还有这个, "炭疽波?"
What about our sales?
I don't give a damn about your sales.
We have to protect the public!
Now, what was this one? Number five.
It was number five, wasn't it?
Number five: "Ram's Bladder Cup!"
Now what kind of confection is this?
We use choicest juicy chunks of fresh Cornish ram's bladder,
还有这个是什么, "大吃一惊?" We use choicest juicy chunks of fresh Cornish ram's bladder,
还有这个是什么, "大吃一惊?"
emptied, steamed, flavored with sesame seeds,
啊啊, 那个是特产! emptied, steamed, flavored with sesame seeds,
用平滑单色的黑巧克力包裹, emptied, steamed, flavored with sesame seeds,
用平滑单色的黑巧克力包裹,
whipped into a fondue, and garnished with larks' vomit!
当你放入口中咬破, whipped into a fondue, and garnished with larks' vomit!
不锈钢瞬间弹开贯穿两颊! whipped into a fondue, and garnished with larks' vomit!
不锈钢瞬间弹开贯穿两颊!
-Larks' vomit? -Correct.
不锈钢瞬间弹开贯穿两颊!
It doesn't say anything down here about larks' vomit!
Yes, it does.
谁在嘴里咬开巧克力 Yes, it does.
谁在嘴里咬开巧克力
On the bottom of the box, after monosodium glutamate.
也不是打算让脸被刺穿! On the bottom of the box, after monosodium glutamate.
也不是打算让脸被刺穿!
I hardly think this is good enough!
无论如何, 这对糖果是不适当的! I hardly think this is good enough!
无论如何, 这对糖果是不适当的!
It would be more appropriate if the box bore a big red label.
我必须要求你跟我回局里. It would be more appropriate if the box bore a big red label.
我必须要求你跟我回局里.
"Warning: Larks' Vomit!"
- 公正的警官. - 不要对观众讲话! "Warning: Larks' Vomit!"
- 公正的警官. - 不要对观众讲话!
Our sales would plummet!
Well, why don't you move into
more conventional areas of confectionery,
like praline or lime cream,
a very popular flavor I'm led to understand,
or Strawberry Delight?
I mean, what's this one?
"Cockroach Cluster"?
And this, "Anthrax Ripple"?
信天翁!
And what's this one, "Spring Surprise"?
你不会想把那当烟抽的! And what's this one, "Spring Surprise"?
你不会想把那当烟抽的!
Ah, that's our specialty!
你不会想把那当烟抽的!
Covered in darkest, velvety smooth chocolate,
信天翁! 不要乱动! Covered in darkest, velvety smooth chocolate,
信天翁! 不要乱动!
when you pop it into your mouth, stainless steel bolts spring out
什么口味? 什么口味? when you pop it into your mouth, stainless steel bolts spring out
什么口味? 什么口味?
and punch straight through both cheeks!
海鸥尾羽! and punch straight through both cheeks!
海鸥尾羽!
鹈鹕糖!
If people pop a nice choccy in their mouth,
they don't expect to get their cheeks pierced!
信天翁! they don't expect to get their cheeks pierced!
给我来个... they don't expect to get their cheeks pierced!
来两个冰激凌, 好吗? they don't expect to get their cheeks pierced!
来两个冰激凌, 好吗?
In any case, it is an inadequate description of the sweetmeat!
我没有什么冰激凌, 我就卖这个信天翁! In any case, it is an inadequate description of the sweetmeat!
I shall have to ask you to accompany me to the station.
信天翁! I shall have to ask you to accompany me to the station.
呃, 什么口味? I shall have to ask you to accompany me to the station.
呃, 什么口味?
-It's a fair cop. -And don't talk to the audience!
好, 这是个信天翁, 对不? 哪来什么口味!
信天翁!
总有几种口味, 什么都有个味
可以了, 可以了! 这是信天翁味的!
什么海鸟, 什么口味! 信天翁!
附带华夫饼么?
当然没有他妈的华夫饼, 你个傻逼!
就他妈是信天翁, 我说...
停下! 停下! 太下流了!
赶快! 就现在, 我们需要你!
Albatross!
赶快! 就现在, 我们需要你!
穿黑衣服的, 我们舞台上需要你.
另一个, 快滚! 你连女人都不是!
Albatross!
另一个, 快滚! 你连女人都不是!
你少压迫我,哥们!
你想干嘛? 逃避征兵?
混蛋男性主义者!
上来, 短剧需要你!
You're not supposed to be smoking that!
没人比我更喜欢开怀大笑. You're not supposed to be smoking that!
没人比我更喜欢开怀大笑.
大概除了我老婆和她的损友.
Albatross! Don't take them!
What flavor is it? What flavor is it?
哦, 对, 还有Johnson上尉. What flavor is it? What flavor is it?
我想起来了, 大多数人 What flavor is it? What flavor is it?
Seagullsickle!
都比我更享受开怀大笑, 但是那就跑题了. Seagullsickle!
都比我更享受开怀大笑, 但是那就跑题了.
好了! 继续短剧!
另一个演员呢?
Pelican-bonbon!
好了, 你坐那把椅子? 现在...提示...短剧...上演!
Albatross!
好了, 你坐那把椅子? 现在...提示...短剧...上演!
Could I have... Could I have two ice creams, please?
好了, 你坐那把椅子? 现在...提示...短剧...上演!
I haven't got any ice creams, I just got this albatross!
晚上好, 先生! I haven't got any ice creams, I just got this albatross!
晚安. I haven't got any ice creams, I just got this albatross!
晚安.
-Albatross! -What flavor is it?
你的...你老婆是骚货(goer)? 啊? 懂我意思? 懂我意思?
Well, it's an albatross, isn't it?
你的...你老婆是骚货(goer)? 啊? 懂我意思? 懂我意思?
It's not any bloody flavor!
这个那个, 这个那个! 懂我意思? 不用说! It's not any bloody flavor!
这个那个, 这个那个! 懂我意思? 不用说!
Albatross!
There's gotta be some flavor, I mean everything's got a--
我-我...请再说一次?
All right, all right! It's bloody albatross flavor!
你的...你老婆. All right, all right! It's bloody albatross flavor!
很骚(go)吧,嗯? 很骚吧, 嗯? 嗯? All right, all right! It's bloody albatross flavor!
很骚(go)吧,嗯? 很骚吧, 嗯? 嗯?
Bleedin' seabird, bleedin' flavor! Albatross!
哈, 有些时候是出门的, 是的. Bleedin' seabird, bleedin' flavor! Albatross!
Do you get wafers with it?
我就说她是! 我就说她是! 不用说! 不用说! Do you get wafers with it?
我就说她是! 我就说她是! 不用说! 不用说!
Of course you don't get fucking wafers with it, you cunt!
懂我意思? 这个那个, 这个那个! Of course you don't get fucking wafers with it, you cunt!
懂我意思? 这个那个, 这个那个!
It's a fucking albatross, I mean...
Stop that! Stop that! It's filthy!
我觉得好像没明白(follow) Stop that! Stop that! It's filthy!
哦, "明白, 明白"? 不错, 确实不错! Stop that! Stop that! It's filthy!
Hold on! Right now, we need you!
一点头就像是对瞎蝙蝠使眼色! Hold on! Right now, we need you!
一点头就像是对瞎蝙蝠使眼色!
The one in the black, we need you for another skit on stage.
你...你是推销什么的? The one in the black, we need you for another skit on stage.
你...你是推销什么的?
And you, get off! You're not even a proper woman!
"卖, 卖"...实在厉害! 你会勾搭, 会得很, 嗯? And you, get off! You're not even a proper woman!
"卖, 卖"...实在厉害! 你会勾搭, 会得很, 嗯?
Don't you oppress me, mate!
"卖, 卖"...实在厉害! 你会勾搭, 会得很, 嗯?
What are you trying to do? Avoid registration or something?
勾搭, 嗯? 呼呼呼! What are you trying to do? Avoid registration or something?
Bleedin' sexist!
喔! 勾搭! Bleedin' sexist!
Come along, we need you for a skit!
不用说! Come along, we need you for a skit!
No one enjoys a good laugh more than I do.
喔! 那你老婆喜欢...闹着玩(in sport)? 嗯? No one enjoys a good laugh more than I do.
喔! 那你老婆喜欢...闹着玩(in sport)? 嗯?
Except perhaps for my wife and some of her friends.
Oh, yes, and Captain Johnson. Come to think of it,
啊, 她喜欢运动, 是的. Oh, yes, and Captain Johnson. Come to think of it,
most people enjoy a good laugh more than I do,
我就说她是! 我就说她是! most people enjoy a good laugh more than I do,
我就说她是! 我就说她是!
but that's beside the point. Right!
Let's get on with this skit!
其实, 她特别喜欢板球. Let's get on with this skit!
其实, 她特别喜欢板球.
Where's the other person for this skit?
她喜欢"寻欢作乐", 嗯? 喜欢"寻欢作乐"? Where's the other person for this skit?
她喜欢"寻欢作乐", 嗯? 喜欢"寻欢作乐"?
Right, you want to sit in that chair?
知道了, 很突出(been around)吧, 嗯?
And cue the skit!
- 是不是? - 哦, 远路而来, 是的. And cue the skit!
她来自Glendale. And cue the skit!
她来自Glendale.
-Evening, squire! -Good evening.
Is your... is your wife a goer?
不用说! Is your... is your wife a goer?
不用说!
Eh? Know what I mean? Know what I mean?
Nudge, nudge! Know what I mean? Say no more!
Glendale, 先生?
不用说! 不用说! 不用说! 不用说!
I... I beg your pardon?
Your... your wife. Does she go, eh?
喔... Your... your wife. Does she go, eh?
Does she go, eh? Eh?
你老婆...你的Glendale老婆喜不喜欢...
Well, she sometimes has to go, yes, of course.
摄影? 嗯? 嗯? 嗯? Well, she sometimes has to go, yes, of course.
摄影? 嗯? 嗯? 嗯?
I bet she does! I bet she does!
摄影? I bet she does! I bet she does!
摄影?
Say no more! Say no more!
"摄影, 嗯?" 他心照不宣的说! Say no more! Say no more!
"摄影, 嗯?" 他心照不宣的说!
Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge!
I'm afraid I don't quite follow you.
摄影? I'm afraid I don't quite follow you.
Oh, "follow me, follow me"? That's good, that's very good!
拍, 拍, 茄子, 茄子, 喀嚓, 喀嚓, 这个那个, 这个那个, 不用说! Oh, "follow me, follow me"? That's good, that's very good!
A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!
那种...假日照相, 嗯? A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!
他们能, 他们就在假期拍, 你看! A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!
他们能, 他们就在假期拍, 你看!
泳装, 偷拍... 你看, "偷拍" 摄影?
Are you selling something?
泳装, 偷拍... 你看, "偷拍" 摄影?
"Selling, selling," very good indeed!
不, 我们没有照相机! "Selling, selling," very good indeed!
不, 我们没有照相机!
You're wicked, you are, eh? Wicked, eh?
啊. 还没有, 喔哈! 嗯? 喔哈! 嗯? 喔哈! You're wicked, you are, eh? Wicked, eh?
啊. 还没有, 喔哈! 嗯? 喔哈! 嗯? 喔哈!
Wicked! Say no more!
嗯? 喔哈哈! 哈哈! Wicked! Say no more!
嗯? 喔哈哈! 哈哈!
喂, 你是不是暗示什么?
So your wife's interested in... in sport? Eh?
