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Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org

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(wind whistling)

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MAN: What's out there,
out in the great beyond?

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And what's beyond that?

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What's beyond beyond?

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The answer is: I don't know.

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And quite frankly,
I don't want to know,

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00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:09,100
because what I do know
is that they don't

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hold a candle
to the greatest town

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in the greatest country
on the greatest planet

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in the whole universe.

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Glenview, Ohio.

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USA.

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Earth.

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Here in Glenview,
we value diversity.

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I myself am friends
with an Indian man named Clyde.

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And Mrs. Kim,
a wonderful widow from Korea.

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Hey, Mrs. Kim.

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Spray me.
Spray me, neighbor.

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Whoo!

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Sun shower.

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Fun shower!

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I don't have
any black friends yet,

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but I am on the market.

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My name's Evan Trautwig.

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Oh. Ed Bosani.

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Every day, I ask

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not what Glenview
can do for me;

29
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What can I do for Glenview?

30
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Oh, geez, Jared, your glutes

31
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are tighter than a snare drum.

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That's why I founded
the running club,

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the Spanish table
at the community center...

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緿onde esta
mi tanque de oxigeno?

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...and created the position

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of deputy secretary
at the city council.

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All right,
next item on the agenda

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stipulates curb height
for wheelchair access

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be no more than six inches
in height.

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Now, I know this is a hot topic,

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so I will defer
to the commissioner.

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Here, dreams
really do come true.

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A simple man can start out
as a junior manager at Costco,

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and 12 years later,
with hard work and gumption,

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end up the senior manager
at that very same Costco.

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I should know,
because that man's name

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is me.

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I don't mean to bust
your chops here, kid,

49
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but this is total bullshit.

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Those rats are as flat
as they ever have been.

51
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I'm sorry. It really
should be working.

52
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Excuse me, sir, if I might.

53
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The activation button
is right there.

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Holy shit.

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This is incredible.

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Yeah.

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There's chipmunks all coming
out of the TV, Costco!

58
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Look, the whole gang's here.

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Yeah. Yeah,
it's a great set.

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Full HD, 1080p,
240 hertz, TrueMotion.

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Totally wireless...

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Hey, hey, hey, buddy, please.

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This is a miracle of technology.

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This is incredible.

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Where do I pay for this baby?

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Justin will load you up.
Go to front-end checkout.

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- You're a beauty.
- Okay.

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Thank you, switch man.

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All right.

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Turning the switch on!

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Ow.

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Turning on a whole new
world for me.

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Hey, Justin, if we stop by
some free food samples,

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I'm not gonna be
pissed, either.

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EVAN:
But you know what?

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It's not all about work.

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I've had a lot of fun

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and formed friendships
that will last a lifetime.

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(watch beeping)

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Hey, there he is.

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So?

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There are 50 stars

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on the American flag,

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the Constitution
was written in 1787,

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and...

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I am now an American citizen.

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(whooping laugh)

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Really?

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Yes.

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Oh!

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Antonio, that's great.

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I knew it. I knew it.

93
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You see, good things
happen to good people,

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and you are a good man.

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Oh. And look, boss.

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I got a new tattoo to celebrate.

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Oh.

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Yeah.

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Wow.

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That's really fresh, isn't it?

101
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Yeah.

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"Proud to be an American."

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Good. Maybe keep it
covered, though,

104
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just 'cause it's not really
Costco policy, okay?

105
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Yes, of course, boss.

106
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I'm proud of you.

107
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This is great.

108
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All right, I got to get
out of here.

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Okay.

110
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Oh, hey, listen.

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If a bag of Bugles
and a six-pack of Coke

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go missing, it's on me.

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You earned it.

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Thanks, boss.

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Buenas noches.

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Buenas noches.

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# Woke up quick at about noon #

118
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# Just thought that I had to be
in Compton soon #

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# I gotta get drunk
before the day begins #

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# Before my mother
starts bitchin' #

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# About my friends #

122
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# A car pulls up,
who can it be? #

123
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# A fresh El Camino
rolling Kilo G #

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# He rolled down his window
and he started to say #

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# It's all about making
that GTA #

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# Yo, man #

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Costco security, motherfucker!

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# Yo, man, yo, man #

129
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# Yo, man, get the fuck out #

130
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# Cruisin' down the street
in my 6-4 #

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# Jockin' the bitches,
slappin' the hoes #

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# Went to the park
to get the scoop #

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# Knuckleheads out there
cold shootin' some hoops #

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# 'Cause the boys in the hood
are always hard #

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# You come talkin' that trash,
we'll pull your card... #

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Oh, yeah.

137
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It's time to come out
of the pool, Denise.

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# 'Cause I ain't
sayin' shit... #

139
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Hey. What the hell, man?

140
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(light switches clacking)

141
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Shit.

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(distant clank)

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(grunts)

144
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Hello?

145
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Mr. Trautwig.

146
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Is that you?

147
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(panting, grunting)

148
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(clattering)

149
00:05:57,300 --> 00:05:59,900
Who's there?

150
00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:04,000
(panting)

151
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,400
Okay.

152
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,200
(growling, clattering)

153
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Oh.

154
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:19,900
What the fuck?

155
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Listen!

156
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They gave me a gun, okay?

157
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And they didn't teach me
to use it properly.

158
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:33,400
So... you're in a lot of danger

159
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:37,200
if you don't just
back the fuck up, okay?

160
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(heavy footstep)

161
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,100
(gasps) Oh, no!

162
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No!

163
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(whimpering)

164
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Oh, no, no...!

165
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(gasping)

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(screams)

167
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# #

168
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WOMAN:
It's just a baby shower, hon.

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EVAN: I don't know why you're
so excited about going there

170
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:15,900
when everything
is so great here.

171
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:17,500
We used to hate New York
together.

172
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:19,200
It was, like, one of our things.

173
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,000
It is great here, Evan.

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I love it.
It's just a little boring.

175
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,500
Actually, it's super boring.

176
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:26,500
I just...
I want to get out

177
00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:28,300
and see the world a little bit.

178
00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:29,800
You know, get some culture,

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00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,000
eat some good food,
go to a few museums.

180
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,800
We have museums here.

181
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,100
All right, I think we're
still a couple days away,

182
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:37,400
but when I get back...

183
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,400
Yeah?

184
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,500
I'm going to walk
through that door,

185
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:43,000
and we are going to S-C-R-E-W.

186
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,200
Ooh, okay, okay.

187
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,700
(laughing):
Right on the kitchen floor.

188
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:47,400
Mmm, I love it
when you spell it.

189
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,500
Definitely.

190
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,400
Or we could do it
in the bedroom.

191
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,400
Thank you. Okay.

192
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,200
Or we could...

193
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:55,000
start in the kitchen,
then move up to the bedroom.

194
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,200
Bye.

195
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:57,800
Have fun.

196
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,000
Be safe.

197
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,000
I love you.

198
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,900
What is going on?

199
00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:12,100
(siren whooping)

200
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:14,400
(indistinct radio communication,
helicopter hovering)

201
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,100
Whoa. Sorry, sir.

202
00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:26,100
Can't let you in there.

203
00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:26,200
No, no, no, it's okay.

204
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,000
I'm the, uh, manager.
This is my store.

205
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,700
Well, I'm afraid
your store is closed

206
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:31,700
- until further notice.
- What are you talking about?

207
00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:33,600
I can't divulge that, sir.

208
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,500
Police policy.

209
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:37,100
Oh, wait a second.

210
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,000
You're the manager,
so do you happen to know

211
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,300
the name of the guy
who was working last night?

212
00:08:41,300 --> 00:08:42,700
Yes... Antonio.

213
00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:44,300
Antonio Guzman.

214
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:45,500
Antonio...

215
00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:47,100
Why? Did something
happen to him?

216
00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:49,300
Guz...man.

217
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,100
Yeah, he's dead.

218
00:08:52,100 --> 00:08:53,300
What?

219
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,900
Are... are you sure?

220
00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:57,300
Pretty sure.

221
00:08:57,300 --> 00:09:00,500
Looks like your friend was
ripped apart by a wild animal.

222
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:02,000
Jesus.

223
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,700
We're dealing with one
sick son of a B.

224
00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:06,600
Took the victim's skin.

225
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:07,900
Is... did...

226
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:10,600
did... are there...
are there any leads

227
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,200
or... fingerprints or...?

228
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,900
Slow down, guy.

229
00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:17,300
I mean, we only got here,
like, two hours ago.

230
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:19,900
We strung up this yellow tape,
which took a while.

231
00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:23,200
So, uh, you knew
the victim well?

232
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:24,500
Yeah. I...

233
00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:25,700
He was a friend.

234
00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:28,400
He was... just became
an American citizen.

235
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,200
And that made you angry.

236
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:31,400
No, it made me happy.

237
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:32,800
I was happy for him.
He was...

238
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,800
Then why'd you kill him?

239
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,400
I didn't kill him.

240
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,900
What... what are you
talking about?

241
00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:44,300
Why are you staring
at me like that?

242
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:46,700
I'm just kidding.

243
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:49,100
Come on. Maybe you can
help I.D. the body.

244
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:50,000
Back here.

245
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,900
I had you going,
though... man!

246
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:02,100
("The Sound of Silence"
playing in Spanish)

247
00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:14,800
FEMALE REPORTER:
The victim has been identified

248
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,100
as Antonio Guzman.

249
00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:17,700
Here's what police told us
about the attack.

250
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:20,500
OFFICER:
We will do the best we can,

251
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:22,100
but I, for one,
would like to put

252
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:25,200
some of the responsibility
on the citizens of this town.

253
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,300
There's only like eight cops
in this town,

254
00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:29,800
and there's thousands
of you guys, so,

255
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:33,000
not to point fingers
or anything, but...

256
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,300
Stay with us
for the latest details

257
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:36,800
on this developing story.

258
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,100
Back to you, Gail.

259
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:41,800
# #

260
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,300
(cheering)

261
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:46,800
(buzzer sounds)

262
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,600
ANNOUNCER: That's the half,
and as the players

263
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,400
march into the locking room,
we're going to be

264
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,500
joined on the field by, um...

265
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:55,400
Evan Trautwig.

266
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,300
(music fades)

267
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:14,100
Did anyone here cry themselves
to sleep last night?

268
00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:17,000
(laughter)

269
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,000
EVAN:
It's okay. You can laugh.

270
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,800
Laughter is a common expression
of grief.

271
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:24,000
And yes, I did cry.

272
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,900
Because a man
was killed yesterday.

273
00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:31,800
But tonight,
my tears have turned to fists!

274
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,800
(makes fart noise)

275
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,900
Because whoever did this

276
00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:35,900
is still out there.

277
00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:35,800
BOY: Who is this guy?

278
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:39,300
And we need to stop him
before he strikes again.

279
00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:40,600
(makes fart noise)
Oh, struck again.

280
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,600
(laughing)

281
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,500
EVAN: No more murders!

282
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:44,700
Shh.

283
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:48,500
EVAN:
Because our society has rules.

284
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,900
And one of those rules is:

285
00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:54,900
You can't kill someone
and take their skin!

286
00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,600
That's not cool.

287
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,100
So, with that in mind,

288
00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:03,000
I am forming
a neighborhood watch,

289
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,200
a task force
of concerned citizens

290
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,200
to solve the murder
of Antonio Guzman.

291
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,700
To keep an eye on any
and all suspicious activities,

292
00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:15,900
and generally...

293
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:18,500
get to the bottom of things.

294
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:20,900
Thank you.

295
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:23,500
(cheering and applause)

296
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,600
(rattling)

297
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,400
(crunching)

298
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:46,800
Mm-hmm.

299
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,400
Okay.

300
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,200
Solid turnout.

301
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:51,900
Thanks, everybody, for coming.

302
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:53,800
You're that guy
from Costco, right?

303
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,700
Yes, I am that guy.

304
00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:56,700
Okay. Yeah.

305
00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:56,900
Thanks.

306
00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:58,400
All right, you want to, uh...

307
00:12:58,400 --> 00:12:59,400
(doorbell rings)

308
00:12:58,400 --> 00:12:59,700
Oh.

309
00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,400
One more concerned citizen.

310
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,900
You mind if I look
around the place a little bit?

311
00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:05,600
Looks like you got
a lot of knickknacks.

312
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,400
Oh, wow. Hi.

313
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,500
Neighborhood watch
meeting is...?

314
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,100
Yes. Really?

315
00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:13,100
Yeah.

316
00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:13,600
Great. Wow.

317
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:14,600
Okay.

318
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:14,700
I'm Evan.

319
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:15,700
I'm Jamarcus.

320
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:15,800
Great to meet you.

321
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:16,900
Good to meet you.

322
00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:18,000
Great. That's great.

323
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,400
I was hoping another person
would come,

324
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:22,100
and you're the best type
of person it could be.

325
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,700
I mean, actually, I couldn't
have even hoped as much for...

326
00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:26,700
Wow. This is...

327
00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:26,500
Come on in.

328
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:29,000
I'm so pleased to have
this effect this early.

329
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,200
Terrific.
This is exciting.

330
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,200
Come on in.

331
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,000
Thank you. I'm excited, too.

332
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,000
Great.

333
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,500
Most people are disappointed

334
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,500
when they meet me, which...

335
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:36,500
British?

336
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:36,600
I am.

337
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,600
And you're American.

338
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,200
Yeah.

339
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,800
This looks like it's a, uh...
Thailand or something.

340
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,600
I don't know what it is.
I mean, it's b-beautiful.

341
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:44,900
Oh, my God!

342
00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:46,300
There's another doll
in here! Hi!

343
00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:48,200
Look at this,
there's a doll in here.

344
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,800
Hey, and look at this thing.

345
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,300
Oh, my God,
there's another one!

346
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:53,300
Look at this.
Did you know that?

347
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:53,500
Yeah, yeah, I did.

348
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,500
That's awesome.

349
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,800
It's a Russian nesting doll.

350
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,600
You want to have a seat
and we start the meeting?

351
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:57,900
That's incredible.
Look at that little doll.

352
00:13:57,900 --> 00:13:59,000
Oh, my goodness, look at that.

353
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,000
Yeah, yeah, can you...

354
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,400
It keeps going.

355
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:01,500
It keeps going. There's more.

356
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:02,500
There's more dolls in here.

357
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:02,800
Yeah.

358
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,100
No, they call it
a nesting doll.

359
00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:05,300
You want to sit down,
we can start the meeting?

360
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:06,300
No, but they keep going.
There's more dolls.

361
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:07,300
You have one doll,
you have another...

362
00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:08,600
Uh, put this
on top of this doll.

363
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,400
I just got to see...
got to get to the bottom of it.

364
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,400
Yeah, there's a lot.

365
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,600
You're kidding me.

366
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,600
Okay, but why don't
we start the meeting.

367
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,700
You're not gonna tell me
that it goes again.

368
00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:17,100
What's that?

369
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:20,600
Guys, there's another one.

370
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:21,700
Where can I pick
one of these up?

371
00:14:21,700 --> 00:14:22,800
Yeah, I'm not sure.

372
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,000
Want to sit down?
We can, uh, get going?

373
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,600
Okay, I'm gonna jump in
here and do this.

374
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,100
Make a party out of
this thing, right?

375
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:29,500
Here's some handbooks.

376
00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:30,800
Here you go.

377
00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:33,900
Aha.

378
00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:33,000
All right.

379
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,300
My name is Evan.

380
00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:35,900
I want to thank
you all for coming.

381
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:38,400
And I thought we'd start out by
just getting to know each other.

382
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:42,000
Maybe we each stand up, say
who we are, why we joined up,

383
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,000
what it's all about
for us, okay?

384
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,700
You have any beers
while we get acquainted?

385
00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:47,700
Beers? No.

386
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:48,900
No beers.

387
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:51,000
All right, well,
I'll start this off.

388
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,100
My name is Bob, with a "B."
(chuckles)

389
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,100
Okay. Welcome, Bob.

390
00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:55,200
And, um, I love the town.

391
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,800
I love my wife,
I love my daughter,

392
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,300
and I love getting a chance
to hang with the guys.

393
00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:01,300
So I'm really into
what you're doing here.

394
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:03,700
Once a week, away from
the wife and kids,

395
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:05,100
telling some dirty jokes,

396
00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:07,000
having some beers,
if we're good.

397
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,400
I really look forward

398
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,900
to getting a chance
at tearing this shit up.

399
00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:12,100
Really fucking it up.

400
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:13,400
Great. Thank you, Bob.

401
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,900
Really great to meet you, bud.

402
00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:16,600
You, too, pal.

403
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:17,900
Uh...

404
00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:20,700
Uh, that was a...

405
00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:24,000
that was a great speech.

406
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,900
I'm Franklin.
(chuckles)

407
00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:27,900
Welcome, Franklin.

408
00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:27,800
Yeah.

409
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:32,200
Uh, few years ago, uh,
dropped out of high school.

410
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,200
Wasn't feeling the vibe.

411
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,900
Wanted to become a member of
the Glenview Police Department.

412
00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:38,900
Mm-hmm.

413
00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:38,800
I guess they didn't see

414
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:40,700
the magic that was me.

415
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:44,100
Apparently, I didn't pass
the written exam

416
00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:48,500
or the physical exam
or the mental health exam.

417
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:50,000
Whatever that means.

418
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,900
So, here I am,
with this vigilante squad,

419
00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:56,500
and I figure that's
the best way to work through

420
00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:58,800
my emotional shit and
bust some heads in the process.

421
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:02,600
Okay, just to be clear,
we're not a vigilante squad.

422
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,700
Vigilante squad, militia...
whatever you're going for.

423
00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:05,800
Doesn't matter.

424
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,900
No, not-not a militia
or a vigilante squad.

425
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,200
Every group needs a wild card,

426
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,600
and I think it's safe to say
we found ours.

427
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:12,600
I dig it.

428
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:13,900
Well, thank you, Franklin.

429
00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:15,900
We got a good one here.

430
00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:15,200
Yep.

431
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,700
What are you about?

432
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,300
Hello. Uh, yeah.

433
00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:19,600
My name's Jamarcus.

434
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,400
Uh, recently
very happily divorced,

435
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:24,600
and just looking to get more
involved in the local community.

436
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,100
Well, that was simple.

437
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:27,800
Welcome, Jamarcus.

438
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:28,900
Ah, also,

439
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:32,200
um, I have this
one scenario in my mind

440
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,300
that I'm kind of hoping
plays out like this.

441
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:38,500
Young, sexy, Asian housewife
alone at night, frightened.

442
00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:39,900
A noise out

443
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:41,200
by the trash cans.

444
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,300
Best call
the neighborhood watch.

445
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:47,300
I show up, look heroic,
and then... get this...

446
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:50,400
she sucks my balls.

447
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:52,700
(makes gunshot noise)

448
00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:54,000
Hear me now!

449
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,400
I'm also interested
in that happening to me.

450
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:00,300
Okay.

451
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:03,000
Well, Jamarcus, Bob, Franklin,

452
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,700
I guess it doesn't matter
what brought us all here.

453
00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:07,900
What matters is
that we're all united

454
00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:09,200
in one cause.

455
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,100
And with that,
I'd like to welcome you all

456
00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:13,900
to the first
official meeting of...

457
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,500
the neighborhood watch.

458
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:19,600
Okay, now,

459
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:23,000
I've taken the liberty
of dividing Glenview

460
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,100
into 12 sectors.

461
00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:26,600
Though some might argue
there are 13,

462
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:29,300
if you abide by the Yorktown
Zoning Commission ruling.

463
00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:30,500
I'm not buying it,
but then again

464
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:31,800
I'm not from Honeywell County.

465
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:32,900
Thank God. Regardless...

466
00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:34,100
BOB:
I'm sorry to be

467
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:35,500
the squeaky wheel,
but it feels like you have

468
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:36,500
a lot of dense material

469
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:36,800
Yeah.

470
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:37,800
That you're starting

471
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:38,900
to go through here.

472
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:40,200
And to be honest with you,
you know,

473
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,700
my house is about
five blocks away,

474
00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:42,900
and I just fixed her up.

475
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:44,100
Gentlemen, I got drinks,

476
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:46,100
I got La-Z-Boys,
I got flat-screens,

477
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:47,400
I got the whole nine.

478
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,100
I know you guys
are gonna love it.

479
00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:50,500
So I just want
to throw it out there.

480
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:52,200
If I'm overstepping,
just say the word and you're not

481
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:53,600
gonna hear another squeak
from this little wheel.

482
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,400
Well, honestly...

483
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,100
That sounds a fuck-load
better than this.

484
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:59,100
No offense.

485
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:59,200
I don't even know why I'm still
sitting here.

486
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:00,700
I'm gonna go warm up the car.

487
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:03,800
You're gonna love this
place; it's awesome.

488
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,100
Gentlemen...

489
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:09,300
welcome to paradise.

490
00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:10,600
Oh.

491
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:11,800
Oh! Yes!

492
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,600
I'm a construction manager,
and I built

493
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,400
this little slice of heaven
with my own two hands.

494
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,400
It's so nice. I love it.

495
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,300
Ah, thanks, everyone.

496
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:20,800
Yeah, I'll set up over there.

497
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:21,900
You have a pool table.

498
00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:23,100
Yeah. Just got it re-felted.

499
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:24,700
Go ahead and take her
for a spin.

500
00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:26,700
Here we go.

501
00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:26,300
(chair vibrating)

502
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:27,700
Hey, you like that thing, huh?

503
00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:29,500
It feels like this chair
is inside me, Robert.

504
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:31,400
That is the best 2,300 bucks
I ever spent.

505
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,800
I got it at a place
called Relax-the-Back.com.

506
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,700
It's like Toys "R" Us
for your ass and back.

507
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,500
Feels like a thousand
little baby wizards are

508
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:40,000
massaging my ass cheeks
with their little baby wands.

509
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,400
Powerful imagery, brother!

510
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,000
I'm digging
where he's coming from!

511
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,000
Handbooks. Boom.

512
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,900
Rack them up. I'm in.
What are you drinking?

513
00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:46,600
What's your poison?
You down with scotch?

514
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,600
I... no poison.

515
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,500
Scotch and yes.

516
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:50,500
No, no, no. No poison.

517
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:50,200
Scotch and yes?

518
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,200
No.

519
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,300
Scotch and yes!

520
00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:53,700
You know, we got a lot
of ground to cover,

521
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,100
and we're already an hour
behind, so why don't

522
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:57,400
we just dig in, and then we can
get to whatever afterwards.

523
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:58,400
Guitar.

524
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:58,900
Ah, come on, Evan.

525
00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:00,600
We're just bonding
a little bit.

526
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,600
Tell me about yourself.
I know you got a wife.

527
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,100
Do you have any kids? How old?

528
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:05,800
Uh, zero years old.

529
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,800
No kids.

530
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,600
That's a shame.

531
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,800
I couldn't imagine my life
without my little Chelsea.

532
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,800
I mean, being a parent is...

533
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:13,900
well, it's unbelievable.

534
00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:15,100
That's great.

535
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:17,000
CHELSEA: Dad, can I go
to a movie at 11:00?

536
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,900
Hell, no! It's a weeknight!

537
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:21,900
But Mandy and Judy are going.

538
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:21,600
BOB: Mandy?!

539
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,000
Thank you for proving my point!

540
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,200
Mandy's dead weight.
She's a succubus.

541
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,500
I told you that.

542
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,300
Dad, I'm trying to talk
to you like an adult,

543
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,300
and you just...

544
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,600
Don't want to listen!

545
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:30,800
That's right!
So skedaddle!

546
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,300
Get up there
and do your homework!

547
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:34,300
Are you serious?!
I fucking hate it here!

548
00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:36,400
Well, I fucking love it here!

549
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:37,600
That's my little princess.

550
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,000
That's my little angel,
Chelsea, right there.

551
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,300
I'm sorry I didn't get a chance
to introduce you guys.

552
00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:42,800
How about some drinks?

553
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,300
Fresh horses for my men!

554
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:46,300
Tonight we ride! Get in
here, Frankfurter!

555
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:46,200
Yes, thank you.

556
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:47,200
Yeah!

557
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:47,700
I don't...

558
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:48,700
Come on, Evaroo.

559
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:49,600
No, thanks.

560
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,100
You'll be bummed if you don't.

561
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:52,100
No, I don't...

562
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:52,800
Can I interest anyone
in some finger foods?

563
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,700
I got to order some pies
up in this thing, right?

564
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,700
You guys want some pies?

565
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,400
Okay, you know what?

566
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,100
You guys got your own thing
going on there.

567
00:19:58,100 --> 00:19:59,900
I am going to

568
00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:00,700
put up some flyers.

