伊甸园
公元前4004年
亚茨拉斐尔 东门天使 Aziraphale. Angel of the Eastern Gate.
什么事 主 Yes, Lord?
我给你的那把烈焰之剑去哪了 亚茨拉斐尔 Where is the flaming sword I gave you, Aziraphale,
用来守卫伊甸园大门的那把 to guard the Gate of Eden?
剑 对 Sword? Right.
又大又锋利 用来砍东西的那东西 没错 Big, sharp, cutty thing. Yes.
一定是... Oh, must have, uh
一定是放在这里某个地方了 must have put it down here somewhere.
接下来连我自己脑袋在哪也忘了 Forget my own head next.
天啊 Oh, dear.
美索不达米亚
公元前3004年
你好啊 亚茨拉斐尔 Hello, Aziraphale.
克蠕利 Crawley.
你给了凡人一把烈焰之剑 So, giving the mortals a flaming sword.
结果怎么样 How did that work out for you?
全能的主实际上再也没有提起这茬了 The Almighty has never actually mentioned it again.
八成是件好事 Probably a good thing.
这是怎么回事 What's all this about?
造一艘大船 再在上面放个移动动物园吗 Build a big boat and fill it with a travelling zoo?
我听说上帝有点易怒 From what I hear, God's a bit tetchy.
要消灭人类 Wiping out the human race.
巨大的风暴 Big storm.
所有人吗 All of them?
只是当地人啦 Just the locals.
我不觉得全能的主在生中国人的气 I don't believe the Almighty's upset with the Chinese.
或者生美洲原住民的气 Or the Native Americans.
或者生澳洲人的气 Or the Australians.
目前没有而已 而且上帝实际上 Yet. And God's not actually
也不会消灭所有的当地人 going to wipe out all the locals.
我是说 诺亚 那上面那个 I mean, Noah, up there,
他的家人 和他的儿子儿媳们 his family, and his sons, their wives,
他们都不会有事的 they're all going to be fine.
但是其他人都会被淹死吗 But they're drowning everybody else?
孩子们不会吧 不能杀孩子啊 Not the kids? You can't kill kids.
这种事比较像是我们的人才会做的吧 Well, that's more the kind of thing you'd expect my lot to do.
没错 但等完事之后 Yes, but when it's done,
全能的主将会建一个新东西 「雨弓」[彩虹] the Almighty's going to put up a new thing, called a "Rain bow",
作为不会再次把所有人都淹死的保证 as a promise not to drown everyone again.
多么仁慈啊 How kind.
你不能妄议全能的主 克蠕利 You can't judge the Almighty, Crawley.
上帝的计划都... God's plans are
你是想说"不可言喻"吗 Are you going to say "ineffable"?
大概吧 Possibly.
闪[诺亚长子] Oy! Shem!
那只独角兽要跑啦 That unicorn's going to make a run for it.
太迟了 太迟了 Oh, it's too late. It's too late!
你至少还剩一只 Well, you've still got one of them.
天父 求您了 Father, please.
您必须原谅他们 You have to forgive them.
他们不知道自己在做什么 They don't know what they are doing.
你是来嘲笑这个可怜蛋的 对不对 Come to smirk at the poor bugger, have you?
嘲笑 我 Smirk? Me?
是你们的人把他架上刑场的 Well, your lot put him on there.
他们做政策决定并不会事先咨询我 克蠕利 I'm not consulted on policy decisions, Crawley.
我已经改了 Oh, I've changed it.
改了什么 我的名字 Changed what? My name.
「克蠕利」不太适合我 "Crawly" just wasn't really doing it for me.
有点过于...在脚边蠕动的感觉 It's a bit too... squirmingatyourfeetish.
你以前确实是条蛇啊 Well, you were a snake.
所以你现在叫什么 So, what is it now?
梅菲斯特 阿斯莫德 Mephistopheles? Asmodeus?
克劳利 Crowley.
你之前... Did you, uh...
遇见过他吗 ever meet him?
遇见过 Yes.
看着像是个很开朗的年轻人 Seemed a very bright young man.
我给他看了世界所有的王国 I showed him all the kingdoms of the world.
为什么 Why?
他是个来自加利利的木匠 He's a carpenter from Galilee.
旅行的机会有限 His travel opportunities are limited.
那一定很疼 That has got to hurt.
他说了什么让大家这么生气 What was it he said that got everyone so upset?
「要善待彼此」 "Be kind to each other."
没错 这句确实会惹众怒 Oh, yeah. That'll do it.
罗马
8年后
你这有什么 What have you got?
随便给我一罐能喝的东西 Give me a jug of whatever you think is drinkable.
一罐自酿酒 Jug of house brown.
两塞斯特斯[古罗马货币] Two sesterces.
克蠕利 克劳力 Crawley Crowley?
哎呀 Well...
很高兴在这里遇到你 Fancy running into you here.
你还是个恶魔吧 Still a demon, then?
那是什么蠢问题 「还是个恶魔吧」 What kind of stupid question is that, "Still a demon"?
我还能是什么 非洲食蚁兽吗 What else am I going to be, an aardvark?
身体健康[希腊语] Salutaria.
会在罗马待很久吗 In Rome long?
只待一下 诱惑个人 Just nipped in for a quick temptation.
你呢 我想试试 You? I thought I'd try
佩特洛尼乌斯新开的餐馆 Petronius' new restaurant.
我听说他很会料理生蚝 I hear he does remarkable things to oysters.
我从来没吃过生蚝 I've never eaten an oyster.
让我来诱惑一下你... Oh, well, let me tempt you to
不好 Oh, no.
不 那是你的工作才对 No, that's that's your job, isn't it?
威赛克斯王国
公元537年
有人吗 Hello?
在下乃圆桌骑士亚茨拉斐尔爵士 I, Sir Aziraphale of the Table Round,
前来此地 am here to speak
与黑暗骑士洽谈 to the Black Knight.
好吧 Oh. Right.
你好 Um... hello.
嗯 过来 我... Yeah, come. I...
我想见黑暗骑士 I was hoping to meet with the Black Knight?
你一直在找寻黑暗骑士 傻瓜 You have sought the Black Knight, foolish one.
但你只找到了自己的死亡 But you have found your death.
头盔底下是你吗 克蠕利 Is that you under there, Crawley?
是克劳利 Crowley.
你在搞什么鬼啊 What the hell are you playing at?
没事 伙计们 我认识他 他没问题的 It's alright, lads. I know him. He's alright.
我是来散播煽动的 I'm here spreading foment.
煽什么 熬粥啊 What is that, some kind of porridge?
才不呢 我是在...煽动异议和分歧 No. I'm, you know, fomenting dissent and discord.
亚瑟王在这片土地上散播了太多的 King Arthur's been spreading too much
和平和安宁 peace and tranquillity in the land,
所以我来了 来煽动 so I'm here, you know, fomenting.
我是来宣扬和平的 Well, I'm meant to be fomenting peace.
所以我俩在这潮湿的地方拼命工作 So we're both working very hard in damp places
结果只是相互抵消了对方的努力 and just cancelling each other out?
可以这么说 Well, you could put it like that.
这里是有点潮 It is a bit damp.
如果我俩都待家里这事就简单多了 Be easier if we both stayed home.
我们不如递消息回去给各自的总部 If we just sent messages back to our head offices
就说我们已经按他们的要求做完了 怎样 saying we'd done everything they'd asked for, wouldn't it?
但那是撒谎 But that would be lying.
大概吧 但结局是一样的 Eh, possibly, but the end result would be the same.
抵消对方的努力 Cancel each other out.
但是 我的同事们... But, my dear fellow...
他们会检查的 well, they'd check.
米迦勒比较...一丝不苟 Michael's a... bit of a stickler.
