每個人都問我為什麼做事要從尾開始直到開頭. Everybody asks why I started at the end and worked back to the beginning.
原因很簡單. The reason is simple.
我要到結束的時候才能理解事情的開頭. I couldn 't understand the beginning until I had reached the end.
有太多塊拼圖不見了. There were too many pieces of the puzzle missing.
太多了,以至於她都無法數清. Too much she would never tell.
我本可以賣了這些東西 人們想要買它們. I could sell these things. People want to buy them.
但是我把這些都燒了. But I'd set all this on fire first.
她會喜歡這樣的. 那也是她所希望做的. She 'd like that. That's what she would do.
她做這些只是為了燒掉. She 'd make it just to burn it.
我無法承擔這個. 但是這個開頭值得一些特殊的東西. I couldn 't afford this one, but the beginning deserved something special.
但我要怎麼表達, 這不是一種味道... But how do I show that nothing, not a taste...
...不是一種氣味,甚至也不是天空的色彩... ...not a smell, not even the color of the sky...
...它一直都是那麼清晰,那麼明顯, 就像我以前屬於她的時候一樣... ...has ever been as clear and sharp as it was when I belonged to her.
我不知道如何表達 與那麼危險的人在一起的感覺... I don 't know how to express that being with someone so dangerous...
...那是我最後一次感覺到安全 ... was the last time that I felt safe.
那個秋天, 從沙漠來的熱空氣影響著Santa Anas市 The Santa Anas blew in hot from the desert that fall.
只有夾竹桃依然旺盛地生長。 Only the oleanders thrived.
也許這熱風是我媽媽做這一切的原因。 Maybe the wind was the reason my mother did what she did.
如果真的是這樣，我永遠也不會知道， 我一直都生活在她的陰影之下。 If it was, I wouldn 't have known. I lived in her shadow then.
她是我所見過得最美麗的女人。 She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.
每個人從小時候都這樣想... Everybody thinks that when they're small...
...但是她是大多數人所見過最美的女人。 ...but she was the most beautiful woman most people had ever seen.
毫無預兆的， 他闖進了我們的生活。 He came into our lives without warning.
媽媽剛開始並沒有注意到他。 那個男人不是她所喜歡的類型。 She ignored him at first. He wasn 't her type.
我們一直取笑他， 取笑他的執著。 We laughed about him, his persistence.
「永遠不要和一個男人過夜「， 她說。從來沒有道歉，沒有解釋。 ""Never let a man spend the night, "" she said. Never apologize, never explain.
她違背了她所有的規則。 而那將改變一切。 She was breaking all her rules. And it would change everything.
你在這上面幹嘛？ What are you doing up here?
過來，坐在我邊上。 Come sit next to me.
這是感受風的最好的地方。 It' s the best place to feel the wind.
我在這可以感覺到。 I can feel it from here.
不，你不能。 No, you can't.
好吧。 It' s okay.
你該去睡一下覺。 You should get some sleep.
我從不睡覺。 我已經在這上面呆了好幾個小時了。 I never sleep. I've been up here for hours.
我有了最奇妙的想法， 關於如何在Newport展覽上運用我的人造偏光板。 I had the most amazing idea for how to use my Polaroids in the Newport show.
我今天不想工作了。 直到我完成它。 I'm gonna skip work today. Keep going until I finish.
家長會你還是要來的， 是嗎？ You're still coming to parents' night, aren't you?.
噢，天哪，我都忘了。 Oh, God, I forgot.
我已經計劃好去參加Greta的開張了。 I made plans to go to Greta's opening.
其他的家長都會去的。 AII the other parents go.
難道他們還能告訴我關於你我所不知道的事嗎？ What can they tell me about you that I don't already know?.
時間到了！放下筆， 請交卷。 謝謝。 Time's up! Pencils down. Papers, please. Thank you.
謝謝。時間到了，Astrid。 Thank you. Time, Astrid.
謝謝。 Thank you.
你母親今晚會來嗎？ Is your mother coming tonight?.
不。她有其他安排了。 No. She has other plans.
比家長會都更重要嗎？ More important than parents' night?.
她是一個藝術家。 她對家長會這類事不關心的。 She's an artist. She doesn't care about things Iike parents' night.
好吧。 你們別忘了， 明天測驗17和18章。 Right. And don't forget, you guys, chapters 1 7 and 1 8 for tomorrow.
我的照片完成了。 Finished my mug shots.
你認為怎麼樣？ What do you think?.
真棒。 They're great.
不。你沒有在看。 No. You're not Iooking.
如果你不看，你就不可能成為一名藝術家。 你為什麼認為它們很棒？ You can't be an artist if you don't see. Why do you think they're great?.
我不知道。 I don't know.
他們很寂寞。 They're Ionely.
這中間是我。 It's me in the center.
這是我們之間的秘密。 不要告訴別人。 It's our secret. You can't tell anybody.
我不會的。 我永遠不會說出我們的秘密。 I won't. I never tell our secrets.
這看起來像燈光下的小鹿。 很歡鬧。 It's the deer-in-the-headlights Iook. Hilarious.
-這已經有多久了？ -幾個月。 -How Iong has this been going on?. -Couple months.
-他妻子會知道的。 -她是個白癡。 -His wife's gonna figure it out. -She's an idiot.
影景公司。 Cinema Scene.
又是Barry Kolker。 It's Barry Kolker again.
告訴他我在爬喜馬拉雅山的時候死了。 Tell him I was killed in a climbing accident in the Himalayas.
Barry， 她還沒回城裡。 Barry, she's still out of town.
我們一個雞蛋都沒了。 We don't have any eggs.
我們從來就沒有買過雞蛋。 We never have any eggs.
Barry可以帶我們出去吃早餐。 Barry can take us out to breakfast.
Barry 和你過夜了？ Barry spent the night?.
是的。 Yeah.
請讓一下。 Excuse me.
我打賭他還沒回城裡。 I bet he's still out of town.
我給雜誌社打了電話了。 他三天前就回來了。 I called the magazine. He got back three days ago.
他可能在工作。 沒空打電話。 He's probably working. He doesn't call then.
他沒打電話， 因為他從別人那裡得到了想要的東西。 He doesn't call when he's getting what he wants from somebody else.
我認為你不該這樣做。 I don't think you should do this.
他會生氣的。 He'II get mad.
-我只是說我們以前是鄰居。 -他不會相信我們的。 -I'II just say we were in the neighborhood. -He won't believe us.
你不是我喜歡的類型。 You're not my type.
怎麼了？ What happened?.
他已經約了人了。 He has a date.
他和我做愛， 然後對我說我該走了... He made Iove to me and then said I had to Ieave...
...因為他已經約了人。 ...because he has a date.
-不！別碰我。 -把她帶出去！ -No! Get away from me. -Get her out!
-你沒有權利！ -你已經被逮捕了... -You have no right! -You're under arrest...
-...因為謀殺Barry Kolker. -他們不能拘留我！ -...for the murder of Barry Kolker. -They can't keep me!
我會在一小時內回來的！ I'II be back in an hour!
你一定就是Astrid？我是兒童服務中心的Martinez， 我是來接你的。 You must be Astrid?. I'm Miss Martinez from Children's Services to pick you up.
如果你需要多一點時間， 我可以等你15分鐘，不過不能再多了。 If you need more time, I can give you 1 5 minutes, but that's it.
我不要走。我要等我媽媽回家。 I'm not going. I'm waiting for my mother to come home.
你母親不會回家了。 至少最近不會。 Your mother won't be coming home. At Ieast not for a while.
-有人對判決有異議嗎？ --any legal cause why sentence of judgment should not now be imposed?
那麼，根據加州法律... Therefore, in accordance with the Iaws of California...
...我宣判你犯有謀殺罪。 ...I sentence you to the term prescribed by Iaw for murder.
你將在最高安全監獄裡服刑至少35年。 Not Iess than 35 years to Iife in a maximum-security prison.
-嗨！ -你好，Starr。最近好嗎？ -Hey! -Hello, Starr. How are you?.
很好，你呢？ Well, I'm fine! How are you?.
-見到你真好。 -我也是。 -Good to see you. -You too.
你們一定都餓了。 希望你們會喜歡橄欖油麵包。 Y'all must be starving. I hope you Iike olive Ioaf.
-我做得足夠供應一支軍隊了。 -Astrid？ -I made enough to feed an army. -Astrid?.
-路上怎麼樣？ -市區裡很糟糕... -How was traffic?. -Bad downtown...
-...但是很快就順暢了。 -噢，不錯。 -...but it cleared up pretty fast. -Oh, good.
來，Astrid Magnussen， 這是Starr Thomas。 There you go. Astrid Magnussen, this is Starr Thomas.
很高興見到你， Astrid。 It is so nice to meet you, Astrid.
進來吧！往這，我幫你拿那個吧。 路途很長吧？ Come on in! Here, Iet me help you with that. Was it a Iong drive?.
-是的。 -是麼？ -Yeah. -Yeah?.
希望你沒有帶太多東西。 你和我女兒住同一個房間。 I hope you didn't bring a ton of stuff. You'II share a room with my daughter.
這就是我們的家。 這是招待客人的地方。 This is our home. This is where we have company.
這裡面是廚房 和裝飾櫃。 Then in here is the kitchen and whatnot.
男孩們在這裡睡覺。 我們的臥室不夠。 The boys sleep here. We don't have enough bedrooms.
帶著眼鏡的是Davey，這是Owen。 That's Davey in the glasses, and Owen.
這是Astrid。 孩子們， 說你好？ This is Astrid. Boys, you say hi?.
Carolee？我說過了，這時候不要在這。 Carolee?. I said, get out here right now.
我們進去吧。 Let's just go in there.
這是Carolee， 我的女兒。 This is Carolee, my daughter.
清理出一些空間，好嗎？ Make some room, okay?.
這是你睡覺的地方。 她會整理好，別擔心。 This is where you'II sleep. She'II clean up. Don't worry.
別理她，她在青春期。 問題是她還沒有洗禮。 Just don't mind her. She's hormonal. The problem is she hasn't been saved.
你呢？ What about you?.
什麼？ What?.
你接受上帝當你的救助者嗎？ Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?.
我不知道。 I don't know.
當你知道了，他會等你著，好嗎？ When you do, he'II be waiting. Okay?.
這裡是Ray和我睡的地方， 浴室在這。 This is where Ray and I sleep, and the bathroom's here.
