(funky music)
- All right, put it down.
Uh, okay, let's pay up.
(laughing)
- What's happening?
- Do you know that you start every conversation
with that question?
- Well, that's because I want to know
what's happening later.
- I don't know.
Just gonna go home, I guess.
- Hey, want to see the Redford movie tonight?
- [Woman] The Redford movie?
You saw it last week.
- Well, I want you to see it.
- Look, I already know you look like him,
you've told me about 10 times.
- (laughs) Hey, do you want to go or not?
- Okay, I'll pick ya up.
Hey, would you cut it out?
You're gonna break me.
Just get out of here, get out of here!
- You're far out. (laughs)
- Yeah.
(calming jazzy music)
Come here, boy.
Good boy.
You know something?
Moon, you're gettin' old.
But you don't have to worry,
I'm not gonna send you off to any meat counter.
No.
I wouldn't do that to you.
That's 'cause I love you.
(truck honks)
- Linda!
- Yeah?
Oh, hello, Mr. Larson!
- We're going into town!
Will you close the gates when you leave?
- Sure.
- [Mrs. Larson] See you next week then!
- Right.
Well now, I hope my conversation didn't depress you.
No, I hope it didn't.
But old age is a reality we're both gonna have to face.
Now go in there and be a good boy,
I got a date.
Okay?
Bye bye, boy.
(crickets chirping)
(dramatic music)
(groaning)
- Aren't you gonna scream?
You can, you know.
It's all right.
You can scream and fight all you want.
Now, it may seem a little strange,
but I love it.
Come on now!
Scream a little bit, give me a good one.
(suspenseful music)
(heavy breathing)
Whoa, sweetheart.
Howdy, ma'am.
- No!
No!
- Hush!
I was wondering how long it was gonna take you to do that.
Now, I warn you lady,
you don't make another sound.
It's how it works,
as much as I'd really like you to scream,
and I would, I really would,
you know I just can't really afford that, don't you?
Now, I'm sure you can appreciate that.
Can ya?
I said can you!
- Mhm.
- All right, now I'm gonna have to warn you,
that if you even try to remove that gag,
I'm gonna have to be forced
to break both your arms.
(groaning)
You little...
All right, now you just hold it!
(loud slap)
What are you running away for?
All we're gonna do is make love.
Now, there's nothing much wrong with that, is there?
Matter of fact, this is your lucky day.
You know why?
'Cause you're with the best, lady.
You are with the ever-loving best.
Matter of fact, I think maybe you should say
"Thank you, Mr. Rapist, for choosing me!"
Yeah, you say that.
Come on now, you say that!
"Thank you, Mr. Rapist".
- Thank you, Mr. Rapist.
- Ah, that's better.
You're welcome.
Now I want you to take off that blouse.
Come on, Linda, take it off.
You take it off!
You surprised I know your name's Linda?
Oh, well I know a lot about you.
I know what you do, I know who your boyfriend is.
Yeah, I know lots of things about you.
Now you get that off.
You get that off.
Oh, yeah.
Yes, that's...
(loud yell)
(dramatic music)
Come on, yeah.
Come on, move over.
Come on, move over!
Oh, that's it.
(Linda screams)
All right, I'm gonna tell you this one time!
You make one more sound, or one more move,
and you're dead.
(dramatic music)
Now...
You're about to have the very, very best.
(Linda sobs)
But I think a little music would be appropriate,
so why don't you sing me some "Jingle Bells"?
Huh?
Come on, you just sing it for me.
- No.
(Linda sobs)
No!
- [Rapist] I said sing "Jingle Bells"!
Jingle Bells
- [Rapist] That's right.
Jingle Bells
- That's right.
That's good.
Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
- Yeah, music is always good with bawlin'.
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh
Jingle Bells
(sobbing)
All
- Oh, yes.
Jingle all the way.
(dramatic music)
Well, did you love it?
(laughs)
Yeah, you did love it, didn't you?
Now I asked you a question, girl.
- Loved it.
- Are you lying to me?
- No.
I loved it, honest.
- You damn right you did.
'Cause I'm the best.
The best!
(groaning)
(Linda sobs)
(somber music)
- [Suspect] Come on man, lay off man.
Leave me alone now.
Just let me go home, man.
I'm sick of all this shit.
I ain't do nothing.
Now just get me out of here.
Hey man, Leo did the thing, man.
Leo was in Nancy's car, wasn't he?
They did it, I had nothing to do with it.
Now let me go home, man.
- Yeah, well you know the procedure.
Yeah, get the people down to the property room
and have them identity their stuff.
Serial numbers on the TV sets,
then set record the same way, yeah.
And the description for the juror.
Yeah, uh huh.
I'll see you later, yeah, yeah.
- It could be any one of these guys.
I can't tell, he was wearing a disguise.
- Now, Miss, let me make sure I got all this right.
Now he kept singing Jingle Bells, right?
He insisted you sing it too.
Wanted you to fight him,
asked that you screamed.
The same sick son of a bitch.
All right, now, let's just get these
questions out of the way.
Now was there actual penetration?
Miss?
- Yes.
- Did you clearly say no at the time
of first body contact?
