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读者们经常这么说
readers have often said that

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我的小说很好地吸引了他们
my novels do a very good job of hooking them

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让他们无法把
and making it impossible for them to put

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放下书
down the book

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在这个视频中
so in this video

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我将展示帮助你的6个步骤
I'll be showing my 6 step process for helping you

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立即吸引读者
immediately hook your readers

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在第一页
on page 1

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你的故事
of your story

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这样他们就不想放下你的书了
so that they don't want to put your book down

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在行动中展示这些原则
to show these principles in action

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我也会帮助迈克尔
I'll also be helping Michael

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谁是初出茅庐的年轻作家
who is a young writer who is just starting out in

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他的作家之旅
his author journey

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改善他的开篇
improve his opening pages

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你觉得你最纠结的是什么
what would you say you're struggling with the most

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一切
everything

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实际上我有
I actually had

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18位作家给我寄来了他们的开篇
18 writers send in their opening pages to me

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我在我的社区里放了个链接
after I put up a link in my community section

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所以，感谢你们所有勇敢的灵魂的贡献
so thank you to all your brave souls for contributing

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我读了很多你的故事
I read through a lot of your stories and the

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我将在这个视频中分享六个步骤
six steps I'm about to share in this video

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实际上来自
actually come from

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看到了那种常见的错误
seeing the kind of common mistakes that kept

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出现在所有这些故事中
cropping up in all these stories

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第一步，从故事的缩影开始
step No. 1 start with the story in miniature

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所以我的理论是好的开口基本上是
so I have this theory that good openings are basically

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开口的地方
openings where

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作者了解整个故事的内容
the author understands what the entire story is about

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然后把它压缩
and then they compress it down

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变成了一个短篇故事
into almost like a short story

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他们更广泛叙述的版本
version of their wider narrative

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这是经典之作
so a classic

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比如《夺宝奇兵》的开头
example here is the opening of Indiana Jones

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以及《夺宝奇兵
and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

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这是我最喜欢的电影之一
one of my favorite movies of all time

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更广泛的电影是关于一个
the wider film is about a

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勇敢的考古学家
plucky archeologist who is basically

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穿越这些危险的陷阱
navigating all these dangerous traps and

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找出路径
figuring out pathways

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通过这些不同的神话和传说
through these different myths and legends

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为了找到这些
in order to find these

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保护它们不被那些
treasures and keep them safe from people who

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试图利用他们来获取权力或金钱
seek to exploit them for power or for money

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现在，这个开头给出了整个结构
now the opening gives you that entire structure

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只是被压缩成一个10分钟的版本
just compressed down into a short 10 minute version

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为什么这么有效呢
why is this so effective well by having a

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像这样独特的开场
distinct opening scene like this with a

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非常清晰的开头、中间和结尾
very clear beginning middle and end

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它向你的读者展示你知道如何组织a
it shows your readers that you know how to structure a

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有凝聚力的叙述
cohesive narrative

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你正在赢得他们的信任
you're earning their trust

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这也是最好的方式来清楚地建立你的
it's also the best way to clearly establish your

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故事的基调和风格
tone and the kind of style of the story

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读者喜欢这个小小的
readers like this little

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你要给他们开样
opening sample you're giving them

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他们很可能会这么做
and they're probably going to

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请欣赏小说的其余部分
enjoy the rest of the novel as well

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这其实是迈克尔做的
this is actually something that Michael did

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在他的第一页上写得很好
quite well on his opening page

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我将在描述中链接到它
which I'll link to in the description

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如果你想看的话
if you want to check that out

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迈克尔写了一个关于这两个人的奇幻故事
Michael has written a fantasy story about these two

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兄弟姐妹底比斯
sibling Thebes

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以浮动的亚洲城市为背景
set in a floating Asian inspired city

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就像世界上大多数人一样
like most people in this world

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这两个
these two

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底比斯人的手掌上有这些星星
Thebes have these stars on the palms of their hands

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给他们不同的元素能力
give them different elemental abilities

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你做得很好
you have done a really great job of