讓我們回到這裡。 Let's go back in here.
Ray今晚要遲點回來，今晚他們打牌。 別和他談論耶穌。 Ray's home Iate tonight. It's poker night. Don't talk to him about Jesus.
他看起來像個舊貨商什麼的， 而不像個木匠。 He acts Iike he's the repo man or something, not a carpenter Iike him.
你一定是新來的。 You must be the new addition.
我是 Ray. I'm Ray.
你也可以叫我Ray叔叔， 但那是Starr的主意。 Or Uncle Ray, but that's Starr's idea.
不是我的。 Not mine.
我是Astrid。 I'm Astrid.
很高興見到你，Astrid。 It's nice to meet you, Astrid.
你進來嗎？ You coming in?.
怎麼了？ Well, how come?.
我在想事情。 I'm thinking.
噢，想什麼？ Oh, what about?.
我媽媽。 My mother.
Starr告訴我關於她的事， 她殺了她的男朋友，是嗎？ Starr was telling me about her. She's doing time for killing her boyfriend, right?.
好吧，那些事情已經發生了。 Yeah, well, those things happen.
你好了就進來，好嗎？ You come in when you're ready, okay?.
那婊子老是說我沒救， 好像她是Brady Bunch裡面的母親。 That slut said I was grounded, Iike she's the mother in The Brady Bunch.
聽她說。 Listen to that.
被基督拯救。 她只是個虛偽的人。 Saved by Jesus. She's such a hypocrite.
他們不該那樣。 他們甚至還沒結婚。 They shouldn't be doing it. They're not even married.
Reverend Daniels老是講關於耶穌的廢話。 Reverend Daniels always blah-blahing about Jesus.
他想做的指示看她的屁股。 AII he really wants to do is Iook at her ass.
別忘了開著窗。 Don't forget to Ieave the window open.
別那樣看著我。 Don't Iook at me Iike that.
你和我沒什麼不同。 你只是還不知道罷了。 You're no different than I am. You just don't know it yet.
我要殺了你， Ingrid！ I'm gonna kill you, Ingrid!
我要卡死你，婊子！ I'm gonna strangle you, bitch!
你這個該死的婊子。 You bloody bitch!
罪是一種病毒。 那是Reverend Thomas說的。 Sin is a virus. That's what Reverend Thomas says.
它就像鼓掌聲一樣傳遍了全村。 It's infecting the whole country Iike the clap.
我們想到了種種借口。 We've got every excuse.
如果我吸食可卡因，或者想爽一下， 這有什麼錯？這傷害到誰了？ What's wrong if I shovel coke up my nose or want to feel good?. Who does it hurt?.
好的，這傷害了我們。 而且也傷害了主。因為這是錯的。 Well, it hurts us. And it hurts Jesus. Because it's wrong.
我不知道你怎麼會相信這樣的屁話。 I don't know how you swallow that.
「 信主的人， 即使死了， 也將重生」 ，別忘了。 "" He who believeth in me, though he was dead, yet will he Iive."" Don't forget it.
我們到了。 Here we are.
我沒死真是奇跡。他們帶走了我的孩子， 我是個酗酒者... It's a miracle I'm not dead. They took my kids away. I was an alcoholic...
-...癮君子，我跳過脫衣舞。 -大家都在看你。 -...a cokehead. I was dancing topless. -People are staring.
噢， Astrid， 看啊！ Oh, Astrid, Iook!
看看這個，這和你的新鞋配在一起太完美了。 Look at that. That is gonna go perfect with your new shoes.
我的意思是，我想： I mean, I thought:
「誰會在意我把乳房放在陌生人臉上， 這和任何人都沒關係」 ""Who cares if I hang my tits in a stranger's face?. It's nobody's business.""
你知道嗎？ 你穿這個會好看。 You know what?. This is gonna be good on you.
Astrid，那鞋真難看。 Astrid, those are ugly shoes.
蛇不會咬到我的腳。 Snakes don't bite above the ankle.
你還是別管那些，穿上這個。 You're better off being bitten by snakes than dressing for them.
我們要給她買個胸罩。 Carolee從9歲就開始穿胸罩了。 We need to get her a bra. Carolee had her first bra when she was 9.
你不希望到30歲的時候胸部下垂到膝蓋上吧， 穿上這個。 You don't want them hanging to your knees when you're 30. Try it on.
Carolee，Ray 會喜歡這個嗎？ 看啊，真漂亮！ Carolee, will Ray Iove that?. Look at that. That is so nice!
快， Astrid，在這！ Hurry, Astrid, it's here!
我告訴過你們要錯過了。 I told you you were gonna miss it.
Astrid.。這是你的。 Astrid. This one's for you.
誰寫的信？ Who's it from?.
我媽媽。 My mother.
我原以為她不知道我在哪裡。 I didn't think she knew where I was.
親愛的Astrid， 你收到我的信了嗎？ Dear Astrid, have you been getting my letters?
已經過去6個月了。 你為什麼不給我寫信？ It's been six months. Why don't you write?
幾分鐘前他們才關了燈。 It's only a few minutes before they turn out the lights.
我可以聽到那些女人在牢房裡尖叫。 I can hear the women screaming in their cells.
我們都在監獄裡，你和我， 因為我們的力量和獨立而受懲罰。 We 're both in prison, you and I, punished for our strength and our independence.
別忘了你是誰。 Don 't forget who you are.
我最好的那一面已經很好的隱藏起來了， 你也要一樣地這樣做。 The best part of me is well-hidden and you have to do the same.
你要記住， 每次侮辱，每滴眼淚。 Remember it all, every insult, every tear.
你在幹什麼呢？ What are you doing?.
我在給我媽媽寫信。 I' m writing a Ietter to my mother.
你有給你父親寫過信嗎？ You ever write your dad?.
我不知道他在哪裡。 I don' t know where he is.
我從未見過他。 I never met him.
我兩歲的時候他就離開了。 He Ieft when I was 2.
-你母親告訴你關於他的很多事嗎？ -不。 -Your mother tell you much about him?. -No.
-那你不好奇嗎？ -我在想他會怎樣想著我。 -Well, aren't you curious?. -I think about what he would think of me.
他也許會認為你還是兩歲。 那是我對我兒子Seth的印象 。 He probably thinks you're still 2. That's how I remember my son, Seth.
-你有一個兒子？ -是的。 -You have a son?. -Yeah.
-嗨，Ray。 -嗨，Patty。 -Hey, Ray. -Hey, Patty.
你要去布道會是嗎？ So you're going to the Jesus show?.
-你不去麼？ -去學聖經？不。 -Aren't you coming?. -To Bible study?. No.
依我看來，即使有上帝。 他也和地獄一樣不值得禱告。 In my opinion, if there's a God, he sure as hell ain't worth praying to.
這聽起來像我媽媽說的。 That sounds Iike something my mother would say.
她不會帶我去聖誕慶典。 She wouldn't take me to the Christmas pageant.
她讓我想騎在其他小孩上面。 She made me beg a ride off another kid.
嗨，Ray。 Hey, Ray.
Leanne，你好！ Leanne, hi!
近來如何， Reverend？ 我想他不是很喜歡我。 How you doing, Reverend?. I don't think he Iikes me very much.
你和Starr為什麼不結婚？ Why don't you and Starr get married?.
因為我已經結過婚了。 'Cause I'm already married.
-Astrid，過來，我們要開始了。 -好的，我就來。 -Astrid, come on in. We're starting. -Okay, I'm coming.
你妻子在哪裡？ Where's your wife?.
誰知道呢？ Who knows?.
我已經有五年多沒見到她和我兒子了。 I haven't seen her or my son in over five years.
我以聖父，聖子和聖靈的名義給你進行洗禮。 I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
阿門。 Amen.
你現在信主了嗎？ Do you believe in God now?.
也許相信什麼並不是一件壞事。 Maybe it's not such a bad thing to believe in something.
-瞭解事情會更好。 -為什麼？ -It's better to know things. -Why?.
那讓你感到什麼？ 它有使你能分辨正誤嗎？ What does it get you?. Does it tell you the difference between right or wrong?.
她不是獨自殺了那傢伙的。 She didn't kill that guy alone.
我早就知道我媽媽在幹什麼， 你知道嗎？ I knew what my mother was doing, you know?.
我原可以救他的命， 但我沒有。 I could've saved his Iife, but I didn't.
快點。 Come on.
我要殺了你，Ingrid！把門打開！ I'm gonna kill you, Ingrid! Open the door!
猜猜他硬盤上有什麼重要的東西？ Think there was something valuable on that hard disk?.
也許是這個秋天收集起來要出版的評論。 Maybe a collection of essays due at the publisher's this fall.
你這個該死的婊子！ 你不能這樣對我！ You bloody bitch! You can't do this to me!
你不瞭解我能做什麼。 You don't know what I can do.
填好你的註冊表。 填上你要探視人的號碼。 Fill out your registration slips. Know your inmate's number.
沒有號碼不能探視。 No number, no visit.
嗨，寶貝。 Hey, baby.
Astrid Magnussen？ Astrid Magnussen?.
Astrid？ Astrid?.
跟我來。 Follow me.
媽媽！ Mama!
別哭，別哭，別哭。 No, no, no, no, no.
別哭了。 Don't cry.
我們不要那樣。 我們是維京人，記得嗎？ We're not Iike that. We're the Vikings. Remember?.
你真漂亮。 You're so beautiful.
監獄裡也是這麼說的。 Prison agrees with me.
這裡沒有偽善。 There's no hypocrisy here.
殺人或是被殺， 每個人都知道。 Kill or be killed, and everybody knows it.
他們傷害你了嗎？ Do they hurt you?.
沒有我傷害他們多。 Not as much as I hurt them.
我不會永遠帶在這裡的， 我保證。 I won't be in here forever. I promise you that.
總有一天，你從窗外看， 我會在那裡的。 One day you'II Iook out your window and I'II be there.
你的頭髮聞起來像苜蓿。 Your hair smells Iike clover.
我要記住你這個樣子， 穿著哀傷的又帶著希望的粉紅色衣服。 I wanna remember you just Iike this, in that sadly hopeful pink dress.
-Starr 為我挑的。 -當然。 -Starr picked it out. -Of course she did.
那是什麼？ What's that?.
沒什麼，只是一個十字架。 Nothing. It's just a cross.
我知道這是一個十字架。 I know it's a cross.
你為什麼帶著這個？ Why are you wearing it?.