你可不会愿意惹加百列生气的 You don't want to get Gabriel upset with you.
我们恶魔有很多乐子 Oh, our lot have better things to do
才不会没事找事去核实人间的执行报告 than verifying compliance reports from Earth.
只要把文件交给他们 As long as they get the paperwork,
他们就满足了 they seem happy enough.
只要能偶尔被看见在做事... As long as you're being seen to be doing something
就行了 every now and again.
不行 绝对不行 No! Absolutely not!
你居然会做这种暗示 我简直震惊了 I am shocked that you would even imply such a thing.
此事免谈 We're not having this conversation.
不理你了 Not another word.
好吧 好吧 Right. Right!
伦敦环球剧院
1601年
卖生蚝 Oysters!
卖橘子 来点葡萄 谢谢 Oranges! Some grapes, please.
生存还是死亡 这是个问题 看着真好吃 To be or not to be, that is the question. They look scrummy.
究竟哪样更高贵 Whether 'tis nobler in the mind
去忍受那狂暴的命运 to suffer the slings and arrows
无情的摧残 of outrageous fortune...
你不是说我们在这里不会引人注意吗 I thought you said we'd be inconspicuous here.
能融入众人 Blend in among the crowds.
我是这么想的 Well, that was the idea.
等等 卖橘子 Hang on. Oranges!
这不会是莎士比亚卖惨的作品吧 This isn't one of Shakespeare's gloomy ones, is it?
怪不得没人呢 他来了 No wonder nobody's here. Shh. It's him. It's him.
两位先生 可以请你们帮个小忙吗 Prithee, gentles. Might I request a small favour?
你们 作为观众 Could you, in your role as the audience,
可以给我们更多反应吗 give us more to work with?
你是说 当他父亲的鬼魂上场时 You mean, like when the ghost of his father came on,
我说 「他在你身后」 and I said, "He's behind you!"
就是这样 这太棒了 Just so. That was jolly helpful.
让舞台上的演员都感到被看重 Made everyone on stage feel appreciated.
再多来点那样的 A bit more of that.
伯比奇先生 拜托 Good Master Burbage, please.
台词念得轻快些 Speak the lines trippingly.
我简直是在浪费时间 I am wasting my time up here.
不不 你演得很好 No, no, you're very good.
我喜欢你的 I love all the...
说话 talking.
你朋友怎么想呢 And what does your friend think?
他不是我的朋友 Oh, he's not my friend.
我们没见过 我们不认识 We've never met before. We don't know each other.
我觉得你该继续演 I think you should get on with the play.
是啊 伯比奇 拜托了 Yes, Burbage. Please.
从头来 From the top.
生存还是死亡 To be or not to be.
这是个问题 That is the question.
生存 不 死亡 To be! I mean, not to be!
加油 哈姆雷特 振作起来 Come on, Hamlet! Buck up!
究竟哪样更高贵 Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
去忍受那狂暴的命运 他真棒 是吧 the slings and arrows... He's very good, isn't he?
岁月不使他枯萎 Age does not wither,
风潮变幻 也看不厌他的多变 nor custom stale his infinite variety.
说得很不错 Yeah, I like that.
去死 去睡 To die. To sleep.
再不... 你想干什么 No more... What do you want?
你为什么要暗示说 Why ever would you insinuate
我可能有什么想要的 that I might possibly want something?
你肯定没打好主意 You are up to no good.
当然了 那你打了好主意吗 Obviously. You're up to good, I take it?
要做很多好事吗 Lots of good deeds?
好人...不休息嘛 No rest for the... well, good.
我周末前得去爱丁堡 I have to be in Edinburgh at the end of the week.
要做几个祝福 A couple of blessings to do.
施一个小奇迹 A minor miracle to perform.
我还得骑匹马 Apparently, I have to ride a horse.
骑马可伤屁股了 Hard on the buttocks, horses.
要我说 重大设计缺陷 Major design flaw, if you ask me.
我这周也计划去爱丁堡的 I'm meant to be heading to Edinburgh too this week.
引诱一个族长去偷几头牛 Tempting a clan leader to steal some cattle.
听上去并不困难 Doesn't sound like hard work.
忍受那失恋的痛苦 衙门的横征暴敛 The pangs of despised love and the insolence of office.
默默无闻的劳碌 所以我想着我们... And the spurns that we are... That's why I thought we should...
这样不是挺浪费力气吗 Well, bit of a waste of effort,
我们都去苏格兰的话 both of us going all the way to Scotland.
你不是真要说... You cannot actually be suggesting...
我推断 what I infer...
你在暗示的意思 you are implying.
那是什么 Which is?
我们中一人去爱丁堡 完成两件事 That just one of us goes to Edinburgh, does both.
祝福和引诱 The blessing and the tempting.
我们以前也干过 We've done it before.
好几十次呢 Dozens of times now.
这安排... 别那么说 The arrangement Don't say that.
我们各自的总部才不在乎 Our respective head offices don't actually care
事情都怎么办妥的 how things get done.
他们只想知道这事可以从清单上划掉了 They just want to know they can cross it off the list.
但如果地狱发现了 可不仅是生气那么简单 But if Hell finds out, they won't just be angry,
他们会毁了你的 they'll destroy you.
不用让任何人知道 Nobody ever has to know.
跟你丢硬币决定谁去爱丁堡 Toss you for Edinburgh.
好吧 我要头 Fine. Heads.
恐怕是字 你要去苏格兰了 Tails, I'm afraid. You're going to Scotland.
每次表演都是这样 朱丽叶 It's been like this every performance, Juliet.
完全冷场 Complete dud.
想要人来看《哈姆雷特》那真得是奇迹发生了 It'd take a miracle to get anyone to come and see "Hamlet".
好吧 Yes, alright.
这个我来 请客了 I'll do that one. My treat.
真的吗 我还是喜欢搞笑的那些 Oh, really? I still prefer the funny ones.
巴黎
1793年
误会 ...mistake
错误... Uh, erreur.
法语有点生疏了 Bit out of practise at the French.
我会说英语 I speak English.
听啊 Listen to that.
断头台刀的下落 The fall of the guillotine blade.
是不是很可怕 Is it not terrible?
是啊 砍掉那可怜女人的脑袋 真可怕 Yes. Yes, cutting off that poor woman's head. Terrible.
是皮埃尔 就是个外行 It is Pierre. An amateur.
他总是太早松绳子 Always he let go of the rope too soon.
你该庆幸 是我 让·克劳德 You are lucky that it is I, JeanClaude,
将砍下你这叛徒肩膀上的脑袋 who will remove your traitorous head from your shoulders.
这就是个天大的误会 Look, this is all a terrible mistake.
我觉得你不懂... 我有好消息告诉你 I don't think you understand I have good news for you.
你是第999个将在 You are the 999th aristo
断头台上死于我手的贵族 to die at the guillotine by my hand.
但是第一个英国人 But the first English.
好了 Now...
别这样 Please. No.
肢解我是可怕的错误 Dreadful mistake, discorporating me.
那绝对会是场噩梦 Oh, it'll be a complete nightmare.
禽兽 Animals.
禽兽才不用聪明的机器 Animals don't kill each other
互相残杀呢 天使 with clever machines, angel.
只有人才那么做 Only humans do that.
克劳利 Crowley.
老天爷啊 Oh, good Lord.
你为什么会被 What the deuce are you doing
关进巴士底狱 locked up in the Bastille?
我以为你要开书店呢 I thought you were opening a book shop.
本来是的 Well, I was.
但我饿了 I got peckish.
「饿了」 "Peckish"?
如果你非要知道 都怪可丽饼 Well, if you must know, it was the crepes.
