[ Man ] Not yet, Cary.
Hmm.
Barnaby, you have the key. Ah?
Well, look for it, darling.
Hmm.
Look in this first pocket. That's usually where you hide it.
Oh, yeah. Oh, but I didn't hide it.
I put it there so I could find it. Here it is.
Would you turn on the porch light and turn off that hall light?
Close the door and be sure that it's locked, and I'll start the car.
I understand.
[ Door Locks ]
Oh, it's you. Come on in.
Barnaby. Huh?
We're going to a dance. Oh, yes.
And we're going to be late if we don't hurry. Oh, yeah.
Now, let's start all over again. You've got your key.
Mm-hmm. No, it's in that pocket.
Oh, that's right. I put it there on purpose.
And you're going to turn the porch light on and the hall light off...
and then you're going to lock the door.
Right. Now, come along, darling.
Barnaby, are you thinking? Hmm? Hmm?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's pretty dark in here, isn't it?
That's better.
What are you thinking about?
About the test being made in the lab today.
They proved that only 23% of the formula is being assimilated.
Oh, the formula. Yeah. Well, you know what that means.
That-That means that 73% is absolute waste.
Seventy-three? What happened to the rest of it?
No, no. Not 73, 77. What did I say?
Seventy-seven. Well.
I guess it's had very little effect on those chimpanzees we were experimenting with.
We've been giving it to them for over two months now. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Well, it certainly hasn't done what it should have done.
I thought it was doing rather well.
No, no.
No, that's the trouble. It isn't doing well at all.
What about that one monkey you told me about?
Oh, you mean Rudolph. He's pretty old, isn't he?
Well, Rudolph's about-- Well, he's about the equivalent...
of 84 years old in a human.
Well, didn't the formula cure his rheumatism?
Didn't it make his coat much glossier?
Didn't you say he felt a lot better? Well, in a way.
Well, then, what do you expect?
Well, it isn't what it should be, Edwina.
What must it be before you're satisfied with it?
Theoretically, it should have a much greater effect.
I've just got to find a way to make it more easily assimilable.
Huh? Assimilable? Assi--
More easily assimilated. Oh, yeah.
You know, I thought I had a good idea at the front door just now.
I guess I just thought I had it. Anyway, it's gone.
Well, it'll come back to you. I doubt it.
It'll come back to you. That's the trouble about being a chemist.
You know, you can't actually think.
Every now and then, you feel compelled to sit and stare at a sheet of paper...
hoping it'll speak to you, but it never does.
Oh. Is that a new dress?
Mm-hmm. Oh, I like that. Let me see it.
I like the way it sticks out.
Or is that you? Well, you ought to know.
It isn't you.
You ought to be going somewhere in a dress like that.
Yeah. Well, I'm glad you like it.
Holy smokes.
We forgot all about the party. Why didn't you remind me?
We're not going. Why not?
Well, we're not going for a number of reasons. Oh?
One: When I dance with you, I want to dance with all of you.
I don't want your brain to be somewhere else.
I know. You're not very often the absent-minded professor,
but, darling, when you are, you're a real zombie.
Yeah, I admit it. And I don't want people to see you like that.
Now, go on. Sit down and relax...
and be brilliant.
Hey.
You know, you're all right. How do you like your eggs?
How did eggs get in to the conversation? You're hungry, aren't you?
I fix you something to eat and call Hank and tell him we're not coming.
Did you telephone Hank? Mm-hmm. He wasn't in.
I left a message. Oh.
Don't tell me you've solved the formula already.
No. No, I've had my mind on other things.
Tell me. You've been looking forward to going to this party for a month, haven't you?
Now, darling, we're not even going to discuss it.
I know that. I was just thinking.
It's queer about people. What about people?
Through no fault of their own, they get older.
Now, that's a profound remark. No, they do get older.
Something happens to them. Are you referring to me, Barnaby?
No, I was thinking of the human race as a whole. Pretty sad group.
Would you get me some soup plates, darling?
If you don't think the human race undergoes...
certain morbid changes as it matures,
I ask you to recall the night of the Everett Winston party.
I don't recall any Everett Winston party.
Do you remember our honeymoon?
Of course I do, darling. Put those over there. I was hoping you would.
Well, the week after we got back from our honeymoon,
the Everett Winstons invited us to a party.
I'm sorry, darling, but I don't remember going. We didn't go.
We didn't?
Oh, yes. Now I remember.
We stayed home. Just like tonight.
You know, Edwina, that's what I'm talking about.
We stayed home from that party for an altogether different reason.
Tonight we're staying home for an intellectual reason.
I remember we didn't want to share each other with anyone. You were so sweet.
Remember how the telephone kept ringing for hours and hours and hours?
Remember? [ Doorbell Buzzes ]
I'll get it.
Aw. You see what I mean?
Tonight we're answering calls.
Hi, Hank. Hi.
Say, what's this message about not going out tonight?
That's right. Why?
Well, sometimes there are things more important than going to a dance.
Oh, the genius at work again, huh?
I'm glad I'm a lawyer and not a chemist. Where is he?
He's in the kitchen. I've got a few things to say to him.
This has happened just once too often.
Now, look here, double dome. What's the idea of doing something tonight...
you can do just as well tomorrow?
I'll get you a drink. You'll feel better.
Why can't you be a genius before sundown and a human being afterward?
Because I never know in advance when I'm going to be a genius.
Here's your drink. You can't call off a date at the last minute...
when your wife's got a new dress and I've booked a table.
It just doesn't make sense.
No, I don't suppose it does.
What are you doing?
Nothing, dear. I think you'd better sit down. Huh? What for?
Do as I tell you, and you'll see what I mean.
[ Gasps ] Cold?
I see what you mean. And now neither one of you are making sense.
No. I think Mr. Entwhistle is disturbed...
because he can't take you to the party tonight and dance all over your feet...
as he did the last time.
I certainly didn't reserve a table and order flowers just to look at your face.
I don't suppose you did. Sit down, have your soup while Hank drinks his drink.
And be careful. It's very hot.
Is it all right now? I can only tell you, Mrs. Fulton--
If you'd have been smart enough to marry me instead of... this,
Hmph. you wouldn't be in a kitchen cooking.
No? Where would she be cooking? Mmm!
Barnaby, did you burn yourself? I hope he did.
Darling, I told you it was hot. Don't worry. He has no feelings.
Here, eat some bread. Quickly. Darling, say something.
Heat. I know. Blow on it.
Heat. Just ordinary heat. I never thought of it.
Heat could make the formula 100% effective.
Darling, I think you solved the problem for me.
Do you really think so? I'm almost sure.
Hank, do you know what just happened? He burned his mouth.
No, silly. He just solved our whole future.
If your whole future depends on figuring out that a plate of soup is hot--
Hey, now, wait a minute. Tell him, darling.
I've been promised a pretty good job if I can make this formula work.
No more commercial assignments. No more working on nonskid girdles...
or noiseless popcorn bags.
No fooling? Yes, a roving commission.
Select my own field of research.
Exchange ideas with professors from all over the world, including a percentage.
I can hardly believe-- That's fine. It seems to me a celebration is in order.
No reason to stay home from the yacht club party now.
No. Except we're gonna stay home from the Everett Winston party.
Everett Winston left town three years ago. [ Phone Ringing ]
We're still staying home from his party.
But you can't stay home from a party if you-- [ Ringing ]
Your phone's ringing. Yes, I know.
Shall I answer it? No, just let it ring.
That's important, isn't it. It's very important.
You two are way beyond me. Please convey our regrets to the Everett Winstons.
And say we're very sorry.
The language is confusing, but the actions are unmistakable. [ Ringing ]
Good night, you two.
[ Ringing ]
Just a moment, please. Good morning.
Oh, Dr. Fulton, Mr. Oxly would like to see you in his office.
Thank you.
Good morning, Dr. Fulton. Good morning.
Aren't you here early?
Oh, yes. Mr. Oxly's been complaining about my punctuation.
So I'm careful to get here before 9:00.
Mr. Oxly's on the telephone. Won't you sit down?
I'm glad we have a moment. I have something I want to show you.
For instance?
Isn't it wonderful?
I beg your pardon? The new non-rip plastic stockings you invented.
Oh. The N4-1 Acetate Project.
This is an experimental pair, the first pair out of the factory.
Aren't you proud? Turned out rather well.
I'll say. You can't tear 'em or snag 'em or anything.
I'm familiar with the product. No matter how hard you try.
You'd be amazed, Doctor. Oh, no, I wouldn't be amazed.
I've done a lot of experimenting with this kind of thing.
Of course, I'm through with all of that now.
[ Clears Throat ] Uh, Mr. Oxly. Dr. Fulton's here.
Good morning, sir. Good morning. You can come in now.
Thank you. If you're not too busy.
Well, Miss Laurel was just showing me her acetates.
Yes. Uh, no calls, please. Yes, sir.
Barnaby, I want to talk to you. Yes, sir.
I'm very much interested in this new experiment of yours.
As a matter of fact, I'm all steamed up about it.
How's it coming?
Our problem is to increase the efficiency of the formula.
Could be quite a thing, you know. Yes.
I stumbled onto something last night that may be of help. Well, that's good news.
Oh, I wanted you to see the advertising layout. I want your opinion.
We jumped the gun on it a little, but I thought we'd better be ready.
Well-- Well, why B-4?
B-4, as in, "before and after."
Emphasizes the youth angle.
Get it? Hmph. What's the vulture doing?
That's a phoenix, a mythical bird,
rising out of the ashes of age.
Makes the youth point again.
Dignified, yet forceful.
Do you mind a comment? Not at all. I'd welcome it.
I think it's appalling. From what point of view?
Well, it's lurid and inaccurate.
It implies that we're going to offer the public some sort of "fountain of youth" drug.
But wouldn't it make people young?
Mr. Oxly, we're working with a large number of ingredients,
each of which, as we know, accomplishes certain beneficial results.
Well? Well, it depends upon...
which combination of those ingredients we use...
and the proportions in which we use them.
Mathematically, we may never find the right combination...
or the exact proportions to produce the effect you're talking about.
It would be a miracle. But you can do it, my boy.
[ Door Opens ] I told you I didn't want any calls.
Mr. Oxly, Dr. Linten's on the phone.
I told him you were busy, but he says it's very important.
Who is he? He's-- He's my new assistant.
Oh, yes. Just a moment, Miss Laurel.
Find someone to type this.
Oh, Mr. Oxly, can't I try again?
No, it's very important. Better find somebody to type it for you.
Yes, sir.
[ Door Closes ]
Anybody can type.
Who did she say was calling? Dr. Linten.
Oh, yes. Yes, Dr. Lintle?
Yes? I know he's not there.
Dr. Fulton is here with me.
Ye-- What?
Really? What sort of reactions?
Why, that's amazing! We'll be right there.
Come along, Barnaby. You've done better work than you know.
Come along, Miss Laurel. It's amazing.
What's amazing? Dr. Whatchamacallit says one of your monkeys broke loose.
We've got to hurry.
He's acting very strangely. Obviously a reaction to your formula.
I knew you could do it, Barnaby. I knew it.
[ Monkey Shrieking ]
Be careful, Mr. Oxly. The monkey's turned wild.
Behave yourself. What happened, Jerome?
I haven't the slightest idea, Doctor.
All I know that he's opened the door of his cage and has been acting strangely.
Let go of him, gentlemen. Let's see him in action.
No telling what he's liable to do, sir. Let go of him!
[ Shrieking ]
Look at that old chimp, Miss Laurel.
Eighty-four years old. Fourteen years older than I am.
And just look at him. I am looking, Mr. Oxly.
[ Shrieking ]
This is incredible.
[ Shrieks ] [ Fulton ] Now, Rudolph, you come down.
I don't understand this. Have you been giving him stimulants?
Only the formula. Only X-57, Doctor. [ Men Chattering ]
The test we made yesterday gave no indication that--
Act your age! What's the matter with you today?
Rudolph, come down here! You're not acting like yourself.
This isn't like you. [ Cheeping ]
Come on. Come on.
Now, come on, Rudolph. Behave yourself. Come down here.
That's better. What's he doing there?
That cage contains our new female monkey.
By George. By George!
Come here. Mr. Oxly, haven't you seen enough yet?
Come here.
Something's wrong.
Let me see if there's something I can do with him.
You're welcome to him. Now, Rudolph, you calm down.
Come on, Rudolph. You behave yourself. That's better.
Be a good boy. Do as I tell you. Come on down from there.
Come on. That's it. Come along. Come along.
All right.
Calm down and sit there. Let me look at you. Yes.
Well, gentlemen, I think we've seen enough.
I'd like to consult with Dr. Fulton alone.
Barnaby, if your formula will have the same effect on humans,
it's the greatest thing in modern science. Sit down, Rudolph.
We intend to discontinue every other product in our plant.
We'll turn out B-4 and nothing but B-4.
I'd like to offer myself as the first human to try it.
Mr. Oxly, that may be dangerous.
I'm perfectly willing to take that chance.
Oh. This isn't Rudolph.
What? No, no, no.
This chimpanzee is only six months old.
Rudolph is a male. This is a female.
Barnaby, are you sure? Reasonably.
She's wearing Rudolph's jacket. But this is Esther.
Here, hold on to Esther, will you, please? I'll prove it to you.
Now, there's Rudolph with Esther's number on.
I suppose the janitor gave them a bath and switched jackets by mistake.
Yes, well, I suppose that's the way it happened. I certainly feel let down.
Personally, I'm glad it happened.
You're expecting too much from that formula.
That B-4, Mr. Oxly-- perhaps it's the name that's confusing you.
If you'll just let me work in the laboratory for a couple of hours,
I'll be better able to prove what the formula will do.
Let me know when you're ready. And let's have no more of these false alarms.
They certainly take it out of a man.
Come along, Miss Laurel.
What a ridiculous way to start a day.
I hope it doesn't get any worse.
Sodium ascipate.
3,000 milligrams.
Check. [ Rustling ]
You keep quiet, Esther.
Ooh! Now, Esther, don't you like the way I'm doing this?
Ooh-ooh.
Molybdenum. Ah.
Sodium molybdate. Yeah.
Let's see. Four-tenths each dose.
Three doses would be 1,200 milligrams, right? Check.
Papain.
Two thousand milligrams for the whole three doses?
Check.
Well, that about does it.
Now, Jerome, we will refrigerate these factors...
and heat these.
These remain as is. We'll use Dr. Miller's cooler and incubator.
Shall we label this X-57 as usual?
No, X-58, and not B-4.
Good morning. Oh, Gus.
Did the monkeys take a bath this morning?
Why? Is there one missing?
No, no, Gus. Yes?
Did you bathe the monkeys this morning? Yes, of course. Sure.
Well, then you mixed up their uniforms. Oh, I did?
Oh, I'm awfully sorry, Doctor. I'll fix them up right away.
No, that's all right. You can do it when you feed them this afternoon.
But don't let it happen again. No, sir, I won't.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Oh, quiet down.
You've caused me enough trouble already.
Heh! Grown-up men playing with monkeys.
Mice, rabbits, guinea pigs.
Ooh, ooh, ooh. Now monkeys.
Oh, oh, oh, oh. Whew! What's the matter?
Oh, my bursitis.
Well, that's one of the things I hope the formula will alleviate.
You intend to take it yourself? Certainly I do.
Why not try it on Jerome? I wouldn't dare try it on Jerome.
You remember what happened with the hair restorer?
Yes. One of our more successful experiments. [ Chuckling ]
Well, we learned how to remove hair, anyway.
Let's talk about something else. [ All Chuckling ]
[ Gargling ]
[ Splashes ]
[ Door Opens ]
Whoa, whoa, whoa. How did you get out of there?
Huh? Listen, Esther or Rudolph, whichever one you are.
Come on. You get right back in your cage.
No, I'm not gonna carry you. You walk.
Come on. What did you do, getting out? Get back in.
Go on. How'd you get out, anyway?
Gus. I thought you were going to attend to that later.
Oh, I wasn't changin' 'em, Doctor.
Esther got out, and I was putting her back in her cage.
Oh, I guess that was my fault. I forgot to close the lock.
Kinda messed your stuff up there.
I'll take care of it, Gus. All right.
Oh, don't bother with anything now, Jerome.
I'm anxious to try this.
Seriously, Doctor, you think you should take it?
Self-experimentation is against the rules of all good research.
Jerome, the history of discovery...
is the history of people who didn't follow rules.
Well, here goes.
To X-58 and a better world.
Mmm! Gosh, that's bitter.
I've got to get some water.
Oh, that Gus.
Hmm.
Oh, it even makes the water taste bitter.
Well, better put these away.
Theoretically, Doctor, what might be the first reaction?
I haven't the vaguest idea. What about the lag of time?
Depends upon the period of absorption.
It's quite possible that--
Hmm, touch of dizziness. And you have a slight flush.
That's probably due to my natural excitement.
Hmm. Around 150.
Well, that's odd. There's nothing in the mixture that could accelerate the heart.
And you feel dizzy, you said?
As a matter of fact, I believe it's increasing.
Well, I'd better record my reactions.
Pulse: 150. Is that right?
One-fifty.
Mounting vertigo.
No nausea.
A sensation not unlike...
a series of small electric shocks.
Jerome, Jerome, where are you? I'm here.