這是Starr給我的禮物。 It's a present from Starr.
她強迫你去教堂了？ She force you to go to church?.
他們人很好。 他們叫上帝會。 They're really nice people. It's called the Assembly of God.
要加入你要接受基督作為你的救助者， 並且要受洗禮。 To join you have to accept Christ as your personal savior. And you're baptized.
他們稱這是用羊羔的血進行洗禮， 但實際上只是用水。 They call it being washed in the blood of the Lamb. But really, it's just water.
你接受基督作為你的救助者了？ Have you accepted Christ as your personal savior?.
-基督徒並沒有什麼不好。 -你瘋了嗎？ -There's nothing wrong with Christians. -Are you out of your mind?.
這怎麼可能？我養育了你， 而不是宣揚聖經的垃圾。 How did this happen?. I raised you, not Bible-thumping trailer trash.
我養育了你，讓你自己思考。 I raised you to think for yourself.
不，你沒有。 No, you didn't.
你要我像你一樣思考。 You raised me to think Iike you.
也許自己思考不是那麼好。 Reverend Daniels說那是邪惡的。 Maybe thinking for yourself isn't so great. Reverend Daniels says it's evil.
邪惡？如果自主思考是邪惡的， 那麼每個藝術家都是邪惡的。 Evil?. If thinking for yourself is evil, then every artist is evil.
那就是你相信的， 你現在在羊羔的血裡面洗淨了？ Is that what you believe, now that you're washed in the blood of the Lamb?.
-人們思考的能力是邪惡的？我是邪惡的嗎？ -不。 -Man's ability to reason is evil?. Am I evil?. -No.
不是的。 No.
但是殺了不想要你的人那是邪惡的。 But killing people who don't want you is evil.
我們為你的贖罪祈禱。 We pray for your redemption.
操他的贖罪，我不需要， 我對一切都不後悔。 Fuck my redemption. I don't want it. I regret nothing.
請注意，探視時間已經結束。 探視者，請回到過渡區。 Attention. Visiting hours are over. Visitors, return to the holding area.
你嘗試著別是邪惡是好的，Astrid。 It's good that you're trying to identify evil, Astrid.
但是邪惡是狡猾的。 But evil is tricky.
一旦你認為你知道它是什麼， 它就改變了它的形式。 Just when you think you know what it is, it changes its form.
需要用一生的時間去學習瞭解它的本性。 Learning its nature takes a Iifetime of study.
我不會失去你。 不會把你給他們。 I will not Iose you. Not to them.
那些人是敵人，Astrid。 Those people are the enemy, Astrid.
- 探視時間已經結束。 - 給我寫信。 - Visiting hours are over. -Write to me.
-時間到了。 -寫信給我... -Time' s up. -Write to me...
-...至少每星期一次。 -我愛你。 -...at Ieast once a week. -I Iove you.
我是唯一你知道可以保持你的誠實的人。 I' m the only person you know who can keep you honest.
-好嗎？ -好的。 -Okay?. -Okay.
別忘了你是誰，Astrid。 Don' t forget who you are, Astrid.
你是我的女兒，你是完美的， 記住了嗎？ You're my daughter and you're perfect, remember?.
那兒離這多遠？ How far away is it?.
大概一英里，也許兩英里。 About a mile. Maybe two.
我們要收拾好準備走嗎？ Shouldn't we pack up and go?.
不，還不用。風向對我們還有利。 No, not yet. The wind's still in our favor.
我媽媽過去很喜歡火災季節。 My mother used to Iove fire season.
她讓我決定我們是否該走。 She made me decide what I'd take if we had to go.
她說如果我夠勇敢， 我什麼也不用做。 She said if I was brave, I wouldn't take anything.
你母親聽起來很堅強。 Your mother sounds tough.
不像你。 Not Iike you.
我怎麼樣？ What am I Iike?.
你？你是個甜心。 You?. You're a sweetheart.
Astrid，親愛的？ Astrid, honey?.
Astrid？ Astrid?.
你能進來一會兒嗎？ You come on in here a minute?.
坐吧，我又不會咬人。 Well, sit down. I won't bite.
你在這過得愉快，是嗎？ 像在家裡一樣，感覺舒適嗎？ You having fun here, aren't you?. Making yourself at home, getting comfortable?.
我要說舒服得有點過頭了。 Little too comfortable, I'd say.
我也許不是個天才，但是我瞭解你的把戲。 而且這讓人瞭解另一個人。 I might not be a genius, but I get your game. And it takes one to know one.
-什麼？ -老是在邊上轉來轉去... -One what?. -AIways hanging around...
...動他的工具。 「這是幹什麼用的， Ray？我能幫你嗎？」 ...handling his tools. ""What's this for, Ray?. Can I help you?. ""
我們什麼也沒做。 We're not doing anything.
我要打電話給兒童服務中心。 I'm calling Children's Services.
-這結束了。 -但是-- -It's all over. -But--
不要跟我說"但是"。 Don't "" but"" me.
他是個男人，他注意他所看到的， 而且他會做他所能做的。 He is a man. And he sees what he sees, and he does what he can.
我在這過得很愉快。 I've got a nice thing going here.
Ray是我遇到過最好的人。 Ray's the best man I ever had.
我住得太久也走得太遠， 以至於現在毀了它。 And I've Iived too Iong and come too far to blow it now.
我從小就沒有父親。 I never had a father....
別說這個。 Don't.
我需要操心我自己和我的孩子。 我們很難理解對方。 I've got myself and my kids to worry about. We hardly know each other.
我什麼也不欠你。 I don't owe you a thing.
-主會給我一個機會。 -我不是主，和主也不親近。 -Jesus would give me a chance. -Well, I'm not Jesus. Not even close.
他會生氣。 He might be mad...
...如果他知道你把我送走， 只是因為你嫉妒。 ...if he knew you sent me away because you were jealous.
你想要把它變成一個囚犯。 他會恨你的。 You're trying to make him a prisoner. He's gonna hate you.
你知道什麼？ What do you know?.
我知道男人不喜歡想要佔有他們的女人。 I know that men don't Iike women who try to own them.
我喜歡你，我喜歡這些孩子們。 我不會做任何事去毀了它。 I Iike you. I Iike the kids. I would never do anything to screw it up.
你發誓你對他不感興趣？ You swear you're not interested in him?.
我向上帝發誓。 I swear to God.
-在那兒，你看到了嗎？ -我不知道。 -There. Did you see it?. -I'm not sure.
-看到什麼了嗎？ -這才開始。 -See anything yet?. -It's just starting.
但我們很快就會看到一小時內40個了。 But we should be getting 40 an hour soon.
象限儀座流星雨是時間最短的流星雨， 但是是最稠密的。 The Quadrantid is the shortest meteorite shower, but the densest.
除了英仙座流星雨。 Except for the Perseids.
你和Starr，你們吵架了嗎？ You and Starr, you having a beef?.
沒有。 No.
為什麼？ Why?.
只是她說了一些東西。 Just something she said.
我想要長大很難... I guess it's hard getting older...
...漂亮女孩在屋子裡出現。 ...pretty girl coming up in the house.
Ray，親愛的？ 你在外面幹什麼？ Ray, honey?. What are you doing out here?.
沒什麼，寶貝。 只是抽支煙。 Nothing, baby. Just having a smoke.
看那些星星。 Looking at the stars.
只是40美元 又不是每個月40美元。 And this is $40, not even $40 a month.
-四十美元就是四十美元。 -你一晚上浪費了200美元。 -Forty dollars is $40. -You waste $200 in one night.
-你每個星期都這樣。 -我上星期贏了。 -You've been doing it weekly. -I won Iast week.
你還能用錢做其他什麼事， Ray？ What else are you doing with the money, Ray?.
-你甚至不看我。 -我正看著你。 -You can't even Iook at me. -I'm Iooking right at you.
你沒有，你買了車。 You weren't. And you've got your car out there.
天知道你在那上面花了多少。 God knows what you spend on that.
我用的是自己的錢。 That comes out of my pocket.
-別毀了這個。 -毀了什麼？ -Don't ruin this. -Ruin what?.
今天凌晨你到三點了還沒回來。 You didn't come in till 3:00 in the morning.
-我和John在一起。 -她又喝酒了。 -I was with John. -She's drinking again.
還有誰？ 我看到你在盯著她。 And who else?. I saw you eyeing her.
我以為你們都去看電影了。 Thought you all were going to a movie.
我有很多作業要做。 I had a Iot of homework.
-你怎麼不玩牌了？ -遊戲取消了。 -How come you aren't playing poker?. -The game got cancelled.
-他們很快會回來嗎？ -不會太久。 -They coming home soon?. -Not too Iong.
如果你想要， 這裡有足夠的食物。 Well, there's plenty of food if you want.
謝謝。 Thanks.
這是不對的。 This isn't right.
其他人都走了嗎？ Is everyone gone?.
-這是我的事！這是我的房子！ -這不是！ -It is my business! This is my house! -It is not!
-從我房間滾出去！ -你要遵從我定下的規矩！ -Get out of my room! -You abide by the Iaws I put down!
我不會走的！我要在這裡等你。 我要知道你和誰在一起！ I am not gonna get out! I waited up for you. I want to know who you were with!
別跟我廢話。 你喝太多了。 Don't give me your shit. You stayed up to drink.
-我在這等著你，你這個蕩婦。 -你要知道。 -I stayed up to catch you, you whore! -You should know.
再試一次， 我會把你打出去，婊子。 Try it again, I'II take you out, bitch.
Carolee!！你走出那扇門， 就不要再回來了。 Carolee! You walk out that door, don't you bother coming back.
見鬼，我為什麼要回來？ 我和你在一起受夠了，媽媽。 Why the hell would I want to?. I've been down this road with you before, Mom.
對不起，Davey。 我再也忍受不了了。 Sorry, Davey. I can't go through this again.
Carolee。 Carolee.
在你注意那個婊子以前你喜歡這樣的， 承認吧，雜種！ You used to Iike it before you started doing that bitch. Admit it, bastard!
-你在和她鬼混！ -你需要打電話給你的保證人。 -You're screwing her! -You need to call your sponsor.
-去他的保證人！ -回到床上去。 -Screw my sponsor! -Go back to bed.
我早該把她趕走。 知道我要做什麼嗎？ I should've gotten rid of her. Know what I'm gonna do?.
我要進去兌現她的支票。 I'm gonna go in there and cash her check.
