读者们经常这么说 readers have often said that
我的小说很好地吸引了他们 my novels do a very good job of hooking them
让他们无法把 and making it impossible for them to put
放下书 down the book
在这个视频中 so in this video
我将展示帮助你的6个步骤 I'll be showing my 6 step process for helping you
立即吸引读者 immediately hook your readers
在第一页 on page 1
你的故事 of your story
这样他们就不想放下你的书了 so that they don't want to put your book down
在行动中展示这些原则 to show these principles in action
我也会帮助迈克尔 I'll also be helping Michael
谁是初出茅庐的年轻作家 who is a young writer who is just starting out in
他的作家之旅 his author journey
改善他的开篇 improve his opening pages
你觉得你最纠结的是什么 what would you say you're struggling with the most
一切 everything
实际上我有 I actually had
18位作家给我寄来了他们的开篇 18 writers send in their opening pages to me
我在我的社区里放了个链接 after I put up a link in my community section
所以，感谢你们所有勇敢的灵魂的贡献 so thank you to all your brave souls for contributing
我读了很多你的故事 I read through a lot of your stories and the
我将在这个视频中分享六个步骤 six steps I'm about to share in this video
实际上来自 actually come from
看到了那种常见的错误 seeing the kind of common mistakes that kept
出现在所有这些故事中 cropping up in all these stories
第一步，从故事的缩影开始 step No. 1 start with the story in miniature
所以我的理论是好的开口基本上是 so I have this theory that good openings are basically
开口的地方 openings where
作者了解整个故事的内容 the author understands what the entire story is about
然后把它压缩 and then they compress it down
变成了一个短篇故事 into almost like a short story
他们更广泛叙述的版本 version of their wider narrative
这是经典之作 so a classic
比如《夺宝奇兵》的开头 example here is the opening of Indiana Jones
以及《夺宝奇兵 and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
这是我最喜欢的电影之一 one of my favorite movies of all time
更广泛的电影是关于一个 the wider film is about a
勇敢的考古学家 plucky archeologist who is basically
穿越这些危险的陷阱 navigating all these dangerous traps and
找出路径 figuring out pathways
通过这些不同的神话和传说 through these different myths and legends
为了找到这些 in order to find these
保护它们不被那些 treasures and keep them safe from people who
试图利用他们来获取权力或金钱 seek to exploit them for power or for money
现在，这个开头给出了整个结构 now the opening gives you that entire structure
只是被压缩成一个10分钟的版本 just compressed down into a short 10 minute version
为什么这么有效呢 why is this so effective well by having a
像这样独特的开场 distinct opening scene like this with a
非常清晰的开头、中间和结尾 very clear beginning middle and end
它向你的读者展示你知道如何组织a it shows your readers that you know how to structure a
有凝聚力的叙述 cohesive narrative
你正在赢得他们的信任 you're earning their trust
这也是最好的方式来清楚地建立你的 it's also the best way to clearly establish your
故事的基调和风格 tone and the kind of style of the story
读者喜欢这个小小的 readers like this little
你要给他们开样 opening sample you're giving them
他们很可能会这么做 and they're probably going to
请欣赏小说的其余部分 enjoy the rest of the novel as well
这其实是迈克尔做的 this is actually something that Michael did
在他的第一页上写得很好 quite well on his opening page
我将在描述中链接到它 which I'll link to in the description
如果你想看的话 if you want to check that out
迈克尔写了一个关于这两个人的奇幻故事 Michael has written a fantasy story about these two
兄弟姐妹底比斯 sibling Thebes
以浮动的亚洲城市为背景 set in a floating Asian inspired city
就像世界上大多数人一样 like most people in this world
这两个 these two
底比斯人的手掌上有这些星星 Thebes have these stars on the palms of their hands
给他们不同的元素能力 give them different elemental abilities
你做得很好 you have done a really great job of
捕捉故事的缩影 capturing the story in miniature
随着你在这里的开业 with your opening here
你知道你的故事是从两个小偷开始的 you know your story opens with two thieves that