569
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:01,700
Come on, have one drink.

570
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:01,900
No.

571
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:03,000
Bye.

572
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,000
No?

573
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,500
All right, I'll see you guys.

574
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:05,500
Okay.

575
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:05,500
See you.

576
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,500
Hey, see you tomorrow night.

577
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,200
Okay.

578
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,200
Same Bob time, same Bob place.

579
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,400
Hey, fella!

580
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,400
What are you doing?

581
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,000
Ah.

582
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,100
There you are.

583
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:23,500
1162 Jerome Park Drive.

584
00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:24,800
Excuse me?

585
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,400
I'm 1157 Jerome Park Drive.

586
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,900
Name's Paul.
Just moved in.

587
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:31,100
Oh! You're... oh.

588
00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:32,100
Oh, sorry.

589
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,600
I'm, uh, I'm Evan.

590
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:34,600
Hi.

591
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:35,800
Evan.

592
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,600
Evan Trautwig, subscriber
to Men's Fitness.

593
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,900
Oh, yeah, that's... that is...
yeah, that's mine.

594
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:42,900
Thank you.

595
00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:44,200
Not that you need it.

596
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,900
Excuse me?

597
00:20:45,900 --> 00:20:49,100
You got the body of
a decathlete, Evan.

598
00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:52,900
And you got great skin.

599
00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:57,600
You live here alone
in this big old house?

600
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,000
No. No.

601
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,100
I live with my wife.

602
00:21:01,100 --> 00:21:02,400
My female wife Abby.

603
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,000
I'm gonna go inside now.

604
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,100
Mm. All right,
Evan Trautwig.

605
00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:12,800
Nice to meet you.

606
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,300
Stay fit.

607
00:21:14,300 --> 00:21:15,700
Evan Trautwig!

608
00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:17,300
Yeah.

609
00:21:20,300 --> 00:21:23,600
ABBY:
It was really cute.

610
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,000
We all got our own puff paints

611
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,300
and made these little
customized onesies.

612
00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:29,200
Oh, wow.

613
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:30,500
Okay.

614
00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:31,800
So you started another club.

615
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:32,800
No.

616
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:33,900
It's not a club,

617
00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:35,900
it's a task force
of concerned citizens.

618
00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:38,200
I went to the Spartans game
and made a speech,

619
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:39,900
and the community
really responded.

620
00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:44,700
Well, guess who peed on the
ovulation stick on the plane?

621
00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:45,700
You?

622
00:21:45,700 --> 00:21:47,300
Yep.

623
00:21:47,300 --> 00:21:49,300
It's kind of faint, but I
think there's two pink lines.

624
00:21:49,300 --> 00:21:50,600
Yeah, I can't tell.

625
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,500
Well, I think we
should do it anyway.

626
00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:54,500
I would love to do it.

627
00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:54,200
Just to be safe.

628
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:55,500
Mm-mm-mm.

629
00:21:55,500 --> 00:21:57,200
But I got to go meet

630
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,000
the neighborhood watch guys
for a patrol.

631
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,700
Evan! You promised.

632
00:22:01,700 --> 00:22:03,700
I know, but I also
promised Antonio's family

633
00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:05,900
that I would catch his killer.

634
00:22:05,900 --> 00:22:07,400
I made a vow.

635
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:08,400
Okay, okay, okay...

636
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:09,700
It's a great group of guys.

637
00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:11,900
Really.
I'm very excited.

638
00:22:11,900 --> 00:22:13,300
Here we go.

639
00:22:13,300 --> 00:22:14,500
Bad-ass jackets for the watch.

640
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:16,300
I went to the mall
this morning,

641
00:22:16,300 --> 00:22:17,300
and I had them made up.

642
00:22:17,300 --> 00:22:18,300
Get them while they're hot.

643
00:22:18,300 --> 00:22:19,300
- Blam.
- Let's do it.

644
00:22:18,300 --> 00:22:19,600
Whoa.

645
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:20,600
What?

646
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:20,700
Thank you.

647
00:22:20,700 --> 00:22:22,700
Got your names on them.

648
00:22:20,700 --> 00:22:22,400
Got our names on them.

649
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,400
Yep.

650
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,900
All right, Bob.

651
00:22:23,900 --> 00:22:25,000
This is great.

652
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,000
These are good.

653
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,800
Okay.

654
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,600
Hey, what-what happened
to my logo?

655
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,700
Oh, this is, this is
just like your initial logo,

656
00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:33,100
only now it's awesome.

657
00:22:33,100 --> 00:22:34,800
This has nothing to do
with my original logo.

658
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,800
My logo was an eye that was
watching over the neighborhood.

659
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,700
I don't know what this is.

660
00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:41,600
What, a tiger with wings?

661
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:42,400
Exactly!

662
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:43,400
This is a tiger,

663
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,000
who's fierce and sleek.

664
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,000
But it's got wings, so it flies
above the neighborhood,

665
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,900
and if it sees a domestic
problem, it kills it!

666
00:22:49,900 --> 00:22:51,500
The other thing is,
your original one's here.

667
00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:53,500
So I think...

668
00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:53,700
Got the eye right
there on the side.

669
00:22:53,700 --> 00:22:55,700
It's always on the side.

670
00:22:53,700 --> 00:22:55,300
Small on the side.

671
00:22:55,300 --> 00:22:57,600
That's weird, 'cause it's like
an eye on the shoulder,

672
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,000
but there's a tiger
on your back.

673
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,000
Weird how?

674
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,500
What are we,
the flaming tigers?

675
00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:02,400
'Cause that's what
it looks like.

676
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,000
We're the flaming,
flying tigers.

677
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,600
It makes no sense.

678
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:06,600
Are you out of your mind?!

679
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,100
This is inspiring
for the watch!

680
00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:11,000
Whenever you have a
tiger, flames and wings,

681
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,600
all in the same logo,

682
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,500
it's like the Chinese symbol for
"Shut the fuck up and dance!"

683
00:23:15,500 --> 00:23:17,300
This is inspiring
for the watch!

684
00:23:17,300 --> 00:23:19,000
I don't know.
What are we, in a doo-wop group?

685
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,600
We're gonna, like,
stand over a garbage can

686
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:21,700
with fire and harmonize?

687
00:23:21,700 --> 00:23:23,300
I would see this doo-wop group.

688
00:23:23,300 --> 00:23:24,600
Hey, for your information,

689
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,500
doo-wop groups
were known to close ass.

690
00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:29,300
Singing was their hobby,
closing ass was their job.

691
00:23:29,300 --> 00:23:30,600
The baritone from
Boyz II Men had to

692
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,000
stop making music
'cause he got so much pussy.

693
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,000
- Thank you.
- They're like ass collectors.

694
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,000
This is not about fashion,
this is about brotherhood,

695
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,100
this is about solidarity.

696
00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:38,600
You should get that
more than anybody.

697
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:39,600
He's actually right.

698
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:40,600
Pigs have uniforms,

699
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,200
I think we should
have uniforms, too.

700
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,400
We got to match those fuckers
on every level.

701
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,000
Understand?
Every level.

702
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,400
Can I just say, Bob,

703
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,000
that these are the shit.

704
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,400
Just the shit.

705
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:55,200
These are just shit.

706
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,100
Okay, you know what, fine.

707
00:23:59,100 --> 00:24:00,300
I'll wear it.

708
00:24:00,300 --> 00:24:02,200
But you have to
promise me that tonight

709
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,500
we're actually gonna
do something, okay?

710
00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:05,500
Absolutely.

711
00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:05,700
For sure.

712
00:24:05,700 --> 00:24:07,700
Gentlemen, we're part of
more than a club,

713
00:24:07,700 --> 00:24:09,200
we're part of a way of life.

714
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:10,600
We're making a
commitment to ourselves

715
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:11,600
and to the watch today.

716
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:12,800
Get your hands in here, Evan.

717
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:14,000
Get that pretty hand in there.

718
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,600
On three, let me
hear you sing it out

719
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,400
with pride in your hearts.

720
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,500
Neighborhood watch.

721
00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:20,200
One, two, three.

722
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:21,500
ALL:
Neighborhood watch!

723
00:24:23,500 --> 00:24:25,100
FRANKLIN:
Yeah, this is boring.

724
00:24:25,100 --> 00:24:26,300
BOB:
Yeah, Franklin's right.

725
00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:28,400
We're not gonna sit
here all night, are we?

726
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:29,400
Yeah, guys, we are.

727
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,400
Really?

728
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,100
If we need to.

729
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:32,300
It's a stakeout.

730
00:24:32,300 --> 00:24:34,100
BOB:
I don't mean to

731
00:24:34,100 --> 00:24:36,000
sound childish,
but I do have to pee.

732
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,000
You should've peed
earlier. I'm sorry.

733
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,000
As an adult, you're just
gonna have to hold it.

734
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,400
How you doing, Jamarcus?

735
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:43,400
Ready.

736
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:43,900
I still have to pee.

737
00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:45,300
You know, the liquid comes in,
the liquid's

738
00:24:45,300 --> 00:24:46,500
got to come out; I got to piss.

739
00:24:46,500 --> 00:24:47,600
Here. Why don't you
just pee in this.

740
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:48,600
Oh, great.

741
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:49,600
That's a good idea.

742
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:50,700
No, no, don't pee in that.

743
00:24:50,700 --> 00:24:52,700
I got to mount up.

744
00:24:50,700 --> 00:24:52,200
What are you doing?

745
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:53,200
No, don't...

746
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:53,300
I'm mounting up to piss.

747
00:24:53,300 --> 00:24:54,300
You're not gonna pee in a can.

748
00:24:53,300 --> 00:24:54,900
Why not?

749
00:24:54,900 --> 00:24:56,900
No, Bob.

750
00:24:54,900 --> 00:24:56,100
I'm not gonna miss anything.

751
00:24:56,100 --> 00:24:57,300
I'm a good shot,
I'm gonna get it perfect.

752
00:24:57,300 --> 00:24:59,300
Open the door.

753
00:24:57,300 --> 00:24:59,100
I've taken lots of road trips.

754
00:24:59,100 --> 00:25:01,100
I've always done this shit.

755
00:24:59,100 --> 00:25:01,100
No, piss out the door.

756
00:25:01,100 --> 00:25:02,600
And blow our-our
stakeout position? No shot.

757
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:05,600
You're not gonna pee in a can.

758
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:05,100
I'd never hear the end of it

759
00:25:05,100 --> 00:25:07,200
from you if I blew our stakeout
position; there's no shot.

760
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:08,700
So I got to mount up.
I'm mounting up.

761
00:25:08,700 --> 00:25:10,100
Okay, and we're going.

762
00:25:10,100 --> 00:25:11,100
Oh, my God, we're going.

763
00:25:10,100 --> 00:25:11,700
You're in.

764
00:25:11,700 --> 00:25:13,700
Oh, my God, we're going.

765
00:25:11,700 --> 00:25:13,200
(urine sloshing)

766
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,900
This is almost like... I've had
to pee so bad for so long,

767
00:25:15,900 --> 00:25:17,200
it's borderline sexual, Evaroo.

768
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,200
I'm not missing, either.

769
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,200
It's so controlled.

770
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:20,800
I mean, it's incredibly
controlled, Evan.

771
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,800
It's like he's threading
a needle.

772
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,300
I know I'm okay

773
00:25:22,300 --> 00:25:24,300
'cause I can feel the steel
right around the tip.

774
00:25:24,300 --> 00:25:25,700
I'm squishing it against it.

775
00:25:25,700 --> 00:25:27,400
I got the mushroom pushed
right against the cold steel.

776
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,000
Bob, hit me with a beat.
Hit me with a stop and go.

777
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,000
Stop it. Make it happen.

778
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,200
(urine stopping and starting)

779
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,100
Stop it.
Make it happen.

780
00:25:33,100 --> 00:25:33,100
- Stop it.
- Uh-huh.

781
00:25:33,900 --> 00:25:35,900
Make it happen.

782
00:25:33,900 --> 00:25:35,200
(sighs)

783
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:36,700
Killing it.

784
00:25:36,700 --> 00:25:37,700
And we're done.

785
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:38,700
Good.

786
00:25:37,700 --> 00:25:38,800
Well done. Well done.

787
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:39,900
Oh, thank you.
That was a good one.

788
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,900
Would you be a pal
and hold this for me?

789
00:25:41,900 --> 00:25:43,900
Oh, come on! Come on!

790
00:25:41,900 --> 00:25:43,500
Just so I can get repositioned.

791
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:44,500
That's enough!

792
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:44,700
Come on!

793
00:25:44,700 --> 00:25:46,900
I'm busting your chain!
I'm busting your chain!

794
00:25:46,900 --> 00:25:49,200
Hey, did I miss anything
while I was pissing?

795
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:50,400
Did we catch the killer?

796
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:51,400
(laughs)

797
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:52,800
Lighten up, big guy!

798
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,400
I'm glad you think
this is so funny, Bob.

799
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:58,000
I'm glad you think this
is a laugh riot, okay?

800
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,800
Let's all have a laugh while
Antonio Guzman's killer

801
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,400
continues to roam free.

802
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,100
You know what?

803
00:26:04,100 --> 00:26:05,200
He's right.

804
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:06,900
That sicko's probably
out there right now,

805
00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:09,000
staring at us from a distance,

806
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,900
beating the living shit
out of his dick,

807
00:26:10,900 --> 00:26:13,400
reliving his sick fantasy.

808
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,500
(can pops)

809
00:26:15,500 --> 00:26:17,200
What are you doing?

810
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:18,200
Popping a top.

811
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:20,000
No, no, you can't do that.

812
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,000
Why not?

813
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,600
It's against the law.

814
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,300
It's illegal. You can't have
open alcohol in the car.

815
00:26:24,300 --> 00:26:25,400
The car's not moving.

816
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:26,800
There's not even a key
in the ignition.

817
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:27,800
Doesn't matter, it's still...

818
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,200
Franklin, you failed
the police test.

819
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:30,200
Is this illegal?

820
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:31,600
It's definitely illegal.

821
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,300
But I also failed the boring
test, you know what I'm saying?

822
00:26:34,300 --> 00:26:35,300
I dig it.

823
00:26:34,300 --> 00:26:35,500
Hook me up.

824
00:26:35,500 --> 00:26:36,700
My guy.

825
00:26:36,700 --> 00:26:39,200
# I'm gonna drink this
little, little cervezas. #

826
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,200
All right, Jamarky-Mark.

827
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:41,800
Cannonball coming at you!

828
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:42,800
Coming in hot.

829
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:44,100
Evaroo?
Want to hold off?

830
00:26:44,100 --> 00:26:45,100
I don't blame you;
You're driving.

831
00:26:44,100 --> 00:26:45,600
Cheers.

832
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:46,900
Hey, to great times.

833
00:26:46,900 --> 00:26:47,900
And doing it right.

834
00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:49,000
JAMARCUS:
To criminality.

835
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:50,400
FRANKLIN: # Evan,
taste these cervezas. #

836
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:51,400
Maybe a little...

837
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:52,400
Keep it low, guys.

838
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:52,400
Oh, shit.

839
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:53,500
Seriously, put it low,
put it low.

840
00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:55,100
Put it between your knees.
Even lower.

841
00:26:55,100 --> 00:26:56,500
I've been here many times,
trust me.

842
00:26:56,500 --> 00:26:58,600
Act like there's nothing
going on, you're fine.

843
00:26:58,600 --> 00:26:59,800
FRANKLIN (whispering):
Fucking guys.

844
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:01,600
I hate these motherfuckers.

845
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:05,200
Hello, Officers.

846
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:06,200
Evening, gentlemen.

847
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,000
Doing a little cruising?

848
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,900
EVAN:
No, Officers.

849
00:27:08,900 --> 00:27:12,800
We're actually on, uh...
neighborhood watch business.

850
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:14,400
Hide your bong, Chucho.

851
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,700
Neighborhood watch is here.

852
00:27:16,700 --> 00:27:20,000
Sergeant, you remember me?

853
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,100
SERGEANT:
No.

854
00:27:21,100 --> 00:27:22,900
What, have I
arrested you before?

855
00:27:22,900 --> 00:27:24,800
Not so good with faces.

856
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,300
(mutters):
Faces.

857
00:27:26,300 --> 00:27:27,200
You're a cop.

858
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:28,300
What do you mean you're not...

859
00:27:28,300 --> 00:27:30,500
You're not good
with faces? What?!

860
00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:31,700
I don't see the connection.

861
00:27:31,700 --> 00:27:34,400
What I have been seeing
are these babies.

862
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:35,600
How's it been going?

863
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,300
Good, actually.

864
00:27:37,300 --> 00:27:38,500
Very good.

865
00:27:38,500 --> 00:27:39,500
Great.

866
00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:40,700
Yeah, we thought
we'd start here

867
00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:42,200
at the Costco and stake
it out for a while.

868
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:43,700
'Cause, as you
know, most killers

869
00:27:43,700 --> 00:27:45,300
return to the scene
of the crime, so...

870
00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:47,000
Oh, of course they do.

871
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:50,300
The killer always returns
to the scene of the crime.

872
00:27:50,300 --> 00:27:52,000
So, uh,

873
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,900
fancy seeing you here,
Trautwig.

874
00:27:54,900 --> 00:27:56,600
At the scene of the crime.

875
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,500
I don't know what that means.

876
00:27:58,500 --> 00:28:01,800
It means it's super-suspicious
that you're here right now.

877
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:04,700
And it makes me feel like
you have some secrets.

878
00:28:04,700 --> 00:28:06,500
Well, I don't.

879
00:28:06,500 --> 00:28:08,200
(clicks pen)

880
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,500
Any-who, when you fellas
finish playing Hardy Boys,

881
00:28:11,500 --> 00:28:13,300
don't forget to pay this ticket

882
00:28:13,300 --> 00:28:15,500
for those open
alcohol containers.

883
00:28:20,500 --> 00:28:21,900
SERGEANT:
And...

884
00:28:21,900 --> 00:28:25,000
this one is for putting up
200 flyers without a permit.

885
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:25,800
What?!

886
00:28:25,900 --> 00:28:27,300
I'm sorry, guys.

887
00:28:29,300 --> 00:28:31,700
You fellas have a safe night.

888
00:28:31,700 --> 00:28:33,400
Hit it, Chucho.

889
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:36,200
(siren whoops)

890
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:40,500
Goddamn it!

891
00:28:40,500 --> 00:28:41,700
I know he remembers me!

892
00:28:41,700 --> 00:28:43,100
He's just messing with my head!

893
00:28:43,100 --> 00:28:44,300
You can't drink
in your car anymore?

894
00:28:44,300 --> 00:28:46,500
What the hell is
this country coming to?

895
00:28:46,500 --> 00:28:48,500
(cell phone ringtone playing)

896
00:28:48,500 --> 00:28:50,500
Evan Trautwig.

897
00:28:50,500 --> 00:28:53,400
Yes, of course.

898
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:56,700
Noise complaint at
the football field.

899
00:28:56,700 --> 00:28:58,900
This is it, guys.

900
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,900
It's our first call.

901
00:29:00,900 --> 00:29:02,700
Hell, yeah. Let's roll!

902
00:29:02,700 --> 00:29:04,800
Let's do it.

903
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:07,800
(engine starts)

904
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:14,700
(tires screeching)

905
00:29:24,700 --> 00:29:27,200
You see anything?

906
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:28,600
Uh-uh.

907
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,600
Hello?

908
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,400
What the hell?

909
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:34,400
Turn off the lights!

910
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,100
(grunting)

911
00:29:36,100 --> 00:29:37,100
What?!

912
00:29:36,100 --> 00:29:37,400
I'm hit!

913
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,300
What the fuck is going on?!

914
00:29:39,300 --> 00:29:41,100
Robert, we're getting
ambushed here!

915
00:29:41,100 --> 00:29:43,100
They're kids!

916
00:29:41,100 --> 00:29:43,000
Eggs!

917
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,500
Yeah, we're getting egged!
It's raining eggs!

918
00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:45,600
We came to help!

919
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,200
Yolk's on you, ass wipes!

920
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,400
Yolk's on me?!
A fucking pun?!

921
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:51,500
I'm gonna kill this kid.

922
00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:53,500
I'm gonna kill you!

923
00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:53,200
Goddamn it!

924
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,300
They're getting away, Bob!

925
00:29:55,300 --> 00:29:56,300
No, they're not.

926
00:29:56,300 --> 00:29:58,000
Because one of us
is the founder

927
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,200
of the Glenview Running Club!

928
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:09,200
(yells)

929
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:12,000
(grunting)

930
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,200
Yeah, you fucked him up, man!

931
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:14,700
BOB:
Who's laughing now, kid?

932
00:30:14,700 --> 00:30:17,400
I bet you didn't egg-pect
to get your ass kicked.

933
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,300
Huh? You throw eggs at people,
you think that's funny?

934
00:30:19,300 --> 00:30:20,600
Look how much pain he's in.

935
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:21,900
Guess what you learned tonight.

936
00:30:21,900 --> 00:30:24,500
You don't mess with
the neighborhood watch, baby!

937
00:30:24,500 --> 00:30:25,900
Undefeated!

938
00:30:25,900 --> 00:30:27,900
Come on.

939
00:30:25,900 --> 00:30:27,700
Look at Evaroo

940
00:30:27,700 --> 00:30:29,500
with the high hands!

941
00:30:29,500 --> 00:30:30,500
(screams)

942
00:30:29,500 --> 00:30:30,900
Whoa!

943
00:30:30,900 --> 00:30:32,500
We got him!
We got him!

944
00:30:32,500 --> 00:30:34,000
(all shouting)

945
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,300
# La-da-da-da-da #

946
00:30:35,300 --> 00:30:36,700
# It's the motherfucking
D-O-double-G #

947
00:30:36,700 --> 00:30:39,100
# Snoop Dogg! #

948
00:30:39,100 --> 00:30:40,500
# La-da-da-da-da #

949
00:30:40,500 --> 00:30:42,700
# You know I'm mobbin'
with the D-R-E #

950
00:30:42,700 --> 00:30:44,000
# Yeah, yeah, yeah #

951
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:48,000
# You know who's back up
in this motherfucker #

952
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,500
# What, what, what, what. #

953
00:30:49,500 --> 00:30:50,900
Ha-ha!

954
00:30:50,900 --> 00:30:52,100
That's right.

955
00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:53,900
Neighborhood Watch.

956
00:30:53,900 --> 00:30:56,300
Suck a fat dick, Chucho.

957
00:30:56,300 --> 00:30:58,400
What's going on here, guys?

958
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:00,500
Egging, Sergeant.

959
00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:01,700
Guy's an egger.

960
00:31:01,700 --> 00:31:02,900
Eggs, huh?

961
00:31:02,900 --> 00:31:05,100
Yeah, eggs:
The coward's weapon.

962
00:31:05,100 --> 00:31:06,400
It's good you brought him in.

963
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:10,500
Then he tried to run away
on his little skitter-board.

964
00:31:10,500 --> 00:31:11,500
Did you really?

965
00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:12,600
Hmm?

966
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,500
Get back to the playground
and the monkey bars.

967
00:31:15,500 --> 00:31:18,300
You think it's nice to
throw eggs at people?

968
00:31:18,300 --> 00:31:19,200
Do you?

969
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,400
You gonna answer the question?

970
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:22,800
It's rude.

971
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,200
It hurts people's feelings
and it hurts their faces.

972
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:28,200
And now you deal with
the consequences.

973
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:29,900
Homegirl's trying
to make an omelet.

974
00:31:29,900 --> 00:31:31,900
Yeah, look at me.

975
00:31:29,900 --> 00:31:31,400
Look at his face.

976
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:32,400
Look at my face.

977
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:33,600
Look at his face
and listen to me.

978
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:34,600
Look at him and listen to me.

979
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:36,000
Look at him and understand me.

980
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,900
Look at both of us,
but understand no one.

981
00:31:37,900 --> 00:31:40,100
Listen to my words
and hear his face.

982
00:31:40,100 --> 00:31:41,100
EVAN:
Do you think it is funny

983
00:31:41,100 --> 00:31:42,500
to throw an egg
in somebody's face?

984
00:31:42,500 --> 00:31:43,800
FRANKLIN: You think it's funny?
You think it's a yolk?

985
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:45,100
I'll shove a full egg
inside your asshole

986
00:31:45,100 --> 00:31:46,200
and watch it hatch.

987
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,200
Franklin. Inappropriate.

988
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,100
Sorry.

989
00:31:48,100 --> 00:31:49,600
No, I understand, it's too far.

