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What did I tell you?
- Paradise. - Heh.
Yeah. Paradise. Marooned on an island with all the strippers in Tampa.
How did I get so lucky? The best Fourth of July ever, heh.
I literally was just thinking...
-...that in my head, like just now. - Ha, ha.
Get out of my head.
MIKE: Oh, shit. Yo. - Hey.
- What are you doing here? - You know me. Always making new friends.
- Good to see you. - You too. How are you?
I'm good. Uh, this is, um, Brooke.
- Hi. - Oh, hey.
Brooke, uh, Joanna.
- Nice to meet you. - You too. I like your bikini.
Thank you. You too.
- Is that a tattoo? - Yeah.
What does it say?
- Oh, uh, it just says I was 17, and... JOANNA: Ha, ha.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Yeah. Uh, so I know, uh, Joanna from the club. Uh, she came up--
She studied psychology and she came up to do, uh...
What's the thing you came up to do?
Behavior analysis.
Right. She was analysizing our behavior, apparently.
That must have been, uh, really enlightening.
It actually was. You know, I go a few times a week, if you want to come with us.
She is actually the Kid's brother.
I mean, sister.
- Yeah, heh. Ha, ha. - Right. Ahem.
- Is that a tattoo over there too? - Yeah.
She has tattoos. You want a drink?
- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah?
- It was nice to meet you. - It was nice to meet you too.
She's cute. What? I don't normally like blonds, but she's really cute.
Yeah, but she's not really our type. You know what I'm saying?
You're not into her?
No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying she's a little uptight.
We're fucking her, not taking her to dinner.
It's not gonna happen.
- She's a dinner type, is what I'm trying to say. - Oh.
Okay, if you decide you want to share...
...and change your mind and put some effort into it, you know my number.
Besides, you know how much I love to eat.
Yes, I will. Obviously you don't like head.
[ALL CHATTERING]
I started cheating in the seventh grade just to entertain myself.
Finished high school, but if I could do it all over again...
...I wouldn't have even gone. No way.
BROOKE: You don't believe in school at all?
I think fuck school altogether.
When I have a kid, I'm going to set him in front of the TV...
...and make him watch Mad Money all day. Teach him about the stock market.
Get him into Ameritrade and shit like that.
I guarantee you by the time he's 18, that little fucker's gonna be flush in cash.
RICHIE: Boo-yah! - Heh.
- I don't know why more people don't do that... DALLAS: Hm?
...just from an investment standpoint.
That's the state of the country, man.
America. People. Stupid.
I hope I get to meet your kids someday.
DALLAS: Tsk, Oh, no problem.
Come visit anytime in one of our three cool houses, dear.
[CHUCKLES]
MIKE: Hey, if you want, I could probably get Dallas' number for you.
He's starting this new life-coaching business...
[BROOKE LAUGHING]
...that I really do think you might benefit from personally.
I mean, I saw the connection between the two of you.
What? I'm sorry.
Right? So you felt it too? What? Just, what?
What would his kids even look like?
They'd be running around in little rattlesnake diapers and shit.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Look, don't, uh, they just say stupid shit sometimes. Don't let them bother you.
Oh, no, it didn't bother me.
I'm just trying to wrap my mind around Adam and this whole mess.
I get it. I don't know how I fit into this whole mix, either.
No. You-- When you're on-stage, it all makes sense.
I mean, the way you dance and the way the women respond to you...
Wait a minute. So that means someone might have stuck around.
That's good to know.
Yeah.
That feeling... That must be a really crazy feeling to be on-stage...
...like that. I see why you've been doing it for so long. I get it.
- But Adam's different. He's... - Why is that?
Well, he had a football scholarship.
A year ago, he basically ruined it by getting...
...in a fistfight with his coach in the first hour of the first day.
- Yeah. I think he said something about that. - Yeah.
So I just don't-- I'm just trying to figure out...
...why he's stripping-
-"Why" is easy. - What do you mean, it's easy?
- You want some stripper wisdom? - Okay.
- You ready? - Yeah.
He's 19 years old.
It's women, money and a good time.
I guess. I guess.
I got him.
Okay?
Okay.