是逃避 are escaping
在他们的任务出错后，从一个燃烧的大厦 from a burning mansion after their mission goes wrong
这很像 and that's pretty much like what
你的故事是关于一个整体的主题层面 your story is about on a thematic level as a whole
它不一定总是1比1 it doesn't always have to be like a 1 to one
就是把你的故事复制一遍 thing where you make an exact copy of your wider story
但它更像是 but it's more about just like
告诉读者，这就是你所期待的 showing readers hey this is what you can expect
这是 this is the
我要为你写的故事类型 type of story that I'm going to write for you
你可以把这个变成偶数 the way that you could take this to an even
更大的层面是 bigger level is to
试着去表达一些更广泛的东西 really try to express some of the kind of wider things
你的故事是在这个开头探索的 that your story is exploring in this opening
第二步，表现出有魄力的性格 step No. 2 show a character with agency
独特性和动量 uniqueness and momentum
代理意味着你的性格 agency means your character
正在做的 is doing
让他们朝着目标前进的东西 something that progresses them towards their goal
独特性意味着他们在做决定 uniqueness means that they are making decisions and
选择, choices that
95%的角色都不适合 95 percent of all the characters wouldn't make
最后，动量意味着它们 and then lastly momentum means that they are
在追求有趣事物的过程中 in the process of pursuing something interesting
他们不只是站着 they're not just standing around
等待故事发生 waiting for the story to happen
这并不意味着他们必须是 that doesn't mean they have to be
身体上追求他们的目标 physically pursuing their goals
像是追逐场景之类的 like a chase scene or something
他们也可能是口头上的 they could also be verbally
或者是情感上的追求 or kind of emotionally trying to pursue something
比如一个角色想找份工作 as well for example a character trying to get a job
为什么有这三个特点 now why these three traits
我认为这三个特点非常重要 well I think these three traits are really important
因为目标的开启 because the goal of the opening
是真的 is to really
让你的读者对你的角色感兴趣 get your readers invested in your character
尽可能快 as quickly as possible
并且有一个代理的角色 and having a character with agency
独特性和动量 uniqueness and momentum
真的很好 is a really good
让读者感兴趣的捷径 shortcut for getting readers interested
在你的故事里他们是怎么做的 in what they're doing when it comes to your story
就像你已经抓住了9的动量 like you've nailed the momentum aspect with 9
因为我们被抛弃了 because we're thrown
直接冲进着火的大楼里 literally into the middle of a burning building
在她抢劫的时候 while she's doing her heist
独特的一面也表现得很好 and the uniqueness aspect also comes across quite well
当她说 when she's talking about
太烦人了 it's so annoying
为什么我在里面的时候房子总是着火 how buildings always catch fire when I'm in them
是的，那真的很棒，我喜欢 yeah that was really great I like that
我认为你在这里做得很好，就像 what I think you've done here really well is like
基于个性的独特性 personality based uniqueness
我也希望看到一些基于动作的独特性 I'd love to also see some action based uniqueness
你在玩这个 you're playing this
一定程度上是因为她有点鲁莽 to a small extent with how she's a little bit reckless
如果你能晚点再来就好了 later it would be good if you can
再强调一点来显示 emphasize that a bit more to show
像这样的角色会做 that like this is a character who's gonna do
行动和 actions and
和大多数人不同的反应 responses that are sort of different to most
故事中的其他人物 other characters in the story
第三步:探索有意义的内部冲突 step 3 explore meaningful internal conflict
在你的性格里 within your character
在电影里 in a movie
你可以通过身体上的动作有一个很好的开始 you can have a great opening just with physical action
现在你也可以试着在书中这样做 now you can try to do that in a book as well
但效果不会那么好 but it won't be as effective
因为你没有视觉效果和音乐 because you don't have the visuals and the music
以及其他独特的电影元素 and the other unique elements of film to rely upon