990
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:50,700
Sorry.

991
00:31:50,700 --> 00:31:53,100
She's all yours.

992
00:31:53,100 --> 00:31:55,900
Great work.

993
00:31:56,900 --> 00:31:59,400
Here's your bag.

994
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:06,100
Well, that was super weird.

995
00:32:06,100 --> 00:32:07,900
Am I under arrest?

996
00:32:07,900 --> 00:32:09,500
Of course not.
Those guys are a joke.

997
00:32:09,500 --> 00:32:11,500
Okay, can one of you guys give
me a ride home or something?

998
00:32:11,500 --> 00:32:12,600
Fuck no.

999
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:13,800
I'm not a chauffer
and neither is

1000
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:15,500
Chucho over here, right, buddy?

1001
00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:16,500
Get out of here.

1002
00:32:17,500 --> 00:32:19,200
Real nice.

1003
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,100
(electricity crackling)

1004
00:32:37,100 --> 00:32:38,500
(chittering)

1005
00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:41,700
Hello?

1006
00:32:41,700 --> 00:32:43,700
(sparks popping)

1007
00:32:46,700 --> 00:32:48,500
Okay, yeah.

1008
00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:50,000
Really hilarious!

1009
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,100
Hey, quit screwing around!

1010
00:32:51,100 --> 00:32:52,200
I'm gonna pelt somebody!

1011
00:32:52,300 --> 00:32:54,600
(metal thuds, creaks)

1012
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:56,200
Screw you!

1013
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:57,500
I'm out of here!

1014
00:33:02,500 --> 00:33:03,500
(eerie screech)

1015
00:33:05,500 --> 00:33:07,100
Come on, leave me alone!

1016
00:33:07,100 --> 00:33:08,500
(eerie growling)

1017
00:33:10,500 --> 00:33:11,600
Leave me alone!

1018
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:13,800
(screeching)

1019
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:17,100
(car alarm blaring)

1020
00:33:17,100 --> 00:33:19,500
(rock music playing)

1021
00:33:19,500 --> 00:33:21,900
FRANKLIN:
We are fucking gods!

1022
00:33:21,900 --> 00:33:23,200
BOB:
What do you say, Evan?

1023
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:24,700
# You ain't seen nothing yet #

1024
00:33:24,700 --> 00:33:26,000
Come back again.

1025
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:29,000
# B-B-B-Baby, you just
ain't seen nothing yet #

1026
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,600
Tell me about it,
tell me about it.

1027
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,500
(all mumbling words)

1028
00:33:32,500 --> 00:33:33,800
What-what-what?

1029
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:37,800
# B-B-B-Baby, you just
ain't seen nothing yet #

1030
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,800
Damn right! You been around!

1031
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:40,800
(singing guitar solo)

1032
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:41,800
All the way from
London, England,

1033
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:43,200
put your hands together.

1034
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,300
Make him feel welcome,
everybody.

1035
00:33:45,300 --> 00:33:47,500
BOB:
Jamarky-Mark!

1036
00:33:47,500 --> 00:33:50,100
(mumbling):
# Any love is good lovin' #

1037
00:33:50,100 --> 00:33:51,300
Here we go.

1038
00:33:51,300 --> 00:33:53,500
# So I took what I could get #

1039
00:33:53,500 --> 00:33:55,600
# Yes, I took
what I could get... #

1040
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:57,400
(mumbling words loudly)

1041
00:33:57,500 --> 00:33:58,400
(loud thump)

1042
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:00,300
(music stops, tires screeching)

1043
00:34:00,300 --> 00:34:02,300
Oh!

1044
00:34:00,300 --> 00:34:02,200
Oh, shit!

1045
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:03,600
BOB: Is everyone all right?
You guys okay?

1046
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,300
We hit someone.
We just... we have hit someone.

1047
00:34:05,300 --> 00:34:06,300
- What?
- Was it a kid?

1048
00:34:06,300 --> 00:34:07,300
Oh, no.

1049
00:34:06,300 --> 00:34:07,900
Evan, did you hit a kid?

1050
00:34:07,900 --> 00:34:09,100
No. What?

1051
00:34:09,100 --> 00:34:10,900
Why did you take your eyes
off the road to sing?

1052
00:34:10,900 --> 00:34:12,800
There's beer and piss
all over the car.

1053
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:14,300
Hey, everyone just stay calm
for a second.

1054
00:34:14,300 --> 00:34:15,300
Let's focus. Just relax.

1055
00:34:14,300 --> 00:34:15,800
We can't calm down.

1056
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,100
There's open alcohol,
we're inebriated,

1057
00:34:18,100 --> 00:34:19,500
I have weed in my pocket.

1058
00:34:19,500 --> 00:34:21,500
Evan could get
15 years to life for this.

1059
00:34:21,500 --> 00:34:22,400
What?!

1060
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:23,400
Don't worry about that.

1061
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:23,900
Oh, God!

1062
00:34:23,900 --> 00:34:25,800
This can't happen to me.
No, no, no, you don't get it.

1063
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:27,400
So here's what we do,
we focus on the living.

1064
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:28,700
Just drive us out of here.

1065
00:34:28,700 --> 00:34:30,700
Just drive away!

1066
00:34:28,700 --> 00:34:30,100
I'm not gonna drive away.

1067
00:34:30,100 --> 00:34:31,100
I'm gonna see what it is.

1068
00:34:31,100 --> 00:34:33,700
Evan. Shit.

1069
00:34:39,700 --> 00:34:41,700
What is it?

1070
00:34:41,700 --> 00:34:42,900
Looks like you just

1071
00:34:42,900 --> 00:34:46,300
hit some freakishly
big fly or something.

1072
00:34:50,300 --> 00:34:52,100
What the fuck is this thing?

1073
00:34:54,100 --> 00:34:57,400
Looks like an octopus tentacle
or something.

1074
00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,100
BOB:
All right, well, I think

1075
00:34:59,100 --> 00:35:00,300
it's very obvious what,

1076
00:35:00,300 --> 00:35:01,300
what happened here, guys.

1077
00:35:01,300 --> 00:35:02,300
It doesn't take, you know,

1078
00:35:02,300 --> 00:35:03,600
a brain surgeon
to figure this one out.

1079
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:06,500
Evan accidentally...
obviously, right...

1080
00:35:06,500 --> 00:35:08,500
hit a crate that fell
off the back of a truck

1081
00:35:08,500 --> 00:35:10,200
that just so happened
to be carrying

1082
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:12,200
some freshly caught octopus

1083
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,000
to a nearby sushi
establishment.

1084
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:16,800
It's octopus, and a fresh one.

1085
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:19,600
Right, you got nothing but the
thing and the octopus and this,

1086
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,200
and I think we pack it in
and we know what happened.

1087
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,200
Okay, worst-case scenario:

1088
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,000
Evan murdered a Japanese man
who was eating octopus

1089
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,000
while crossing the street.

1090
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,000
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...

1091
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:29,000
I didn't... come on,

1092
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:30,800
I did not murder anybody.

1093
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:31,900
Doesn't matter.

1094
00:35:31,900 --> 00:35:33,300
You know why?

1095
00:35:33,300 --> 00:35:35,300
'Cause no one's going to say
shit about this to anybody

1096
00:35:35,300 --> 00:35:36,500
'cause we don't dime

1097
00:35:36,500 --> 00:35:38,700
on our fellow neighborhood
watchers, okay?

1098
00:35:40,700 --> 00:35:42,700
Wait a second,
I've seen this stuff before.

1099
00:35:42,700 --> 00:35:45,600
Back at Costco, this was
the stuff by Antonio's body.

1100
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:48,200
Had he just won a Nickelodeon's
Kids' Choice Award?

1101
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:49,800
Franklin, he was dead.

1102
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:51,800
So he wasn't eligible.

1103
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:51,600
That's pretty amazing, then,

1104
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:53,300
that he won 'cause usually
you have to do some sort

1105
00:35:53,300 --> 00:35:56,700
of kids type thing
to win that award.

1106
00:35:58,700 --> 00:36:00,500
Feels like cum.

1107
00:36:00,500 --> 00:36:01,500
Ew.

1108
00:36:00,500 --> 00:36:01,800
Well, I dare anyone

1109
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:03,800
to touch it and tell me
it doesn't feel like cum.

1110
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,500
May I?

1111
00:36:05,500 --> 00:36:07,400
Yeah, that's cum.

1112
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:08,700
Well, it's green, it's not cum,
but I'm saying

1113
00:36:08,700 --> 00:36:09,900
it's a cum...
it feels like cum.

1114
00:36:09,900 --> 00:36:12,000
The texture, the flavor,

1115
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:13,900
the color, the consistency...

1116
00:36:13,900 --> 00:36:16,800
It's very cum-like.

1117
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,900
Hey, guys, check this out,
I found something.

1118
00:36:18,900 --> 00:36:20,100
What is it?

1119
00:36:20,100 --> 00:36:21,900
I don't know.

1120
00:36:21,900 --> 00:36:25,400
Looks like a big silver
basketball or something.

1121
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,400
What is it?

1122
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,700
BOB:
It looks like a toy.

1123
00:36:35,700 --> 00:36:37,700
Whoa.

1124
00:36:35,700 --> 00:36:37,800
What the fuck is that?

1125
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:39,200
MAN:
What's going on

1126
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:40,200
up here?

1127
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:41,300
We got company.

1128
00:36:41,300 --> 00:36:43,000
What in the hell
are you people doing

1129
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:44,200
in my yard?!

1130
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:46,300
Hi, sorry, we're the
Neighborhood Watch.

1131
00:36:46,300 --> 00:36:47,800
We were just out on
a nightly patrol.

1132
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:49,100
How you doing?
I'm Evan Trautwig.

1133
00:36:49,100 --> 00:36:52,000
I got your neighborhood watch
right here, sweet lips.

1134
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,500
We-We're, we're
on your side, sir.

1135
00:36:53,500 --> 00:36:55,400
We're just wondering if
you heard anything strange

1136
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,500
or just anything out of
the ordinary tonight.

1137
00:36:57,500 --> 00:36:59,600
You mean, like four nitwits
standing around

1138
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,800
on my lawn in the middle
of the night?

1139
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:03,400
That's kind of strange,
don't you think?

1140
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:04,400
Okay.

1141
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:04,600
Hey, you know what, pal?

1142
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:06,200
If being overly aggressive
and a little bit snippy

1143
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:09,700
was a crime, I'd be making
a citizen's arrest right now.

1144
00:37:09,700 --> 00:37:11,700
Why don't you just shut your
cocksucker there, dickweed?

1145
00:37:11,700 --> 00:37:13,100
You know, we're taking time
out of our busy schedules

1146
00:37:13,100 --> 00:37:15,300
to help the neighborhood,
so I think you could just...

1147
00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:16,300
you know, you don't have to...

1148
00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:16,600
("Sailing" ringtone playing)

1149
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,700
Excuse me,
got a phone call here.

1150
00:37:19,700 --> 00:37:21,300
Hey, Bill.

1151
00:37:21,300 --> 00:37:22,300
Bill.

1152
00:37:21,300 --> 00:37:22,500
I got four members

1153
00:37:22,500 --> 00:37:24,300
of the Baby-sitters Club
up here...

1154
00:37:24,300 --> 00:37:25,300
It's the Neighborhood Watch.

1155
00:37:24,300 --> 00:37:25,800
...trying to solve some kind

1156
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,100
of mystery
before beddy-bye time.

1157
00:37:28,100 --> 00:37:30,100
I'll call you back later.

1158
00:37:28,100 --> 00:37:30,500
All right, okay, we...

1159
00:37:30,500 --> 00:37:32,700
It's okay, sir,
we get it, we're...

1160
00:37:32,700 --> 00:37:33,800
Thank you for...
We'll just...

1161
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:35,900
You guys,
I'm gonna count to ten.

1162
00:37:35,900 --> 00:37:37,200
Okay, you know what?
Let's start again.

1163
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:38,300
I'm gonna count to ten!

1164
00:37:38,300 --> 00:37:39,300
He wants to count.

1165
00:37:38,300 --> 00:37:39,700
Okay.

1166
00:37:39,700 --> 00:37:41,700
One...

1167
00:37:39,700 --> 00:37:41,300
Steal that cool ball.

1168
00:37:41,300 --> 00:37:43,500
...two, three...

1169
00:37:43,500 --> 00:37:44,800
Nice to meet you.

1170
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:46,200
Fuck you, Curly!

1171
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:47,500
...four.

1172
00:37:47,500 --> 00:37:51,000
Get in your goddamn
soccer mom van and move on out.

1173
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,000
(engine starts)

1174
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,000
Neighborhood Watch.

1175
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,500
What a fucking joke.

1176
00:37:57,500 --> 00:37:59,600
Look at this.

1177
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:01,600
Every time I stick a finger in,
another light goes on.

1178
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:03,400
That's weird.

1179
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:06,500
Hey, why don't we try to stick

1180
00:38:06,500 --> 00:38:07,900
all our fingers in
at the same time,

1181
00:38:07,900 --> 00:38:09,000
see what happens?

1182
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,400
All right, guys,

1183
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,100
let's all finger
these holes together.

1184
00:38:12,100 --> 00:38:13,500
This is a bad idea.

1185
00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:16,000
Oh, don't be such a pussy,
Jamarcus, come on.

1186
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,600
Come over here and finger-
bang this ball with us.

1187
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:19,600
I don't like this.

1188
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:21,600
Come on, Jamarcus.

1189
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:21,000
Okay,

1190
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,500
fine, but this is a bad idea.

1191
00:38:23,500 --> 00:38:24,500
Get your finger in there.

1192
00:38:23,500 --> 00:38:24,400
Okay.

1193
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:31,900
(cow moos)

1194
00:38:31,900 --> 00:38:32,900
Whoa!

1195
00:38:32,900 --> 00:38:34,000
Jesus!

1196
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:35,300
Shit! Holy shit!

1197
00:38:35,300 --> 00:38:36,900
Are you kidding me?

1198
00:38:36,900 --> 00:38:39,900
Did you see that shit?

1199
00:38:36,900 --> 00:38:39,000
That cow's fucking head

1200
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,300
exploded all over the place.

1201
00:38:40,300 --> 00:38:41,600
That's terrible for the cow,

1202
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:43,200
but this thing's
fucking awesome.

1203
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:44,600
This is a major find.

1204
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:45,800
This thing is the shit.

1205
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,400
Okay, nobody touches this ball

1206
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:49,100
till we figure out what it is.

1207
00:38:49,100 --> 00:38:51,100
We definitely should not
fuck around with this thing.

1208
00:38:51,100 --> 00:38:54,500
The last thing we want to
do is cause a disturbance.

1209
00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:57,400
("Straight Outta Compton"
by N.W.A playing)

1210
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:58,900
# Straight outta Compton... #

1211
00:38:58,900 --> 00:39:00,000
(all exclaiming)

1212
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,000
Good-bye, tractor!

1213
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:02,900
Whoo!

1214
00:39:02,900 --> 00:39:04,500
So sick.

1215
00:39:04,500 --> 00:39:06,800
# Kick knowledge
and bodies are hauled off #

1216
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,100
# You, too, boy,
if you get with me... #

1217
00:39:09,100 --> 00:39:10,800
Yeah, the ball!

1218
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:13,900
# Off your back,
that's how I'm goin' out... #

1219
00:39:13,900 --> 00:39:15,800
(all exclaiming)

1220
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,500
Whoo!

1221
00:39:19,500 --> 00:39:22,000
# Cook 'em in a pot
like gumbo... #

1222
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:23,200
Whoo!

1223
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:24,200
Hey!

1224
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,500
Hay, yeah! Hay, now.

1225
00:39:26,500 --> 00:39:27,800
(overlapping chatter)

1226
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:29,300
BOB:
Hey, wait, that's hilarious.

1227
00:39:29,300 --> 00:39:30,500
That was so fun.

1228
00:39:30,500 --> 00:39:31,800
I mean, we blew

1229
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:33,300
that shit up.

1230
00:39:33,300 --> 00:39:35,300
That cow's fucking head
just poofed, just puffed.

1231
00:39:33,300 --> 00:39:35,900
Oh, man.

1232
00:39:35,900 --> 00:39:37,100
Guys, this is not
from this world.

1233
00:39:37,100 --> 00:39:38,700
I, I, I think it could be
the government, you know.

1234
00:39:38,700 --> 00:39:41,000
There are lots of these kind
of prototypes that you find.

1235
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:42,600
It's always the government.

1236
00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:43,800
I don't disagree
that there could be

1237
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:45,000
a government or an alien

1238
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,100
or where governments
and aliens connect.

1239
00:39:47,100 --> 00:39:49,300
Get the fuck out of here, man,
this is not alien shit.

1240
00:39:49,300 --> 00:39:50,300
EVAN: I think you're paranoid.

1241
00:39:49,300 --> 00:39:50,600
I'm not paranoid.

1242
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:52,000
Everything is on
the table; right now

1243
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,000
we don't take anything off.

1244
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,300
This was probably on the way

1245
00:39:53,300 --> 00:39:54,700
to the fucking Mac Store,
and it fell off the truck.

1246
00:39:54,700 --> 00:39:55,900
What the fuck is this?
This is like

1247
00:39:55,900 --> 00:39:58,700
a Magical 8 Ball bowling
ball that blows shit up.

1248
00:39:58,700 --> 00:40:00,000
I'm trying to find
a killer here.

1249
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,000
Right, a killer alien.

1250
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,600
It's a...

1251
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:02,700
Somebody killed Antonio.

1252
00:40:02,700 --> 00:40:03,900
Okay, I don't know
if they're an alien,

1253
00:40:03,900 --> 00:40:05,100
I don't know
if it was an octopus.

1254
00:40:05,100 --> 00:40:06,800
I don't know what it was
or who it was,

1255
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:07,900
but this has something
to do with it, right?

1256
00:40:07,900 --> 00:40:09,900
You. Well, you.

1257
00:40:07,900 --> 00:40:09,000
Yes, that's a yes.

1258
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:10,400
Let's go to the things
we can agree on.

1259
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,400
We don't know what it is.

1260
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,400
That's correct as well.

1261
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:14,400
It's the same goo that was
on Antonio's body.

1262
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:14,900
This is

1263
00:40:14,900 --> 00:40:16,700
information you're sharing,
and I'll say yes to it.

1264
00:40:16,700 --> 00:40:19,300
The goo was on the car,
the orb was near the car.

1265
00:40:19,300 --> 00:40:21,000
Let's call her Lucy.

1266
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:22,000
The second after
we find Lucy...

1267
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:22,500
BOB: Lucy.

1268
00:40:22,500 --> 00:40:24,400
...who kicks us
off his property?

1269
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:26,400
Crazy old guy with a shotgun.

1270
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:28,900
Why'd he want us
off his property?

1271
00:40:28,900 --> 00:40:30,900
- Why did he not want us near the ball or the goo?
- Right?

1272
00:40:30,900 --> 00:40:32,500
This is the guy, we got
to kick his tires.

1273
00:40:32,500 --> 00:40:33,700
There's something we
got to figure out.

1274
00:40:33,700 --> 00:40:35,300
I think we dress
Franklin up as a girl

1275
00:40:35,300 --> 00:40:38,200
named Fran-Francesca, he goes
to the door as a salesman

1276
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,200
because they'll suspect him any
other way. He's pretty enough.

1277
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:41,200
I'm, I'm listening.

1278
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:41,900
He's an attractive guy

1279
00:40:41,900 --> 00:40:43,900
and he has the features
where he can fool 'em.

1280
00:40:43,900 --> 00:40:46,900
- Feminine features.
- So we put Franklin in a costume,

1281
00:40:46,900 --> 00:40:48,900
send him for the old man.

1282
00:40:46,900 --> 00:40:48,300
He's lonely, he's lonely.

1283
00:40:48,300 --> 00:40:49,700
He'll let Franklin
in the house.

1284
00:40:49,700 --> 00:40:51,700
Boom, he's in.

1285
00:40:49,700 --> 00:40:51,400
We're inside the house.

1286
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:53,100
Now it's intel,
he's under the radar.

1287
00:40:53,100 --> 00:40:55,100
It's an attractive lady
showing up.

1288
00:40:55,100 --> 00:40:57,900
His liver-spotted hands are
going to want to caress her.

1289
00:40:57,900 --> 00:40:59,500
Can I tell you something, Bob?

1290
00:40:59,500 --> 00:41:00,500
BOB:
Mm-hmm.

1291
00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:02,000
That could work.

1292
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:03,100
Yes!

1293
00:41:03,100 --> 00:41:04,100
FRANKLIN: Here's the thing.

1294
00:41:03,100 --> 00:41:04,700
Finally!

1295
00:41:04,700 --> 00:41:06,500
I'm not going to go past
second with this old guy,

1296
00:41:06,500 --> 00:41:07,800
but if I have to, I will.

1297
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:08,800
I think it's important we get,

1298
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:10,300
we get really, really confirmed

1299
00:41:10,300 --> 00:41:12,100
on what you're prepared to
do so it's not a new thing.

1300
00:41:12,100 --> 00:41:13,100
Let's talk about it.

1301
00:41:12,100 --> 00:41:13,700
I will use both hands.

1302
00:41:13,700 --> 00:41:14,800
I won't use a mouth.

1303
00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:16,300
He may use his hands and
may not use his mouth.

1304
00:41:16,300 --> 00:41:17,600
Well, I think you got

1305
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:18,800
to make it all go down
before you get found out.

1306
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:19,900
FRANKLIN:
Here's the issue.

1307
00:41:19,900 --> 00:41:21,100
What's the best-
case on this one?

1308
00:41:21,100 --> 00:41:22,300
Okay, here's the
best-case scenario:

1309
00:41:22,300 --> 00:41:23,600
He's a lonely old man,
he wants to waltz,

1310
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:24,700
he wants to listen to some

1311
00:41:24,700 --> 00:41:26,400
of the old songs
from his childhood.

1312
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,000
Worst-case scenario: you're
getting fucked in the ass.

1313
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:30,500
Either way we're gonna find
out who this old man is.

1314
00:41:30,500 --> 00:41:33,100
Either way we're gonna get
involved in this guy's life.

1315
00:41:33,100 --> 00:41:35,400
Here's the pressing question:
What do we do with this?

1316
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,400
We don't give it to the cops.

1317
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,000
JAMARCUS: Agreed.

1318
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:38,700
This is ours;
No one hears about it.

1319
00:41:38,700 --> 00:41:40,300
EVAN:
I don't know, but we keep it

1320
00:41:40,300 --> 00:41:41,400
a Neighborhood Watch secret.

1321
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:42,400
Cheers.

1322
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:42,600
Well, we're in the game.

1323
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,200
To the watch.

1324
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:45,200
Boom.

1325
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:47,300
(engine stops)

1326
00:41:49,300 --> 00:41:51,900
(sighs)

1327
00:41:57,900 --> 00:41:59,100
Ew.

1328
00:42:10,100 --> 00:42:13,800
(dog barks in distance)

1329
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:20,600
(tapping keys)

1330
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:27,600
"OMG, Mandy's party
is so awesome."

1331
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:29,900
Good for Mandy.

1332
00:42:29,900 --> 00:42:31,900
Frickin' kidding me, right?

1333
00:42:31,900 --> 00:42:33,800
(partiers whooping on video)

1334
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:45,100
Chelsea!

1335
00:42:45,100 --> 00:42:46,400
Dad, what the F?

1336
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:47,400
Don't F me.

1337
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:49,400
Who's this boy toy named Jason?

1338
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,400
Boy toy?

1339
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,200
What's his toy story?

1340
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:54,600
Oh, wait, were you creeping
on my Facebook again?

1341
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:55,600
Are you kidding me?

1342
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,500
You're gonna let
some guy car-wash

1343
00:42:57,500 --> 00:42:59,200
the inside of your mouth
with his tongue

1344
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,400
and then you're gonna post it
on the Internet?

1345
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:02,800
Stop Internet stalking me, okay?

1346
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,200
Just get out of my room.

1347
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:05,600
You don't see me and your mom
posting our sessions

1348
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:06,600
on the Internet, do you?

1349
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:06,800
Ew, that's

1350
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:08,800
disgusting, Dad.

1351
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:08,400
Well, how do you
think that makes

1352
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:09,400
me feel? It is disgusting.

1353
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:10,800
You keep your tongue
in your mouth.

1354
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:12,900
And what's going on
with this collage?

1355
00:43:12,900 --> 00:43:14,100
This is moving
in the direction of, like,

1356
00:43:14,100 --> 00:43:15,100
strippers on spring break.