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捕捉故事的缩影
capturing the story in miniature

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随着你在这里的开业
with your opening here

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你知道你的故事是从两个小偷开始的
you know your story opens with two thieves that

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是逃避
are escaping

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在他们的任务出错后，从一个燃烧的大厦
from a burning mansion after their mission goes wrong

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这很像
and that's pretty much like what

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你的故事是关于一个整体的主题层面
your story is about on a thematic level as a whole

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它不一定总是1比1
it doesn't always have to be like a 1 to one

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就是把你的故事复制一遍
thing where you make an exact copy of your wider story

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但它更像是
but it's more about just like

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告诉读者，这就是你所期待的
showing readers hey this is what you can expect

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这是
this is the

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我要为你写的故事类型
type of story that I'm going to write for you

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你可以把这个变成偶数
the way that you could take this to an even

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更大的层面是
bigger level is to

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试着去表达一些更广泛的东西
really try to express some of the kind of wider things

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你的故事是在这个开头探索的
that your story is exploring in this opening

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第二步，表现出有魄力的性格
step No. 2 show a character with agency

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独特性和动量
uniqueness and momentum

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代理意味着你的性格
agency means your character

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正在做的
is doing

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让他们朝着目标前进的东西
something that progresses them towards their goal

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独特性意味着他们在做决定
uniqueness means that they are making decisions and

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选择,
choices that

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95%的角色都不适合
95 percent of all the characters wouldn't make

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最后，动量意味着它们
and then lastly momentum means that they are

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在追求有趣事物的过程中
in the process of pursuing something interesting

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他们不只是站着
they're not just standing around

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等待故事发生
waiting for the story to happen

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这并不意味着他们必须是
that doesn't mean they have to be

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身体上追求他们的目标
physically pursuing their goals

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像是追逐场景之类的
like a chase scene or something

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他们也可能是口头上的
they could also be verbally

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或者是情感上的追求
or kind of emotionally trying to pursue something

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比如一个角色想找份工作
as well for example a character trying to get a job

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为什么有这三个特点
now why these three traits

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我认为这三个特点非常重要
well I think these three traits are really important

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因为目标的开启
because the goal of the opening

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是真的
is to really

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让你的读者对你的角色感兴趣
get your readers invested in your character

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尽可能快
as quickly as possible

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并且有一个代理的角色
and having a character with agency

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独特性和动量
uniqueness and momentum

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真的很好
is a really good

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让读者感兴趣的捷径
shortcut for getting readers interested

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在你的故事里他们是怎么做的
in what they're doing when it comes to your story

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就像你已经抓住了9的动量
like you've nailed the momentum aspect with 9

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因为我们被抛弃了
because we're thrown

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直接冲进着火的大楼里
literally into the middle of a burning building

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在她抢劫的时候
while she's doing her heist

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独特的一面也表现得很好
and the uniqueness aspect also comes across quite well

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当她说
when she's talking about

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太烦人了
it's so annoying

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为什么我在里面的时候房子总是着火
how buildings always catch fire when I'm in them

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是的，那真的很棒，我喜欢
yeah that was really great I like that

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我认为你在这里做得很好，就像
what I think you've done here really well is like

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基于个性的独特性
personality based uniqueness

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我也希望看到一些基于动作的独特性
I'd love to also see some action based uniqueness

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你在玩这个
you're playing this

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一定程度上是因为她有点鲁莽
to a small extent with how she's a little bit reckless

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如果你能晚点再来就好了
later it would be good if you can

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再强调一点来显示
emphasize that a bit more to show

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像这样的角色会做
that like this is a character who's gonna do

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行动和
actions and

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和大多数人不同的反应
responses that are sort of different to most

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故事中的其他人物
other characters in the story

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第三步:探索有意义的内部冲突
step 3 explore meaningful internal conflict

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在你的性格里
within your character

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在电影里
in a movie

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你可以通过身体上的动作有一个很好的开始
you can have a great opening just with physical action

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现在你也可以试着在书中这样做
now you can try to do that in a book as well

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但效果不会那么好
but it won't be as effective

