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jon: Welcome to "the daily
Show."
My name is jon stewart.
Got a good one for you tonight.
Our guest tonight, the author
Salman rushdie.
I can't imagine which events
Currently in the news will be
Discussed.
(laughter)
Hey, remember the republican
Conventions that took place two
Weeks ago.
Big opportunity for one mitt
Romney.
he will have his first major
National platform to introduce
Himself and his ideas to the
American people.
jon: Yes!
(laughter)
After only a solid, let's say,
Seven years on the campaign
Trail.
(laughter)
Mitt romney finally had a prime
Time television slot to
Introduce himself to the voters.
And ultimately ended up getting
Upstaged by a piece of wood.
All right.
(laughter)
A piece of wood who spent most
Of his time talking to a chair.
Boom!
(laughter)
Boom!
(cheers and applause)
No.
I still love clint eastwood.
I'm going on record.
Still love clint eastwood.
All right, just three weeks
After being upstage bid a chair
And completely botching his
Response to the horrible events
In libya, a new announcement
From the romney campaign.
the romney camp is said to be
Engineering a reboot.
call it a romney reset.
we begin with mitt romney
Who's just unveiled a new
Campaign strategy.
jon: Did we say we were
Gonna introduce him at the
Convention?
No, no.
That's not--
(laughter).
You always reintroduce the
Candidate three weeks after the
Convention.
(laughter)
Sort of like saying to a girl
"come on, just go on a seventh
Date with me."
(laughter)
"I'll grow on you."
(laughter)
So the big rollout of romney 9.0
Started yesterday.
How'd the reboot go.
topping the agenda today,
Mitt romney in damage control
Mode.
jon: On day one of the
Reboot?
(laughter)
Yes, the romney campaign's
Reboot was spoiled by footage
From last may of governor romney
At a $50,000 a plate fund-raiser
Talking to rich people about
Poorer people in a manner you
Would imagine cartoon rich
People talk about cartoon poorer
People.
(laughter)
there are 47% of the people
Who will vote for the president
No matter what who are dependent
On government, who believe that
They are victims.
Who believe that they're
Entitled to health care, to
Food, to housing, to you name
It.
jon: Release the hound.
(laughter and applause)
Who are they?
Who are these 47%ers?
These self-perceived victims who
Only want to stuck from the teet
Of the bootstrap of the job
Creating-- teet-having
Boot-teet-- just tell us who
They are.
these are people who pay no
Income taxes.
So my job is not to worry about
Those people.
I'll never get their support.
They should take personal
Responsibility and care for
Their own lives.
jon: Did you hear it?
Did you write that down?
The people who don't pay income
Tax.
These 47% of this country that
Will never be convinced to take
Personal responsibility for
Their lives.
They are unconvincable.
Even by a man of such persuasive
Abilities as mitt romney.
(laughter)
Even he whose charisma has been
Compared not unfavorably with a
1993 chrysler he barren.
(laughter)
Even he-- who are these 47%ers?
Let's examine it.
It turns out of the 47% who pay
No income taxes, nearly
Two-thirds of those do pay
Payroll taxes.
Meaning they work, they just
Ain't working hard enough.
You know, like a family of five
Making $50,000 a year.
A.K.A., the amount of money it
Takes to see mitt romney (bleep)
On them in person.
(laughter)
And the other 40%, the true
Freeloaders.
Settle down.
The other 40% of the 47%, the
True freeloaders who pay no
Federal income tax or payroll
Tax are actually made up of
Those making less than $20,000 a
Year and many of the nation's
Elderly.
Mr. Romney knows them as
"personal responsibility
Shirking unconvincables."
You may know them as "the
Greatest generation" and/or
"that that."
(laughter)
Of course, that says nothing
About the real parasites,
Welfare queens.
Public assistance is clearly a
Path to dependency and I would
Like to see evidence otherwise.
Oh, you have some evidence, mitt
Romney's mom?
Something about mitt romney's
Dad?
you know we've only owned our
Home for the last four years.
He was a refugee from mexico.
He was on relief, welfare relief
For the first years of his life.
But this great country gave him
Opportunities.
jon: Oh.
My.
God.
(laughter)
George romney was on welfare.
So according to mitt romney's
Own logic, mitt romney could not
Win the vote of his dad.