1357
00:43:14,100 --> 00:43:15,300
Oh, my God.

1358
00:43:15,300 --> 00:43:16,500
That's a collage
of my friends, Dad.

1359
00:43:16,500 --> 00:43:17,500
This is uncomfortable.

1360
00:43:17,500 --> 00:43:18,800
The whole thing's
uncomfortable.

1361
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:20,000
I'm not comfortable with
what's going on, Chelsea.

1362
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:21,800
If you're uncomfortable,
then get out.

1363
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:25,800
Sex is for love.

1364
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:25,200
Sex is for love.

1365
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,000
Here's what's happening
now... the video's off.

1366
00:43:27,100 --> 00:43:28,800
Okay, Dad, I'm gonna
get the video off.

1367
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:30,800
Fine, right, okay.

1368
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:30,100
Or we got a problem.

1369
00:43:30,100 --> 00:43:31,100
Please get out.

1370
00:43:30,100 --> 00:43:31,600
Houston, we have a problem.

1371
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:32,600
Okay, Dad, that's good.

1372
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:34,600
Really productive conversation.

1373
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:36,600
Seriously, really.

1374
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:36,200
We should do more of it.

1375
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:41,700
Right on the edge.

1376
00:43:41,700 --> 00:43:43,400
You're right on the edge.

1377
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,800
# #

1378
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:04,100
(phone chirps)

1379
00:44:09,100 --> 00:44:13,400
# You and tequila
make me crazy... #

1380
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:14,400
Hey.

1381
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:14,900
Hey, buddy.

1382
00:44:14,900 --> 00:44:16,700
BOB: Come on, I saved
a seat for you.

1383
00:44:16,700 --> 00:44:18,700
Said you were desperate.

1384
00:44:18,700 --> 00:44:20,100
Yeah, here, take a load off.

1385
00:44:20,100 --> 00:44:22,700
Look, I know we're trying to
catch the Costco Killer, but,

1386
00:44:22,700 --> 00:44:24,200
well, it's good to have
an honest heart-to-heart

1387
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:26,900
with just a couple
of guys, right?

1388
00:44:26,900 --> 00:44:27,900
There's my boy.

1389
00:44:27,900 --> 00:44:29,900
(clanking)

1390
00:44:27,900 --> 00:44:29,200
Bring it down here.

1391
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,000
Get in here.

1392
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:33,200
It's all about honesty, right?

1393
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:34,300
Mm-hmm.

1394
00:44:34,300 --> 00:44:35,800
I've been being honest
with my daughter.

1395
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:37,500
I don't think
she wants to hear it.

1396
00:44:37,500 --> 00:44:38,700
(chuckles)

1397
00:44:38,700 --> 00:44:40,600
My wife's been traveling
so much for work that a,

1398
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,800
you know, a lot of the parenting
stuff has fallen on me lately.

1399
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:45,100
How about you?

1400
00:44:45,100 --> 00:44:48,900
When are you going to take the
plunge and knock a few out?

1401
00:44:48,900 --> 00:44:51,400
Uh, it's not that simple.

1402
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:55,600
Well, it's about as simple as
putting your dick in a vagina.

1403
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:57,000
You know what I mean?
Make it happen.

1404
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:00,000
Well, I don't really
have a choice, so...

1405
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:06,900
It turns out that my
gun doesn't really

1406
00:45:06,900 --> 00:45:08,800
shoot too well.

1407
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,800
Gun?

1408
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,300
Yeah.

1409
00:45:10,300 --> 00:45:11,400
You mean your prick?

1410
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:12,500
Why are you saying "gun"?

1411
00:45:12,500 --> 00:45:13,800
This is two guys
sitting on a bench.

1412
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:15,700
You can say it,
say "prick," say "cock."

1413
00:45:15,700 --> 00:45:17,000
Just say "prick."
Anyway, did you take

1414
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:18,100
a couple of those blue bombers?

1415
00:45:18,100 --> 00:45:19,100
No.

1416
00:45:18,100 --> 00:45:19,600
Got to get that wang
nice and stiff

1417
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:20,600
and get you all monstered up.

1418
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:22,600
N-No, no, no.

1419
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:22,100
Oh, it will,

1420
00:45:22,100 --> 00:45:23,100
and then you'll be fucking
like a champ in no time.

1421
00:45:22,100 --> 00:45:23,700
No.

1422
00:45:23,700 --> 00:45:25,700
No, I can, I, that's...

1423
00:45:23,700 --> 00:45:25,600
I know a guy
that'll give you some

1424
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:27,600
and I got some from Mexico...

1425
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:27,500
That's not the problem.

1426
00:45:27,500 --> 00:45:28,500
That's not the problem.

1427
00:45:27,500 --> 00:45:28,900
I'll get you some

1428
00:45:28,900 --> 00:45:30,900
of those Mexican bombs.

1429
00:45:28,900 --> 00:45:30,800
I can do everything.

1430
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:33,300
It's just that, uh...

1431
00:45:34,300 --> 00:45:36,900
I'm... about a year
and a half ago...

1432
00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:39,900
Okay.

1433
00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:39,100
Abby and I started trying

1434
00:45:39,100 --> 00:45:40,100
to have kids...

1435
00:45:39,100 --> 00:45:40,300
Mm-hmm.

1436
00:45:40,300 --> 00:45:42,500
...and nothing
was happening, so,

1437
00:45:42,500 --> 00:45:46,200
on my own, I went to see this
doctor, to get my sperm checked.

1438
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:47,500
You know, I've always
wondered about that.

1439
00:45:47,500 --> 00:45:49,600
I've just had a curiosity
about it if you don't mind.

1440
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,700
When you go to one
of those doctors,

1441
00:45:51,700 --> 00:45:53,200
do you jerk yourself off

1442
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:54,900
or does the doctor,
like, jerk you off

1443
00:45:54,900 --> 00:45:56,200
or, like, an assistant?

1444
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:58,300
Is it like a massage parlor or
do they have, like, a machine,

1445
00:45:58,300 --> 00:46:00,000
like, a medical machine
that does the milking for you?

1446
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,900
Like, milks you like an animal?

1447
00:46:03,900 --> 00:46:05,700
I'm asking how you get
the cum out of you.

1448
00:46:05,700 --> 00:46:07,700
I...

1449
00:46:05,700 --> 00:46:07,000
They do it.

1450
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:10,000
No, I jerked me off.

1451
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:11,000
Okay.

1452
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:11,400
Doesn't matter.

1453
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:15,300
The point is, I went,
I got tested,

1454
00:46:15,300 --> 00:46:19,000
and... no go.

1455
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,800
I'm shooting blanks.

1456
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:23,700
I, I could shoot a bucketful,

1457
00:46:23,700 --> 00:46:25,100
it would make no difference.

1458
00:46:25,100 --> 00:46:28,900
Doctor's actual words...
"a bucketful."

1459
00:46:28,900 --> 00:46:31,300
It's because of me,
we can't have kids.

1460
00:46:31,300 --> 00:46:33,200
Just me.

1461
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:35,700
I didn't realize that
that's such a big deal.

1462
00:46:35,700 --> 00:46:36,900
I mean, it's 2012.

1463
00:46:36,900 --> 00:46:39,400
Can't you just get,
like, a ball transplant?

1464
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:43,300
Yeah, I don't think the
science is there yet.

1465
00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:46,500
What'd the old lady say
when you told her?

1466
00:46:49,500 --> 00:46:50,500
Evaroony, don't tell me

1467
00:46:50,500 --> 00:46:52,200
that you haven't talked
to her about it.

1468
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:55,900
Well, what am I going to say?

1469
00:46:55,900 --> 00:46:58,300
Hey, honey, guess what?

1470
00:46:58,300 --> 00:47:01,500
The one thing you want
most in the world,

1471
00:47:01,500 --> 00:47:04,000
I can't give you.

1472
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:07,000
Evan, you listen to me.

1473
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:09,800
You talk to Abby.

1474
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:11,700
She married you,

1475
00:47:11,700 --> 00:47:13,800
not your dead jizz.

1476
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:16,300
Thanks.

1477
00:47:16,300 --> 00:47:18,600
("Shave and a Haircut" ringtone
playing)

1478
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:23,000
Evan Trautwig.

1479
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,400
(over phone):
Hey, this is Manfred Salisbury.

1480
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:26,400
Are you on my roof?

1481
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:26,900
What?

1482
00:47:26,900 --> 00:47:28,700
Well, there's somebody
on my roof

1483
00:47:28,700 --> 00:47:29,800
jumping around like a maniac.

1484
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:31,000
Is that one of you idiots?

1485
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:33,200
It most certainly is not.

1486
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:35,500
Uh, please just hang
tight, Mr. Salisbury,

1487
00:47:35,500 --> 00:47:36,500
we'll be right there.

1488
00:47:36,500 --> 00:47:37,600
Yeah, I'll bet you will.

1489
00:47:37,600 --> 00:47:39,400
Got to get to Manfred's.

1490
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:41,700
Call the Watch; come on.

1491
00:47:50,700 --> 00:47:52,700
Nobody's here.

1492
00:47:53,700 --> 00:47:54,800
Seriously?

1493
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:55,900
You see anybody on the roof?

1494
00:47:55,900 --> 00:47:57,800
No.

1495
00:47:57,800 --> 00:47:59,800
Okay, we should fan out.
Franklin,

1496
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:00,900
you and Bob get
in the car, check

1497
00:48:00,900 --> 00:48:01,900
the block, see if
you get any action.

1498
00:48:01,900 --> 00:48:03,400
Jamarcus and I will
go around back.

1499
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:05,400
Okay.

1500
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:05,700
Got it.

1501
00:48:05,700 --> 00:48:07,000
很好
Good.

1502
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:08,400
嘿，兄弟们，保持专注
Hey, guys, let's stay focused.

1503
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:10,500
我们现在是在作战，明白？
We're in the field, right?

1504
00:48:10,500 --> 00:48:11,500
好的
Okay.

1505
00:48:11,500 --> 00:48:13,000
N.W.

1506
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,600


1507
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:23,600


1508
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:27,600
- 嘘......
- # Sailing... #

1509
00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:28,900
听到没？

1510
00:48:28,900 --> 00:48:32,700
# Takes me away to where
I've always heard #

1511
00:48:32,700 --> 00:48:35,000


1512
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:38,000
# Takes me away
to where I've al... #

1513
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:39,000


1514
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:40,900
这个是Manfred的
This is Manfred's.

1515
00:48:40,900 --> 00:48:42,900
这可不太妙
This is not good.

1516
00:48:40,900 --> 00:48:42,100


1517
00:48:48,100 --> 00:48:49,900
那是什么？
What is that?

1518
00:48:49,900 --> 00:48:51,800
我不知道...
I don't know.

1519
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:55,100


1520
00:48:59,100 --> 00:49:01,900
我的天啊..
Oh, my God.

1521
00:49:01,900 --> 00:49:02,900
伊万...
Evan...

1522
00:49:02,900 --> 00:49:05,700
我们现在应该逃命..
we should run for our lives.

1523
00:49:05,700 --> 00:49:09,200


1524
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:11,100
咱们应该过去看看
We should go up to it.

1525
00:49:11,100 --> 00:49:12,400
为什么？
Why would we go up to it?

1526
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:14,000
咱们 应该 去
We should go.

1527
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,100
看起来真可怕...
It looks scared.

1528
00:49:16,100 --> 00:49:17,400
可能他现在受伤了
Maybe he's injured.

1529
00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:19,600
说不定那就是撞上汽车的那个
Maybe that's what we hit in the car.

1530
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:21,700
对..还说不定他现在很不爽...
Yeah, and maybe he's really pissed off about it

1531
00:49:21,700 --> 00:49:23,300
并且想要吃掉我们
and is going to eat us.

1532
00:49:23,300 --> 00:49:25,500
只有一种方法可以知道...
Only one way to find out.

1533
00:49:27,500 --> 00:49:29,500
拜托...
Come on.

1534
00:49:29,500 --> 00:49:31,900
伊万
Evan.

1535
00:49:31,900 --> 00:49:35,000


1536
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:40,500
伊万，你他妈的在干什么？
Evan, what the fuck are you doing?

1537
00:49:40,500 --> 00:49:42,700
它显然不会懂我们的语言
It obviously doesn't understand our language.

1538
00:49:42,700 --> 00:49:47,600
我要用“友好”的语调来显示我们没有敌意
I'm making friendly tones to show it that we mean no harm.

1539
00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:48,700
你...好...?
Hello...

1540
00:49:48,700 --> 00:49:52,700


1541
00:49:52,700 --> 00:49:55,300
哇哦.
Wow

1542
00:49:55,300 --> 00:49:56,700
天...
Oh, no.

1543
00:49:56,700 --> 00:49:59,000


1544
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:02,800
我能看见你
I see you.

1545
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:07,500
我...看见 你
I... see you.

1546
00:50:07,500 --> 00:50:09,100
你饿了？
Hungry?

1547
00:50:09,100 --> 00:50:11,000
要食物？
Food?

1548
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:12,600
食物...？
Food...?

1549
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:14,700
口香糖？
Gum?

1550
00:50:14,700 --> 00:50:16,700
这个不错
It's okay.

1551
00:50:16,700 --> 00:50:18,600
你可以嚼着吃
You just chew it.

1552
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:22,300
你想要吗？
You want some?

1553
00:50:22,300 --> 00:50:24,500
口香糖...香糖..
# Gum, gum #

1554
00:50:24,500 --> 00:50:25,900
口香糖...
# Gum #

1555
00:50:25,900 --> 00:50:28,500
给你...
# For you. #

1556
00:50:30,500 --> 00:50:33,600


1557
00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:37,900
他喜欢口香糖
He likes it.

1558
00:50:37,900 --> 00:50:39,100
Jamarcus，他喜欢口香糖！
Jamarcus, he likes it.

1559
00:50:39,100 --> 00:50:40,200
谁都喜欢口香糖！
Everyone likes gum.

1560
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:41,200
我们快走吧！
Let's go.

1561
00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:42,500
他正在挖什么东西
He's digging something.

1562
00:50:42,500 --> 00:50:45,100
他想给我们看什么...
He's got something,he wants to show us.

1563
00:50:45,100 --> 00:50:47,900
你是要互换礼物吗？
Want to share your gift, huh?

1564
00:50:49,900 --> 00:50:51,000
哦！他妈的！
Oh, mother of fuck!

1565
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:56,400


1566
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:57,400


1567
00:50:57,400 --> 00:50:59,100


1568
00:50:59,100 --> 00:51:00,800


1569
00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:03,500


1570
00:51:04,500 --> 00:51:06,700
Jamarcus，你呆在那干什么？
Jamarcus, what are you doing?

1571
00:51:06,700 --> 00:51:09,300
跑
Run, man.

1572
00:51:09,300 --> 00:51:11,200
快跑！
Run!

1573
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:17,400


1574
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:21,400
操！
Fucker!

1575
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:21,000


1576
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,800
欧...
Oh shit!

1577
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:27,800
天啊
Jesus.

1578
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:29,300
你还好吗？
You okay?

1579
00:51:29,300 --> 00:51:33,200
真令人紧张..
Uh, that was really stressful.

1580
00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:35,500
我觉得我杀了它了
I think I killed it.

1581
00:51:36,500 --> 00:51:37,700
发生了什么？
What's going on here?

1582
00:51:37,700 --> 00:51:38,500
先生们
Gentlemen,

1583
00:51:38,500 --> 00:51:39,900
我们成立邻里监督组织的时候
we formed the Neighborhood Watch

1584
00:51:39,900 --> 00:51:41,800
有一项特殊的任务：
with a very specific task:

1585
00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:45,200
找到杀死我朋友Antonio Guzman的凶手
To find the murderer of
my friend Antonio Guzman.

1586
00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:48,600
今晚，我要告诉你们...
Well, tonight, I say to you...

1587
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:52,100
我去！
Holy shit!

1588
00:51:52,100 --> 00:51:53,600
上帝啊！
Jesus Christ!

1589
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:55,000
这他妈的是啥？
What the fuck is that?!

1590
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:56,800
这是个外星人
It's an alien.

1591
00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:58,600
它先杀了Manfred，然后它想杀死Jamarcus
It killed Manfred, then it tried to kill Jamarcus,

1592
00:51:58,600 --> 00:51:59,700
我及时出现
and I came up

1593
00:51:59,700 --> 00:52:01,400
抓起一个花园地精玩偶狠狠地砸了它
and I nailed it with a garden gnome

1594
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:03,000
并把它脖子打断了，现在它死了
and it cracked its neck and it's dead.

1595
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:04,400
这他妈的也太疯狂了！
This is fucking insane.

1596
00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:06,200
我知道，我知道
I know, I know.

1597
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:07,900
我们努力找凶手，但是猜猜怎么着？
We tried to find a killer, but guess what...

1598
00:52:07,900 --> 00:52:09,300
我们找到了一个外星人！
we found a frickin' alien.

1599
00:52:09,300 --> 00:52:12,200
哦，这手感..这感觉...
Ooh, it touches it and it feels it... ugh!

1600
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:13,700
这种有智慧，
This intelligent,

1601
00:52:13,700 --> 00:52:16,600
有感情的生物
sentient being

1602
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:18,500
跨越无数光年
traveled untold light-years

1603
00:52:18,500 --> 00:52:21,800
来到这里，拜访我们的星球
to come and visit our planet.

1604
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:23,500
而你杀了他？！
And you killed him.

1605
00:52:25,500 --> 00:52:26,700
漂亮！
Nice!

1606
00:52:26,700 --> 00:52:28,100
伊万，太棒了！
Evan, yeah!

1607
00:52:28,100 --> 00:52:29,900
哈！他干掉了它！
Hah! He killed it.

1608
00:52:29,900 --> 00:52:31,900
我去..
Holy shit.

1609
00:52:29,900 --> 00:52:31,700
别管什么警察局了
Man, screw the police department.

1610
00:52:31,700 --> 00:52:34,400
我会凭这个而进入CIA的！
I'm gonna get into the CIA for this.

1611
00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:36,400
我觉得我们应该稳下来，并且对此保密..
I think we should slow down, we should keep this quiet.

1612
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:38,200
不然的话很快就会人人皆知
Or a hundred miles an hour and really loud,

1613
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:39,400
你们正看着一个外星人
because you're looking at an alien.

1614
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:40,600
我现在在考虑制作体恤衫
I'm thinking about T-shirts,

1615
00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:42,400
经营规划，电影业....
merchandising, movie deals...

1616
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:43,500
总之这东西让我快要疯了....
my mind's going crazy with this thing here.

1617
00:52:43,500 --> 00:52:45,100
好吧，谁想
All right, who wants

1618
00:52:45,100 --> 00:52:46,400
和这个外星人照张相？
a snapper with the alien?

1619
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:48,200
我想什么呢？好吧，来吧
What am I thinking? Right, let's go, bitches.

1620
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:49,500
我不想让你们紧张
I don't want to put pressure on you,

1621
00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:50,800
但这是一张历史性的照片
but it's the first historical picture

1622
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:53,400
第一张人类和外星人的合影，无论这对你意味着什么
of anyone with an alien, so whatever that means to you.

1623
00:52:53,400 --> 00:52:55,000
来了，准备，要拍了
Here we go, ready, and we're bringing it.

1624
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,400
来，给我也拍张
Here, let me share in the sunshine... somebody get in here.

1625
00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:01,000
她走着，她说着，她来了？
# Does she walk, does she talk, does she come complete? #

1626
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:05,100
# The memory of my angel
could never cause me pain #

1627
00:53:05,100 --> 00:53:09,600
# My blood runs cold, my memory has just been sold #

1628
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:14,100
# My angel is the centerfold,
angel is the centerfold #

1629
00:53:14,100 --> 00:53:18,300
娜...娜..娜.娜娜?
# Na, na, na-na, na, na, na-na, na, na, na, na-na, na, na #

1630
00:53:18,300 --> 00:53:19,500
离近点
Get close to it.

1631
00:53:19,500 --> 00:53:22,300
娜...娜..娜.娜娜?
# Na, na-na, na, na, na, na-na, na, na-na... #

1632
00:53:22,300 --> 00:53:23,900
耶！把你的JJ放它肩膀上
Yeah, put your dick on its shoulder.

1633
00:53:23,900 --> 00:53:25,100


1634
00:53:25,100 --> 00:53:26,400
嘣！
Boom

1635
00:53:26,500 --> 00:53:29,100
娜...娜..娜.娜娜 ?
# Na, na, na-na, na, na, na-na, na, na-na, na-na... #

1636
00:53:29,100 --> 00:53:31,800
# Make it last forever #

1637
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:34,700
# Ever... #

1638
00:53:34,700 --> 00:53:38,800
# Don't let our love end... #

1639
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:41,300


1640
00:53:41,300 --> 00:53:42,900
# Make it last forever #

1641
00:53:42,900 --> 00:53:45,900
# No, no, no, no, no #

1642
00:53:42,900 --> 00:53:45,200
# And ever. #

1643
00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:48,800


1644
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:52,300


1645
00:53:52,300 --> 00:53:54,800


1646
00:53:59,800 --> 00:54:01,700
伊万，救命！
Evan, help!

1647
00:54:05,700 --> 00:54:08,000


1648
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:09,000
啊..啊...
Uh, uh...

1649
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:11,900
上帝啊
Oh, my God.

1650
00:54:11,900 --> 00:54:13,400
Bob，台球伤不了它！
Bob, the pool balls aren't hurting him!

1651
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:14,700
Franklin，你得打中他！
Franklin, you've got to hit him.

1652
00:54:14,700 --> 00:54:16,700
干！
Fuck.

1653
00:54:14,700 --> 00:54:16,300
这可不是什么好靶子
This is bad aim.

1654
00:54:16,300 --> 00:54:17,800
别杀我！！
Please don't kill me!

1655
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:20,800
嘿，嘿！外星人！
Hey, hey, al-alien.

1656
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:20,200
你他妈的在干什么，Jamarcus？
What the fuck are you doing, Jamarcus?

1657
00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:21,500
它又不是只黄蜂！
He's not a bumblebee!

1658
00:54:21,500 --> 00:54:22,500
伊万，救命！它要杀了我！
Evan, help! He's gonna kill me

1659
00:54:22,500 --> 00:54:24,200
我不知道该怎么办了！
and I don't know what to do.

1660
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:25,100


1661
00:54:30,100 --> 00:54:31,500
哦，我去！
Oh, shit!

1662
00:54:33,500 --> 00:54:36,000
哦，我的天啊！我的上帝啊！
Oh, shit! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

1663
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,400
他要吃我的脸！
He's gonna eat my face!

1664
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:40,800


1665
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:43,500
他的黏液流进我嘴里了！
He's getting goo in my mouth!

1666
00:54:43,500 --> 00:54:45,500
把它拉开
Pull him up.

1667
00:54:43,500 --> 00:54:45,400
我的天啊
Oh, my God!

1668
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:46,900


1669
00:54:49,100 --> 00:54:50,700
Franklin,Jamarcus
Franklin, Jamarcus.

1670
00:54:50,700 --> 00:54:52,500


1671
00:54:55,500 --> 00:54:57,900
我都尝出这该死的黏液的味道了！
I can taste the fucking goo!

1672
00:54:57,900 --> 00:55:00,900
把它压倒
Bring him down.

1673
00:54:57,900 --> 00:55:00,200
这就对了，给我乖乖睡一觉
That's right.Give up, go to sleep.

1674
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:04,400
嘘...放轻松..睡上一觉
Shh, shh, relax, you go to sleep.

1675
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:08,300
我们已经在你们之中了..
We are already among you.

1676
00:55:08,300 --> 00:55:09,300


1677
00:55:19,300 --> 00:55:21,300
这他妈的怎么回事？
What the fuck was that?!

1678
00:55:21,300 --> 00:55:22,300


1679
00:55:21,300 --> 00:55:22,700
别去管那
You can forget about

1680
00:55:22,700 --> 00:55:24,200
该死的经营规划了
the damn merchandising play.

1681
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:25,200
大家都还好吗？
Is everyone all right?

1682
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:25,700


1683
00:55:25,700 --> 00:55:27,800
该死的外星人弄了我一脸
Fucking alien came on my face.

1684
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:28,800


1685
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:29,700
啊哦！
Ow！

1686
00:55:29,700 --> 00:55:31,200
你们听到什么了吗？
Did you hear that thing?

1687
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:33,300


1688
00:55:33,300 --> 00:55:34,900
“我们在你们之中？”
"We are among you"?

1689
00:55:34,900 --> 00:55:37,900
那是什么意思？
What does that mean?