哦, 不, 不, 不 So your wife's interested in... in sport? Eh?
哦, 不, 不, 不
She likes sport, yes.
...是的! She likes sport, yes.
...是的!
I bet she does! I bet she does!
是? I bet she does! I bet she does!
是?
As a matter of fact, she's very fond of cricket.
那个, 我是说, 你是个大人物, 先生, 你看... As a matter of fact, she's very fond of cricket.
那个, 我是说, 你是个大人物, 先生, 你看...
She likes "games", eh? Likes "games"?
你...你是成功人士, 你看? She likes "games", eh? Likes "games"?
你什么意思? She likes "games", eh? Likes "games"?
你什么意思?
Knew she would, she's been around a bit, eh?
She's been around?
好, 我是说, 就是, 你... 你看, 你...就像... She's been around?
好, 我是说, 就是, 你... 你看, 你...就像...
Well, she has travelled, yes. She's from Glendale.
你成功了, 你看... 你睡觉... Well, she has travelled, yes. She's from Glendale.
你成功了, 你看... 你睡觉...
还有床伴?
对.
Say no more!
怎么个感觉? Say no more!
怎么个感觉?
Glendale, squire? Say no more!
Say no more! Say no more! Say no more!
下午好, Say no more! Say no more! Say no more!
欢迎来到慕尼黑拥挤的奥林匹克体育场 Say no more! Say no more! Say no more!
欢迎来到慕尼黑拥挤的奥林匹克体育场
令人惊叹的决赛第二回合.
Is your... is your Glendale wife interested in photography? Eh?
现在这边是德国队, 由队长黑格尔领队. Is your... is your Glendale wife interested in photography? Eh?
他们一定很喜欢这个下午. Is your... is your Glendale wife interested in photography? Eh?
他们一定很喜欢这个下午.
Photography?
他们一定很喜欢这个下午.
"Photographs, eh?" he asked him knowingly!
他们球队的问题 "Photographs, eh?" he asked him knowingly!
非常受媒体关注. "Photographs, eh?" he asked him knowingly!
非常受媒体关注.
Photography?
现在让我们看看他们的阵型 : Photography?
现在让我们看看他们的阵型 :
Snap, snap, grin, grin, wink, wink,
nudge, nudge, say no more!
德国队使用4-2-4, nudge, nudge, say no more!
莱布尼茨守门, nudge, nudge, say no more!
莱布尼茨守门,
Sort of, holiday snaps, you mean?
四后卫康德, 黑格尔, 叔本华和谢林, Sort of, holiday snaps, you mean?
四后卫康德, 黑格尔, 叔本华和谢林,
They could be, they could be taken on holiday, you know!
四前锋施莱格尔, 维特根斯坦, 尼采和海德格尔, They could be, they could be taken on holiday, you know!
四前锋施莱格尔, 维特根斯坦, 尼采和海德格尔,
Swimming costumes, candid... you know, "candid" photography?
中场两人贝肯鲍尔和雅斯贝尔斯. Swimming costumes, candid... you know, "candid" photography?
中场两人贝肯鲍尔和雅斯贝尔斯.
No, we don't have a camera!
贝肯鲍尔有点令人惊讶(就他不是哲学家). No, we don't have a camera!
贝肯鲍尔有点令人惊讶(就他不是哲学家).
Still...
这边是希腊队,
领队的是老将中前卫赫拉克利特.
让我们看看他们的阵型 :
可以看出这是更倾向防守的阵型.
Look, are you insinuating something?
柏拉图守门, 苏格拉底是前锋, Look, are you insinuating something?
柏拉图守门, 苏格拉底是前锋,
亚里士多德是自由中卫. 亚里士多德, 状态很好.
Oh, no, no, no...
Yes!
一个意外是阿基米德出场(他也不是哲学家). Yes!
一个意外是阿基米德出场(他也不是哲学家).
Well?
Well, I mean, you're a man of the world, squire,
好, 这是主裁: 孔夫子, 孔子 Well, I mean, you're a man of the world, squire,
好, 这是主裁: 孔夫子, 孔子
you know... you've been around, you know?
好, 这是主裁: 孔夫子, 孔子
What do you mean?
和两位边裁, 圣奥古斯丁和圣托马斯·阿奎纳. What do you mean?
和两位边裁, 圣奥古斯丁和圣托马斯·阿奎纳.
Well, I mean, like, you've... you know, you, like...
两位队长在一起握手 Well, I mean, like, you've... you know, you, like...
两位队长在一起握手
you've done it, you know... you've slept... with a lady?
准备开始激动人心的决赛.. you've done it, you know... you've slept... with a lady?
主裁, 孔子先生, 确认之后... you've done it, you know... you've slept... with a lady?
...比赛开始!
Yes.
尼采与黑格尔, Yes.
尼采与黑格尔,
What's it like?
老雅斯贝尔斯, 七号, 在外围, What's it like?
老雅斯贝尔斯, 七号, 在外围,
维特根斯坦与他一起,
那是贝肯鲍尔,
谢林在那边,
Good afternoon, and welcome to a packed Olympic stadium,
海德格尔隐蔽着, 叔本华, Good afternoon, and welcome to a packed Olympic stadium,
海德格尔隐蔽着, 叔本华,
Munchen, for the second leg of this exciting final.
现在看看希腊队. Munchen, for the second leg of this exciting final.
伊壁鸠鲁, 他是六号, Munchen, for the second leg of this exciting final.
伊壁鸠鲁, 他是六号,
亚里士多德, 恩培多克勒和赫拉克利特,
And here come the Germans now,
德谟克利特也在一起, 那是阿基米德, 苏格拉底, And here come the Germans now,
德谟克利特也在一起, 那是阿基米德, 苏格拉底,
led by their skipper "Nobby" Hegel.
They must surely start favorites this afternoon.
他在那, 苏格拉底, They must surely start favorites this afternoon.
They've certainly attracted the most attention from the press
苏格拉底到前场... They've certainly attracted the most attention from the press
苏格拉底到前场...
with their team problems.
And let's now see their line-up:
球在那, 球在那. And let's now see their line-up:
等到打开局面时候 And let's now see their line-up:
等到打开局面时候
The Germans playing 4-2-4, Leibniz in goal,
我们再回到赛场. The Germans playing 4-2-4, Leibniz in goal,
我们再回到赛场.
back four Kant, Hegel, Schopenhauer, and Schelling,
front-runners Schlegel, Wittgenstein,
Nietzsche and Heidegger,
and the midfield duo of Beckenbauer and Jaspers.
Beckenbauer obviously a bit of a surprise there.
大惊小怪, 是不是啊? 大惊小怪. Beckenbauer obviously a bit of a surprise there.
大惊小怪, 是不是啊? 大惊小怪.
对啊, 可以了.
And here come the Greeks,
好一杯夏斯拉酒庄的好酒,是不是啊, 先生? And here come the Greeks,
好一杯夏斯拉酒庄的好酒,是不是啊, 先生?
led out by their veteran center half Herakleitos.
哦, 你说对啦, 先知. led out by their veteran center half Herakleitos.
哦, 你说对啦, 先知.
Let's look at their team:
对对. Let's look at their team:
谁想得到, 三十年前, Let's look at their team:
谁想得到, 三十年前,
As you'd expect, it's a much more defensive line-up.
Plato's in goal, Socrates a front-runner there,
我们能坐在这里 喝到夏斯拉酒, 嗯? Plato's in goal, Socrates a front-runner there,
我们能坐在这里 喝到夏斯拉酒, 嗯?
and Aristotle as sweeper.
Aristotle, very much the man in form.
是, 是. Aristotle, very much the man in form.
那些日子能买一杯茶都不得了. Aristotle, very much the man in form.
那些日子能买一杯茶都不得了.
One surprise is the inclusion of Archimedes.
- 对! 一杯凉茶! - 对! One surprise is the inclusion of Archimedes.
没有奶也没有糖!
茶都不放!
就一个破杯子.
Well, here comes the referee:
哦, 我们从来没有过杯子! Well, here comes the referee:
哦, 我们从来没有过杯子!
K'ung fu-tsze (Confucius) and his two linesmen,
哦, 我们从来没有过杯子!
St Augustine and St Thomas Aquinas.
我们都把报纸卷起来盛水喝! St Augustine and St Thomas Aquinas.
我们都把报纸卷起来盛水喝!
And as the two skippers come together to shake hands,
最好的时光是吸潮衣服的时候. And as the two skippers come together to shake hands,
最好的时光是吸潮衣服的时候.
we're ready for the start of this very exciting final.
不过你看, 那些日子我们很快乐, 尽管那么穷. we're ready for the start of this very exciting final.
不过你看, 那些日子我们很快乐, 尽管那么穷.
The referee, Mr. Confucius, checks his sand, and...
- 因为我们贫穷! - 对! The referee, Mr. Confucius, checks his sand, and...
They're off!
我老爹总对我说: They're off!
Nietzsche and Hegel there,
"金钱不能带来快乐, 儿子!" Nietzsche and Hegel there,
- 他说得对! - 对! Nietzsche and Hegel there,
- 他说得对! - 对!
Karl Jaspers number seven on the outside,
我一无所有时更快乐! Karl Jaspers number seven on the outside,
我一无所有时更快乐!
Wittgenstein there with him.
我们那时住在那个窄小的翻倒屋, Wittgenstein there with him.
我们那时住在那个窄小的翻倒屋,
There's Beckenbauer, Schelling's in there,
屋顶有个大洞. There's Beckenbauer, Schelling's in there,
屋顶有个大洞.
Heidegger covering. Schopenhauer.
屋子! Heidegger covering. Schopenhauer.
你还有屋子住! 我们住在小房间, Heidegger covering. Schopenhauer.
你还有屋子住! 我们住在小房间,
And now it's the Greeks. Epikuros, Plotinus number six,
一共二十六个人, 没有家具, 一半地板都没了, And now it's the Greeks. Epikuros, Plotinus number six,
一共二十六个人, 没有家具, 一半地板都没了,
Aristotle, Empedokles of him. him.
大伙挤在一个角落防止掉下去. Aristotle, Empedokles of him. him.
There's Archimedes, Socrates, there he is, Socrates.
你还有房间住! 我们住在走廊! There's Archimedes, Socrates, there he is, Socrates.
哦, 我们做梦都想住在走廊!
Socrates there going through...
简直就像宫殿一样!
There's the ball, there's the ball!
我们从前住的地方是垃圾场里的一个旧水箱. There's the ball, there's the ball!
我们从前住的地方是垃圾场里的一个旧水箱.
We'll be bringing you back to this exciting contest
the moment anything interesting happens.
每天早上唤醒我们的是倒在身上的 the moment anything interesting happens.
每天早上唤醒我们的是倒在身上的
一堆烂鱼!
房子, 哼!
好, 我说的房子, 只不过是地上的一个洞,
用一叠油布盖上, 不过对我们来说那就算是房子!
Very passable, this, eh? Very passable.
用一叠油布盖上, 不过对我们来说那就算是房子!
Nothing like a good glass of Château de Chasselet,
我们又从洞里被赶出来. 只好去住在湖里! Nothing like a good glass of Château de Chasselet,
我们又从洞里被赶出来. 只好去住在湖里!
-eh, Josiah? -You're right there, Obadiah.
我们又从洞里被赶出来. 只好去住在湖里!
Who would have thought, 30 years ago,
你们还有个湖! Who would have thought, 30 years ago,
你们还有个湖!
we'd all be sitting here drinking Château de Chasselet?