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因为你没有视觉效果和音乐
because you don't have the visuals and the music

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以及其他独特的电影元素
and the other unique elements of film to rely upon

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相反，如果你真的想吸引读者
instead if you really want to hook readers

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快速介绍是很重要的
it's so important to quickly introduce

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有意义的内部冲突
meaningful internal conflict

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在一个角色中
within a character

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他们在反抗什么
what are they struggling against

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是什么欲望在他们心中竞争
what desires are competing within them

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多么紧张的局势正威胁着要把他们分开
what tensions are threatening to tear them apart

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所以机构的独特性和动力
so agency uniqueness and momentum

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这些真的很重要
these are really important to

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开始吸引读者
start the process of hooking readers

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但是为了把钩子固定住
but in order to actually cement that hook

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让读者全身心投入到下一篇文章中
and get readers fully invested for the next

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他们生命中的10个小时
10 hours of their life

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你真的需要朝
you really need to be moving towards

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展示一些有意义的东西
showing some meaningful

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内部冲突和斗争
internal conflict and struggle

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在你的性格里
within your character

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我想说这可能就是那个
I would say this is probably the one

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这是你开口时压力最大的地方
area where your opening forced down the most

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目前
at the moment

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除了…之外
aside from 9 being

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大楼总是着火，我有点烦
kind of annoyed that buildings always catch fire

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在她身边，这很好
around her which is good

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她觉得开头几页有点空白
she feels a little blank in these opening pages

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你能再加几个句子来说明吗
can you add a few extra sentences to show

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为什么抢劫对她这么重要
why the heist is so important to her

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如果她偷不到这个东西会怎么样
what happens if she fails to steal this item

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你真得把它弄得
you really need to make that something that

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读者会觉得自己投入了
readers feel invested in

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我绝对认为抚养
I definitely think bringing up

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你知道
you know

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她的父亲和她做这些的原因
her father and the reason that she's doing these

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犯罪活动
criminal activity

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我想这是她最大的恐惧
it's really her biggest fear I think

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4 .提出有趣的问题
step 4 raise interesting questions

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最终你想做的是
ultimately what you want to be doing with the

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打开你小说的几页
opening couple of pages in your novel

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打开一堆问题循环，你在哪里
is opening a bunch of question loops where you

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提出问题，稍后再回答
raise a question and then a bit later on you answer it

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这是一个完整的循环
that is a complete loop

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现在你想要一个组合
now you want to have a combination of kind of

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冗长的问题贯穿你的小说
long question loops throughout your novel

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例如，你可能有一个谋杀发生了
for example you might have a murder that takes place

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在书的开头
at the start of the book

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这个问题没有得到解决
that doesn't get resolved

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没有得到回答，问题循环就结束了
doesn't get answered and the question loop closed

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直到小说的结尾
until the end of the novel

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然而
however

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一些较短的问题循环也很重要
it's also important to have some shorter question loops

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这样你就可以持续
so that you can continuously

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给读者一种进步的感觉
give readers the sense of progression

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并得到回报
and pay off

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你可以把问题循环想象成
you can kind of think of question loops as having

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三个不同的部分
three distinct parts

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这就是承诺
there is the promise

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这个问题是什么时候提出的
which is when the question is set up

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这就是进展
there is the progression

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人物在哪里努力寻找答案
where the characters work towards finding an answer

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然后就是回报了
and then there is the payoff

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答案在哪里
where the answer is revealed

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现在这
now this

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并不一定意味着你要介绍
doesn't necessarily mean you have to introduce the

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你的故事的整体问题弧
overall question arc of your story

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马上
right away

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事实上，这通常是一种非常有效的技巧
in fact it's usually quite an effective technique

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用你小说的前25%
to spend the first 25 percent of your novel

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使用简短的问句
using shorter question

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循环只是为了让读者投入足够的精力
loops just to get readers invested enough

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这样你就可以用
so that then you can actually unload on them with the

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真正的问题
true question

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你的故事是关于
your story is about

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A真的很好
a really good

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第一部《哈利波特》就是一个例子
example of this is the first Harry Potter book