1690
00:55:34,900 --> 00:55:37,000
意思是外面
Means there's more

1691
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:39,000
有更多的那该死的东西
of those damn things out there.

1692
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:41,500
我的上帝啊
Oh, my God.

1693
00:55:41,500 --> 00:55:43,100
这就是为什么它们拿走了那些皮
That's why they take the skins.

1694
00:55:45,100 --> 00:55:46,600
为了穿上...
To wear them..

1695
00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:49,100
它们就在我们之中
They're among us.

1696
00:55:49,100 --> 00:55:50,700
真他妈的“棒”！
Oh, fucking great.

1697
00:55:50,700 --> 00:55:52,800
而且那鬼东西已经来过我家了
And that damn thing's been to my house.

1698
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:54,800
它知道我住哪
He knows where I live.

1699
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:54,500
我觉得如果那东西
I think if that thing

1700
00:55:54,500 --> 00:55:55,800
想杀了我们，我们早就死了，Bob
had wanted us dead, we'd be dead, Bob.

1701
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:58,800
现在我们并不知道谁是外星人而谁不是
So we don't know who is and who isn't an alien.

1702
00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:00,900
Bressman 是它们之一，我敢保证
Bressman's one of them, I guarantee it.

1703
00:56:00,900 --> 00:56:03,100
百分之一千的保证
1,000 percent.

1704
00:56:03,100 --> 00:56:04,100
好吧，我们应该先对此事保密
Yeah, we should keep this quiet

1705
00:56:04,100 --> 00:56:05,300
直到我们能够确认为止
until we find out
who we can trust.

1706
00:56:05,300 --> 00:56:08,300
现在，我们不能相信任何人
And right now,
we can't trust anybody.

1707
00:56:08,300 --> 00:56:11,100
# People are strange #

1708
00:56:11,100 --> 00:56:13,100
# When you're a stranger #

1709
00:56:13,100 --> 00:56:14,600
# Faces look ugly #

1710
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:16,200
# When you're alone #

1711
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:18,200
你在干什么？！
What are you doing?!

1712
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:18,000
# Women seem wicked #

1713
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,000
退后！
Back off.

1714
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,000
# When you're unwanted #

1715
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:22,700
# Streets are uneven #

1716
00:56:22,700 --> 00:56:24,700
啊！
Aah!

1717
00:56:22,700 --> 00:56:24,200
# When you're down #

1718
00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:26,600
# When you're strange #

1719
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:30,000
# Faces come out of the rain #

1720
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:31,000
# When you're strange #

1721
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:31,700


1722
00:56:31,700 --> 00:56:35,900
# No one remembers your name #

1723
00:56:35,900 --> 00:56:39,200
# When you're strange, when you're strange #

1724
00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:44,100
# When you're strange #

1725
00:56:44,100 --> 00:56:45,600
# People are strange #

1726
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:47,500
# When you're a stranger #

1727
00:56:47,500 --> 00:56:49,300
# Faces look ugly #

1728
00:56:49,300 --> 00:56:51,300
- # When you're alone #

1729
00:56:51,300 --> 00:56:55,600
# Women seem wicked when you're unwanted #

1730
00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:59,300
# Streets are uneven when you're down #

1731
00:56:59,300 --> 00:57:01,600
# When you're strange #

1732
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:04,100
# Faces come out of the rain #

1733
00:57:04,100 --> 00:57:08,400
# When you're strange, when you're strange #

1734
00:57:08,400 --> 00:57:11,600
# When you're strange. #

1735
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:14,700
你们都睡觉了吗？
You guys been sleeping?

1736
00:57:15,700 --> 00:57:17,200
我一点都睡不着
I haven't slept at all.

1737
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:18,600
我不适合处理这样的事
I'm not dealing with this well.

1738
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:21,200
任何一个人都可能是外星人
Any one of these people could be an alien.

1739
00:57:24,200 --> 00:57:25,300
看那个女人
Check her out.

1740
00:57:26,300 --> 00:57:27,600
她好像在研究
It's like she's studying

1741
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:29,400
什么从来没见过的东西...或者
some new discovery or something.

1742
00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:32,200
对她来说很奇怪的东西...
Some strange object, some weird,

1743
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:35,700
就像奇怪的人类...圆形的水果...
bizarre human... circle fruit.

1744
00:57:35,700 --> 00:57:38,600
看起来好像她在想：我可以吞了它吗?
Looks like she's thinking, can I ingest this?

1745
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:39,700
我应该把它放在
Should I put it

1746
00:57:39,700 --> 00:57:41,600
我的鼻子里吗？
in my flavor snout?

1747
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:43,900
看看那边那个
Look at this piece of shit over here.

1748
00:57:43,900 --> 00:57:46,000
那个外星人现在还没学会
That alien hasn't learned

1749
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:47,700
怎么正确地吃东西
how to eat properly yet.

1750
00:57:47,700 --> 00:57:50,200
笨拙...而又原始
So primitive, so clumsy.

1751
00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:53,700
十分的危险
So dangerous.

1752
00:57:56,700 --> 00:57:59,200
那他妈就是那个叫Jason的小子
There's that
motherfucking Jason kid.

1753
00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:02,600
Chelsea的Facebook主页上贴满了他的照片
That's the kid that's all over Chelsea's Facebook page.

1754
00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:05,800
超大尺寸？你的JJ（Magnum是一个避孕套品牌）
Magnums?! There's no way

1755
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:07,800
这辈子也不可能那么大！
your dick's that big!

1756
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:07,200
嘿，嘿，嘿！
Hey, hey, hey, hey.

1757
00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:09,500
Bob
Bob.

1758
00:58:09,500 --> 00:58:10,500
这是个家庭购物商店
It's a family store.

1759
00:58:09,500 --> 00:58:10,700
我只是说说
I'm just saying,

1760
00:58:10,700 --> 00:58:12,000
他JJ绝不可能大到
there's no way
his dick's that big

1761
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:13,900
让他来买那个！
he needs to buy that shit.

1762
00:58:13,900 --> 00:58:15,100
有些人的JJ有那么大
Some people's are that big.

1763
00:58:15,100 --> 00:58:17,100
否则他们不会卖那样的避孕套的
Otherwise, they wouldn't sell condoms like that.

1764
00:58:17,100 --> 00:58:18,300
他是对的，它们很畅销
He's right, they're a big seller.

1765
00:58:18,300 --> 00:58:20,100
我向上帝发誓，我要把他JJ扯下来
I swear to God, I'm gonna rip his dick off.

1766
00:58:20,100 --> 00:58:22,000
那你得需要两只手，Bobby
You're gonna need two hands, Bobby.

1767
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:23,000
你好，邻居
Hello there, neighbor.

1768
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:23,800


1769
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:25,800
天啊
Jesus.

1770
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:25,700


1771
00:58:25,700 --> 00:58:26,700
我十分抱歉
I'm so sorry.

1772
00:58:26,700 --> 00:58:28,700
我吓着你了？
Did I startle you?

1773
00:58:26,700 --> 00:58:28,200
嗯
Uh...

1774
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:30,100
这对你有好处，你知道的
It's good for you, you know, though.

1775
00:58:30,100 --> 00:58:30,100
能让心脏运动...
Gets the heart racing.

1776
00:58:30,900 --> 00:58:32,900
我知道你想要保持健康
And I know you like to stay fit.

1777
00:58:32,900 --> 00:58:37,400
无论如何，我只是来邀请你去
In any case, I just moseyed
on over here to invite you to

1778
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:38,700
一个小聚会
a little bit of a gathering

1779
00:58:38,700 --> 00:58:41,100
在...在我家里
I'm having at my... home.

1780
00:58:41,100 --> 00:58:46,200
很多有趣的人都会..来参加这个聚会
A lot of interesting characters will be in attendance.

1781
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:48,500
并且，嗯...
And, um...

1782
00:58:51,500 --> 00:58:55,100
嗯...好吧，我会考虑的
Um... well, I'll
think about it.

1783
00:58:55,100 --> 00:58:56,800
好吧，别想得太久
Oh, well, don't think about it too long,

1784
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:58,900
因为在你明白以前...
because before you know it...

1785
00:58:58,900 --> 00:59:00,400


1786
00:59:00,400 --> 00:59:01,900
...生命就结束了
...life's over.

1787
00:59:01,900 --> 00:59:04,700
难道这不是事实吗？
Isn't that the truth?

1788
00:59:10,700 --> 00:59:14,300
天..啊..!
Holy shit.

1789
00:59:14,300 --> 00:59:15,800
他是它们之一
He's one of them.

1790
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:18,700
我不敢相信我之前竟然没发现
I can't believe I didn't figure it out earlier.

1791
00:59:18,700 --> 00:59:21,200
这真令人毛骨悚然，他一直在监视我！
He's so creepy, he's been spying on me.

1792
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:23,400
他不久前的一个晚上还说过我皮肤很好
He said I had nice skin the other night.

1793
00:59:23,400 --> 00:59:24,600
明白？
Get it?

1794
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:25,800
皮！
Skin！

1795
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:26,800
是...你有着惊人的皮肤
Yeah, you have incredible skin.

1796
00:59:26,800 --> 00:59:27,900
你不必吹嘘
You don't have to brag about it.

1797
00:59:27,900 --> 00:59:30,200
不是，是这些外星人想要剥下这张皮
No, the aliens rip off the skin.

1798
00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:31,900
你看到刚才他买的电池了吗？
Did you see all the batteries that guy bought?

1799
00:59:31,900 --> 00:59:33,600
没人会需要那么多电池
Nobody needs that many batteries.

1800
00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:36,300
我是说，没有地球人会那样
I mean, nobody from Earth, that is.

1801
00:59:36,300 --> 00:59:39,000
他说，“在我们明白以前...
He said, “Before we know it...

1802
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:40,800
生命就会结束。”
life ends."

1803
00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:42,800
可能他觉得你接近真相了
Maybe he thinks you're getting kind of close

1804
00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:44,600
所以他想除掉你
and he wants to take you out.

1805
00:59:44,600 --> 00:59:46,000
这就是今晚他要干的
This is what it's about, tonight.

1806
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:48,400
这也是为什么我们成立邻里监督委员会
This is why we formed the Neighborhood Watch.

1807
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:52,200
我去取我的夹克
Just got to grab my jacket.

1808
00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:54,300
哦！感谢神啊！
Oh, thank goodness.

1809
00:59:54,300 --> 00:59:56,400
原来是邻里监督委员会的领导来了
It's the leader of the Neighborhood Watch.

1810
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:58,400
Abby，你这是怎么了？
Abby, what the fuck?

1811
00:59:58,400 --> 01:00:01,100
我也正在建一个小俱乐部，但现在只有一个“空缺”
I'm forming a little club, too, and it's only got one opening,

1812
01:00:02,900 --> 01:00:04,900
你有水吗？
do you have any water?

1813
01:00:02,900 --> 01:00:04,700
哦，我的天啊！
Oh, my God!

1814
01:00:04,700 --> 01:00:05,700
不，不，不！
No, no, no, no!

1815
01:00:05,700 --> 01:00:06,700
出去，出去！
Go out, go out.

1816
01:00:05,700 --> 01:00:06,800
哇哦！
Whoa!

1817
01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:08,800
滚出去，滚出去！
Get out, get out.

1818
01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:08,600
那是伊万夫人吗
Is that Mrs. Evan?

1819
01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:09,600
- 离开
- 那是你的夹克
- Just leave.
- That's your jacket.

1820
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:10,600
那是你的夫人？
That's your wife?

1821
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:10,800
别!
Stop.

1822
01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:11,800
很高兴见到你，Trautwig女士
It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Trautwig.

1823
01:00:11,800 --> 01:00:12,800
- 干得“漂亮”
- 出去！
- Well done, though.
- Get out!

1824
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:14,200
我是Franklin，我和...
I'm Franklin.
I work with...

1825
01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:15,200
我是伊万的好朋友之一
I'm a dear friend of Evan's.

1826
01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:15,700
她才不关心那
She doesn't care.

1827
01:00:15,700 --> 01:00:17,500
亲爱的，这...这怎么了？
Honey... what is... what?

1828
01:00:17,500 --> 01:00:19,800
你正成立一个俱乐部，而你想要我填补你俱乐部的空缺？
You're starting a club, you want me to fill your hole?

1829
01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:21,800
发...发生了什么？
What-what's going on?

1830
01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:21,600
你在开我玩笑吗？
Are you making fun of me?

1831
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:22,800
亲爱的，我不是在嘲笑你..
Honey, I'm not making fun of you.

1832
01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:24,000
你看起来真棒
You look awesome.

1833
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:27,000
只是...有点奇怪，而且...
It's just, the timing kind of is weird and...

1834
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:29,400
不，真正奇怪的是我要预约
No, what's weird is that
I have to make an appointment

1835
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:31,400
才能和我丈夫上床
to have sex with my husband.

1836
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:31,600
不，不是这样
No, you don't.

1837
01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:34,500
然后他忘了这事，还带着一堆怪人来家里
And then he forgets and brings
a bunch of weird dudes over.

1838
01:00:34,500 --> 01:00:36,300
那个小个子什么都看见了！
I mean, that little one
saw everything.

1839
01:00:36,300 --> 01:00:38,300
伊万，别这样
Evan, come on!

1840
01:00:36,300 --> 01:00:38,500
哦，亲爱的，我很抱歉
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

1841
01:00:38,500 --> 01:00:40,200
我对我忘记这事感到十分抱歉
I forgot. I'm sorry.

1842
01:00:40,300 --> 01:00:42,300
是啊，你“忘”了！
Yeah. You forgot.

1843
01:00:42,300 --> 01:00:44,500
你得告诉她一些真相
Give her some truth, pal. She needs it.

1844
01:00:44,500 --> 01:00:45,900
什么，那是谁？
What? What is that?

1845
01:00:45,900 --> 01:00:47,900
把事实告诉她，兄弟
Be that truth-teller, brother!

1846
01:00:45,900 --> 01:00:47,800
他是...我不认识他
He's... I don't know.

1847
01:00:47,800 --> 01:00:48,900
我也不知道他在说啥
I have no idea.

1848
01:00:48,900 --> 01:00:51,500
你知道的，我才不关心这个
You know, I don't even care.

1849
01:00:51,500 --> 01:00:52,500
就到这
Just here.

1850
01:00:52,500 --> 01:00:53,700
快去和你的朋友们玩去吧
Go play with your friends.

1851
01:00:53,700 --> 01:00:55,000
拿上你的傻得掉渣的夹克走吧！
Take your stupid jacket and go.

1852
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:56,300
亲爱的，你要相信我
Honey, please believe me.

1853
01:00:56,300 --> 01:00:57,300
这里有种力量，
There are forces greater

1854
01:00:57,300 --> 01:00:58,800
比我们说的更加强大
than what we're
talking about here

1855
01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:01,000
但我不能向你解释，我发誓我会向你解释...
that I can't explain to you, that I promise I will explain

1856
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:03,600
...在一个恰当的时候，但不是现在
to you at a certain point, but it just can't be right now.

1857
01:01:03,600 --> 01:01:05,600
走吧！
Go!

1858
01:01:03,600 --> 01:01:05,500
我真的很抱歉
I'm sorry.

1859
01:01:05,500 --> 01:01:07,500
亲爱的，如果我...
Honey, if I...

1860
01:01:10,500 --> 01:01:12,600
拜托..
Come on.

1861
01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:26,300


1862
01:01:27,300 --> 01:01:28,700


1863
01:01:31,700 --> 01:01:33,400
嘿
Hey.

1864
01:01:33,400 --> 01:01:34,800
这只是啤酒
It's beer.

1865
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:36,400
你是认真的吗？
You serious?

1866
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:37,400
你想来点吗？
Do you want some?

1867
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:37,500
嘘...
Shh.

1868
01:01:37,500 --> 01:01:39,400
要开始了，有人来了
Here we go. Someone's coming.

1869
01:01:41,400 --> 01:01:43,100


1870
01:01:43,100 --> 01:01:44,500
你看到了？
Do you see that?

1871
01:01:44,500 --> 01:01:45,700
我们不清楚那会是什么
We don't know what that is,

1872
01:01:45,700 --> 01:01:46,800
但现在那是对夫妇
but that's a couple.

1873
01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:48,900


1874
01:01:53,900 --> 01:01:56,000


1875
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:59,400
兄弟们，我已经闻到外星人在这附近了
Guys, I definitely smell alien all over this thing.

1876
01:01:59,400 --> 01:02:01,400


1877
01:01:59,400 --> 01:02:01,200
Bob! 调成震动!
Bob! Vibrate!

1878
01:02:01,200 --> 01:02:03,300
给我一秒
Give me one second. Hang on.

1879
01:02:03,300 --> 01:02:05,100
就一秒。喂
One second. Hello.

1880
01:02:05,100 --> 01:02:06,100
啥？
What?

1881
01:02:05,100 --> 01:02:06,600
你在干什么？
What are you doing?

1882
01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:08,100
嗯，她的父母也去吗？
Uh, are her parents
gonna be there?

1883
01:02:08,100 --> 01:02:09,100
嘘...
Shh.

1884
01:02:08,100 --> 01:02:09,400
完全不可能！
Absolutely not!

1885
01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:10,400
你们到底在说什么？
What the hell are you talking about?

1886
01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:10,600
嘘！
Shh!

1887
01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:12,600
Chel..别这样！
Chel... no!

1888
01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:12,000
嘘..嘿！
Shh. Hey.

1889
01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:14,000
去他妈的。我很抱歉我们现在要从这出去
Damn it, guys. I'm sorry, we got to get out of here.

1890
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:15,000
快点，我们走
Come on, go.

1891
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:15,400
你们在干什么？
What are you doing?

1892
01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:17,400
我们要赶紧出去，快走！
We got to move out quick.
Let's go.

1893
01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:17,100
你们在干什么？
What are you doing?

1894
01:02:17,100 --> 01:02:19,600
你会暴露我们的位置的
You're gonna give away our position.

1895
01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:20,700
好吧，现在听我说
Okay, listen to me.

1896
01:02:20,700 --> 01:02:21,900
我会快点告诉你们：
I got to fill you in quick：

1897
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:24,400
Chelsea正在去Mandy家的路上
Chelsea is on her way to Mandy's house for a party.

1898
01:02:24,400 --> 01:02:25,500
而她父母没有和她一起
Her parents are not there.

1899
01:02:25,500 --> 01:02:26,800
现在我所知道的就是
Now, what I can gather so far

1900
01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:28,400
从Mandy的Facebook来看Chelsea就像个妓女一样
from Mandy's Facebook page is she's a total whore.

1901
01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:30,000
这会变成一场交配节..
This is gonna be a full-blown fuck festival.

1902
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:31,000
又摸又推...
There's gonna be touching and pulling,

1903
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:32,000
还有高潮...
there's gonna be climaxing.

1904
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:33,100
Chelsea随时都会到那
Chelsea's gonna be there any minute.

1905
01:02:33,100 --> 01:02:34,100
我可不能让这发生
I cannot allow that to happen.

1906
01:02:34,100 --> 01:02:35,200
我需要你们和我一起去
I need you guys to come with me.

1907
01:02:35,200 --> 01:02:36,900
我们需要制止这一切，我们走
We need to put a stop to this.
Let's go.

1908
01:02:36,900 --> 01:02:38,200
Bob，你在说些什么？
Bob, what are you talking about?

1909
01:02:38,200 --> 01:02:41,900
我们可能正站在外星人巢穴外的门阶上
We are literally on the possible doorstep of an alien hive.

1910
01:02:41,900 --> 01:02:42,900
你是对的，好吧
You're right. You know what,

1911
01:02:42,900 --> 01:02:44,400
我们暂时分开
we got to split up for a little bit.

1912
01:02:44,400 --> 01:02:45,700
Jamarky-Mark,你和伊万待在一起
Jamarky-Mark，you stay with the Evanator.

1913
01:02:45,700 --> 01:02:47,100
对，你，Frankfurter，你跟着我
That's right. And you,
Frankfurter, you come with me.

1914
01:02:47,100 --> 01:02:48,600
我和我的人一起干会更好
Me and my guy work well together.

1915
01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:50,100
我会把你甩得远远的，这一点也不好笑，
I'm so fucking far ahead of you it's not even funny.

1916
01:02:50,100 --> 01:02:51,100
-不，不，不！
-我们走！
- No, no, no!
- Let's go!

1917
01:02:51,100 --> 01:02:52,300
Franklin, Franklin!
Franklin, Franklin!

1918
01:02:52,300 --> 01:02:53,300
- Franklin, Franklin, Franklin
-我们走
- Franklin, Franklin, Franklin.
- Let's go.

1919
01:02:53,300 --> 01:02:54,500
你哪也不准去
You're not going anywhere.

1920
01:02:54,500 --> 01:02:55,500
Bob，你的女儿
Bob, your daughter

1921
01:02:55,500 --> 01:02:56,600
现在不是当务之急
is not official business.

1922
01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:58,400
现在我们的工作是追查凶手，
Now, our mandate is to pursue murderers

1923
01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:01,300
小偷，外星人和任何威胁，分裂
and thieves and aliens and anyone who threatens

1924
01:03:01,300 --> 01:03:03,600
到这个社区的人
to tear the fabric of this neighborhood apart.

1925
01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:06,200
好吧，但我作为父亲的工作就是追查
Well, my mandate as a father is to pursue little pricks

1926
01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:08,700
那个想捅破我女儿处女膜的小JJ
that try to tear the fabric of my daughter's hymen apart!

1927
01:03:08,700 --> 01:03:09,800
嘘！
Shh!

1928
01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:11,400
别走！
Don't you walk away.

1929
01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:12,800
你敢？！
Don't you dare.

1930
01:03:12,800 --> 01:03:15,100
哦，我敢
Oh, I dare.

1931
01:03:15,100 --> 01:03:17,500
嘎-嘎！
Caw-caw!

1932
01:03:17,500 --> 01:03:19,000
差劲！差劲！
This sucks! This sucks!

1933
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:20,000
嘎-嘎！
Caw-caw!

1934
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:20,800
闭嘴！
Shut up!

1935
01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:21,800
我是只小鸟
I'm a bird!

1936
01:03:21,800 --> 01:03:23,600
他们听不到我，笨蛋！
They can't hear me, idiot!

1937
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:24,700
我们就够了
We're good.

1938
01:03:24,700 --> 01:03:26,700
我们走
Let's go.

1939
01:03:26,700 --> 01:03:28,000
你们..!
You...!

1940
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:31,900


1941
01:03:36,900 --> 01:03:38,700


1942
01:03:38,700 --> 01:03:41,400
听起来好像谁正在被扯碎一样
Sounds like somebody's getting ripped apart in there.

1943
01:03:41,400 --> 01:03:44,300
闻起来有股霉臭味
Smells funky and musty.

1944
01:03:44,300 --> 01:03:46,300
你们在看什么...？
Do you see anything...

1945
01:03:44,300 --> 01:03:46,200


1946
01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:49,400
你还好？
You okay?

1947
01:03:49,400 --> 01:03:50,300
啊咿..
Aye.

1948
01:03:50,300 --> 01:03:52,300
你还好吗？
Are you okay?

1949
01:03:50,300 --> 01:03:52,400
我没事
I'm okay.

1950
01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:53,400
你好，Paul
Hi, Paul.

1951
01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:55,600
你好，伊万
Hi, Evan.

1952
01:03:55,600 --> 01:03:56,600
呼..
Whew.

1953
01:03:55,600 --> 01:03:56,900
你没事吧
You all right?

1954
01:03:56,900 --> 01:03:58,700
你吓着我们了
Scared us.

1955
01:03:58,700 --> 01:04:00,600
这位巨人是谁？
And who is this mountain of a man?

1956
01:04:00,600 --> 01:04:03,600
我叫Jamarcus
My name's Jamarcus.

1957
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:04,900
他是Jamarcus
He's Jamarcus.

1958
01:04:04,900 --> 01:04:07,000
可以进去吗？
Shall we?

1959
01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:11,400


1960
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:14,300
# Showtime like cable,
get up on that table #

1961
01:04:14,300 --> 01:04:17,400
# I love your sexy body
and I know you love this paper #

1962
01:04:17,400 --> 01:04:19,400
# Bottles coming
like they got legs on them #

1963
01:04:19,400 --> 01:04:20,900
# The way I kill 'em, man #

1964
01:04:20,900 --> 01:04:23,300
# This beat will make 'em
wanna call the feds on me #

1965
01:04:23,300 --> 01:04:26,400
晚安-晚安
# Good-good night,
good-good night-night-night #

1966
01:04:26,400 --> 01:04:28,600
晚安-晚安
# Good-good night,
good-good night #

1967
01:04:28,600 --> 01:04:30,100
谢谢你带我来这
Thanks for taking me here.