相反，如果你真的想吸引读者 instead if you really want to hook readers
快速介绍是很重要的 it's so important to quickly introduce
有意义的内部冲突 meaningful internal conflict
在一个角色中 within a character
他们在反抗什么 what are they struggling against
是什么欲望在他们心中竞争 what desires are competing within them
多么紧张的局势正威胁着要把他们分开 what tensions are threatening to tear them apart
所以机构的独特性和动力 so agency uniqueness and momentum
这些真的很重要 these are really important to
开始吸引读者 start the process of hooking readers
但是为了把钩子固定住 but in order to actually cement that hook
让读者全身心投入到下一篇文章中 and get readers fully invested for the next
他们生命中的10个小时 10 hours of their life
你真的需要朝 you really need to be moving towards
展示一些有意义的东西 showing some meaningful
内部冲突和斗争 internal conflict and struggle
在你的性格里 within your character
我想说这可能就是那个 I would say this is probably the one
这是你开口时压力最大的地方 area where your opening forced down the most
目前 at the moment
除了…之外 aside from 9 being
大楼总是着火，我有点烦 kind of annoyed that buildings always catch fire
在她身边，这很好 around her which is good
她觉得开头几页有点空白 she feels a little blank in these opening pages
你能再加几个句子来说明吗 can you add a few extra sentences to show
为什么抢劫对她这么重要 why the heist is so important to her
如果她偷不到这个东西会怎么样 what happens if she fails to steal this item
你真得把它弄得 you really need to make that something that
读者会觉得自己投入了 readers feel invested in
我绝对认为抚养 I definitely think bringing up
你知道 you know
她的父亲和她做这些的原因 her father and the reason that she's doing these
犯罪活动 criminal activity
我想这是她最大的恐惧 it's really her biggest fear I think
4 .提出有趣的问题 step 4 raise interesting questions
最终你想做的是 ultimately what you want to be doing with the
打开你小说的几页 opening couple of pages in your novel
打开一堆问题循环，你在哪里 is opening a bunch of question loops where you
提出问题，稍后再回答 raise a question and then a bit later on you answer it
这是一个完整的循环 that is a complete loop
现在你想要一个组合 now you want to have a combination of kind of
冗长的问题贯穿你的小说 long question loops throughout your novel
例如，你可能有一个谋杀发生了 for example you might have a murder that takes place
在书的开头 at the start of the book
这个问题没有得到解决 that doesn't get resolved
没有得到回答，问题循环就结束了 doesn't get answered and the question loop closed
直到小说的结尾 until the end of the novel
然而 however
一些较短的问题循环也很重要 it's also important to have some shorter question loops
这样你就可以持续 so that you can continuously
给读者一种进步的感觉 give readers the sense of progression
并得到回报 and pay off
你可以把问题循环想象成 you can kind of think of question loops as having
三个不同的部分 three distinct parts
这就是承诺 there is the promise
这个问题是什么时候提出的 which is when the question is set up
这就是进展 there is the progression
人物在哪里努力寻找答案 where the characters work towards finding an answer
然后就是回报了 and then there is the payoff
答案在哪里 where the answer is revealed
现在这 now this
并不一定意味着你要介绍 doesn't necessarily mean you have to introduce the
你的故事的整体问题弧 overall question arc of your story
马上 right away
事实上，这通常是一种非常有效的技巧 in fact it's usually quite an effective technique
用你小说的前25% to spend the first 25 percent of your novel
使用简短的问句 using shorter question
循环只是为了让读者投入足够的精力 loops just to get readers invested enough
这样你就可以用 so that then you can actually unload on them with the
真正的问题 true question
你的故事是关于 your story is about
A真的很好 a really good
第一部《哈利波特》就是一个例子 example of this is the first Harry Potter book
你不需要 you don't really
进入故事的更广泛的问题 get to the wider questions of the story
直到 until
大概在第1部分的结尾已经讲了25%了 about the end of part 1 25 percent of the way through