只有巴黎才有好可丽饼 You can't get decent ones anywhere but Paris.
还有法式甜面包 And the brioche.
所以你在大革命期间 穿越海峡 So you just popped across the Channel during a revolution,
就因为你想要点吃的 because you wanted something to nibble?
还穿成那样 我是有品位的 Dressed like that? I have standards.
我听说了他们这边有点做过头了 I'd heard they were getting a bit carried away over here but
是啊 这才不叫做过头 Yeah, this is not getting carried away.
这是用一台大砍头机 This is cutting off lots of people's heads very efficiently
高效地砍掉好多脑袋 with a big headcutting machine.
你为什么不再施展个奇迹 然后回家 Why didn't you just perform another miracle and go home?
我上个月被斥责了 I was reprimanded last month.
他们说我施展了太多的无聊奇迹 They said I'd performed too many frivolous miracles.
加百列写了封措辞严厉的批评信 Got a strongly worded note from Gabriel.
算你走运 我正好在这一带 Well, you're lucky I was in the area.
大概是吧 I suppose I am.
你为什么来 Why are you here?
我们的人嘉奖了我的杰出工作表现 My lot sent me a commendation for outstanding job performance.
这都是你的恶魔作祟吗 So all this is your demonic work?
不 是人类自己想出来的 No. The humans thought it up themselves.
跟我没关系 Nothing to do with me.
我想我该说声谢谢 Well, I suppose I should say thank you
谢谢你救我 for the, uh, rescue.
别那么说 Don't say that.
如果我们的人听说我救了个天使 If my people hear I rescued an angel,
我可就麻烦了 I'll be the one in trouble.
我们的人可不写责骂信 And my lot do not send rude notes.
总之 我真的很感激 Well, anyway, I'm very grateful.
我请你吃午饭怎么样 What about if I buy you lunch?
就穿这样去吗 Looking like that?
这算不上是奇迹吧 Well, barely counts as a miracle, really.
穿成这样 他就只能背锅了 Dressed like that, he's asking for trouble.
午餐吃什么 What's for lunch?
可丽饼怎么样 What would you say to some crepes?
圣詹姆斯公园 伦敦 1862年
我一直在想 要是搞砸了怎么办呢 Look, I've been thinking. What if it all goes wrong?
你和我有很多共同点 We have a lot in common, you and me.
我不知道 I don't know.
我们或许一开始都是天使 We may have both started off as angels,
但你选择了堕落 but you are fallen.
我不是真的堕落下去的 I didn't really fall.
我只是... I just, you know...
慢慢悠悠往下溜达 sauntered vaguely downwards.
我要你帮我个忙 I need a favour.
我们已经达成一致了 克劳利 We already have the agreement, Crowley.
平时保持距离 Stay out of each other's way.
危急关头再拔刀相助 Lend a hand when needed.
是别的事 This is something else,
如果计划出了岔子[梨形] for if it all goes pearshaped.
我喜欢梨 I like pears.
如果事情搞砸了 If it all goes wrong,
我想要一份保险 I want insurance.
什么 What?
我都写下来了 隔墙有耳 I wrote it down. Walls have ears.
不是墙 是树上 Well, not walls. Trees have ears.
鸭子们也有耳朵 Ducks have ears.
鸭子有耳朵吗 Do ducks have ears?
肯定有 要不怎么听其他鸭子说话 Must do. That's how they hear other ducks.
不可能 Out of the question.
为什么 Why not?
那会毁了你的 It would destroy you.
我可不会给你「自杀毒药」 克劳利 I'm not bringing you a suicide pill, Crowley.
我也不想 只是保险起见 That's not what I want it for. Just insurance.
我不是白痴 克劳利 I'm not an idiot, Crowley.
你知道如果他们得知我们亲近 Do you know what trouble I'd be in if...
我会惹上什么麻烦吗 if they knew I'd been fraternising?
我绝对不会这么做 It's completely out of the question.
亲近 Fraternising?
随便你用哪个词 Well, whatever you wish to call it.
我觉得这没什么好谈的 I do not think there is any point in discussing it further.
我还有很多人可以亲近 天使 I have lots of other people to fraternise with, angel.
你当然有了 我不需要你 Of course you do. I don't need you.
我也有同感 很明显 Well, and the feeling is mutual, obviously.
很明显 Obviously.
伦敦
1941年
格罗茨亚先生 哈默内先生 Mr Glozier. Mr Harmony.
斐尔先生 你迟到了 Mr Fell. You are late.
但不用担心 But not to worry.
你带了给元首的书吗 You have the books for the Fuehrer?
是的 带了 Yes, I do.
预言书 Books of prophecy.
奥特威尔·宾斯 罗伯特·尼克松 Otwell Binns, Robert Nixon,
希普顿院长 按要求都是初版 Mother Shipton. First editions, as requested.
我们让你带来的另一本书呢 What about the other book we told you to bring us?
元首点名要的那一本 The Fuehrer was most definite that he needs it.
预言成真的那本 It has the prophecies that are true.
有了真正的预言书 战争肯定会赢 With the true prophecy book, the war is as good as won.
《女巫艾格妮丝·风子的精妙准确预言书》 The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch.
很不幸 那就是预言书中的圣杯 No luck. I'm afraid that is the Holy Grail of prophetic books.
元首也想要圣杯 The Fuehrer also wants the Holy Grail.
还有命运之矛 如果你能找到的话 And the Spear of Destiny, should you run across them.
为什么艾格妮丝·风子的书没有副本 Why are there no copies of Agnes Nutter's book?
我们都说了钱不是问题 We have made it clear that money is no object.
你会变得非常富有 You will be a very rich man.
尚未出售的《精妙准确预言书》副本 The unsold copies of The Nice and Accurate Prophecies
都被出版商毁了 were destroyed by the publisher,
也就是 全部副本 which is, well, all of them.
一本都没卖出去过 It never sold a single copy.
但我找到了出版商1655年的目录 But I found the publisher's catalogue for 1655,
里面列出了艾格妮丝·风子的其中一则预言 and it does list one of Agnes Nutter's prophecies.
什么预言 What was it?
是她对于1972年的预言 Her prophecy for 1972.
「别买比特迈斯磁带」 "Do not buy Betamax." 录像机磁带格式 在设备竞争中败给VHS 被淘汰出市场
谁是彼特·麦斯 Who is Peter Max?
我不知道 I have no idea.
我会转告元首 I will pass it on to the Fuehrer.
这则预言将会在这周之内传到柏林 These volumes of prophecy will be in Berlin by the end of the week.
元首会很感谢你的 The Fuehrer will be most grateful.
斐尔先生 你帮了我们很多 You have been exceedingly helpful, Mr Fell.
但遗憾的是你必须得死 但振作起来 Such a pity you must be eliminated, but take heart,
不过又是一条死于德国对英国空袭的生命罢了 just another death in the Blitz.
那可不是很公平 That's not very sporting.
你看起来不是很担心 我的朋友 You do not appear worried, my friend.
他的确不担心 He's not worried.
她是谁 Who is she?
她是我认识的纳粹双面间谍 She, my doubledealing Nazi acquaintance,
因为她 这些书都不会被送到柏林 is the reason why none of those books are going back to Berlin,
并且你们肮脏的间谍网 and why your nasty little spy ring
在剩余的战争里都会被关进牢内 will be spending the rest of the war behind bars.
我向你们介绍一下英国军事情报局的 Let me introduce you to Captain Rose Montgomery
萝丝·蒙哥马利上尉 of British Military Intelligence.
谢谢你的介绍 Thank you for the introduction.
我方对你们俩了如指掌 Our side know all about you two.
她雇我为你们工作 She recruited me to work for you.