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你不需要
you don't really

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进入故事的更广泛的问题
get to the wider questions of the story

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直到
until

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大概在第1部分的结尾已经讲了25%了
about the end of part 1 25 percent of the way through

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但在开篇的几章中
but in the opening couple of chapters

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罗琳基本上给了我们一堆小问题
Rowling basically gives us a bunch of smaller question

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循环等
loops like

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为什么哈利会收到这么多奇怪的信
why is Harry getting all these weird letters

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基本上就是用这些小问题
and it's basically using these smaller question

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循环是一种
loops as a way to just

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快速吸引读者
quickly draw readers in

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给他们进步和回报的感觉
giving them the sense of progression and payoff by

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回答这些
answering these

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在相对较短的时间内回答问题
questions in a relatively rapid span of time

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这就引出了一个更广泛的问题
and then that gets us to the wider question of

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1 .霍格沃茨
1 teaser Hogwarts

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你要怎么应付那里的生活
how are you gonna deal with life there

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其中最先进的
one of the advanced

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我向你推荐的技巧
techniques that I would recommend with your

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问题循环是
question loops is to

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真正考虑什么
really consider what

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读者感兴趣的问题
questions readers are interested in

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纯粹的类型，比如幻想
pure genre so for example in fantasy

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通常读者都很感兴趣
usually readers are very interested in

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魔法和世界
the magic and the world

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也许还喜欢政治
and maybe like the politics

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所以你应该提出这样的问题
so you should be raising questions that sort of

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读者对这些类别最感兴趣
peak readers interests in those categories

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5 .晚一点开始
step 5 start late

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早退别跟性格扯上关系
leave early don't start with the character

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像吃早餐一样醒来
waking up like having breakfast

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刷牙在外面散步
brushing their teeth walking outside

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然后被攻击
and then getting attacked

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从他们再次被攻击开始
just start with them getting attacked again

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在那一瞬间，平凡的世界
in the instant that the ordinary world

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被打乱，事情开始改变
is disrupted and that things start changing

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在你开场的那一刻
and in the instant that your opening scene

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00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:07,966
可以完成
can be finished

257
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总结一下
wrap it up

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《黑暗骑士》就是一个很好的例子
The Dark Knight is a perfect example of this

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00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,500
它就在银行最高的时候开始
it starts right when a bank highest begins

260
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它没有显示事先准备了10分钟
it doesn't show 10 minutes of preparation beforehand

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直接投入到行动中
just gets right into the action

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然后就结束了
and then it ends

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就在你向我们保证我们会看到这个之后
just after promising us that we're gonna see this

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以小丑的形式出现的聪明狡猾的恶棍
brilliant cunning villain in the form of the Joker

265
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任何杀不死你的，只会让你活下去
whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you

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陌生人
stranger

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迈克尔·斯托里在这方面做得很好
this is something Michael Story did really well

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他真的是从主角开始的
he literally starts with the main character

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跌跌撞撞地走出着火的房间
stumbling out of a burning room

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在一栋楼里
in a building

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她想偷点什么东西
that she's trying to steal something from

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就像她跳出来的那一瞬间
and it ends like the instant that she jumps out of

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那栋大楼
that building

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第六步，用你的开场白来制造好奇心
step number 6 craft curiosity with your opening line

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当你写初稿的时候
when you write your first draft

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我觉得你不用担心开场白
I don't think you should worry about your opening line

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当你回来编辑的时候
that much once you were coming back to edit

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00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,733
我觉得你应该认真花钱
I think you should seriously spend

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00:07:49,766 --> 00:07:51,300
在第一线待了几个小时
hours on that first line

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00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:53,666
因为事实是，大多数读者
because the fact is that the majority of readers

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不打算给你的书超过10分吗
are not going to give your book more than 10

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到15秒
to 15 seconds

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所以如果你不去勾引他们
so if you're not hooking them and

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给人第一印象
giving a first impression

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00:07:58,933 --> 00:08:00,666
就在第一句话里
right away in that first sentence