- Well, the first body contact
was a kick in the face.
Now I've told you all of this!
- Did you offer resistance?
- Oh, now would I look like this if I hadn't?
Jesus!
Isn't there a policewoman that can question me?
- Now, Miss, please, just be a little patient.
Bear with me.
Urination, no, defecation no,
object into vagina, set fire, no,
fetishes, no.
Mouth to genitals, no.
- Can't we do this thing in private?
- Now what the hell is this, a talk show?
And what are you looking?
Get him the hell outta here, will ya?
- Come on, let's go.
Get outta here.
- I'm sorry, Miss.
Now just a few more questions, that's all.
Had you been drinking?
- No.
- Under the influence of narcotics?
- No.
- Have you ever reported a rape before?
- No.
- And have you ever been arrested?
- No.
- And were you wearing those clothes?
- Yes.
What are you getting at?
Was I asking for it, huh?
- Please, Miss, take it easy.
- Take it easy?
Why should I?
This lunatic, this Jingle Bells
has attacked four other women that you know of,
and you're making me out to be the criminal?
- Miss, this is just a routine questionnaire.
- It is not routine to me!
I have been raped and I want something done about it!
Do you hear me?
(screaming)
Damn!
- Hi, I'm Dr. Schetman.
This won't take long.
Nurse, over here.
Get the instrument tray and a slide for the smear.
I want you to relax now.
Just take it easy, everything's gonna be all right.
This won't take much time.
Close your eyes and try not to think about it.
Just take it easy,
everything's going to be all right.
It'll be over in a minute.
Slide down just a little bit more please.
Little bit more, that a girl.
Don't worry about a thing, relax.
Just take it easy.
(eerie music)
That a girl.
(eerie music)
- Well?
- Just a second.
There's no count.
It's negative.
- What does that mean?
- There wasn't any sperm.
- Well, so?
- There must be evidence of sperm.
- I don't understand that.
- Evidently, he didn't ejaculate.
- Yeah, but so what?
- Well, sperm is evidence of rape.
- Well, does that mean that if there's no sperm
then it didn't...
- No, not necessarily.
But look, the law clear...
- No, wait a minute, just wait a minute.
Because I don't understand this.
I mean, I am getting very confused.
All right, now maybe he came,
and maybe he didn't cum, right?
Okay, and maybe Dr. Strangelove over here
doesn't know what he's talking about.
All I know is that some maniac
beat the hell out of me,
and then raped me.
Now the question is,
what you clowns are gonna do about it
because I have had it!
I am tired of being made out to be the criminal.
(sighs)
- Now, Miss, the worst is over with.
So why don't you go home
and try and get some rest, huh?
Oh, Bob.
- Yeah?
- Run that through for me, will ya?
- Yeah.
- Now, we're gonna do the best we can
to get hold of this Jingle Bells guy,
and if we find anything, I'll call you,
and if you remember anything you forgot to tell us,
you call me for sure.
- I wish that would happen to me some time.
I'd just lay back and enjoy it.
- Well, I hope it does happen to you sometime.
Some day, I hope you run into a big, mean,
300 pound faggot killer,
and I hope that faggot rips off your clothes
and sodomizes you right in your big, fat ass.
And then after all of that,
I hope you run into some dumb son of a bitch like yourself,
and he has the nerve to say something about
laying back and enjoying it.
- [Jingle Bells] Diary of a champ.
She's with that dumb ass boyfriend of hers again.
They're gonna talk about you, Jack.
Eh, she'll get rid of him, that's for sure.
- So, what are you gonna do?
Pretend it didn't happen?
- No, it happened.
But it's over, and I'm just gonna try and forget it.
You know?
- How can you forget it?
The guy said he knows everything about you.
It's gotta be somebody you know.
- If I knew who it was, he'd be in jail.
- I'll bet my ass it's some horny dog on your route.
It's gotta be.
- Look, the guy was in such a...
I mean, I would never recognize him
if I saw him again.
He had this mask all over this face.
I don't know.
It could've been anybody.
- Then how does he know me?
Just tell me how the hell he knows me?
- We spend time together, don't we?
- Yeah.
Well, there you have it.
- Now, somebody, this guy has been
following you around all this time,
and you didn't even know it?
- Do you have to go on with this?
I mean, I really just don't want to
talk about it, okay?
- Well, I do want to talk about it.
- Well, I don't.
- Are you bullshitting me about last night?
- Sure I am!
You see, it was me who raped him,
and then I gave myself this to make it look good.
- Yeah, well maybe you were playing a little grab ass
and he got rough.
But that ain't rape.
- Just stay away from...
- You don't have to get so uptight about it.
- I don't?
You are such a fool!
Will you just stay away from me?
(dramatic music)
(phone rings)
- Hello?
Hi, Irene.
It's almost finished.
I'll drop it by your place in the morning
on my way to class.
Okay, bye.
(woman yells)
- Howdy, Miss Karen.
Nice night for lovin', isn't it?
Relax, I won't hurt you,
I know all about you, Karen.
Ah, you should see yourself.
Fabulous.
Never looked better.
(groaning)
Oh, your eyes.