我们一百五十人住在路上的鞋盒里! we'd all be sitting here drinking Château de Chasselet?
我们一百五十人住在路上的鞋盒里!
Them days we were glad to have the price of a cup of tea.
Aye! A cup of cold tea!
- 纸壳箱? - 是啊! Aye! A cup of cold tea!
Without milk or sugar!
你真好运! Without milk or sugar!
Or tea!
我们在化粪池里卷着报纸住了三个月! Or tea!
我们在化粪池里卷着报纸住了三个月!
In a cracked cup and all.
Oh, we never used to have a cup!
必须每天早上六点起来清理报纸, Oh, we never used to have a cup!
必须每天早上六点起来清理报纸,
We used to have to drink out of a rolled-up newspaper!
然后去工厂工作十四小时, We used to have to drink out of a rolled-up newspaper!
然后去工厂工作十四小时,
The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.
一周又一周, 每周只有六便士, 等到回了家, The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.
一周又一周, 每周只有六便士, 等到回了家,
But you know, we were happy in those days,
我们老爹不用他那皮带抽我们一顿就不睡觉! But you know, we were happy in those days,
我们老爹不用他那皮带抽我们一顿就不睡觉!
although we were poor.
我们老爹不用他那皮带抽我们一顿就不睡觉!
Because we were poor!
My old dad used to say to me:
真是享受! My old dad used to say to me:
"Money doesn't bring you happiness, son!"
我们每天三点从湖里爬起来 "Money doesn't bring you happiness, son!"
我们每天三点从湖里爬起来
He was right!
在湖里翻找, 吃一小撮水虱, He was right!
在湖里翻找, 吃一小撮水虱,
I was happier then and I had nothing!
一天在工厂干二十小时, 一个月只得两便士, 回到家, I was happier then and I had nothing!
一天在工厂干二十小时, 一个月只得两便士, 回到家,
We used to live in this tiny old tumble-down house
我们老爹还要用破酒瓶子 We used to live in this tiny old tumble-down house
我们老爹还要用破酒瓶子
with great big holes in the roof.
把我们劈头盖脸一顿打, 这还是走了运! with great big holes in the roof.
把我们劈头盖脸一顿打, 这还是走了运!
House! You were lucky to live in a house!
We used to live in one room,
好, 当然, 我们更苦! We used to live in one room,
all 26 of us, no furniture, half the floor was missing,
我们半夜就从鞋盒子里爬出来, all 26 of us, no furniture, half the floor was missing,
我们半夜就从鞋盒子里爬出来,
we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of falling.
用舌头把路面舔净! we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of falling.
You were lucky to have a room!
也只能吃到半撮冻僵的爬虫, You were lucky to have a room!
也只能吃到半撮冻僵的爬虫,
We used to have to live in the corridor!
一天苦干二十四小时 六年才拿四便士, We used to have to live in the corridor!
一天苦干二十四小时 六年才拿四便士,
Oh, we used to dream of living in a corridor!
等我们回家, 我们老爹就用面包刀把我们切成两半! Oh, we used to dream of living in a corridor!
等我们回家, 我们老爹就用面包刀把我们切成两半!
Would have been a palace to us!
We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip.
对! We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip.
我每天夜里十点就得起来, We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip.
我每天夜里十点就得起来,
We got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish
上床前半小时, 吃一块冰冷的毒药, We got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish
上床前半小时, 吃一块冰冷的毒药,
dumped all over us!
House? Huh!
每天在工厂做二十九小时工 House? Huh!
Well, when I say "house", it was just a hole in the ground
花钱才能求厂主允许你工作, Well, when I say "house", it was just a hole in the ground
等我们回了家, 老爹干掉我们 Well, when I say "house", it was just a hole in the ground
等我们回了家, 老爹干掉我们
covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us!
还要在我们坟上跳舞, 唱哈利路亚! covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us!
We were evicted from our hole in the ground.
你把这告诉现在的年轻人, We were evicted from our hole in the ground.
你把这告诉现在的年轻人,
We had to go and live in a lake!
他们都不信!
肯定不信!
You were lucky to have a lake!
There were 150 of us living in a shoebox
in the middle of the road!
好, 还是没有比分, in the middle of the road!
好, 还是没有比分,
不过场上一定不缺乏刺激, 如你所见,
A cardboard box?
不过场上一定不缺乏刺激, 如你所见,
-Aye! -You were lucky!
尼采刚被黄牌警告 因为与裁判争执. -Aye! -You were lucky!
尼采刚被黄牌警告 因为与裁判争执.
We lived for three months in a rolled-up newspaper
他指控孔子没有自由意志, We lived for three months in a rolled-up newspaper
他指控孔子没有自由意志,
in a septic tank!
孔子向尼采出示黄牌, in a septic tank!
孔子向尼采出示黄牌,
We used to have to get up every morning, at six o'clock
这是尼采在四场比赛中的第三个黄牌. We used to have to get up every morning, at six o'clock
这是尼采在四场比赛中的第三个黄牌.
and clean the newspaper, go to work down the mill,
哦, 是卡尔马克思. and clean the newspaper, go to work down the mill,
哦, 是卡尔马克思.
fourteen hours a day, week in, week out,
卡尔马克思正在热身, 看来他马上 fourteen hours a day, week in, week out,
卡尔马克思正在热身, 看来他马上
for sixpence a week, and when we got home,
要被德国队换上. for sixpence a week, and when we got home,
要被德国队换上.
our dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!
显然教练马丁路德决定全力进攻 our dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!
显然教练马丁路德决定全力进攻
Luxury!
的确应该如此, 比赛还剩两分钟. Luxury!
的确应该如此, 比赛还剩两分钟.
We used to have to get out of the lake
但是最大的问题是: 谁会被换下场? We used to have to get out of the lake
但是最大的问题是: 谁会被换下场?
at three o'clock in the morning,
clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel,
谁要被拿下? clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel,
可能是雅斯贝尔斯, 黑格尔或者叔本华. clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel,
可能是雅斯贝尔斯, 黑格尔或者叔本华.
work 20 hours a day at mill for tuppence a month,
最终是维特根斯坦! work 20 hours a day at mill for tuppence a month,
最终是维特根斯坦!
come home, and dad would beat us around the head
最终是维特根斯坦!
and neck with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!
马克思上场了! 看看他能为德国攻势带来什么. and neck with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!
显然没有. 真丢人. 好, 现在, 还剩一分钟,
Well, of course we had it tough!
显然没有. 真丢人. 好, 现在, 还剩一分钟,
We used to have to get up out of the shoebox
周二的复赛看来成为必然了. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox
周二的复赛看来成为必然了.
in the middle of the night,
那是阿基米德, 我看他有了个主意! in the middle of the night,
那是阿基米德, 我看他有了个主意!
and lick the road clean with our tongues!
我发现了!(阿基米德名言) and lick the road clean with our tongues!
我发现了!(阿基米德名言)
We had to eat half a handful of freezing cold gravel,
阿基米德传给苏格拉底, 苏格拉底传回阿基米德,
work 24 hours a day at mill for fourpence every six years,
阿基米德传给苏格拉底, 苏格拉底传回阿基米德,
and when we got home,
阿基米德传给赫拉克利特, 他过了黑格尔, and when we got home,
阿基米德传给赫拉克利特, 他过了黑格尔,
our dad would slice us in two with a breadknife!
赫拉克利特滑了一下, 苏格拉底冲到底线, our dad would slice us in two with a breadknife!
赫拉克利特滑了一下, 苏格拉底冲到底线,
Right.
苏格拉底胜利了! 球进了! 希腊人疯狂了! Right.
苏格拉底胜利了! 球进了! 希腊人疯狂了!
I had to get up in the morning, at ten o'clock at night,
苏格拉底胜利了! 球进了! 希腊人疯狂了!
half an hour before I went to bed,
希腊队在狂奔, half an hour before I went to bed,
eat a lump of cold poison,
苏格拉底立功了, 赏心悦目 德国队有意见! eat a lump of cold poison,
苏格拉底立功了, 赏心悦目 德国队有意见!
work 29 hours a day down mill
黑格尔辩称现实只是先验的非辅助自然主义伦理学, work 29 hours a day down mill
黑格尔辩称现实只是先验的非辅助自然主义伦理学,
and pay mill-owner for permission to come to work,
and when we got home,
our dad would kill us
康德定言令式地坚持 our dad would kill us
康德定言令式地坚持
and dance about on our graves, singing Hallelujah!
道义伦理学只存在于想象中 and dance about on our graves, singing Hallelujah!
道义伦理学只存在于想象中
而且马克思说这是越位!
And you try and tell the young people of today that,
但是孔子吹响了终场哨 结束了! And you try and tell the young people of today that,
and they won't believe you!
德国队, 曾在半决赛击溃了英国中场三杰 and they won't believe you!
德国队, 曾在半决赛击溃了英国中场三杰
No, no they won't!
边沁, 洛克和霍布斯, 现在被反败为胜!
我们再来重放!
Well, there may be no score,
这是, 苏格拉底, Well, there may be no score,
这是, 苏格拉底,
but there's certainly no lack of excitement here.
苏格拉底头球破门, 莱布尼茨没有任何机会! but there's certainly no lack of excitement here.
苏格拉底头球破门, 莱布尼茨没有任何机会!
As you can see,
看这帮希腊人乐的! As you can see,
看这帮希腊人乐的!
Nietzsche has just been booked for arguing with the referee.
He accused Confucius of having no free will,
他们是, "快刀"索福克勒斯, 恩培多克勒, 赫拉克利特! He accused Confucius of having no free will,
他们是, "快刀"索福克勒斯, 恩培多克勒, 赫拉克利特!
and Confucius, he say, "Name go in book."
这样的比赛! and Confucius, he say, "Name go in book."
这样的比赛!
And this is Nietzsche's third booking in four games.
伊壁鸠鲁在那边, 和苏格拉底, And this is Nietzsche's third booking in four games.
队长立功了 大概这是 And this is Nietzsche's third booking in four games.
队长立功了 大概这是
And, who's that? It's Karl Marx. Karl Marx is warming up.
他职业生涯最重要一球! And, who's that? It's Karl Marx. Karl Marx is warming up.
他职业生涯最重要一球!
It looks as though there's going to be
a substitution on the German side.
Obviously manager, Martin Luther,
has decided on all-out attack, as indeed he must,
with only two minutes of the match to go.
But the big question is: Who is he going to replace?
哦! 下午好, 先生. 能帮你什么? But the big question is: Who is he going to replace?
哦! 下午好, 先生. 能帮你什么?
Who is going to come off? It could be Jaspers,
是的, 我想要一场争吵, 谢谢. Who is going to come off? It could be Jaspers,
是的, 我想要一场争吵, 谢谢.
Hegel or Schopenhauer.
But it's Wittgenstein! Wittgenstein, who saw his aunty
only last week! And here's Marx!
Let's see if he can put some life into this German attack.
没问题, 先生. 嗯, 你从前来过么? Let's see if he can put some life into this German attack.
没问题, 先生. 嗯, 你从前来过么?
Evidently not. What a shame.
啊, 没, 这是头一次. Evidently not. What a shame.
啊, 没, 这是头一次.
Well, now, with just over a minute left,
明白了. 好, 你是只想要 Well, now, with just over a minute left,
明白了. 好, 你是只想要
a replay on Tuesday looks absolutely vital.
一场争吵还是想来个整套? a replay on Tuesday looks absolutely vital.
一场争吵还是想来个整套?
There's Archimedes, and I think he's had an idea!