现在她会告诉你这栋楼 And now she's going to tell you that this building
已经被英国特工包围了 is surrounded by British agents,
而你们俩已经... and that you two have been
那个可爱的美国用语怎么说来着 What is that lovely American expression?
被当傻子耍了 Played for suckers.
其实关于那个... 好了 各位 Yes, about that Right. Everyone!
出来吧 Come on!
把他们包围起来 Round them up!
萝丝 你的人都在哪呢 Rose, where exactly are your people?
我们都在这呢 We are all here.
允许我介绍一下 Allow me to introduce
葛丽泰·克莱因施密特小姐 Fraulein Greta Kleinschmidt.
她跟我们是一伙的 She works with us.
你把这个傻瓜书商骗得团团转
做得好 亲爱的
毫无难度 亲爱的
他特别好骗
「被当傻子耍了」 我一定要记下来 "Played for a sucker". I must remember that.
我被当傻子耍了 你被当傻子耍了 I am played for a sucker, you are played for a sucker,
他 她 它 都要被当傻子耍了 he, she, it... will be played for a sucker.
好了 我们说到哪了 Now, where were we?
对了 杀了你 Oh, yes. Killing you.
你们不能杀我 You can't kill me.
要写很多报告的 There'll be paperwork.
抱歉 神圣之地 Sorry, consecrated ground.
简直就像赤脚踩在热沙滩上 Oh! It's like being at the beach in bare feet.
你怎么会在这 What are you doing here?
阻止你惹麻烦 Stopping you getting into trouble.
我早该料到的 当然 I should have known. Of course.
毕竟这些人为你工作 These people are working for you.
不 他们是一群在伦敦晃悠的 No. They're a bunch of halfwitted Nazi spies
纳粹蠢间谍 running around London,
敲诈勒索 杀人害命 blackmailing and murdering people.
我只是不想看到你尴尬 I just didn't want to see you embarrassed.
安东尼·J·克劳利先生 Mr Anthony J. Crowley.
久仰大名 Your fame precedes you.
安东尼 你不喜欢吗 Anthony? You don't like it?
不 不 我没那么说 我会慢慢习惯的 No, no, I didn't say that. I'll get used to it.
您就是那位著名的克劳利先生 The famous Mr Crowley?
你们俩都得死真是太遗憾了 That's such a pity you must both die.
J代表什么 What does the "J" Stand for?
就是J而已 真的 It's just a "J", really.
快看啊 Look at that!
一池子圣水 A whole fontful of holy water.
连个看守都没有 It doesn't even have guards.
别废话了 把他俩都杀了 Enough babbling. Kill them both.
大概一分钟后 一架德国轰炸机将投下炸弹 In about a minute, a German bomber will release a bomb
炸弹会正好落在这 that will land right here.
如果你们跑得非常非常快 可能不会死 If you all run away very, very fast, you might not die.
你们不会想死的 You won't enjoy dying,
更不会想体验死后的事 definitely won't enjoy what comes after.
你以为我们会相信吗 You expect us to believe that?
炸弹今晚会投在伦敦东区 The bombs tonight will fall on the East End.
没错 这需要恶魔在最后关头动点手脚 Yes. It would take a lastminute demonic intervention
让炸弹偏离轨迹 to throw them off course, yes.
你们都在浪费宝贵的逃跑时间 You're all wasting your valuable runningaway time.
如果30秒后炸弹真的落在这里 And if, in 30 seconds, a bomb does land here,
我和我的朋友将需要一个真正的奇迹才能活下来 it would take a real miracle for my friend and I to survive it.
一个真正的奇迹 A real miracle?
杀了他们 他们真的很烦人 Kill them. They are very irritating.
你真是太好了 That was very kind of you.
算了吧你 Shut up.
是真的 Well, it was.
别的不说 报告就帮我省了 No paperwork, for a start.
那些书 Oh, the books.
我彻底把书的事给忘了 Oh, I forgot all the books!
它们都要被炸成... Oh, they'll all be blown to...
我的恶魔小奇迹 Little demonic miracle of my own.
要送你回家吗 Lift home?
伦敦 苏豪区
1967年
斯派克 你是打手 So, Spike, you're the muscles,
你来拉绳子 you'll be hauling on the ropes.
然后她就从绳子上滑下去吗 And she'll be going down on the ropes then?
等一下 Hang on.
你是谁 Who are you?
听说你需要一个锁匠 I understand you need a locksman.
我等的人是纳克先生 I was expecting Mr Narker.
纳克先生去上帝那儿领赏了 Well, Mr Narker's passed on to his reward.
我接手了他的生意 I've taken over the business.
他是我的狱友 他对我倾囊相授 He was my cellmate. He taught me everything he knew.
你可以叫我沙德维尔 My name's Shadwell.
请坐 沙德维尔先生 Please, sit down, Mr Shadwell.
如果你不介意的话 Lance Corporal Shadwell.
请叫我一等兵沙德维尔 If you don't mind.
到底是什么东西这么贵重 So, what's so valuable
他们竟会把它留在教堂过夜 that they're going to leave it in a church at night?
等我们到那儿以后 我会告诉你们 We'll go over the details of what you're obtaining for me
要取的东西是什么 when we get there.
你们都会得到非常丰厚的报酬 You will all be very well compensated.
你有什么问题 一等兵沙德维尔 You have a question, Lance Corporal Shadwell?
要从教堂偷东西 Stealing from a church.
这里面 不会牵扯到巫术吧 There's nae witchcraft involved here, is there?
没有 No.
这次盗窃和女巫扯不上半点关系 Completely witchfree robbery.
真可惜 Mm. Pity.
还有别的问题吗 Any other questions?
你自己不会就是女巫 You are not yourself a witch,
术士或者给自己的猫起怪名字的人吧 warlock or someone that calls your cat funny names?
不是女巫 没有宠物 别的人呢 Not a witch. No pets. Anyone else?
我们会得到多少报酬 What are we getting paid?
先给一百块 A hundred now,
事成之后 再给一百 another hundred when the job's done.
多加一百 让你们封口 A hundred more to keep schtum.
克劳利先生 Mr Crowley?
我可以占用你一点时间吗 May I have a moment of your time?
当然可以 一等兵沙德维尔 Yes... Lance Corporal Shadwell.
你在哪儿服役 What are you a lance corporal in?
你看起来不像个军人 You don't look like an army man.
这正是我想和你谈的事情 Well, that is precisely the matter upon which I planned to talk to you.
你可能还记得今晚早些时候 You might remember earlier this evening,
我问了一个关于巫术的相当尖锐的问题 I asked a rather pointed question about witchcraft.
是的 我自豪地加入了一个庞大组织 Yes. Well, I am a proud member of an enormous organisation.
大到难以想象 Vast.
这是一支与巫术势力对战的秘密军队 A secret army that battles the forces of witchery.
你好厉害啊 How nice for you.
也许你听说过猎巫人军团 The Witchfinder Army. Perhaps you've heard of it.
什么 你刚不是说这是个秘密 What? I thought you said it was secret.
谁也说不准 一位像你这样的绅士 Well, you never know when a gentleman such as yourself
可能正需要这样一个组织 might have need of such an organisation.
这样一位一掷千金的人 A man with hundreds of pounds to throw around.
如果你需要我们 If you need us,
猎巫人军团为你效劳 the Witchfinder Army are here for you.
整支军队 A whole army?
考虑一下吧 Think it over.
你知道在哪能找到我 You know where to find me.
你在这儿干嘛呢 What are you doing here?
我得和你谈谈 I needed a word with you.
谈什么 What?
我在苏豪区工作 听到一些传闻 I work in Soho. I hear things.
我听说你在策划...不法活动 I hear that you're setting up a... caper
准备抢劫教堂 to rob a church.
