Nick，一起去嘛 Just come, Nick. Why not?
Angie我和不是过浪漫周末的恋人类型 Angie and I are not romantic weekend types.
听上去你正需要在间小木屋呼吸一下新鲜空气嘛 Sounds like you need some fresh air in a cabin
你在跟一个脱衣舞娘约会 You're dating a stripper.
我在跟一个高富帅医生约会 I'm dating a tall,handsome doctor.
我们俩都从某种意义上实现了梦想中的事情嘛 We're both kind of living the dream.
与其说是“约会” We're not "dating."
不如说我跟Angie在一起更像是 What Angie and I have together
一种无拘无束的 is pure anarchy
性感冷酷的交往方式 in like, a sexy, cool way.
是吗？ -看这个我睡着之后她的“腋窝杰作” - Oh, yeah? - Look at what she did while I was sleeping.
够酷吧 Look at how cool that is.
腋窝涂鸦？ She doodled on your armpit?
这不是涂鸦，这是纹身 -狮子头？ It's not a doodle, it's a tat.Of poodle hair?
这不是狮子头，这是……呃…… It's not poodle hair.It's like the, uh...
反正我不去小木屋 Anyway, no to the cabin.
好吧 -你为啥想要我们去 All right.- And why do you want us to come
你们的二人世界当电灯泡？ on your romantic weekend anyhow?
不该是你们两个就够了嘛 I thought it was just supposed to be you and the doctor.
好吧，其实我有点紧张 Okay, I'm a little nervous.
我需要你的支持 I just need backup.
我希望这个周末过得有趣 I want this weekend to be fun
完美 and perfect
美好，他在周末结束离开前的时候看着我说然后说 and lovely, and I want him to look at me at the end and go,
“Jess，这是我人生中过得最棒的周末了” "Jess, that was the best weekend I ever had."
我很高兴你能十分合理的期望 I'm glad you're keeping your expectations at a reasonable level.
一起来嘛，很好玩的 Come on, it'll be fun.
烤棉花糖-嗯 - Roast marshmallows,- Yeah.
篝火晚会 -嗯 - Make a fire,- Oh, yeah.
在熊皮地毯上睡觉 And sleep on a bear rug.
你加入？-不 - You in?- Ooh, no.
Jess，抱歉，我们这个周末 Jess, I'm sorry.We're not going
不跟你一起去。-好吧。 - this weekend.- All right.
免费的哦 But it's free.
你说免费的？对 - You say free?- Yep.
好的，我们绝对去 Yeah, we're 100% in.
我现在就去收拾行李-好的 - I'll go pack now.- Okay.
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
♪ It's Jess. ♪
看着，记住这个，好吗 Oh, wait, wait, wait,keep this in mind, right?
整个过程中我都拿着一把锅铲 Now, I have a spatula in my hand the entire time,
直视她的双眼，说 and I'm looking her directly in the eye, and I say,
“你说的太XX对了，我正想吃蛋糕” "You're damn right I want some cake."
有点奇怪哈 Kind of weird.
嗨，怎么了？大伙们，这是Schmidt Hey, what's up?Guys, this is Schmidt.
你们好 Hey.
要走了吗？ Ready to go?
嗯好吧，我们走 Yeah, no, let's do it.
很高兴认识你们 It's nice meeting you all.
Winston，等一下 Winston，Hey, uh, Winston,
这些人是谁 who are those guys?
不认识，刚刚上厕所的时候认识的 I don't know, I just met them on the way to the bathroom.
但是你看上去魅力无穷光芒四射哇 But you were so light and charming.
你就像是皮克斯Winston You were like Pixar Winston.
我们只是在随便寒暄，伙计 Yeah, we were just chilling, man,
只是在聊天而已 just having a conversation.
如果你想的话我们可以呆在这 We can stay, if you want.
我不想呆在这 No, Schmidt,I don't want to stay.
我想吃东西了 I want to eat.
走吧，伙计 Come on, man.
Nick，白人，Cece，棕色人种 White Nick, brown Cece.
我觉得我们应该对种族有个坦诚的讨论 I'd like to have a frank discussion about race.
我觉得我们应该激发Winston Do you think that we're
“黑色”光芒，你们觉得这个主意怎么样？ allowing Winston to be his blackest self?
我不会这么做的 好了，去找Jess讨论这个吧 - I'm not gonna do this. - Okay,make sure Jess gets these, okay?
伙计们，别这样，我是认真的 Guys, please, I'm being serious.
好吧，Schmidty Okay, Schmidty,
知道你是严肃的在说这事 I know that you're being serious,
但是Winston一辈子都是黑人 but look, Winston has been black his entire life.
我相信他肯定知道怎么跟黑人交往 I think he knows how to handle it.
我们有天晚上一起出去喝酒 We were out the other night for drinks,
他遇到了几个黑人 and well, he encountered some members of his own,
你们真应该看一下他当时有多吸引人 and you should have seen the way that he lit up.
他就像个发光体 I mean, he was like a glow stick.
太好了。 无论你想做什么，都请你不要做 -This is terrible. - Whatever you were gonna do, please do not.