- You gonna come to the show tonight? - No.
- You're gonna come. - No.
- You just said you liked the show. - Doesn't mean I'm gonna go again.
- But you said-- - I'm not, heh, going. I've seen it.
MIKE: Does that mean you were lying? BROOKE: I'm not lying.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
[DRUMS PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
[SINGING] I do know and I've been told
ALL: I do know and I've been told
Big Dick Richie got a cock of gold
ALL: Big Dick Richie got a cock of gold
Now, let's give it up for the Virgin Kid
ALL: Let's give it up for the Virgin Kid
Anything you want, he won't forbid
ALL: Anything you want, he won't forbid
Now, Mikey got a pipe you gonna love
ALL: Mikey's got a cock you know you gonna love
What he got down low fits like a glove
ALL: What he got down low fits like a glove
Soldiers, sound off
ALL: One, two
- Sound off ALL: Three, four
ALL: One, two, three, four, one, two...three, four
[HIGH-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING]
ALL: Ho, ho, ho, ho.
[GUNFIRE ON SPEAKERS]
[DRUMBEATS ON SPEAKERS]
[ADAM CLEARS THROAT]
[MIKE CHUCKLES]
MIKE: Oh, don't do that. Don't do that.
I didn't-- He did that himself.
I'm bringing him home.
BROOKE: Hey, brother bear.
[MIKE GRUNTS]
BROOKE: Thank you. MIKE: He's just stoned out of his mind.
Heh, yeah, um, um...
MIKE: Hi.
MIKE: What's up, dude? Yeah, we, we-- My bad. We, uh...
BROOKE: Yeah. MIKE: All right. I'll see you later.
What's up, dude?
[WHISPERING] Is that Paul?
BROKE [WHISPERING]: Yeah. lt's-- Yeah. MIKE: It is?
[INAUDIBLE]
MIKE: It's going good? BROOKE: Yeah, it's good. Just, heh, go on.
Hey, I-- uh, thanks. Thanks for bringing him back.
I told you I was going to take care of him, didn't I?
BROOKE: Watch yourself. MIKE: All right, heh.
[SIGHS]
So, uh, I don't know, how's school or whatever?
Um... It's good. It's good.
[JOAN NA CLEARS THROAT]
I'm sorry, what the fuck do you study again?
Social studies, or sociology or...
JOAN NA: Heh, did you say "social studies"?
MIKE: Social science, heh?
What, am I in middle school or something, heh?
JOANNA: No. No.
MIKE: No? JOANNA: Psychology.
So how much longer you got in, uh, psychology?
Uh, I have, uh, six weeks until I'm...
MIKE: For real? Six weeks? - Yeah.
And then I'm a certified shrink. Six weeks. That's right.
MIKE: Wow. - I know. People have to pay me now, heh.
- That's huge. JOANNA: It is, yeah.
I'm not paying you. Not for these little visits, at least.
I'd feel bad taking money from you.
Heh, I'm too fucked up anyway, so...
Oh, you're not so bad.
[JOAN NA CLEARS THROAT]
So are you going to open up--?
You ask a lot of questions, don't you? Little Chatty Cathy tonight, huh?
- Chatty Cathy. - Chatty Cathy.
And questions are off-limits, I guess?
- They're always off-limits. - Really?
You don't need to talk. Just look pretty.
What was your name? I can't remember. What was it?
[CHUCKLES]
Look, I'm going to go, okay? Um, but I'll give you a call?
MIKE: Mm-hm. - Mm-hm.
MIKE: Mm-hm. - Okay.
- Mm-hm. MIKE: Mm-hm, muah.
Get out of here.
[JOAN NA CLEARS THROAT]
[GRUNTS]
[RINGSIDE'S "MONEY" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
TITO: That's what I'm saying. I'm...
I'm looking at longevity. This is fun for now, I'm not gonna be...
...this young and beautiful forever. Strip malls, I think I got a good idea.
You know, and I watch all these people, Carleton Sheets and these guys on TV.
And I read this book called Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
GIRL: That's a great book. TITO: You read that?
GIRL: I went to the convention. TITO: Yeah, uh, Robert Kiyosaki.