(laughter)
Who would be one of the 47% of
Unconvincables.
And the hits keep coming.
Romney continues in the video
Suggest the palestinians don't
Want peace and all we can do in
The middle east is kick the can
Down the road and hope for the
Best and that, while his dad was
Born in mexico he,
Unfortunately, doesn't get the
Full benefit of that.
I'd have a better shot of
Winning this.
My dad was not born in mexico.
He was living in there for a
Number of years.
I say that jokingly.
(audience reacts).
jon: You can't do that.
You can't make the joke and then
Immediately double down on the
Seriousness of the premise.
"hey, jimmy's mom, what a whore.
I'm kidding.
But seriously, she earns her
Living having sex with people."
(applause)
That's not a way-- by the end of
This tape, the only person who
Whose support mitt romney might
Be able to count on holding is
His own wife.
we use anne sparingly right
Now so people don't get tired of
Her or start attacking.
(audience reacts).
jon: Hey, hey.
No, hey, hey, show me a
Beautiful woman and I'll show
You someone tired of campaigning
With her, am I right, huh?
I'm kidding, of course.
I'm kidding.
But seriously, it is unbearable.
(laughter)
Needless to say, mitt romney had
To address this situation
Mid-reboot.
good evening.
I understand that there's a
Video that's been on the
Internet for a few weeks that
Has attracted some attention.
(laughter)
jon: That pretty much
Describes every video on the
Internet.
(laughter)
Are you talking about gangnam
Style?
Panda sneezing?
Oh, right, the video of you
Disrespecting 47% of americans.
That's why you just casually
Interrupted a big fund-raiser at
10:30 at night with the mitt
Romney version of bed head.
this is really a discussion
About the political process of
Winning the election and, of
Course, I want to help all
Americans, all americans, have a
Bright and prosperous future.
jon: Sure, yeah, no, wow.
His words say "no big deal, I
Want to help all americans."
But his eyes and body language
Say "holy (bleep), we're all
Gonna die!"
(laughter)
Let me give you a better example
To illustrate the dichotomy
Between the message mitt romney
Is sending verbally and the
Message he's sending visually.
Ladies and gentlemen, I take you
To a cruise ship somewhere in
The north atlantic.
(laughter)
Hey, ladies and gentlemen, it's
Me, your captain.
I understand there's been some
Talk of ice on the star board
Side of the ship.
(laughter)
That's attracted some attention.
(laughter)
(cheers and applause)
Anyway, I-- I just want to take
A moment to reassure everybody
We have it under control.
Obviously we all look forward to
Reaching the other side of the
Ocean with everybody not in a
Watery grave.
(laughter)
This would be so much easier if
I was latino.
(laughter and applause)
Welcome back.
Now, we're talking about mitt
Romney's relationship with the
Latino community was already
Somewhat strained.
Then came the release of these
Tapes with him saying things
Like this.
it would be helpful if I were
Latino.
jon: Yes, very helpful.
That's taken romney's
Relationship from no bueno to
Bueno b *ubgseno and he knows
That is dangerous.
if the hispanic block become
A committed to to the democrats
As the african americans have
We're in trouble as a party and
I think as a nation.
(audience reacts).
jon: And this is a guy
Whose religion forbids him from
Drinking alcohol.
Can you imagine what he would
Say if he was (bleep) faced?
(laughter)
Hey, let me tell you something
Else, don't get me started on
The asians, I'll telling you!
Tricky, tricky people.
For more on the story, we're
Joined by al madrigal and
Jessica williams.
Thank you for joining us.
(applause)
Al madrigal, jessica, do you
Take these comments as a latino,
As an african american, as
Offensive in any way.
wait, you mean romney is not
A latino?
Are you sure about that?
jon: Yeah.
he's got great hair, five
Kids, his wife drives two
Cadillacs.
It sound pretty latino to me.
(laughter).
jon: He's not.
But he's saying that if he was
Latino it would be easier for
Him to become president.
not just president, jon,
Everything in this country is
Easier if you're latino.
(laughter)
You think I could have gotten
Into college if I wasn't latino?
No way!
Affirmative action!
It's just like shakespeare said
"of all the races 'twixt earth
And sky, latinos are the
Luckiest."
(laughter)
jon: Um, which play was
That from?
the one with the latinos in
It.