好, 呃, 要花多少钱? There's Archimedes, and I think he's had an idea!
好, 呃, 要花多少钱?
Eureka!
好, 每五分钟争吵要一磅, Eureka!
好, 每五分钟争吵要一磅,
Archimedes out to Socrates, Socrates back to Archimedes,
只要八磅就可以体验一个疗程. Archimedes out to Socrates, Socrates back to Archimedes,
好, 我就先试一次好了 看看有什么效果. Archimedes out to Socrates, Socrates back to Archimedes,
好, 我就先试一次好了 看看有什么效果.
Archimedes out to Herakleitos, he beats Hegel,
好吧. 啊, 是了, 去Barnard先生那里, 12号房间. Archimedes out to Herakleitos, he beats Hegel,
好吧. 啊, 是了, 去Barnard先生那里, 12号房间.
Herakleitos, a little flick, here he comes on the far post,
非常感谢. Herakleitos, a little flick, here he comes on the far post,
非常感谢.
Socrates is there! Socrates heads it in!
Socrates has scored!
The Greeks are going mad!
你想干什么? The Greeks are going mad!
你想干什么?
The Greeks are going mad, Socrates scores,
- 好, 我刚才... - 少来这套, The Greeks are going mad, Socrates scores,
你这恶心的鹦鹉屎! 把你那化脓口子闭了, 破鸟! The Greeks are going mad, Socrates scores,
你这恶心的鹦鹉屎! 把你那化脓口子闭了, 破鸟!
what a beautiful pass from Archimedes!
你这恶心的鹦鹉屎! 把你那化脓口子闭了, 破鸟!
The Germans are disputing it.
你这恶心的鹦鹉屎! 把你那化脓口子闭了, 破鸟!
Hegel is arguing that the reality
真让我恶心, 你躯壳里填满了又老又臭的变态! Hegel is arguing that the reality
真让我恶心, 你躯壳里填满了又老又臭的变态!
is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics;
真让我恶心, 你躯壳里填满了又老又臭的变态!
Kant, via the categorical imperative,
听着, 我是来争吵的! Kant, via the categorical imperative,
听着, 我是来争吵的!
is holding that, ontologically
哦, 哦, 我抱歉, 但这屋是辱骂! is holding that, ontologically
哦, 哦, 我抱歉, 但这屋是辱骂!
it exists only in the imagination,
哦, 哦, 我抱歉, 但这屋是辱骂!
and Marx is claiming it was offside.
- 哦, 哦, 我看到了! - 哈哈哈! and Marx is claiming it was offside.
- 哦, 哦, 我看到了! - 哈哈哈!
But Confucius has answered them with the final whistle!
- 真是抱歉. - 没事, 你要去12A房间, 隔壁. But Confucius has answered them with the final whistle!
- 真是抱歉. - 没事, 你要去12A房间, 隔壁.
It's all over!
- 哦, 我看见了. 非常感谢. - 不客气. It's all over!
- 哦, 我看见了. 非常感谢. - 不客气.
Germany, having trounced England's famous midfield trio
of Bentham, Locke and Hobbes in the semi-final,
饭桶... of Bentham, Locke and Hobbes in the semi-final,
饭桶...
have been beaten by the odd goal,
and let's see it again.
呃, 这是争吵的房间吗?
There it is, Socrates--
Socrates heads in and Leibniz doesn't have a chance.
我告诉过你了. Socrates heads in and Leibniz doesn't have a chance.
And just look at those delighted Greeks.
- 呃, 没有, 你没说过. - 不, 我说了. And just look at those delighted Greeks.
- 什么时候? - 就现在. And just look at those delighted Greeks.
- 什么时候? - 就现在.
There they are, "Chopper" Sophocles,
- 不, 你没有. - 不, 说了. There they are, "Chopper" Sophocles,
- 不, 你没有. - 不, 说了.
Empedokles of Acragus, what a game he had.
- 我跟你说就没有! - 你肯定没有! Empedokles of Acragus, what a game he had.
等一等, 这是五分钟争吵还是半小时的? Empedokles of Acragus, what a game he had.
等一等, 这是五分钟争吵还是半小时的?
And Epikuros is there, and Socrates, the captain,
哦, 哦, 我知道了. 只是五分钟的. And Epikuros is there, and Socrates, the captain,
哦, 哦, 我知道了. 只是五分钟的.
who scored what was probably the most important goal
只有五分钟... 好了, 谢谢. who scored what was probably the most important goal
只有五分钟... 好了, 谢谢.
of his career.
只有五分钟... 好了, 谢谢.
- 反正, 我说了. - 哦, 不, 你没说.
现在让我们彻底弄清楚.
- 我明白告诉了你. - 不, 你没有.
- 不, 我说了. - 不, 你没说.
Good afternoon, sir. May I help you?
- 不, 我说了. - 不, 你没说.
Yes, I'd like to have an argument, please.
哦, 看, 这不算争吵! Yes, I'd like to have an argument, please.
- 是的, 当然算! - 不, 不是! 这只是斗嘴! Yes, I'd like to have an argument, please.
- 是的, 当然算! - 不, 不是! 这只是斗嘴!
- 不, 不是! - 就是!
- 不是! - 就是! 你只是在和我斗嘴!
- 我没有! - 你就是!
- 不是, 不是, 不是! - 你这不就是!
Certainly, sir. Have you been here before?
- 胡说! - 哦, 这没有意义! Certainly, sir. Have you been here before?
- 胡说! - 哦, 这没有意义!
No, this is my first time.
I see. Well, do you want to have just one argument
不, 不是的. I see. Well, do you want to have just one argument
是, 就是. I see. Well, do you want to have just one argument
or were you thinking of taking a course?
我来这里想争吵. or were you thinking of taking a course?
不, 你不是. 你来这里就想要争吵. or were you thinking of taking a course?
不, 你不是. 你来这里就想要争吵.
Well, what is the cost?
对, 但是争吵不只是斗嘴! Well, what is the cost?
对, 但是争吵不只是斗嘴!
Yes, it's one pound for a five-minute argument,
- 不, 可以是. - 不, 争吵是一系列互相关联的 Yes, it's one pound for a five-minute argument,
- 不, 可以是. - 不, 争吵是一系列互相关联的
but only eight pounds for a course of ten.
旨在建立陈述的命题. but only eight pounds for a course of ten.
- 不, 它不是! - 是, 它是! 它不只是斗嘴! but only eight pounds for a course of ten.
- 不, 它不是! - 是, 它是! 它不只是斗嘴!
Well, I think I'll just try the one
- 不, 它不是! - 是, 它是! 它不只是斗嘴!
and see how it goes from there.
看, 如果我和你争论, 我就要站在相反立场. and see how it goes from there.
看, 如果我和你争论, 我就要站在相反立场.
Fine. Ah, yes, try Mr. Barnard, Room 12.
Thank you very much.
没错, 但你也不能只是说"不, 不是!" Thank you very much.
没错, 但你也不能只是说"不, 不是!"
- 不, 是的! - 不对, 不是!
- 不, 它是! - 争吵是一个智慧的过程.
-What do you want? -Well, I was told outside--
Don't give me that,
斗嘴只是无意识的否认他人所说! Don't give me that,
斗嘴只是无意识的否认他人所说!
you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!
斗嘴只是无意识的否认他人所说!
What?!
-它不是! - 就是! What?!
-它不是! - 就是!
Shut your festering gob, you tit!
- 根本不是! - 现在你看... Shut your festering gob, you tit!
- 根本不是! - 现在你看...
Your type make me puke,
谢谢! 早安! Your type make me puke,
you vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert!
什么? 就这样! 早安! you vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert!
什么? 就这样! 早安!
Listen, I came here for an argument!
什么? 就这样! 早安!
Oh, oh, I'm sorry, but this is Abuse!
才刚刚有趣! Oh, oh, I'm sorry, but this is Abuse!
呃, 我很抱歉, 五分钟到了!
Oh, oh, I see! Terribly sorry.
现在根本没有到五分钟! Oh, oh, I see! Terribly sorry.
现在根本没有到五分钟!
No, you want Room 12A, next door.
- 我看到了. - 哦, 不对, 没到. No, you want Room 12A, next door.
- 我看到了. - 哦, 不对, 没到.
Oh, I see. Thank you very much.
Not at all.
Stupid git.
抱歉, 我... 我不能继续争论. Stupid git.
抱歉, 我... 我不能继续争论.
什么?
Is this the right room for an argument?
如果你想继续, 你必须再买五分钟. Is this the right room for an argument?
但是现在根本没有到五分钟! Is this the right room for an argument?
但是现在根本没有到五分钟!
I've told you once.
No, you haven't.
-Yes, I have. -When?
哦, 怎么这样! 哦, 真扯淡! -Yes, I have. -When?
哦, 怎么这样! 哦, 真扯淡!
-Just now. -No, you didn't.
哦, 怎么这样! 哦, 真扯淡!
-Yes, I did. -You didn't!
哦, 怎么这样! 哦, 真扯淡!
-I did. -No, you didn't!
你要是想继续, 你必须再买五分钟! -I did. -No, you didn't!
你要是想继续, 你必须再买五分钟!
-I'm telling you I did! -You most certainly did not!
One moment, is this the five-minute argument
or the full half hour?
哦, 算了. 给你. or the full half hour?
哦, 算了. 给你.
Oh, oh, I see. Just the five minutes.
哦, 算了. 给你.
Just the five minutes... Right, thank you.
谢谢. Just the five minutes... Right, thank you.
谢谢.
-Anyway, I did. -Oh, no, you didn't.
- 好啦? -Anyway, I did. -Oh, no, you didn't.
Now let's get one thing absolutely clear.
- 什么好啦? Now let's get one thing absolutely clear.
- 什么好啦?
-I most definitely told you. -No, you didn't.
现在根本没有到五分钟! -I most definitely told you. -No, you didn't.
-Yes, I did. -No, you didn't.
告诉你了, 你要是想继续, -Yes, I did. -No, you didn't.
告诉你了, 你要是想继续,
-Yes, I did. -No, you didn't.
你必须再买五分钟. -Yes, I did. -No, you didn't.
对, 对, 好, 我已经付钱了! -Yes, I did. -No, you didn't.
对, 对, 好, 我已经付钱了!
-Yes, I did. Yes, I did... -No you didn't. No you didn't...
- 不, 你没有! - 我付了! -Yes, I did. Yes, I did... -No you didn't. No you didn't...
- 你没有! - 我付了! -Yes, I did. Yes, I did... -No you didn't. No you didn't...
- 你没有! - 我付了!
Oh, look, this isn't an argument!
- 你从没... - 我付了! Oh, look, this isn't an argument!
- 你从没... - 我付了!
Yes, it is! No, it isn't!
哦, 我们争的都是什么呀! Yes, it is! No, it isn't!
哦, 我们争的都是什么呀!
-It's just contradiction! -No, it isn't!
好, 我很抱歉, 但是你没付钱! -It's just contradiction! -No, it isn't!
啊哈! 但是我如果没付钱, 你怎么在争论?
-It is! -It is not!
啊哈! 但是我如果没付钱, 你怎么在争论?
-You just contradicted me! -I did not!
啊哈! 但是我如果没付钱, 你怎么在争论?
-You did! -No, no, no!
啊哈! 逮住你了! -You did! -No, no, no!
啊哈! 逮住你了!
-You did just then! -Nonsense!
啊哈! 逮住你了!
Oh, this is futile!
-No, it isn't. -Yes, it is.