别做。 我想在这个公寓里营造 - Just don't do it.- I want to create
一个让Winston觉得自由开放的气氛 an environment within this loft where Winston feels free,
让我们把Winston的黑色 where the gates are open.Let's let Winston
开关打开 turn on his-his black switch
让他的黑色沐浴在阳光下 and let his black light shine.
太完美了 This is perfect.
是的，在森林过周末 Yes, it is a weekend in the woods.
我很高兴我们一起出来 I'm just glad that we get to spend some time together.
我也是 Yeah.
嗨 Hey.
耶！ Yeah!
蘑菇头来了啊 Oh, look, it's Jackie O.
我吗，对。 谢谢夸奖。 - Me? All right, thanks.- Yeah, you.
不好意思我们迟到了，我们不得不停下来买这个傻逼戴的头盔 Sorry we're late. I had to stop and buy this bitch-ass a helmet.
因为他无时无刻不傻逼 Because he wouldn't stop being a bitch-ass.
我们在一个休息站买到的 The helmet we got at a rest stop,
这是哥喜欢的色调 the shades are mine.
好吧 Yeah.
免费的独家小木屋！哇噢! Free cabin! Whoo!
其实这是我老板的 It's actually my boss's cabin.
太好了！耶！我爱祖国！ - That's great! Whoo!- Yeah! USA, USA!
晚饭吃印度菜？你确定？ Indian food, dinner? You down?
我想我们今晚去一个 I thought maybe we'd eat at a place
你想去的地方吃饭，Winston where you wanted to eat at tonight, Winston.
作为一个强大的黑人 As a strong black man.
咩？ What?
你在说神马？ -伙计，听我说 - What are you talking about?- Hey, man, I get it.
我只是厌倦了每天晚上都吃 There are just some nights where I'm dying
Zaddie的鸡蛋沙拉 for my zadie's egg salad,
超大块的熏肉 pastrami piled a mile high,
硬梆梆的犹太节薄饼，三角馄饨…… some matzo, kreplach...
我们去吃些精神食粮吧 Let's eat some soul food.
Schmidt，我想吃印度菜，南印度菜 Schmidt, I want Indian,southern Indian.
对了，我还有礼物要送你 Also, I got you something.
拉斯塔法里教扎哈 -从我头上拿下来这破玩意儿 - Jah rastafari. - Take this damn thing off my head.
抱歉，你是对的 Okay, I'm sorry.You're right.
别提这破帽子了，我的错 Forget the hat.Just, I made a mistake.
我只是想…… I just...
Winson，今晚是属于你的 Winston, tonight is about you.
我想成为你前所未有的黑人好朋友 I want to be the black friend that you never had.
我有黑人朋友，Schmidt I have black friends, Schmidt.
我希望你知道我在支持你 I want you to feel supported.
我希望你去做一些 I want you to be able to do
你觉得我不能明白的事 the things that you don't feel like I understand.
好吧，你的意思是无论我说什么 Okay. So that means you're gonna do
你都会做是吧？是的，即使是强盗才会做的事 - whatever I say?- I mean, as long as it's gangster.
不过最好不要，不是说我们一定要做强盗的事。好了，Schmidt - Or not. It doesn't have to be gangster.- Well, Schmidt,
我说谢谢你，谢谢你让我做我自己 I want to say thank you for allowing me to be me
我很期待今晚跟你分享 and I look forward to sharing
我们黑人的文化 my people's culture with you tonight.
我从来没玩过“性感骰子” I've never played sexy Boggle before.
等下我会让你尽兴的玩的 I'm gonna get into that later.
哇噢！ Ow-ooh!
温柔点嘛 Oops. Okay.
嗨，伙计们 Hey, guys.
我们刚才只是在收拾行李 Sorry, we were just unpacking.
别解释了，我们听得很清楚，十分清楚 We could hear very clearly.Very clearly.
伙计，你的高音很华丽啊 Hey, you got a high-pitched scream, man.
是的，谢谢 Yeah, I do.
我们在玩35点， So, you guys, we are playing best of 35,
我想你们也想跟我们一起 um, 'cause I thought you guys
消磨时间 were gonna hang out with us.
哇。-噢，Angie Oh. - Oh, Angie,
这是我老板的木屋 this is my boss's cabin.
哇噢！就是它了！ Oh! This is it!
我们滚床单的时候这些藏在哪了？ Where were these when we were having sex?
我也这样觉得，那是啥？ That's how I feel. What?
我们出去玩射击吧。好 - Let's go shoot things.- Yeah.
谁怕谁啊 - Okay.- Not scared.
小心点。好了 - Just be careful, please.- Good, yep.
好了， All right, well...
好了，Sam，你开心吗？ - That's all right.- Sam, are you having fun?
因为我真的很希望你玩的开心 'Cause I really, really want you to have fun.
当然，跟你在一起很开心。好 - Course I am. I'm here with you.- Good.
你知道吗？好，好的 - You know?- Okay, good.
喝着热的可可 Drink hot cocoa.
没有回击我 It's not much fun
一点也不好玩 without someone firing back.
你太棒了！ You're amazing!
哇(⊙０⊙) Wow!