嗨， Starr。 Starr。嗨， Starr！ 把槍給我。 Hey, Starr. Starr. Hey! Starr! Give me that gun.
-你出什麼鬼問題了？ -滾開！ -What the hell is wrong with you?. -Get off!
Starr! Starr! Starr! Starr!
滾開，他媽的！ 別碰我！ Get off of me, goddamn it! Get off of me!
不，Ray！該死的，Ray。 別動我！ No, Ray! Goddamn it, Ray. Get off of me!
不， 不要哭，我們不要那樣， 我們是維京人，記得嗎？ No, don't cry. We're not like that. We're the Vikings, remember?
Astrid?你能和我說話嗎？ Astrid? Astrid? Can you talk to me? Astrid?
Astrid?你能和我說話嗎？Astrid 和我說話，你能和我說話嗎？ Astrid?. Can you talk to me?. Astrid. Talk to me. Can you talk to me?.
她恢復知覺了。 這男孩救了她的命。 是她打電話給911的... She's coming around. This boy saved your Iife. If he hadn't called 91 1...
-...你差點就死了。 -誰對你做了這些， Astrid？ -...you'd be dead. -Who did this to you, Astrid?.
-誰開槍打你的？ -我不知道。 -Who shot you?. -I don't know.
嗨，注意你的腳。 Hey, watch your feet.
-好的，給我毯子。 -知道了。 -Okay, rug. -Got it.
-Ray在哪裡， Davey？ -他走了，他們倆都走了。 -Where's Ray, Davey?. -He's gone. They're both gone.
對不起。 真得很對不起，是我毀了這一切。 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I ruined it.
沒關係， 這遲早要發生的。 Doesn't matter. Something would have.
再見， Astrid. Bye, Astrid.
好的，有個台階。 Okay. One step.
-Davey. -我們接到你了， Astrid. -Davey. -We got you, Astrid.
好的，小心。 Okay, step.
我們接到她了。 We got her.
沒事了，我們救了你了。 It's okay. We got you.
我們要找一個長久的地方， 但是我們現在沒有足夠多的孩子。 We'd prefer to find a permanent place, but we have so many children right now.
你會在 McKinney Hall受到特殊照顧 You need special attention, which you'II get at McKinney Hall.
他們有各種為孩子設置的活動。 They have all sorts of activities for kids.
你死定了，婊子！ 你聽到我說的嗎？你死定了！ You're dead, bitch! You hear me?. You're dead.
你再也不要看我男朋友一眼， 你聽到了嗎？ Don't ever Iook at my boyfriend again. You hear me?.
你要是看我男朋友， 你就死定了。 You Iook at my boyfriend, you're dead!
下次你和你的朋友要是再對我動手， 我會在你睡覺的時候割斷你的喉嚨。 Next time you and your friends jump me, I'II cut your throats when you're sleeping.
-你想幹什麼？ -我在看你的畫。 -What do you want?. -I was Iooking at your picture.
很不錯。 It's good.
畫的是誰？ Who is it?.
-你為什麼剪了頭髮？ -不關你的事。 -How come you chopped off your hair?. -None of your business.
-你還是很漂亮。 -我對外表不感興趣。 -You're still beautiful. -Looks don't interest me.
那對你來說很簡單， 你從來都很漂亮。 That's easy for you to say. You've never been ugly.
看那，這就是puta。 她現在真醜。 Look. It's the puta. She's so ugly now.
你一點也不醜。 You're not ugly.
你在信裡好像很驚訝 我在這裡還是這麼漂亮。 You write as if you're surprised to find me still beautiful even here.
我們的美來自於我們的力量。 Our beauty is our power, our strength.
我們可以用力量來改變自己， 來放鬆自己。 We can't allow them to change us, to lessen us.
我永遠不會讓它滿足， 你也不能。 I will never grant them that satisfaction and neither should you.
這是你第一次來到Mac？ So is this your first time in Mac?.
沒錯，你很不友好。 Figured. You're so unfriendly.
-沒有朋友生活會更容易。 -也許，我喜歡在這。 -Life's easier without friends. -Maybe. I Iike it here.
這裡比領養家庭要好。 這裡的地上你可以摔倒。 It's better than being in a foster home. It's the floor you can't fall below.
-那是什麼？ -一封信。 -What's that?. -A Ietter.
-誰寫的？ -我媽媽。 -From who?. -My mother.
-她在哪裡？ -監獄裡。因為謀殺罪。 -And where is she?. -In prison. For murder.
-你父親呢？ -不認識那傢伙。 -And your father?. -Don't know the guy.
你呢？ How about you?.
他們都是吸毒者。 They were junkies.
我六歲的時候我媽就離開了。 又過了幾年我爸也消失了。 She OD'd when I was 6. He disappeared a couple years Iater.
-我出生的時候對海洛因成癮。 -真的嗎？那是什麼感覺？ -I was born addicted to heroin. -Really?. What was that Iike?.
我不知道。 我六個月大的時候被治好了 I don't know. I was out of rehab by the time I was six months old.
那麼... So....
-作為交換,你是同性戀嗎? -什麼? -What's the deal?. Are you gay?. -What?.
我不知道,我從你那裡得到這種有趣的感覺. 好像你對男孩不感興趣. I don't know. I get this feeling from you, Iike you're not interested in guys.
你說對了,我是不感興趣. You're right. I'm not.
你以為這很有趣嗎我對這厭倦了. 我再也不會讓你這樣做了. You think that's funny?. I'm sick of this. I'm not gonna Iet you do this again.
你為什麼不閉嘴? 你跟這沒關係. Why don't you shut up?. You're not even in this.
-不要說了. -是她說的這些廢話. -Cut it out. -She does this shit.
等我們從車上下來 我要打你屁股. I'II beat your ass. Wait until we get off the van.
-退後. -我要對你不客氣了. -Back off. -I'm gonna push you farther.
-如果他們抓到我們會怎麼樣. -他們會把我們帶到McKinney Hall. -What if they catch us?. -They'd put us in McKinney Hall.
-快點. -快啊. -Hurry. -Come on.
趕快啊,快來. Come on, come on.
這傢伙這個天才. The guy's a genius.
我剛開始的時候臨摹他的東西. 但是... I started out copying his stuff, but no....
我從來沒有觸及到他。 I could never touch him.
他很棒，但是你比他更棒。 He's great. But you're better.
你瘋了。 You're insane.
不，我沒有。我的意思是， 他是一個偉大的卡通畫家，但你是一個藝術家。 No, I'm not. I mean, he's a great cartoonist, but you're an artist.
這有什麼區別？ What's the difference?.
這就像問為什麼一個笑話是好笑的。 Well, that's Iike asking why a joke is funny.
它是否好笑。 你是否是一個藝術家。 Either it's funny or it's not. You're either an artist or you're not.
你是的。 You are.
這很難，他們一直都在動。 真不錯。 It's hard because they keep moving. That's good.
別看。我還沒畫完呢。 Don't Iook. I'm not done.
-那邊還有一個。你看到了麼？ -看到了。 -There's another one. Do you see it?. -Yeah.
基本上整晚都能看到天琴座流星群。 The Lyrids shower is visible most of the night.
那最亮的星星是Vega. The brightest star is Vega.
但你不能一直盯著它看， 否則你會錯過其他比較暗淡的流星。 But you can't Iook right at it or you'II miss the fainter meteors.
你可以看到他們回歸到天琴座 You can trace them back to Lyra.
你怎麼知道這些的？ How do you know all that?.
我小時候就知道了。 A kid I used to know.
我以前曾經在那邊的領養家庭生活過。 I used to have a foster home right over there.
住在海邊真不錯。 It's nice Iiving on the beach.
你想你父親嗎？ Do you ever think about your father?.
不，他是個混蛋。 Not really. He was an asshole.
我有時想我的父親。 I think about mine sometimes.
當我成為一個藝術家... That when I'm an artist...
...他會在報紙上讀到我的新聞， 然後他會想要見我。 ...he'II read about me in the papers and he'II want to meet me.
我不是同性戀。 I'm not gay.
我知道。 I know that.
這是他為我畫的另一幅畫。 I'II show you the one that he did of me.
在這。 It's right here.
作為它們來說還不錯。 They're not bad, for what they are.
作為它們來說？ 它們是什麼？ For what they are?. What are they?.
漫畫。 Cartoons.
不，它們不是。 No, they're not.
它們要比漫畫來得多得多。 我的意思是，他真的很有天賦。 They're so much more than that. I mean, he's really talented.
-別再這樣做，Astrid。 -做什麼？ -Don't do it again, Astrid. -Do what?.
因為別人給了你一點點注意， 就把自己和他扯上關係。 Attach yourself to anyone who shows you the Ieast bit of attention...
...因為你是孤獨的。 ...because you're Ionely.
孤獨是人類的狀況。 沒有人能填補那空虛。 Loneliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space.
你能做的最好的事就是瞭解你自己。 瞭解你想要什麼。 The best you can do is know yourself. Know what you want.
別讓那些畜牲擋你的路。 And don't Iet the cattle get in the way.
你不是在談論我， 你是在說你自己。 You're not talking about me. You're talking about yourself.
有時我有一種感覺， 你根本就不想讓我開心。 Sometimes I get the feeling you don't even want me to be happy.
我為什麼要讓你不開心呢？ Why wouldn't I want you to be happy?.
-他們要把你送到哪裡去？ -我不知道。 -Where are they sending you?. -I don't know.
你看。 Look.
漫畫書店會幫我收著信。 The comic book store will hold Ietters for me.
不管他們帶你去哪裡， 留意那裡。 Wherever they take you, keep checking there.
我們為什麼要去墨西哥買這些東西？ Why do we have to go to Mexico to buy this stuff?.
藥管局沒有批准這種藥。 It isn't FDA approved.
-那藥叫什麼？ -DMSO. -What's it called?. -DMSO.
-它是治什麼的？ -所有東西。 -What's it for?. -AII sorts of things.
你會喜歡他們的。她是一個演員， 他在電視台工作。 You'II Iike these people. She's an actress and he does something with television.
-他們有孩子嗎？ -沒有。他們想要收養一個。 -Do they have any kids?. -No. They're Iooking to adopt.
她有過不可思議的艱難的過去。 She's had an incredibly hard time.
她很聰明， 只是缺了太多課。 She's very smart. She's just missed a Iot of school.
-你們不需要馬上作出決定。 -好的。 -You don't have to decide immediately. -Okay.