What is it? I can't see. I'm blind.
Please, go on with the notes. No, this is too serious.
Do as I tell you. There isn't time. I know what I took.
If there's an antidote, we'll have to find it ourselves.
Now, just take the notes.
It is like a cloud, a very peculiar feeling.
General milkiness, but no discomfort.
In fact, it's a sensation of extreme well-being.
It's as if I--
Doctor, what is it?
A paralysis? Can you speak?
Try tapping once for yes, two for no.
Can you hear me? Doctor, can you hear me?
Perfectly. Hand me the telephone book, please.
Whose number do you want? Let me have the book.
Inglewood. Drop Forge and Tool Company.
1065 West Hauser Avenue,
Inglewood West 60945.
This isn't possible.
It is possible, Jerome. For the first time in ten years,
I am able to see without my glasses.
Perfect vision. I can't believe it.
There. Now I'm blind again. Fog, you see?
Now I can see again. Doctor, X-58 seems to be a success.
Oh, indeed it does.
I'll try my bursitis. Ooh!
Oh, I beg your pardon.
- Not a twinge! - This is amazing.
Dr. Barnaby Fulton, let me shake hands with the next Nobel Prize winner.
Delighted! Pardon me. My phone's running over. [ Phone Ringing ]
Hello, Department of Water and Power. Which one would you care to have cut off?
Hello? Hello? Hello!
Oh, Barnaby, you sound as if the formula was a success. Did it go well?
Anybody giving a party we can stay home from again tonight?
Oh, Barnaby. No one I know of.
Oh, what a shame. Then pour yourself into that new dress,
and we'll go out and celebrate. All right. I'll be ready.
Oh, but don't forget what you have to do. What do I have to do?
First, get a haircut. Haircut, yeah.
And get a new suit. New suit, yeah.
Oh, and darling, stop by the automobile agency.
Mr. Peabody just called and says he has a very good buy.
A good buy, eh? Well, good-bye to you.
Oh, what a joke. A real knee-slapper.
You do feel all right. [ Rings ] I'll get it.
Hello, Griffith Park Zoo. Snake Department. [ Hisses ]
Hello, hello. What is this? What's wrong?
- This is Mr. Oxly. - I'll see if he's here.
No, no, no. I said, this is Oxly. Who is?
I am, speaking. Oh, you're Mr. Speaking.
This is Mr. Oxly speaking. Oxly Speaking. Any relation to Oxly?
Barnaby Fulton, is that you? I am, Barnaby! Who's calling?
Oh, no, you're not Barnaby. I'm Barnaby. I ought to know who I am.
This is Oxly speaking, Barnaby! Well, now, that's ridiculous.
You can't be all three. Figure out which one you are and then call me back.
And I'm coming right down there!
Coming right down-- all three of him.
What will you do? What will you tell him? I won't be here.
Where are you going? I've got things to do.
What? I've got to get my hair cut and a new suit and car.
But Mr. Oxly will be furious. What shall I tell him?
Just tell him the truth-- you don't know who he is. I can't say that.
Just keep your Bunsen burning. But, Doctor--
Where's Dr. Fulton? Where's Dr. Fulton? I want to see him.
He just left. I didn't pass him in the hall.
He went through the window. Through the window?
What's this all about? What's happened to the man?
He took some of the formula and went out of here...
acting almost as though-- no, exactly as though he were 20 years old.
By George, by George. Do you know where he went?
Yes, sir. Hello. Get me Miss-- Hello. Get me Miss Laurel, quick.
Where did he go? To buy a new automobile, sir.
What kind of car does he drive? A Ford.
Hello, Miss Laurel. Now, listen carefully.
I want you to go to every Ford agency in town...
and find Dr. Fulton.
But, Mr. Oxly, what shall I do first?
He'll be at the agencies.
To find him, you'll have to go there.
Oh, I see, Mr. Oxly. And bring him back here.
Yes, sir. Right away.
Well, Doctor, I cut it the way you wanted me to.
I hope Mrs. Fulton likes it. She will.
What do you think? It fits rather well.
But are you sure it's what you want, Dr. Fulton?
Tell me, do they ever wear trousers to match?
Oh, very seldom. Usually gray flannels. I see.
Oh! These socks ought to go well with it.
To be honest with you, Dr. Fulton, I don't think either you or Mrs. Fulton...
are going to be happy with this type of car.
It isn't exactly what you had in mind.
Yeah, well, you're perfectly right. Let's take off the fenders.
I'm sorry, we can't do that, Doctor. It's against the state law.
Oh, it's too bad.
You don't happen to have a beaver tail anywhere around, do you? I--
Hello, Miss Laurel.
- Oh, hello, Dr. Fulton. - Hi!
Hi.
- I'm so glad I found you. - No, I found you.
Pick a finger. Dr. Fulton!
Oh, you know that one. Oh, what a pity. Yes.
Mr. Oxly sent me. He wants to see you right away.
Oh, well, hop in the bus. I'll get you there in a hurry.
Is this your car? Sure.
Gee, it's a honey. It takes one to know one.
Oh, Mr. Peabody, will you get that suit box out of my old car, please?
Well, all set?
Is your motor running? Is yours?
Here you are, Doctor. Thank you, Mr. Peabody. Just mail me the bill.
Certainly. Takes a while to warm up.
It does me too.
Well, watch your head. I'll watch everything else. Hoo!
[ Tires Squealing ]
[ Horns Honking ]
Oh, Dr. Fulton, this is fun.
What about Mr. Oxly? The plant's back that way.
I know. We're going to circle the field.
So fasten your safety belt and no smoking.
[ Horns Honking ]
Oh, Doctor! Look and see if the flaps are down.
[ Tires Squealing ]
[ Screams ]
[ Crash ]
Well, Doc, she'll be good as new by 5:00.
5:00? Oh, we can do lots of things by then.
Can't we? Sure, Doc.
Come along. Do you skate much, Doc?
Not lately. But don't worry. I'll show you how.
Look out, Doc!
Careful!
Oh, I'm all right. I'll get the hang of it soon.
I'm gonna be good. You wait. Oh, my God! Whoa!
Doc, that's awful high.
Oh, no, not for me. Well, everybody looking at me?
How about some music? I'd love it.
** You sure know how to have a good time. Yeah.
You know something? I used to think you didn't like me.
Just a minute. Do you like me a little?
Just a minute. Well, say so.
I like you. I'm crazy about you, Doc.
Oh, no, no. Wait. Listen to this. ** [ Light Jazz ]
Oh, that's dull-- Uh, uh! Don't you dare turn that off.
That's our favorite song. Ours?
Yeah. Edwina's and mine. Edwina?
My wife. Oh.
* Gentlemen songsters off on a spree *
* Dewdrop * I must say, it sounds like a silly song to me.
Why must you say that?
In my opinion, it's a silly song.
In my opinion, your opinion that it's a silly song...
is a silly opinion. Oh!
[ Horn Honking ]
Is it getting dark? No, not particularly.
What's the matter? Must be something wrong with my eyes.
Is there anything I can do, Doctor?
No, no, no. It's just, I can't see very well.
Please don't be angry with me. Oh, I'm not angry.
Because I would-- [ Screams ]
[ Horn Honking ] Why did you yell?
Because--
Nothing.
Don't be mad at me. Oh, I'm not mad.
Tell me, is the plant along here somewhere? Yes.
Would you please tell me where to turn?
Turn right. Now.
[ Tires Squealing ]
Turn, Doctor, turn! Now?
Yes, turn! Turn!
Doctor! Are you all right, Miss Laurel?
I told you to turn. Yes, yes, I know.
I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid I can't see.
Would you be good enough to park the car for me, please?
Sure, I will. Thank you.
Hello, Mrs. Fulton. Good evening, Joe. Thanks for calling me.
Is the doctor in his office? Yes, ma'am.
When I went to tell him you were coming, he'd gone to sleep, so I didn't wake him up.
Does Mr. Oxly know that the doctor's come back?
Yes, ma'am. He said he'd be down. Thank you, Joe.
Mmm? Who is it?
It's me, darling. Oh, hello, Edwina. I can't see you.
Where are your glasses? Let me think.
I left them in the lab. Jerome probably put them someplace.
I'll find them for you. Oh, here they are.
Whew! Barnaby.
Hmm? Are you sure you're all right? Here.
Here they are. Oh. I'm just a little fuzzy. What time is it?
It's almost 8:00.
Oh, no. It's that late?
Mm-hmm. Oh, I've done it again. We were going out for dinner.
I've already had dinner, but I've brought some for you.
You know, Edwina, I'm terribly sorry. I wouldn't have--
I know you wouldn't have, darling.
Where did you get the poodle? Poodle?
Don't tell me I bought a poodle.
The haircut. Oh, yeah, that, that. Oh, yeah.
That's quite a jacket you bought too. Yeah, I know.
Wait till you see the car I got.
No, what kind? You'll see it soon enough.
Darling, you were a real idiot to try the formula on yourself.
Something could have happened. Oh, it did.
I mean, something serious. Here, have some coffee.
Thank you. Oh. Oh, I strained every muscle in my body.
Roller-skating. Don't tell me you went roller-skating.
I'm afraid I did. And your face is breaking out with red blotches.
Oh, they're not blotches, dear. That's lipstick.
Oh.
Yeah. Edwina, what I have to tell you is unbelievable.
Yes, it is unbelievable on roller-skates. Hmm, what balance.
Well, I wasn't on roller-skates all afternoon.
Obviously. No. You'll never believe what I did.
I broke records. Huh?
You'd have been amazed. I wish you could've been there.
I wish I had been too. Well,
I did things that I never dreamed I'd do.
You know, I tried to swan-dive.
I missed.
Well, no wonder you're worn out.
Barnaby, all of this is very confusing.
What about the formula? That's what I was telling you about.
Oh. Oh! I'll start at the beginning.
At 11:52 this morning,
I took a dose of the formula,
and in a few minutes, I began to behave exactly like a college boy...
with 20/20 vision and no bursitis.
And plenty of lipstick. Uh-- Well, the formula had nothing to do with that.
I'll get to that later.
Edwina, we've discovered something...
that the human race has been searching for since the beginning of time.
Are you really serious, Barnaby? It works?
Well, it did on me. Of course, I can't explain the reactions.
It seems to work on the mind.
Edwina, imagine: people never aging.
It sounds frightening. You mean, it really does that?
Well-- Of course, I don't know half of what it'll do.
The dose I took has already worn off. Let's see, that was...
eight hours.
Probably, the dose was wrong.
Well, we'll see. Hey, where are you going?
I'm going to try the experiment again,
but this time with a larger dose. Huh? Oh!
Switch on the light, will you, please, dear?
Barnaby.
Must you make another test?
Oh, probably several.
I'm glad you're here to see that nothing goes wrong this time.
I want you to observe and make notes of everything I do.
Mmm. Knowing me so well, you'll be able to interpret...
the exact meaning of my behavior pattern.
Don't you think you ought to change that coat...
and wipe that stuff off your face before you try it again?
Oh, yes. Perhaps you're right. Whose lipstick is it?
Uh, what's-her-name's-- you know, Oxly's secretary.
Oh. You mean, that little pinup girl?
Very cute. Sort of, but half infant.
- Not the half that's visible. - [ Mock Chuckle ] Well, she's not my type.
Barnaby, how much of this stuff are you going to take?
Just what I've poured out there. I've increased the dose.
See, that way, I'll be-- [ Liquid Sloshing ]
Edwina, what are you doing? What did you do that for?
[ Coughs ] 'Cause this is the way it should be.
After all, you're the scientist, and you should do the observing.
But-- Don't argue. Go get your notebook.
I've done it. Oh, it tastes bitter. Get me some water.
Oh, now, really, Edwina. For heaven's sake.
Besides, according to your story, you weren't exactly 100% scientist after you took it.
Other things became much more interesting. Perhaps you're right.
Oh. Even the water tastes bitter.
It did to me too.
[ Shudders ]
Barnaby, I'm a little bit frightened.
I'm here, dear. It's kind of silly, isn't it?
I'll take care of you.
I don't feel anything.
Is it supposed to work right away? Just a few moments.
Would you clean off your face?
Because if I get ten years younger and see that lipstick,
I'm liable to knock somebody's block off. Yes, dear.
Barnaby, is it true about B-4?
I've just heard the most fantastic things about you. Does it work?
You'll have a chance to judge for yourself quite soon, Mr. Oxly.
My wife just took 50 CCs of the formula.
Really? By George, by George.
Dr. Brunner and Miss Laurel are on their way. Leave word they are to come here immediately.
Well, Mrs. Fulton. It's very kind of you to lend yourself to this experiment.
Thank you, Mr. Oxly.
Well, we have to watch your reactions, darling.
Yes, I suppose so.
Now I know how a poor little guinea pig must feel.
May I sit down? Yes, dear.
Don't just stand there. Do something.
Yes, dear.
Mmm.
Pulse around 150, just the same as mine was.
There doesn't seem to be any fever.
Outside of being somewhat embarrassed, I feel exceedingly well.
What reaction do you expect, Barnaby?
I don't quite know. I suppose it depends upon the individual.
With you, it took the form of thinking as though you were 20.
Oh, it's true. Keep still, Edwina.
What was Mrs. Fulton like at that age? Huh?
Well, Edwina was a very serious-minded student.
She majored in economics...
and took several summer courses in ichthyology and cooking.
Ichthyology? Mmm, the study of fish.
Jerome said your first symptom was your eyes. Your vision became perfect.
True, but you can't count upon that.
See, Edwina's vision is already perfect.
It will probably take an entirely different form.
My dear, do you feel anything strange?
Not a thing. How about you, Mr. Oxly?
Oh, but I haven't taken anything.
Oh, yes, you have, Mr. Oxly.
Hear that, Barnaby? A rather odd reaction.
Undoubtedly, we can expect something soon.
We certainly can. She's sitting very still.
Is it possible there's not enough movement?
If there isn't, there soon will be. I can hardly wait for results.
This is quite a moment.
That's it, Oxly! Watch him, Barnaby! It's working!
It's working. You hear what she said, Barnaby? It's taking effect.
Something wrong, Barnaby. What's the matter, sir?
I don't know. Perhaps the excitement's been too much for you.
Perhaps you ought to sit down, Mr. Oxly. Calm yourself, Mr. Oxly.
Now, take your time, Mr. Oxly.
That's better. Take your time and sit down.
Oh, my. * Oh, my Give me a piece of pie *
* E-I Give me a piece of pie *
We ought to go now. * E-I Give me a piece of pie *
We ought to go. Yes. * E-I Give me a piece of pie *
Barnaby, what are you doing? I'll be right back.
* E-I Give me a piece-- **
- Hi, Dr. Fulton. - Hi.
- What did you say to her? - Mrs. Fulton, he said "hi."
I heard what he said, you peroxide kissing bug.
Edwina, she hasn't done anything.
I'll pull that blonde hair out by its black roots.
Edwina, now come along. Miss Laurel, keep out of the way.
Put 'em up! Put 'em up! Edwina, now stop it.
Mr. Oxly, I'll be right back. Put 'em up! Put 'em up!
Wasn't that fun? Did ya see him jump? I put a fish in his trousers.
Let's go back and have more fun. I don't think we'd better.
Why not? Where are we going? Anywhere.
Let's go dancing. Edwina--
All right, we'll go dancing. Anything you say.
[ Chuckles ] Oh, is this our new car?
I'm afraid it is. Hey, that's super-duper.
Oh, you like it? Oh, boy, yes!
Hey, why don't you let me drive. You get over there, huh?
I know. We'll go dancing at the Pickwick Arms.
Pickwick Arms? Yeah, that's in La Jolla. Don't you remember?
Of course I remember. Room 304, where we spent our honeymoon.
[ Engine Starts ]
All that way?
Yeah, we'll stop by the house and get some things. Won't it be fun?
Just to go dancing?
Edwina, I put the bags in the car.
We can keep your coat on the--
Barnaby, do you think this is too conservative?
Well, I-- What do you think?
Well, I-- Say something.
Well, I-- Glad you like it. I'm gonna drive. You're too slow.
How do you work this? Oh, yes. Like that. [ Engine Starts ]
[ Tires Squealing ]
[ Giggling ]
Oh, Barney, it's gonna be our honeymoon night all over again.
With no hands! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Honeymoon with no hands. Yeah. Sure.
Aren't you excited? Yes, of course, dear,
but there's no hurry about it.
Wouldn't you like to slow down so that we can talk?
Who wants to talk?
Well, Edwina, I have to test your reactions.
Oh, Barney!
Oh, it's wonderful to have the wind in your hair and watch the moon and the stars--
And the road! Oh, the road.
[ Tires Squealing ]
[ Muttering ] Evening, sir.
Oh, good evening. Would you like to register?
Yes, please.
Do you have a small suite overlooking the ocean, please?
Uh, yes, sir. Thank you.
Psst! Psst! I beg your pardon?
Psst! Oh.
Is room 304 vacant? Yes.
That's the bridal suite, you know. Yes, I know.
Psst!
Oh, yeah.
Could you please leave word that we're not to be disturbed?
Yes, sir.
304. Come along, dear.
Thank you very much. Yes, indeed.
** [ Swing Jazz ]
Edwina. Edwina, dear.
Barney, listen to that. Let's not waste time.