这是不安全的 That is not safe.
太鲁莽了 That is really reckless.
你也想玩，对吧？ You want to shoot guns,don't you?
去吧 Go on.
伙计们，留点子弹给我！ Guys, guys!Save a bullet!
走近点肯定能打中 Could be a little bit closer.
开什么玩笑 Got to be kidding me.
你是怎么做到一直打不中的？ How do you keep missing?
我了个去！ Come on!
嗨，伙计们- 嗨 - Hey, guys.- Hey.
没有枪是安全的，对吧？ - Hey.- No gun safety for us, right?
你想来一发？别别别， - Want to shoot?- No, no, no, do not
别给她枪，她绝对不知道怎么玩枪，相信我 give her a gun. She cannot handle having a gun, trust me.
好吧，姐今天让你开开眼界，把那个爆杆拿给我 All right, you know what,yeah, give me the boom stick.
啥？这不叫爆杆，这是来复枪 The what? It's not called a boom stick.It's a rifle. So...
￥%#￥……？把来福枪给我 What? Give me the rifle.
好的 Oh, right.
哇噢，你们知道吗？ Whoa, yeah, you know what?
我瞬间充满了力量 I feel powerful.
哇哦！！别这样！！ Whoa! Come on now!
拿开！快拿开！ Come on! Hey!
好了，这样 Okay, all right.
没有人能比我……嗨！Jess！ - Nobody better...- Hey! Jess!
嗨，Jess，别这样 - Hey!- Jess, thanks.
你疯了？！ Are you nuts?
这样，好了，看到那个罐子了吗？-嗯 Here, all right, see that can?-Yep.
好的。-但是我想我需要一个背景故事 - All right.- But I need like, a back story.
为什么我要对一个罐子发脾气？ Like, why am I mad at the can?
把那个罐子想象成你的前男友 That can is your ex-boyfriend, and, uh,
他不尊重你的隐私 he did not respect your space
他觉得你的房间的艺术和手工艺品 and, um, thought that your arts and crafts
很可笑。-这样也行？ - section of your house was ridiculous.-What??
然后，像这样。好了吗？够了吗？ -嗯，够了 - And, right, done? Enough?- Yeah. No. Yeah.
好的，现在稳住你的臀部 - Yeah. - Let me just square your hips right there.
好的 All right,
集中……好了，准备完成 center your... there you go.
再把遮住眼睛的头发捋开 Now let me just move your hair.
很可爱，真的 -谢谢 - It's so pretty, really curly.- Thanks.
幻想和噩梦正在碰撞 Fantasy and nightmare colliding.
深呼吸 Take a deep breath.
这下好了 Congrats.
我们没电了 We have no power.
哇哦 Uh...
我只是…… I'm just gonna...
哇噢！Jess，够了！放下枪！ Whoa! Jess, that's it.Let go of the rifle.
你已经做的很好了，真的 I mean it; You're done.You're done.
Jess，我今天玩的很开心 Jess, I'm having a great time.
嗯，是的。我现在对你很无语 Oh, yeah, I'm so mad at you right now.
帅哥们，我觉得现在变成了一场冒险也没什么不好 Guys, I think that this just turned into an adventure.
看我在主人的壁橱里发现了什么 Look what I found in the owner's closet.
太好了！ Yes!
太感谢你了 Thank you so much.
这是你的 -这才是好东西 - You rule.- This is good stuff.
看吧，美好的夜晚 ，还有毛衣穿呢 See, making the best of the night. Sweaters.
被虫蛀过的毛衣 A little mothy.
看我在壁橱里还发现了什么？-神马？ - Look what else I found in the owner's closet.- What?
薄荷酒，伙计们 Crème de menthe, guys.
进来吧，小妞 Oh, get in here, girl.
让我来温暖你 Oh, body warmth.
喝一口吧 Take a pull.
好吧，放过她了 - Ooh, yeah.- pass her over.
这才是……耶~ - Ooh, that's...- Yeah.
这不是薄荷酒 That is not crème de menthe.
这是绿色的精灵 That is, uh, the green fairy right there.
这是苦艾酒 It's absinthe.
是的，这就是苦艾酒 Yeah, it's absinthe.
苦艾酒？ Absinthe?
苦艾酒…真棒 - Absinthe...- Nice.
很多著名的画家 Has killed so many
都死在了苦艾酒上 of our most famous painters.
上一次我喝苦艾酒之后 Last time I tried absinthe,
我试图将我的汽车揣进我的口袋 I tried to put my car in my pocket.
来嘛 Come on.
一起来疯狂吧 Let's get crazy.
一起来嘛，杰茜宝贝 Come on, babe.
好吧 Yeah.
好吧，来就来 Okay, yeah, yeah.
耶 - Yeah.- Yeah.
完美的周末 Perfect weekend!
不，不，不 - No, no!- No!
你喝太多了 Whoa, too much.
噢，伙计们 Oh, guys.
我失去了知觉了 I don't feel anything.
这是世界上我吃过的 Well, those were just the best
最好吃的排骨了 ribs that I've ever had.
你没有撒谎 Ooh, you ain't lying, child.