1968
01:04:30,100 --> 01:04:33,400
这里真是性欲十足
This is erotic as hell.

1969
01:04:33,400 --> 01:04:36,500
Big Bob，你女儿在12点方向
Big Bob, you got daughter at midnight, 12:00.

1970
01:04:36,500 --> 01:04:37,700
靠近目标？
Move to extraction?

1971
01:04:37,700 --> 01:04:38,900
冷静下来，海豹六号
Stand down, Seal Six.

1972
01:04:38,900 --> 01:04:40,200
我们现在过去的话，我女儿
We go in there hot, we'll humiliate her

1973
01:04:40,200 --> 01:04:41,800
会在她以后的高中生活里抬不起头来的
for the rest of her high school days.

1974
01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:42,800
我们还是低调点
Let's just lay low.

1975
01:04:42,800 --> 01:04:45,300
伺机而动
Just taking in intel.

1976
01:04:45,300 --> 01:04:47,300
看，是科思科（超市）里的那个大JJ男孩
Look, there's that kid from Costco with the big fat dick.

1977
01:04:47,300 --> 01:04:50,400
他带着那根巨棒走起来就像他那有关节一样
Walking around with his massive cock like he owns the joint.

1978
01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:52,600
他的那个东西擦着他的膝盖
That shit's just banging against his kneecaps.

1979
01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:54,000
我猜那家伙上厕所时，他的JJ
20 bucks that guy's dick

1980
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:56,600
会浸在马桶里
dips in the toilet when he takes a shit.

1981
01:04:56,600 --> 01:04:57,900
喔！
Whoo!

1982
01:04:57,900 --> 01:04:58,900


1983
01:04:58,900 --> 01:04:59,900
哦，你好，小姐
Oh, hey, girl.

1984
01:04:59,900 --> 01:05:01,200
啊哦
Uh-oh.

1985
01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:02,800


1986
01:05:02,800 --> 01:05:04,400
哦，太棒了！
Oh, yeah.

1987
01:05:04,400 --> 01:05:05,500
去他妈的
Dig that shit!

1988
01:05:05,500 --> 01:05:07,600
去他妈的，谁是你爸爸？
Dig that shit!
Who's your daddy?!

1989
01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:09,700
我是他爹，你这坨大便
I'm her daddy,
you piece of shit!

1990
01:05:09,700 --> 01:05:11,600
快来爸爸的卧室
Come to Daddy's bedroom.

1991
01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:13,600
对，是主卧室哦
Yeah, it's the master bedroom.

1992
01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:13,600
哦~
Ooh!

1993
01:05:13,600 --> 01:05:14,900
我们行动！
Let's move ass!

1994
01:05:14,900 --> 01:05:16,400
我们从哪进去？
Which way are we going here?

1995
01:05:16,400 --> 01:05:17,900
从底下，底下!
Down, down!

1996
01:05:17,900 --> 01:05:19,700
这边请，先生们
Right this way, gentlemen.

1997
01:05:19,700 --> 01:05:21,900
请把，你们先
Please, after you.

1998
01:05:21,900 --> 01:05:24,900
好的，Jamarcus
Thank you, Jamarcus.

1999
01:05:25,900 --> 01:05:27,400


2000
01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:31,500


2001
01:05:31,500 --> 01:05:32,400
It's a nice...

2002
01:05:32,400 --> 01:05:34,000
place you got here, Paul.

2003
01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:35,000
Like the paint.

2004
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:37,500
Oh, thank you, Evan Trautwig.

2005
01:05:37,500 --> 01:05:40,700
And allow me to pay you
a compliment in kind.

2006
01:05:40,700 --> 01:05:43,700
I see you out there
jog, jog, jog, jogging,

2007
01:05:43,700 --> 01:05:45,100
and I often think to myself,

2008
01:05:45,100 --> 01:05:48,600
my God,
what a perfect specimen...

2009
01:05:48,600 --> 01:05:49,600
Excuse me.

2010
01:05:49,600 --> 01:05:51,500
Two perfect specimens.

2011
01:05:51,500 --> 01:05:54,300
Gentlemen...

2012
01:05:54,300 --> 01:05:56,800
say good-bye to the world
as you know it.

2013
01:05:56,800 --> 01:05:58,800
(moaning loudly)

2014
01:05:58,800 --> 01:06:00,800
More!

2015
01:06:00,800 --> 01:06:03,900
And say hello to paradise.

2016
01:06:03,900 --> 01:06:06,500
(women moaning, grunting)

2017
01:06:06,500 --> 01:06:09,200
Welcome to the sanctuary
of the human spirit, gents,

2018
01:06:09,200 --> 01:06:12,800
because tonight's
all about freedom.

2019
01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:16,700
And, uh, some about boning.

2020
01:06:16,700 --> 01:06:17,700
(chuckles)

2021
01:06:17,700 --> 01:06:19,700
Think we solved
the battery mystery.

2022
01:06:19,700 --> 01:06:21,800
(buzzing, vibrating)

2023
01:06:21,800 --> 01:06:23,100
Come on in, boys.

2024
01:06:23,100 --> 01:06:24,700
The water is just right.

2025
01:06:24,700 --> 01:06:27,100
MAN: Oh, yeah,
cinematography's unreal.

2026
01:06:27,100 --> 01:06:29,000
It's definitely
gonna win Best Picture.

2027
01:06:29,000 --> 01:06:30,500
Yeah. Switch?

2028
01:06:30,500 --> 01:06:32,700
Yeah.

2029
01:06:33,700 --> 01:06:35,700
EVAN:
This is disgusting.

2030
01:06:35,700 --> 01:06:37,800
It stinks in here.
Come on, I was wrong.

2031
01:06:37,800 --> 01:06:39,800
Let's go.

2032
01:06:37,800 --> 01:06:39,100
Hey.

2033
01:06:39,100 --> 01:06:42,100
Do you mind if I suck
on your balls?

2034
01:06:42,100 --> 01:06:44,200
I'm gonna see
how this plays out.

2035
01:06:44,200 --> 01:06:45,600
I'm going.

2036
01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:47,400
Oh, here we go.

2037
01:06:47,400 --> 01:06:49,500
I'll get your name
in due course.

2038
01:06:49,500 --> 01:06:52,600
# I'm fresh, I'm fly,
I'm so damn high #

2039
01:06:52,600 --> 01:06:53,900
Mr. McAllister.

2040
01:06:53,900 --> 01:06:56,300
Mandy, this is quite a
gathering you got cooking here.

2041
01:06:56,300 --> 01:06:57,600
I'm a little surprised.

2042
01:06:57,600 --> 01:07:00,300
It's a little late
for the chess club to be out!

2043
01:07:00,300 --> 01:07:01,700
Come on, what do we got here?

2044
01:07:01,700 --> 01:07:03,100
A little weed, little tequila.

2045
01:07:03,100 --> 01:07:04,300
Where's the
hard stuff, pussies?

2046
01:07:04,300 --> 01:07:05,600
Oh, my God, are you guys twins?

2047
01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:06,600
Yes.

2048
01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:06,700
Yes.

2049
01:07:06,700 --> 01:07:08,300
Oh, my gosh, I can't even
tell you guys apart.

2050
01:07:08,300 --> 01:07:09,600
I'm kidding! I'm kidding!

2051
01:07:09,600 --> 01:07:11,600
Slow down!
You kids are out of your mind!

2052
01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:13,500
It's, like, I feel like
the three of us just met,

2053
01:07:13,500 --> 01:07:15,500
but I feel like
I'm the triplet in a weird way,

2054
01:07:15,500 --> 01:07:17,300
but in, like, like,
in a sexual way.

2055
01:07:17,300 --> 01:07:18,600
Like, where do we
take it from here?

2056
01:07:18,600 --> 01:07:20,900
I'm located about
45 minutes south of here.

2057
01:07:20,900 --> 01:07:22,200
I live with my mom.

2058
01:07:22,200 --> 01:07:23,800
Look, I'm not here
to break up the party.

2059
01:07:23,800 --> 01:07:25,800
I want you kids
to get hopped up.

2060
01:07:23,800 --> 01:07:25,800
Oh, wow. Wow.

2061
01:07:25,800 --> 01:07:27,900
But I'm looking for
a Chelsea McAllister.

2062
01:07:27,900 --> 01:07:29,300
Anyone here know
where she might be?

2063
01:07:29,300 --> 01:07:31,000
You guys know
who I'm talking about, right?

2064
01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:34,200
(music playing faintly
in distance)

2065
01:07:34,200 --> 01:07:36,600
(grunts softly)

2066
01:07:36,600 --> 01:07:40,600
Um, maybe we should
go back to the party.

2067
01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:41,600
No.

2068
01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:42,900
I want to keep doing this.

2069
01:07:42,900 --> 01:07:44,000
Um...

2070
01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:47,200
Okay, I just think we're
going a little fast.

2071
01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:48,700
We're not.

2072
01:07:48,700 --> 01:07:49,700
This is amazing.

2073
01:07:49,700 --> 01:07:52,300
We should keep moving
at this exact pace.

2074
01:07:52,300 --> 01:07:54,000
Maybe even a little bit faster.

2075
01:07:54,000 --> 01:07:56,000
Okay, seriously,
Jason, stop it.

2076
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:57,100
Seriously, Chelsea,

2077
01:07:57,100 --> 01:07:58,100
I don't want to.

2078
01:07:57,100 --> 01:07:58,900
Chelsea?

2079
01:07:58,900 --> 01:08:00,200
Dad?

2080
01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:02,200
What are you doing here?

2081
01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:02,100
What the hell?!

2082
01:08:02,100 --> 01:08:04,100
Dude, get out of here!

2083
01:08:04,100 --> 01:08:05,100
Let's just go.

2084
01:08:05,100 --> 01:08:06,200
Are you okay?

2085
01:08:06,200 --> 01:08:07,500
Ruining this.

2086
01:08:07,500 --> 01:08:09,100
(sighs)

2087
01:08:09,100 --> 01:08:10,600
Catch you later, Chelse.

2088
01:08:10,600 --> 01:08:12,800
Oh, shit.

2089
01:08:12,800 --> 01:08:14,200
Hey!

2090
01:08:14,200 --> 01:08:16,100
Hey, jackass!

2091
01:08:16,100 --> 01:08:17,900
I'm talking to you, prick!

2092
01:08:17,900 --> 01:08:20,100
You think you're cute,
you little fuck?!

2093
01:08:20,100 --> 01:08:21,100
(grunts)

2094
01:08:20,100 --> 01:08:21,000
Oh, my God!

2095
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:22,600
(crowd gasps, murmurs)

2096
01:08:22,600 --> 01:08:23,900
(coughing)

2097
01:08:23,900 --> 01:08:24,900
Ouch.

2098
01:08:24,900 --> 01:08:28,100
That looks like
a real gusher, Bob.

2099
01:08:30,100 --> 01:08:31,700
Come here, come here!

2100
01:08:31,700 --> 01:08:32,800
Dad!

2101
01:08:32,800 --> 01:08:34,800
(crowd gasps)

2102
01:08:34,800 --> 01:08:36,700
Dad!

2103
01:08:36,700 --> 01:08:37,900
(groans)

2104
01:08:37,900 --> 01:08:39,100
Oh, my God.

2105
01:08:39,100 --> 01:08:40,600
Are you okay, Dad?

2106
01:08:40,600 --> 01:08:42,000
I'm okay.
It just stung a little bit.

2107
01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:47,800
You don't fuck with Bob.

2108
01:08:47,800 --> 01:08:49,300
You show Bob respect.

2109
01:08:49,300 --> 01:08:50,400
(chuckles):
Okay.

2110
01:08:50,400 --> 01:08:52,100
Bob's my special guy.

2111
01:08:56,100 --> 01:08:57,400
That's right.

2112
01:08:57,400 --> 01:08:59,200
That's right, that
just happened.

2113
01:08:59,200 --> 01:09:01,200
You don't tell your parents
about this.

2114
01:09:01,200 --> 01:09:02,700
You don't tell
your friends about this.

2115
01:09:02,700 --> 01:09:05,400
You write it in your
dream journal, you lock it up,

2116
01:09:05,400 --> 01:09:07,400
and you put it
under your pillow.

2117
01:09:07,400 --> 01:09:08,600
I will come back here

2118
01:09:08,600 --> 01:09:10,700
and I will kill
each and every one of you!

2119
01:09:12,700 --> 01:09:14,700
Except for those two hot girls
I was talking to.

2120
01:09:14,700 --> 01:09:16,200
They have my information,
please have them

2121
01:09:16,200 --> 01:09:17,800
get in contact with me;
They seem great.

2122
01:09:17,800 --> 01:09:19,900
No, I'm glad
you showed up tonight.

2123
01:09:19,900 --> 01:09:21,000
I'm sorry.

2124
01:09:21,000 --> 01:09:23,000
It's okay, honey.

2125
01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:24,600
Come on, let's go home.

2126
01:09:24,600 --> 01:09:25,500
Okay.

2127
01:09:35,500 --> 01:09:36,600
Daddy?

2128
01:09:36,600 --> 01:09:38,200
I'm okay, honey.
I think you got it all.

2129
01:09:38,200 --> 01:09:39,600
You can put it away.

2130
01:09:39,600 --> 01:09:41,600
You doing all right?

2131
01:09:39,600 --> 01:09:41,000
Mm-hmm.

2132
01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:43,000
Good.

2133
01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:43,100
Hey, Bob, can I talk
to you for a second?

2134
01:09:43,100 --> 01:09:44,000
Yeah, sure.

2135
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:47,600
Okay, honey, I'll
be in in a second.

2136
01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:48,400
All right.

2137
01:09:48,400 --> 01:09:49,600
I love you so much.

2138
01:09:49,600 --> 01:09:51,700
I love you, too.

2139
01:09:52,700 --> 01:09:54,400
I appreciate you showing up.

2140
01:09:54,400 --> 01:09:57,500
I know it takes a big man
to apologize.

2141
01:09:57,500 --> 01:10:00,100
What happened
back there was not cool.

2142
01:10:00,100 --> 01:10:01,400
You abandoned your post.

2143
01:10:01,400 --> 01:10:04,000
If that had been an alien hive,
we would have been killed.

2144
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:05,100
So, it wasn't a hive?

2145
01:10:05,100 --> 01:10:06,100
Where's Jamarcus?

2146
01:10:06,100 --> 01:10:07,600
Jamarcus decided
to stay at Paul's.

2147
01:10:07,600 --> 01:10:09,100
And no, it wasn't a hive.

2148
01:10:09,100 --> 01:10:11,500
It turned out
to be a local orgy.

2149
01:10:11,500 --> 01:10:13,500
What?

2150
01:10:11,500 --> 01:10:13,700
There's an orgy happening?
Locally?

2151
01:10:13,700 --> 01:10:16,300
So, wait, y-you're mad at
me for leaving an orgy?

2152
01:10:16,300 --> 01:10:17,400
Doesn't matter what it was.

2153
01:10:17,400 --> 01:10:19,000
The point is
you left us hanging.

2154
01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:20,100
It's the principle.

2155
01:10:20,100 --> 01:10:21,500
No, the principle
is I went to go

2156
01:10:21,500 --> 01:10:22,800
help my daughter
who was in trouble.

2157
01:10:22,800 --> 01:10:24,900
Evan, you can't be such
a control freak, man.

2158
01:10:24,900 --> 01:10:26,200
You're too uptight.

2159
01:10:26,200 --> 01:10:28,100
Yeah, Bob, I'm uptight.

2160
01:10:28,100 --> 01:10:29,400
I'm uptight about the aliens

2161
01:10:29,400 --> 01:10:31,400
that are killing people
in our neighborhood.

2162
01:10:31,400 --> 01:10:33,100
That's what I'm uptight about.

2163
01:10:33,100 --> 01:10:34,500
Neighborhood Watch
isn't for people

2164
01:10:34,500 --> 01:10:36,600
who can't handle
their daughter's personal shit.

2165
01:10:36,600 --> 01:10:38,600
Do you even hear
how you sound right now?

2166
01:10:38,600 --> 01:10:40,200
Why don't you look at
your own personal life,

2167
01:10:40,200 --> 01:10:41,300
Evan, 'cause you
don't even have one.

2168
01:10:41,300 --> 01:10:42,700
You don't talk to your wife.

2169
01:10:42,700 --> 01:10:44,400
You don't have any friends.

2170
01:10:44,400 --> 01:10:46,400
I have friends.

2171
01:10:44,400 --> 01:10:46,000
No, you don't, man.

2172
01:10:46,000 --> 01:10:47,000
I have tons of friends.

2173
01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:48,300
No, you don't.
You have clubs.

2174
01:10:48,300 --> 01:10:49,300
You start these clubs!
That's what you do!

2175
01:10:49,300 --> 01:10:50,400
And you become a dictator!

2176
01:10:50,400 --> 01:10:52,000
You just boss everyone
and tell them what to do

2177
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:53,600
because you're running away
from what really matters.

2178
01:10:53,600 --> 01:10:54,900
You don't have the
guts to deal with

2179
01:10:54,900 --> 01:10:56,200
what's going on
in your own home.

2180
01:10:56,200 --> 01:10:58,200
Yeah, well...

2181
01:10:58,200 --> 01:11:01,100
I have the guts to do this.

2182
01:11:01,100 --> 01:11:02,600
You're out of the Watch.

2183
01:11:02,600 --> 01:11:05,100
You can't throw me
out of the Watch.

2184
01:11:05,100 --> 01:11:06,700
I just did.

2185
01:11:06,700 --> 01:11:07,900
Okay. You know what?
I don't care.

2186
01:11:07,900 --> 01:11:09,900
I'm gonna start my own watch.

2187
01:11:07,900 --> 01:11:09,200
You know what?

2188
01:11:09,200 --> 01:11:11,000
You can't, because
there already is a watch!

2189
01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:12,100
So you can't do that.

2190
01:11:12,100 --> 01:11:13,700
Oh, yes, I can start my watch,

2191
01:11:13,800 --> 01:11:15,700
'cause if I'm not
in your watch,

2192
01:11:15,700 --> 01:11:17,700
you can't give me
rules anymore.

2193
01:11:17,700 --> 01:11:19,400
I'm gonna keep
my own logo, too.

2194
01:11:19,400 --> 01:11:21,400
I never liked that logo anyway.

2195
01:11:21,400 --> 01:11:22,500
My logo is awesome!

2196
01:11:22,500 --> 01:11:24,000
My logo is "Chinee."

2197
01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:26,200
The "Chinee"
understand movement,

2198
01:11:26,200 --> 01:11:28,100
and I understand the Chinese.

2199
01:11:28,100 --> 01:11:32,500
I combined flight
with flames with a tiger.

2200
01:11:32,500 --> 01:11:34,200
What am I combining, Evan?

2201
01:11:34,200 --> 01:11:35,300
Serenity,

2202
01:11:35,300 --> 01:11:38,700
optimism, attack!

2203
01:11:38,700 --> 01:11:41,700
Franklin, let's get
some pudding inside you.

2204
01:11:41,700 --> 01:11:43,300
Franklin, you do not
go in that house!

2205
01:11:43,300 --> 01:11:45,400
Jesus, Evan, you don't own him.

2206
01:11:45,400 --> 01:11:47,000
You don't own all of us.

2207
01:11:47,100 --> 01:11:48,800
Franklin is his own man.

2208
01:11:48,800 --> 01:11:50,400
He can make his own decisions.

2209
01:11:50,400 --> 01:11:52,000
He can think for himself.

2210
01:11:52,000 --> 01:11:53,800
Now, Franklin, get your
fucking ass in the house!

2211
01:11:53,800 --> 01:11:55,500
Don't you speak with Franklin!

2212
01:11:55,500 --> 01:11:56,800
Franklin, you stay!

2213
01:11:56,800 --> 01:11:58,000
Franklin, stay!

2214
01:11:58,000 --> 01:11:59,400
Come! Franklin, come!

2215
01:11:59,400 --> 01:12:00,900
Come here!

2216
01:12:00,900 --> 01:12:03,300
Frank, come here, come here,
come here, Franklin.

2217
01:12:03,300 --> 01:12:06,000
Come here, Franklin.

2218
01:12:06,000 --> 01:12:07,300
Franklin, look at me.

2219
01:12:07,300 --> 01:12:08,300
Franklin.

2220
01:12:08,300 --> 01:12:09,500
Franklin, come on.

2221
01:12:09,500 --> 01:12:11,400
Um, Evan,
you're a special friend...

2222
01:12:13,400 --> 01:12:15,400
...but I live here.

2223
01:12:23,400 --> 01:12:27,200
How's it feel, Evan,
to be in a club of one?

2224
01:12:29,200 --> 01:12:31,200
(door closes)

2225
01:12:41,200 --> 01:12:43,900
# #

2226
01:12:48,900 --> 01:12:50,300
Maybe he's jacking off
too much.

2227
01:12:50,300 --> 01:12:51,300
No.

2228
01:12:50,300 --> 01:12:51,500
You know what I mean?

2229
01:12:51,500 --> 01:12:53,500
Like, the well is dry
by the time you get home.

2230
01:12:53,500 --> 01:12:54,500
Ew, stop.

2231
01:12:53,500 --> 01:12:54,600
Well, I don't know.

2232
01:12:54,700 --> 01:12:55,800
Have you noticed, like,

2233
01:12:55,800 --> 01:12:58,300
any abrasions or signs
of stress on his penis?

2234
01:12:58,300 --> 01:12:59,700
Abrasions? No.

2235
01:12:59,700 --> 01:13:02,000
Well, like,
he's pulling on it too hard.

2236
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:03,300
(panting)

2237
01:13:03,300 --> 01:13:05,100
I'm sterile.

2238
01:13:05,100 --> 01:13:07,200
Bye-bye.

2239
01:13:10,200 --> 01:13:12,200
- Hey, Carla.
- Hey.

2240
01:13:12,200 --> 01:13:14,600
Honey, I can't have kids.

2241
01:13:14,600 --> 01:13:17,400
I went to a doctor
and got it checked out.

2242
01:13:17,400 --> 01:13:19,600
And I am barren.

2243
01:13:19,600 --> 01:13:21,400
It's me, it's not you.

2244
01:13:21,400 --> 01:13:23,000
It's not the both of us,
it's me.

2245
01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:25,800
And I've been trying to
tell you, but just every time

2246
01:13:25,800 --> 01:13:29,700
you wanted to have sex,
it was all I could think about.

2247
01:13:29,700 --> 01:13:32,400
And I didn't know
how to tell you, so I...

2248
01:13:35,400 --> 01:13:37,400
I mean, I mean, why?

2249
01:13:37,400 --> 01:13:38,700
Why wouldn't you tell me?

2250
01:13:38,700 --> 01:13:40,600
Isn't that the kind of thing

2251
01:13:40,600 --> 01:13:44,000
that couples figure
out together?

2252
01:13:44,000 --> 01:13:47,800
I just knew how much
you wanted this, and...

2253
01:13:49,800 --> 01:13:51,800
...I didn't want
to let you down.

2254
01:13:51,800 --> 01:13:54,500
Yeah, but I want this.

2255
01:13:54,500 --> 01:13:57,000
More than anything.

2256
01:13:57,000 --> 01:13:59,700
And... I don't know,

2257
01:13:59,700 --> 01:14:03,700
we can figure all
that other stuff out.

2258
01:14:03,700 --> 01:14:07,200
All I ever wanted was
for us to be a team.

2259
01:14:07,200 --> 01:14:10,300
That's all I ever wanted.

2260
01:14:10,300 --> 01:14:11,600
Honey, oh...

2261
01:14:11,600 --> 01:14:13,000
No more secrets, okay?

2262
01:14:15,000 --> 01:14:16,400
Actually...

2263
01:14:16,400 --> 01:14:20,600
there is one more secret.

2264
01:14:20,600 --> 01:14:23,400
(sighs):
Okay.

2265
01:14:23,400 --> 01:14:24,400
(doorbell rings)

2266
01:14:24,400 --> 01:14:26,200
(urgent knocking on door)

2267
01:14:28,200 --> 01:14:31,200
Hey, Evan.

2268
01:14:28,200 --> 01:14:31,100
Jamarcus, you know what,
now's not a good time.

2269
01:14:31,100 --> 01:14:32,600
Okay, well, I need
to tell you something.

2270
01:14:32,600 --> 01:14:35,000
I know. I just need to be
with my wife right now.