克劳利 这太危险了 Crowley, it's too dangerous.
圣水不仅会毁灭你的肉体 Holy water won't just kill your body.
它会彻底摧毁你 It will destroy you completely.
你105年前已经告诉过我你的想法了 You told me what you think 105 years ago.
我并没有改变主意 And I haven't changed my mind.
但我不能让你去冒险 But I can't have you risking your life.
就算是为了危险的事情也不行 Not even for something dangerous.
所以 So...
你可以取消行动了 you can call off the robbery.
不要拧开盖子 Don't go unscrewing the cap.
货真价实吗 It's the real thing?
最神圣的 The holiest.
你说了这么多 还是要帮我 After everything you said.
我该感谢你吗 Should I say thank you?
最好不要 Better not.
要我捎你去哪儿吗 Well, can I drop you anywhere?
不用了 谢谢 No, thank you.
别这么失望嘛 Oh, don't look so disappointed.
也许有一天 我们可以... Perhaps one day we could...
我不知道 I don't know.
一起去野餐 Go for a picnic.
在丽兹大饭店用餐 Dine at the Ritz.
让我送你一程吧 你想去哪儿都行 I'll give you a lift. Anywhere you want to go.
你的速度太快了 克劳利 You go too fast for me, Crowley.
好 兆 头 第 三 集
对不起 打对电话了 Sorry. Right number. 停止营业
我得去总部说明一切 I'll just go to head office and explain it all.
是这样 加百列 Yes. So, Gabriel, um...
听着 加百列 Listen, Gabriel,
最神圣的大天使加百... most holy Archangel Gabr 距离世界末日还有一天
不行 那样太正式了 No, that's too formal.
你好 加百列 我的老朋友 Hello, Gabriel, me old mate.
我们得去搞定一...一个孩子 There is aaa child we have to deal with
让一切恢复正常 andand make everything OK again.
天啊 Oh, God.
你好 加百列 Hello, Gabriel.
我觉得应该告诉你一下 Just thought you ought to know
因为在医院里不小心弄混了 that due to an unfortunate mixup in a hospital,
敌基督被放错地方了 the Antichrist has been mislaid.
不过现在没事了 因为我已经找到他了 But it's alright, because I've found him.
他住在英国乡村塔德菲尔德 He's living in the English village of Tadfield.
他的11岁生日是 And his 11th birthday was the start of...
一切的终结 uh, the end of things.
我有他家的地址 所以我们现在只需要消灭他 I have his address, and so we just have to eliminate him now,
然后一切仍然会好起来的 没错 then everything could still be OK, yeah.
他身边跟着一只巨大的地狱恶犬 He'll have an enormous Hell Hound with him.
所以要发现他很容易 He won't be hard to spot.
如果说地狱恶犬有过任何期望的话 This wasn't, insofar as the Hell Hound had had any expectations,
这并不是它所想象的 what he had imagined life would be like
末日决战前最后几天的生活 in the last days before Armageddon.
身材决定本性 Form shapes nature.
某些适合小狗的行为方式 There are certain ways of behaviour appropriate to small dogs,
在它的基因里已经根深蒂固 which are in fact welded into the genes.
它会去惊吓隔壁那只大橘猫 He'd surprised the huge ginger cat from next door,
并试图用它平时的发光瞪视 and had attempted to reduce it to cowering jelly
把对方吓成一团蜷缩的果冻 by means of the usual glowing stare.
以前它从未失过手 It had always worked in the past.
狗狗期待着与猫咪进一步互动 Dog was looking forward to a further cat experiment,
其实就是在猫旁边跳来跳去和激动地对它狂吠 which would consist of jumping around and yapping excitedly at it.
简直不敢相信 简直难以置信 I can't believe it! I can't believe it!
350年来 我的家族都把它保管得很好 Three hundred and fifty years my family kept it safe.
整整350年 Three hundred and fifty years!
太愚蠢了 So stupid!
来吧 狗狗 Come on, Dog.
你好 你还好吗 我可以帮忙吗 Hello, are you OK? Can I help?
我没事 I'm fine.
但你在哭 But you were crying.
我知道 I know.
你好 Hello.
我知道我这样听起来会很蠢 This is going to sound so stupid,
但我把书丢了 然后反应有点过火 but I lost my book and it all just got a bit much.
我可以帮你找它 I can help you look for it.
你人真好 Oh, that's sweet of you.
这本书在我家族内流传很久了 It's been in my family for a long time.
我也曾经写过一本书 I wrote a book once.
关于一个曾是名侦探的海盗 It was about this pirate who was a famous detective.
我保证我的书比任何你丢的书都刺激 I bet it was a lot more exciting than any book you've lost.
特别是那段在飞船里的剧情 Especially the bit in the spaceship
恐龙们跑出来和牛仔打架 where the dinosaur comes out and fights with the cowboys.
我保证我的书能让你开心起来 I bet it'd cheer you up, my book.
我叫亚当 我住在猪背巷 I'm Adam. I live in Hogback Lane.
谢谢你 亚当 Thanks, Adam.
我是安娜丝玛 Oh, I'm Anathema.
你是住这附近吗 Are you from around here?
这里是我的世界 This is my world.
从猪背森林到迪普 From Hogback Wood to the Dip,
还有从老采石场到那边的水塘 and from the old quarry up to the pond.
你有见到两个开着一辆古董大黑车的男人吗 You haven't seen two men in a big black vintage car, have you?
是他们偷走的书吗 Did they steal it?
专业偷书贼 Professional book thieves,
开着他们的车到处偷书 probably go around in their car stealing books.
不不不 他们不是故意偷走那本书 No, no, no, they didn't mean to steal it.
你想喝柠檬汽水吗 Do you want some lemonade?
我们要闯进那个小屋 Are we going to have to break into the cottage
跟里面的女巫打一场吗 and battle the witch for it?
那是我的小屋 That's my cottage.
我租下了它 I'm renting it.
很抱歉我想问一句 Look, excuse me for asking,
希望这个问题不会太敏感 if it's not a personal question,
但你是女巫吗 but are you a witch?
不是 我是神秘学者 No, I'm an occultist.
那就好 Oh, well, that's alright, then.
进来 你这只呆狗 Come on, you silly dog.
门上高悬着一只马蹄铁 There had been a horseshoe over the door
它已在茉莉小屋挂了数百年 of Jasmine Cottage for hundreds of years.
保护此处居民不受邪恶侵害 至少他们信了 It protected the inhabitants from evil, or so they believed.
你可以留它在花园里 You can just leave him in the garden.
不行 他必须听话 No. He has to do everything he's told.
我父亲说 只有它训练好了 我才能养它 My father says I can only keep him if he's properly trained.
现在 狗狗 进屋 Now, Dog, go inside.
好孩子 进屋也不是件难事 对吧 Good boy. It wasn't that hard, was it?
地狱恶犬进入了小屋 The Hell Hound entered the cottage
又有一点地狱的气息被烧掉了 and a little bit more of Hell burned away.
这顶帽子属于猎巫人 不可奸淫·帕西法少校
严格来说 Strictly speaking,
沙德维尔没有统帅猎巫人军团 Shadwell doesn't run the Witchfinder Army.
根据沙德维尔的薪水账单看 According to Shadwell's pay ledgers,
这支军队是由猎巫人史密斯将军统帅的 it is run by Witchfinder General Smith.
在他之下有猎巫人上校 格林和琼斯 Under him are Witchfinder Colonels Green and Jones,
还有猎巫人少校 杰克逊 鲁滨逊及史密斯 and Witchfinder Majors Jackson, Robinson and Smith.