谢谢你的晚餐， Schmidt Thanks for dinner, Schmidt.
真的，十分感谢 You know,I really appreciate it, man.
我真的感觉到了支持 - 接下来是什么？ - I do feel supported.- So what's next?
还有一件事我没有做过 There is this one thing that I miss.
或许我不该说的 I probably shouldn't say, man.
不能说 -别这样 - I can't.- No, come on.
咱们之间还有什么不能说的 It's us, man.
Schmidt，我真的很想吸毒 Schmidt, I could really go for some crack.
啥？ What?
可卡因？ Crack cocaine?
我记得我还很小的时候 I remember when I was a kid,
我，我妈 me, my mom,
我妈的妈，我妈的妈的妈， and her mom, and well, her mom,
是的，我妈的妈的妈 and then her mom,and then of course her mom,
我表哥，Peanut and then my little cousin,Peanut,
所有人都会围坐在一个燃烧的垃圾桶边 they'd all rush back to that flaming trash can
匆忙的吸毒， where we'd sit around and harmonize
多么和谐的画面 and just... ♪ shoo-op. ♪
我记得有天晚上 One of those nights I remember,
我们毒品吸完了 well, we ran out of crack.
我戴上围巾，跑到 I'd grab my scarf,and I would run on down
聚满了恶棍和打手的小酒馆 to the liquor store where the thugs hang out,
试图从他们哪里买到便宜点的毒品 and I would try to get a good deal on some crack.
他们从来就没给过我好价钱 Whoo! They never would give me a good price, man,
但是听我说 but, uh,I tell you what,
没有什么能比得上…这种像火般燃烧的感觉 there's nothing like the...the feel of a fire,
像一个新鲜出炉的小蛋糕 a fresh-baked cookie,
可卡因甜甜的味道在肺中萦绕 and that sweet, sweet taste of crack in your lungs.
好 Okay.
好的，Winston，我知道了 Okay, Winston, yeah.
我是说，如果 Sure, I mean, if...
如果毒品就是你想要的东西…… If that is something that you want to do...
我知道，我就知道你会对我评头论足 See, I knew you were gonna judge me.
我就知道 I knew it.
不是的，Winston No, Winston.
我就知道你会用有色眼镜看我…… I knew you were gonna judge me and just...
Winston，听我说 Winston, listen to me.
这样…… Look...
如果你想要卡卡因 if crack cocaine is what you want
那我们就去找些可卡因 then crack cocaine is what we are going to get.
我们应该怎么做 How do we do this?
我们这么做，Schmidt。我们先到固定的地方 Here's what we do, Schmidt.We go to the projects, okay?
然后敲门 We knock on some doors.
你跑腿， I'll wait in the car and take lookout
我望风 while you do all the legwork.
因为你说过，你比我更灵活 Because as you say, you are in much better shape than I am.
但你的确长得像洗黑钱的 You do have the body of a Smurf.
算了……我们可以喝点冰冻酸奶 We could... We could just get frozen yogurt.
没什么大不了 It's not a big deal.
冰冻酸奶不是哥的菜， Schmidt isn't about no frozen yogurt.
I want to go score some crack cocaine. 我想来点儿可卡因
Really? 真的吗？
We're gonna do this. 咱们就这么做吧！
Look at them. This is a cabin, guys. 看看，伙计们，这是一间小房子
Getting wasted on a couple of shots of absinthe. 都耗在这又喝苦艾酒又耍枪的一对儿上了
Word games, word games, 拼字游戏，拼字游戏
word games, word games, word games. 拼字游戏，拼字游戏
Doctor! I was saying... 医生，我是说....
(Jess squeaking)
I don't think I feel it. 我觉得我感觉不到
I can't believe I'm the sober one. 真不敢相信 我是那个最冷静的人
That's actually never happened in my life. 我这辈子还从来没发生过这样的事
(Goofy accent): Who wants to play Charades? 谁想来玩猜字游戏？
(Muttering) JESSE: Me. JESSE：姐玩
One syllable, one syllable. 一个音节 一个音节
(Raspy laughter) Movie. 电影
Gattaca. 千钧一发（电影名）
Oh, I want to be them. 噢，我想像他们一样
I have to run upstairs for a sec. 我得上楼去待一会儿了
I have it on good authority my bed has disappeared. 我很确定我的床没了
I need to go check it out. 我得去看看
I got to head up there and take care of that. 我得上去看着点她
Oh, you-you're gonna go upstairs? 噢，你要上楼去吗？
- Yeah, yeah. - Now? -是，没错 -现在？
Yeah. 是啊
Oh, ho-ho-ho, yeah. 喔，喔，喔，好吧
Okay. 那我去了
Have fun. 好好玩
I will, I guess. 我想我会的
(Sighs)
(Chuckles)
Up. 上
Doesn't sound good. 听上去听人担忧啊
(Coughing) Oh, Jess. 哦，杰西
- That sounded terrible. - The absinthe -听上去很糟糕啊 -那些苦艾酒
has found a new host. 找到新主人了
The toilet. 马桶
(Groans): Oh... 噢
I like Angie. 我喜欢安吉
She's cool. It's kind of like 她很酷 有点像