Hm.
Here.
(loud ripping)
Wake up now!
We can't have you sleeping through this.
That's right, open your mouth nice and wide,
just like you're in the dentist office.
That's right!
Oh, that's good, yeah.
That's a good girl now.
Okay, you can get up now.
(groaning)
I said get up, bitch!
(Karen sobs)
Come on up here now.
Come on.
Come on now!
That's good.
Now come closer.
Come on, honey.
Come closer.
Closer.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
That's a good, round bottom.
Now, I tell you what you do
with that nice, black bottom.
You just put it down right there,
you just put it right there.
That's good.
Now don't you move, huh?
Ah.
Do you know how lucky you are?
Of course you do, don't you?
Now just to show me how grateful you are,
how about you sing for me,
oh about 10 bars of Jingle Bells, huh?
Ah, ah.
Don't worry about the gag.
You don't have to worry about the words,
I know the words.
All you've got to do is hum.
Hey, bitch!
Now...
Remember, it's...
Jingle Bells
Right?
It's Jingle Bells!
(sobbing)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
Yeah.
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh, hey
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is
Oh!
Ah, you bitch.
You clever little bitch.
Now you just sit right down there.
You're really clever.
(Karen sobs)
Now, you listen.
This time, you sit still.
'Cause if you move, these scissors
just might find their way in your pretty belly.
Now.
You know what we are gonna do?
We're gonna open you up,
just like a Christmas present.
- [Karen] No!
No, no!
- Ah, yes.
Oh yeah.
Oh yes.
Oh, that's good.
Oh, that's so good.
(Karen sobs)
Ah, well, hello!
Ah, yes, you are beautiful.
Oh, yes, you're beautiful.
Oh yes, you're gonna be so good.
And you're gonna just love it.
I'm the best you'll ever have.
I'm the honcho, Sweet Cakes.
The honcho of the hump.
I've rung more bells than a God damn cathedral,
and I'm gonna ring yours.
- No, no! - Oh yeah.
(romantic saxophone music)
No, no, no!
- Hello.
(dramatic saxophone music)
- Hi.
- Welcome to the club.
- Oh, thanks.
- When was it for you?
- Eight days ago.
I was called down here for an identification.
Does that mean they've got him?
- Oh! - Are you kidding?
This is merely our weekly freak show.
- But you'll get used to it.
- Oh, I hope not.
- I'm Angie.
- Oh, hi. - Cromwell.
- Linda Shoemaker.
- Nancy Gates.
- Hi, Nancy. - Hi.
- Ladies.
I'm glad you could all come.
I want you to take a good look at our suspect.
Bob.
(buzzer rings)
All right, send 'em in.
And please watch carefully
and don't say anything
unless you're sure of him.
(sobs)
- That's him.
(sobs)
- [Detective] Give him the speech.
Read that!
Out loud.
- Ah, sing Jingle Bells.
Now the reason I'm having you sing that particular song
is that I want you to get it into your lovely head
that I'm going to ring your bell.
- That's not his voice.
- It's not him.
(buzzer rings)
(door slams)
- [Detective] Okay, get them outta here.
- What is this?
Is this your newest idea of a freak show?
- I'm sorry ladies, but I had to do this to you
for a very good reason.
- Man, if you think this is funny, it's not!
- I know it isn't.
But I picked this way to dramatize for you
how impossible our job is.
- All right, what are you trying to say?
- I'm trying to show you how tough it is
to get a fix on this man.
Don't you see, even if we got lucky
and brought him in here, and put him up there,
there's no way you can identify him,
except by his voice.
And he could easily disguise that.
- Yeah, well I think your tactics stink.
I don't know about the rest of you,
but I'm getting the hell out of here.
- I don't believe you.
- So this is all we have to look forward to?
What a waste of fuckin' time.
- [Angie] I should've stayed home.
- [Blonde Woman] Cops never do anything.
- Hey, wait a second, wait a second.
How badly do you guys want to get
that Jingle Bells bastard?
I mean, do you really want to put
this son of a bitch away?
- I do.
- Okay.
- What's on your mind?
- Look, if the police can't do it,
how can we?
- Well, I'd sure as he" like to try.
- Would you?
- Yeah.
- Well, I had this kind of idea,
and I don't think if it's gonna work,
but do you want to go over to my place
and talk about it?
I don't live far.
- Yeah. - Okay.
- Good, come on.
- [Jack] All my lovelies are getting together.
Hm, I wonder what they're up to.
I'm gonna have to keep my eye on them, yes sir.
- How do you feel about forming a rape squad?
- What do we do?
We do what hundreds of women
all over the country are doing.
Look, there's an article about it right here.
There have been television shows and everything.
But the only ones that seem to be getting
any kind of results are these women's groups.
Now, for starters, we get a 24 hour phone service,
so that women can call in
and report rape, or anything else to us first.
And we go down with them to the precinct
to make sure they do not get hassled.
I wished to God I had had a woman there.
- Okay, wait a minute.
Where is all this gonna take place?
- Why don't we establish headquarters right here?
- Hey, that's cool.
- All right.
I'll take this section, you take the other side.