和她談談。 Just talk to her.
如果你在任何方面有什麼不適， 只要告訴我。 If you're uncomfortable in any way, just Iet me know.
你在這。 There you are.
很抱歉，Mark不能在這裡見你， 他在Nova Scotia拍片。 I'm really sorry Mark couldn't be here to meet you. He's filming in Nova Scotia.
好吧。 我把這裡佈置得簡樸一點，是為了... Well, this is it. I Ieft it plain on purpose...
...是因為我想，你知道的， 你可以把自己的東西放上去。 ...because I thought that way, you know, you could put your own things up.
-我喜歡Durer的水彩色。 -你知道Durer是誰？ -I Iike the Durer watercolor. -You know who Durer is?.
-我媽媽是個藝術家。 -噢，沒錯。當然。 -My mother's an artist. -Oh, that's right. Of course.
當然。他們說過了。嗨， 你想要茶還是什麼其它東西嗎？ Of course. They said that. Hey, Iisten. Do you want some tea or something?.
或者百事可樂。我買了百事可樂。 我不知道你喜歡喝什麼，我們有果汁。 Or Pepsi. I bought Pepsi. I didn't know what you'd drink. We have juice.
如果你喜歡，我可以為你調一些果汁。 你喜歡果汁嗎？ I could make you a smoothie, if you Iike. Would you Iike a smoothie?.
茶就好了。 Tea is fine.
好了。 我在看，看著， 停住了， 再看.... Okay. I Iook, I Iook. Stop. Look....
然後我就死了。 And now I die.
-你真棒。 -你知道噩夢是什麼樣的嗎？ -You were really good. -Do you know what a nightmare it is?.
我的意思是， 你花了所有時間在準備， 準備了幾年... I mean, you spend all this time getting ready, ages getting ready...
...把你拖到了觀眾前面， 他們只看了你兩秒鐘... ...drag yourself to this audition. They Iook at you for two seconds...
...然後告訴你你太種族化， 太古典了， 太什麼什麼的。 ...and tell you that you're too ethnic, or too classic, too something.
太種族化？ Too ethnic?.
那意思是說你膚色太深了。 海有太古典的意思是說你太老了。 It means brunette. And too classic means old.
還有說你太小， 指你的胸部。 And too small, breasts.
-那你為什麼還幹這個？ -什麼？ 放棄演藝事業？ -Why do you do it, then?. -What?. Give up show business?.
快啊！ Come on!
-來，為你第一次在海邊跑步乾杯。 -再也不要了。 -Well, here. To your first run at the beach. -Never again.
-你肩膀怎麼樣？你還好吧？ -是的，我很好。 -How's your shoulder?. You okay?. -Yeah. Yeah, it's fine.
你做得真棒。 真的，真的很棒。 No, you did really well. You did really, really well.
你生命中.... What was...
最美好的一天是什麼？ ...the best day of your Iife?.
今天。 Today.
-我們等等要幹嘛？ -我不知道，你想要幹什麼？ -What should we do Iater?. -I don't know. What do you want to do?.
游泳？ Swim?.
好啊。 Okay.
噢，我的天啊！ Oh, my God!
他早回來了。 He's back early.
Mark. Mark.
嗨。 Hey.
嗨 。 Hi.
你一定就是Astrid. You must be Astrid.
我們花了三個小時把他帶回來。 It took us three hours to get him back.
整個電影攝制組都在那裡。 他還是很害怕。 The whole film crew's in there. He still almost chickens out.
我想他以為那還會再回來 把他幹掉。 I think he thought it was gonna come back and finish him off.
-如果是你你會怎麼做？ -我會蹲下。 -What would you have done if it had?. -Ducked.
好了。 Come on.
好了。我們開飯啦。 Okay, here we go.
太好了，就放在這。 謝謝。 Perfect. Just, just right there. Thanks.
-乾杯。 -乾杯。 -Well, cheers. -Cheers.
乾杯，Astrid. Cheers, Astrid.
我們有事做了。 So we've got some catching up to do.
CIaire告訴我你是個藝術家。 CIaire tells me you're quite an artist.
-實際上不是.... -她真棒。 -Not really.... -She's wonderful.
實際上，Tricia Day 接受了 Astrid 的一幅水彩畫。 In fact, Tricia Day accepted Astrid for one of her watercolor classes.
-在博物館？ -她很喜歡 Astrid的作品。 -At the museum?. -She Ioves Astrid's work.
你該給他看看。 You should show him.
它們真的非常非常很漂亮。 They're really, really beautiful.
她甚至沒有學過畫畫， 她都是自學的。 She's never even studied. She's self-taught.
是麼？ Is that right?.
她還好吧？ Is she all right?.
-我知道你是完美的。 -我不是完美的。 -I know you're perfect. -I'm not perfect.
你當然是。 你是我的女兒。 Of course you are. You're my daughter.
嗨。 Hey.
-你還好吧？ -是的，只是在想事情。 -Are you okay?. -Yeah. Just thinking.
-你收到我的信了嗎？ -是的。 -Are you getting my Ietters?. -Yes.
-我不能確定。 -我收到了。 -I can never be sure. -I get them.
為什麼她沒有孩子？ Why doesn' t she have any children?.
她不能生育。 She can't have them.
你現在穿得像她了。 You dress Iike her now.
她帶我去購物。 She takes me shopping.
她丈夫怎麼樣？ What's her husband Iike?.
他人很好。 He's nice.
經常外出。 He's gone a Iot.
那你大部分時間都是和CIaire在一起？ So you spend most of your time with CIaire?.
是的。 Yeah.
我想見見她。 I'd Iike to meet her.
為什麼？ Why?.
因為你不想讓我見她。 Because you don't want me to.
這過去是屬於誰的？ Who did this belong to?.
是我父親那邊的大姑姑的。 That was my great aunt's on my father's side.
她是基督教青年勵志會的戰地護士。 非常，非常勇敢的一個女人。 She was a field nurse at Ypres. Very, very brave woman.
這很漂亮，是嗎？ It's pretty, isn't it?.
-這以前又是誰的？ -是我母親的。 -And whose was this?. -It was my mother's.
我父親給她的。 我父母是完全不可分離的。 My father gave it to her. My parents were completely inseparable.
一點也不像Mark和我。 Not at all Iike Mark and I.
當他要長時間裡開的時候 我真的很討厭這個。 I hate it when he has to go away for so Iong.
-你為什麼不和他一起去呢？ -她說那會拖累他。 -Why don't you go with him?. -He says it slows him down.
-我想是因為他有外遇了。 -她不會有外遇的。 -I think it's because he's having an affair. -He wouldn't have an affair.
他愛你。 He Ioves you.
是啊，我知道。但如果她有外遇， 我永遠也不會知道的。 Yeah, I know. If he did, I would never know about it.
你只是在妄想。 You're just being paranoid.
是啊，他也是這樣說的。 那很消極。 Yeah, that's what he says. That can be very negative.
-我能把它放這嗎？ -可以，很好的。 -Should I put this here?. -Yeah, perfect.
裡面都準備好了嗎？ Everything ready inside?.
-你明天要走嗎？ -是的，明天早上。 -You're Ieaving tomorrow?. -In the morning.
我打賭Claire會很想和你一起去。 I bet CIaire would Iove to go with you.
調整我們的時間表是很難的。 Coordinating our schedules is difficult.
她不用工作。 我的意思是說，她可以按你的安排調整。 She's not working. I mean, she could fit into yours.
那你呢？ 她不是要在這陪你嗎？ What about you?. Doesn't she need to be here for you?.
是的。 Yeah.
我不在的這幾天她怎麼樣？ 她還好吧？ How is she these days, when I'm gone?. She okay?.
她很好。 She's fine.
-你為什麼問這個？ -沒有原因。 -Why do you ask?. -No reason.
你更早回來了。 You're back early.
你母親給你寫信有多久了？ How Iong has my mother been writing you?.
不太久。 我們只是有時寫寫信。 Not Iong. We've only written to each other a couple of times.
-你為什麼不告訴我呢？ -她叫我不要告訴你。 -Why didn't you tell me?. -She asked me not to.
她想你不會喜歡這樣。 Well, she thought that you wouldn't Iike it.
她的信很有力量。 Her Ietter was so powerful.
她很堅強。 She's so strong.
天哪， 她很有才華。 And God, she's talented.
我們想要見面。 We'd Iike to meet.
這是誰的主意？ Whose idea was that?.
我的。 Mine.
我就是這樣想。 I bet.
-你知道，我真的很喜歡你的工作。 -你看到了什麼？ -You know, I really Iove your work. -What have you seen?.
Astrid 給我看過了那些抽像拚貼畫。 Astrid showed me the collages...
...還有一些目錄裡收藏的你早期的作品。 ...and some of your earlier work in the catalogues.
噢，我很喜歡那個人造偏光板的作品。 Oh, I Iove the Polaroid installation.
真的嗎？為什麼？ Really?. Why?.
我不知道。 I don't know.
因為.... Well, because....
因為它非常棒。 Well, because it's great.
-我個人非常視覺化。 -一個有同類的精靈。 -I'm actually very visual myself. -A kindred spirit.
你在這創作一定很艱難。 It must be difficult for you to work here.
是啊。 我花了太多時間在拒絕求愛上。 It is. I spend so much time fighting off sexual advances...
...我很難有時間去思考。 ...I hardly have time to think.
那是一個笑話。 That was a joke.
-囚犯的幽默有時很難理解。 -抱歉。 -Jailbird humor is hard to get sometimes. -Sorry.
那， 你是個演員。 So, you're an actress.
-真誘人。 -不，我的職業是個災難。 -So glamorous. -No, my career is a disaster.
我想是這個過程。 你知道的，也許對我來說太痛苦。 I think it's the process. It, you know, may be too painful for me.
你是個很敏感的人， 這.... You're such a sensitive person, it's....
因為你的自尊，拒絕變得很難。 AII that rejection has gotta be hard on your self-esteem.
我是個典型的雙魚座的人， 但那也是為什麼Astrid和我相處得那麼好。 I'm a typical Pisces, but that's why Astrid and I get on so well.
天蠍座和雙魚座的人都能理解對方。 Scorpio and Pisces understand each other.
你有研究占星術嗎？ You're into astrology?.
她沒有研究占星術， 這只是因為她知道我們的星座。 She's not into astrology just because she knows our signs.
Astrid 和我過去也很理解對方。 Astrid and I used to understand each other.