riding a poorly maintained carnival ride. 骑在辆年久失修的自行车上
I'm glad you get it. 你能明白我很欣慰
I think she really likes you. 我觉得她真心喜欢你
All right. 好吧
Jeth... I'm not... I'm-I'm with Jeth. 杰湿（杰西），我不是... 我是和杰湿
What? ANGIE: Hey, Nick, 我擦？ANGIE：嘿，尼克
look, we switched. 看，我们换人了
SAM (Muttering): And look... middle of the night... SAM（自言自语）：看，午夜了
What is the big deal? 这有什么关系吗？
I... why else did we all go to a cabin together? 我...要么我们为什么要一起 来这儿？
To hike? (Scoffs) 野餐么？
Guys, I'm still really feeling it. 伙计们，我现在还能感觉到
I just can't believe you'd do that to Nick. 我不敢相信你竟然 这么对尼克
She didn't do anything to me. 她没对我做什么
We have an open relationship. 我们是“开放式关系”
She can do whatever 她想做什么
she wants. I don't care. 就做什么 我不在乎
Enough. I'm tired of you 够了，我受够你
acting like this cool guy 好像自己和别人有个
with an "open relationship." “开放性关系”很屌一样
That is not you. 你不是这样的
Yes, it is, Jess. 我就是很屌，杰西
Why won't you just let me be me? This is me! 为什么你不让我做自己 这就是我！
I'm sorry. I just don't believe you. 抱歉 我只是不相信你
You're not this guy. 你不是这样的人
No, no, no, I'm not feeling good... 不，不，不，我感觉不妙
At least we don't pretend to be this perfect couple. 至少我不假装去做 很完美的一对儿
I do not pretend to be a perfect couple. 我没想假装做完美的一对儿
The only reason that we're here 我们在这的唯一原因
is 'cause you asked us to come, 还不是你不想
'cause you didn't want 和SAM医生单独在一起
to be alone with Dr. Sam. 所以才叫我们来
'Cause then you'd have to be real with him. 因为你得是和他来真的
Jess? Is that true? 杰西，是真的么
Yes, but no... it's out of context. 是，又不是 这只是片面的说法
It's out of context, Nick. 你说的很片面，尼克
You think you know everything about me. 你觉得你很懂我？
- I'm a rock and roll guy. - You are the guy -我是个爱好摇滚的人 -你是那种让我
who asks me to light matches for you 帮你划根火柴
'cause you're afraid your fingers are gonna get too hot. 因为你怕烧着你的手
- I did that one time. - Multiple times. -我就这么干过一次 -无数次好么
I was on the back of a motorcycle earlier, 之前我在摩托车后面
and I wasn't even that scared. 我都没那么害怕
- You don't think I'm crazy? - No. -你不觉得我疯了么 -没
Would a sane man do this? 正常人会这么做吗？
(Gasps) Oh! 噢
Oh! (Clapping) 哇哦
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. 哇哦，哇哦 哇哦，等会儿
You're doing it. You're doing a lot of it. 你真棒 有点多了诶
You need to just pace it a little bit... 你得慢点来
Oh, whoa, that... 喔，喔噢
you're really doing it. 你真棒
(Retches) Whoa! 喔噢
(Sighs)
Well? 来吧？
I suppose we could just get out and ask any of these street youths. 我觉我们可以下车然后 随便问问这街上的年轻人
WINSTON: I'll let you get out the car first. 你先下车
Go ahead, do your thing, man. 去吧，去做你想做的吧
I don't want to ask the wrong person 我不想问错人了
and end up with some sub-par crack. 然后拿回来廉价货
I want the fresh crack, you know? 我想来点新鲜的
Not some crack that's been laying around all day. 不是那种放了很长时间的那种
Ooh... I'm really starting to schvitz. 哦...，我开始出汗了
We don't have to do this. Man, we could just 我们没必要这么做 老兄，我们只要
turn this car around, forget this ever happened, 把车调个头 忘记这些就行了
and get you some frozen yogurt. 然后来点冻酸奶
I will not let you deny who you are any longer. 我不会再让你 老否定自己了
Not on my watch. 只要我在就不会
- Schmidt... - Hey, psst! -施密特 -嘿，喂！
- Schmidt, no. - Yes. Skee-you! -别这样，施密特 -对，就是你
- Skee-you! - Schmidt! -就是你 -施密特
You, dude. 老兄
Don't call that man to this car. 别把他叫过来
Hi, how are you this evening? hi，今晚过得怎么样啊？
What do you guys need? 你们有什么需要的么？
It's cool, just get in the car, man. 真酷， 进来吧，老兄
- What cool? - Yeah, we're cool. -酷个屌？ -没错，我们很屌
Schmidt, you did not invite this guy in this car. 施密特，你不能让他进来
He could be crazy, could have a gun. 他可能很疯狂 再带把枪
- That's a racist thing to say, Winston, that he... - Stop it, Schmidt... -你这么说有种族歧视的味道，温斯顿... -别说了，施密特