- Right.
- Well, here we go.
- Again.
- Yes.
Good luck.
- Hey, look at that ass.
- God damn, that's nice.
- Hey ma'am, what are you selling?
- Hey, don't forget us!
- Be sure to give one to your wives and girlfriends.
- Oh, absolutely, yeah.
Hey, what are you leaving for?
Want a bite of my sandwich?
- Sisters, stop rape!
Are you being hassled by...
Stop rape?
Well that's my favorite sport!
- That's right, that's right!
- Are you being hassled by obscene phone calls,
flashers, peepers, and grabbers?
Well, I hope so!
All are potential rapists.
- Hey, that's right.
That's my friend over here,
he's all of them things.
- You think it's funny, do you?
Do you know what it's like to be
on the receiving end of that kind of sickness?
I got friends who can't even walk
to the supermarket alone.
- Well, what are they afraid of?
A little flesh never hurt anyone.
A matter of fact, a little rape once in a while
should make life more enjoyable.
- Yeah?
Well, mister, I've been raped!
And believe me, it wasn't enjoyable.
- Hey, lady.
Hey, we're sorry.
We didn't know, please.
- Get your fucking hands off me.
- Look, please.
We didn't know!
- Oh, I said don't touch me!
Just because you're a man...
- Now look, we were just trying to be funny...
- Well, your smart ass remarks stink.
You treat women like slabs of meat.
(yelling)
- That's incredible.
- Boy, I'm gonna kick me some ass.
- Thank you, Fab.
Let me have a towel, huh?
Thanks.
- Woo!
I can't wait 'til I can do some of that shit.
(laughing)
- Oh yeah?
Well, don't get hopes up so high.
You girls aren't ready for that kind of stuff yet.
I'll tell you something though.
I don't know a man alive that can attack me
and get away with it.
(laughing)
This belt took me 10 long years of practice.
Six hours a day, five days a week.
You don't have that kind of time, or patience.
- Then what are we gonna do?
- Well, I'm gonna show you a few shortcuts.
You'll learn a little karate along the way,
but in the meantime,
I've got something worked out for ya.
Lesson number one,
every man's got a weak spot.
- You know where it is?
- [Angie] Crotcho.
- Right.
- One blow there, and he's out for the duration.
Don't be afraid to fight dirty.
Learn to use what's handy, anything goes.
A wooden club, a wrench,
you can use a hatpin.
You stick a hatpin in a man's Vitals,
and you can bet he's had it.
Okay, you first.
Everyone goes up and hits.
Come on, smash it.
- Aw, come on!
- Harder.
- Yay!
(clapping)
- That a girl, that a way.
Next.
Harder!
Come on, you can hit him harder than that.
All right, just lay one right there.
Come on, really lay one in.
What's the matter?
It's too violent for you?
You'd rather be hurt, degraded?
Listen, why don't you come back
when you've got a higher opinion of yourself.
(dramatic music)
Yeah.
(Nancy yells)
Beautiful.
Next?
- [Jack] So, all my ladies
are taking up karate now.
New punches, new kicks.
Yeah, I can't wait 'til the next fight.
Dynamite.
- I gotta tell you, what you girls are doing is great.
It's a marvelous idea.
(chuckling)
- Sounds good, but it really wears you out.
- Amen.
I can't find enough hours in the day.
You know, ever since we've started this squad,
we've been running ourselves ragged?
- Aren't you afraid?
Just thinking of challenging a rapist
gives me the chills.
- That's why we're taking these classes.
Next month we're expanding our services.
We're talking to doctors and psychologists now.
- Oh, I think that's great.
- Hey, why don't you join us?
We need all the help we can get.
- I'd love to, but what could I do?
- Well, you could start by answering telephones.
You see, we have a 24 hour phone service
so that women in trouble
can call us anytime at all.
- I better ask my husband.
He's from the old school
and he thinks that a woman's place
is in the home.
- Oh.
Well, tell him not to worry,
we're not a bunch of homewreckers.
(laughing)
- Excuse me.
I overheard you talking about your group
and I have a question.
- [Linda] Go ahead.
- A couple of months ago, I was attacked.
- [Linda] Raped.
- The police caught the guy and they took him to trial,
but he got off.
- That figures.
- It was his word against mine.
Actually, it was my word against his
and four other men who I had never met before
who got up and testified
that they had paid me to have sex with them.
Plus his attorneys dug up records
of an abortion I had last year.
They made it sound like I was an outright murderess.
It's too late to do anything about it for me,
but I know he'll go out and do it again.
Maybe even kill.
I want to do something to stop him
from doing this to another woman.
Can you do something for me?
- Do you know where to find him?
- He manages a club right off campus, The Babydoll.
(catchy club music)
- The one in blue, she's dynamite.
- Some nice jugs.
(catchy club music)
- I'll say hello.
(chuckling)
- Don't you count on it.
- Like to dance?
- Um, I can't, thanks.
- Thanks anyway.
- What was that?
- Told you.
Whenever a guy comes around, I short circuit.
- But I thought you wanted to be with somebody.
- Sure.
I'm so horny, I could explode.
But...