I came here for a good argument.
- 不, 你没有. -是的, 我有. I came here for a good argument.
- 不, 你没有. -是的, 我有.
No, you didn't. You came here for an argument.
如果你争论了, 我肯定是付钱了. No, you didn't. You came here for an argument.
如果你争论了, 我肯定是付钱了.
Yes, but argument isn't just contradiction!
Well, can be.
不一定. 我可以在空闲时间争论. Well, can be.
不一定. 我可以在空闲时间争论.
No, an argument is a connected series of statements
- 哦, 我受够了! - 不, 你没有! No, an argument is a connected series of statements
- 哦, 我受够了! - 不, 你没有!
intended to establish a proposition.
-No, it isn't! -Yes, it is!
- 是, 我受够了! - 不, 你没有! -No, it isn't! -Yes, it is!
- 是, 我受够了! - 不, 你没有!
It isn't just contradiction!
- 是, 我受够了! - 不, 你没有!
Look, if I argue with you,
I must take up a contrary position.
Yes, but that isn't just saying, "No, it isn't!"
我有两条腿 从屁股到地板 Yes, but that isn't just saying, "No, it isn't!"
我有两条腿 从屁股到地板
-Yes, it is! -No, it isn't!
我有两条腿 从屁股到地板
-Yes, it is! Yes, it is... -No, it isn't! No, it isn't...
我有两条腿 从屁股到地板
Argument is an intellectual process.
当我抬起它们 它们就走路 Argument is an intellectual process.
当我抬起它们 它们就走路
Contradiction is just an automatic gain-saying
of anything the other person says!
我又抬起它们 它们就上楼 of anything the other person says!
我又抬起它们 它们就上楼
-It is not! -It is!
我又抬起它们 它们就上楼
-Not at all! -Now look--
我又抬起它们 它们就上楼
Thank you! Good morning!
我再刮它们 它们就秃了 Thank you! Good morning!
我再刮它们 它们就秃了
What?
That's it! Good morning!
I was just getting interested!
I'm sorry, the five minutes is up!
That was never five minutes, just now!
-I'm afraid it was. -Oh, no, it wasn't.
I'm sorry, I'm... I'm not allowed to argue anymore.
-What? -If you want me to go on arguing
当个傻瓜多幸福 -What? -If you want me to go on arguing
当个傻瓜多幸福
you'll have to pay for another five minutes.
当个傻瓜多幸福
But that was never five minutes, just now!
像头牛一样无害
Oh, come on! Oh, this is ridiculous!
If you want me to go on arguing,
渺小得不能遮阳 If you want me to go on arguing,
渺小得不能遮阳
you'll have to pay for another five minutes!
时而取笑一下那
Oh, all right. Here you are.
温暖混乱的人群 Oh, all right. Here you are.
温暖混乱的人群
Thank you.
Well?
当个傻瓜多幸福 Well?
当个傻瓜多幸福
Well what?
That was never five minutes, just now!
I told you, if you want me to go on arguing,
把大脑浸泡快乐 I told you, if you want me to go on arguing,
把大脑浸泡快乐
you'll have to pay for another five minutes.
把大脑浸泡快乐
Yes, yes, well, I've just paid!
儿童在身后大笑
No, you didn't!
儿童在身后大笑
-I did! -You did not!
不用怕受到攻击 -I did! -You did not!
不用怕受到攻击
-I did! -You never...
像玩具一样报仇 -I did! -You never...
像玩具一样报仇
Look, I don't want to argue about this.
像玩具一样报仇
Well, I'm very sorry, but you didn't pay!
Aha! But if I didn't pay, why are you arguing?
当个傻瓜多幸福 Aha! But if I didn't pay, why are you arguing?
当个傻瓜多幸福
Aha! Got you!
多幸福
-No, you haven't. -Yes, I have.
If you're arguing, I must have paid.
Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.
在街上一瘸一拐 Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.
在街上一瘸一拐
-Oh, I've had enough of this! -No, you haven't!
Yes, I have!
对遇到的人微笑 Yes, I have!
对遇到的人微笑
-No, you haven't... -Yes, I have...
♪ I've got two legs from my hips to the ground ♪
突然一个冰激凌 ♪ I've got two legs from my hips to the ground ♪
♪ And when I lift them they walk around ♪
把我的梦打碎了 ♪ And when I lift them they walk around ♪
Fi fa fo fum ♪ And when I lift them they walk around ♪
Fi fa fo fum
♪ And when I lift them they climb the stairs ♪
我闻到了精神病院的血腥 ♪ And when I lift them they climb the stairs ♪
我闻到了精神病院的血腥
♪ And when I shave them they ain't got hairs ♪
嘿你 ♪ And when I shave them they ain't got hairs ♪
你这书呆子 ♪ And when I shave them they ain't got hairs ♪
你的脑子和死蚂蚁一样多 ♪ And when I shave them they ain't got hairs ♪
你的脑子和死蚂蚁一样多
想象力如同拖车营地
可我还是爱你
还是爱你
当个傻瓜多幸福
♪ How sweet to be an idiot ♪
多幸福 ♪ How sweet to be an idiot ♪
多幸福
♪ As harmless as a cloud ♪
多幸福 ♪ As harmless as a cloud ♪
多幸福
♪ Too small to hide the sun ♪
♪ Almost poking fun ♪
♪ At the warm but insecure untidy crowd ♪
♪ How sweet to be an idiot ♪
♪ And dip my brain in joy ♪
♪ Children laughing at my back ♪
♪ With no fear of attack ♪
♪ As much retaliation as a toy ♪
♪ How sweet to be an idiot ♪
♪ How sweet ♪
♪ I tiptoe down the street ♪
♪ Smile at everyone I meet ♪
♪ But suddenly a scream ♪
♪ Smashes through my dream ♪
♪ Fee-fi-fo-fum ♪
♪ I smell blood of an asylum ♪
♪ Hey you You're such a pedant ♪
♪ You've got as much brain ♪ as a dead ant ♪
- 早安. - 哦, 早安. ♪ You've got as much brain ♪ as a dead ant ♪
- 早安. - 哦, 早安.
♪ As much imagination as a caravan site ♪
嗯, 你是来给假日做安排 还是来口交? ♪ As much imagination as a caravan site ♪
嗯, 你是来给假日做安排 还是来口交?
♪ But I still love you ♪
♪ Still love you ♪
啥? ♪ Still love you ♪
啥?
呃, 哦, 你是来给假日做安排?
♪ How sweet to be an idiot ♪
- 啊...对. - 哦, 抱歉, 抱歉. ♪ How sweet to be an idiot ♪
- 啊...对. - 哦, 抱歉, 抱歉.
现在, 你希望去哪里?
♪ How sweet ♪
呃, 去印度.
♪ How sweet ♪
-啊, 我们的假日历险之一. - 是的, 没错. ♪ How sweet ♪
-啊, 我们的假日历险之一. - 是的, 没错.
♪ How sweet ♪
好, 请去里面见Bounder先生. ♪ How sweet ♪
呃, Bounder先生, 这位先生对"横越印度"很感兴趣 ♪ How sweet ♪
呃, Bounder先生, 这位先生对"横越印度"很感兴趣
可不是其他的.
啊. 你好, 我是冒险之Bounder.
哦, 你好. 我是Smoketoomuch.
什么?
我名字是Smoketoomuch. Smoketoomuch先生.
好, 那你可得减少一点了.
- 什么? - 那你可得减少一点了.
哦, 我懂了! 抽烟太多 所以要减少一点!
对. 哦, 大概人们总是
拿你名字开玩笑, 嗯?
不是, 实际, 以前从没有过. Smoketoomuch...
随便啦, 你对我们的假日安排之一有兴趣, 是吧?
是, 没错. 我在匪类广告上看到你们的广告.
- 什么? - 在时报的匪类广告.
啊, 时报的分类广告.
是啊, 没错.
我有点发音障碍. 我发不出字母B的音.
- 呃, C. - 对, 没错, B.
都是因为小时候在学校的心理创伤.
- 当时我被暹罗糕攻击了. - 呃,啊, 暹罗猫.
不, 暹罗糕. 它们特别凶猛.
听着...你能否发音字母K?
哦, 好啊. 卡其布, 水库, 开普林, 柯梅尼, 科罗格牌毛嗑.
-Good morning. -Oh, good morning.
好, 你何不用字母K代替字母C?
Have you come to arrange a holiday
好, 你何不用字母K代替字母C?
or would you like a blow job?
好, 你是说, 用K来发音 "blassified"?
I'm sorry?
对, 就这意思! I'm sorry?
对, 就这意思!
Oh, you've come to arrange a holiday?
- Classified! - 好! Oh, you've come to arrange a holiday?
- Classified! - 好!
-Yes. -Oh, sorry, sorry.
哦, 真好啊! 我以前没有想过. -Yes. -Oh, sorry, sorry.
Now, where were you thinking of going?
真是傻劈. Now, where were you thinking of going?
To India.
One of our adventure holidays.
现在, 嗯, 关于假日... One of our adventure holidays.
现在, 嗯, 关于假日...
Yes, that's right.
嗯, 从前我去了好多次包装店, Yes, that's right.
嗯, 从前我去了好多次包装店,
Well, you'd better see Mr. Bounder about that.
Mr. Bounder, this gentleman is interested
一眼看到了你的广告. Mr. Bounder, this gentleman is interested
好, 好, 真好, 好, 我推荐这个给你... Mr. Bounder, this gentleman is interested
好, 好, 真好, 好, 我推荐这个给你...
in the "India Overland". And nothing else.
等等, 出国有什么意义, in the "India Overland". And nothing else.
要是被像羊一样对待? in the "India Overland". And nothing else.
要是被像羊一样对待?
在臭烘烘的蠢人们包围下在大巴里被运来运去
- from Vetchy and Boventry. - 没错.
他们背着大包里面都是羊毛衫和收音机,
Hello, I'm Bounder of Adventure.
抱怨着茶要不就是不完美的事, 是不是他们? Hello, I'm Bounder of Adventure.
抱怨着茶要不就是不完美的事, 是不是他们?
Oh, hello. My name is Smoketoomuch.
What?
停在了数不尽的马略卡的鱼和薯片专卖店 What?
停在了数不尽的马略卡的鱼和薯片专卖店
My name is Smoketoomuch. Mr. Smoketoomuch.
得到了罗德尼的红桶啤酒, 鱿鱼和牙疼. My name is Smoketoomuch. Mr. Smoketoomuch.
得到了罗德尼的红桶啤酒, 鱿鱼和牙疼.
Well, you'd better cut down a little then.
坐上防晒霜, 挤出白乳膏 Well, you'd better cut down a little then.
坐上防晒霜, 挤出白乳膏
涂上他们胖乎乎的, 生的, 臃肿的, 成排的肉体,
I'm sorry?
因为他们前一天累垮了. I'm sorry?
因为他们前一天累垮了.
You'd better cut down a little then.
是是, 我知道你是什么意思! 现在, 我们提供... You'd better cut down a little then.
被赶到数不清的美丽信和贝尔维尤饭店, You'd better cut down a little then.
被赶到数不清的美丽信和贝尔维尤饭店,
Oh, I see! Smoke too much
大批进入他们的国际化 Oh, I see! Smoke too much
大批进入他们的国际化
so I'd better cut down a little then!
新式包房... - 哦, 对. so I'd better cut down a little then!