Just assuming that this man has a pistol. 你就在那瞎想他带枪吧
Hi, sir. hi，先生
How are you this evening? 今晚过得怎么样？
Um, the two of us are very interested 额，我们俩想买点
in purchasing some crack cocaine. 可卡因
You guys cops? 你们俩是条子（警察）么？
- What? - Okay, let me out. -什么？ -好吧，让我出去
Schmidt, Schmidt... I was just messing with you, man. 施密特，施密特 我只是在逗你，老兄
Okay? I was just trying to see 好么？我只是想看看
how far your stupid white guilt would take you. 你那白人的愧疚心理 能让你傻多久
Have you ever done crack? 你嗑过药么？
Hell, no, I've never done crack, man. 当然没有，我从来 没嗑过药，老兄
Why do you think I've done crack? Because I'm black? 为什么你觉得我嗑过药 就因为我是黑人？
I thought you'd done crack 'cause you told me 因为你是这么告诉我 你嗑药的故事
- the whole story about you doing crack. - I though you guys -所以我才觉得你嗑过 -我觉的你俩嗑药的时候
just needed directions, okay? 没看说明书是吧？
- Let me out! - Okay, sir, -让我出去 -好的，先生
- just calm down, all right? - Oh, please, man. -冷静点，好么？ -哦，拜托给点力啊
- Be cool.- Fine, okay, look, you want it? You want it? Look! -冷静点-好吧，你想要么 -你想要这个么，看！
- Whoa! No! - Oh my God, no! -喔噢，不 -我的神仙姐姐啊，不！
- Look, my wallet. - No! No! -给，我的钱包 -不！不！
Take my wallet! Here's my wallet, okay? 把我钱包拿走吧 这是我的钱包，好吧?
Shoot the white dude! Just let me out... 杀那个白人！ 让我出去吧...
Shoot him! No, don't shoot me! 杀他！不，别向我开枪！
Shoot him, man! But that's... 朝他开枪！老兄！ 但是...
- That's your wallet. - That's your wallet. -这是你的钱包？ -不，是你的钱包。
- Are you not robbing us? - You're not robbing me? -你难道不是要打劫我们? -你们不是要打劫我么？
- I don't want to rob you, man. - I thought you were gonna... -我可没想打劫你 -我还以为你要...
I totally misread the situation. 我完全误解了
- I thought you was robbing me. - Oh, no, man. -我以为你要打劫我 -噢，不，老兄
- Oh, hey, man, I'm Schmidt. - Robert, man. -哦，嘿，哥们儿，我是施密特 -罗伯特
- Robert. Nice to meet you. - Pleasure, man. -很高兴见到你，罗伯特 -很荣幸，老兄
Robert, man, hey, man, nice to meet you, man. 罗伯特，老兄 很高兴见到你
- What a nice smile he has. All right, guys. - I'm just... -你看，他笑得跟朵花儿似的 -我只是...
Okay. Here, I'll... they're the child locks. 好的，我... 这些儿童锁
- I don't even have kids, but... - You guys have a great night, okay? -我连孩子都没有，但是... -祝你们晚上过得愉快
- You, too, man. Be safe. - Take care, Robert. -你也是，老兄，小心开车 -保重，罗伯特
- Take it easy, man. - You guys have a good night, man, all right. 放松点，祝你们夜生活愉快
That was insane. 这真疯狂
- I was terrified. That... - Oh, my goodness. -我吓尿了，这真是... -哦，我的神仙姐姐
I judged... (Screaming) 我觉得....
- God, Robert! - Robert... 我的天！罗伯特 -罗伯特
I just... the wallet? 我只是... 钱包？
- Oh, your wallet... - Oh, your wallet. -哦，你的钱包 -哦，你的钱包
- Just give him the wallet. - I'm really sorry. -把钱包给他 -我真抱歉
- Yeah, it's kind of... - No, yeah, I get it. -是，有点... -不，我明白
I'd want my wallet back, too. 要是我也会要回来的
- Thank you. - All right. Thanks, Robert. -谢谢 -好吧，谢谢，罗伯特
- I wouldn't thank him. - Whoa, man. -我就不会感谢他
What a hilarious misunderstanding. 这个误会还真是欢乐
- Schmidt, drive the damn car. - No, you're right. -施密特，速速的给我开车！ -好吧
(Owl hooting)
You know, I feel so much better 吐到火里以后
after throwing up into the fire. 我感觉好多了
Uh, Sam, can you pass the bread? 呃，SAM，你能递一下面包么？
- Oh, sure thing. - No, I'll pass the bread, Angie. -哦，当然 -不，我来递给你，安吉
噢，当然 - Oh, sure thing. 不，安琪，我来递给你面包 - No, I'll pass the bread, Angie.
你就把手放好，我来递给你 Just keep your hands to yourself and let the bread come to you.
为啥你一劲滴拿走我面包啊 - Why do you keep taking my bread? 哦，抱歉 - Oh, I'm sorry.
我以为你和面包正处于开放式关系呢 I thought you and the bread had an open relationship.
我说了我很抱歉，我以为大家都同意呐 I said I was sorry. I thought this was an agreement.
我以为大家都对这样没关系，我不…… I thought we were all cool with this. I don't...
都是苦艾酒惹的祸！ Absinthe!