Then I flashed on what happened,
and I just short circuit, that's all.
- Well, the truth is that I kinda do the same.
(catchy club music)
- I'll buy you a beer.
- You got it.
(catchy club music)
- Two tap.
And what is your name?
- Linda.
- Mine's Bud.
- Hello. - Hello.
Thank you.
(catchy club music)
Are you a student of the university?
- Uh huh.
I also drive a lunch truck.
(chuckles)
Yeah.
- I manage this pit.
- [Linda] I noticed.
- Mhm.
Do you like skiing?
- Never tried it.
- Well, that's the ultimate challenge.
I mean, it's just you against
the whole God damn mountain.
And some of the mountains, lady,
I gotta tell you.
Like the last time I was in Switzerland,
I've got some footage on that trip at my place.
- Well, I've got classes real early.
- The evening is just appropriate.
- All right, just so there's no misunderstanding,
I'm going to bed very early.
Alone.
You got that?
Okay.
(lighthearted piano music)
- Here we go.
- Thank you.
Where is this film?
- Oh, you gotta be kidding.
- No, I'm not kidding.
I mean, I told you that's the reason
I came up here was to see a film.
- I know, I know.
But, see, well, I thought I was gonna
try to talk you out of that.
- Well, that would take a lot.
An awful lot.
But thanks for the beer.
- Wait a minute.
You're not leaving, are you?
- Uh huh.
- What'd you come over for?
- Well, it seems that you invited me over here
to see a film and to have a beer.
And I didn't see a film, remember?
- Yeah, I remember.
But I mean, there are more important things to do
than sit around and watch a film all night.
- Uh huh, I see.
Well, just back off, 'cause I don't want any.
- Bullshit.
I mean, that is why you're here, isn't it?
- Now you keep that up,
and you're gonna find out how wrong you are.
(laughs)
- Come on, baby.
You love it.
- Just...
- You all love it.
- I don't love it, now just leave me alone.
God damn it, put me down!
All right, just...
I don't know what you think you're doing.
- Now I'm just gonna make you relax, feel easy,
and loose, hm?
- Do you plan on following me
or are you gonna continue with this?
- Mhm.
- Even if I don't want you to?
- Mhm.
See, that's my point.
I think you do.
- Well, I don't.
- Let's find out.
- No!
Stop it.
All right, I said stop it!
Stop it!
(loud yells)
(lighthearted jazzy music)
- You want to act like a man,
I'm gonna treat you like a...
(loud yells)
(lighthearted jazzy music)
- Okay girls, let's get started.
Everybody knows what to do.
(loud clanging)
(glass breaking)
- Like to force yourself on women, stud?
Well, now you're gonna pay for it.
- All right, get his pants off.
- What are you, what are you?
What's...
What are you doing?
- Ah, ah, don't move, baby.
Or I'll really whoop your ass.
You're being raped.
Do you like it?
- What's going on?
- For a big guy, you're not too terrific.
- No.
And I'm afraid this isn't gonna help much.
- Jesus, what is that?
- Jock Strap.
Your days of attacking women are over.
(Bud yells)
Monopectinate dye.
It'll last about six months.
- You're a marked man, Mr. Rapist.
- [Linda] And if we ever hear that you attacked
any other woman,
this will identify you,
and we'll be back.
- [Karen] And if we do, we'll re-decorate your ass
and not your apartment.
- [Linda] That's right.
(birds chirping)
(eerie music)
(woman screams)
- Hello, Diane.
Oh that's right, Princess, I know you.
I know all about you.
Where you live, the karate class,
oh yes, and the jacuzzi with the other girls.
So now darling, you just freeze.
- Who are you?
- Oh, I'm just your friendly neighborhood hockey player.
- Well, what do you want?
- You got to be kidding me.
Now, now!
Come on back down here
where I can talk to you.
Now.
You know what I'm gonna do for you?
(suspenseful music)
(yelling)
(groaning)
I love it, I love it!
You just keep on fighting me,
'cause that's what makes it good!
That's good!
Yeah, I love it!
Just fight it!
Fight me then, fight me then!
You're gonna love it.
- Oh God!
Oh, no, stop!
Stop!
- You're gonna love it.
- Stop it! - Shut up!
Shut up!
Now sing Jingle Bells.
Just sing for me.
You gotta sing it loud.
Come on now, just sing Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells.
Sing it out now.
Sing it!
Sing Jingle Bells.
What's the matter girl, can't you sing?
Come on now, sing it out.
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells.
Aw, Jingle Bells.
(dramatic music)
- Now ladies, I've got to tell ya,
I think you're playing a very dangerous game.
I've seen your posters,
I've seen your ads in the papers,
and I know what you've been telling those women
at the various clubs.
That if they have trouble,
they should call you.
Wrong.
They should call me.
- Why?
So you and your funny men can play games with them
down at the station?
Bullshit.
- Honey.
Now look.
I know what you're hoping.
You're hoping one of those calls
is gonna turn this guy up for ya
and put him right out there
where you can cut it off.
Well, you'd better hope it doesn't happen,
because this guy is a maniac,
and this guy is a killer.