...游泳池充满了东倒西歪的啤酒肚
Yes.
a肥胖的德国商人装成杂技演员来堆成金字塔 Yes.
a肥胖的德国商人装成杂技演员来堆成金字塔
I expect you get people making
a肥胖的德国商人装成杂技演员来堆成金字塔
jokes about your name all the time, eh?
吓坏了小孩... - 哦, 对. jokes about your name all the time, eh?
吓坏了小孩... - 哦, 对.
No, actually, it never struck me before. Smoketoomuch...
...挣扎不断. No, actually, it never struck me before. Smoketoomuch...
你要是七点没到座位... - 哦, 对. No, actually, it never struck me before. Smoketoomuch...
...就会错过你那碗剧场坎贝尔奶油蘑菇汤, No, actually, it never struck me before. Smoketoomuch...
...就会错过你那碗剧场坎贝尔奶油蘑菇汤,
国际菜单上的第一道菜.
Anyway, you're interested in one of our holidays, are you?
- 肯定的. 现在我们这里有... - 每周四夜里 Anyway, you're interested in one of our holidays, are you?
酒吧都有讨厌的卡巴莱乐队 一些舞女 Anyway, you're interested in one of our holidays, are you?
酒吧都有讨厌的卡巴莱乐队 一些舞女
Yes, that's right.
酒吧都有讨厌的卡巴莱乐队 一些舞女
I saw your advert in the blassified ads.
有着九寸的裤腰 发油直往下滴 I saw your advert in the blassified ads.
有着九寸的裤腰 发油直往下滴
-The what? -In The Times Blassified Ads.
The Times Classified Ads?
扭着大屁股给老外表演弗拉明戈舞. The Times Classified Ads?
Yes, that's right.
- 请安静一下, 好吗? - 带着血淋淋的右腿和痢疾 Yes, that's right.
- 请安静一下, 好吗? - 带着血淋淋的右腿和痢疾
I'm afraid I have a speech impediment.
- 请安静一下, 好吗? - 带着血淋淋的右腿和痢疾
I can't pronounce the letter B.
- 请安静一下? - 设法抬起毛乎乎的罗圈腿, I can't pronounce the letter B.
- 请安静一下? - 设法抬起毛乎乎的罗圈腿,
-C? -Yes, that's right, B.
猛踹名叫曼努埃尔的意大利佬. - 安静! -C? -Yes, that's right, B.
猛踹名叫曼努埃尔的意大利佬. - 安静!
有一周一次短途旅行参观罗马遗迹,
It's all due to a trauma I suffered
when I was a sbhoolboy.
能买到樱桃汽水和化了的冰激凌 when I was a sbhoolboy.
能买到樱桃汽水和化了的冰激凌
I was attacked by a Siamese bat.
- 安静! - 还有罗德尼的红桶啤酒. I was attacked by a Siamese bat.
- 闭嘴! 一天夜里他们把你带去 I was attacked by a Siamese bat.
- 闭嘴! 一天夜里他们把你带去
A Siamese cat.
本地风情饭店... - 闭嘴! A Siamese cat.
本地风情饭店... - 闭嘴!
No, a Siamese bat. They're more dangerous.
...你紧挨着从Relu来的一个派对... No, a Siamese bat. They're more dangerous.
- 闭嘴! ...他们还一直唱 No, a Siamese bat. They're more dangerous.
"我爱布拉瓦海岸!" - 闭嘴!
Well, listen... can you say the letter K?
"我爱布拉瓦海岸!" 你被几个拿着傻瓜照相机的 Well, listen... can you say the letter K?
"我爱布拉瓦海岸!" 你被几个拿着傻瓜照相机的
Oh, yes. Khaki, kettle, Kipling, Khomeini, Kellogg's Born Flakes.
卢顿醉鬼水果商人 挤到角落 Oh, yes. Khaki, kettle, Kipling, Khomeini, Kellogg's Born Flakes.
上周二的每日快客... - 请你安静! Oh, yes. Khaki, kettle, Kipling, Khomeini, Kellogg's Born Flakes.
上周二的每日快客... - 请你安静!
Well, why don't you say the letter K
...他没完没了的说 现在经过什么国家 Well, why don't you say the letter K
...他没完没了的说 现在经过什么国家
instead of the letter C?
Well, you mean, pronounce "blassified" with a K?
还有Margaret Powell会说多少种语言 Well, you mean, pronounce "blassified" with a K?
还有她把自由古巴调合酒吐得到处都是. 还有五天里花了四天 Well, you mean, pronounce "blassified" with a K?
还有她把自由古巴调合酒吐得到处都是. 还有五天里花了四天
Yes, absolutely!
还有她把自由古巴调合酒吐得到处都是. 还有五天里花了四天
-Klassified! -Good!
呆在卢顿机场的路面上 酒类零售店除了干巴巴的三明治 -Klassified! -Good!
呆在卢顿机场的路面上 酒类零售店除了干巴巴的三明治
Oh, it's very good! I never thought of that before.
什么都没的可吃. - 闭嘴! 请闭嘴! Oh, it's very good! I never thought of that before.
什么都没的可吃. - 闭嘴! 请闭嘴!
连一杯罗德尼红桶啤酒都喝不到
What a silly bunt.
连一杯罗德尼红桶啤酒都喝不到
因为你还是在每次一口渴酒吧就关门的英格兰.
Now then, about the holiday...
孩子们又哭又呕吐还敲打塑料烟灰缸. Now then, about the holiday...
孩子们又哭又呕吐还敲打塑料烟灰缸.
Yes, well, I've been on package tours many times before,
他们一直告诉你不要参加下次旅行, 但是你知道居然 Yes, well, I've been on package tours many times before,
他们一直告诉你不要参加下次旅行, 但是你知道居然
so your advert really baught my eye.
你的飞机还在冰岛, 因为它要返航, so your advert really baught my eye.
你的飞机还在冰岛, 因为它要返航,
Good, good, jolly good, well what we offer is this...
要去参加一个瑞典派对... 哦, Shut up! Good, good, jolly good, well what we offer is this...
要去参加一个瑞典派对... 哦, Shut up!
You're quite right, what's the point of going abroad,
...在南斯拉夫的瑞典派对. 当然你在早晨三点 You're quite right, what's the point of going abroad,
...在南斯拉夫的瑞典派对. 当然你在早晨三点
if you're just going to be treated like a sheep?
赶往机场. 然后在机场坐了四个小时 if you're just going to be treated like a sheep?
赶往机场. 然后在机场坐了四个小时
Carted around in buses, surrounded by sweaty,
赶往机场. 然后在机场坐了四个小时
mindless oaves from Kettering and Boventry.
因为有什么意料之外的困难, 比如巴黎的 mindless oaves from Kettering and Boventry.
因为有什么意料之外的困难, 比如巴黎的
-Absolutely. -Their bloth baps
因为有什么意料之外的困难, 比如巴黎的
and their bardigans and their transistor radios,
航空管制永久性罢工. 最后等你到了马拉加机场, and their bardigans and their transistor radios,
航空管制永久性罢工. 最后等你到了马拉加机场,
bomplaining about the tea:
航空管制永久性罢工. 最后等你到了马拉加机场,
"They don't make it properly, do they?"
所有人都排队去厕所, 排队过海关, "They don't make it properly, do they?"
所有人都排队去厕所, 排队过海关,
And stopping at endless Majorcan bodegas
所有人都排队去厕所, 排队过海关,
selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel
所有人都排队去厕所, 排队过海关,
and calamaris and two veg.
排队上大巴 还不算完, 要等待载你去 and calamaris and two veg.
排队上大巴 还不算完, 要等待载你去
And sitting in their cotton sun frocks,
排队上大巴 还不算完, 要等待载你去
squirting Timothy Whites sun cream
还没建成的饭店. 等你最终到了叫做 squirting Timothy Whites sun cream
还没建成的饭店. 等你最终到了叫做
all over their puffy, raw, swollen, purulent flesh,
利马索尔饭店的工地, 你已经付了一半度假费用 all over their puffy, raw, swollen, purulent flesh,
利马索尔饭店的工地, 你已经付了一半度假费用
'cos they overdid it on the first day.
利马索尔饭店的工地, 你已经付了一半度假费用
Yes, I know just what you mean! Now, what we offer is--
给西班牙执照的出租车, 游泳池没有水, Yes, I know just what you mean! Now, what we offer is--
给西班牙执照的出租车, 游泳池没有水,
And being herded into endless Hotel Miramars and Bellevueses,
Bontinentals with their international luxury
浴室没有水, 水龙头没有水, Bontinentals with their international luxury
浴室没有水, 水龙头没有水,
-modern roomettes... -Oh, yes.
坐浴盆里有只大蜥蜴 半数房间都被重复预定, -modern roomettes... -Oh, yes.
坐浴盆里有只大蜥蜴 半数房间都被重复预定,
...and swimming pools full of draught Red Barrel
坐浴盆里有只大蜥蜴 半数房间都被重复预定,
and fat German businessmen,
你怎么都睡不着, 因为饭店旁边就是丛林 and fat German businessmen,
你怎么都睡不着, 因为饭店旁边就是丛林
pretending to be acrobats and forming pyramids
你怎么都睡不着, 因为饭店旁边就是丛林
and frightening the children and barging into the queues.
同时, 西班牙国家旅行委员会 and frightening the children and barging into the queues.
同时, 西班牙国家旅行委员会
And if you're not at your table spot on seven,
you miss your bowl of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup,
保证西班牙康布雷严重的霍乱流行 不过是轻微失控, you miss your bowl of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup,
保证西班牙康布雷严重的霍乱流行 不过是轻微失控,
the first item in the menu of International Cuisine.
上次像这样的失控 在1616年把老鼠都灭绝了! the first item in the menu of International Cuisine.
上次像这样的失控 在1616年把老鼠都灭绝了!
Absolutely. Now--
上次像这样的失控 在1616年把老鼠都灭绝了!
Every Thursday night there's bloody cabaret in the bar
featuring some tiny, emaciated dago with nine-inch hips
早在十四世纪末, 或者就是十四世纪, featuring some tiny, emaciated dago with nine-inch hips
早在十四世纪末, 或者就是十四世纪,
and some fat, bloated tart with her hair Brylcreemed down
早在十四世纪末, 或者就是十四世纪,
and big ass, presenting Flamenco for Foreigners.
早在十四世纪末, 或者就是十四世纪,
Will you be quiet, please?
最早期喜剧形式... Will you be quiet, please?
最早期喜剧形式...
And adenoidal typists from Birmingham
最早期喜剧形式...
-with flabby white legs... -Will you be quiet?
同时, 混蛋警卫逮捕了16岁大的孩子就因为他们在街上亲吻 -with flabby white legs... -Will you be quiet?
同时, 混蛋警卫逮捕了16岁大的孩子就因为他们在街上亲吻
...and diarrhea, trying to pick up hairy,
同时, 混蛋警卫逮捕了16岁大的孩子就因为他们在街上亲吻
bandy-legged, wop waiters
-called Manuel. -Be quiet!
And once a week there's an excursion
大家都在买有自己名字的可怕小驴, And once a week there's an excursion
大家都在买有自己名字的可怕小驴,
to local Roman remains, where you can buy Cherryade
大家都在买有自己名字的可怕小驴,
-and melted ice cream... -Will you be quiet?
...and bleedin' Watney's Red Barrel.
-Shut up! -And one night they take you
我能告诉你...- 当你终于到了曼切斯特, -Shut up! -And one night they take you
我能告诉你...- 当你终于到了曼切斯特,
to a typical restaurant with local...