Let him take the bags on up to the room.
Darling, it's 11:00. I've had a very rough day.
Oh, Barney, you promised. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Just put the keys in the room, bring me the bags, and I'll--
** [ Continues ]
** [ Slow Waltz ]
* We're poor little lambs *
* Who have lost our way *
* Baa-- *
Barney. Barney, don't go to sleep. This is our song.
Oh. Yes, dear.
* We're little black sheep *
* Who have gone astray *
Barney? Hmm?
Every time I hear it, it makes me feel--
Darling, I could never be mad or unhappy when I hear it.
I just want to be near you.
Yes, dear.
Barney, waltz, waltz, waltz.
Yes, dear.
** [ Fast Swing ] Oh, no! No!
Whew!
Oh, oh, come on, Edwina.
There you go.
Ha-ha! Whee!
[ Crash ]
[ Giggling ] Get up, Edwina.
[ Laughing ] Now, Edwina--
Get up, Edwina. Get up.
[ Laughing ] Help me up.
Oh!
Whee, that was fun! Barney, try it. I wouldn't think of it.
Come on, try it. Oh, there it is.
Listen to me. Please, dear. Here we are.
Oh, I know where the key is. It's here. You usually keep it here.
Oh. Right there. See?
Okay, here we go. Really?
Open the door. Hooray.
Edwina, aren't you beginning to feel tired at all?
Not a bit. Why? Do you wanna go someplace?
Oh, no, no, no. No, I was thinking, you know.
I-I should make a few tests, check your blood pressure and heart.
Oh, Barnaby.
Not tonight.
Uh, Edwina, in making such an experiment, it's always good to make as few--
Barney. What?
Are you sure you really love me?
Well, of course I do, dear. Whatever made you ask such a question?
Well, it just occurred to me.
Now, does that answer your question?
You know, I love you so much it makes me dizzy.
Really? Mmm.
When did that start? First time I ever met you.
No, no. I mean the dizziness.
Oh, I don't know.
This is our honeymoon night, and that's all I care to think about.
Yes, dear.
Barney. Barney? What are you going to do?
Oh, I was just going to put on my pajamas.
Well, uh, uh,
don't you think you'd better change in there?
What for? Well, uh, well, that-that's all right.
I'll-- I'll take my things in the bathroom.
For heaven's sake.
I'll only be a few minutes.
Hmm. Became suddenly shy. I'd better put that down.
I'll just--
Hmm.
"Fifteen minutes to change.
Complete reversal of usual behavior pattern."
Oh.
Edwina? Edwina, are you all right?
Yes, darling. I'll be out in a second.
Oh. Good.
Oh, Barney, I'm so happy.
[ Crying ]
What's the matter?
What--
Well, what's the matter, darling? Why are you crying?
I can't help it.
Well, is it because of something I said or did? No.
Well, what is it then?
I was just thinking.
What about?
Mother!
Oh, Mother. Now I understand.
No, you don't.
Well, what is it then?
Oh, I can't help of thinking how she must be feeling tonight.
She never liked you.
Well, I must say she doesn't try very hard, either.
I do everything I can to please her.
How can you be so insensitive?
She had such wonderful dreams for me and my future.
Well, she can still have them, can't she?
No, she can't. She can't.
Oh, now, Edwina, we drove all the way down here to enjoy ourselves...
and to pursue an important scientific experiment at the same time.
Now let's not spoil it all by having a silly quarrel about nothing.
Don't you call my mother "nothing."
I didn't call your mother "nothing."
Don't you raise your voice to me.
I'm not raising my voice!
Hank Entwhistle wouldn't fly into a rage...
just because a girl happened to mention her mother.
Oh, for heaven's sake. What's Hank Entwhistle got to do with anything?
I only mentioned Hank Entwhistle...
because my mother was always very fond of him.
He knew how to please her.
There's something clinical about the way you bring up the name of Hank Entwhistle...
every time you get annoyed with me.
Do you regret not having married him?
Look who's talking! Oh.
What about Elvira Bliss?
Oh, for heaven's sakes. Elvira Bliss? That was in grammar school.
I know. She was the teacher.
And I suppose that Myra McKillip was in grammar school too,
and Miriam Ingals, whom you tried to teach to play golf for three years!
Oh, yeah, that reminds me. She's still got my putter.
And you dare speak of Hank Entwhistle,
who only kissed me once.
He kissed you?
Well, that's something you never saw fit to tell me before.
You kissed Hank Entwhistle?
I never said that! Oh, for--
I said, he kissed me! I never kissed him!
You did say exactly that. I said nothing of the kind!
No, no! My glasses.
You struck me! You struck me! Oh, no, I didn't!
You horrible thing! You brute!
You get out of my room! You've really got to cut it out!
You get out of my room!
Oh, no, no, no. Edwina, now stop it. Now, really.
Oh, Edwina, now this is ridiculous. You know I can't see.
Edwina, please, let me in! [ Crying ]
Do you realize that I'm out here in the hall in a--
Oh, no, no. Oh, no.
Edwina, something's caught in the door. Please, let me in.
Well, it's your own fault!
Please, let me in! No.
Uh-- Oh, my.
Well, if there's only some way I can make you understand.
Oh, I know. Edwina?
Edwina, dear, listen to me.
* We're poor little lambs *
* Who have lost our way *
* Baa baa baa **
Edwina, are you there?
Edwina? Edwina, please!
Operator!
Now, Edwina, I can't stay out here any longer.
Oh, well.
[ Grunt ]
Oh, oh.
Oh, you unlocked the door. Well, it's about time.
Now, dear, if you'll just cooperate-- Aah!
Help! Police! There's a man!
Help! Police!
Oh, dear.
I wish I knew where there was a telephone. Oh, perhaps there's one in here.
Hmm. You'd think there'd be a telephone somewhere.
No. Oh.
Whoa!
Oh, where am I? Ooh!
Yike! [ Groaning ]
Oh, let me in, Edwina. Let me in.
The key's in the car, ma'am.
All right. Thank you very much. Thank you.
How's that, mister? All right? Oh, yes, thank you.
Barnaby! Oh, my poor darling!
Oh, Edwina, is that you?
Darling, I've looked everywhere for you.
What are you doing here? Getting out of the laundry.
The laun-- These two ladies were kind enough to help me.
Thank you both very much. I'll be all right now. Yes, thank you.
We're glad to help. Anytime at all, mister.
I hope I don't do it again. Barnaby, do you want to go into the hotel and change?
Oh, no, no, no. Please, just take me away from here.
Take me home. Well, the car's right over here.
How did you get in the laundry?
Well, I don't know. I think I flew in.
Look out for the step. Oh. But I didn't have my glasses.
Yes, I know. I stepped on them.
Here, you'd better put this on. What for?
Because you might get cold. Oh.
That's it. There now. Now get in.
Oh, it's-- Huh.
Are you all right?
Yes, thank you, dear. Are you?
Yes. The effects of the formula have worn off.
Now don't talk. Just relax, and try to get some sleep on the way home.
Yes, dear.
Darling? Hmm?
We're home. Wake up.
Oh, good, good, good. [ Grunts ]
[ Birds Chirping ]
Oh. I'll help you.
You know what? I just had such a peculiar dream about Hank.
Was that true about you kissing him?
Not that it matters, of course. Darling, that's so silly.
Oh, I just remembered. I did something terrible, and I forgot to tell you.
Hey.
Who's that? Hold it.
You get it? Yep.
Dr. Fulton? We're from the news. We'd like a statement. Yes.
What about? We had a call from your lawyer, Mr. Entwhistle.
Oh, my. I do wish Hank wouldn't give out statements to the press about my work.
Give us the whole story, Doc. Barney, I think--
Darling, I-I can't be impolite to the gentlemen.
I have nothing to say until I've finished all of my experiments.
Is there another woman? Oh, no, no. There's no other woman.
My wife has been my only victim so far.
I'll have a much better story for you when I've experimented with ten or twenty others.
Hmm. I'm not going to try it again with human beings for a while.
I'll stick to chimpanzees. Is that right?
Wait a minute, Barney. You-- You're talking about two different things.
Well, what happened, Doc? Did your wife raid your love nest?
Don't answer that, Barney. You don't know what he means.
Don't try to protect him. This is good for our side. What are you doing here?
Look out. Get inside. Don't do that, Mrs. Fulton.
This is all the story I've got. That's all the story you're going to get.
What is the idea of making statements to the press?
Don't try to pretend you don't know the reason. Well, I-I--
I tried to tell you out on the porch, but you wouldn't--
You know the reason very well, and don't pretend that you don't.
It happened at the hotel last night. Keep your distance.
After you left-- If you lay a hand on her, you'll answer to me.
Hank, will you please shut up and go home? Wha--
Barnaby, I've tried t-- Mother!
- Well! - Oh, no.
Edwina, Hank told me.
I expected you'd be bruised and disfigured.
But, Mother, you don't understand. What is everyone talking about?
You stay away from her, you wife-beater!
Mother, it isn't what you think. Now, it's all my fault.
I won't let you forgive him. He'll just do it again. Hank, will you please shut up?
Edwina, Hank's right. And you, too, Mother!
But as your lawyer and your friend-- Hank, you are going.
But it's my duty-- You are just one too many.
But you told me that-- I know I did.
What is it you want me to do if you don't want-- I'll telephone. Now go on.
Now listen here, you two.
No. You listen to me. I'm not going to let you throw away the rest of your life.
Oh, Mother-- Will you please tell me what's been going on?
If you'll only give me-- Oh, I just knew something like this would happen.
Edwina, will you please tell me what's-- Quiet.
Mother, I've been playing guinea pig for Barnaby, trying a new formula.
And, under its influence, I caused all this mess.
Oh. Oh, you-- You mean you telephoned Hank?
Yes, darling, I-I did that last night after you left. Oh, really.
I'm terribly sorry, but I couldn't help it.
Oh, well, I don't suppose it was your fault, actually.
Oh, don't let him dominate you again.
Do something, do anything, but just don't--
My-My-My-My dear mother-in-law. Yes?
Now, I have not lost my temper with you for seven years.
Do not trifle with your luck.
Well, let's be civilized about this. Well, that's better.
Now, just mind your business and shut up! W--
Now will you drive me to the plant, please, Edwina?
Right away? Yeah, yeah.
As soon as I can put on some clothes, I'll try to salvage some of the wreckage...
I seem to have made of our lives.
Well, I-- Mother, I think you'd better be quiet.
Hello, Jerome. Well, good morning, Mrs. Fulton.
Doctor, I looked everywhere for you last night. Later, please, Jerome.
Right now I'd like to have the laboratory to myself for a while.
Oh, yes. Very well, Doctor.
Oh, Edwina, my spare glasses are in the top drawer of the desk.
Would you get them, please? Certainly, dear.
Here? Oh, yes, here they are.
Darling, you're acting rather stern.
Are you angry at me because of what I did last night?
Edwina, now, I thought this over very carefully,
and I've almost come to a conclusion.
I'm thinking of destroying the formula.
Destroying it? So then you are angry.
Oh, I've been in better moods.
Do you think you'd feel any better if I fixed you some toast and coffee?
You haven't had any breakfast yet, remember? Yeah, thank you.
I'm starved. Well, the coffee and coffee pot are in there.
You can use this plug that Jerome uses. All right.
You know, I-I've decided that the formula is the most dubious discovery since itching powder,
and just about as useful.
Oh, I wouldn't say that. It cured your bursitis and improved your vision.
And I must say, it made you feel young. Hmm!
I'm beginning to wonder if being young is all it's cracked up to be.
The dream of youth.
We remember it as a time of nightingales and valentines, and what are the facts?
Maladjustment, near idiocy, and a series of low-comedy disasters.
That's what youth is. I don't see how anyone survives it.
Now, Edwina? Hmm?
Tell me something, because it's been bothering me. Yes, dear?
Why did you want to divorce?
Oh, Barnaby. It wasn't me.
It was the formula. You ought to understand that.
Oh, I understand it was the formula that brought it out.
Brought what out?
Well, some subconscious aversion to me.
Aversion to you?
Well, I love you, you potato head.
How do I know there isn't some buried resentment...
that you don't consciously realize?
Well, I certainly don't consciously realize,
and I think that's pretty rotten of you to say that.
Wait a minute.
What about the way you kept bringing up Hank Entwhistle?
Oh, bosh. Do you love him?
Now that is ridiculous. I don't know.
You kissed him, didn't you? You can't seem to get that out of your mind, can you?
No, I can't. Well, all right.
Are you in love with this, um, whozits?
Of course not. Well, you went smooching with her on roller skates.
And may I ask, what was your hidden aversion or subconscious discontent,
or whatever it is you want to call it,
that made you go playing patty-cake with her all over town?
Doing a swan dive, acting like a--
Well, go on.
Oh, Barnaby.
Don't say anything, darling, and I won't either.
We shouldn't be fighting,
having doubts about our marriage.
That isn't right. Well, that's just my point.
That's why I'm going to destroy the formula.
Oh, now, really. Are you crying?
Hmm.
Are you sure you wanna throw away two years of hard work?
Yes, I am. But it's still in my head, unfortunately.
I'm going to forget it. It's too dangerous. It's utterly unpredictable.
Oh, no. Now, please, please. Don't use this water. Can't you see the sign?
Just use the bottled water out of the cooler.
And make plenty of coffee. I need a lot this morning.
That's that.
Hello? This is Mr. Oxly.
Oh, Mr. Oxly, Dr. Fulton's here in the plant. He just came in with Mrs. Fulton.
Are you sure? Yes, sir.
Well, how is Mrs. Fulton? Is she behaving normally?
Well, she didn't try to hit me, but she wasn't very polite.
She said that-- Never mind.
Now listen carefully, Miss Laurel. I don't want them to leave.
Have the guards hold 'em if they try to go.
You understand? Yes, sir.
And notify the entire board of directors...
that I want to see them in the conference room immediately.
I'll be right down. Yes, sir.
[ Clicks Tongue ]
My, this is funny-tasting coffee. It's bitter.
Yeah, I noticed it. It's not the coffee.
It's the aftereffects of the formula. Hmm. The formula.
What a fool I was to let you take that stuff last night.
Well, you couldn't help it. Hmm.
Hey, that's your third cup. I know it.
That's your second cup, isn't it?
Yes. Good.
Supposing you'd taken an overdose?
Perhaps I did. No, I mean a serious overdose.
You know, it's perfectly logical to assume that you'd have behaved even younger. Hmm.
You remember Mr. Oxly jumping around? Yeah.
My, I'm going to be embarrassed when I see him again. Hmm!
How young do you think it could really make you if you drank a whole glassful?
Oh, I don't know.
Twelve, ten, five--
It might even turn you into an infant.
Hmm-hmm. [ Laughs ]
I was just imagining you not being able to talk...
or feed yourself even.
It could be very embarrassing.
Yeah, couldn't it be?
Well, you know that's just about what could happen.
[ Phone Rings ] Ah! Ta-da. I'll get it.
Hello? Hi!
Hey, did you ever find the fish? What'd you do with him?
Ha! Yeah, I'm keen. He's here. Just a minute. It's old Oxly.
What's on your mind? [ Clears Throat ] Ha-ha-ha.
Barnaby, could you and your wife meet me right away?
We're just here drinking coffee.
I'll be in the conference room. We'll be right there.
Put that back, please. Put that back, please.
Any other orders, sir? Going up.
Good morning, gentlemen. Good morning.
Dr. Fulton will be here shortly, so please be seated.
We must act quickly.
You all know why you're here: to negotiate with Dr. Fulton for his formula.
As far as money goes, I say all out, and hang the expense.
Yes, but as chairman of your board of directors,
I want to point out that Fulton made his discovery on our time.
I've got bad news for you, G.J. We do not have the formula.
What? Last night, Dr. Lentil--
Dr. Linten. Dr. Linten, Dr. Fulton's assistant,
brought me a dose of the formula, and I took it.
I can't tell you with what eagerness I awaited the results, but there were none.
No reactions at all.
The formula that Dr. Thingamabob brought me is incomplete.
Now, there must be another ingredient that he knows nothing about.
Dr. Fulton has made no record of it,
and there's nothing in his notes to tell us what it is.
And without that ingredient, we are helpless.
Failure to keep complete records is against every rule of this organization.
Fulton knows that. He's been an employee for over ten years.
Failure may not have been intentional.
Fulton was not himself yesterday morning. No, definitely not.
- Well, let's hope he's himself now. - There's no doubt about it.
We are now dealing with a sane and adult scientist,
and I anticipate no difficulties.
Well?
All right, Oliver, go ahead if you want to. It's up to you.
I wonder what's keeping them.
Doctor, would you mind taking a look? Yes, sir.
Hmm. Uh--
Oh, Barnaby, Mrs. Fulton, come on in.
Uh, what's the matter? No. Come on in.
Mrs. Fulton, forget all about last night.
I assure you I have. Come in. Yes, yes.
You fellows are always experimenting, aren't you?
I believe you know everybody here.
Yes. Come on. There you go.
Take a seat. Thank you.
Make yourself comfortable. Oh, Mrs. Fulton, won't you sit over here?
Do I have to?
No. I wanna sit here.
All right.
Barnaby, I think I speak for everyone here when I say that I consider you...
one of the great men of modern science. You hear that?