And you can easily wind up with your friend there.
Now, I cannot legally force you to stop,
but please, please, go home.
Stay there.
- Maybe Sergeant Long was right.
- He's not.
- I'm not so sure.
We're in over our heads, we're not cops.
We can't deal with a lunatic.
- I say we can.
- As well as Diane down there?
- Look, that kind of sarcasm we can do without.
- If we stick together, we can get him.
I know it.
- The victims have all been students.
- Right, and they always know something about them.
Their names, their daily routines.
- Which means he has to follow them
for quite a while.
- Well, I think it's hopeless.
He'll never caught unless he makes a mistake.
- Well, we're not gonna wait.
- What's that supposed to mean?
- I'm not sure yet.
- Well, I think you're obsessed
with our Jingle Bells friend.
- And you're not?
Boy, girl, you've got a short memory.
- It's no shorter than yours,
I'm just not gonna spend the rest of my life
trying to catch him.
- Well, I am, and I'm gonna nail that son of a bitch
if it's the last thing I do.
- [Jack] Damn, I actually killed someone.
Don't think I want that to happen again,
no, that's not a nice feeling.
Well, gotta find a new one,
get my mind off of that.
- 20 cents.
Thanks.
- Hey, how's it going?
- Twinkies are up, apples are holding firm.
- It was in the papers, you know.
What happened to your friend.
- How do you know that's my friend?
- Well, I've sort of been keeping tabs on you.
- [Linda] Why?
- Look.
You're gonna get yourself killed too
if you don't stop tramping around
like some diesel dyke.
- Good.
First I'm a whore, and now I'm a diesel dyke.
Is that it?
- Damn it!
Can't you tell when somebody's
really concerned about you?
- Yeah, I can tell, and you're not.
All you're concerned about is your tiny sense of manhood.
- Hey, I can't talk to you anymore.
- Have you ever tried?
- [Jack] Yeah, I have.
- Oh, you have?
Like you're trying right now I suppose?
That's great.
- Look, why don't you give me a call sometime
when you get your act together!
- Jesus.
- Hi!
- Hi.
- Linda, Gloria Sherman.
- Hi. - Hello.
- What's this for?
- Gloria had a message machine put on the telephone.
I taped this from it.
- [Bernie] Hi, Gloria.
Guess what I'm doing.
That's right.
And I'm thinking of you.
Does that turn you on, huh?
It feels good.
- Gloria writes a column,
so a lot of the tips she gets
have to be kept strictly in confidence.
- Ah.
And you have no idea who this is?
- Oh, as of this morning, yes.
I'm pretty sure it's a guy named Bernie Drake,
an investigator who works for my lawyer.
I happened to be home this morning when he called
and I kept him talking,
and I got him to promise he'd meet me tonight at 11.
(romantic saxophone music)
- Hi.
- Yeah, well, what's happening?
- This is what's happening.
You, me, us, here.
(romantic saxophone music)
- Uh, well I...
- I tell you what?
- Well, what?
- This may come as a surprise to you,
but I have a gun in my purse,
and if you don't do exactly as I say,
I'm gonna blow your fucking head off.
- Let's take a stroll.
- Wait now, look, if this is a hold up,
you can have any...
- This way, slob.
- Come on.
- What's going on here?
Look, whatever you want, you can have it.
- Oh, we know that.
Now move it!
Move it.
You know him?
- Hello, Bernie.
- Hey.
What do you want with me?
- You've been hassling our friend, Bernie,
and that's a no no.
- What are you talking about?
- You've been bothering Gloria for months now,
and we have all the evidence right here on tape.
- You know, you're lucky she called us
instead of the police.
- They put scum like you in jail
just for opening your mouth.
- Pussycat, we listen to a lot of your
performances on tape.
What's the story?
You all talk, or do you have something
you back it up with?
- [Angie] Why don't you show it to us?
- Yeah, take your clothes off.
- Yeah, let's see your wang.
- Hey, come on. - You got a big wang?
- Here, I'll help you.
- Oh, come on.
- Hey!
Nice set of tits you got there, Foul Mouth.
- Oh, I don't know, they look a little soft to me.
- Ah, I think you need a little silicone job.
- All right, now here is where it's at, Foul Mouth.
Gloria here is a writer, you remember that?
- Your mother's gonna love reading about this.
- Come on.
- If you had a mother.
- Now, number one.
You as much as lost your job,
because I'm going to tell my attorney about you,
and number two, if I ever hear of you
making another obscene phone call, you've had it.
Because I'm going to publish a story about you
that will make national headlines.
I guarantee it.
All over America, you'll be known as "Mr. Shit".
Goodnight, Bernie.
(romantic saxophone music)
- Okay, let me make sure I have this right.
Raise the hem two inches, shorten the sleeve one.
- Mhm. - Okay.
I'll have these ready by the weekend,
and thanks again.
- Okay.
- [Pimp] Hey, what do you think you're doing, huh?
What the fuck do you think you're doing?
- [Woman] What did I do?
- What do you think you're doing?
Do you think you could just run out on me
whenever you get ready or not?
- I ain't done nothing...
- For some fucking weird hog!