我能告诉你...- 当你终于到了曼切斯特,
-Shut up! -...atmosphere and color,
我能告诉你...- 当你终于到了曼切斯特,
-and you sit next to a... -Shut up!
...party of people from Rhyl who keep singing:
I love the Costa Brava!
Shut up!
I love the Costa Brava!
And you get cornered by some drunken greengrocer from Luton
还有一辆破大巴还要载你60英里... And you get cornered by some drunken greengrocer from Luton
还有一辆破大巴还要载你60英里...
with an Instamatic camera and last Tuesday's Daily Express...
Please be quiet! This is the last time...
...and he drones on and on and on about how Ian Smith
早在十四世纪末, 或者就是十四世纪, ...and he drones on and on and on about how Ian Smith
早在十四世纪末, 或者就是十四世纪,
should be running the country
早在十四世纪末, 或者就是十四世纪,
and how many languages Margaret Powell can speak,
早在十四世纪末, 或者就是十四世纪,
and then she throws up all over the cuba libres.
早在十四世纪末, 或者就是十四世纪,
And spending four days on the tarmac at Luton Airport
最早期喜剧形式 分为两类 And spending four days on the tarmac at Luton Airport
最早期喜剧形式 分为两类
on a five-day package tour
我现在就来分析它们. 早期的基本简单摔倒喜剧 on a five-day package tour
我现在就来分析它们. 早期的基本简单摔倒喜剧
with nothing to eat but dry British Airways-type sandwiches.
我现在就来分析它们. 早期的基本简单摔倒喜剧
Shut up! Please shut up!
被引发的方式, 可以从示范中看到, Shut up! Please shut up!
被引发的方式, 可以从示范中看到,
You can't even get a glass of Watney's Red Barrel
被引发的方式, 可以从示范中看到,
because you're still in England and the bloody bar closes
被引发的方式, 可以从示范中看到,
every time you're thirsty.
表演者部分的不相称内部责任. every time you're thirsty.
表演者部分的不相称内部责任.
And the kids are crying and vomiting
表演者部分的不相称内部责任.
and breaking the plastic ashtrays.
表演者部分的不相称内部责任.
They keep telling you it'll only be another hour,
but you know damn well your plane is still in Iceland,
and has to come back and take a party of...
-Shut up! -...take a party of Swedes
to Yugoslavia,
before it can load you up at 3 a.m. in the morning.
And then you sit on the tarmac for four hours
because of unforeseen difficulties,
i.e. the permanent strike of air traffic control over Paris.
When you finally get to Malaga airport,
第二类摔倒发生在 主角和受害人在室内情况下. When you finally get to Malaga airport,
第二类摔倒发生在 主角和受害人在室内情况下.
everybody's queueing for the bloody toilet,
第二类摔倒发生在 主角和受害人在室内情况下.
and queuing for the bloody armed customs officers,
第二类摔倒发生在 主角和受害人在室内情况下.
and queuing for the bloody bus that isn't there,
可是, 这加入了 and queuing for the bloody bus that isn't there,
可是, 这加入了
waiting to take you to the hotel that hasn't yet been built.
工具部分的发展. 不过也仅此为止 waiting to take you to the hotel that hasn't yet been built.
工具部分的发展. 不过也仅此为止
When you finally get to the half-built Algerian ruin
不比主要的摔倒多出其他变化.
called the Hotel del Sol,
不比主要的摔倒多出其他变化.
by paying half your holiday money
to a licensed bandit in a taxi,
there's no water in the pool, there's no water in the bog,
there's no water in the tap,
there's only a bleeding lizard in the bidet,
and half the rooms are double-booked,
and you can't sleep anyway,
'cause of the permanent 24-hour drilling
of the foundations of the hotel next door.
Meanwhile, the Spanish National Tourist Board
promises you the raging cholera epidemic
is merely a mild outbreak of Spanish Tummy,
非洲大陆的开放 为幽默的剥削 is merely a mild outbreak of Spanish Tummy,
非洲大陆的开放 为幽默的剥削
rather like the previous outbreak in 1616
非洲大陆的开放 为幽默的剥削
even the bloody rats are dying from it!
展现了广袤的新资源. 我们来看看基本的摔倒喜剧 even the bloody rats are dying from it!
展现了广袤的新资源. 我们来看看基本的摔倒喜剧
As early as the late 14th century,
如何适应. As early as the late 14th century,
如何适应.
or indeed as late as the early 14th century,
the earliest forms of jape were divisible in--
Meanwhile, the bloody Guardia are busy arresting 16-year-olds
for kissing in the streets.
And finally, on the last day in the airport lounge,
everybody's buying little awful horrid donkeys
with their names on,
and bullfight posters with their own names on,
like Antonio--
Mr. Brian Pules of Norwich.
And then finally, when you get to bloody Luton,
you're kept around for another four hours,
while they find a plane that can take you back to Manchester.
And when you finally get to Manchester,
there's only another bloody bus you have to wait 16 hours for...
As early as the late 14th century
我们现在继续考虑... As early as the late 14th century
or indeed as late as the early 14th century,
the earliest forms of jape
were divisible into the two categories
into which I now intend to divide them.
The earliest manifestation
of the basic, simple precipitation jest
incurred, as will be seen from the demonstration,
a disproportionate amount of internal risibility
on the part of the operator.
我们现在继续考虑 更加复杂的传递性摔倒喜剧
我们将会观察到, 加害者和受害者完全没有注意到
自己行为暗示的幽默感.
Secondary precipitation occurs
when both protagonist and dupe are located indoors.
It is true, however, that this has involved
首先...首先我们看 It is true, however, that this has involved
首先...首先我们看
the development of a special piece of machinery.
简单侧撞或者"wop." the development of a special piece of machinery.
简单侧撞或者"wop."
But it is still no more than a simple variation
嘿, 万斯! But it is still no more than a simple variation
嘿, 万斯!
of primary precipitation.
下一个, "侧撞再回头."
嘿, 万斯!
The opening up of the African continent
现在, "双侧撞再回头." The opening up of the African continent
现在, "双侧撞再回头."
revealed a vast new source of wealth
现在, "双侧撞再回头."
for humorous exploitation.
We are to see demonstrated
how this was adapted to the basic precipitation jape.
嘿, 万斯! how this was adapted to the basic precipitation jape.
这种喜剧的流行程度始终还是不能与
有效食品投掷的内涵相比较.
首先...首先是简单直接的 "进攻式."
We now come on to a considera--
然后...然后是简单的 "侧向进攻式."
下一个, 简单的"突然进攻式."
We now come on to a consideration
of the more sophisticated transitive mode of japing,
in which, as you will observe,
the operator or inceptor remains totally unaware
of the humorous implications of his action.
现在, "下流派."
First, we are to see the "simple sideswipe" or "whop."
Hey, Vance!
呃, 再来点新派, 谢谢?
Next, the "sideswipe and return."
Hey, Vance!
最后, 我们继续说到最有趣
And now, the "double sideswipe and return."
但是流传不广的变种, 一般称为 "三段混合式." And now, the "double sideswipe and return."
但是流传不广的变种, 一般称为 "三段混合式."
Hey, Vance!
但是...但是最后我们不要忘记欢乐, 满足,
Popular as this jest has always been, however,
但是...但是最后我们不要忘记欢乐, 满足,
it cannot compare with the ribald connotations
和熏陶都源于简单直接的 it cannot compare with the ribald connotations
和熏陶都源于简单直接的
associated with the dispatch of an edible missile.
"侧向完全意外式."
First...
First the simple straightforward "offensive deposit."
曾经在黑暗森林中有一个小房屋. First the simple straightforward "offensive deposit."
曾经在黑暗森林中有一个小房屋.
屋子里住着卑微的樵夫夫妇
和他们可爱的小女儿, 小红帽.
Second...
Second, the simple "sideways offensive deposit."
在黑暗森林深处, 有一只凶恶的狼!
Next, the simple "surprise deposit."
有一天, 小红帽出门去给她的老奶奶送些东西
给她住在林中的老奶奶送些东西.
And now, the "foul pie."
恶狼看到了小红帽
想: "她看起来很好吃!"
Could we have new pies, please?
"你去哪里呀, 小萝莉?" Could we have new pies, please?
"你去哪里呀, 小萝莉?"
"哦, 好先生, 去我奶奶家."
"哈, 哈, 哈, 哈!" 恶狼猥琐的笑着
a冲过树林来到了奶奶的房子.
"敲, 敲, 敲" 恶狼在敲门.
门打开了, 但是打开门的不是奶奶.
Finally...
门打开了, 但是打开门的不是奶奶.
Finally we move on to the interesting,
是巴兹·奥尔德林, 美国第二NB的太空人! Finally we move on to the interesting,
是巴兹·奥尔德林, 美国第二NB的太空人!
but little-known variant,
是巴兹·奥尔德林, 美国第二NB的太空人!
nominally designated the "three-course complex."
原来这里根本不是奶奶的房子, 是太空总署总部,
美国的空间研究机构.
恶狼被保安击中.
森林又恢复了平静. 樵夫夫妇把故事
But... but finally, we must not forget
四万马克卖给了明镜周刊. But... but finally, we must not forget
四万马克卖给了明镜周刊.
the enjoyment, the satisfaction,
太空总署同意对奶奶小屋处的核武器测试次数 the enjoyment, the satisfaction,
太空总署同意对奶奶小屋处的核武器测试次数
and the edification to be derived
太空总署同意对奶奶小屋处的核武器测试次数
from the simple, straightforward
限制为周四两次 周六茶点之后再一次. from the simple, straightforward
限制为周四两次 周六茶点之后再一次.
"sideways completely unexpected deposit."
自由派废话!
你配什么吃你的罐头鱼, 克劳斯?
Once upon a time, there was a little house in a dark forest.
什么, 我的大屁股李子? Once upon a time, there was a little house in a dark forest.
你配什么吃你的罐头鱼, 你个穿衣服的饭桶? Once upon a time, there was a little house in a dark forest.
你配什么吃你的罐头鱼, 你个穿衣服的饭桶?
In this house lived a humble woodcutter and his wife
- 比目鱼! - 这罐头鱼就是比目鱼!
可以了. 有什么不是罐头的鱼?
and their pretty daughter, Little Red Riding Hood.
可以了. 有什么不是罐头的鱼?
- 呃, 兔子. - 啥, 兔子鱼?
- 这是长着毛的. - 好, 死了的?
那个, 它昨晚还在吐血.
And in the middle of this deep, dark forest,
可以了, 我就吃这个, 不是罐头的兔子鱼. And in the middle of this deep, dark forest,
可以了, 我就吃这个, 不是罐头的兔子鱼.
there lived a vicious wolf!
糟糕啊!
哦, 你总是抱怨.
- 下一道菜是什么? - 好, 老鼠派, 老鼠布丁,
One day, Little Red Riding Hood set off to take some things
- 下一道菜是什么? - 好, 老鼠派, 老鼠布丁,
to her old grandmother who lived deep in the forest.
老鼠糕或者, 呃, 草莓馅饼. - 草莓馅饼? to her old grandmother who lived deep in the forest.
老鼠糕或者, 呃, 草莓馅饼. - 草莓馅饼?
- 好, 呃, 里面也有几只老鼠. - 几只?
六只. 真是不少.
我想要老鼠少点的那一块.
The vicious wolf saw Little Red Riding Hood
and thought: "She looks very good to eat!"
糟糕啊!
"Where are you going, my pretty one?"
"抱怨, 抱怨, 抱怨!" "Where are you going, my pretty one?"