再往下有猎巫人少校 汤锅 Then there are Witchfinder Majors Saucepan,
罐头 Tin,
奶瓶 已故 Milkbottle, deceased,
和橱柜 and Cupboard,
因为沙德维尔有限的想象力 because Shadwell's limited imagination
到这里就差不多枯竭了 had been beginning to struggle at this point.
旺兹沃斯最佳咖啡厅
沙德维尔中士 Sergeant Shadwell.
克劳利先生 Mr Crowley.
你看起来不错 You're looking well.
生活健康规范 Clean living.
你父亲 他怎么样 And your father, how is he?
你和他长得真的很像 You resemble him very much, you know.
大家都这么说 他挺好的 So they tell me. Yeah, he's well.
我准备好了账本 I've prepared the ledger.
大家需要薪水 阁下 The men need paying, Your Honour.
在如今这个堕落的时代 猎巫人生存艰难 It's hard times for Witchfinders in today's degenerate age.
不用给我看了 That won't be necessary.
250镑 Two hundred and fifty pounds.
我会在周六把钱给到你 I'll drop the money off for you on Saturday.
只要现金 放在信封里 Only in cash, in an envelope.
不接受刷卡 Don't take plastic.
你惊到我了 You astonish me.
那么... So...
有个叫塔德菲尔德的村庄 在牛津郡 There's a village called Tadfield, in Oxfordshire.
派你最好的手下去 Send your best people down there.
我在找一个男孩 差不多11岁 I'm looking for a boy. He's about 11.
我没有更多的信息了 I don't have anything more than that.
但查下是否有...异常的事 But look for anything... strange.
这个男孩 This, uh, boy...
他是巫师吗 he's a witch?
有可能 Possibly.
得先找到他才会知道 不是吗 We'll have to find him first, won't we?
是 Aye.
我最好的手下 Well, my best operative,
就是猎巫人桌子中尉了 that would be Witchfinder Lieutenant Table.
有发现就打电话给我 Call me if you find anything.
猎巫人胡椒中士 Witchfinder Sergeant Pepper.
我们全家都有神秘力量 All my family have had occult powers,
可以追溯到我家很早的祖先 going all the way back.
我们可以找到灵线 We can find ley lines.
好吧 什么是灵线 Right. What's ley lines?
连接着各种力量之地的看不见的线 Invisible lines of force linking places of power.
很神奇 这种看不见的线到处都是 Amazing there being all these invisible lines of force around
但我却看不到 and me not seeing them.
我们能看到光环 We can see auras.
那是什么 And they are?
围绕着一个人的某种颜色的力场 This coloured forcefield surrounding someone.
每个人都有 Everyone's got one.
我可以凭借它的力量和颜色 And I can look at its strengths and colour
说出你的感受 and tell you how you're feeling.
太厉害了 为什么学校不教我们这些 That's brilliant. Why don't they teach us about them at school?
因为学校是国家的一种镇压工具 Because school is a repressive tool of the state.
那我的光环是什么颜色的 So, what colour's my aura then?
亚当 我看不到你的光环 Adam, I can't see your aura.
但你说每个人都有 You said everybody's got one.
我也不知道 亲爱的 I don't know, hon.
这是门艺术 不是科学 It's an art, not a science.
还有什么是学校没有教我们的 So, what else don't they teach us at school?
他们用棍子打小海豹 They're clubbing baby seals.
他们在砍伐雨林 They're cutting down the rain forest
就为了让你们吃到便宜的汉堡 so you can get a cheap hamburger.
要小心转基因食物 Watch out for genetically modified food.
更不用提全球变暖了 Don't get me started on global warming.
就因为鲸鱼的大脑很大 And that's because whales have huge brains,
他们就毫无缘由地捕杀它们 and they're hunting them for no reason.
核电站 Nuclear power stations.
核电站太垃圾了 Nuclear power stations are rubbish.
是的 确实如此 Yes! Yes, they are.
我们有次学校组织活动去那里 We went to one on a school trip,
里面没有任何冒泡的东西 and there was nothing bubbling,
也没有任何绿烟雾 and there wasn't any green smoke,
也没有人穿着那种太空服 and there weren't anyone in those space suits.
太无聊了 是的 And it was so dull. Well, yes,
但我们还是要消灭它们 but we need to get rid of them.
谁叫它们不会冒泡 Serves them right for not bubbling.
亚当 我必须继续工作了 Adam, I have to get back to work.
但如果你对这类事物感兴趣 But if you're interested in any of this stuff,
我这里有些以前的杂志 I have some old magazines here.
你不想读也没关系 You don't have to read them if you don't want.
好极了[邪恶] Wicked.
亚特兰蒂斯被发现了吗 远古地下城新照曝光
西藏神秘大师 小说里的真相
这也许能帮助安娜丝玛 It might have helped Anathema
理解到底是怎么回事 to understand what was going on,
如果她明白她看不到 if she understood the very simple reason
亚当的光环的原因 why she couldn't see Adam's aura.
这跟人们在时代广场 It's for the same reason that
看不见美国 是一个道理 people in Times Square can't see America.
亚茨拉斐尔 So, Aziraphale...
我们收到了你的消息 got your message.
你有什么要事吗 Have you got something big?
跟我们说吧 Lay it on us.
对不起 什么 I'm sorry?
发生什么了 What's happening?
是这样的 OK, ahem, so...
那个 Well, ahem...
事关敌基督 It's It's about the Antichrist.
怎么了 Yes?
我认为 I think that, um...
这不是不可能 Well, it's not impossible,
考虑到... uh, considering all
所有可能性 另一边 all the alternatives that the the other side,
可能失去了他的下落 might have lost track of him.
「另一边」 The "Other side"?
失去了他的下落吗 Lost track of him?
他是美国大使的儿子 He's the son of the U.S. Ambassador.
一直受到监视 He's under constant surveillance.
另一边现在正将他送去 The other side are currently transporting him
米吉多平原 to the plains of Megiddo.
显然 那是传统的开始地点 Apparently, that's the traditional starting point.
只要中东动荡不安 其他的一切都会随之而来 Middle Eastern unrest. Everything else just follows.
天启四骑士出发 The Four Horsemen ride out.
天堂与地狱的最后一战就此开始 Last great battle between Heaven and Hell.
是的 Yes. Well, um...
那个狡猾的对手 恶魔克劳利... it's possible that the demon, Crowley, aaa wily adversary...
可以说是让我时刻警觉 Keeps me on my toes, I can tell you.
但大使的儿子... But the, um, ambassador's, uh, son, uh...
这可能是个诡计 诡计 Well, it may have been a ruse. A ruse?
真正的敌基督可能 And the actual Antichrist might be, um...
在别的地方 somewhere else.
在哪里 Where?
不确定 Not sure.
我可以找到他 I mean, III could find out.
我有一个特工团队 I have a team of... agents.
他们致力于调查各种可能性 A dedicated team who who would investigate the possibility.
假设真是那样的话... Hypothetically speaking, if that were the case
那也不会改变任何事情 亚茨拉斐尔 It wouldn't change anything, Aziraphale.
早在世界被创造之前 天堂就有了战争 There was war in Heaven long before the Earth was created.
克劳利和其他恶魔被驱逐出去了 Crowley and the rest were cast out,
但一切都没有得到真正的解决 but nothing was ever really settled.
的确如此 I suppose it wasn't.
但其实不必再来一场战争的 对吗 But there doesn't have to be another war, does there?
我们非常欣赏你的假设 亚茨拉斐尔 As much as we appreciate your hypotheticals, Aziraphale,
但我们还有别的事要忙 I'm afraid we have other things to do.
世界不会自行毁灭 The Earth isn't going to just end itself, you know.
对 是的 没错 No. Yes. Right.
你好 Hello.
我是居委会主席泰勒 R.P. Tyler.
邻里监督人员 Neighbourhood watch.