GIRL: Kiyosaki. TITO: Yeah, that's the guy.
GIRL: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
DALLAS: Heeey-ah!
All right, all right, all right, hey, ah.
DALLAS: If everybody can quiet down a second here.
Quiet down a sec?
RICHIE: Hey, everybody. Shut the fuck up.
DALLAS: Richie, that's fucking microsuede, man.
RICHIE: Aw, shit. Sorry, bro. DALLAS: It's all right. Thanks.
All right, now I got an announcement to make.
DALLAS: Now, that means you too, Tarzan. Come on, big boy...
...out of the shadows, into the light. Come on, baby.
I've been telling y'all this is going to be a special night for a long time.
Now I'm going to tell you why.
Despite the hurricane that has soiled our rather bountiful...
...Saturday afternoon...
...the good Lord has blessed the Kings of Tampa this summer.
Can I get an "amen" on that?
ALL: Yes. RICHIE: Amen.
DALLAS: Mm.
We've been talking a lot about the markets.
Waiting for the sweet spot.
Waiting for our time to make our move, take our show global.
Well, as of September 1st...
...we will no longer be the Cock-rocking Kings of Tampa.
No, sir, no, ma'am.
We will be the Cock-rocking Kings...
...of 4000 square feet...
...of Miami prime-time beachfront real estate, motherfuckers.
[ALL CHEERING]
Ah, Big Dick, keep it fucking hanging low.
- Tito, call them Cubano cousins, huh? TITO: They on their way, baby.
Kid, you ready for the big time, huh? You ready for the big time?
Tobias, you ready to take yourself to the beach?
I'm ready, man. I'm ready, huh.
Ken, the housewives are gonna love you down there.
KEN: We are blessed. - They're gonna love you.
Huh, Tarzan. Did you know they made trees tall enough to swing from Tampa...
...to motherfucking Miami, huh? Unh!
Yeah. My main man.
The moon is just a chip shot away, brother, heh.
A chip shot away. Fuck, yeah.
I got to let it sink in, man. We're really doing this?
Oh, fuck, yeah, we're doing this, man. This is our time.
All right. All right.
Listen, man. I couldn't even have dreamed all this shit up without you.
We're gonna do it together, we're gonna do it just like we always said.
- Seven-point-five across the board-- - You meant to say 10, didn't you?
Congrats, Kid.
Thanks, man.
Heh, you know, if you ever want to go in on a pack with me...
Mike's not interested, but we can go halfsies.
I could make it worth your while.
Yeah, sure.
[TOBIAS LAUGHS]
- I'll talk to you later about it, okay? - Yeah.
ADAM: Who is that?
MIKE: Nora.
I don't think you need that in your life, bro.
Heh, hey, baby girl, what are you doing?
Huh?
No, I'm at, uh-- I don't know, I'm at this party.
It's getting lame. I want to get out of here.
How about I, uh, come scoop you up? I can bring you a present.
What?
- What thing? DALLAS: Boom!
I got a thing.
Come on, you ain't--
All right.
Okay. All right, I'll call you later.
This is Herman.
ADAM: Hi, Herman.
He likes you.
KEN: Hey, y'all. It's all right.
ADAM: Hey, man.
NORA: We'd like to order.
KEN: All right.
[KEN CLEARS THROAT]
- That pig is so fucking cute. WOMAN: Heh.
KEN: Angels or demons?
NORA: Angels. KEN: Angels. Okay.
KEN: If you chew it, it'll hit you quicker. WOMAN: Heh.
KEN: You're gonna fucking love this one. ADAM: Yeah.
Yeah, fucking Miami, man. Heh, fucking Miami.
[ADAM SIGH]
[KEN SIGHS]
KEN: How you kids doing tonight?
WOMAN: That storm is crazy, huh?
KEN: Beautiful. NORA: Mmm...
[SIGHS]
KEN: My wife's tits are awesome, right?
ADAM: What?
KEN: I said my wife's tits are awesome.
Yeah.
Check them out, man.
ADAM: You fucking joking? - I'm not fucking joking. Check them out.
Feel them. They're so fucking, heh, amazing.
[KEN'S WIFE CHUCKLES]
Come on.