Now, I asked you to come here today to discuss the sale of your formula.
Our organization-- [ Bubble Gum Pops ]
Our organization is ready to offer you a block of stock,
the income from which is sufficient to keep you and Mrs. Fulton--
to keep you and Mrs. Fulton in comfort for the rest of your lives.
Oh. Now the question is, how much cash do you want?
Mmm.
[ Clicks Tongue ] Barnaby?
I said, how much cash do you want?
How much? Oh.
Name any amount. A zillion dollars.
- What? - How much did he say?
A zillion dollars. That's a million trillion.
By George, he's taken it again! Obviously.
Look here, Fulton. Your discovery was our property in the first place.
Now take it easy. We don't have to give you a cent.
Oh, I wish I had a nickel. Fulton, I'll blackball you out of the chemical industry!
You're talking to a child, G.J. Don't be ridiculous.
He's no child. Oh, what you said. Put 'em up!
Here, give me something. Knock that off my shoulder. No, no, no, no!
Barnaby, when we get mad, we don't fight, do we?
Yes, we do. They didn't teach you that in school.
Well, who care-- Hi!
Hello, Dr. Fulton.
Did you come to play with me? No.
I came to tell Mr. Oxly-- Never mind, Miss Laurel.
I think you'd better go. No, no, no. I want her to stay and play with me.
Well, if I let her stay, will you tell me the missing ingredient in your formula?
Yes, yes! All right, go ahead.
Well, well. All right, now-now say "terrify."
Terrify. Now say "tissue."
Tissue. Now say them both fast together.
Terrify tissue. No!
How dare you! Oh, goody, goody!
Why, Miss Laurel-- Really, Mr. Ox--
But I don't-- Don't you do that. Oh! You too!
I did it! I pinched her! I shot her!
Oh, now you've spoiled everything!
Did you see her run? She's a scaredy-cat!
Now, little girl, you stop it! Hear me? Stop it!
Now you come over here. [ Esther Screeches ]
You sit in that chair and behave yourself.
You understand? Behave yourself! Yes, sir.
Now, Barnaby? [ Screeching ]
Barnaby? Barnaby, where are you? He's under the table.
Barnaby, what are you doing under there?
Tickling Esther. [ Screeching ]
Now come on out. I wanna talk to you. I don't wanna talk anymore.
G.J., we're dealing with a ten-year-old.
We've got to humor him. There's no other way. If you say so, Oliver.
Well, come on down here and help me! Don't just stand there!
[ Screeching ]
Barnaby? Barnaby, I want to talk to you.
You want to tickle Esther? She likes it. No, no, no, no, no.
How would you like to have a nice gold watch and chain all your own?
Oh. Would you like that, Barnaby?
I've got one. But not like this one.
No, no, I don't want it. Well, would you like a new bicycle or a pony?
How would you like that? Oh. What do I have to do for it?
All you have to do is to tell us what was the ingredient...
that you put in the formula. Oh. Oh.
Well, you promised me a zillion dollars and a nickel.
We'll give you a zillion dollars. And a nickel.
And-And a motorboat, and-and-and a new pony.
Yes, how would you like that? When?
Just as soon as you tell us what the ingredient was you added to the formula.
Oh, that's simple. I just added--
Oh! Now look what--
Barnaby! Barnaby! Aren't you gonna tell us, Barnaby?
What you wanna write that for? Because it's true, true!
It isn't, and you're gonna erase it! I won't!
Yes, you will! Barnaby, you promised to give us the ingredient!
You can't make me! Yes, I will!
- Barnaby! - Head her off!
You big bully! I'll tell my mother! Stop her, somebody!
- Barnaby, you can't catch me! - Well, why don't you help me catch her?
If we catch her, will you tell us? Sure!
- Somebody, stop her there! Catch her! - Stop! King's X!
What was it? Heat!
I heated the mixture to 150 degrees Fahrenheit! By George, we've got it!
No fair! No fair!
Now I got you. Go on, erase it. No, I won't!
Yes, you erase it! You hurt me! Let go!
You big crybaby! You erase it and-- Aah!
Esther, what are you doing up there?
Come down here this instant. Mr. Oxly, they're getting away!
Let 'em go, Doctor.
You heard what he said. We got what we wanted. That's all that matters.
We've got to be sure. Don't bother me now. I'm busy.
Esther, do you hear me? Come here now! G.J., we're standing...
on the brink of a new world and a new--
What is it you want? I heated the formula I gave to you--
Esther, what are you doing? Get that monkey down from there!
What'd you say? I heated the formula I gave to you last night.
It didn't do a-- He's fooled us again!
Well, don't stand there! Go and catch him!
Run after him! Go on! Get a policeman! Get two policemen!
When are you gonna stop tagging after me?
When I want to.
Well, why don't you go play with girls? Why can't I play with you?
I don't want you to, that's why. Oh!
Barnaby Fulton, I don't like you. Then go away.
I will not. So there.
Then don't go away.
Hmm!
I'll tell my mother.
Hmm.
Here's one for your mother.
I'll tell Hank Entwhistle.
Here's two for Hank Entwhistle.
Oh, now look what you've done!
I'm gonna tell Hank Entwhistle! Hey!
Leave that paintbrush here!
Crybaby!
[ Children Playfully Shouting War Cries ]
He's gonna be sorry for what he did.
Very, very sorry.
I'm gonna call Hank Entwhistle.
That's what I'll do.
I'll call Hank.
[ War Cries ]
Hmm! Hmm!
[ Edwina ] Hello?
I wanna speak to Hank Entwhistle, please.
[ Woman ] You mean Mr. Entwhistle? That's what I said.
Yes, ma'am. I'll show him. I'll--
Hello? Hello, Hank?
This is Edwina. Oh, hello, Edwina.
Would you come over to my house right away? What's the matter?
It's Barnaby.
He threw a whole bucket of paint all over me!
See?
What did you do? I didn't do a thing.
[ Hank ] He must've gone mad. Hmm!
[ Edwina ] I don't ever wanna see him again.
Now listen, Edwina. Are you gonna go through with it this time and really leave him?
Yes, I'm going to go away. Far, far away.
Hmm! I'm gonna go away and--
[ Mutters ]
Hello? Hello, Edwina? Edwina, what's the matter?
Huh? Oh. I don't know.
I just suddenly... feel very sleepy.
That's shock, Edwina. I saw a lot of it in the army.
Now just lie down and keep warm, and it'll go away in a few minutes, and I'll be right over.
Good-bye. Hmm, hmm, hmm!
[ War Cries ]
So he's comin' over here, huh? Hmm, hmm, hmm!
What'll I do to him?
That's what I'll do. I'll get my gang. I'll scalp him! Scalp him.
[ Yawns ] Hank Entwhistle.
You wait till you see what I do to him. Ha!
I'll scalp him, that's what I'm gonna do. Scalp him.
Oh, ra!
Ra, ra!
Big chief.
Big chief. I'll fix him. I'll show him.
[ War Cries ] Oh!
Why, Dr. Fulton! Shh!
I'm just getting this to scalp a man. Shh! What are you--
[ War Cries ]
The things some people think of.
Morning, Mrs. Brannigan. Morning.
You gonna be here for a while? Yeah, I should be another hour or so.
Would you mind watching Johnny? I have to go to market, and it's too much trouble to drag him.
Sure, I'll watch him for you. I won't be long.
All right. What? [ Coos ]
Come on, Johnny. Here we go.
Here. Now, there's a nice big yard for you to play in.
[ Coos ] You all right? Okay.
[ Chuckles, Hums ]
What do you want us to do with the bad man, Red Eagle?
Yeah, Red Eagle. Tell us.
Well, first we stop his car and then capture him. Then what do we do with him?
Let's tie him to a stake. And then burn him!
Yeah. Yeah, and burn him good!
That won't work. Who said that?
I did.
Oh, you. Why won't it work?
Somebody will stop us the minute we light a fire. They always do.
Yeah, that's right. What do you say, Red Eagle?
Well, let's tie him to a stake and scalp him. That's it.
You mean for real? Sure.
You can't scalp anybody unless you do a war dance first.
Oh. Well, just a minute. I'll-I'll-I'll remember that.
You two braves--
Can't scalp anybody unless you do a war dance first. Is that so?
He's right, Red Eagle. Well, we can scalp him, can't we?
You have to do a war dance first.
Do you know a war dance, Red Eagle?
Ah-- Well, sure.
How's that? That's no good. You gotta sing when you do it.
Oh. Oh, you gotta sing.
Well, all right, we'll sing.
Oh, you with the drum, give me a beat.
Uh, bum-bum-bum-bum. Bum-bum-- You sing.
* Me want a wampum *
You sing too.
* Me want a wampum * You go, "Ugh!"
* Me want a wampum Me want a wampum * Ugh! Ugh!
Ugga, ugga, gloop, gloop! Ugga, ugga, gloop, gloop!
Ugh! * Me want a wampum *
You go, "Ahi, ho, ho, ho."
* Ahi, ho, ho, ho * * Ahi, ho, ho, ho *
Ugh! * Me want a wampum *
* Scalp a paleface Scalp a paleface *
* Me want a wampum * Ugh!
Now you go, "Aho, ho, ho!"
* Aho, ho, ho *
[ Chanting Continues ]
[ Coos ]
* Di-di-di-di-di *
Barnaby!
Darling, speak to me! Say something!
Oh, my darl--
Operator! Operator, get a taxi, will you?
Uh, this is 1605 Gilcrest. Send a taxi right away. Emergency. Thank you.
Darling! Oh, darling!
Barnaby, are you trying to say something?
Well, speak to me.
Barnaby, I'm your wife.
Say something!
Oh, my poor husband. What have you done to yourself?
Driver, hurry. Please hurry. Yes, ma'am.
Right this way, mister.
Hello, kids.
[ All ] Hi.
Well, why did Mrs. Fulton say to meet her here?
She didn't say.
Was Mr. Fulton there? I mean, at the house?
He could've been. Oh, that's the reason. I see it now.
Mister, will you play with us?
We need a nice tall man to play maypole.
- Well, I'm sorry, but I haven't time now. - Don't you like children?
Of course I like children.
Why are you mean to 'em then?
I'm not mean to them. Don't you wanna make us happy?
Of course I do. Then play maypole.
All right, I'll play maypole with you if you'll go tell Mrs. Fulton I'm here.
Okay. You're very nice to play maypole with us.
Now you step right back here against this tree,
and hold this up real high.
All right. That's fine. Come on!
I thought you were gonna tell Mrs. Fulton.
- Can't I watch for a minute? - No. You promised you'd do it if I play maypole.
What was it I promised to tell her?
You tell her that I'm here. Now why don't you--
Hey, wait a minute! You're getting this too tight! I can't move!
You can come out now, Red Eagle!
[ Shouts ]
[ Chanting, Shouting ]
Fulton, have you gone stark raving out of your mind?
Oh, Mrs. Fulton, I have a message for you--
I'm sorry, but I don't have time. Mr. Oxly wants to see you.
Yes, and I wanna see him too.
Oh, Miss Laurel. Oh, for goodness sake.
Mr. Oxly? Mr. Oxly?
You've got to do something about Barnaby, and you've got to do it right away.
There, there, little girl. Now don't get excited.
Would you like some lemonade or a piece of candy? Oh, stop it, Mr. Oxly.
The formula has worn off. I'm not a little girl any longer.
It's Barnaby I'm talking about. What is he up to now?
You've got to save him. You've got to bring him back. I'm trying to.
I've got everyone, including half the police force, trying to find him.
Do you know where he is? He's right here in my arms.
Now, Mrs. Fulton, don't cry. Remember, you are the wife of a great scientist.
Oh, poor Barnaby. He was so brilliant.
Now look at him. It's a pretty baby. Is it yours?
Of course he is. I didn't know you had a child.
Mr. Oxly, this is Barnaby. What?
That's what I've been trying to tell you. This is my husband!
You mean the formula has gone too far, and this is the result?
Yes. I can't believe it.
Well, it's true, and you've got to do something about it!
By George! By George!
Oxly speaking. Yes, Oliver?
Prepare yourself for a shock, G.J.
Dr. Fulton's formula has backfired and turned him into a baby.
A complete idiot, huh? No, not an idiot. A baby.
An infant two feet tall. Don't talk rubbish, Oliver.
I'm not talking rubbish. I can see, can't I? I wonder.
We've got to find an antidote, and we can't do that until we know what was in the formula.
Just get the truth out of Fulton any way you can.
Well, come on in here and help me.
All right, now we've got to find out--
Shh. Mr. Oxly, he's trying to say something.
What are you trying to say, darling?
Well, go ahead, tell me. Please try.
Let me talk to him.
Barnaby, I'm going to speak to you very slowly...
so as not to confuse you.
But we're going to do everything we can to help you,
but you've got to help too.
You understand? Barnaby, please listen. Try hard.
This might help. Listen.
[ Chiming ] He remembers.
He wouldn't take it before, and now he will.
Barnaby, we can't find the antidote...
until we know the real formula.
Well, don't frighten him. I didn't say anything to frighten him.
He's being evasive again.
Barnaby, you lied to us about the missing ingredient.
Now, what is it? [ Coos ]
Oh, Mr. Oxly, he can't talk!
What are we going to do? We can't wait until he grows up.
I'll be dead. Yes, and when he's 20, think how old I'll be.
Well, Oliver, is that the brat you were talking about?
Yes, G.J. This is Dr. Fulton.
Don't you call my husband names!
Madam, what are you trying to put over on the Oxly Chemical Works?
Stop talking like a fool. I came here for help, and you are responsible.
Jerome, you were my husband's colleague. Can't you find an antidote?
I warned him. I warned him. This proves there are no boundaries to science.
You're all talking nonsense. That's no more Barnaby Fulton than I am.
I ought to know my own husband. [ Crying ]
Yes. Now look what you've done. You've made him cry.
That's all right, darling. Don't cry.
He's probably tired and sleepy. Yes. Sleepy?
Well, that'd be a sign that the formula's wearing off. That's the way it worked with me.
You mean, sleep might bring him back to normalcy? It did before.
Oh, bosh. Mrs. Fulton, where are you taking him?
To his laboratory, so that he can take a nap on his couch where he'll feel at home.
[ Chanting, Shouting ]
[ Mumbling ]
[ Chaos Continues ]
Hey, look!
Oh, jiggers! It's the cops!
Head for the hills! Head for the hills! [ Mumbling ]
Mr. Oxly, this is all I could--
Shh! This is all I could find.
Give it to Mrs. Fulton.
Mrs. Fulton, will this do?
Yes, thank you.
Oh, isn't he cute?
Miss Laurel. Keep your hands off of him, please.
I wasn't going to-- He's defenseless.
I can't have you touch him. He's got to get some sleep.
Yes, ma'am.
He doesn't seem sleepy now. Perhaps we should take a blood chemistry.
Shh! Please.
Will you please be quiet and give him a chance?
Yesterday when he took the formula,
he had to sleep before he became normal again.
And he's got to sleep, Mr. Oxly.
Sometimes I try counting sheep.
Well, I hardly think he--
Oh. I know what might do it.
Now. Now, listen, Barnaby.
* We're poor little lambs *
* Who have lost our way *
* Baa baa baa * Silly song.
* We're little black sheep *
* Who have gone astray *
* Baa baa baa **
By George, this waiting certainly takes it out of a man.
I need something.
Haven't got a drink around here, have you, Doctor?
But, Mr. Oxly, I don't drink. I didn't ask you that.
I asked you if you had anything to drink around here. For medicinal purposes--
No excuses. Just get it. Good idea.
Here's some glasses. I'll get some water.
Yes, I'd like a little water with mine.
- Will you have a drink, Mrs. Fulton? - No, thank you.
A drink comes in pretty handy sometimes. You bet.
Water, G.J.? Please. Thanks.
Well, here's how. Here we go.
Tastes kind of bitter, doesn't it? Yeah, it's strange.
Get rid of that before anyone else drinks it. Yes, sir.
I'll give you a hand. There's no excuse for having water like that around here.
Doctor, see that that cooler's cleaned out before it's used again.
Yes, Mr. Oxly.
[ Liquid Draining ]
[ Mutters ]
Well, who are you? I don't care who you are.
Just-Just move over. There's a good fellow.
Oh, I'm so sleepy.
[ Coos ] No, no, please. No familiarity.
Just-Just go to sleep.
[ Esther Grunting ]
Oh, Barnaby, darling.
Huh? Oh, Edwina?
I thought I'd lost you, and now there are two of you.
What do you mean, there are two of me?
I-I-I can't see. My glasses, you know.
Oh, your glasses. Wait a minute. Here they are, dear.
Oh, dear me. Oh, darling, are you all right?
Yes, thank you. I'm all right. Here.
- Who is this? - I don't know. I thought it was you.
Well, what do you mean you thought it was me? I don't understand.
Don't you remember? I carried you in here when you were a baby.
Oh, that's impossible. Well, don't you remember anything?
Well, sure. The last thing I--
I was scalping Hank Entwhistle. Oh, Barnaby.
[ Shouting ] What's that?
I don't know. Hey, you'd better take this.
Yes. Come on, sweetheart.
[ Shouting Continues ] You know, we oughta find out who that is.
Yes, indeed, we must.
[ Shouting ] Dr. Fulton, I'm so glad.