愉快晚餐 愉快晚餐 Fun dinner.Fun dinner.
我在小木屋总是很高兴 I always have fun at the cabin.
你们想要把我大脑挖出来吗 You guys want to pick my brain?
大家想知道我现在在想什么吗 You guys want to know what I'm thinking about?
比起猫我更喜欢狗！！！ I like dogs more than cats.
我喜欢花栗鼠不喜欢松鼠 I like chipmunks more than squirrels.
我信有UFO I believe in UFOs.
我有过一个贝斯老师 I once had a bass teacher,
当我小的时候，那个站着吹贝斯的 when I was younger, who did the standing bass.
他身上味道很怪，我一直寻思这事 And he had a very weird smell, and I still think about it.
他叫希尔顿先生 His name was Mr. Hilton.
我不喜欢你试图亲山姆的事实 I don't like the fact that you tried to kiss Sam.
(Sighs)
因为我对你很有感觉，安琪 Because I have feelings for you, Angie.
我不知道，对不起 I'm... I had no idea, I'm sorry.
我知道，我们说了是开放式的，但是 I know.We said it was open, but...
你终于说了，我以你为豪 I'm proud of you for saying that.
山姆医生？ Dr. Sam?
如果你是个帽子，你肯定是最好的那顶 If you were a hat, you'd be a top hat.
但就像中石油那样是最大最垄断的那个 But like a really big Monopoly one.
我说的是最好的赞美 And I say that of the deepest compliments.
多谢 Appreciate it.
温斯顿，对不起，我就是想帮忙 Winston, I'm sorry. I was just trying to help.
帮什么，帮我认识到我是个黑人？ What, help me realize that I'm black?
斯密特，不管你信不信，兄弟 Schmidt, believe it or not, man,
我已经知道我是黑人有一段时间了 I've known that for a while now.
我就是感到难过 因为你被迫 和杰西 尼克生活在这里 住在一起 I just feel bad you're forced to live here with Jess and Nick.
哦~~ - Oh, wow. 我意思 他们是白人 - I mean, they're honky as hell.
看看我们这些人，看看我们为这个国家所贡献的 And look at our people. Look what we've given to this country.
爵士 Jazz...
爵士大师的管理 The management of jazz musicians.
但是，你看，斯密特，作为一个黑人 But, look, Schmidt, being black means
意味着 不管怎样 我想 做个黑人 whatever I want it to mean.
你知道 什么是真相吗 You know, the fact of the matter is
我和3个人住在一个公寓里 I live in a loft with three people
正好是白人 who happen to be white.
但是你相信我 But believe you me,
其实 许多时候 你才是 there is so much more
我最讨厌的那个 that I find annoying about you
我也没变得 种族 歧视 你 that I haven't even gotten to race.
现在，我要去吃冰冻 酸奶了 Now, I'm gonna get some frozen yogurt.
你来点不？ Would you like anything?
嗯 Yeah.
我要 香草巧克力漩涡那个（这时候还非要提巧克力色的……╮(╯▽╰)╭） I'll have a vanilla chocolate swirl.
不滴 - No. 神马，不…… - What, no...
我还要吃草莓配软糖 No. I'll have strawberry with jimmies.
你有没？？ Did you get that?
嘿 Hey.
你怎么样 How you doing?
(Exhales)
好多了 Much better.
我喝了太多酒 That alcohol got on top of me.
我有点尴尬 Oh... I'm a little embarrassed by that.
我觉得有点对不起山姆 I'm sorry about Sam.
我以为没什么 I... I thought it was cool.
好吧 - Right. 我总是试着 只要事情一变好 - And I try to ruin things as soon as
我就破坏 they get good.
我正在努力 I'm working on it.
不管你信不信 我也是 Believe it or not,I'm working on stuff, too.
你知道吗，我就希望我干穿很少的工作 You know, I just wish I was working on less stuff.
已经被抓过 3次 You know, I've been arrested three times.
4次 Four times.
4 5次吧 Four to five times.
我有个乐队纹身 I have tattoos
我甚至都不怎么喜欢 of bands that I don't even like anymore.
顺便说一句，对我屁股上那个吉米罗奎尔的纹身 By the way,you've been really cool
你表现的非常酷 about the "Jamiroquai" tattoo on my butt.
我没要求你改变 I'm not asking you to change.
就是 怎么在中间满足我 一点点 Just how about meet me in the middle a little bit?
那你想我怎么样？和你去吃早午餐？ What do you want me to do? Go to brunch?
那我们应该做什么，比如，读点文章 Are we supposed to, like, read articles
然后一起讨论讨论 and then talk about them together?
好吧，我从来不是 Okay, I'm never
那样的女孩 going to be that kind of girl.
我就是想做点正常的事 I just want to do something normal.
能不能 How about not
当我睡觉的时候 drawing pubes on my armpit
别在我腋窝上画阴毛了 while I'm sleeping?
你觉得 (Giggles) You think you could
这样 你能行不 do something like that?
行 Yeah. Yeah.
因为 我真地 很希望 'Cause I would really like
能一直这样 to keep this going.