但在开篇的几章中 but in the opening couple of chapters
罗琳基本上给了我们一堆小问题 Rowling basically gives us a bunch of smaller question
循环等 loops like
为什么哈利会收到这么多奇怪的信 why is Harry getting all these weird letters
基本上就是用这些小问题 and it's basically using these smaller question
循环是一种 loops as a way to just
快速吸引读者 quickly draw readers in
给他们进步和回报的感觉 giving them the sense of progression and payoff by
回答这些 answering these
在相对较短的时间内回答问题 questions in a relatively rapid span of time
这就引出了一个更广泛的问题 and then that gets us to the wider question of
1 .霍格沃茨 1 teaser Hogwarts
你要怎么应付那里的生活 how are you gonna deal with life there
其中最先进的 one of the advanced
我向你推荐的技巧 techniques that I would recommend with your
问题循环是 question loops is to
真正考虑什么 really consider what
读者感兴趣的问题 questions readers are interested in
纯粹的类型，比如幻想 pure genre so for example in fantasy
通常读者都很感兴趣 usually readers are very interested in
魔法和世界 the magic and the world
也许还喜欢政治 and maybe like the politics
所以你应该提出这样的问题 so you should be raising questions that sort of
读者对这些类别最感兴趣 peak readers interests in those categories
5 .晚一点开始 step 5 start late
早退别跟性格扯上关系 leave early don't start with the character
像吃早餐一样醒来 waking up like having breakfast
刷牙在外面散步 brushing their teeth walking outside
然后被攻击 and then getting attacked
从他们再次被攻击开始 just start with them getting attacked again
在那一瞬间，平凡的世界 in the instant that the ordinary world
被打乱，事情开始改变 is disrupted and that things start changing
在你开场的那一刻 and in the instant that your opening scene
可以完成 can be finished
总结一下 wrap it up
《黑暗骑士》就是一个很好的例子 The Dark Knight is a perfect example of this
它就在银行最高的时候开始 it starts right when a bank highest begins
它没有显示事先准备了10分钟 it doesn't show 10 minutes of preparation beforehand
直接投入到行动中 just gets right into the action
然后就结束了 and then it ends
就在你向我们保证我们会看到这个之后 just after promising us that we're gonna see this
以小丑的形式出现的聪明狡猾的恶棍 brilliant cunning villain in the form of the Joker
任何杀不死你的，只会让你活下去 whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you
陌生人 stranger
迈克尔·斯托里在这方面做得很好 this is something Michael Story did really well
他真的是从主角开始的 he literally starts with the main character
跌跌撞撞地走出着火的房间 stumbling out of a burning room
在一栋楼里 in a building
她想偷点什么东西 that she's trying to steal something from
就像她跳出来的那一瞬间 and it ends like the instant that she jumps out of
那栋大楼 that building
第六步，用你的开场白来制造好奇心 step number 6 craft curiosity with your opening line
当你写初稿的时候 when you write your first draft
我觉得你不用担心开场白 I don't think you should worry about your opening line
当你回来编辑的时候 that much once you were coming back to edit
我觉得你应该认真花钱 I think you should seriously spend
在第一线待了几个小时 hours on that first line
因为事实是，大多数读者 because the fact is that the majority of readers
不打算给你的书超过10分吗 are not going to give your book more than 10
到15秒 to 15 seconds
所以如果你不去勾引他们 so if you're not hooking them and
给人第一印象 giving a first impression
就在第一句话里 right away in that first sentence
他们可能会去别的地方 they're probably going to move on to something else
然而 however
说你不只是想要一个噱头 saying that you don't just want to have a gimmicky
事实上是第一行 first line in fact
一些最伟大的 some of the greatest
我读过的开场白都开门见山 opening lines I've read just get straight to the point
他们不担心是否聪明 they don't worry about being clever
他们只是把你扔进故事里 they just throw you into the story
比如《红龙》的开场白 for example the opening line of Red Dragon
汉尼拔·莱克特的第一部小说是哪一部 which is the first Hannibal Lecter novel
是这样的 goes something like this