[ Both Shouting ]
What's going on? They've taken it. It was in the water.
What do you mean? The monkey mixed it.
[ Laughing, Shouting ] I'll get you!
I can make a monkey out of Rudolph! I'll get you!
Oh, what a job you've done!
No fair using hot water!
Hello, Barnaby! How are you, old boy?
I knew you'd pull out of it. Here's a contract for you, signed, sealed and delivered!
You're a genius, old boy!
Hey! I'll get even!
[ Shouting ]
You've got a fire hose there! What's the idea? [ Screeches ]
Get off of me! You're drowning me!
Oh, Miss Laurel! Come on in and join the party!
Come on in! Aah!
There he is! There's the man who did it to me!
Mr. Oxly, please! Aah!
Mr. Oxly, don't squirt me!
Barnaby, can you hear me?
Yes, dear. I've been thinking.
Uh-huh. I'm just beginning to.
I was wondering, if I had my choice...
of living these last three days over again,
what I'd say.
Oh, let's hear it. That interests me.
Well, we've got a new contract,
we've had a lot of excitement,
and we're going out on the town tonight, just the two of us.
That's funny. I can't hear you.
I didn't say anything anyway. I was just thinking.
I was thinking about you. Care to elaborate on that?
About your not being disappointed...
when you found out that it was Esther who'd invented the formula.
Mm-hmm. Your suspenders would look better up.
Imagine, the secret of youth, locked up in the head of a monkey.
Do you think they'll ever find out how to make it? I don't know.
They've got Esther working awfully hard.
Darling, why weren't you disappointed?
Well, I've got a new formula.
Barnaby, if you start that all over again, so help me, I'll--
Oh, I like that dress, yes.
Oh, you do? Uh-huh.
All right, what's the new formula?
Well, it doesn't come in packages or bottles.
You're old only when you forget you're young.
Come on, say some more. Hmm?
It's a word you keep in your heart,
a light you have in your eyes,
someone you hold in your arms.
My, I'm glad I'm going out with you tonight.
Come here.
Do you like my formula? Mm-hmm.
Makes you think, doesn't it?
I can do with a lot of that.
What time did you order the table?
Hmm?
== 字幕制作：掌上电脑 根据 SUB 转换 SRT ==
卡里，还没准备好
唔
片名：妙药春情
-巴纳比，你有钥匙.-啊？
嗯，找找吧，亲爱的
嗯
看一下第一个口袋. 你经常把它藏在那里
哦，是的. 哦，不过我没有把它藏起来
我放在那里才可以找到它. 在这里
你可以打开门廊的灯 并且关掉大厅里的灯吗？
关门，确保锁好了……
我去开车
我知道
哦，是你啊.进来吧
-巴纳比.-哈？
-我们要去参加舞会.-哦，是的
不快点的话，我们要迟到了
哦，对
现在我们重新来一次. 你带了钥匙
-嗯-嗯.-不是，在那个口袋
哦，没错.我特意放在那里
你要打开门廊的灯…
关掉大厅里的灯…
然后锁好门
-对.-那么，来吧，亲爱的
-巴纳比，你在想事情吗？ -唔？唔？
哦，是，是
里面很黑，不是吗？
那样好些
你在想什么？
哦，我们今天在实验室做的试验
他们证明了只有23%的药方…
被吸收
哦，药方
是的.唔，你知道那意味什么
那就是说73%完全是浪费的
七十三？剩下的怎么了？
不，不，不是73，77.我说了什么？
-七十七.-嗯
我猜那就是为什么…
它对我们在做试验的猩猩 不起什么作用的原因
我们把配方给它们 已经有两个多月了
唔，它肯定没有发挥它应起的作用
我想它已经很不错了
不，不
不，那就是麻烦所在. 它根本没做好
你告诉我的那个猴子怎么样？
-哦，你指鲁道夫. -他很老了，不是吗？
唔，鲁道夫大约--
唔，他的年龄相当人的84岁
哇，配方没有治好他的风湿病吗？
它没有令他的毛更亮吗？
-你不是说他好很多了吗？ -唔，稍微好点
嗯，那么，你想怎么样呢？
嗯，不应该这样的，埃德温娜
要怎么样你才会满意呢？
理论上来讲 它应该有更好的效果
我想到一个好方法 可以令它更容易吸收
-啊？-易吸收？吸--
-更容易被吸收.-哦，是的
我想刚才在门前的时候 我想到了一个好主意
我想，我只是想自己有个好主意罢了. 不过，又不见了
-好了，你会想起来的.-我不知道
你会想起来的
做化学家就是这么麻烦
你知道，你不能真正思考
你时常…
觉得被迫坐在那里盯着一张纸…
希望它会跟你说话 但是它从未说过
哦.那是新衣服吗？
嗯-嗯
哦，我喜欢.让我看看
我喜欢它那样突出来
-那是你吗？ -唔，你应该知道的
不是你
你这样的打扮应该去哪里的
对.好了，我很高兴你喜欢它
神圣之至
我们忘记了晚会.你干嘛不提醒我？
-我们不去了.-为什么不去？
唔，有很多原因
哦？
第一：当我和你跳舞时 我想你全心全意跟我跳
我不想你走神
我知道
你不是个经常心不在焉的教授……
但是，亲爱的 当你心不在焉时就跟傻瓜一样
没错，我承认
我不想别人看到你那个样子
好啦，来吧
坐下，放松一下，聪明点
嘿
-你知道，你很好. -你的鸡蛋怎么样？
怎么会说起鸡蛋呢？
你饿了，对吗？
我弄点东西给你吃……
打电话告诉汉克我们不来了
-你打电话给汉克了吗？ -嗯.他不在家
-我留言了.-哦
别告诉我你解决了配方问题
没有.没有.我在想其他的事情
你对这个舞会 不是期盼一个月了吗？
唔，亲爱的，我们不要再提它了
我知道.我只是想起
人们真古怪
人们什么？
他们自己没有过错 却变得越来越老
-唔，评论很深奥. -不是，他们确实老了
-他们遇到了一些事. -你是指我吗，巴纳比？
不是，我在考虑人类
很悲哀的群体
能拿一些汤碟给我吗，亲爱的？
如果你不觉得人类经历…
某些恐怖的变化…
你回想一下 在埃弗雷特温斯顿晚会的晚上
我想不起什么 埃弗雷特温斯顿晚会
你记得我们的蜜月吗？
-当然记得，亲爱的. -我希望你记得
唔，我们度蜜月回来的那个星期…
埃弗雷特温斯顿家邀请 我们去参加晚会
对不起，亲爱的 我不记得去过那里
我们没有去
没去？
哦，对了.现在我想起来了
我们呆在家里.就像今晚一样
埃德温娜，你知道 我就是在说那个
因为一个全然不同的原因 我们没有去那个晚会而留在家里
今晚我们因为一个 智力的原因而留在家里
我记得我们不想跟别人分享彼此
你是多么地甜美
你记得电话是怎么样不断地响着
连续响了好几个小时吗？
-记得吗？
我去开门
噢.你知道我的意思吧？
今晚我们要接很多电话
-你好，汉克.-你好
嘿，今晚不出去吗？
-没错.-为什么？
有时候有些事情比去舞会更重要
哦，天才又在工作了，哈？
我真为自己是律师而不是 化学家而感到高兴
-他呢？-在厨房
我有些事情要跟他说
他老是这样子
现在，看这边，双面人
怎么会想到今晚做事……
你明天一样可以做啊？
我拿点东西给你喝吧. 你会好受点的
你为什么不在日落前做个天才…
然后再做人呢？
因为我从不知道自己几时是天才
给你喝的
你不能在最后关头取消约会……
你的妻子穿上了新衣服 而我订好了桌子
真没道理
对啊，我想也是没道理
你在干嘛？
没什么，亲爱的.我想你最好坐下
啊？干嘛？
按照我说的做，你会明白我的意思
-冷吗？
我懂你的意思了
如今你们都没道理
不.我想恩威斯特先生生气了……
因为他今晚不能带你去舞会……
像他上次那样站在你的脚上跳舞
我当然没有预定桌子和订花……
只看你的脸
我并不期望你会那样做
坐下，你喝你的汤 汉克喝他的饮料
小心点.汤很烫.现在没事了吧？
我只能告诉你，福尔顿太太…
如果你不是聪明地 跟我结婚而是跟这个……
你就不会在厨房里烹饪
不会？那她在哪里烹饪？唔！
-巴纳比，你烫着了？ -我希望他烫着
-亲爱的，我跟告诉过你这汤很热. -别担心.他没感觉的
给，吃点面包.快吃. 亲爱的，说说话吧
-热.-我知道.吹凉它
热.只是一般的热.我从未想到
热可以令配方100%见效
亲爱的，你帮我解决了问题
-真的吗？-我很肯定
汉克，你知道刚才 发生什么事了吗？
他烫着了嘴
不是，笨蛋. 他刚刚解决了我们的未来
如果你们的未来取决于 判断一碟汤是热的--
嘿，等等.告诉他吧，亲爱的
如果我使这个配方有效的话 我将得到一份好工作
不用商业分配
不用在防滑带上或者 在无声爆米花袋子上工作了
-不是开玩笑吧？ -没错，一份到处奔走的职务
可以选择我自己的研究领域
跟全世界的教授交流意见 包括一个百分率
很好.好像应该庆祝一下
他们现在在舞会了 你们没理由呆在家里
不.我们呆在家里 不去埃弗雷特温斯顿的舞会
埃弗雷特温斯顿三年前 就离开了这个镇
-我们留在家，不去他的晚会
但是你不能呆在家里不去参加晚会 如果你--
-你们的电话响了.-哦，我知道
-要我去接吗？-不用，让它响吧
-很重要，是吗？-非常重要
我真搞不懂你们两人
请向埃弗雷特温斯顿 传达我们的歉意
说我们很抱歉
我听不明你们的语言 但是看得懂你们的动作
晚安，你们两个
-请等一下.-早上好
哦，福尔顿博士 奥斯里先生在办公室，他想见你
谢谢
-早上好，福尔顿博士. -早上好
你很早就来了？
哦，是的.奥斯里先生抱怨我迟到
所以我得很小心 在9：00前到达这里
奥斯里先生在讲电话.你坐吧？
很高兴我们有些时间可以聊聊
我有东西给你看
譬如？
-好极了吧？-你说什么？
你新发明的无缝丝袜
哦.N4-1醋酸纤维素计划
这对是做试验的袜子 工厂生产的第一对
-你不觉得自豪吗？-效果很好
我说.这袜子撕不烂钩不破
-我很熟悉这产品. -不管你怎么样试都弄不破
-你很吃惊吧，博士. -哦，没有.我不觉得吃惊
我对这种东西做过很多试验了
当然，我现在全部完成了
-哦，奥斯里先生. 福尔顿博士来了
-早上好，先生. -早上好.你可以进来了
-谢谢.-如果你不是太忙的话
呃，劳雷尔只是给我看看她的丝袜
-哦.嗯，请不要打扰.-好的，先生
-巴纳比，我想跟你谈谈. -好的，先生
我对你这个新实验非常感兴趣
事实上，我为之而感到兴奋
进展如何了？
我们的问题是要提高配方的功效
你知道，会很了不起的
我昨晚偶然发现一些东西 可能会有点帮助
好，好消息
哦，我想让你看看广告设计
我想听听你的意见
我们已经有点过早行动了 但是我想我们最好有所准备
唔一唔，为什么叫B-4？
B-4，“前和后”
强调青春的追逐
你明白吗？
嗯.这个鹰在干什么呢？
那是凤凰，一个神话中的鸟……
从时代的废墟中升起来
又成为年轻人追逐的对象
很高贵，但是很有力
你介意听听意见吗？
不介意.乐意之至
-我认为很糟糕.-从哪方面而言？
唔，很可怕又不准确
它意味着我们将给大家提供……
某种青春源泉，，毒品
难道它不会令人年轻吗？
奥斯里先生，我们用大量的成分……
我们知道，每一种成分 会达到某种有益的效果
唔？
取决于我们用那些成分的 哪种化合物……
以及使用的比例
从算术上说，我们可能找不到 正确的化合物……
或者正确的比例来达到 你所说的效果
-它会是一个奇迹. -你可以做到，朋友
-我告诉过你我不接电话
奥斯里先生 林藤博士打电话给你
我告诉他你很忙 但是他说有很重要的事
-他是谁？--我的新助手
哦，对了.等一下，劳雷尔小姐
叫人打印这个
-哦，奥斯里先生，我不能再试一次吗？ -这个非常重要
最好找人帮你打字
好的，先生
任何人都可以打字
-她说谁打电话给我？-林藤博士
哦，对了.喂，林藤博士吗？
是吗？我知道他不在那里
福尔顿博士跟我在一起
是一什么？
真的吗？什么反应？
哇，太棒了！我们马上到
来吧，巴纳比.你不知道自己 做了多么了不起的事
-来吧，劳雷尔小姐.太棒了. -太棒了？
沃查马博士打电话说你的 一只猴子绳子松了
我们要快点
他行动很怪异.显然是你配方的反应
我就知道你行，巴纳比.我知道
小心，奥斯里先生. 这只猴子变得很野蛮
-乖乖.-怎么了，杰罗姆？
我不太清楚，博士
我只知道他打开笼门……
动作很奇怪
放开他吧，男士们. 让我们看看他怎样活动
不要告诉他应该怎么做，先生
放开他！
看这老猩猩，劳雷尔小姐
八十四岁.比我大十四岁
-看他好了.-我在看，奥斯里先生
不可思议
鲁道夫，你现在下来
我不明白.你给他吃兴奋剂了？
只有配方.只有X-57，博士
我们昨天做的测试没有迹象--
像样点！你今天怎么了？
-鲁道夫，下来这里！-你很反常
-这不象是你
来吧.来吧
来吧，鲁道夫.乖点.下来这里
-好点了.-他在那里干什么？
笼里关着我们新的母猴子
太厉害了.太厉害了！
来这里. 奥斯里先生，你还没看够吗？
来这里
不对劲
让我看看能不能做点什么
-他喜欢你.-鲁道夫，镇定点
来吧，鲁道夫.乖.很好
做个乖孩子.听话.下来