- 你好, 妈妈! 你好, 爸爸! - 你好, 儿子!
"Oh, kind sir, to my grandmother's."
村里有个死主教! "Oh, kind sir, to my grandmother's."
村里有个死主教!
"Ha, ha, ha, ha!" smirked the wicked wolf
- 他...他哪来的? - 你什么意思? "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" smirked the wicked wolf
- 他...他哪来的? - 你什么意思?
and dashed off through the forest to grandmother's house.
他的教区是哪? and dashed off through the forest to grandmother's house.
好, 我看他有点坎特伯雷. and dashed off through the forest to grandmother's house.
好, 我看他有点坎特伯雷.
我过去看看.
"Knock, knock, knock," went the wicked wolf.
- 我知道什么把他们引来的. - 好, 不是我. "Knock, knock, knock," went the wicked wolf.
上周我摆了三个在垃圾桶旁边 收垃圾的都不愿意碰. "Knock, knock, knock," went the wicked wolf.
上周我摆了三个在垃圾桶旁边 收垃圾的都不愿意碰.
The door opened wide,
上周我摆了三个在垃圾桶旁边 收垃圾的都不愿意碰.
but it wasn't Grandmother who opened it.
It was Buzz Aldrin, America's number two spaceman!
- 是莱斯特的主教! - 你怎么知道? It was Buzz Aldrin, America's number two spaceman!
他脖子后面有纹身! 我们还是叫警察吧! It was Buzz Aldrin, America's number two spaceman!
他脖子后面有纹身! 我们还是叫警察吧!
For this was not Granny's little house at all,
给教堂打电话吗? For this was not Granny's little house at all,
给教堂打电话吗?
but the headquarters of NASA,
- 找教堂警察! - 好主意! 教堂警察! but the headquarters of NASA,
- 找教堂警察! - 好主意! 教堂警察!
the American space research agency.
- 找教堂警察! - 好主意! 教堂警察!
The wicked wolf was shot by security guards.
你好!
So all was quiet in the forest again.
The humble woodcutter and his wife
sold the their story to Der Spiegel
for 40,000 Deutsche Marks.
NASA agreed to limit the number of nuclear tests
in Granny's little house
这里怎么了? 阿门! in Granny's little house
这里怎么了? 阿门!
to two on Thursdays and one on Saturdays after tea.
- 你们是教堂警察? - 哦, 是的! to two on Thursdays and one on Saturdays after tea.
- 你们是教堂警察? - 哦, 是的!
村里有多了个死主教, 警官!
帕尔森侦探, 女士! 他是谁? R.C. or C.V.?
Liberal rubbish!
帕尔森侦探, 女士! 他是谁? R.C. or C.V.?
What do you want with your jugged fish, Klaus?
- 我怎么能知道? - 后脖子有纹身! What do you want with your jugged fish, Klaus?
- 我怎么能知道? - 后脖子有纹身!
Pardon, my wide-thighed plum?
这个, 是老鼠馅饼? Pardon, my wide-thighed plum?
这个, 是老鼠馅饼?
What do you want with your jugged fish,
这个, 是老鼠馅饼?
you cloth-eared git?
Halibut!
The jugged fish is halibut!
哦, 呃, 是. The jugged fish is halibut!
哦, 呃, 是.
All right. Well, what fish do you have that is not jugged?
恶心! 对了, 大家! 追猎开始! 让我们跪下祈祷! All right. Well, what fish do you have that is not jugged?
恶心! 对了, 大家! 追猎开始! 让我们跪下祈祷!
Rabbit.
What, rabbit fish?
哦, 主啊! What, rabbit fish?
哦, 主啊, 我们祈求于你. 让我们知道, 谁杀死了莱斯特主教. What, rabbit fish?
哦, 主啊, 我们祈求于你. 让我们知道, 谁杀死了莱斯特主教.
Well, it's all covered in fur.
哦, 主啊, 我们祈求于你. 让我们知道, 谁杀死了莱斯特主教.
Well, is it dead?
哦, 主啊, 我们祈求于你. 让我们知道, 谁杀死了莱斯特主教.
Well, it was coughing up blood last night.
All right, I'll have the dead, unjugged rabbit fish.
Appalling!
Oh, you're always complaining.
穿吊带的人, 他干的. Oh, you're always complaining.
穿吊带的人, 他干的.
What's for afterwards?
穿吊带的人, 他干的.
Well, there's rat pie,
rat pudding, rat sorbet or... strawberry tart.
这是个好警察, 但是交友不慎. rat pudding, rat sorbet or... strawberry tart.
这是个好警察, 但是交友不慎.
Strawberry tart?
那好, 我们就把其他人都抓起来! Strawberry tart?
那好, 我们就把其他人都抓起来!
Well, it's got some rat in it.
继续, 你! 你是他朋友? 你是他朋友? Well, it's got some rat in it.
继续, 你! 你是他朋友? 你是他朋友?
How much?
吼, 吼, 吼, 吼... How much?
Six. Rather a lot really.
好了, 我们喜欢以圣歌作为逮捕的结束. Six. Rather a lot really.
所有事物光辉美丽, 无论贵贱上下. Six. Rather a lot really.
所有事物光辉美丽, 无论贵贱上下.
I'll have a slice without so much rat in it.
所有事物光辉美丽, 无论贵贱上下.
所有事物光辉美丽...
我一直不想出演这么个笨拙小品.
Appalling!
我一直不想出演这么个笨拙小品.
"Moan, moan, moan!"
-Hello, mum! Hello, dad! -Hello, son!
我从小就想当...一个樵夫! -Hello, mum! Hello, dad! -Hello, son!
我从小就想当...一个樵夫!
There's a dead bishop on the landing!
Where... where's he from?
-What do you mean? -What's his diocese?
Well, he looked a bit Canterburyish to me.
从一棵树跳到另一棵... Well, he looked a bit Canterburyish to me.
从一棵树跳到另一棵...
I'll go and have a look.
I dunno who keeps bringing them in here.
它们沿着壮美的卑诗河顺流而下! I dunno who keeps bringing them in here.
它们沿着壮美的卑诗河顺流而下!
Well, it's not me.
它们沿着壮美的卑诗河顺流而下!
I put three out by the trashcans last week
and the garbage men won't touch 'em.
落叶松...红木... and the garbage men won't touch 'em.
落叶松...红木...
It's the Bishop of Leicester!
落叶松...红木...
How do you know?
巨大的红杉... 身边有心爱的软妹! How do you know?
巨大的红杉... 身边有心爱的软妹!
Tattooed on the back of his neck!
巨大的红杉... 身边有心爱的软妹!
I think I'd better call the police!
-Shouldn't you call the church? -Call the Church Police!
高大的朽木, 云杉 -Shouldn't you call the church? -Call the Church Police!
高大的朽木, 云杉
That's a good idea! The Church Police!
...加州小根树 ! That's a good idea! The Church Police!
...加州小根树 !
'Allo, 'allo, 'allo!
What's all this then? Amen!
-Are you the Church Police? -Oh, yes!
There's another dead bishop on the landing, Vicar-Sergeant!
Detective Parson, madam! What is he? R.C. or C. of E.?
How should I know?
Tattooed on the back of their neck!
Here, is that rat tart?
Yes.
Disgusting! Right, men!
The hunt is on. Let us kneel in prayer.
Oh, Lord...
Oh, Lord, we beseech thee,
tell us who croaked the Bishop of Leicester.
The one in the braces, he done it.
It's a fair cop, but society is to blame.
Right, we'll arrest them instead!
Come on, you!
Are you in society? Are you in society?
♪ All things bright and beautiful-- ♪
Right, we'd like to conclude this arrest with a hymn.
♪ All things bright and beautiful ♪
♪ All creatures great and small ♪
♪ All things wise and wonderful... ♪
I never wanted to be in such a shambolic sketch.
I always wanted...
to be a lumberjack!
Leaping from tree to tree...
as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia!
The larch! The redwood! The mighty sequoia!
With my best girl by my side!
The giant deadwood! The spruce!
The little Californian root tree!
我们唱, 唱, 唱! We'd sing, sing, sing!
我是樵夫我很棒, 每晚饱睡每天猛干. ♪ I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK ♪
我是樵夫我很棒, 每晚饱睡每天猛干.
♪ I sleep all night and I work all day ♪
他是樵夫他很棒, 每晚饱睡每天猛干.
♪ He's a lumberjack and he's OK ♪
他是樵夫他很棒, 每晚饱睡每天猛干.
♪ He sleeps all night and he works all day ♪
我砍树, 我吃饭, 我去厕所. ♪ I cut down trees I eat my lunch ♪
我砍树, 我吃饭, 我去厕所.
♪ I go to the lavatory ♪
我砍树, 我吃饭, 我去厕所.
周三我去买吃的, 配着面包来喝茶. ♪ On Wednesdays I go shopping ♪
周三我去买吃的, 配着面包来喝茶.
♪ and have buttered scones for tea ♪
他砍树, 他吃饭, 他去厕所.
♪ He cuts down trees he eats his lunch ♪
他砍树, 他吃饭, 他去厕所.
♪ He goes to the lavatory ♪
周三他去买吃的, 配着面包来喝茶. ♪ On Wednesdays he goes shopping ♪
周三他去买吃的, 配着面包来喝茶.
♪ And has buttered scones for tea ♪
我是樵夫我很棒, 每晚饱睡每天猛干.
♪ I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK ♪
我是樵夫我很棒, 每晚饱睡每天猛干.
♪ I sleep all night and I work all day ♪
我砍树, 我蹦跳, 我采花.
♪ I cut down trees I skip and jump ♪
我砍树, 我蹦跳, 我采花.
♪ I like to press wild flowers ♪
♪ I put on women's clothing ♪
我穿女装, 勾搭在酒吧. ♪ I put on women's clothing ♪
我穿女装, 勾搭在酒吧.
♪ And hang around in bars ♪
他砍树, 他蹦跳, 他采花.
♪ He cuts down trees he skips and jumps ♪
他砍树, 他蹦跳, 他采花.
♪ He likes to press wild flowers ♪
他穿女装 然后在酒吧浪?
♪ He puts on women's clothing ♪
他穿女装 然后在酒吧浪?
♪ And hangs around in bars? ♪
我是樵夫我很棒, 每晚饱睡每天猛干 . ♪ I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK ♪
我是樵夫我很棒, 每晚饱睡每天猛干 .
♪ I sleep all night and I work all day ♪
我砍树, 我穿高跟, 吊袜和胸罩.
♪ I cut down trees I wear high heels ♪
我砍树, 我穿高跟, 吊袜和胸罩.
♪ Suspenders and a bra ♪
我希望我是个小妞, 就像我亲爱的老爸.
♪ I wish I'd been a girlie ♪
我希望我是个小妞, 就像我亲爱的老爸.
♪ Just like my dear papa ♪
他砍树, 他穿高跟, 吊袜和胸罩?
♪ He cuts down trees he wears high heels ♪
他砍树, 他穿高跟, 吊袜和胸罩?
♪ Suspenders and a bra? ♪
这什么他妈的 玻璃基佬阿部高和... What kind of goddam pervert are you, you lousy commie?
这什么他妈的 玻璃基佬阿部高和...
Fairy faggot!
我是樵夫我很棒, 每晚饱睡每天猛干. ♪ I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK ♪
我是樵夫我很棒, 每晚饱睡每天猛干.
♪ I sleep all night and I work all day ♪
我是樵夫我很棒——
♪ I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK... ♪