格雷厄姆会在野餐桌上解雇克劳福德吗 Will Graham sack Crawford down at a picnic table
在房子和大海之间 between the house and the ocean
给了他一杯冰茶 and gave him a glass of ice tea
简单无预紧 simple no pretension
能让故事马上展开 just gets the story moving right away
基本上 basically
你要做的就是用你的开场白 what you want to do with your opening line is take
所有之前的 all the previous
我提到的五个步骤，把它们压缩下来 five steps I've mentioned and compress them down
进入太空 into the space
开头那句话 of that opening line
或者开头的几句话 or your opening couple of sentences
事实上 and in fact
如果你按照前面的五个步骤来做 if you follow the previous five steps in order
你可能会找到你的开场白 you'll probably find your opening line
几乎不用担心 almost takes care of itself
举个我自己书里的例子 to give an example from my own book
穿过破碎的星星 across the Broken Stars
莱昂讨厌瓦里安的飞艇 Leon hated Varian airships
但卸完货后，我在他桌上放了啤酒 but since unloading them put beers on his table
他拿起板条箱时假装笑了笑 he faked a smile as he picked up the crate
这里你可以看到开口 here you can see the opening
狮子 Lion
遵循我之前讨论过的所有步骤 follows all the previous steps that I've discussed
这是整个故事的缩影 it shows the whole story in miniature
因为 because
里昂基本上是在隐藏自己的本性 Leon is basically having to hide his true nature
从那些殖民了他的国家的人那里 from the verions who have colonized his nation
第二，他有代理权 No. 2 he's got agency
尽管他在为别人工作 even though he is sort of working for someone else
他实际上是在做一些体力活动 he is actually doing something physically
第三，他很独特，因为 No. 3 he's got uniqueness because
你知道他实际上有 you know he is actually having
思想和行为截然不同 thoughts that are very different to his actions
他也有动力，因为他 he's also got momentum because he's
实际做一件事 actually doing a thing
他不只是坐在那里思考 he's not just sitting around thinking
最后，他有很有意义的内部冲突 and then lastly he's got meaningful internal conflict
憎恨和鄙视变种人 hates and despises the varians
但还是得为他们工作 but still has to work for them
有点讨厌自己 and kind of resents himself for
不得不这么做 having to do this
它也没有 it also goes without
说你需要放很多 saying that you need to put a ton of
努力使你的开场白符合语法 effort into making your opening line as grammatically
完美，易于阅读，尽可能流畅 perfect and easy to read and as flowing as possible
这里没有打字错误的借口 there are zero excuses for typos here
所以把它应用到迈克尔的故事中 so applying that to Michael's story
这是他最初写下的 here is what he initially wrote down
在他的开场白中 in his opening lines
9埃莉诺 9 Eleanor
堵住通过 gagged through
烟绝对不是她制造的 smoke that she absolutely did not create
年轻的火焰低低地看着她的背影 staying low young flames looked her back as she
从燃烧的房间里冲了出来 dashed from the burning room
为什么建筑物总是会着火 why do buildings always have to catch fire
当她在里面的时候 when she was inside them
这不是她的错 it wasn't her fault
我建议改成这样 I suggested changing that to this
我摇摇晃晃地走出燃烧的房间 9 staggered out of the burning room
被烟呛到 gagging on the smoke
当她跌进走廊时，火焰看着她的后背 flames looked to her back as she fell into the hallway
为什么房子总是 why did houses always
她在里面的时候还得着火吗 have to catch fire when she was inside them
希望你们能看到它流动得更好一些 hopefully what you can see is it flows a bit better
它更活跃一些 it's a bit more active
我们马上就有了更多的动力 and we immediately start with a bit more momentum
因为 because
从第一句话开始就是惊人的吗 is staggering right away from the very first sentence
这让我大吃一惊，所以 that just blew my mind so
我会经常想这件事的 I'm gonna be thinking about that a lot
以上就是我的六个步骤 so those are my six steps to craft a great
打开吸引读者的页面 opening page that hooks your readers
感谢收看 thanks for watching
如果你喜欢这个视频，你可能会喜欢这个 if you enjoyed this video you might like this one
干杯，下个视频见 cheers and I'll see you in the next video