- Help!
- Huh?
Whore, I own you!
You understand?
I'm gonna go upside your fucking head.
Bitch, no whore leaves Percy's stable.
You're in Percy's stable, you understand?
Now you're gonna get your ass
out on that fucking street and hustle.
And I want to see some bread in my hand,
and I do mean soon, bitch!
- [Woman] Please, Percy!
- Keep your back straight.
Don't take your eyes off your opponent.
(phone rings)
Don't lock your elbows.
(grunting)
Hello.
Yeah?
Where?
Hold on, we'll be there.
- [Percy] Nobody leaves Percy's stable, bitch.
I mean nobody, do you understand that?
- Stop it, please!
Stop!
- Do you understand?
Don't forget it!
- Please, Percy!
Let me leave!
I want to give up hustling and give up the life.
- I don't know what I'm gonna do with you, Kathleen.
Remember what happened to you the last time
you tried to pull that shit on me, huh?
- No, I've been straight with you, Percy.
- [Karen] Hey, pimp.
- Aw, bullshit.
What the fuck are you looking at?
- Just biding time, brother.
- Yeah?
Well, why don't you just go do your biding someplace else.
- Look, don't you think she's had enough?
- This is a family affair, Mama.
And where in the hell you think you're going, huh?
Get your ass back over there,
and you leave when Percy tell you to leave,
you understand?
I done told you, bitch.
I'm your lord and your master, you dig it?
Huh?
- This your car, dude?
- That's right.
- Guess what?
- What?
- I'm through biding, baby!
(loud banging)
- Why, you stinking sons of bitches!
I'm gonna go upside yo fucking head!
(groaning)
(glass breaking)
You fucking bitches have had it!
(loud banging)
- Hey!
(groaning)
- I don't want no part of this shit.
- God damn!
God damn, I'm mad!
You just got General Percy...
Hey, look what you've done to my car!
Look out, girls, look out!
(groaning)
- God damn.
- See you around, Pimp.
- Percy?
Percy, honey?
You all right?
- Yeah, Mama.
(shutter snaps)
(engine revs)
- I don't know who he is,
but every time I turn around, he's snapping pictures.
- Well, can you give me a description?
- He doesn't get close enough,
he uses a long lens.
- [Investigator] Okay.
We'll send a car out to have a look-see, okay?
- Thanks, Harry.
(funky bass music)
(shutter snaps)
(funky bass music)
(shutter snaps)
(funky bass music)
(shutter snaps)
(lighthearted flute music)
- Howdy.
(lighthearted flute music)
Yeah.
(whistling)
(mysterious music)
(lamp breaks)
(humming)
(mysterious music)
(whistles)
Nice lace.
And polka dots.
(loud clanging)
Yeah.
(mysterious music)
(laughing)
Woo!
- At first there was nothing to prove
I was being followed,
but I knew I was, I felt it.
I called the police, but they never came around.
- So what else is new?
- That's why we're in business.
- Well, listen.
I'm afraid to stay here tonight.
I figured I'd go over to my parents.
Could you give me a lift?
- Sure, we'd be glad to.
- Oh, terrific.
(van accelerates)
- April 10th.
There they go, my five lovelies.
My beauties.
And didn't they look good together?
Oh, and wouldn't they be good together?
All five at once.
Jack, what good thinking?
Now, that really shows some class, sure.
Yeah, let's forget about old polka dots
and devise a plan for all five,
something clever, something with style,
with imagination, something worthy of you, Jack.
Yes.
This is the big one, Jack.
All five of 'em.
Oh, it'll be beautiful.
The truth is, that I'm very much in love
with all of 'em.
Keep out of the kitchen, girls,
unless you can stand the heat.
(laughing)
Oh, this'll work for you, Jack.
The perfect plan to whet their appetites
and get them to follow you.
We'll tell 'em to meet you at the laundromat,
then we'll have ourselves a little game
of the hare and the fox.
We'll let them hunt you for a change.
But when they find you,
they'll be the hares, and you'll be the fox.
(humming)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
- Excuse me, are you the lady who works here?
Excuse me, was there a young man here?
- Yes.
Which one of you is Linda?
- I am.
- Well, he told me to tell you
that he was going to a newsstand on Kawanga,
and would you please meet him there?
- Okay, what did he look like?
- Well, he had red hair, and a fullish beard.
- Okay, thank you very much.
Come on.
- Thank you. - Have a good one.
- Hey, mister, I wonder if you could do me a favor.
It's worth a buck to me.
I got a girlfriend, her name's Linda,
and I was supposed to meet her right here, right?
But I gotta go someplace else,
and I wrote down where I'm going.
Would you give her this note
and ask her to meet me there? - Okay, okay, sure.
- Hey, thanks man.
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh, hey
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way, hey, hey
- [Linda] Can you tell us what he looked like?
- What does he look like?
He's your boyfriend, you can't remember his face?
- Oh, you know, he's just playing a little game with her,
lots of disguises.
- Oh, is that what that was?
A disguise?
- Please.
- Well, he had black hair, a beard...
- Okay, thank you.
- He's doing this to make sure
we don't call the police.