2271
01:14:35,000 --> 01:14:36,200
This is more important.

2272
01:14:36,200 --> 01:14:37,600
Whatever it is, it isn't.

2273
01:14:37,600 --> 01:14:38,800
Trust me.

2274
01:14:38,800 --> 01:14:41,200
We need to get the
Neighborhood Watch together now.

2275
01:14:41,200 --> 01:14:43,100
Do you want another one?
That gonna hold you over?

2276
01:14:43,100 --> 01:14:44,900
I'll eat more pudding
if you have more.

2277
01:14:47,900 --> 01:14:50,200
I don't know that I'm open
to an apology yet.

2278
01:14:50,200 --> 01:14:51,800
You serious?

2279
01:14:51,800 --> 01:14:54,000
Jamarcus, what's going on?

2280
01:14:56,000 --> 01:14:57,200
Oh...

2281
01:14:57,200 --> 01:14:58,700
The fuck?

2282
01:15:00,700 --> 01:15:02,600
Oh, my God.

2283
01:15:03,600 --> 01:15:05,000
Is that a...
like, a parlor trick?

2284
01:15:05,000 --> 01:15:08,100
It's okay. It's okay.

2285
01:15:08,100 --> 01:15:09,600
Touch my goo, Bob.

2286
01:15:13,600 --> 01:15:14,800
Feels like cum.

2287
01:15:14,800 --> 01:15:16,800
Holy fuck, it feels like cum!

2288
01:15:16,800 --> 01:15:18,800
What?

2289
01:15:16,800 --> 01:15:18,900
He's a fucking alien!

2290
01:15:18,900 --> 01:15:20,700
You stay the fuck back,
Jamarcus!

2291
01:15:20,700 --> 01:15:22,600
All right, what the
hell is going on?

2292
01:15:22,600 --> 01:15:23,900
Franklin, I'm not here
to hurt you.

2293
01:15:23,900 --> 01:15:25,900
Believe me, I've had
many chances to kill you.

2294
01:15:26,900 --> 01:15:28,000
You're one of them?

2295
01:15:30,000 --> 01:15:32,100
You're an alien?

2296
01:15:32,100 --> 01:15:34,100
Look, our ship came here
six months ago,

2297
01:15:34,100 --> 01:15:36,200
and we've been hiding
ever since.

2298
01:15:36,200 --> 01:15:40,000
We inhabited your human form
to infiltrate your society

2299
01:15:40,000 --> 01:15:42,400
and learn your weaknesses,
but instead...

2300
01:15:42,400 --> 01:15:44,800
Why is this thing still talking?
Let's kill him.

2301
01:15:44,800 --> 01:15:47,200
Because, in a few hours,

2302
01:15:47,200 --> 01:15:49,200
our transmitter
will become operational.

2303
01:15:49,200 --> 01:15:53,600
When it signals, our armada
will commence a global invasion

2304
01:15:53,600 --> 01:15:56,500
starting here in Glenview,
which is clearly

2305
01:15:56,500 --> 01:15:58,500
not ideal for you.

2306
01:15:56,500 --> 01:15:58,600
What?

2307
01:15:58,600 --> 01:16:00,600
Why?

2308
01:15:58,600 --> 01:16:00,200
We're aliens.

2309
01:16:00,200 --> 01:16:02,500
That's we do...
we come to planets,

2310
01:16:02,500 --> 01:16:04,400
we destroy them, we move on.

2311
01:16:04,400 --> 01:16:06,300
Wait a minute.

2312
01:16:06,300 --> 01:16:08,100
Did you kill Antonio?

2313
01:16:08,100 --> 01:16:09,900
No. God, of course not.

2314
01:16:09,900 --> 01:16:12,300
I know who did.
His name's Flertrok.

2315
01:16:12,300 --> 01:16:14,500
The man is a fucking cunt.

2316
01:16:14,500 --> 01:16:16,800
Where is this transmitter thing?

2317
01:16:16,800 --> 01:16:19,500
The only place big enough
with enough power and supplies.

2318
01:16:21,500 --> 01:16:22,900
Costco?

2319
01:16:22,900 --> 01:16:24,500
Yeah.

2320
01:16:24,500 --> 01:16:27,800
You've been planning
an alien invasion in my Costco?

2321
01:16:27,800 --> 01:16:29,900
You really do have everything
you need under one roof.

2322
01:16:29,900 --> 01:16:31,200
BOB: Why are you
telling us this

2323
01:16:31,200 --> 01:16:33,000
if we don't have
any time to stop it?

2324
01:16:33,000 --> 01:16:34,800
What kind of sick fucking
head game are you playing?

2325
01:16:34,800 --> 01:16:36,900
Well, because
there's good news.

2326
01:16:36,900 --> 01:16:38,800
If you leave now,
you will survive

2327
01:16:38,800 --> 01:16:40,300
the initial invasion,

2328
01:16:40,300 --> 01:16:42,400
and after that,
if you take to the desert

2329
01:16:42,400 --> 01:16:45,300
and live in caves and crevices,
you could, you know, live

2330
01:16:45,300 --> 01:16:47,800
with moderate dignity
for most of your lives.

2331
01:16:47,800 --> 01:16:49,800
I don't believe
a word he's saying.

2332
01:16:49,800 --> 01:16:51,400
He betrayed the Watch.

2333
01:16:51,400 --> 01:16:53,400
JAMARCUS: Yes, but since
then, I've come to know

2334
01:16:53,400 --> 01:16:57,200
humanity's compassion and...
and beauty and... and love.

2335
01:16:57,200 --> 01:16:59,500
I don't want to lie anymore.

2336
01:16:59,500 --> 01:17:02,400
And also, the ball sucking
was a real eye opener.

2337
01:17:02,400 --> 01:17:04,000
Look, I'm not going to ask

2338
01:17:04,000 --> 01:17:07,400
for your forgiveness,
because I don't deserve it.

2339
01:17:08,400 --> 01:17:09,700
I'm really sorry.

2340
01:17:11,000 --> 01:17:12,600
Just go.

2341
01:17:12,600 --> 01:17:14,500
Okay.

2342
01:17:18,500 --> 01:17:19,600
Please, save yourselves

2343
01:17:19,600 --> 01:17:21,200
while there's still time.

2344
01:17:24,200 --> 01:17:25,700
ABBY: What the hell
is happening?

2345
01:17:25,700 --> 01:17:27,400
FRANKLIN: Well, if we don't
leave here right now,

2346
01:17:27,400 --> 01:17:28,400
we're going to die.

2347
01:17:28,400 --> 01:17:29,400
Guys, are you actually talking

2348
01:17:29,400 --> 01:17:30,700
about giving up
and leaving Glenview?

2349
01:17:30,700 --> 01:17:32,400
EVAN: No, I think
we go and...

2350
01:17:32,400 --> 01:17:33,400
and alert the authorities,

2351
01:17:33,400 --> 01:17:35,200
get as many people out
as possible.

2352
01:17:35,200 --> 01:17:36,400
And then what?

2353
01:17:36,400 --> 01:17:37,400
And then... I don't know.

2354
01:17:37,400 --> 01:17:38,400
FRANKLIN:
Evan's right.

2355
01:17:38,400 --> 01:17:40,100
We need to hit the caves.

2356
01:17:40,100 --> 01:17:42,100
Guys, we're not going to let
Glenview become ground zero

2357
01:17:42,100 --> 01:17:44,200
for an alien invasion
and not do something about it.

2358
01:17:44,200 --> 01:17:46,200
We're the Neighborhood Watch.

2359
01:17:46,200 --> 01:17:47,900
This is what we do.

2360
01:17:47,900 --> 01:17:49,200
No, Bob, come on.

2361
01:17:49,200 --> 01:17:51,000
It's what we did...
or never really did,

2362
01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:52,500
because we didn't
really do anything.

2363
01:17:52,500 --> 01:17:53,600
Until now.

2364
01:17:53,600 --> 01:17:55,000
I say, tonight, we change that.

2365
01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:56,600
Evan, you started
the neighborhood watch

2366
01:17:56,600 --> 01:17:57,900
because you believed
in something.

2367
01:17:57,900 --> 01:18:00,100
You believed in this town.

2368
01:18:00,100 --> 01:18:01,200
You believed in these people.

2369
01:18:01,200 --> 01:18:02,800
You believed in us.
And damn it, I still do.

2370
01:18:02,800 --> 01:18:04,200
We're not going to let
a bunch of aliens

2371
01:18:04,200 --> 01:18:06,400
waltz in here and do
whatever the hell

2372
01:18:06,400 --> 01:18:07,500
they want to do.

2373
01:18:07,500 --> 01:18:08,900
I say, not on our watch.

2374
01:18:08,900 --> 01:18:11,400
I say they drew the short straw
when they picked Glenview.

2375
01:18:11,400 --> 01:18:12,600
Now, come on, guys,

2376
01:18:12,600 --> 01:18:14,000
and get your heads right.

2377
01:18:14,000 --> 01:18:16,500
This neighborhood's
going to need our best tonight.

2378
01:18:16,500 --> 01:18:20,900
Evan, some aliens
just set up tents in your store.

2379
01:18:20,900 --> 01:18:23,700
What do you want to do about it?

2380
01:18:24,700 --> 01:18:27,600
Costco is for members only.

2381
01:18:29,600 --> 01:18:30,900
Let's take out that transmitter.

2382
01:18:30,900 --> 01:18:33,000
Now we're talking.

2383
01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:34,800
All right, Watch.

2384
01:18:34,800 --> 01:18:36,600
This is it.

2385
01:18:36,600 --> 01:18:38,000
Now it gets real.

2386
01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:39,600
That's a cute
ten-milly Beretta, Bobby.

2387
01:18:39,600 --> 01:18:43,200
But I say we make
a little pit stop at my house.

2388
01:18:43,200 --> 01:18:45,100
# #

2389
01:18:54,100 --> 01:18:57,000
# I was a moving man #

2390
01:18:57,000 --> 01:19:00,000
# In my younger days... #

2391
01:19:00,000 --> 01:19:02,500
Welcome to the candy shop,
motherfuckers.

2392
01:19:02,500 --> 01:19:03,700
Jesus.

2393
01:19:03,700 --> 01:19:05,700
Nice.

2394
01:19:03,700 --> 01:19:05,600
Holy shit.

2395
01:19:05,600 --> 01:19:07,200
Ladies first.

2396
01:19:07,200 --> 01:19:08,100
Oh.

2397
01:19:08,100 --> 01:19:10,900
This one looks cute.
(chuckles)

2398
01:19:10,900 --> 01:19:12,900
Cute and deadly.

2399
01:19:12,900 --> 01:19:15,900
Just like me.

2400
01:19:12,900 --> 01:19:15,000
Ew.

2401
01:19:15,000 --> 01:19:16,500
FRANKLIN'S MOM:
Franklin, what are you doing?

2402
01:19:16,500 --> 01:19:17,800
Who are these people?

2403
01:19:17,800 --> 01:19:19,000
And what are you doing
with these guns?

2404
01:19:19,000 --> 01:19:21,100
Goddamn it, Mom,
stay the fuck out of my room!

2405
01:19:21,100 --> 01:19:22,800
I don't go through your shit!

2406
01:19:22,800 --> 01:19:24,100
I don't touch your butterflies!

2407
01:19:24,100 --> 01:19:25,400
Franklin.

2408
01:19:25,400 --> 01:19:27,000
Stay the fuck out. All right,
everyone out of my room.

2409
01:19:27,000 --> 01:19:28,200
Everyone out of my room.

2410
01:19:28,200 --> 01:19:29,800
Everyone leave. Everyone leave.
Everyone out.

2411
01:19:29,800 --> 01:19:31,800
- I got shit I have to do.
- Nice to meet you.

2412
01:19:29,800 --> 01:19:31,800
Politeness, yeah.

2413
01:19:31,800 --> 01:19:34,000
It was a pleasure.

2414
01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:35,100
(whispering):
I'm sorry, Mama.

2415
01:19:35,100 --> 01:19:36,600
I was trying to
impress my friends.

2416
01:19:36,600 --> 01:19:38,000
I was trying to be a big man.

2417
01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:40,800
I love you. Stay inside
the house tonight, okay?

2418
01:19:40,800 --> 01:19:42,400
What...

2419
01:19:42,400 --> 01:19:44,900
You're an angel.

2420
01:19:46,900 --> 01:19:49,500
(engine revving,
tires screeching)

2421
01:19:51,500 --> 01:19:53,100
BRESSMAN (over phone):
Glenview PD.

2422
01:19:53,100 --> 01:19:55,100
This is Sergeant Bressman.

2423
01:19:53,100 --> 01:19:55,000
EVAN: Bressman?

2424
01:19:55,000 --> 01:19:57,000
It's Evan Trautwig.
Listen to me very carefully.

2425
01:19:57,000 --> 01:19:59,700
There is an alien invasion
happening at the Costco.

2426
01:19:59,700 --> 01:20:02,800
I know it sounds crazy, but you
got to get down there right now.

2427
01:20:02,800 --> 01:20:03,900
BRESSMAN:
Oh, an alien invasion?

2428
01:20:03,900 --> 01:20:05,100
Really? At-at Costco?

2429
01:20:05,100 --> 01:20:07,500
Right now?
Oh, great, I'm on my way.

2430
01:20:07,500 --> 01:20:08,900
Oh, wait, no, I'm not.

2431
01:20:08,900 --> 01:20:11,500
I'm still here for some reason.

2432
01:20:11,500 --> 01:20:12,900
G-Give me the phone.
Give me the phone.

2433
01:20:12,900 --> 01:20:14,800
Bressman, you were right.

2434
01:20:14,800 --> 01:20:15,900
Trautwig is the Costco killer.

2435
01:20:15,900 --> 01:20:17,500
He's going to take us
to Costco right now

2436
01:20:17,500 --> 01:20:19,600
and kill us.
You got to help us. Aah!

2437
01:20:19,600 --> 01:20:20,900
He's coming.

2438
01:20:20,900 --> 01:20:22,900
Really?

2439
01:20:20,900 --> 01:20:22,000
Yeah.

2440
01:20:22,000 --> 01:20:23,300
He believed that?

2441
01:20:32,300 --> 01:20:34,700
# #

2442
01:20:39,700 --> 01:20:41,100
Look.

2443
01:20:41,100 --> 01:20:43,300
ABBY: Oh, my God.
That's an alien.

2444
01:20:43,300 --> 01:20:44,800
I-I-I...

2445
01:20:44,800 --> 01:20:46,800
I'm looking at an alien.

2446
01:20:44,800 --> 01:20:46,700
BOB: I know.

2447
01:20:46,700 --> 01:20:48,200
It can be a total mind-fuck.

2448
01:20:48,200 --> 01:20:50,200
What do we do, bust in
the front door, guns blazing?

2449
01:20:50,200 --> 01:20:52,400
I love the enthusiasm,
Frank 'n' Beans,

2450
01:20:52,400 --> 01:20:53,800
but I think we're going to need

2451
01:20:53,800 --> 01:20:55,000
a different kind
of strategy here.

2452
01:20:55,000 --> 01:20:57,600
There's only one way
underneath the store.

2453
01:20:57,600 --> 01:21:00,700
It's through the drainage grate
in frozen foods.

2454
01:21:00,700 --> 01:21:02,300
When we rebuilt
the tire section,

2455
01:21:02,300 --> 01:21:04,800
we put shelving
over the trash chute,

2456
01:21:04,800 --> 01:21:07,500
but we never sealed it off.

2457
01:21:08,500 --> 01:21:10,600
Stay behind me.

2458
01:21:13,600 --> 01:21:15,000
Let's go.

2459
01:21:18,000 --> 01:21:19,900
Pop this bitch open.

2460
01:21:19,900 --> 01:21:23,500
I'll cover you.

2461
01:21:23,500 --> 01:21:25,700
Come on, let's go, guys.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.

2462
01:21:25,700 --> 01:21:27,300
I can't...

2463
01:21:27,300 --> 01:21:28,500
Shh.

2464
01:21:28,500 --> 01:21:31,900
Do you have nails?
Do you have nails?

2465
01:21:41,900 --> 01:21:44,400
# #

2466
01:21:50,400 --> 01:21:52,400
(walkie-talkie beeps,
feedback squeals)

2467
01:21:52,400 --> 01:21:55,000
BOB: He's guarding the grate.
Are you guys in position?

2468
01:21:55,000 --> 01:21:57,400
In position.

2469
01:21:57,400 --> 01:21:59,700
This is exciting.

2470
01:21:59,700 --> 01:22:01,200
Okay.

2471
01:22:01,200 --> 01:22:02,600
All right, we shoot
him on three.

2472
01:22:02,600 --> 01:22:05,300
I repeat... shoot on three.

2473
01:22:05,300 --> 01:22:07,500
One. Two.

2474
01:22:07,500 --> 01:22:09,500
Three!

2475
01:22:07,500 --> 01:22:09,500
(door banging open)

2476
01:22:09,500 --> 01:22:11,900
Freeze, Trautwig.

2477
01:22:11,900 --> 01:22:13,400
Game over.

2478
01:22:13,400 --> 01:22:15,400
Where'd it go?
Did you see it?

2479
01:22:13,400 --> 01:22:15,000
I don't know.

2480
01:22:15,000 --> 01:22:17,000
You're under arrest for the
murder of Manfred Salisbury,

2481
01:22:17,000 --> 01:22:18,000
Antonio Guzman

2482
01:22:17,000 --> 01:22:18,300
Shh! Shh!

2483
01:22:18,300 --> 01:22:20,100
And that little
punk skater kid.

2484
01:22:20,100 --> 01:22:21,100
(whispering): Shut up.

2485
01:22:20,100 --> 01:22:21,400
Drop the guns.

2486
01:22:21,400 --> 01:22:22,600
You don't understand
what's happening.

2487
01:22:22,600 --> 01:22:24,600
There's aliens in the store.

2488
01:22:22,600 --> 01:22:24,800
Oh, yeah?

2489
01:22:24,800 --> 01:22:26,200
Aliens? Where?

2490
01:22:26,200 --> 01:22:28,100
It was right over there
until you scared it.

2491
01:22:28,100 --> 01:22:29,200
Now, keep your mouth down.

2492
01:22:29,200 --> 01:22:30,900
Oh, aliens who are
scared by the sound

2493
01:22:30,900 --> 01:22:31,900
- of a door opening.
- Shh!

2494
01:22:31,900 --> 01:22:33,100
BRESSMAN:
Look out, Earth.

2495
01:22:33,100 --> 01:22:34,200
You've met your match.

2496
01:22:34,200 --> 01:22:35,200
Drop the guns!

2497
01:22:34,200 --> 01:22:35,500
EVAN: no, we're not

2498
01:22:35,500 --> 01:22:37,400
going to drop our guns,
because there are aliens here.

2499
01:22:37,400 --> 01:22:39,400
(grunts)

2500
01:22:37,400 --> 01:22:39,200
Chucho, what's up, buddy?

2501
01:22:39,200 --> 01:22:41,100
You got something to say?

2502
01:22:41,100 --> 01:22:42,500
(screams)

2503
01:22:42,500 --> 01:22:45,500
Oh, what the fuck
is that thing?

2504
01:22:45,500 --> 01:22:47,600
(screaming)

2505
01:22:47,600 --> 01:22:48,500
No.

2506
01:22:50,500 --> 01:22:51,800
(roars)

2507
01:22:51,800 --> 01:22:52,800
No!

2508
01:22:54,800 --> 01:22:56,600
BRESSMAN:
Fuck! Fuck!

2509
01:22:56,600 --> 01:22:57,700
Shit! Oh!

2510
01:22:57,700 --> 01:22:59,700
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

2511
01:23:04,700 --> 01:23:06,000
BRESSMAN:
Chucho.

2512
01:23:06,000 --> 01:23:08,200
(sobbing):
Oh, Chucho, Chucho.

2513
01:23:08,200 --> 01:23:10,600
Oh, stay with me, buddy.

2514
01:23:10,600 --> 01:23:11,700
Stay with me.

2515
01:23:11,700 --> 01:23:12,900
Oh, no, no, no, Chucho.

2516
01:23:12,900 --> 01:23:14,500
Come on, come on, come on.

2517
01:23:14,500 --> 01:23:15,600
Come on, stay with me.

2518
01:23:15,600 --> 01:23:18,600
Stay with me. Come on.

2519
01:23:15,600 --> 01:23:18,200
BOB: His, uh...

2520
01:23:18,200 --> 01:23:19,700
his heart is out
of his body, fella.

2521
01:23:19,700 --> 01:23:21,300
I-I don't think he's
going to make it.

2522
01:23:21,300 --> 01:23:23,000
What? No, no,
he's going to make it.

2523
01:23:23,000 --> 01:23:24,700
Come on! Come on!

2524
01:23:24,700 --> 01:23:26,300
Listen, cop!

2525
01:23:26,300 --> 01:23:28,400
You got a lot of shit you need
to brought up to speed on,

2526
01:23:28,400 --> 01:23:29,700
and I, for one,
don't have the goddamn time

2527
01:23:29,700 --> 01:23:31,200
to hold your hand
and walk you through it.

2528
01:23:31,200 --> 01:23:32,900
First, aliens exist.

2529
01:23:32,900 --> 01:23:34,400
Deal with it.

2530
01:23:34,400 --> 01:23:37,100
Second, your boy Chuch,
here, is dead as fuck.

2531
01:23:37,100 --> 01:23:38,400
And there ain't nothing
on God's green Earth

2532
01:23:38,400 --> 01:23:39,700
that's going to
bring him back to us.

2533
01:23:39,700 --> 01:23:42,000
Now, I have a bunch of aliens
underneath this Costco,

2534
01:23:42,000 --> 01:23:44,100
and we are moments away
from this Earth

2535
01:23:44,100 --> 01:23:46,000
being stomped a new asshole.

2536
01:23:46,000 --> 01:23:47,300
Now, I have one
important question,

2537
01:23:47,300 --> 01:23:49,700
and I need you
to answer it for me right now.

2538
01:23:49,700 --> 01:23:51,800
Are you with us?

2539
01:23:51,800 --> 01:23:53,600
Are you a cop?

2540
01:23:53,600 --> 01:23:56,300
No. You rejected me.

2541
01:23:56,300 --> 01:23:59,200
'Cause I was
too awesome for you.

2542
01:23:59,200 --> 01:24:01,000
Well, that was clearly
the biggest

2543
01:24:01,000 --> 01:24:02,500
goddamn mistake I've ever made.

2544
01:24:02,600 --> 01:24:04,600
I'll do whatever you say, kid.

2545
01:24:04,600 --> 01:24:06,500
Lock and load, bitches.

2546
01:24:06,500 --> 01:24:08,600
Anything from outer space,
kill it.

2547
01:24:08,600 --> 01:24:12,800
Come on. That alien was guarding
that grate for a reason.

2548
01:24:19,800 --> 01:24:21,700
(screaming)

2549
01:24:29,700 --> 01:24:32,200
Die! Die!

2550
01:24:32,200 --> 01:24:35,000
You... killed...
my... friend!

2551
01:24:35,100 --> 01:24:36,900
You stupid Flertrok!

2552
01:24:36,900 --> 01:24:38,900
I don't know
if we can confirm or deny

2553
01:24:38,900 --> 01:24:39,900
whether or not that's Flertrok,

2554
01:24:39,900 --> 01:24:41,300
but this thing's
a goner for sure.

2555
01:24:52,300 --> 01:24:53,300
Oh, it hurts.

2556
01:24:53,300 --> 01:24:55,900
(Bressman groaning)

2557
01:24:59,900 --> 01:25:03,400
I guess this is the part
where you leave me to die.

2558
01:25:03,400 --> 01:25:04,300
No, no.

2559
01:25:04,300 --> 01:25:05,600
Uh, you're not going to die.

2560
01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:07,100
Yeah, you're not going to die.

2561
01:25:07,100 --> 01:25:08,800
(whispering): He's going to...
he's going to die.

2562
01:25:08,800 --> 01:25:11,000
You better get some help.

2563
01:25:11,000 --> 01:25:13,000
(loud electronic whirr)

2564
01:25:13,000 --> 01:25:14,400
That doesn't sound good.

2565
01:25:14,400 --> 01:25:15,800
Come on, we got to find
that transmitter.

2566
01:25:15,800 --> 01:25:17,400
Hey.

2567
01:25:17,400 --> 01:25:19,300
Go kill me some aliens, baby.

2568
01:25:19,300 --> 01:25:22,000
All right.

2569
01:25:22,000 --> 01:25:23,600
Okay.