但是她變得更秘密了。 But she's become so secretive.
Astrid 一點也沒有秘密。 我們向來什麼都談。 Astrid isn't secretive at all. We talk about everything, all the time.
我們都愛她。 We just Iove her.
她做得很好。 She's doing so well.
她很讓人驕傲... She's on the honor roll...
...我們只想讓她成績能升上去。 ...and we're just working to keep that old grade point average up.
在他書桌上放一個金字塔。 這有助於提高記憶。 Put a pyramid over her desk. It improves memory.
-我的記憶力很好。 -金字塔？我從沒有想過。 -My memory's fine. -A pyramid?. I hadn't thought of that.
雖然我有學一點風水。 I do practice feng shui, though.
你在信裡從沒提起過。 You never mentioned that in your Ietters.
你丈夫怎麼樣？ 她對風水也有研究嗎？ How about your husband?. Is he into feng shui as well?.
不，他經常出遠門。 No, he's into frequent flier miles.
一半的時間他都是在外面的。 He's gone half the time.
你知道嗎，那並不是很糟。 而且現在我有了Astrid.... That's not so bad, you know?. And now that I have Astrid....
她對你一定是一個很大的安慰... She must be a great comfort to you...
...不能有自己的孩子。 ...not being able to have children of your own.
是的。 她是的。 Yeah. Yeah. She is.
寶貝，你不介意讓我們獨自談一會兒吧？ Would you mind Ietting us talk alone, sweetie?.
一些大人的事情。 Grown-up things.
-我們要走嗎？ -不，沒關係。 -Don't we have to go?. -No, it's okay.
我們有時間。 We have time.
愛情侮辱了你。 Love humiliates you.
仇恨使你成熟。 Hatred cradles you.
這使人寬心。 It's soothing.
你和她說了什麼？ What did you say to her?.
她和她丈夫之間有問題。 She's having trouble with her husband.
那不是你，是嗎？ 我知道你對成年男人有一種吸引力。 It's not you, is it?. I know you have an attraction for older men.
不，那不是我。 No, it's not me.
-你不要干涉她。 -但是這很有趣。 -You Ieave her alone. -But it's such fun.
簡單，但是有趣。 Easy, but fun.
在目前的狀況下， 我會盡可能的尋找快樂。 In my present situation I have to get fun where I can.
天啊，你怎麼能和可憐的CIaire一起生活？ God, how can you stand to Iive with poor CIaire?.
你知道嗎？ 她有一個完整的計劃。 Did you know there's an entire order called the Poor CIares?.
她是一個真誠的好人。 She is a genuinely nice person.
你不知道那是什麼。 You don't know what it's been Iike.
-如果你愛我，你應該幫助我。 -幫助你？ -If you Iove me, you'II help me. -Help you?.
和她在一起， 我寧願看到你在最糟糕的收養家庭裡。 I would rather see you in the worst kind of foster hell than Iiving with that woman.
你能從她那裡學到什麼？ What can you possibly Iearn from her?.
如何藝術地渴望。 How to pine artistically?.
27個催人落淚的名字。 Twenty-seven names for tears?.
我所能說的... AII I can say is...
...只是收拾好你的東西。 ...keep your bags packed.
我不喜歡這樣。 我像是一個陌生人在我自己的房子裡。 I don't feel Iike it. I'm a stranger in my own house.
你住在這， 我只是偶爾在這。 You Iive here and I stay here once in a while.
-也許你能再多付出一些。 -付出。 -Maybe if you gave a Iittle bit. -I give.
為什麼我不能為她付出？ 為什麼我不能在這裡？ Why can't I give to her, why can't I be here?.
-因為我要工作！應為我有一個職業。 -那不公平。 -Because I work! Because I have a job. -That's not fair.
我給了你要求的一切， 那就夠了。 I give you everything you ask for and it's not enough.
不，不是一切， 不是一切。 No, not everything. Not everything.
你答應過事情會有改變的。 You promised things would change.
-Mark,，我在試 ，你知道我在嘗試。 -嘗試並不夠好。 -Mark, I'm trying, you know I'm trying. -Trying's not good enough.
你在崩潰。 我們又回到了開始的地方。 You're falling apart. We are back to where we started.
這還沒有解決， 我像我們應該把她送回去。 It is not working out and I think we should send her back.
你不能僅僅把她送回去。 You can't just send her back.
-她要到哪裡去？ -他們會找某個地方。 -Where's she gonna go?. -They'II find someplace.
你要把她送走？ 你把一切都帶走了，不是嗎？ You're gonna send her away?. You take everything away, don't you?.
-你什麼都沒有為我留下。 -上帝啊，你真是個差勁的演員。 -You just Ieave me with nothing. -Jesus Christ, you are such a bad actress.
我都快要忘了。 I really almost forgot.
好吧，好吧。 Okay, okay.
好的，我會把她送回去，好嗎？ 我們可以試試。 AII right, I'II send her back, okay?. We can try that.
只是不要走，好嗎？ 只是不要離開我。 Just don't go, okay?. Just don't Ieave me.
我有工作，CIaire,， 我不像你，知道嗎？ Unlike you, CIaire, I work. Remember?.
她會和你在一起， 你的女朋友？ And she going with you, your girlfriend?.
我和她在一起， CIaire。 I've had it with this, CIaire.
我已經有了。 I've really had it.
Astrid?. Astrid?.
Astrid. Astrid.
Astrid，不要這樣。 Astrid, please.
CIaire?. CIaire?.
你醒著麼？ Are you awake?.
很抱歉。 I'm sorry.
你還好嗎？ Are you all right?.
是的。 Yeah.
聽我的建議， 不要靠近分手的人。 Take my advice. Stay away from broken people.
你不能把我送回去。 You can't send me back.
她不會回來了，Astrid. He's not coming back, Astrid.
他要和我離婚。 He's gonna divorce me.
你知道嗎，CIaire， 這並不是最壞的事。 You know, CIaire, it wouldn't be the worst thing.
我很冷。 I'm cold.
真的很冷。 Real cold.
來這裡，過來和我在一起。 Here. Get in here with me.
來吧。 Come on.
好的。 Okay.
和我在一起，好嗎？ Stay with me, okay?.
和我在一起，拜託了。 Stay with me, please.
CIaire. CIaire.
CIaire,醒醒！ CIaire! CIaire, wake up! CIaire!
天啊！ God!
CIaire,不要這樣。 CIaire, please.
不！ No!
Astrid. Astrid.
怎麼了？ What is it?.
我被送回Mac了。 I'm back in Mac.
-他們沒告訴你嗎？ -沒有。 -Didn't they tell you?. -No.
CIaire死了。 CIaire's dead.
她自殺了。 She killed herself.
-我很遺憾。 -不，你沒有。 -I'm sorry. -No, you're not.
-你也毒害了她，用你的語言。 -我只是告訴她已經知道的事。 -You poisoned her too, but with words. -I told her what she already knew.
你只是嫉妒。 You were just jealous.
我當然嫉妒了。 我和一個女人一起生活在一個囚室裡... Of course I was jealous. I Iive in a cell with a woman...
...她連字都認不全。 ...who has a vocabulary of 25 words.
你認為他們為什麼要收養你？ Why do you think they got you?.
建立一個完美的家庭？ 人們生孩子就是為了這個。 To create a perfect family?. People get babies for that.
而不是讓孩子從槍傷中痊癒。 Not teenagers recovering from bullet wounds.
你看到她自殺， 不要以為這是她第一次嘗試。 You were on suicide watch. Don't think it's the first time she tried it.
這是是第一次成功罷了。 It's just the first time she pulled it off.
我不會再回來了。 I'm not coming back.
我再也不會和你說話了。 I wanted to tell you that in person.
我要讓你獨自一個人呆在這裡。 I'm gonna Ieave you here, alone.
我知道你認為我很殘酷。 I know you think I'm cruel.
我只是想保護你不受那些人傷害。 I'm trying to protect you from those people.
那些人並不是敵人。 媽媽。我們才是。你和我。 Those people are not the enemy, Mother. We are. You and me.
他們沒有傷害我們。 是我們傷害了他們。 They don't hurt us. We hurt them.
你還在逃避我嗎？ You still ignoring me?.
星期六我就18歲了。 我打算去紐約。 I turn 1 8 Saturday. I'm going to New York.
我想你和我一起去。 I want you to come with me.
我不能。 I can't.
你當然可以。 只是離開這裡。 Sure you can. Just Ieave.
是因為你母親嗎？ Is it your mother?.
不要這樣。 Come on.
我找到了一份工作。我們會有地方住的。 我們會像以前說得那樣生活。 I'II get a job. We'II find a place to Iive. We'II be Iike we always talked about.
我不想去紐約。 我不想和你在一起。 I don't wanna go to New York. I don't wanna be with you.
她和我們在一起生活了三年。 但是她父母後來把她帶回去了。 She was with us for three years. Her parents took her back.
我們想你會喜歡和我們在一起的。 We think you'd really Iike it with us.
我們家附近有很多和你年紀一樣的小孩。 There are Iots of kids your age in our neighborhood.
抱歉。 Excuse me.
別擔心。 她只是最近生活得很艱難。 Look. Don't worry about it. She's had a very hard time recently.
讓我和她談談，好嗎？ Let me just go talk to her, okay?. You're doing fine.
這次怎麼了？ So, what's wrong this time?.
對於他們來說我年齡太大了。 I'm too old for them.
你看，Greenway一家很好。 Look, the Greenways are great.
他們有不錯的房子， 準備了一間臥室給你。 They've got a nice house with an extra bedroom for you.
他們都信教。 They go to church.
那裡的學校也不錯。 Schools are good.
他們不抽煙， 自己釀造啤酒。 They don't smoke. He makes his own beer.
我想要她。 I want her.
工人們，起床啦。 Workers of the world, arise.
你們再不起床就要錯過賺錢，吃早餐了。 You've got nothing to Iose but Visa card, Happy Meal, and Kotex with wings.
天啊，星期四了。 Christ, Thursday.
-嗨，懶蟲們，要抽煙嗎？ -我懷孕了，要戒煙，Rena。 -Hey, Iazy cows, you want smoke?. -I quit for the baby, Rena.
為什麼？你不抽了，感謝上帝。 Why?. You don't keep it, thank God.
嗨，你呢？拉拉隊長。 你要抽煙嗎？ Hey, you, cheerleader. You want smoke?.