年轻人 我不禁注意到你拿着地图 I couldn't help but notice, young person, that you have a map.
是在踩点吗 Casing the joint, are we?
我租下了茉莉小屋 I'm I'm renting Jasmine Cottage.
天啊 你是一个美国游客 Oh, good Lord, you're an American tourist.
抱歉 我以为你是一个嫌疑犯[感兴趣] Sorry. Thought you were a person of interest.
我的确很感兴趣 Oh, I I am.
十一年前有个东西来到了这个村子 Listen, 11 years ago, something came to this village.
那是某种野兽或生物 Some sort of beast or creature.
如果你是邻里监督人员 And if you're neighbourhood watch,
你也许注意到了 maybe you noticed.
塔德菲尔德是一个非常体面的村庄 Tadfield is a perfectly respectable village.
如果你是来抽胖烟卷[大麻] If you're coming here to smoke your fatty spliffers
嗨到神志不清的 and bimble off to woowoo land,
那我建议你去别的地方 then I suggest that you go elsewhere.
比如回去美国 Like back to America.
「胖烟卷」 "Fatty spliffers"?
你们怎么看 What did you think of that, then?
他是个在人间待了太久的天使 That's an angel who's been down there too long.
我不信任他 I don't trust him.
他说的确实是「假设」啊 Hypotheticals, indeed.
牛津郡村庄又迎来白色圣诞节
苹果树在奇迹般的天气结出更多果实
你好呀 Hello.
我找猎巫人沙德维尔中士 Witchfinder Sergeant Shadwell, please.
或者他的手下 Or, um, one of his officers.
我去看看他是否有空 I shall endeavour to see if he is available.
稍等 Hold on.
在吗 沙德维尔先生 Cooee, Mr Shadwell.
你好 亲爱的 Oh, hello, dear.
你好 特蕾西夫人 Hello, Madame Tracy.
滚开 妓女 Away with you, harlot.
电话里有位绅士找你 There's a gentleman on the telephone for you.
他听起来非常优雅 Sounds ever so refined.
星期天我会做点好吃的猪肝 And I'll be getting a nice bit of liver for us for Sunday.
我宁愿和魔鬼共进晚餐 I'd sooner sup with the devil.
你要是能把上周的盘子还给我 So if you could just give me the plates back from last week.
我会很感激 There's a love.
你好 Aye?
沙德维尔中士 Sergeant Shadwell.
你知道我是谁 你是谁 It's youknowwho. Who?
是我 你的赞助者 Me. Your, um, sponsor.
你的手下有空吗 Listen, do you have any men free?
我需要他们去探听一下 I need them to poke about a bit.
探听 Poke?
你想让他们去哪里探听 Where exactly do you want them poking?
塔德菲尔德 Tadfield.
那是牛津郡的一个小镇 It's a small town in Oxfordshire.
我需要监视那里的一个男孩 There's a boy I need placed under observation.
知道他每时每刻在哪里 II need to know where he is at all times.
我会把他的地址给你 I can give you his address.
我会派出我最优秀的手下 I'll put a squad of my best men onto it.
很好 非常感谢你 Oh, good. Thank you so much.
我本该问问猎巫人奶瓶少校的 Oh, and I should have asked about Witchfinder Major Milkbottle.
听到他英年早逝的消息 我很遗憾 I was so sorry to hear of his untimely end.
我给他送了花 I sent flowers.
谢谢你的花 Aye, the flowers were appreciated.
也谢谢你送给他家人的二十英镑 And so was the extra £20 for the family.
他是位勇士 He was a brave man.
听到你说他是怎么死的时候 我惊呆了 Oh, I was flabbergasted when you told me how he died.
他是位勇士 Aye. A brave man.
下周我会去书店 I'll be by the bookstore, um, next week
取你的年费 to pick up your annual dues.
要派最好的手下去塔德菲尔德 亲爱的朋友 Squad of best men to Tadfield, dear fellow.
让他们待在那里 直到我给你进一步的指示 And keep them there until I give you more orders.
那个男孩叫亚当·扬 Now, the boy is called... Adam Young.
他的地址是塔德菲尔德 猪背巷四号 And his address is number four, Hogback Lane, Tadfield.
记下了吗 Have you got it?
记好了 阁下 Absolutely, Your Honour.
就在塔德菲尔德 对 拜拜 Tadfield it is. Right. Pippip.
你的手下就位后告诉我 And let me know when your men are in position.
拜拜 Pippip.
南方娘娘腔 Great southern pansy.
发现女巫了吗 猎巫人帕西法二等兵 Find any witches yet, Witchfinder Private Pulsifer?
我发现了更棒的事情 Even better than that.
有件很有趣的事情 I found something really interesting.
我发现了异常的天气模式 I've discovered some unusual weather patterns.
牛津郡里一个小镇的天气状况特别奇怪 There's a town in Oxfordshire with some very strange weather events.
是吗 下血雨了吗 Oh? Raining blood?
还是下鱼雨了 Or raining fish?
在女巫和农民发生争执之后 Satanic frost in summer withering the crops
夏天撒旦的霜冻使庄稼枯萎了吗 after some hag got into an argument with a farmer?
不 就是... No. It's just...
那里每年这个时候的天气总是特别好 it always has perfect weather for the time of year.
这也算是一个异象吗 You call that a phenomenon?
这个时候有正常天气是不正常的 Normal weather for the time of year isn't normal.
清爽的秋季 炎热漫长的八月 Crisp autumns, long, hot Augusts.
那就是你在小时候梦想的天气 The kind of weather you used to dream of as a kid.
在过去的十一年 那里每一个平安夜都下了雪 It's snowed there every Christmas Eve for the last 11 years.
我不感兴趣 Not interested.
你只需找女巫和她们造成的异象 Just look for witches and witchcaused phenomenonenoms.
他自称瑞文·塞布尔博士 He called himself "Dr Raven Sable",
但你知道他的别名 but you know him by another name.
他喜欢饥饿 He loves hunger.
他喜欢那些在高档餐厅吃得不够的人 He loves people not eating enough in fancy restaurants.
这是您的主菜 女士 Your main course, madam.
加了少许西兰花凝胶的鸡肉沫和蘑菇泡沫 Chicken froth on a reduction of broccoli gel with a mushroom foam.
主厨推荐您先食用这个 And the chef recommends that you have this first.
这是一个充满薰衣草香味空气的气球 A balloon filled with lavenderscented air.
这是第一道菜 It is the first course.
我刚想起来 It just occurred to me.
我从来没见过一个屋子装着这么多饥饿的富人 I've never seen a room full of rich people so hungry before.
他商人 经营着自己的连锁餐饮 He's a businessman with a chain of restaurants.
他即将开启一个新的项目 And he's about to launch something new.
「玉食」 无食物食品 Chow, foodfree food. 美国 爱荷华州
人造面包 人造汉堡 Artificial bun. Artificial burger.
跟土豆一点关系没有的炸薯条 Fries that have never seen a potato.
合成酱汁 Foodless sauces.
还有我们引以为傲的 And... we're rather proud of this:
完全人工合成的腌黄瓜 a completely artificial dill pickle.
这杯奶昔也不含任何天然食品成分 The shake doesn't contain any actual food content either.
不过本来就没人会在奶昔里放天然食品成分 Well, nobody's shakes contain any actual food content.
好了 我们尝尝吧 OK, let's try it out.
把「玉食」递出去时按这个按钮 Press this button when you hand over the Chow.
不要说「食物」 说「玉食」 And don't call it "Food". It's Chow.