来吧.好.跟我来.跟我来
好吧
镇定点，坐在那里.让我看看你.对
唔，男士们，我想我们看够了
我想单独跟福尔顿博士谈谈
巴纳比，如果你的配方 对人有同样有效的话……
那将会是现代科学中最伟大的事
坐下，鲁道夫
我们打算停止工厂其它的生产
我们只做B-4
我愿意做第一个尝试它的人
奥斯里先生，那可能会很危险
我非常乐意接受这个机会
哦.这不是鲁道夫
-什么？-不，不，不是
这个猩猩只有六个月大
鲁道夫是雄的.这是雌的
-巴纳比，你确定吗？-非常确定
-她穿了鲁道夫的上衣. -这是易斯特
这里，你可以按住易斯特吗？
瞧.我证明给你们看
现在，鲁道夫用了易斯特的号码
我想看门人给它们冲凉时 换错衣服了
对，嗯，所以才会发生那样的事
-我很失望. -我个人很高兴发生着这样的事
你对那个配方期望太高了……
那个B-4，奥斯里先生
可能是名字把你搞糊涂了
如果你可以让我在实验室 工作几个小时……
我能够更好证明配方可以做什么
你准备好时通知我
这些错误的警告不要再发生了
他们肯定赔偿. 他们肯定很吃不消
走吧，劳雷尔小姐
一天刚开始就这么荒谬了
希望不会更糟
钠
3，000毫克
-检查了
易斯特，保持安静
-噢！-你不喜欢我这样做吗？
喔-喔
-钼.-啊
-钼酸纳.-是
我们看看.每剂十分之四
三剂就是1，200毫克，对吗？
检查完
木瓜蛋白酶
三剂总共两千毫克吧？
检查完
唔，要工作了
杰罗姆，我们现在要冷藏这些基因 和加热这些东西
照现在的样子保留这些. 我们要用米勒博士的冷却器和恒温箱
我们要不要照常标志X-57呢？
不是，X-58，不是B-4
-早上好.-哦，格斯
猴子今早洗澡了吗？
怎么了？不见了一只吗？
-不，不是，格斯.-哎？
你今早给猴子洗澡了？
是的，当然啦
-唔，你把他们的衣服换错了. -哦，我换错了？
哦，非常抱歉，博士. 我马上去把它们换过来
你可以下午喂它们时再换
-但是不要再发生这样的事了. -不会的，先生.不会了
喔，喔，喔，喔
哦，安静
你已经给我带来够多麻烦了
嗨！成年人跟猴子玩
老鼠，兔子，豚鼠
-喔，喔，喔.-哪，猴子们
哦，哦，哦，哦.唷！
怎么回事？
哦，我的肩肘炎发作
唔，我希望配方可以减轻这种痛苦
-你打算自己喝吗？-当然啦
-为什么不让杰罗姆来试？ -我不敢试在杰罗姆身上
你们记得头发恢复器的事吧？
记得.我们最成功的实验之一
好了，不管怎样 我们学会了怎样去除头发
我们换个话题吧
嘿，嘿，嘿.你怎么出来了？
哈？听着，不管你是 易斯特还是鲁道夫
来.你马上回到笼里去
不，我不会抱你回去的.你走路吧
来吧.你做了什么，出来了？进去
进去.你是怎么出来的？
格斯.我想你等一下再照顾他
哦，我没有换他们，博士
易斯特出来了，我把她放回笼里
哦，我以为是我的错.我忘记上锁了
她把你的原料搞得有点乱
-我会收拾的，格斯.-好的
哦，什么都不用操心，杰罗姆
我很想试试这个
博士，你真的要喝这个？
自我实验跟所有较好的研究的 规章制度是相反的
杰罗姆，发明的历史……
是没有按规章办事的人的历史
唔，开始吧
为了X-58和更好的世界
嗯！唉，很苦
我得喝点水
哦，那个格斯
嗯
哦，水喝起来更苦
嗯，最好把这些放在一边
博士，理论上第一个反应会是什么？
-我不太清楚.-会延迟多长时间？
取决于吸收的时间
有可能--
嗯，有点晕
你有点脸红
可能是因为我本能的兴奋吧
嗯.150左右
咦，那就奇怪了
在混合物里没有东西 可以令心脏加速
你说你觉得晕？
事实上，我相信越来越严重了
嗯，我最好记录我的反应
脉搏：150.是吗？
150
越来越头晕
没有反胃
一种感觉，不同于……
一连串的小电击
-杰罗姆，杰罗姆，你在哪里？ -我在这
-怎么了？-我看不见.我盲了
-请继续记笔记.-不，这太严重了
按我说的去做.没有时间了. 我知道自己在做什么
如果有昏愦的话，我们得自己查找
现在，就记笔记
像一片云，一种非常特别的感觉
很浑浊，但是没有不适
事实上，有一种非常舒适的感觉
好像我--
博士，怎么了？
麻痹吗？你可以说话吗？
是的话敲一下，不是敲两下
你能听见我说话吗？ 博士，你能听见我说话吗？
很好.请把电话簿递给我
-你想要谁的电话号码？ -把电话簿给我
英助屋点滴铸造工具公司
1065西豪瑟大街……
英助屋西60945
不可能的
有可能，杰罗姆
十年以来我第一次……
可以不戴眼镜看东西
-视力非常好.-简直无法相信
那里.现在我又看不见了. 雾，你知道吗？
我又能看见了
博士，X-58看来成功了
哦，事实如此
-我试试看肩痛不痛.-哦！
哦，对不起
一点都不痛！
太神奇了
Dr.巴纳比福尔顿博士，让我跟…
下一个诺贝尔得主握握手吧
-太高兴了！
不要意思.我的电话
你好，水电部
你想切断谁的水电？
-喂？喂？-喂！
哦，巴纳比，听你的声音 好像配方成功了
进展顺利吧？
今晚有人举办舞会吗？ 我们又可以呆在家里了
哦，巴纳比.我不知道
哦，真遗憾
那么穿上你的新衣服 我们去庆祝一下
好的.我会准备好的
但是别忘了你要做的事
-首先，剪头发.-剪头发，是的
-然后买套新衣服.-新衣服，好的
哦，亲爱的 还有，顺便去一趟汽车行
皮博德刚才打电话来说 汽车很好卖
很好卖，嗯？好吧，再见
哦，笑话
-你真的没事吧？
我来接
你好，格里菲思动物园.蛇部门
-喂，喂.你是谁啊？ -有什么可以帮你的？
我是奥斯里先生
我看看他在不在
-不，我说，我是奥斯里.-谁啊？
-我是，讲.-哦，你是讲先生
是奥斯里先生在讲
奥斯里讲.跟奥斯里有什么关系？
-巴纳比福尔顿，是你吗？ -你是谁啊？
我是，巴纳比！
你不是巴纳比.我才是巴纳比. 我知道我是谁
-这是奥斯里，巴纳比！ -好了，真是荒谬
你不可以是三个人. 想清楚你是哪个人再复我电话
我马上下去你那里！
马上下来一他三个人
你要做什么？你会告诉他什么？
-我要走了.-你要去哪里？
-我有很多事要做.-什么？
我要去剪头发，买衣服还有汽车
但是奥斯里先生会生气的. 我应该跟他说什么好呢？
告诉他真相好了一 你不知道他是谁
我不能那样说
-就直接说好了.-但是，博士--
福尔顿博士在哪里？我想见他
-他刚走.-我在走廊没有遇到他
-他爬窗子走的.-爬窗子？
到底怎么回事？ 那个人发生什么事了？
他喝了一些配方 离开了这里，好像是--
不是，简直就跟20岁一样
太厉害了.太厉害了. 你知道他去哪里了吗？
-是的.先生.-喂.给我叫--
喂.赶快给我叫劳雷尔小姐来听
-他去了哪里？ -去买新汽车，先生
-他开什么车？-福特
喂，劳雷尔小姐.嗯，听着
我想你去镇上每一个 福特汽车销售点……
去找福尔顿博士
奥斯里先生 不过我应该先做什么好呢？
他会在汽车行
你要找他就一定要那里
-哦，我明白了，奥斯里先生. -带他回来这里
好的，先生.我马上去
好了，博士，我按照你的要求剪了
-我希望福尔顿太太会喜欢你的发型. -她会喜欢的
-你觉得怎样？-非常合身
福尔顿博士 但是你确定你要的是这件吗？
告诉我，别人有没有用裤子来搭配？
哦，很少.通常用灰色的法兰绒
我明白
哦！这对袜子跟衣服搭配
老实告诉你，福尔顿博士…
我觉得你跟福尔顿太太…
开这种车不会开心的
它不是你心目中的汽车
对，唔，你说的没错. 我们把挡泥板取下来吧
对不起，不可以，博士. 那样做是违背法律的
哦，太差劲了
你不是碰巧有个海狸尾式吧？ 我一
喂，劳雷尔小姐
哦，喂，福尔顿博士
你好！
你好
真高兴找到你
不，是我先发现你的. 选择一个手指
福尔顿博士！
哦，你知道那个.哦，真遗憾
奥斯里先生叫我来.他想马上见你
哦，好吧，上车吧.我很快送你去那里
-这是你的车吗？-是的
-哇，真是个宝贝
哦，皮博德先生…
你可以把我装衣服的盒子 从旧车里拿出来吗？
唔，准备好了吗？
-你启动了？-是你的吗？
博士，给你
谢谢，皮博德先生.把账单寄给我
-行.-要热身一下
我也是
好了，小心你的头. 其它的事我会小心.呼！
哦，福尔顿博士，真好玩
奥斯里先生怎么样？ 工厂在那后面
我知道.我们绕场一周
抓紧你的安全带，不准吸烟
-哦，博士！-看看板有没有下去
唔，博士，5点就可以修好 跟新的一样
5：00？哦，在那之前 我们可以做很多事
-是不是？-当然啦，博士
-来吧.-博士，你经常溜冰吗？
最近没有溜过.但是别担心. 我示范给你看
博士，小心！
小心点！
哦，我没事.我很快就可以滑好的
我将要溜得不错了. 你等着.哦，天啊！哇！
博士，很高啊
哦，不，对我来说不高. 唔，大家都在看我吗？
-听听音乐怎么样？-好的
你确实知道怎么样才能玩得开心
你知道吗？ 我以前以为你不喜欢我
-等一下. -你有没有一丁点儿喜欢我？
-等一下.-唔，你说啊
-我喜欢你. -博士，我喜欢死你了
哦，不，不.等等.听
-哦，很无聊---你不要关了它
-那是我们最喜欢的歌.-我们？
-是啊.埃德温娜跟我.-埃德温娜？
-我的妻子.-哦
男歌唱家们在狂欢
-雨露 -听起来好像是一首愚蠢的歌
你干嘛那样说话？
依我看来，这是一首愚蠢的歌
依我看来，你认为这是一首 愚蠢的歌的观点是愚蠢的观点
哦！
-天黑了？-不是，不是很黑
怎么了？
我的眼睛肯定有问题
博士，我有什么可以帮忙的？
不，没有，不用了. 只是我看不清楚罢了
-请别生我的气.-哦，我没有生气
因为我--
-你为什么叫喊？
因为--
没什么
-别生我的气.-哦，我没有生气啊
告诉我，工厂是沿着这条路走吗？
是的
你能不能告诉我在哪里拐弯？
拐右.现在
-拐弯，博士，拐弯！-现在？
是，拐弯！拐弯！
-博士！-你还好吧，劳雷尔小姐？
-我叫你拐弯.-是，是，我知道
非常抱歉，恐怕我看不见了
你可以帮我停车吗？
-当然可以.-谢谢
你好，福尔顿太太
晚上好，乔.谢谢你打电话给我
-博士在他办公室吗？ -是的，夫人
当我去告诉他你会来时 他已经去睡觉了……
所以我没有叫醒他
奥斯里先生知道博士回来了吗？
是的，夫人.他说会下来
谢谢，乔
唔？谁啊？
是我，亲爱的
哦，你好，埃德温娜.我看不见你
-你的眼镜呢？-让我想想
我把它落在实验室了. 杰罗姆可能把它收起来了
我帮你去找.哦，在这
-吆！-巴纳比
你真的没事？这里
哦.我只是有点看不清.现在几点了？
差不多8点了
哦，不.晚了吗？
哦，我又重做了. 我们原本要出去吃饭的
我已经吃过了 不过我带了东西给你吃
埃德温娜，很对不起.我原本一一
我知道你没吃，亲爱的
-你从哪里得来的狮子狗？ -狮子狗？
别告诉我说我买了一只狮子狗
-发型.-哦，对，那个，那个.哦，对
你买的上衣也很不错
是的，我知道
等你看我买的汽车
-不，哪一种？-你很快会看到的
亲爱的，你真是笨 竟然自己试配方
-会出事的.-哦，确实是
我是指，严重的事.给，喝点咖啡
谢谢.哦，哦.我全身肌肉酸痛
溜冰
你不会去了溜冰吧
我恐怕去了
你脸上出现了红点
哦，不是红点，亲爱的.那是唇印
哦
是的.埃德温娜 我告诉你的事令人难以置信
对，溜冰是难以置信.嗯，多么平衡
呃，我不是整个下午都在溜冰
很显然不是
不.你不会相信我做过的事
-我破纪录了.-啊？
你肯定会很吃惊. 我希望你当时也在场
我也希望我在场
我做了连做梦也没想到的事
你知道，我试跳水了
我失败了
哇，怪不得你这么累
巴纳比，这些事把我搞糊涂了
-配方怎么样？ -我正在跟你说那个啊
-哦.哦！-我从头跟你说起
今早11点52分……
我喝了一剂配方，在几分钟内…
我的举止就像一名大学生一样…
有20/20的视力，而且肩膀不痛了
还有很多唇印
嗯一呃，配方跟那没关系
我等一下就会说到那里
埃德温娜，我们已经发现……
人类一直以来在搜索的东西
巴纳比，你说真的吗？ 配方真的有效？
呃，它对我是有效
当然，我解释不了这些反应
好像对头脑起作用
埃德温娜，想象一下： 人们从不变老
听起来很恐怖. 你是指，配方真的如此吗？
呃一当然，我对它也是一知半解
我喝的药已经没什么药力了
我看看，8个小时
哦.很可能是要出错了
-呃，我们看看.-嘿，你去哪里？
我去再做一次实验……
不过这次用量更多
啊？哦！
开灯好吗，亲爱的？
巴纳比
你一定要再做测试吗？
哦，可能要做几个
我很高兴这次你在这里 看着就不会出错了
我想你观察并记下我所做的事
你这么了解我肯定能够明白……
我行为模式的准确意思
在试验之前 你不觉得应该换掉那件外套……
擦掉脸上的唇印吗？
-哦，是的.也许你说的对. -那是谁的唇印？
呃，她-她的-名字---你知道 奥斯里的秘书
哦.你指那个小美女？
-非常可爱.-有点，但是太小了
不易看见
呃，她不适合我
巴纳比，你要喝多少？
我已经倒出来了.我增加了药量
-瞧，那边，我要一
埃德温娜，你在干嘛？
你为什么要那样做？
因为它应该这样子
总之，你是科学家，应该你来研究
-但是-别争了
去拿笔记.我都已经做了
哦，很苦.给我点水喝
哦，那么，真的，埃德温娜. 老天爷保佑
另外，根据你的故事……
你喝了后就不是100%科学家了
变得对其它的事更感兴趣了
也许你说的没错
哦.连水都是苦的
我那时也觉得是
巴纳比，我有点害怕
-我在这里，亲爱的.-很傻，是吗？
我会照顾你的
我没什么感觉
-是不是应该马上见效？ -稍等一下
你能把脸弄干净吗？
因为如果我年轻了10岁 看见了那个唇印……
我很可能会把某人击倒
是，亲爱的
巴纳比，B-4的事是真的吗？
我刚才听到你最神奇的事. 配方有效吗？
你很快就有机会可以判断 奥斯里先生
我妻子刚才喝了50CC配方
真的吗？太厉害了，太厉害了
布鲁纳博士 和劳雷尔小姐正在赶来
留言叫他们马上来这里
福尔顿太太 太感谢你做这个试验了
谢谢你，奥斯里先生
呃，我们要观察你的反应，亲爱的
是的，我想是这样
现在我知道 可怜的小豚鼠的感受了
-我可以坐吗？-坐吧，亲爱的
别只站在那里.找点事做吧
是的，亲爱的
嗯
脉搏150左右，跟我以前一样
好像没有发烧
除了有点尴尬之外 我感觉非常好
巴纳比，你希望有什么反应？
我不太清楚
我想跟它是取决于个人的吧
在你身上试验时好像是 20岁一样
哦，没错.别动，埃德温娜
福尔顿太太在那个年龄 是怎么样的？
啊？
呃，埃德温娜是一个 非常认真的学生
她主修经济学……
参加过鱼类学和烹饪的暑期班
-鱼类学？-嗯，鱼类的学习
杰罗姆说你第一个症状是眼睛
你的视力变得非常好
没错，但是你不能指望那个
你知道吗 埃德温娜的视力已经很好了
很可能会出现完全不同的情况
亲爱的，你有没有觉得什么不妥？
没有.你呢，奥斯里先生？
哦，我没喝什么
哦，有，你有，奥斯里先生
你听见了吧，巴纳比？ 非常奇怪的反应
我们肯定可以很快等到结果
-我们当然可以. -她还是很安静地坐着
可能是运动量不够吧？
不过不够的话，很快就会有了
我等不及结果了
真难熬
就是了，奥斯里！ 看他，巴纳比！起作用了！
有效了. 你听见她说的话了吗，巴纳比？
见效了
-不对劲啊，巴纳比. -怎么回事，先生？
我不知道
可能是你太激动了
要不你坐下来吧，奥斯里先生. 让自己冷静一下，奥斯里先生
现在，慢慢来，奥斯里先生
好点.慢慢来，坐下
哦，哎呀
哦，哎呀.给我一块馅饼
啊-哎，给我一块馅饼
-我们现在得走了. -啊-哎，给我一块馅饼
-我们现在得走了.是. -我们现在得走了
-巴纳比，你干什么？ -我很快就回来
我们现在得走了
你好，福尔顿博士
-你好.-你跟她说了什么？
福尔顿太太，他说“你好”