俄羅斯香煙，不會致癌的。 Russian cigarettes. No cancer.
衣服。 CIothes.
-這顏色真不錯。 -真華麗。 -That really is a nice color. -It's gorgeous.
-這衣服是什麼質地的？ -我不知道。 -What's it made of?. -I don't know.
你為什麼不試穿上看看怎麼樣呢？ Why don't you just try it on and see how you Iook?.
-真得不錯。 -好的，謝謝。 -It's really nice. -Okay, thank you.
嘿，這是我的衣服。 這些都是我的。 Hey, that's my dress. These are all mine.
那又怎麼樣？它們可以賣好價錢。 你又需要哪些昂貴的衣服幹什麼呢？ So?. You get good price for them. What do you need expensive clothes for?.
-你想當明星嗎？ -那是別人送我的。 -Melrose Place call you to be a star?. -Someone gave them to me.
那就更好了。純賺了。 這就是為什麼我這麼喜歡這個國家。 Even better. AII profit. That' s why I Iove this country.
因為它和我一樣愛錢。 Because it Ioves money Iike I Iove money.
-嗨，你出價吧。我抽成25% -不。 -Hey. You make a price, I take 25%. -No.
什麼？你想自己一個人賣嗎？ What, you think you're gonna sell it all by yourself?.
我為攤位，庫存，煤氣付錢，他們為你付錢。 你又付錢給我。 你還是賺的。 I pay for stall, storage, gas. They pay you, you pay me. You still make profit.
嗨。 Hey.
送這些東西給你的人已經死了， 她不會在意的。過去的就已經過去了。 Dead person who give you thing don't care. The past is gone.
傷感是愚蠢的。 只有賺錢才是明智的。 Sentimental is stupid. It's smart to make money.
沒有定價。20美元怎麼樣？ There's no price. How about $20?.
那是Marc Jacobs牌的衣服。 只穿過一次。 It's a Marc Jacobs dress. It's been worn once.
-50怎麼樣？ -100。 -Fifty?. -A hundred.
謝謝，我們走吧。 Thank you. Let's go.
-昨晚怎樣？ -很有趣。 -How was Iast night?. -It was fun.
-是嗎？ -你昨晚在幹什麼？ -Yeah?. -What'd you do?.
-看電視。 -你們昨晚和誰在一起？ -Watched TV. -Who were you with Iast night?.
-你知道我看到誰了嗎？ -誰？ -You know who I saw?. -Who?.
我看到 Danny了。 I saw Danny.
-你不認為Astrid會喜歡他嗎？ -不。 -Don't you think Astrid would Iike him?. -No.
Astrid?. Astrid?.
-我是Hannah. 她是 Julie. -你好。 -I'm Hannah. This is Julie. -Hi.
我們去過你的家了。 那位女士說你也許在這裡， 所以... We went to your house. The Iady said you'd be here, so....
我們見過你母親了。 We visit your mother.
她是我們進行的女性研究的課題。 She's our project in Women's Studies.
-她想要幹嘛？ -不是她叫我們來的。 -What does she want?. -She didn't send us.
我們是自己來的。 We came on our own.
她叫我們把這個邀請函給你， 她在Bergamot的作品展。 She asked us to mail you the interview, her show at Bergamot.
我們認為可以把這個給你， 看看也許-- We thought we could deliver it and see if maybe--
-是這個嗎？ -是的。 -Is that it?. -Yeah.
失陪。 Excuse me.
-你們談論什麼？ -什麼都談。藝術，音樂... -What do you talk about?. -AII kinds of things. Art, music....
她經常談到你。 She talks about you.
真的嗎？ Really?.
她說了什麼？ What does she say?.
嗯，她說你在一個... Well, that you're in a--
你知道的，一個收養家庭。 You know, fostered.
對發生的這些，她真的感覺很糟。 Look, she feels really terrible about what's happened.
那你認為你能來幹什麼？ 收養我嗎？ So you thought you'd come out and what?. Adopt me?.
你們認為她沒有殺人， 是嗎？ You don't think she killed him, do you?.
有些事你們應該知道。 Something you should know.
那是她幹的， 那時我在場。 She did. I was there.
夾竹桃是有毒的。 我不知道人們為什麼還要種植它。 Oleander's poisonous. I don't know why people grow it.
-快開門！ -你沒有這個權力！ -Open the door! -How dare you?. You have no right!
他們不能拘留我的。 別擔心，我一小時內會回來。 They can' t keep me. Don't worry, I'II be back in an hour!
畫的是誰？ Who is that?.
我不知道。 I don't know.
-你一直都在畫她。 -我想她的名字是Annie. -You draw her all the time. -I think her name was Annie.
她是我記憶中的某人， 我記不得她到底是誰了。 She's someone I remember. I don't know who she was.
注意了，夥計們。 Check it out, you guys.
Rodeo Drive 的難民。 Rodeo Drive refugee.
請問你是Rena Gruschenko嗎？ Excuse me, are you Rena Gruschenko?.
是Gruschenka。如果你是移民局的， 我已經有綠卡了。 Gruschenka. If you come from INS, I have a green card.
我在這鬼地方找你找了好久了。 I have been all over this junkyard Iooking for you.
你一定就是 Astrid.我是Susan Valeris, 你母親的律師。 You must be Astrid. I'm Susan Valeris, your mother's Iawyer.
抽煙嗎？ Cigarette?.
-不知道為什麼我一直都戒不掉。 -我知道。 -Don't know why I never quit. -I do.
囚犯們都抽煙。 你可以給他們一支。 AII the prisoners smoke. You can offer them one.
對於你沒有退學， 你母親覺得很驕傲。 Your mother's proud of you for not quitting school.
你和快就要畢業了。 你對自己的未來有什麼打算嗎？ You graduate soon. Are you making any plans for your future?.
是的。我想我要成為一名刑事律師。 Yeah. I thought I'd be a criminal Iawyer.
真的嗎？ Really?.
或者當妓女，或者撿垃圾。 Either that or a hooker or garbage collector.
你母親說過你會很艱難的。 Your mother said you'd be difficult.
-母親總是最瞭解。 -你經受了殘酷的考驗。 -Mother knows best. -You've been through a terrible ordeal.
三個收養家庭，槍擊。 收養者的自殺。 Three foster homes, the shooting, the suicide of a foster mother.
我瞭解你的心情。 I understand you were close.
你問過你的委託人她在這裡面的參與嗎？ Did you ask your client about her involvement with that?.
你不能因為和她只見過一面的人的死而責備她。 You can't blame her for the death of a woman she met once.
但是我就是要責備她， Susan. But I do blame her, Susan.
那太憤世嫉俗了，Astrid. That's pretty cynical, Astrid.
你想要我在法庭上為她作偽證， 是嗎？ You want me to Iie for her in court, is that it?.
你為什麼要恨她呢， Astrid?. Why do you hate her, Astrid?.
因為你認為她犯了謀殺罪嗎？ Because you think she committed murder?.
還是因為你感覺被遺棄？ Or because you feel abandoned?.
和她談談，人是會變的。 Talk to her. People do change.
你應該聽聽她是怎麼談到你的。 她為你擔心。 You should hear the way she talks about you. She worries about you.
她叫我來看看你還需要什麼。 She asked me to find out if there's anything you need.
上大學的錢？車子？ Money for college?. Car?.
她還有錢， 只要告訴我你想要什麼。 There's money behind her. Just tell me what you want.
你真是個傻女孩。 You are stupid girl.
你為了懲罰母親， 放棄了金錢。 You walk away from money to punish mother.
你想要買車嗎？ You want car?.
你想要去藝術學院嗎？ 這都需要錢。 You want art college?. AII costs money.
你對這一點也不懂。 Rena， 不要管這個。 You don't know anything about this, Rena, so just stay out of it.
-無論如何，我為你制定了計劃。 -是嗎？什麼計劃？ -I have plan for you, anyway. -Yeah?. What's that?.
Niki很快就要走了。 Niki Ieave soon.
Yvonne 又是個笨女孩。 And Yvonne is stupid girl.
懷了第三個孩子。 Making third baby.
每次她都往窗外看， 看孩子的臉，看孩子離開。 Every time she Iook at the window to see baby's face, baby gone.
然後她就好像很驚訝一樣哭起來。 Then she cries Iike it's a big surprise.
但是你， 你是一個不一樣的女孩 But you, you're a special girl.
你留在這，當我的助手。 You stay, I make you partner.
留在這？ Stay here?.
怎麼了，你有更好的地方去嗎？ What, you got better place to go?.
那就去見你的母親。 Then go see mother.
她需要你。 你也需要她。 She need something from you, you need something from her.
去找她吧。 Go get it.
她來了。 Here she comes.
Astrid，我的天啊！ Astrid, my God!
怎麼了，媽媽？ 你不喜歡我的打扮嗎？ What's wrong, Mom?. You don't Iike my outfit?.
我會讓你們兩個獨自呆會兒。 I'II Ieave you two alone for a while.
好吧，你要我說什麼假話？ 我們沒有去墨西哥買DMSO？ So, what's the story?. We didn't go to Mexico to buy DMSO?.
Barry打了你？他強姦了我？ Barry beat you?. He raped me?.
要把他說得多壞你才能出獄？ How bad does he have to be to get you out of jail?.
我不敢相信你怎麼了。 等我出去了，我會把你弄好。 I can't believe what's happened to you. When I get out, I'II make it up.
誰說你要出去了？ Who said you're getting out?.
我說我要和你談談。 我沒說我要干。 I said I'd talk to you. I didn't say I'd do it.
那你想要什麼？ Then what do you want?.
我們做一個買賣，一個交易。 I have a deal to make. A trade.
你告訴我實情， 我就替你在法庭上作偽證。 You tell me the truth, I'II Iie for you in court.
-關於什麼的實情？ -你不讓我知道的一切。 -The truth about what?. -Everything you kept from me.
-如果我不呢？ -那你就要一直在這裡呆下去。 -And if I don't?. -Then you can rot in here.
順便說一句， 我不喜歡你現在的樣子。 I hate this Iook, by the way.
你就像汽車旅館裡的一個廉價妓女。 You're a Sunset Boulevard motel, a $20 hooker in the back of a car.
你為什麼要殺了Barry？ Why did you murder Barry?.
如果我說了，你就會去作證？ If I submit to this, you'II testify?.
是的。 Yes.
為了自衛。 他想要殺我。 Self-defense. He was killing me.