[CHUCKLES]
KEN: It's okay. Go ahead, man.
- They're real, I swear. ADAM: Yeah, I bet they are.
[CHUCKLES]
See?
- Heh. - This is okay?
It's okay with me, man. She loves it.
ADAM: I fucking love you.
No, man, I love you.
ADAM: You don't understand. - I love you.
No, I fucking...
I fucking love you, man.
KEN: I love you, man. You're such a fucking special soul.
ADAM: I love you.
KEN'S WIFE: I love you too.
[TYPING ON KEYBOARD]
[ADAM WHISTLES]
[CAR HORN HONKING]
MIKE: Is she even home?
ADAM: Brooke!
MIKE: Hi.
ADAM: What do you think?
BROOKE: Is it yours?
ADAM: Is it mine? Fuck, yeah, it's mine.
BROOKE: It's very you.
Come on. Let's go. We're going to celebrate.
Come on.
- Come on. - Come on.
Come on. Come here. Come on.
- Are you calling me like a dog? MIKE: What, huh?
- Are you calling me like a dog? ADAM: Who did that?
You want me to say something to him?
- Ha, ha. MIKE: I'll say something to him.
- Okay, so I've seen the stripping. - Yup.
Tell me about being an entrepreneur.
It's "entrepreneur" actually. It's, uh, French.
You know about the roofing, and I got a mobile-detailing thing.
But the whole endgame is the custom furniture business I'm trying to start.
Custom furniture? So you must be really good with your hands.
- I did not say that. - Yes, I did.
But I'm glad you made that point. It's very insightful, actually.
- That's a lot of stuff. - Yes, it is.
If you could wake up and do the one thing that would make you the happiest...
- The happiest? - Yeah, money aside.
I would wake up on the beach somewhere just making stuff every day.
- Really? - Yeah.
Really? Tables and chairs, that kind of thing?
Anything. Everything. But custom, one-of-a-kind stuff.
Not the knock-off stuff you see in people's kitchens from time to time.
Hey. I don't have a custom furniture-maker man.
- Well, now you do. - Okay? Heh.
- So are you in business? Why aren't you? - Heh.
I will be as soon as the banks start making the competitive rates and loans.
Look, I've been saving for six years.
Why do you think I'm doing all these stupid businesses...
...and the stripping? I've saved about 13 grand. It's gonna happen eventually.
- Wow, 13. That's a lot of ones. - Heh.
There were some fives in there.
No 20s?
You don't want to know what I have to do for 20s.
- I don't. - Let's drink these and I'll show you.
- BROOKE: No, that's okay, heh. MIKE: Heh.
So, Miami, huh?
Mm-hm.
- Don't be mad. - I'm not mad.
I'm not trying to tell him what to do. I just don't like it.
Did you just...? I want to clear something up. Did you just take my advice?
By not telling him what to do? No. I just don't have a choice.
- I think that was something I said to you. - What, you want some credit?
- Are we fighting? - Ha, ha.
Is this our first fight?
Come on. Let's make up.
- I don't like being mad at you. - Look at that face.
- I really don't like being mad at you. - You guys are going to have fun in Miami.
[CHUCKLES]
Just try not to forget about the normal people.
Like the people who exist in the daylight. The non-vampires.
- So you're not a vampire? - No, I'm not a vampire.
Well, this is not going to work out at all between you and I.
[BROOKE LAUGHS]
- A thing for vampires, heh? - Yeah. Got a bit of a thing.
You want to get something to eat sometime?
I don't know, just like get some food?
What do you mean, like a date?
No. If you don't want to call it that, no.
I don't know.
Why? Because of what's-his-name that moved to Orlando?
Paul?
- Yeah. Paul and I are figuring things out. - Hmm.
How's that going, heh?
- Are you going to weigh in on that too? - No.
Plus, I don't exactly sport-fuck my brother's stripper friends.
I'm sorry, who said anything about that?
I was just talking about talking and being friends.
If you want to talk, my door is always open, Mike.
ADAM: Are you trying to hit on my sister?
MIKE: No. I'm sorry, and if I was, what the hell are you going to do about it?