我听见他说的话了 你这漂白过的小虫
埃德温娜，她没做过什么
我要把这女人的金发从根拔起
埃德温娜，跟我来. 劳雷尔小姐，请让开
-拔起来！拔起来！-埃德温娜，停
-奥斯里先生，我很快回来. -拔起来！拔起来！
难道不好玩吗？
你看见他跳起来吗？ 我放了条鱼在他裤子里
-我们回去，玩得更开心点. -我觉得不会更好玩
-为什么不会？我们去哪里？ -哪里都好
-我们去跳舞吧.-埃德温娜--
好吧，我们去跳舞.你说的算
哦，这是我们的新车？
-恐怕是的. -嘿，真是超级大骗子
-哦，你喜欢吗？ -哦，好家伙，喜欢！
嘿，为什么不让我来开车呢. 你坐那边，啊？
知道了
我们去皮克维兹跳舞
皮克维兹？
是的，在拉吉拉.难道你不记得了？
我当然记得
304房，我们在那里度蜜月
一直去？
是的，我们回家拿点东西
-岂不是很好玩？-只是去跳舞吗？
埃德温娜，我把袋子放在车上
我把你的外套放在--
巴纳比，我会不会穿得太保守了？
-呃，我---你觉得怎么样？
-呃，我---说说看
-呃，我--我很高兴你喜欢
我开车啦.你太慢了
怎样开？哦，对了，那样
哦，巴尼 我们又要再度蜜月了
-不用手！-是，是，是
蜜月不用手.是，没错
你不兴奋吗？
当然兴奋，亲爱的，但是不用急
你能不能开慢点我们说说话？
谁想说话？
好了，埃德温娜 我要测试你的反应
哦，巴尼！
哦，风吹着头发 真是太美妙了…
看月亮星星一一
-还要看路！-哦，看路
-先生，晚上好
-哦，晚上好.-你要登记吗？
是的
请问有没有可以 俯瞰大海的房间？
-嗯，有，先生.-谢谢你
-嘘！嘘！-你说什么？
-嘘！-哦
-304房是空的吗？-是的
-你知道，那是新婚的房间. -是的，我知道
嘘！
哦，是
你能否留言说我们不想被打扰？
好的，先生
-304.-来吧，亲爱的
-多谢.-是，不用谢
埃德温娜.埃德温娜，亲爱的
巴尼，听.我们不要浪费时间了
让他把行李拿上房间
亲爱的，现在11点了. 我今天很累
-哦，巴尼，你答应过我的. -哦，哦，哦，哦
把钥匙放在房间 把行李拿给我，我会--
我们是可怜的
迷路羔羊
吧--
巴尼.巴尼，别睡.这是我们的歌
哦.是的，亲爱的
我们是误入歧途的
小败类
-巴尼？-嗯？
我每次听这首歌，我就觉得--
亲爱的，我听着它就不会生气 不会不开心
我只想贴近你
是的，亲爱的
巴尼，跳华尔兹舞，跳华尔兹舞 跳华尔兹舞
是的，亲爱的
哦，不！不要！
吆！
哦，哦，来吧，埃德温娜
你去那里
哈-哈！啊！
-起来，埃德温娜
-现在，埃德温娜--
起来，埃德温娜.起来
帮我一把
哦！
啊，真好玩！巴尼，你试试
-我不试.-来吧，试试
哦，在那里
-请听我说，亲爱的.-我们到了
哦，我知道钥匙在哪里. 这里.你通常放在这里
-哦.-就在那里.看见吗？
-好的，我们开门.-真的吗？
开门.万岁
埃德温娜，你没有开始觉得累吗？
没有.为什么？你想去哪里吗？
哦，不，不，不是.你知道，我只是想
我-我应该做一些测试 检查你的血压和心跳
哦，巴纳比
不是今晚
嗯，埃德温娜，做这样的试验…
通常做--
-巴尼.-什么？
你确定你真的爱我吗？
呃，我当然爱你，亲爱的
你为什么这样问？
呃，我只是突然想到
那么，那样回答你的问题了吧？
你知道，我这么爱你 搞到我头晕目眩
-真的吗？-嗯
-什么时候开始的？ -从我第一次遇到你开始
不是，不是.我指头晕
哦，我不知道
这是我们的蜜月夜 我只关心这些
是的，亲爱的
巴尼.巴尼？你要做什么？
哦，我只是想换上睡衣
呃，唔，唔…
你不觉得在那里面换好点吗？
为什么？
呃，唔，呃，没-没事了
我-我把我的东西拿进浴室
看在老天的份上
我只需要几分钟时间
嗯.突然变得害羞了.最好记下来
我--
嗯
15分钟内
改变了几个跟以往 完全相反的行为方式
哦
埃德温娜？埃德温娜，你没事吧？
没事，亲爱的.我很快就出来
哦.好
哦，巴尼，我多么开心
怎么了？
怎么--
呃，怎么了，亲爱的？ 为什么哭啊？
我帮不了忙
呃，是因为我的所作所为吗？
不是
那么，是为什么呢？
我只是在想
想什么？
妈妈！
哦，妈妈.现在我懂了
不，你不懂
那么又是什么呢？
哦，我忍不住在想她今晚的感受
她从不喜欢你
呃，应该说，她也没有去努力
我尽力去讨好她
你怎么可以这么没感情？
她以前对我和我的未来 怀有多好的美梦
好了，她还可以拥有啊，不是吗？
不，她不能.她不能
埃德温娜 我们开车到这里来玩……
同时也在进行一个 很重要科学实验
我们不要因为愚蠢的 没事争吵而破坏了气氛
你不要叫我妈不是东西，
我没有叫你妈不是东西，，
你不要提高声音
我没有提高声音！
汉克恩威斯特不会……
为了一个女孩子 提到她母亲而生气
哦，老天爷
干嘛非得扯上汉克恩威斯特？
我只是提到汉克恩威斯特…
因为我妈妈非常喜欢她
他知道如何取得她的欢心
你讲汉克恩威斯特的名字
的方式有点不妥
每次你都气恼
你是不是很后悔没有嫁给他？
看是谁在说话！
艾维拉碧丽斯又怎么样？
哦，天啊.艾维拉碧丽斯？ 那是小学的事了
我知道.她是老师
我想那个米拉马克丽普 也在小学……
还有米丽英格斯…
那个你教了她三年 高尔夫球的人！
哦，对，你提醒了我. 我的轻击棒还在她那里呢
你还敢说起汉克恩威斯特…
他只是吻我一次而已
他吻你？
呃，你以前从没告诉我
你吻了汉克恩威斯特？
-我没说过！-哦--
我说，他吻了我！ 我从没吻过他！
-你说过.-我没说过！
不，不！我的眼镜
-你打我！你打我！ -哦，不，我没有！
你这讨厌的家伙！你畜生！
-你离开我房间！ -你真的得住手！
你出去！
哦，不要.埃德温娜，别闹了. 现在，说真的
哦，埃德温娜，现在真是荒唐. 你知道我看不见
-埃德温娜，请让我进去！
你知道我在走廊外面一一
哦，不，不.-哦，不
埃德温娜，有东西夹在门缝里
请让我进去
呃，那是你的错！
-请让我进去！-不要
嗯一哦，啊
那么，只有一种方法 可以让你了解了
哦，我知道了.埃德温娜？
埃德温娜，亲爱的，听我说
我们是可怜的
迷路羔羊
咩咩咩
埃德温娜，你在吗？
埃德温娜？埃德温娜，开门啊！
接线生！
现在，埃德温娜 我不能再呆在外面了
哦，好吧
噢，噢
噢，你锁上门了
嗯，是时候了
-现在，亲爱的 如果你乖乖合作的话一一-啊！
救命啊！警察！有人啊！
救命啊！警察！
哦，亲爱的
真希望哪里有电话
哦，可能这里有电话
嗯.在哪个角落会有电话
不.噢
哇啊！
哦，我在哪？啊！
哟！
哦，让我进去，埃德温娜.让我进去
钥匙在车上，夫人
-好的.谢谢你.-谢谢
-怎么样，先生？还好吧？ -哦，是的，谢谢你们
巴纳比！哦，我可怜的宝贝！
哦，埃德温娜，是你吗？
亲爱的，我四处找你
-你在这里干什么？ -从洗衣房里出来
这两名女士好心帮我忙
谢谢你们两位. 我很快就会没事的
-我们很高兴帮你. -几时都可以，先生
我希望不会有下次
巴纳比，你要不要进去旅馆换衣服？
哦，不用了.请带我离开这里吧
-带我回家.-好吧，车就在那边
你怎么会在洗衣房里？
嗯，我不知道.我想是飞进去的
小心走路
我没有戴眼镜
是的，我知道.我踩到了
-给，你最好穿上这个.-为什么？
-因为你可能会感冒.-哦
好了.现在那里.上车
哦，--哈
你没事吧？
没事，谢谢你，亲爱的.你呢？
没事.配方已经没有药力了
我们不要说了
放松一下，回家途中睡一觉吧
好的，亲爱的
-亲爱的？-嗯？
我们到家了.醒醒
哦，好，好，好
-哦.-我帮你
你知道吗？ 我刚才做了一个关于汉克的怪梦
你吻了他，是真的吗？
-当然不是啦. -亲爱的，那真无聊
哦，我想起来了
我昨晚做了很糟糕的事 我忘了告诉你
嘿
-那是谁？-别动
-你懂吗？-是
-福尔顿博士？-是的
我们是新闻界的. 我们想要你的声明
怎样？
我们接到你的律师 恩威斯特先生的电话
我真希望汉克没有把我们工作的事 发布给新闻界
-博士，告诉我们整个故事. -巴尼，我觉得--
亲爱的，我-我不能对男士们无礼
在完成所有实验之前我无话可说
-是不是有另一个女人？ -不，没有其他女人
目前为止，我妻子是我 唯一的受害者
我告诉你们一个更好的故事……
当我试验完其他的十几 或二十个之后
我暂时还不想在人身上试
-我会依靠猩猩.-对吗？
等一下，巴尼
你一你们在谈两码事
呃，发生什么事了，博士？ 你的妻子侵吞了你的爱巢吗？
不要回答，巴尼. 你不知道他的意思
你不要保护他. 这对我们这边有利
你在这里干什么？
-小心.进去. -别这样，福尔顿太太
-这就是我所得到的故事. -你们只拿到那么多
你怎么想到向新闻界发布？
你别假装不知道原因
我在门廊想告诉你的 但是你没有--
你很清楚原因，别假装不知道
-昨晚在旅馆发生的事. -离远点
如果你伤害她，我不会放过你
汉克，你可以住嘴回家去吗？
巴纳比，我试过了一一妈妈！
-咦！-哦，不
埃德温娜，汉克告诉我了
希望你没有受伤
-妈妈，你不了解情况. -大家在说什么？
你离她远点，你这个打老婆的人！
妈妈，事情不是你想的那般. 哦，都是我的错
-我不会让你原谅他的. -汉克，请你住嘴好吗？
-埃德温娜，汉克说的对. -你也是，妈妈！
-作为你的律师和朋友一一 -汉克，你走吧
-但是这是我的职责 没你的事了
-但是你告诉我说-- -我知道我跟你说过
如果你不想的话，你干嘛叫我--
我打电话给你吧.现在走吧
你们两个听着
不，你们听我说
我不会让你毁了自己的后半生
你们可以告诉我发 生什么事了吗？
如果你可以给我--
哦，我就知道迟早 会发生这样的事
-埃德温娜，告诉我---肃静
妈妈，我帮巴纳比做实验…
试了一个新配方
由于药力的原因 造成这这些麻烦
哦.哦，你---你说你 打了电话给汉克？
是的，亲爱的 你走了后我打了电话
很对不起，但是我也没办法
哦，好了 我想实际上那不是你的错
哦，不要让他再控制你
做点事，做什么都好，但是不要--
-我-我亲爱的岳母大人. -怎么了？
现在，七年以来我都没有 对你发过脾气
不要玩弄你的运气
好吧，我们文明点吧
呃，那就好.管好你自己，住嘴吧！
你可以开车送我去工厂吗 埃德温娜？
-立即？-是的，是的
我一穿上衣服就……
去收拾我们生活中的残局
-呃，我-- -妈妈，我觉得你最好安静点
-你好，杰罗姆. -啊，早上好，福尔顿太太
博士，我昨晚到处找你
请等一下，杰罗姆
我想暂时单独用这间实验室
哦，好的.很好，博士
埃德温娜，我的备用眼镜 在桌子最上面的抽屉里
-你能帮忙拿给我吗？ -当然可以，亲爱的
这里？哦，没错.在这里
亲爱的，你很苛刻
你是在生我昨晚的气吗？
埃德温娜，我认真考虑过了……
我几乎得出一个结论
我想毁掉配方
毁掉它？那么你是在生气
哦，我心情已经好点了
如果我拿面包喝咖啡给你 你会好受点吗？
你还没有吃过面包，你记得吗？
是的，谢谢.我饿了
唔，咖啡和咖啡壶在那边
你可以用杰罗姆用的这个插头
好的
你知道，我决定……
配方是最不可靠的发明……
跟止痒粉几乎同样有用
哦，我不认为
它治好了你的肩痛 又提高了你的视力
我得说，他令你感觉年轻
唔！
我开始好奇人们所吹捧的……
是否就是变年轻
青春的梦想
我们把它当作是 夜莺和情人来记住……
事实是什么？
不良反应，几乎白痴 一系列的滑稽的灾难
那就是青春. 我不知道人们怎样熬过来
-现在，埃德温娜？
告诉我一些事，因为我为此操心
-什么事，亲爱的？ -你为什么想离婚？
哦，巴纳比.不是我
是那药.你应该了解的
哦，我知道那是药造成的
造成什么？
唔，潜意识里讨厌我
潜意识讨厌你？
哦，我爱你，傻瓜
我怎么知道没有隐藏的
你没有意识到的憎恨呢？
呃，我当然没有意识到……
我想，你真是坏，说那样的话
等一下
你为什么老是提到汉克恩威斯特？
-哦，胡说.-你爱他吗？
真荒唐
我不知道.你吻了他，不是吗？
你就不能不想这些吗？
-不，我不能.-唔，好吧
你爱上了这个，呃，谁啊？
当然没有
呃，你溜冰时跟她接吻
我想问，你内心的厌恶 或者下意识的不满意……
或者你想说的什么都好……
令你跟那个小美人在镇上到处玩？
跳水，像个一一
呃，继续
哦，巴纳比
别说了，亲爱的，我也不说了
我们不该打架…
不该对我们的婚姻有怀疑
-不对.-呃，我就是这么想的
所以我才想破坏那配方
哦，那么，真是的.你哭了？
嗯
你确定要扔掉两年来的 劳动结晶吗？
是的，没错.可惜它仍在我脑里
我要忘记它
太危险了.完全无法预测
哦，不.请不要
不要用这个水.你看不到标记吗？
用饮水机里煮过的水
煮多点咖啡.我今早要喝很多
就是那个
喂？我是奥斯里先生
哦，奥斯里先生 -福尔顿博士现在在工厂
他刚才和福尔顿太太来了
-真的吗？-是的，先生
呃，福尔顿太太怎么样？她正常吗？
呃，她没有打我的意图 但不是很礼貌
-她说---没关系
嗯，听好，劳雷尔小姐. 你别让他们走了
如果他们要走的话 叫门卫拦住他们
-你明白了吗？-明白，先生
通知工厂全部董事……
我想马上在会议室见他们
-我马上就到.-好的，先生
啊，咖啡味道很怪.苦的
对，我注意到了.这不是咖啡
这是药的余波.嗯.药
我真傻，昨晚竟然让你喝那药
-呃，你也没办法.-嗯
-嘿，你喝第三杯了.-我知道
你在喝第二杯，不是吗？
-是的.-好
你是否服药过量了呢？
-可能是吧.不，我是指你喝太多了
你知道，那是很有逻辑的……
假定你变得年轻了
你记得奥斯里到处跳吗？
是的
啊，我再见到他时 会很不好意思的.嗯！
你觉得它令你有多年轻……
如果你喝了一整杯？
哦，不知道
12，10，5--
可能甚至会把你变成婴儿
-哈-哈
我在想你不会说话……
或者不会自己吃东西
可能会令人很尴尬
是的，难道不可能吗？
呃，你知道那是有可能发生的
-啊！嘀-嗒.我来接
喂？你好！
喂，你找到那条鱼了吗？ 你怎么处置他了？
哈！是的，我很好
他在这里，你稍等.是老奥斯里
你在想什么？哈哈哈
巴纳比，你跟你妻子 能马上见我吗？
我们正在这里喝咖啡
-我要去会议室.-我们会去那里
请放回去.请放回去
有其它吩咐吗？上去
-早上好，男士们
福尔顿博士很快就来 大家请坐好
我们得马上行动
你们知道为什么而来…
跟福尔顿博士商量配方的事
投入的金钱，我说出来吧 停止开支
是的，但是作为董事会的主席
我想指出福尔顿的发明 耗我们的时间
我有坏消息告诉你，G.J. 我们没有配方
-什么？-昨晚，林藤博士--
-林藤博士. -林藤博士，福尔顿博士的助手
带给我一剂配方，我喝了
我说不出来 我多么急切地等结果
但是没有结果
根本就没有反应
某某博士带给我的配方 是还没有完成的
如今，肯定有其它……
他不知道的成分
福尔顿博士记录下来了……
他的笔记里没有告诉我们 这是什么
没有那个成分，我们无能为力
不能保持完整的纪录 是违反组织的规则的
福尔顿知道的. 他在公司干了10年
可能不是故意失败的
-福尔顿跟昨天不同. -不同，肯定不同
呃，我们希望现在是他自己
毫无疑问
我们在应付一名 健全的成年科学家
我估计没问题
咦？
好吧，奥利弗，如果你想的话 就继续吧.你抓主意
我不知道是什么令他们这样子
-博士，你可以看一下吗？ -好的，先生
嗯.呃--
哦，巴纳比，福尔顿太太，进来吧
嗯，怎么了？不，进来吧
福尔顿太太，昨晚的事就算了吧
-我保证我忘了.进来.是，是
你们这些家伙一直在做实验，对吗？
我相信你认识在座的各位
是的.来吧.你去那里
-坐下.谢谢
自便把