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00:08:00,866 --> 00:08:02,333
他们可能会去别的地方
they're probably going to move on to something else

287
00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:02,700
然而
however

288
00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:04,800
说你不只是想要一个噱头
saying that you don't just want to have a gimmicky

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事实上是第一行
first line in fact

290
00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:06,533
一些最伟大的
some of the greatest

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00:08:06,533 --> 00:08:08,733
我读过的开场白都开门见山
opening lines I've read just get straight to the point

292
00:08:08,733 --> 00:08:10,100
他们不担心是否聪明
they don't worry about being clever

293
00:08:10,166 --> 00:08:11,566
他们只是把你扔进故事里
they just throw you into the story

294
00:08:11,766 --> 00:08:14,000
比如《红龙》的开场白
for example the opening line of Red Dragon

295
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,966
汉尼拔·莱克特的第一部小说是哪一部
which is the first Hannibal Lecter novel

296
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,266
是这样的
goes something like this

297
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,700
格雷厄姆会在野餐桌上解雇克劳福德吗
Will Graham sack Crawford down at a picnic table

298
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,000
在房子和大海之间
between the house and the ocean

299
00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:22,666
给了他一杯冰茶
and gave him a glass of ice tea

300
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:24,366
简单无预紧
simple no pretension

301
00:08:24,466 --> 00:08:26,266
能让故事马上展开
just gets the story moving right away

302
00:08:26,266 --> 00:08:26,666
基本上
basically

303
00:08:26,666 --> 00:08:28,300
你要做的就是用你的开场白
what you want to do with your opening line is take

304
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:28,933
所有之前的
all the previous

305
00:08:28,933 --> 00:08:31,466
我提到的五个步骤，把它们压缩下来
five steps I've mentioned and compress them down

306
00:08:31,533 --> 00:08:32,200
进入太空
into the space

307
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:33,200
开头那句话
of that opening line

308
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,733
或者开头的几句话
or your opening couple of sentences

309
00:08:34,733 --> 00:08:35,200
事实上
and in fact

310
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,066
如果你按照前面的五个步骤来做
if you follow the previous five steps in order

311
00:08:37,066 --> 00:08:38,866
你可能会找到你的开场白
you'll probably find your opening line

312
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:39,933
几乎不用担心
almost takes care of itself

313
00:08:39,933 --> 00:08:41,266
举个我自己书里的例子
to give an example from my own book

314
00:08:41,266 --> 00:08:42,366
穿过破碎的星星
across the Broken Stars

315
00:08:42,366 --> 00:08:43,966
莱昂讨厌瓦里安的飞艇
Leon hated Varian airships

316
00:08:43,966 --> 00:08:46,166
但卸完货后，我在他桌上放了啤酒
but since unloading them put beers on his table

317
00:08:46,166 --> 00:08:48,166
他拿起板条箱时假装笑了笑
he faked a smile as he picked up the crate

318
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:49,300
这里你可以看到开口
here you can see the opening

319
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:49,500
狮子
Lion

320
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,400
遵循我之前讨论过的所有步骤
follows all the previous steps that I've discussed

321
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,266
这是整个故事的缩影
it shows the whole story in miniature

322
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:53,600
因为
because

323
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,066
里昂基本上是在隐藏自己的本性
Leon is basically having to hide his true nature

324
00:08:56,066 --> 00:08:58,533
从那些殖民了他的国家的人那里
from the verions who have colonized his nation

325
00:08:58,533 --> 00:09:00,133
第二，他有代理权
No. 2 he's got agency

326
00:09:00,133 --> 00:09:02,133
尽管他在为别人工作
even though he is sort of working for someone else

327
00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:03,866
他实际上是在做一些体力活动
he is actually doing something physically

328
00:09:03,866 --> 00:09:05,966
第三，他很独特，因为
No. 3 he's got uniqueness because

329
00:09:06,133 --> 00:09:07,600
你知道他实际上有
you know he is actually having

330
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,533
思想和行为截然不同
thoughts that are very different to his actions

331
00:09:09,533 --> 00:09:11,166
他也有动力，因为他
he's also got momentum because he's

332
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,366
实际做一件事
actually doing a thing