Whoa, brother.
[ADAM LAUGHS]
- Not me. Her. BROOKE: Heh.
Oh, my God. Come on, let's do one more. One more, come on.
Dude, I would love to, but we can't. You get Dallas' text?
We got a sorority in like a half hour.
BROOKE: A sorority?
Five hundred bones to rub our nuts...
-...on some girl's chest. - Adam, I see what's happening here.
MIKE: I ate a Kappa just like this. I ate a Kappa. I ate a Kappa.
You guys are really... Have a great time.
MIKE: Come on. We gotta stop fighting like this.
BROOKE: Heh. MIKE: We gotta stop fighting.
Just find your own way back. I got the keys, right'?
You do not have the keys. Oh, shit, you do.
BROOKE: I have the keys. MIKE: She's got the keys. We got to go.
[POP MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
MIKE: Good evening. You live here? KIM: Yeah.
- Yeah? What's your name? - Kim.
Kim, can you move back for me, please?
We keep getting complaints of noise and underage drinking.
Gentlemen? Everybody's 21 here?
I might need to check some IDs, unfortunately.
Can you accompany me in here, please?
Ladies, everybody's 21 here?
- Yeah. - Yes?
She is definitely not 21, I'm sorry. What's your birthday?
SORORITY GIRL Uh, May 20th, 19..
That's what I thought. Put your hands on the wall. Everybody sit.
We're going to be here for a while.
Can you please spread your legs for me, ma'am?
You don't have anything sharp on you that I can stick myself with, do you?
SORORITY GIRL: No. - Good.
Because I do.
[ALL SCREAMING AND CHEERING]
Did you see it?
Hey!
Did you give some Ecstasy to my girl?
No.
I said, did you give some Ecstasy to my chick?
Hey, fuck off.
Okay. Cool.
[ALL SCREAM]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Hey!
MIKE: Hey, back the fuck up. We got to go. Let's go. Adam, let's go.
All right, back the fuck up.
Let's go. Let's go.
MIKE: Oh, what are you doing, man? What the fuck are you doing...
...giving pills to girls that you don't know?
ADAM: Shit, dude. MIKE: You're lucky we got out of there.
ADAM: My backpack. We have to go back. MIKE: Fuck your backpack.
ADAM: No, you don't understand. It has my fucking pills.
MIKE: Fuck your pills. You're going to have to eat it.
Tobias fronted me pills. Sell them off for some extra cash.
What the fuck are you doing taking--? Front from Tobias?
Why is he giving you pills? How many?
Heh, I don't know, man. Fucking like a hundred.
"Like a hundred," or a hundred? That's a grand.
Have to pay every one of those back.
Fuck, dude. Fuck that. Guess what?
MIKE: What do you mean, "fuck that"? ADAM: I got that equity, baby.
ADAM: Dallas gave me that cut in Miami, whoo!
I don't even fucking care about a fucking grand. Who cares?
Fuck. Damn, that was crazy shit.
Fuck.
[PEOPLE IN RESTAURANT CHATTERING]
ADAM: You bailing on me? MIKE: Nope, not at all.
- Oh, my God. What are you doing here? JOANNA: Hey.
I thought you were out of town, like, forever.
Yeah, I decided to stay in town.
- Great. What's up, man? Mike. - Ryan.
MIKE: Nice to meet you, sir. - Nice to meet you.
Uh, Ryan, um, is my fiancé.
What?
Are you fucking with me right now?
I'm gonna go hit the bathroom.
No. You guys sound like you got a lot to talk about.
It's time for me to go stare in the mirror anyway.
- Nice meeting you. See you, babe. - Yes, sir.
JOANNA: Okay.
MIKE: Hmm...
Okay. All right, I'm not exactly...
Okay. All right.
It was good to see you.
DALLAS: Well, lookie here what the cat dragged in.
TOBIAS: Cono, what happened?
MIKE: Uh...
It was nothing. It was fucked up. Sorry.
DALLAS: It was fucked up"? "Sorry"?
MIKE: Mm-hm. DALLAS: That's all you got to say?
I don't know. You really want to discuss it?
I take it you didn't collect.
Yeah, I'm sorry. I forgot to ask for the money...