想把你的床挪过来不 Want to move your twin bed over here?
性感 性感 性感 Sexy, sexy, sexy.
(Laughs)
鸟 鸟 鸟 Bird! Bird! Bird!
鸟 - Bird! 哦 - Oh.
救命 救命 - Help! Help! 哦 天呐 - Oh, my God.
好了 好了 好了 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
没事了，我拿下来了 No big, I got it! I'm on it.
就是一幅画 Just a... it was a painting.
这不是我想要的周末 That's not really how I wanted the weekend to go.
我能想到发生的最坏的事情 I thought the worst thing that could happen
是有人不喜欢我带的奶酪 was someone wouldn't like the cheese I brought.
我就是希望能完美 I wanted it to be perfect.
杰西，当尼克说你之所以邀请他们 Jess, when Nick said that you invited them
是因为你有些紧张 because you were nervous...
不，别担心那些了 - No, don't worry about that. 杰西 - Jess,
我们并不完美 we're not perfect.
像 我们第一次睡在一起的时候 Like the first time we slept together,
像 我甚至不知道你的真名 like, I didn't even know your real name.
许多相当厚脸皮的细节 Kind of a pretty sassy detail.
我们能集中在那个事实 Can we just concentrate on the fact that, like,
我是喝苦艾酒喝多了 I was tripping pretty hard on absinthe
还有 我说了 不？ and I said, "No"?
对着一个脱衣舞娘？ To a stripper?
我是说，一个喜欢抹着我大腿的脱衣舞娘 I mean, a stripper was like rubbing my leg...
那真是 我听过的 所有浪漫的事情里面 That's weirdly...
最怪的了 the most romantic thing I've ever heard.
拿到了 - Got it. 我留了个便签条 - I left a Post-it note
在那个变压器上，写着 坏了 on the transformer that said "Broken."
有没有方法 能弄成 Is there any way that we could make it look
是被浣熊咬坏的？ - like it was raccoon bites? 特此声明 - A few announcements.
呃…… Uh...
安琪 离开 我了 Angie left. Me.
什么？ - What? 她骑走了摩托车 - She took the motorcycle,
还有 带走了我的一些东西 and, uh, a few of my belongings,
但我还穿着我的内衣 but I'm still wearing my underwear,
所以 她在寻宝中显的很笨拙 so she comes up short-handed in that treasure hunt.
真滴？？ - Seriously? 哦，我很遗憾，尼克 - Oh, I'm so sorry, Nick.
真遗憾，兄弟 I'm sorry, man.
没事，我是成年人了 It's fine; I'm a grown man.
我需要 搭你们车回家 I will need a ride home.
行 - Yeah. 明摆着的 - Obviously.
我很想 用加油来 赞助一下 I would love to pitch in with gas,
但我没什么钱 所以我想说 用 尼克美元支付 but I don't have any money, so I could pay in "Nick Bucks,"
全部可以用微笑 fully redeemable
兑换 for smiles
或者其他我有的东西 and any one item from my bureau.
我们会记住的 We'll hold you to that.
多谢，医生 Thank you, Doctor.
别，我没事 Don't, I-I'm good.
我知道你不喜欢抱抱 - I know you don't want to be hugged. 我不想被抱抱 - I don't want to be hugged.
我尊重你的选择 - And I respect that. So... 那就好， 我没事 - Okay. 'Cause I'm fine.
杰西，不，我很好， Jess, no, I'm good, I'm good.
我说真的，我很好 就是 I promise you, I'm good. Just...
其实这样也很怪 Actually, this is very weird for me.
我没抱你 - I'm not hugging you. 我知道 - I know.
抱歉 - I'm sorry. 说真的 我没事 - I promise you I'm okay.
别做这些了，我不难过 Stop making this a thing, because I'm not sad.
这样最好了 - This is for the best. 好吧 - Yeah. (Grunts)
我很好 - I'm fine. 她配不上你 - She didn't deserve you.
不论哪 意 味着啥 Whatever that means.
谢谢你 - Thank you. 好了，东西差不多都在这了 Okay, almost there.
嘿，我们出发 - Hey, let's go! 好的 - All right.
嘿，那个土豆沙拉 Hey, the potato salad's
完全是意外掉在垃圾里啊 accidentally in the garbage.
看看 Look at that.
你们介意我在车后座上吃这个不 You guys mind if I eat this in the back seat?
你想什么时候在我车后座里吃沙拉都行 You can eat salad in my back seat anytime.
并不意味着那很性感啊 Didn't mean that to be sexual.
好啦，你们 All right, guys.
这个味道有点强 It's a little bit gamey.
好啦 Okay.
我来拿这些垃圾 I'll get the garbage, here.
等会 等会 Hold on, hold on.
苦艾酒 The absinthe.
你差点意外拧断这个 You almost screwed that up by accident.
哇哦 Wow.
我们准备好了，你好没 We're ready.You all right?
耶，我马上出去 Yep, I'll be right with you guys.
那就是个错误，喔噢 That was a mistake! Whoo!
我今晚肯定得 拉稀 I am gonna poop weird tonight!
耶…… 哦……我错了 Yeah... Oooh, that was a mistake.