CIaire 對你並沒怎麼樣。 你為什麼要報復她？ CIaire did nothing to you. Why'd you go after her?.
CIaire 報復她自己。 我只是告訴她要怎麼去做。 CIaire went after herself. I just showed her how to do it.
我父親是誰？ Who was my father?.
你為什麼老是問這個？ 這是個古老的故事了。 Why do you always ask that?. It's ancient history.
這是我的古老故事。 他是誰？ It's my ancient history. Who was he?.
他的名字叫 KIaus Anders. His name was KIaus Anders.
-他是做什麼的？ -他是個藝術家。 -What'd he do?. -He was an artist.
你們怎麼認識的？ How did you meet?.
在威尼斯的海邊，一個晚會上。 他那時吸了毒。 At Venice Beach, at a party. He had the drugs.
你愛他嗎？ Did you Iove him?.
那是很久以前的事了。 我已經不像以前了。 It was a Iong time ago. I'm not the same person.
騙子。你還跟以前一模一樣。 回答這個問題。 Liar. You're exactly the same. Answer the question.
你真是個孩子。 拿我的話當真。 You're such a child, taking my propaganda for truth.
直接一點。 你愛他嗎？ So set me straight. Did you Iove him?.
我們有很好的性關係。 這超出了其他事情。 We had a very sexual relationship. One overlooks many things.
你崇拜他。 我在你日記裡讀到過。 You worshipped him. I read it in your journal.
「崇拜」這個詞用在這裡不合適。 ""Worship"" isn't exactly the word we're Iooking for here.
Annie是誰？ Who is Annie?.
什麼？ What?.
誰是Annie，媽媽？ Who is Annie, Mother?.
她是個鄰居， 幫別人照看小孩的。 She was a neighbor who took in kids, did people's Iaundry.
-她看起來什麼樣？ -膚色比較深，卷髮，有雀斑。 -What did she Iook Iike?. -Dark, curly hair, freckles.
她有照顧我嗎？ Did she take care of me?.
你怎麼可能記得這些？ How can you possibly have remembered this?.
這只會傷害你。 It will only hurt you.
設想一下我的生活。 Imagine my Iife for a moment.
我毫無準備的就成了一個母親。 How unprepared I was to be the mother of a small child.
我需要時間思考， 而你只是想要，想要，想要。 I was used to having time to think and you just wanted, wanted, wanted.
我感覺像是一個人質。 I felt Iike a hostage.
你能瞭解我是多麼的絕望嗎？ Can you understand how desperate I was?.
一天下午， 我把你留在了房子裡... I dropped you off at her house one afternoon...
...然後和一些朋友去了海邊。 ...to go to the beach with some friends.
然後一件事又引出另一件。 And one thing Ied to another.
它們在Ensenada有個地方。 They had a place in Ensenada.
那裡非常棒。 It was wonderful.
你想像不到的。 You can't imagine.
在下午打個盹。 To take a nap in the afternoon...
...只要我想， 可以整天做愛而不用去想 ...to make Iove all day if I wanted and not have to think:
Astrid 在幹什麼？Astrid在哪裡？ 沒有人一直叫著媽媽，媽媽... What's Astrid doing?. Where's Astrid?. Mommy, Mommy...
...那像一隻蜘蛛一樣纏著我 ...clinging to me Iike a spider.
最後，我只是想把你扔到牆上。 At the end, I just wanted to throw you against a wall.
你走了多久？ How Iong were you gone?.
一年左右。 About a year.
也許幾個月。 Give or take a few months.
-我的天啊。 -你問的事不該問的問題。 -My God. -You're not asking the right question.
別問我為什麼離開。 問問我問什麼回來。 Don't ask me why I Ieft. Ask me why I came back.
你不該這樣做。 You should've been sterilized.
我本可以把你留在那的。 但是我沒有。 I could've Ieft you there but I didn't.
你知道嗎？ 我做了一次正確的事。 Don't you understand?. For once, I did the right thing.
當我回來的時候， 你認得我， When I came back, you knew me.
你坐在門邊。 看著我向我伸出雙手。 You were sitting by the door. You Iooked up and you reached for me.
就好像你一直都在等我一樣。 It was as if you'd been waiting for me all along.
我一直都在等著你。 那是我生命中不變的。 I was always waiting for you. That's the constant in my Iife.
等著你。 你會回來嗎？ Waiting for you. Will you come back?.
你會把我忘在商店裡或是公車上嗎？ Will you forget that you tied me up in front of a store or Ieft me on a bus?.
-你還在等待嗎？ -不。 -Are you still waiting?. -No.
當CIaire是我知道被愛是什麼感覺的時候起， 這就結束了。 I stopped when CIaire showed me what it felt Iike to be Ioved.
你是怎麼想的？ 我要使你愉快嗎？ What did you think?. That I would amuse you?.
孩子就是那樣的，媽媽。 That's what babies are Iike, Mother.
你認為我們應該談論Joseph Brodsky嗎？ Did you think we'd talk about Joseph Brodsky?.
我以為KIaus 和我會生活得很愉快。 I thought KIaus and I would Iive happily ever after.
亞當和夏娃在葡萄園裡生活。 那時我失去理智了。 Adam and Eve in a vine-covered shack. I was crazy.
-你愛上他了。 -是的。 -You were in Iove with him. -I was, all right?.
我愛上他了。 是孩子使我愛上了他。 I was in Iove with him, baby makes three and all that crap.
那你為什麼要離開他？ Then why did you Ieave him?.
-為什麼你又要離開他？ -我沒有離開他，是他拋棄了我。 -Why did you Ieave him?. -I didn't Ieave him. He Ieft me.
你想知道關於你父親？ You wanna know about your father?.
在你六個月大的時候， 他為了另一個女人離開了我們。 He Ieft us when you were six months old for another woman.
我再也沒有看到過他， 知道你8歲的時候他來看你。 I never saw him again until he came Iooking for you when you were 8.
-他來看我？ -是的。 -He came to see me?. -Yes, he did.
但那太遲了。在他對我做了這些之後， 我為什麼要讓他看你。 But it was too Iate. Why should I Iet him see you after what he did to me?.
那不是為了你！那是為了我。 我想要見他！ It wasn't about you! It was about me and I wanted to see him!
我一直都想見到他。 那時我的決定，不是你的！ My whole Iife I've wanted to see him. That decision was mine, not yours!
什麼事都是你的。 從來就沒有關於我的事。 Everything's always been about you, never about me.
我早就知道你要殺了Barry, 但是你都不在乎。 I knew you were gonna kill Barry, but you didn't even care.
你根本就不在乎那對我會有什麼影響。 You didn't give a damn about what that would do to me.
我會說Susan想要說的一切。 但是我現在要走了。 I'II say whatever Susan wants, but I gotta go.
你不能就這樣離開我。 我生了你。你流著我的血。 You don't just walk away from me. I made you. I'm in your blood.
你不能去任何地方， 除非我讓你去。 You don't go anywhere until I Iet you go.
那就讓我走。 Then Iet me go.
你看著我， 你並不喜歡你所看到的。 You Iook at me and you don't Iike what you see.
但這就是代價，媽媽。 屬於你而需要付出的代價。 But this is the price, Mother. The price of belonging to you.
如果可能，我會讓這一切從來。 If I could, I'd take it all back.
我會的。 I would.
那就告訴我你不需要我作證。 Then tell me you don't want me to testify.
告訴我你不要我這樣做。 Tell me you don't want me Iike this.
告訴我你會放棄你的餘生。 Tell me you would sacrifice the rest of your Iife...
...為了使我變恢復原來的樣子。 ...to have me back the way I was.
聽著，忘了這吧。交易就是交易。 Listen, forget it. A deal's a deal.
讓我們就到這吧。 Let's just Ieave it at that.
抱歉。 也許這會浪費你的時間... Excuse me. It's probably a waste of time...
...但是我在找一個過去常來這的人， 他的名字是Paul Trout. ...but I'm Iooking for someone who used to come here. His name's Paul Trout.
-你是Astrid?. -是的。 -You Astrid?. -Yeah.
他說過你會來的。 He said you'd turn up.
謝謝。 Thanks.
-怎麼了？ -不知道。 -What's going on?. -I don't know.
-請問現在是休庭嗎？ -不，陪審團都出來了。 -Excuse me. Is it a recess?. -No. Jury's out.
你不需要我作證了？ Don't you need me to testify?.
你母親告訴我讓你獨自一個人。 Your mother told me to Ieave you alone.
怎麼了？ What happened?.
她讓我走了。 She Iet me go.
Paul和我搬到紐約兩年後... Two years after Paul and I moved to New York...
...我收到的我媽媽寫的一封信。 ...I received a letter from my mother.
裡面是洛杉磯時代雜誌， 封面上是我媽媽。 In it was the Los Angeles Times Magazine, my mother on the cover.
Santa Monica的一個畫廊舉辦了她的作品展。 A Santa Monica gallery had mounted a showing of her work.
雜誌裡面有七頁... The Times included seven pages...
...是關於她在獄中不懈的創作的。 ...of her hauntingly distant prison collages.
在封面上她向外看著， 囚室的欄杆在她身後。 She stares out from the cover, the bars of her cell behind her.
美麗。 Beautiful.
危險。 Dangerous.
自豪。 Proud.
書裡說她就要贏得第一次上訴失敗後的又一次複審。 The Times said she was close to winning a retrial after a first failed appeal.
他們說她獲得了勝利。 They called her show a triumph.
很難想像她是如何調節憂傷和快樂的時刻... It's too much to imagine her tempering her joy with a moment of grief...
...為那個勝利所付出的時刻。 ...a moment for what that triumph had cost.
這個衣箱是那鄉村的寫照... These suitcases are a map of that country...
...一個可怕的鄉村， 我再也不會去了。 ...a terrible country I will never revisit.
即使這樣... Even so...
...我發現我還是想著她... ...I find myself thinking of her...
... 想要感覺那風。 ... wanting to feel that wind.
這是一個秘密的希望... It's a secret wanting...
...像一首我無法停止哼的歌曲... ...Iike a song I can 't stop humming...
...或者愛著你不可能擁有的某人。 ...or loving someone you can never have.
無論她傷害我有多深... No matter how much she 's damaged me...
...無論她有多少缺點... ...no matter how flawed she is...
...我知道我媽媽還是愛著我的。 ...I know my mother loves me.
謝謝觀賞
[ENGLISH]