(laughter)
"romeo and juliet."
(applause)
Like I said, I only got into
College because I'm latino.
hey, well, that's nothing,
All right?
I'm black and a woman.
We don't even have to apply to
College.
We just send in a head shot and
They send us a diploma.
(laughter)
Which reminds me, I need to mail
This.
Med school graduation, here I
Come!
(laughter).
jon: But romney has
Degrees.
Romney has a law degree, an
M.B.A.
right, but as an
Underprivileged rich white male
He had to earn those!
jon: But he had a lot of
Help.
He just-- it wasn't from the
Government.
His father paid for his
Education, gave him a loan for
His first house.
It gives him an edge in building
A successful business.
jon, you're missing the
Point.
He still had to build his
Business.
Latinos just have to wait for
Someone else to build it then we
Landscape it and move in.
(laughter).
(applause).
jon: I didn't know that.
That--
jon: Not to mention that we
Never have to look for work.
It just comes to us!
I can stand on a street corner
Anywhere in the country and
Guarantee you a pickup truck
Will pull up and literally offer
Me a job on the spot.
(laughter)
he's right.
You know, the system's been
Against romney from the start.
Look at the government housing
He grew up in.
That's what?
Huh?
Three stories?
Black people get, like, 50
Stories of government housing.
(laughter)
And you know, which ever way you
Look at it, john, being a
Minority and/or poor is a net
Positive.
jon: All right.
Al maddrey gal and jessica
Williams, (cheers and applause).
jon: My guest tonight is
Best selling author, his new
Book is a memoir called "joseph
Anton."
Please welcome to the program
Salman rushdie.
(cheers and applause)
How are you?
not so bad, thank you.
jon: Um, wow.
(laughter)
"owe josef anton: A memoir."
You went through hell.
But I think it's very difficult
To place yourself in someone
Else's shoes until you read
About it in vivid and quite
Beautifully written prose.
oh, thank you.
jon: Oh, you're very
Welcome.
Describe that-- it's sort of
This incredible day, it's
Valentine's day.
Go through the day you find out
That another nation's leader has
Singled you out to die for a
Book you wrote.
well, I was sitting at home,
I got called at home by the bbc.
jon: This ises pretwitter?
(laughter)
pretwitter, prefacebook,
There's no cell phone.
There's just fax machines.
Remember those?
jon: I do remember those.
(laughter)
well, that's how long ago it
Was.
Anyway, the phone rings, a land
Line phone jon.
(laughter).
jon: With, like, a cord?
(laughter)
yes, with, like, a cord.
With the handle attached to
This--
jon: Like a lime green
Kitchen phone and you're just
Talking around like-- you're in
A robe making a smoothie,
Whatever.
exactly, humming early
Beatles songs.
jon: Yes!
anyway, this woman says to me
On the phone "how does it feel
That-to-know that you've just
Been sentenced to death by the
Aoeayatollah khomeini?"
I thought "good question."
(laughter)
And I said something stupid
Like, you know, it doesn't feel
That good.
And than I ran down stairs and
Ridiculously locked the front
Door.
(laughter)
So then it was okay.
jon: Right, right.
Pull the blinds.
yeah, exactly.
jon: It doesn't start to
Dawn on you-- it's so
Interesting, too.
You write about this as sort of
Th-t another person.
well, it sort of was another
Person, you know?
I-- I felt-- I mean I feel now
Like that was happening to
Somebody else.
And I wrote the book because I--
Like a novel because I felt that
Somehow my life turned into a
Sort of spy novel.
Suddenly there were armed
Policemen and there were-- I was
Take on the the james bond
Building on the thames with
People who actually had double-o
Prefixes and then I was being
Told that there were
Assassination squads on the way
From somewhere, you know?
And I mean this is kind of-- now
It makes a good book.
At the time not so good.
(laughter).
jon: Sure.
There are other ways to get good
Material for a book.
Sebastian junker will sometimes
Climb something.
jon: I think if you can
Avoid being sentenced to death
By the aoeu toe lacombe mainny
And have death squads, avoid it.
(laughter).
jon: So all together the
Lesson here is not really worth
A good book.
well, you know, I'm a writer.