「玉食」牌人造食品内含旋转 Chowbrand unfood contains spun,
编织而成的蛋白质分子 plaited and woven protein molecules
能被你体内的消化酶忽略 designed to be ignored by your digestive enzymes,
同时含有无卡甜味剂 替代油 纤维物质 nocal sweeteners, oil replacements, fibrous materials,
食用色素以及调味素 colourings and flavourings.
「玉食」是可食用物质 与食物是有区别的 Chow is an edible substance and must not be confused with food.
食用「玉食」会帮助你减肥 Eating Chow can help you to lose weight,
脱发 丧失肾功能 hair and kidney functions.
可能会引发肛门泄漏 请尽情享用 May cause anal leakage. Enjoy your meal.
名为赛博尔的收件人 Party, name of Sable?
我就猜到是你 I thought it was you.
我看了一圈 我寻思 I looked around, I thought,
肯定是个穿西服 留着胡子的高个绅士 "Tall gent with a beard, nice suit."
有个你的包裹 先生 你得签字 There's a package for you, sir. You have to sign for it.
量秤 The measuring scales.
可算到了 Finally.
我要飞去英国 I'm flying to England.
我会通知飞机的 您什么时候回来 I'll let the jet know. When are you returning?
谁知道 Who knows?
取消我的一切日程 Cancel all my appointments.
取消多久 For how long?
全部取消 The foreseeable future.
玉食
猎巫手册
沙德维尔中士 Sergeant Shadwell,
你记得我跟你说的那个 you know the village I was telling you about
天气非常好的村子吗 with the perfect weather?
根据手册上说的 Well, according to the manual,
女巫们可以影响天气 witches can influence the weather.
我明天要不要过去一趟 What if I was to sort of nip over there tomorrow,
稍微侦查一下 have a little look round?
我会自己付油钱的 I could pay for my own petrol.
这个村子 它是不是叫塔德菲尔德 This village, it wouldn't be called Tadfield, would it?
你怎么知道的 How did you know that?
那就对了 Aye.
我估计你去一下也没什么坏处 Well, I suppose it can't do any harm.
明天早上九点来这 之后出发 Be here at 9:00 in the morning, afore you leave.
来这干嘛 What for?
拿你的正义盔甲 Your armour of righteousness.
是我 It's me.
来第三备用汇合点见我 Meet me at the third alternative rendezvous.
是那个老演奏台 还是19号巴士 Is that the old bandstand, the number 19 bus,
还是英国博物馆的咖啡厅 or the British Museum café?
演奏台 我15分钟就到那 The bandstand. I'll be there in 15 minutes.
爸 你知道到处都有「灵线」吗 Dad, did you know that there are ley lines everywhere?
不对 亚当 「灵线」都是胡扯 No, Adam. Ley lines are rubbish.
你肯定喜欢看这个的 迪尔德丽 Oh, you'll like this bit, Deirdre.
他们把枪捆到椅子底下 They've taped the gun under the chair.
不是胡扯 It's not rubbish.
要是胡扯他们就不会把它写到杂志里面了 They wouldn't write about it in magazines if it was rubbish.
西藏有些人能通过秘密通道 There's people from Tibet watching everything we do
看到我们做的所有事 through hidden tunnels.
我想我还是早点上床睡觉了 I think I might go to bed early, actually.
你觉得他没毛病吧 Do you think he's alright?
他没问题 He's fine.
怎么样 Well?
有新消息吗 Any news?
什么 你想听什么样的消息 Whatwhat kind of news would that be?
你找没找到失踪敌基督的姓名 Well, have you found the missing Antichrist's name,
地址和鞋的尺寸 address and shoe size yet?
他鞋的尺寸 我为什么要知道他鞋的尺寸 His shoe size? Why Why would I have his shoe size?
我逗你呢 我也一无所获 It's a joke. I've got nothing either.
伟大计划就是这么安排的 克劳利 It's the Great Plan, Crowley.
对 声明一下 Yeah. For the record,
去他妈蛋蛋流脓的伟大计划 great pustulent mangled bollocks to the Great blasted Plan!
愿你获得宽恕 May you be forgiven.
我不会被宽恕 I won't be forgiven.
永远不会 Not ever.
这是恶魔工作要求的一部分 That's part of a demon's job description.
不可饶恕 我就是这样 Unforgiveable. That's what I am.
你曾经是个天使 You were an angel once.
那是很久以前的事了 That was a long time ago.
我们要找到那孩子 我的手下能找到他 We find the boy. My agents can do it.
然后呢 And then what?
我们除掉他吗 We eliminate him?
有人会去做 我个人并不想去杀孩子 Someone does. I'm not personally up for killing kids.
你才是恶魔 我可是善良的那个 You're the demon. I'm the nice one.
我才不必掉小孩 I don't have to kill children.
如果你把他杀了 这世界就能得到缓刑 If you kill him, then the world gets a reprieve
天堂也不会手沾鲜血 and Heaven does not have blood on its hands.
你手上没沾血 Oh, no blood on your hands?
你这样会不会有点伪善啊[比我神圣] That's a bit holierthanthou, isn't it?
我的确比你神圣多了 本来就该这样 I am a great deal holier than thou. That's the whole point.
你应该亲自动手杀了他 You should kill the boy yourself.
用神圣的手段 Holily.
我谁也不会杀 I am not killing anybody.
太荒唐了 你简直不可理喻 This is ridiculous. You are ridiculous.
我都不知道我为什么还和你说话 I don't even know why I'm still talking to you.
我也不知道 够了 我走了 Well, frankly, neither do I. Enough, I'm leaving.
你不能走 克劳利 You can't leave, Crowley.
没有可去的地方了 There isn't anywhere to go.
这世界很大 It's a big universe.
就算世界最后变成一团燃烧的浆糊 Even if this all ends up in a puddle of burning goo,
我们仍然可以一起离开 we can go off together.
一起离开 Go off together?
听听你自己说的疯话 Listen to yourself.
我们做朋友多久了 How long have we been friends?
六千年了 Six thousand years!
朋友 我们可不是朋友 Friends? We're not friends.
我们只是一个天使和一个恶魔 We are an angel and a demon.
我们一点共同点都没有 We have nothing whatsoever in common.
我都不喜欢你 你可喜欢我了 I don't even like you. You do.
就算我知道敌基督在哪 Even if I did know where the Antichrist was,
我也不会告诉你 我们身处敌对的阵营 I wouldn't tell you. We're on opposite sides.
我们只属于我们的阵营 We're on our side.
并没有什么「我们的阵营」 克劳利 There is no "Our side", Crowley.
再也没有了 Not anymore.
结束了 It's over.
好吧 Right.
那就 Well, then...
祝你末日愉快 Have a nice doomsday.
真厉害 Brilliant.
你可以的 You can do it.
越来越近了 It's getting closer.
越来越强了 It's getting stronger.
那有点... 不太可能 That's a bit Impossible.
你开玩笑吗 Is this a joke?
有240兆瓦特的电力 240 megawatts of power
现在正被这个发电站生产出来 埃里克 are currently being produced by this power station, Eric.
只是 我们的各项指示都表明 It's just, according to our indicators,
这些电力是被凭空生产出来的 nothing's producing them.
你说必须经过我批准是什么意思 What do you mean I have to authorise it?
那还有别人吗 Is there anyone else?
我明白我是部长 I know I'm the minister.
好吧 行 Well, then, yes.
我批准你打开那个破玩意 I authorise you to open the bloody thing up.
这可不是你天天都能见到的 There's something you don't see every day.
一个没有核反应堆的超大房间 An enormous room without a nuclear reactor in it.
但是里面什么都没有啊 But... there's nothing there.
并不是什么都没有 老大 Not nothing, chief.
看起来像颗柠檬硬糖 It looks like a sherbet lemon.
修复一切 终结一切 Mend it all. End it all.
终结一切 End it all.