哦，福尔顿太太，你坐这里吧？
我一定得坐吗？
-不.-我想坐在这里
好吧
巴纳比，我代表在座的各位说话
我认为你是现代科学中的一位伟人
那么，今天我叫你来这里……
讨论你的配方的销售问题
-我们的组织--
我们的组织准备给你一份股份
这个收入足以令你跟福尔顿太太--
令你跟福尔顿太太 舒适地过完下半生
那么问题是，你想要多少钱？
嗯
-巴纳比？
我说，你要多少钱？
多少钱？哦
-说个数吧.-一亿万美金
-什么-他说多少钱？
一亿万美金. 那是一百万个万亿
-太厉害了，他又喝了！-显然是的
看这里，福尔顿
首先，你的发明是我们的财富
-现在放松点. -我们可以一分钱都不给你
哦，我希望我有五分镍币
福尔顿，我会把你赶出化学工业！
-你在跟一个小孩子说话，G.J. -别开玩笑了
-他不是小孩. -哦，你说什么.举起手来！
喂，给我点东西. 把我肩膀上的东西拿开
巴纳比，你几时发疯了 我们不打架，是吗？
-不，我们打. -他们在学校没有教你
唔，谁在乎一一你好！
你好，福尔顿博士
-你是来跟我玩的吗？ -不是，我来告诉奥斯里先生--
没关系，劳雷尔小姐. 我觉得你最好离开
不，不，不.我想她留下来陪我玩
好吧，如果我让她留下来……
你能告诉我你配方里 不见的成分吗？
-是的，是的！-好吧，继续
'呃，呃.好吧，现在 -现在说吓坏，
-吓坏.-现在说棉纸，
-棉纸.-那么快速一起说
-吓坏面纸.-不！
-真大胆！-哦，好呀，好呀！
-为什么，劳雷尔小姐-- -真是的，奥斯--
-但是我不-难道不是你做的. 哦！你也是！
我成功了！我弹到她了！ 我射中她了！
哦，你搞砸了！
你见到她逃跑了吗？ 她是只受惊的猫！
好了，女孩子，你别闹了！ 听见了吗？住手！
-你来这边
你乖乖坐在椅子上
-你明白吗？乖！是的，先生
-那么，巴纳比？
-巴纳比？巴纳比，你在哪里？ -他在桌子下
巴纳比，你在那下面做什么？
-给易斯特搔痒
出来吧.我想跟你谈谈
我不想谈了
G.J.，我们在对付一个10岁的人
我们要迁就他.没有办法
如果你这么说的话，奥利弗
好了，下来帮我！别只站在那里！
巴纳比？-巴纳比，我想跟你谈
-你想胳肢易斯特？她喜欢. -不，不，不，不
你想要…
一块属于自己的金表和链子吗？
-哦.-你喜欢吗，巴纳比？
-我已经有一块了. -跟这个不一样
不，不，我不要
那么，你想要一辆新自行车 或者一匹小马吗？
你觉得怎么样？
哦.我要为它做些什么？
你只要告诉我们是什么成分…
你放进配方里的东西
哦.哦
那么，你答应给我一万亿美金 和一个五分镍币
-我们会给你一万亿美金. -和一枚五分镍币
还有一条摩托艇 还有一匹新小马
-好的，你喜欢吗？-什么时候？
只要你告诉我们你在配方里…
加了什么成分
哦，很简单.我只加了一一
哦！看--
巴纳比！巴纳比！ -你不告诉我们吗，巴纳比？
-你写那个干什么？ -因为它是真的，真的！
-不是，你要擦掉它！一我不擦！
巴纳比 你答应过给我们那种成分！
-你拿我没办法！是的，我有！
-巴纳比！拦住她！
-你以大欺小！我告诉我妈妈！ -拦住她！
-巴纳比，你捉不到我！ -你们为什么不帮我抓住她？
-如果我们抓到她，你会告诉我们吗？ -当然啦！
-某某人，拦住她！抓住她！-住手！ 国王是X！
-这是什么？-热！
我把混合物加热到华式150度！
太厉害了，我们得到了！
不公平！不公平！
-我抓到你了.来，擦掉它. -不，我不擦！
-不，你要擦！-你弄疼我了！ 放开我！
哭鼻子！你擦掉它一一啊！
易斯特，你在上面干什么？
-马上下来. -奥斯里先生，他们走了！
让他们走吧，博士. 你听见他说的话了
我们得到了想要的东西. 其它的事没所谓了
-我们要确定. -别烦我.我很忙
易斯特，来！
GJ.，我们站在新世界的边缘--
-怎么了？ -我给你的配方加热过了--
把那猴子弄下来！你说什么？
我昨晚给你的药加热了
-它没有---他又耍我们！
好了，别站在那里！去抓住他！
跟着他！走吧！-警察来！ 叫两个警察！
你几时可以不跟着我？
到我想不跟你时
-你为什么不跟女孩子玩？ -为什么我不能跟你玩？
我不想跟你玩，就是这个原因.噢！
-巴纳比.福尔顿，我讨厌你. -那么你走开吧
我不走
那么就别走开
哼！
我告诉我妈妈
哼
这是给你妈妈的
我告诉汉克恩威斯特
这两刷是给汉克恩威斯特的
噢，看你做的好事！
-我要告诉汉克恩威斯特！-嘿！
把漆刷留下！
哭鼻子！
他会为自己做过的事后悔的
非常，非常后悔
我要打电话给汉克恩威斯特
那是我要做的事
我打电话给汉克
哼！哼！
喂？
请找汉克恩威斯特
-你找恩威斯特先生？ -那就是我说的话
-好的，夫人.-我要给他看.我会--
-喂？-喂，汉克？
-我是埃德温娜. -哦，你好，埃德温娜
你能马上来我家吗？
怎么回事？
是巴纳比
他把整桶油漆泼到我身上！
知道吗？
-你做了什么事？-我什么也没做
-嗯！-他肯定是发疯
我不想再见他了
埃德温娜，你这次想清楚了 真的要离开他吗？
是的，我要走啦. 走得远远的，远远的
-嗯！-我要走了
喂？喂，埃德温娜？ -埃德温娜，怎么了？
哈？哦
我只是突然觉得很累
你受惊了，埃德温娜. -我经常在军队看到这种事
现在你躺下，保持温暖 会快就会没事……
我马上就来
-再见.-砰，砰，砰！
他要来这里，啊？嗯，嗯，嗯！
我该怎么对付他？
我要那样做.我叫一帮人来. 我剥他的皮！剥他的皮
汉克恩威斯特
你等着瞧，看我怎么对付他.哈！
我要做的是，剥他的皮.剥他的皮
哦，啦！
啦，啦！
大首领
大首领.我要修理他. 我给他点颜色看看
哦！
-哇，福尔顿博士！-嘘！
我拿这个来剥人皮
-你在干---嘘！
只有某些人才会想到的事
-早上好，巴吉太太.-早上好
-你等一下还在这里吗？ -是的，我大约在这里呆多一个小时
你能帮我看着约翰吗？
我要去一趟市场，带他去很麻烦
-当然可以，我帮你照顾他. -我不会去很久的
-好的.什么？
来吧，约翰.我们走
来，给个大院子你玩
-你没事吧？好吧
你想让我们怎么 对付那个坏蛋，红鹰？
是的，红鹰.告诉我们
呃，我们先截住他的车 然后抓住他
然后我们怎么处置他？
-我们把他绑在树上. -然后烧他！
-是.-是，好好烧他！
-没用的.-谁说的？
我
哦，你啊.为什么没用？
我们一点火别人就会阻止我们的
他们通常那样
-是的，没错.-你说呢，红鹰？
呃，我们把他绑在树上 剥他的皮.就这样
-你说真的？-当然啦
你不能剥人的皮 除非你先跳战地舞
哦.那么，等一下. 我-我-我会记得的
你们两个勇敢的--
你不能剥人的皮 除非你先跳战地舞
-他说的对，红鹰. -那么，我们可以剥他的皮吧？
你要先跳战地舞
红鹰，你知道战地舞吗？
啊一呃，当然啦
不好.你跳时要唱歌
哦.哦，你要唱歌
好吧，好吧，我们唱歌
哦，你有鼓，帮我打鼓
呃，砰-砰-砰-砰.砰-砰一你唱啊
我要钱
-我要钱-你也唱
-我要钱-你来，“啊！”
-我要钱-啊！
啊加，啊加，歌路，歌路！ 啊加，啊加，歌路，歌路！
-啊加，啊加，歌路，歌路！啊！ -我要钱
你来，“哎呀，吼，吼，吼”
-哎呀，吼，吼，吼 -哎呀，吼，吼，吼
啊！我要钱
-剥白脸皮-剥白脸皮
-我要钱-啊！
到你，-“哎，吼，吼！”
哎，吼，吼，吼
-哎，吼，吼，-哎，吼，吼
嘀-嘀-嘀-嘀-嘀
巴纳比！
亲爱的，跟我说话！说啊！
哦，我亲爱的--
接线生！ 接线生，帮我叫出租车好吗？
嗯，这是1605吉尔雷斯特街
马上帮我叫出租车. 有急事.谢谢你
亲爱的！哦，亲爱的！
巴纳比，你想说什么吗？
呃，跟我说话啊
巴纳比，我是你妻子
说话啊！
哦，我可怜的丈夫. 你对自己做了什么事？
-司机，快点.请开快点.-好的，夫人
就在这边，先生
你们好，孩子们
你好
呃，福尔顿太太为什么 说在这里见她？
她没说
福尔顿先生在那里吗？ 我是指，在屋子里吗？
-他很可能在.-哦，那就是原因. 我现在明白了
先生，你跟我们玩好吗？
我们需要一个个子高的好人 来玩五月柱
呃，不好意思，我现在没时间
难道你不喜欢小孩子？
我当然喜欢孩子
那么你的态度为什么这么差？
-我没有. -难道你不想让我们开心吗？
-我当然想.-那么就玩五月柱吧
好吧，我跟你们玩五月柱……
如果你们去告诉福尔顿太太 我在这里的话
-好的.-你真好人 跟我们玩五月柱
那么你退回这里，背对着树……
拿高这个
-好吧.-好.来吧！
我想你该去告诉福尔顿太太
我就不能看一下吗？
不.你答应过我去做的 如果我玩五月柱的话
我答应过告诉她这个了吗？
你告诉她我在这里.你干嘛不？
你们绑得太紧了！我动不了！
你可以出来了，红鹰！
福尔顿，你完全疯了吗？
哦，福尔顿太太 我有留言给你--
-对不起，我没有时间. -奥斯里先生想见你
是的，我也想见他
哦，劳雷尔小姐.哦，天啊
奥斯里先生？奥斯里先生？
你现在该为巴纳比做点事了
那里，那里，小女孩.别激动
你要喝点柠檬水 或者吃点糖果吗？
哦，别这样，奥斯里先生.别这样
药力失效了.我不再是小女孩了
-我在谈巴纳比-他现在怎么样？
你要救他.你要把他带回来
我在尽力
我叫大家 包括一半的警力去找他
-你知道他在哪里吗？ -他就在我怀里
福尔顿太太，不要哭
记住，你是伟大科学家的妻子
哦，可怜的巴纳比.他这么聪明
-看看他. -很可爱的孩子.是你的吗？
-他当然可爱. -我不知道你有孩子
-奥斯里先生，这是巴纳比.-什么？
我就是要跟你说这个.这是我丈夫！
你是说药力太厉害了，这是结果吗？
-是的.-真不敢相信
呃，是真的.你要帮帮忙！
太厉害了！太厉害了！
-我是奥斯里.-是的，奥利弗？
准备听个天大的消息吧，G.J
福尔顿博士的药方太厉害了 把他变成了婴儿
-完全是个白痴，对吗？ -不，不是白痴.一个婴儿
-一个两英尺高的婴儿. -别胡说八道了，奥利弗
我不是胡说. 难道我不可以用眼看吗？
我不知道
我们要找个矫正的方法…
我们没有办法除非 知道药方是什么
用什么方法都好 叫福尔顿讲出来
呃，进来帮我吧
好的，现在我们要找出一
嘘.奥斯里先生，他有话要说了
你想说什么，亲爱的？
呃，继续，告诉我.试试看
让我跟他说
巴纳比，我慢慢跟你说……
来不会把你搞糊涂
我们想尽力帮你……
但是我们也需要帮忙
-你知道吗？ -巴纳比，请听着.加油
这可能有些帮助.听
-他记得
他以前不会接受，现在会了
巴纳比，我们找不到解决的方法
直到我们知道真正的药方
-呃，别吓着他.-我没有恐吓他
他又在逃避了
巴纳比，关于不见的成分 你骗我们
-那么，这是什么？
哦，奥斯里先生，他不能说话！
我们该怎么办？ 我们不能等到他长大吧
那时我已不在人世了
是啊，当他20岁时 你想我有多老了
呃，奥利弗， 那就是你说的那个小子吗？
是的，G.J.这是福尔顿博士
你们不要叫我丈夫的名字！
夫人，你想怎么样解释奥斯里的 化学成果？
别说傻话了
我来这里寻求帮助，你要负责任
杰罗姆，你是我丈夫的同事
难道你找不到解药吗？
我警告过他.我警告过他
这证明了科学无边界
你们都在胡说. 没人比我跟了解福尔顿
我知道自己的丈夫
看你做的好事.你把他弄哭了
没事了，亲爱的.不要哭
-他可能又累又想睡觉了. -是的.想睡觉？
呃，那可能是药力失效的迹象
我当时也是那样的
-睡觉可能可以让他恢复原型？ -以前可以
-哦，胡说. -福尔顿太太，你带他去哪里？
去他的实验室…
让他在睡椅上小睡一会 他会觉得像家里一样
嘿，看！
哦，小心！是警察！
去山上！赶快去山上！
-奥斯里先生，我只能一-嘘！
-我只能找到这些. -给福尔顿太太
福尔顿太太，这有用吗？
是的，谢谢
哦，他不是很可爱吗？
劳雷尔小姐.请把你的手拿开
-我想要---他毫无防备
我不能让你碰他.他要睡一下
是的，夫人
他现在好像不想睡觉
或许我们应该测试血液
嘘！请安静
你们可以安静点 给他一个机会吗？
昨天他喝药时……
在恢复正常时他要睡觉
他要睡觉，奥斯里先生
有时候试着数绵羊
呃，我几乎想不到他--
哦.我知道怎么做了
现在，听着，巴纳比
我们是可怜的
迷路的羔羊
-咩咩咩-愚蠢的歌
我们是误入歧途的
小败家子
咩咩咩
太厉害了，这种等待真难熬
我需要喝一些东西
这里没有喝的吗，博士？
-奥斯里先生，我不喝酒. -我没叫你喝
我问你这里有没有东西喝
呃，由于药的原因--
-不要找借口.去拿吧.-好主意
-这里有些杯子.-我要一些水
是的，我也要一些水
-你要喝点吗，福尔顿太太？ -不用了，谢谢
-有时候喝的东西随手可得 -你打赌
-水，G.J.？-给.谢谢
-呃，就这样.-我们开始
-水有点苦，不是吗？-是的，很怪
倒了它吧，别让别人喝了
-是的，先生.-我帮你忙
在这附近喝这样的水 真是不可原谅
博士，在使用前看看那饮水机 是否干净
是的，奥斯里先生
呃，你是谁？ 我才不管你是谁呢
挪开点.有个好家伙
哦，我太困了
-不，请不要.跟你又不熟
去睡觉好了
噢，巴纳比，亲爱的
哈？噢，埃德温娜？
我还以为我失去你 而现在却有两个你
你是说什么？有两个我？
我一我看不见. 你知道，我的眼镜
哦，你的眼镜.等一下. 亲爱的，在这里
-噢，我的天.-噢，亲爱的你没事吧？
-我没事，谢谢你.-这里
这是谁？
我不知道.我还以为是你
哦，你这话是什么意思？
-我不明白.-难道你不记得？
当你还是个婴儿的时候 我把你带到这里
-噢，不可能. -难道你什么都不记得？
当然不会.最后那次我--
-我正在剥汗克.恩威斯特的皮. -噢，巴纳比
--那是什么？
-我不知道.-嘿，你最好带上这个
好的.来吧，我的甜心
我们必须找出那是谁
是的，一定要
-福尔顿博士，我真高兴
-发生了什么事？ -他们那到它了，在水里
-你是指什么？ -那猴子把它混合了
--我一定会抓到你！
我可以把鲁道夫变成猴子！ 我一定会抓到你！
噢，你看你做的好事！
不能用热水！
你好，巴纳比！老兄，你好吗？
我早知道你会康复的
这是你的合同，签了它 然后封上，寄了！
老兄，你真是个天才！
-嘿！-我会得到的！
[喊叫]
你拿了一条水管来！ 用来干什么的？
关掉它！快淹死我了！
噢，劳雷尔小姐！ 快过来加入我们的派对！
-快来！-啊！
他在那里！就是他对我做的！
奥斯里先生，请！啊！
奥斯里先生，不要喷我！
巴纳比，你听到我说吗？
-是的亲爱的-我一直在想
呃-哈.我只是刚开始
我在想，如过我有机会…
再住在那里三天…
我回说什么
噢，让我们听听.我很感兴趣
我们有一份新合同…
我们已经有很多刺激的东西…
我们今晚会出镇，只是我们两个
真有趣.我听不到你说什么
我没有说什么.我只是在想
-我在想你-请说的详细一点？
关于如何让你不会失望
当你发现是易斯特发明了那公式
-嗯.-你的吊带回好看些
试想，青春的秘密 就锁在一只猴子的脑里
你认为他们会找出 如何制造它吗？
我不知道.他们让易斯特 十分辛苦的工作
亲爱的，你为什么不失望？
我有一条新的公式
巴纳比，如果你在重新开始的话 帮帮我吧，我会--
噢，我喜欢那裙子
-噢，是吗？-啊-哈
好吧，新的公式是什么？
它不是在包裹或瓶子里
只是当你忘记自己是 年轻的时候，你就是老了
-来吧，继续说.-啊？
你的心里藏着一些话…
你的眼睛放出了光…
有人让你包在怀里
噢，我真高兴今晚和你出来
来这里
-你喜欢我的公式吗？-啊-哈
让你思考了吧？
我会好好的运用它的
你订了几点的桌子？
呃？