I mean, sebastian junger climbs
Mountains, I do stuff for books.
jon: When you look at
What's going on today, is it
Like watching the sequel to a
Terrible movie that you were
Involved in and now obviously
You're happy it's starring a
Different actor or--
except it's gotten a (bleep)
In the central role.
(laughter).
(cheers and applause)
jon: So this is very
Interesting.
So you look at the guy in the
Central role here and for you
You go, okay, that guys an as
(bleep).
Is it still-- does your heart go
Out to him or do you feel like,
Oh, well this guy was trying to
Be provocative.
You were not trying to be
Provocative.
What is the difference in your
Mind?
well, look we have to defend
His right to free speech.
We have to.
The first amendment is one of
The most valuable things we
Have.
But that doesn't mean we have to
Not say he's a jerk.
jon: Right.
because even jerks have the
Right to free speech but they're
Still jerks and he did something
Clearly in order to incite a
Response.
jon: Right.
and the sad thing is that he
Got exactly the response he was
Trying to incite only in spades.
So it's like both sides kind of
Collaborating to create this
Calamity.
jon: And what is-- what is
This calamity?
Because ultimately is this an
Exercise in leaders of other
Countries finding a distraction?
How much of this do you feel
Like was heart felt insult on
Their part and how much of it
Was cynical manipulation of the
Population?
I think it's mostly cynical
Manipulation.
I think now unfortunately in
Parts of the islamic world
There's a kind of outrage
Industry, you know?
Where people are there trying to
Fine things that they can then
Wind up the troops and launch
Them, usually at american
Targets.
jon: Right.
you know, if you have the
Leader of hezbollah saying that
This was all planned by u.S.
Intelligence--
jon: They have not seen
What we can do.
(laughter)
We don't pull a lot of this
Stuff up.
You know, what struck me is this
Comes from youtube and it's some
Guy.
Is it because in that part of
The world the government does
Control a lot of the material
That comes out so they have a
Hard time imagining just
Individuals uploading something
On their own?
or they can be fooled to
Think that it's somehow part of
The government.
The government had to approve it
Because, you know, you live a
Part of the world that the
Government has to approve
Everything.
If you want to take a photograph
Of your wife, the government has
To approve it.
But it's-- no, it is really a
Power play.
This is people trying to bid up
From each other about who gets
To shape the future of that part
Of the world.
jon: It was interesting.
Even in iran when they were
Doing the green revolution right
After the election there and
Ahmadinejad was reelected in
Iraq and accusations of fraud
Even then the government was
Saying "these are not our people
Rising up, these are western
Agents whipping up, these are
Saboteurs."
that's right.
jon: There is never any
Sense that there's fallibility.
no, it's always deflected
Into an anti-western-- one of
The things I try to say in the
Book is that what happened to me
Way back in the days of fax
Machines was a kind of prelude,
A kind of prologue, if you like,
To what's happening now.
Because I think you can draw a
Straight line from then to now
And see the growth of this
Phenomenon of sort of organized
Outrage.
jon: And what stops it?
In your mind is it everyone
Standing up at once or is it
Something that has to burn out
Within its own population?
I think unfortunately that,
Probably.
And I think there's times that
It does.
I mean, you know, the rule of
The aoeu toe la is not popular
In iran.
The rule of the taliban was not
Popular in afghanistan.
So this stuff does seem to take
Over, particularly attract young
Men with nothing better to do,
No girlfriends.
(laughter).
jon: Right.
Oh, my god, this could all be
Solved by j-date.
Well, not j-date, but I-date.
That could do it.
You have to go, you're running.
Otherwise we would talk for--
otherwise I'd stay here.
jon: You'd stay here for
Things.
"joseph anton."
It's on the bookshelves now.
An incredible story.
Salman rushdie, everybody.
(cheers and applause)
(cheers an.
jon: That's our show, join
Us tomorrow night at 11:00.
Pink will be in the studio.
By the way, if you would like to
See mitt romney's tape stated
More elegantly, our own deranged
Millionaire john hodgman will be
Doing it on the web for you.
Enjoy it.
Here it is, your moment of zen.
there are 47% of the people
Who will vote for the president
No matter what.
There are 47% who are with him
Who are dependent upon
Government, who believe that
They're victims, who believe
That government has a
Responsibility to care for them,
Who believe that they're
Entitled to health care, to
Food, to
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