2570
01:25:23,600 --> 01:25:25,900
Hey. I need you to be
strong for me, okay?

2571
01:25:25,900 --> 01:25:27,900
Ew.

2572
01:25:25,900 --> 01:25:27,000
Okay...

2573
01:25:27,000 --> 01:25:28,000
Franklin.

2574
01:25:27,000 --> 01:25:28,400
What's the deal?

2575
01:25:28,400 --> 01:25:29,400
What are we doing?

2576
01:25:28,400 --> 01:25:29,900
All right, you ready?

2577
01:25:29,900 --> 01:25:32,900
Yeah, okay.

2578
01:25:29,900 --> 01:25:32,400
Okay, I'm just
going to lift your arm.

2579
01:25:37,400 --> 01:25:39,700
# #

2580
01:25:45,700 --> 01:25:47,900
Here we go.

2581
01:25:55,900 --> 01:25:57,700
(steam hissing)

2582
01:26:03,700 --> 01:26:06,700
(electronic whirring)

2583
01:26:03,700 --> 01:26:06,900
FRANKLIN: Holy shit.

2584
01:26:06,900 --> 01:26:08,200
JASON:
Gentlemen.

2585
01:26:10,200 --> 01:26:12,500
What the hell are you
doing down here?

2586
01:26:12,500 --> 01:26:13,800
JASON:
Nothing, really.

2587
01:26:13,800 --> 01:26:16,900
Just picking up
some paper towels in bulk.

2588
01:26:16,900 --> 01:26:18,700
Super-big tub of mayo.

2589
01:26:18,700 --> 01:26:19,800
And what else?

2590
01:26:19,800 --> 01:26:21,100
Oh, yeah.

2591
01:26:21,100 --> 01:26:23,500
Transmitting a signal
to my armada

2592
01:26:23,500 --> 01:26:25,100
to destroy your entire race.

2593
01:26:25,100 --> 01:26:26,300
FRANKLIN:
Holy shit!

2594
01:26:26,300 --> 01:26:27,400
He's an alien!

2595
01:26:27,400 --> 01:26:29,100
BOB:
You motherfucker!

2596
01:26:32,100 --> 01:26:34,100
You guys go destroy
the transmitter.

2597
01:26:34,100 --> 01:26:35,700
I'll deal with this jackass.

2598
01:26:35,700 --> 01:26:37,100
No. We're not going to
leave you alone with him.

2599
01:26:37,100 --> 01:26:38,800
Goddamn it, Evan, we don't
have time for this shit.

2600
01:26:38,800 --> 01:26:40,700
Just go, go, go, go, go!
I got him. I got him.

2601
01:26:40,700 --> 01:26:42,700
Bob's right. Look, they have
some shit they have to work out.

2602
01:26:42,700 --> 01:26:45,700
Let's just go. Come on.

2603
01:26:42,700 --> 01:26:45,000
Okay, you be careful.

2604
01:26:45,000 --> 01:26:47,000
Okay. Okay, Bob.

2605
01:26:47,000 --> 01:26:48,800
You can do this.

2606
01:26:52,800 --> 01:26:54,800
(grunting)

2607
01:26:54,800 --> 01:26:56,400
Come on, Bob.

2608
01:26:56,400 --> 01:26:57,800
This is too easy.

2609
01:27:02,800 --> 01:27:03,800
(grunting)

2610
01:27:08,100 --> 01:27:09,900
Whoo!

2611
01:27:09,900 --> 01:27:11,300
Yeah!

2612
01:27:12,300 --> 01:27:14,700
(grunting):
God.

2613
01:27:17,700 --> 01:27:19,000
Oh, my God.

2614
01:27:19,000 --> 01:27:21,200
What do we do?

2615
01:27:21,200 --> 01:27:22,400
I have an idea.

2616
01:27:26,400 --> 01:27:27,400
(bullet ricochets)

2617
01:27:29,400 --> 01:27:31,300
My idea didn't work.

2618
01:27:33,300 --> 01:27:35,700
(roars)

2619
01:27:38,700 --> 01:27:40,200
(roars)

2620
01:27:40,200 --> 01:27:42,500
Evan, they're not dying!

2621
01:27:44,500 --> 01:27:45,600
I'm out of bullets.

2622
01:27:46,600 --> 01:27:48,300
So am I.

2623
01:27:48,300 --> 01:27:49,500
It's going to be an honor

2624
01:27:49,500 --> 01:27:51,000
getting skinned alive
next to you.

2625
01:27:56,000 --> 01:27:57,300
What is happening?

2626
01:27:59,500 --> 01:28:01,700
FRANKLIN:
Why are their dicks exploding?

2627
01:28:06,700 --> 01:28:08,400
Hi.

2628
01:28:08,400 --> 01:28:10,000
That's the only way to kill us.

2629
01:28:10,000 --> 01:28:11,600
Severe trauma to the dick.

2630
01:28:12,600 --> 01:28:13,700
That's where our brains are.

2631
01:28:13,700 --> 01:28:15,100
Like all guys.
Am I right?

2632
01:28:15,100 --> 01:28:16,200
JAMARCUS:
You know it.

2633
01:28:16,200 --> 01:28:17,200
EVAN:
Bob, come in.

2634
01:28:17,200 --> 01:28:19,200
If you can hear me...

2635
01:28:17,200 --> 01:28:19,300
(yells)

2636
01:28:19,300 --> 01:28:20,500
their weakness is their dick.

2637
01:28:20,500 --> 01:28:22,100
Their Achilles' heel
is in their dicks.

2638
01:28:24,100 --> 01:28:25,300
Die!

2639
01:28:28,300 --> 01:28:29,300
(screeches)

2640
01:28:31,300 --> 01:28:33,000
(screaming)

2641
01:28:33,000 --> 01:28:34,500
(grunts)

2642
01:28:39,500 --> 01:28:42,300
(Bob panting)

2643
01:28:44,300 --> 01:28:46,400
Magnum, my ass.

2644
01:28:46,400 --> 01:28:48,000
I only needed one hand
for that shit.

2645
01:28:50,000 --> 01:28:51,100
(whirring)

2646
01:28:51,100 --> 01:28:53,400
Jamarcus, how do you
shut this thing down?

2647
01:28:53,400 --> 01:28:56,000
Looks like the orb's
powering it,

2648
01:28:56,000 --> 01:28:58,100
so maybe removing the orb

2649
01:28:58,100 --> 01:28:59,200
would de-power it?

2650
01:28:59,200 --> 01:29:00,400
You're guessing?

2651
01:29:00,400 --> 01:29:01,800
You seriously don't know
how this thing works?

2652
01:29:01,800 --> 01:29:03,000
I'm not an engineer.
I didn't build it.

2653
01:29:03,000 --> 01:29:04,800
I mean, do you know
how your cell phone works?

2654
01:29:04,800 --> 01:29:07,100
Do I... Yes, I know
how my cell phone works.

2655
01:29:07,100 --> 01:29:08,700
You hit a bunch of numbers
and you hit send.

2656
01:29:08,700 --> 01:29:10,200
At least don't you know
the basic...?

2657
01:29:10,200 --> 01:29:11,200
What do you mean, the basic?

2658
01:29:11,200 --> 01:29:12,300
Look at it.
It's not fucking basic.

2659
01:29:12,300 --> 01:29:15,700
It looks complicated.
That light bit.

2660
01:29:15,700 --> 01:29:18,000
See, that light... that means
it's almost charged, right?

2661
01:29:18,000 --> 01:29:19,800
What's happening?

2662
01:29:19,800 --> 01:29:21,800
Whoa! What the fuck
is he doing here?

2663
01:29:21,800 --> 01:29:23,000
Bob, it's all right.
We were surrounded,

2664
01:29:23,000 --> 01:29:24,100
and he saved our asses.

2665
01:29:24,100 --> 01:29:25,100
EVAN: You okay?

2666
01:29:24,100 --> 01:29:25,300
FRANKLIN: He came in here

2667
01:29:25,300 --> 01:29:27,000
jacking dicks left and right.

2668
01:29:27,000 --> 01:29:28,500
(chittering)

2669
01:29:28,500 --> 01:29:30,600
Shit. What is that?

2670
01:29:30,600 --> 01:29:32,000
I'm going to go get
that orb thing.

2671
01:29:32,000 --> 01:29:33,000
You guys cover me, all right?

2672
01:29:32,000 --> 01:29:33,700
BOB: Yeah, Evaroo.

2673
01:29:33,700 --> 01:29:35,600
Just go quick. Hurry up.
This place sucks.

2674
01:29:35,600 --> 01:29:37,600
I've gone to
the other side, guys.

2675
01:29:37,600 --> 01:29:39,200
I'm fucking way in it.

2676
01:29:39,200 --> 01:29:42,100
If first thing in war is lost
is fucking innocence...

2677
01:29:42,100 --> 01:29:44,600
(spits) Yeah!

2678
01:29:46,600 --> 01:29:48,100
BOB:
Better watch it.

2679
01:29:48,100 --> 01:29:49,500
Hurry up, buddy.

2680
01:29:49,500 --> 01:29:51,500
Hurry up.

2681
01:29:51,500 --> 01:29:53,800
(trilling)

2682
01:29:53,800 --> 01:29:55,200
(whooshing)

2683
01:29:55,200 --> 01:29:56,000
FRANKLIN:
It's transmitting!

2684
01:30:02,000 --> 01:30:03,400
Get it off that thing.

2685
01:30:04,400 --> 01:30:06,000
(machine powering down)

2686
01:30:07,000 --> 01:30:09,500
(beeping)

2687
01:30:12,500 --> 01:30:13,500
It worked!

2688
01:30:12,500 --> 01:30:13,800
FRANKLIN: All right.

2689
01:30:13,800 --> 01:30:15,500
Let's get the fuck out of here.

2690
01:30:18,500 --> 01:30:20,300
What is it?

2691
01:30:23,300 --> 01:30:24,900
Franklin!

2692
01:30:25,900 --> 01:30:27,600
(roaring)

2693
01:30:27,600 --> 01:30:29,400
Holy shit. Evan, let's go!

2694
01:30:29,400 --> 01:30:30,900
(yells)

2695
01:30:31,900 --> 01:30:34,800
BOB: We got to get the orb
out of here.

2696
01:30:34,800 --> 01:30:36,300
Cover us. Let's go.

2697
01:30:36,300 --> 01:30:38,900
I got you, Frank 'n' Bean!

2698
01:30:46,900 --> 01:30:48,100
(roaring)

2699
01:30:48,100 --> 01:30:49,700
(gun fires)

2700
01:30:56,700 --> 01:30:58,700
(screeching)

2701
01:30:56,700 --> 01:30:58,600
BOB: Come on!

2702
01:30:58,600 --> 01:31:00,500
Let's go!

2703
01:31:01,500 --> 01:31:03,300
Get up there, Frank.

2704
01:31:03,300 --> 01:31:04,600
Come on, Evan.

2705
01:31:04,600 --> 01:31:05,600
Move, move, move.

2706
01:31:05,600 --> 01:31:06,900
This place is crawling.

2707
01:31:09,200 --> 01:31:11,200
(grunts)

2708
01:31:09,200 --> 01:31:11,300
(roars)

2709
01:31:11,300 --> 01:31:12,900
Jamarcus, give me your hand!

2710
01:31:12,900 --> 01:31:15,100
Just go.
Take the orb out and go.

2711
01:31:15,100 --> 01:31:16,600
No Watchman left behind!

2712
01:31:16,600 --> 01:31:18,400
Give me your hand!
Come on, pal!

2713
01:31:20,400 --> 01:31:22,300
Come on, brother.
Let's go.

2714
01:31:22,300 --> 01:31:24,300
Fridge! Franklin!

2715
01:31:22,300 --> 01:31:24,000
Get up here. Let's go.

2716
01:31:26,000 --> 01:31:27,100
(grunting)

2717
01:31:29,100 --> 01:31:32,900
Go! Go! Go! Go!

2718
01:31:35,900 --> 01:31:38,600
(roaring)

2719
01:31:38,600 --> 01:31:40,100
Come on, come on!
Let's go!

2720
01:31:49,300 --> 01:31:51,100
Franklin, the switch!

2721
01:31:53,100 --> 01:31:56,400
(alarm whooping)

2722
01:32:05,400 --> 01:32:07,200
Get back, Abby!

2723
01:32:07,200 --> 01:32:08,300
Abby!

2724
01:32:08,300 --> 01:32:09,500
Take cover!

2725
01:32:11,500 --> 01:32:12,600
BOB:
Come on, boys!

2726
01:32:12,600 --> 01:32:14,300
Let's plug
these motherfucking holes!

2727
01:32:18,300 --> 01:32:19,600
(whooshing)

2728
01:32:22,600 --> 01:32:25,300
Good-bye, sweet child of mine.

2729
01:32:36,300 --> 01:32:37,600
Evan!

2730
01:32:47,600 --> 01:32:50,500
# #

2731
01:32:59,500 --> 01:33:01,900
# #

2732
01:33:05,900 --> 01:33:07,300
BRESSMAN:
Wait, what's happening?

2733
01:33:07,300 --> 01:33:08,600
Did we win?

2734
01:33:08,600 --> 01:33:10,600
I can't see.
Are those tears of joy?

2735
01:33:10,600 --> 01:33:13,800
They're not tears
of joy, are they?

2736
01:33:13,800 --> 01:33:17,100
Oh, no.
Your husband's dead, isn't he?

2737
01:33:17,100 --> 01:33:19,400
Your husband's dead.
I'm so sorry.

2738
01:33:19,400 --> 01:33:20,800
You're going to find somebody.

2739
01:33:20,800 --> 01:33:22,700
You're going to find somebody.

2740
01:33:22,700 --> 01:33:24,300
You're a great person.

2741
01:33:24,300 --> 01:33:25,200
Life goes on, though.

2742
01:33:25,200 --> 01:33:26,600
There's always something better

2743
01:33:26,600 --> 01:33:27,700
around the corner.

2744
01:33:27,700 --> 01:33:29,400
That's what my mom always said.

2745
01:33:29,400 --> 01:33:31,400
I'm single, too, actually.

2746
01:33:40,400 --> 01:33:42,300
# #

2747
01:33:48,300 --> 01:33:49,600
EVAN:
Hey.

2748
01:33:53,600 --> 01:33:54,700
(sighs)

2749
01:33:54,700 --> 01:33:56,200
Your Costco.

2750
01:33:56,200 --> 01:33:57,700
I'm sorry, baby.

2751
01:33:57,700 --> 01:33:59,700
Don't be.

2752
01:34:00,700 --> 01:34:02,000
She'll rise again.

2753
01:34:02,000 --> 01:34:04,800
Like a phoenix from the ashes.

2754
01:34:04,800 --> 01:34:06,500
And when she does,
we'll be there.

2755
01:34:09,500 --> 01:34:11,500
We did it, Ev.

2756
01:34:11,500 --> 01:34:14,400
Yeah, we did.

2757
01:34:18,400 --> 01:34:20,900
You came back for us.

2758
01:34:20,900 --> 01:34:23,200
We went to an orgy together.

2759
01:34:23,200 --> 01:34:28,000
We are, like,
friends forever now.

2760
01:34:28,000 --> 01:34:29,500
I'll explain that to you later.

2761
01:34:29,500 --> 01:34:30,500
Yeah.

2762
01:34:29,500 --> 01:34:30,900
Okay.

2763
01:34:30,900 --> 01:34:32,400
Hey.

2764
01:34:32,400 --> 01:34:34,500
Listen, I'm sorry
about that stuff I said before.

2765
01:34:34,500 --> 01:34:35,800
BOB:
Ah, forget it, man.

2766
01:34:35,800 --> 01:34:38,800
I'm really sorry about the stuff
I said, too, but...

2767
01:34:38,800 --> 01:34:40,700
I mean, that's what brothers do.

2768
01:34:40,700 --> 01:34:42,900
They fight.

2769
01:34:43,900 --> 01:34:45,600
But then they always
make up, right?

2770
01:34:47,600 --> 01:34:49,100
Are we cool?

2771
01:34:51,100 --> 01:34:52,500
Yeah.

2772
01:34:52,500 --> 01:34:53,800
All right.

2773
01:34:53,800 --> 01:34:55,500
Get in here, little big man.

2774
01:34:55,500 --> 01:34:56,900
That's my guy.

2775
01:34:56,900 --> 01:34:59,500
That was really
beautiful, you guys.

2776
01:34:59,500 --> 01:35:01,300
Now do me.

2777
01:35:01,300 --> 01:35:02,400
What?

2778
01:35:02,400 --> 01:35:04,500
Apologize to me.

2779
01:35:04,500 --> 01:35:05,900
For what?

2780
01:35:05,900 --> 01:35:08,300
If I have to tell you,
then the apology is meaningless.

2781
01:35:08,300 --> 01:35:09,900
All right, Frank 'n' Beans.

2782
01:35:09,900 --> 01:35:12,900
Get in here.

2783
01:35:09,900 --> 01:35:12,600
Thank you. Thank you.

2784
01:35:12,600 --> 01:35:13,800
Come on, Jamrock.

2785
01:35:13,800 --> 01:35:15,600
All right, guys.

2786
01:35:16,600 --> 01:35:19,300
Listen, baby, I know things
get tough, but I'm okay.

2787
01:35:19,300 --> 01:35:21,300
Yeah. No, look, I understand.

2788
01:35:19,300 --> 01:35:21,700
You got to stop that.

2789
01:35:21,700 --> 01:35:23,000
Really.
What are you doing? Really.

2790
01:35:23,000 --> 01:35:25,000
I'm in a weird place.
I'm sorry.

2791
01:35:25,000 --> 01:35:26,800
BOB: I don't want
to come off

2792
01:35:26,800 --> 01:35:28,300
as kind of a bottom-feeder,
but there could be

2793
01:35:28,300 --> 01:35:29,700
a couple of knickknacks
in that store

2794
01:35:29,700 --> 01:35:31,700
that no one's going to miss.

2795
01:35:29,700 --> 01:35:31,100
Don't even finish it.

2796
01:35:31,100 --> 01:35:32,100
Don't even finish it.

2797
01:35:31,100 --> 01:35:32,400
What are you doing? No.

2798
01:35:32,400 --> 01:35:34,300
Pick up a couple knickknacks
or something for the...

2799
01:35:34,300 --> 01:35:36,100
That stuff's all covered
by insurance.

2800
01:35:36,100 --> 01:35:38,100
You can't...
What are you...?

2801
01:35:38,100 --> 01:35:40,500
EVAN:
I used to think I had it all,

2802
01:35:40,500 --> 01:35:41,900
but then I realized:

2803
01:35:41,900 --> 01:35:43,400
What was it all about
without friends?

2804
01:35:43,400 --> 01:35:46,000
All right, kids, let's get in
a little tighter here.

2805
01:35:46,000 --> 01:35:47,400
Let's keep the hands
above the hips.

2806
01:35:47,400 --> 01:35:48,900
Let's keep it 1950s
in this bitch, okay?

2807
01:35:48,900 --> 01:35:52,200
Is it true your dad ripped
your last boyfriend's dick off?

2808
01:35:52,200 --> 01:35:53,600
Yup.

2809
01:35:53,600 --> 01:35:55,600
Hey, you guys be home
by midnight.

2810
01:35:53,600 --> 01:35:55,400
I was thinking

2811
01:35:55,400 --> 01:35:57,600
actually 10:30, sir,
if that's okay with you.

2812
01:35:57,600 --> 01:35:59,900
Don't be such a suck-up. What, are you
going to blow me in the driveway?

2813
01:35:59,900 --> 01:36:01,700
Midnight's going to be fine.

2814
01:36:01,700 --> 01:36:03,000
EVAN:
Sometimes, someone you thought

2815
01:36:03,000 --> 01:36:04,400
was a total douche bag...

2816
01:36:04,400 --> 01:36:06,700
I mean, like,
a real piece of shit guy...

2817
01:36:06,700 --> 01:36:11,500
turns out to be your best
friend and your partner.

2818
01:36:11,500 --> 01:36:13,400
And for me,
even though my testicles

2819
01:36:13,400 --> 01:36:16,600
had completely betrayed me,
Abby hadn't.

2820
01:36:16,600 --> 01:36:18,600
She and I were a team.

2821
01:36:16,600 --> 01:36:18,800
Boo!

2822
01:36:18,800 --> 01:36:19,800
Whoa!

2823
01:36:18,800 --> 01:36:19,900
Mommy, Daddy.

2824
01:36:19,900 --> 01:36:21,000
And a family.

2825
01:36:21,000 --> 01:36:22,200
Oh! Where did you come from?

2826
01:36:22,200 --> 01:36:25,700
I now know
that we are not alone.

2827
01:36:25,700 --> 01:36:28,500
And I'm feeling pretty good
about that.

2828
01:36:28,500 --> 01:36:29,700
That's right.

2829
01:36:29,700 --> 01:36:31,500
EVAN:
So, if you hear something

2830
01:36:31,500 --> 01:36:33,400
go bump in the night,
never fear,

2831
01:36:33,400 --> 01:36:38,700
because the Neighborhood Watch,
as always, is watching...

2832
01:36:38,700 --> 01:36:40,500
the neighborhood...

2833
01:36:40,500 --> 01:36:42,300
for aliens.

2834
01:36:42,300 --> 01:36:44,300
# You ain't seen nothing yet #

2835
01:36:44,300 --> 01:36:48,200
# B-b-b-baby, you just ain't
seen n-n-nothing yet. #

2836
01:36:51,200 --> 01:36:53,200
# Woke up quick at about noon #

2837
01:36:53,200 --> 01:36:56,500
# Just thought that I had to be
in Compton soon #

2838
01:36:56,500 --> 01:36:58,900
# I gotta get drunk
before the day begins #

2839
01:36:58,900 --> 01:37:00,700
# Before my mother
starts bitchin' #

2840
01:37:00,700 --> 01:37:02,200
# About my friends #

2841
01:37:02,200 --> 01:37:05,100
# Then I let the Alpine play,
play #

2842
01:37:05,100 --> 01:37:07,100
(horn honking)

2843
01:37:05,100 --> 01:37:07,300
# Bumping new shit by N.W.A. #

2844
01:37:07,300 --> 01:37:09,700
# It was gangsta, gangsta
at the top of the list #

2845
01:37:09,700 --> 01:37:13,000
# Then I played my own shit,
it went somethin' like this #

2846
01:37:13,000 --> 01:37:15,700
# Cruisin' down the street
in my 6-4 #

2847
01:37:15,700 --> 01:37:18,200
# Jockin' the bitches,
slappin' the hoes #

2848
01:37:18,200 --> 01:37:20,700
# Went to the park
to get the scoop #

2849
01:37:20,700 --> 01:37:23,500
# Knuckleheads out there
cold shootin' some hoops #

2850
01:37:23,500 --> 01:37:26,400
# A car pulls up,
who can it be? #

2851
01:37:26,400 --> 01:37:29,300
# A fresh El Camino
rolling Kilo G #

2852
01:37:29,300 --> 01:37:32,200
# He rolled down his window
and he started to say #

2853
01:37:32,200 --> 01:37:34,500
# It's all about making
that GTA #

2854
01:37:34,500 --> 01:37:37,300
# 'Cause the boys in the hood
are always hard #

2855
01:37:37,300 --> 01:37:39,700
# You come talkin' that trash,
we'll pull your card #

2856
01:37:39,700 --> 01:37:42,600
# Knowin' nothin' in life
but to be legit #

2857
01:37:42,600 --> 01:37:46,400
# Don't quote me, boy,
'cause I ain't said shit #

2858
01:37:46,400 --> 01:37:47,700
# Yo, man, yo #

2859
01:37:48,700 --> 01:37:51,100
# Yo, man... #

2860
01:37:51,100 --> 01:37:52,400
# Yo, man #

2861
01:37:52,400 --> 01:37:56,600
# Get the fuck out, fuck out,
fuck out, fuck out... #

2862
01:37:56,600 --> 01:37:58,600
(music fades)

2863
01:37:58,600 --> 01:38:00,700
# #

2864
01:38:30,700 --> 01:38:32,700
# #

2865
01:39:02,700 --> 01:39:04,500
# #

2866
01:39:34,500 --> 01:39:36,500
# #

2867
01:40:06,500 --> 01:40:08,300
# #

2868
01:40:39,300 --> 01:40:41,100
# #

2869
01:41:11,100 --> 01:41:13,200
# #

2870
01:41:43,200 --> 01:41:45,300
# #

2871
01:41:46,000 --> 01:41:49,093
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