- Well now, wouldn't you do the same thing?
- Suppose there's a massacre
at the end of this treasure hunt?
(car doors slam)
- This is crazy.
I mean, it's too dark to even see!
- What if he's not here?
- Hey, look.
I'll bet those are his wigs and beard.
- What is this place?
- [Linda] This is the old zoo.
It's been abandoned for five years.
- It's open.
- I wish Tiny had passed up
that black belt tournament.
- I'm with you!
- Hey, gang.
I don't think we're strong enough to handle this alone.
Maybe we should turn it over to the police.
After all, we did our job by tracking him here.
- Oh, come on, you guys!
Don't fade on me, not now!
Now, Sergeant Long is just gonna call this
another one of our crazy escapades.
Look, Jingle Bells is here.
This is what we've been waiting for,
a chance to nail him!
Now come on, let's go.
(mysterious music)
(dramatic music)
- Girls, look.
You can stay and play superwomen if you want,
but I'm splitting.
- Maybe she's right.
- If anything happens to us,
we can yell our heads off
and nobody would hear us.
I'm gonna get the cops,
they've got guns, and they can catch Jingle Bells.
- Ah.
Well you can do what you want,
'cause I'm going on.
- All right, now just a minute.
Are you sure you don't want to stay with us?
- Yeah, I'm sick of this.
- Fine.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
(ominous music)
- This place is huge, we can tramp around here forever
and never find him.
- He'll find us.
(ominous music)
- Hey, Karen?
Why don't you come with me, we'll go this way,
and you two cut across that way.
- Hey, screw you baby, not a chance.
- We better stick together.
- Look, he's never gonna take out all four of us.
- Yeah, I guess you're right.
(ominous music)
- [Jack] A ha!
(yelling)
(frantic music)
- Ugh, oh damn.
There goes my heel.
Girls, wait for me!
(muffled yell)
- Where's Karen?
- Karen?
Well she was here just a second ago.
- She can't be lost.
- Oh my God, no.
- Karen?
Karen, where are you?
- Karen! - Karen!
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
(gasping)
All right, hold it right there!
Now you come one step closer,
and I snap her neck.
Now just back off, Linda!
Good, good.
That's wonderful.
Now, tell me the truth girls,
did you miss me?
Of course you did.
And here we are for a repeat performance.
But tonight, tonight it's gonna be
all five of us at once,
now how's that for a beautiful evening, huh?
- Just let her go.
- Karen, are you all right?
- Angie, Nancy?
I want the two of you now
to just march right around here,
and get into this cage right next to me.
And then you can start a little strip number, huh?
And my little Linda, uh huh,
you oughta come in here with me,
the cage of honor.
Come on, let's go.
You do it, or she dies!
You know I mean that.
- We gotta do what he says.
- No!
Just wait a minute.
- We can't take that chance.
- She's right, you know.
- I can't do it.
I just can't let that pig touch me again.
- And what about Karen?
Are you gonna let him kill her?
- And what makes you think he won't kill us
once he's finished?
- Trust me, girls.
Trust me.
- I'm going.
Angie?
- You can't go in there!
Are you crazy?
- I'm not gonna gamble with Karen's life!
(dramatic music)
Angie.
(groaning)
- That's right, Nancy.
That's right.
(yells)
Ah.
That's right, just go on right in,
make yourself at home.
That's a good girl, Nancy.
(dramatic music)
Oh, come on, Angie.
Come on, Angie!
That's a good girl.
Boo!
Now, turn right around, and lock that door.
There's a padlock set right there.
Lock it up tight now, come on!
(groaning)
That's good.
Now, Linda.
Now like I said, you're to come on in here with me.
Into the cage of honor.
Right here with me.
- Fuck off!
- Linda.
I suggest you turn around and look right over there.
- Oh.
Oh, God.
Oh God.
(sobbing)
You freak!
You're not gonna get me!
- [Jack] All right, Linda, let's go!
Time is a wastin'.
You do it or she dies!
Now do you want the same treatment
for your friends?
- Linda, do it!
He'll do it, he'll kill us!
Linda!
- I recommend you listen to the lady.
(sobbing)
- Well, I would if you were any good,
but to tell you the truth,
you're the worst lay I ever had, yeah.
Remember when you told me you were the best?
Well now I'm telling you, you're the worst!
The very worst!
You're the lowest.
- Bullshit!
You loved it.
I know you loved it, you even told me so.
- Uh huh.
Yeah, well think back.
You told me to tell you that, remember?
As a matter of fact, the girls and I have discussed it,
we've all agreed that even a faggot
could do it better than you could.
- That is a lot of shit!
And you know it!
You're just trying to bait me, I'm the best!
There is no better than me!
- So this is your big plan, is it?
To get all four of us at once?
Well, this is a disgusting farce!
You couldn't satisfy one of us!
Not one of us!
Let alone four of us.
(suspenseful music)
- Linda!
(groaning)
Linda!
(suspenseful music)
(groaning)
Linda!
(groaning)
(dramatic music)
- Linda!
(dramatic music)
Linda!
(dramatic music)
(sobbing)
(calming saxophone music)
(sobbing)