...as they were throwing beer bottles at our heads.
It's the last thing I need for my reputation...
...before we make the big move, Mike.
I'm sorry. Are we fucking your reputation up?
DALLAS: Hmm.
The last time I checked, I think it's the Kid and I's reputation...
...that's "making the big move" for you, isn't it?
What the fuck did you say, buddy?
I don't know, you were standing six feet away from me. You heard me.
Hey, you might want to check yourself, old friend.
Nobody walks on water on my team.
Except for you, right?
Old friend.
Ah.
What are you thinking about?
Biting the hand that feeds you, big dog, huh?
You don't fucking feed me, Dallas.
I can walk right out that door. Right now.
And do a fuck of a lot better than 7.5 percent.
I'm sorry, that used to be 10.
But you don't.
You didn't. And you won't.
Because you can't.
I can't? Okay.
DALLAS: So you got to deal with what you got.
TOBIAS: Hey, what's going on'?
ADAM: That pack you gave me? TOBIAS: Mm.
ADAM: It's gone. - That's great.
Gone.
ADAM: It's "gone" gone.
- You lost it? - I'm sorry, man.
Fuck sorry. You got to take care of this.
ADAM: We'll figure it out. It's fine.
No, you need to figure it out.
ADAM: Get the fuck off me.
Seniority don't mean shit around here, man.
You are worth the cash you pry out of their fucking purses.
You know that better than anybody.
You want a bigger piece? Come up with some fresher shit, man.
You're not getting any younger.
What the fuck are you doing?
I need you doing the sailor routine tonight. I got four tables of Navy wives stageside.
- Get changed. - Oh, no. I'm taking your advice.
Bringing you some fresher shit. Seeing as I'm getting equity and all.
[ALL CHEERING]
[EXCISION AND DATSIK'S "CALYPSO" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
TITO: Perfect date time.
TARZAN: Give me the astronaut thing.
RICHIE: I met this guy...
KEN: You got them going out there, Mike.
KEN: Good job, man.
RICHIE: He's met just about every single Russian and American astronaut...
...that's ever been in outer space, living or dead.
The first man in outer space...
...Russian. Yuri Gagarin.
TARZAN: Cosmonaut. RICHIE: He's the second one.
The first one died on reentry.
MIKE: We're gonna get fucked up tonight, right?
BROOKE: Mike.
BROOKE: Mike, hello.
[BANGING ON DOOR]
BROOKE: Open up.
BROOKE: Mike. - All right. Hold on.
- HeY- -|-ley-
You have fun last night?
- What? - Did you have fun last night?
Yeah, uh, what's up?
Is Adam here?
He left me weird-sounding voice messages, sounded fucked up.
And now I can't reach him.
- Yeah, he's in here. - Okay. Cool.
BROOKE: Where is he?
MIKE: Uh, he should be upstairs.
He's with somebody, though, so, you know, I'd call out.
Kid.
Adam?
Adam. Adam.
MIKE: Fuck. BROOKE: Adam.
MIKE: Hey. Come here.
[ADAM GASPS]
MIKE: Stop. He's fine, he's breathing.
Oh, my God, Adam. What the fuck did he take'?
Uh, probably just some G. Open your eyes, dude.
- What the fuck did you do to my brother? MIKE: Relax. Yo, Brooke.
He's breathing. He's fine.
Get the fuck off me, Mike. I'll fucking kill you. I will fucking kill you.
- He's going to be fine, heh. - He's not okay.
- Calm down. - No, shut up. Shut up!
Shut up. I see you, Mike. I fucking see you.
You think you have your shit all figured out, but I fucking see you.
You just need to relax. You're acting fucking crazy. And I get it.
You are a bullshit, 30-year-old male stripper.
- Okay. How about just get the fuck out? - No problem.
Done. Adam, wake the fuck up. Adam, please.
[WHIMPERING] Adam, let's go. Come on, Adam.
BROOKE: Adam. God.
Adam. Wake up. Adam, we have to go.
- Stop. - No, Mike, this is my brother.
Brooke, let me please carry him out. Stop.
[SOBBING]
I can't do this anymore, Adam.