333
00:09:12,366 --> 00:09:13,866
他不只是坐在那里思考
he's not just sitting around thinking

334
00:09:13,866 --> 00:09:16,600
最后，他有很有意义的内部冲突
and then lastly he's got meaningful internal conflict

335
00:09:16,933 --> 00:09:18,533
憎恨和鄙视变种人
hates and despises the varians

336
00:09:18,533 --> 00:09:19,966
但还是得为他们工作
but still has to work for them

337
00:09:19,966 --> 00:09:21,566
有点讨厌自己
and kind of resents himself for

338
00:09:21,666 --> 00:09:22,400
不得不这么做
having to do this

339
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:23,166
它也没有
it also goes without

340
00:09:23,166 --> 00:09:24,600
说你需要放很多
saying that you need to put a ton of

341
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,666
努力使你的开场白符合语法
effort into making your opening line as grammatically

342
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:29,766
完美，易于阅读，尽可能流畅
perfect and easy to read and as flowing as possible

343
00:09:29,766 --> 00:09:31,533
这里没有打字错误的借口
there are zero excuses for typos here

344
00:09:31,533 --> 00:09:33,100
所以把它应用到迈克尔的故事中
so applying that to Michael's story

345
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:34,766
这是他最初写下的
here is what he initially wrote down

346
00:09:34,766 --> 00:09:35,666
在他的开场白中
in his opening lines

347
00:09:35,666 --> 00:09:36,566
9埃莉诺
9 Eleanor

348
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:37,166
堵住通过
gagged through

349
00:09:37,166 --> 00:09:39,066
烟绝对不是她制造的
smoke that she absolutely did not create

350
00:09:39,266 --> 00:09:41,466
年轻的火焰低低地看着她的背影
staying low young flames looked her back as she

351
00:09:41,466 --> 00:09:42,800
从燃烧的房间里冲了出来
dashed from the burning room

352
00:09:42,966 --> 00:09:44,533
为什么建筑物总是会着火
why do buildings always have to catch fire

353
00:09:44,533 --> 00:09:45,700
当她在里面的时候
when she was inside them

354
00:09:45,866 --> 00:09:46,900
这不是她的错
it wasn't her fault

355
00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:48,766
我建议改成这样
I suggested changing that to this

356
00:09:48,933 --> 00:09:50,666
我摇摇晃晃地走出燃烧的房间
9 staggered out of the burning room

357
00:09:50,666 --> 00:09:51,866
被烟呛到
gagging on the smoke

358
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:54,266
当她跌进走廊时，火焰看着她的后背
flames looked to her back as she fell into the hallway

359
00:09:54,533 --> 00:09:55,366
为什么房子总是
why did houses always

360
00:09:55,366 --> 00:09:57,133
她在里面的时候还得着火吗
have to catch fire when she was inside them

361
00:09:57,133 --> 00:09:59,133
希望你们能看到它流动得更好一些
hopefully what you can see is it flows a bit better

362
00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:00,100
它更活跃一些
it's a bit more active

363
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,733
我们马上就有了更多的动力
and we immediately start with a bit more momentum

364
00:10:02,733 --> 00:10:03,533
因为
because

365
00:10:03,666 --> 00:10:06,400
从第一句话开始就是惊人的吗
is staggering right away from the very first sentence

366
00:10:06,766 --> 00:10:08,600
这让我大吃一惊，所以
that just blew my mind so

367
00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:11,333
我会经常想这件事的
I'm gonna be thinking about that a lot

368
00:10:11,466 --> 00:10:13,466
以上就是我的六个步骤
so those are my six steps to craft a great

369
00:10:13,466 --> 00:10:15,000
打开吸引读者的页面
opening page that hooks your readers

370
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:15,666
感谢收看
thanks for watching

371
00:10:17,666 --> 00:10:17,700
如果你喜欢这个视频，你可能会喜欢这个
if you enjoyed this video you might like this one

372
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,166
干杯，下个视频见
cheers and I'll see you in the next video