You hear me?
TOBIAS: Come on, let's go.
You guys need to stop already.
MIKE: Motherfucker.
[ALL GRUNTING]
TOBIAS: Mike? Get off of him. Hey.
Hey!
[ALL GRUNTING]
MIKE: Fuck off. TOBIAS: I'm so sorry, primo.
Sorry? Fuck you, man.
What are you doing breaking into my house?
TOBIAS: I tried calling your cell, man.
My cell? Fuck my cell. What are you fucking doing, man?
I told them not to break shit, but they don't work for me.
That did a good job, didn't it?
TOBIAS: Look, man, I'm sorry. We're looking for the Kid, okay?
Uh, so you brought them here?
- What are you looking for him for? - He's late on his front.
And as you can see, he was due today.
It's 100 pills. That's 1000 bucks. I think he's good for that, don't you?
No, no, no. Is that what he told you? A hundred?
We went in on a whole pack, hombre. A whole pack.
- What's his half? - Ten grand.
MIKE: What? TOBIAS: Ten grand.
I don't know if he lost it, or if he's just being a fucking kid.
Either way, it doesn't matter anymore. Okay?
Look, you got to--
What am I--?
I don't know, I can maybe sign over the van...
...until he can figure out something out.
Fuck, I don't know, man.
Come on, primo. The guys I'm rolling with, they ain't about fucking paperwork, man.
TOBIAS: If you want, I can talk to my guys and we can try to get him another day.
And what the fuck would that do? He doesn't have it.
Hey, look-- I just hate to see you doing this.
MIKE: Just don't give him any more shit to sell.
No, that's fine. He's starting to act like a real punk.
- One of us should talk to him. - Well, you've done enough, haven't you?
I'll talk to him. It's fine.
[GATE OPENING THEN CLOSING]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
[MIKE SIGHS]
He)'-
Um...
I'm looking for Adam. He's not picking up his phone.
- Is he all right? - Yeah, he's okay.
I mean, he doesn't live here anymore.
MIKE: Where is he?
I'm not sure. I think he's with Nora.
Okay, cool. Just, uh, let him know that I'm looking for him if you see him.
Ha, this is so much bullshit.
You know that, right?
This is really how we're going to end this? Are you fucking serious?
- I said everything I needed to say. - You had a lot to say yesterday.
You don't have anything else to say? You want to add onto that?
You damn sure didn't let me talk, so let me talk now.
I'm sorry that I fucked it up.
I didn't mean to do that. I didn't want to fuck it up. I promised...
...that I would take care of him, and I didn't, and I'm sorry about that.
You're the last person that I--
Yeah, I believe you...
...and I know you're basically a good person.
Adam was...
...going to do whatever Adam wanted to do.
I just can't be around your lifestyle.
You can't be around my--? I'm not my lifestyle.
That's who you think--? That isn't fucking--
I'm not-- Am I Magic, uh--?
Am I Magic Mike right now talking to you?
I'm not my goddamn job. That's not who--
That's not what I do. That's not me. It is what I do, but it's not who I am.
I'm not just--
That's why I want to go to Miami.
I don't want to fucking be some 40-year-old stripper.
I want to own something. I want to actually--
I've been trying to, this whole time--
So you don't believe anything that I've said to you?
You don't-- Right now. Nothing. I'm just--
You don't believe any of it?
Mike, I think the question is, do you believe it?
I just think that Miami is going to be a bigger, badder version of this.
But good luck to you.
If you believe it, good luck to you.
And Adam too.
But I'm going to be here.
He)'-
I, uh...
I want to say thank you about the money.
I know how much that shit meant to you...
...especially because of that furniture crap you wanted to do.
[ADAM CHUCKLES]
I, uh...
I'm gonna pay you back every last cent. I want you to know that.
All right.
Man, we're gonna look back in 20 years. You're gonna be dead, probably...
...but I can look back in 20 years and look at the shit that we've done together, man.
Fuck. Look where I was three months ago.
Three months ago.
Look at where I am now.
I can't thank you enough.
Fuck, man. I was nowhere.
I have money.
I can fuck who I want to fuck.
I have freedom, thanks to you.
And I'm having a fucking ball.
And we're going to have a fucking ball in Miami, man.
So can you smile? Can you look at me?
I only have one thing to say.
And that is: To my best friend.
A guy who has given me more in this lifetime than I could ever ask for.
And to bright futures.
DALLAS [SINGING]: Ladies of Tampa
[CROWD WHOOPS]
The first time that you ever walked into my life
In oh many ways you all became my wife
[CROWD CHEERING]
Ladies, yeah, I'm talkin' to you
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Ladies of Tampa
Even though we gotta go
There's one thing you gotta know
Ain't no matter How much you love me for sure
Ooh, ooh, ooh
I'll always love you more
[CROWD CHEERING]
I'll always love you more than you know
You got me tied to a chain I'm just a slave to your soul
And there ain't nothin' I can do about it That's fo' sho
[CHEERING CONTINUES]
Ladies of Tampa
[KISS'S "CALLING DR. LOVE" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
DICK: I could be a friend to you. TARZAN: Ha, ha.
What about romance?
TITO: Hit them with the long arm of love, baby.
DICK: My good friend, Andy. TITO: Ha, ha.
TARZAN: I'm just saying you always put up a fight.
TITO: I know what we could do: Anaconda Part 3.
ADAM: Hey, uh, what about--?
[CHEERING CONTINUES]
DALLAS: Whoo!
TITO: Yeah. - Motherfucker.
Dallas be riding again.
Whoo! It's a fucking revival.
Huh!
Hot damn. It feels good to be back on that fucking horse again.
TITO: That was the old stuff. - Oh, shit.
TITO: Still got it.
Y'all ready to rock a little and fucking rein them in?
ALL: Yeah.
DALLAS: Yeah.
Where's Mike?
He's gone.
DALLAS: Mikey?
TITO: He went back to take a piss. He should be back any second.
Mikey's gone.
DALLAS: What do you mean, he's gone?
I thought he was going to go take a piss and he went out the back door.
TITO: Hey, Mike, yo.
TITO: Let's go, we're up.
He's coming back, man.
All right, come here.
You ready to be the man?
- Are you ready to be the man? - Yes, I'm ready.
- I've been waiting for this for a long time. - It's all yours. Come here.
[DALLAS GRUNTS]
Start right fucking now. Let's make it fucking count.
All the way. Let's go. Kid's in, Mike's out.
Let's bring this motherfucker down all the way to Miami. Let's go. Hey.
DALLAS: All right, ladies. So we know we made fire.
We know we got fire, now we got to make it rain.
Can you make it rain, ladies? Can you make it rain?
Let's give it up for the last time on this stage.
The one, the only, your very own, the Cock-rocking Kings of Tampa.
[CROWD CHEERING]
BROOKE: Hey.
What are you doing here?
MIKE: Um...
Aren't you supposed to be at the show?
Can I, uh, um...?
I just need to talk.
Yeah, okay.
Come on in.
[CLEARS THROAT]
MIKE: Um...
I, uh-- I just came by to--
Look, before you say anything...
...I just need you to know that...
...when you came by this morning, Adam hadn't told me what you did for him.
And that was really a lot of money.
- You did not have to do that. - I didn't do it for him.
Look, that's not even why I came by. I just--
Ah, um, look, I'm not going to Miami.
- Really? - Yeah. I think you're right. I'm done.
Wow.
What are you gonna do?
Heh, I don't know. I guess I need a new plan.
Do you want to get some food and talk about it?
What, like a date?
Well...
What would Tall Paul say, huh?
Tall Paul can't say anything anymore. I broke up with him.
He didn't like breakfast food?
Not as much as I do.
This is a good thing. In that case, I would love to get some breakfast.
Okay.
Let's go get something to eat.
The thing is I only go to one place. It's my favorite place.
They have the best omelets. They know my order. I walk in...
...the food's basically on the table. They'd help you out too.
Get some wafﬂes for you, pancakes, whatever you want.
I love waffles. Let's go there.
The problem is it doesn't open until 6 a.m.
That's like seven hours from now.
Mm-hm.
Yeah.
What could we do with seven hours?
[English - US - SDH]
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