你每天都长得更像你爸一点了 You are looking more and more like your daddy every day.
我不确定 I don't know,
我觉得她长得更像我们家的人 I see so much of our side of the family in her.
才不是 你看这是典型的库珀家的鼻子 No, that's a Cooper nose right there.
我看得出来 And I got it.
也许是吧 但她眼睛绝对长得像曼迪 Maybe, but those are definitely Mandy's eyes.
也就相当于我的眼睛 所以... Which are basically mine, so...
没错 她同时长得像我们俩 Yup. She's a little mish-mash of both of us.
除了长得像我们俩 还长得像你们俩 The mish is ours, the mash is yours.
你们俩如果情人节已经有了安排的话 You know, if y'all have Valentine's Day plans,
我很乐意照看她 I'd be happy to watch her.
你可太好了 Oh, that is so sweet of you,
但是我和吉姆已经答应下来帮他们带娃了 but Jim and I already agreed to.
你们俩就没啥情人节计划吗 You two aren't doing something special?
当然有了 Well, of course we are,
就是照看我们的孙女啊 we are watching our granddaughter.
抱歉 我们是可以来问你的 但他们俩来带更方便 Sorry, we would've asked, this just seemed easier.
-我理解 -她就住在这里 -I understand. -She's already here and...
而我家距离这有"整整"10分钟路程呢 我理解的 And I'm a whole ten minutes away. I understand.
爱尔兰国庆节 每年3月17日
我们可以在圣帕特里克节把她交给你 But St. Patrick's Day, she's all yours.
别让她喝醉就行 Just don't get her drunk.
宝宝该睡觉了 Sounds like nap time.
我来吧 I got this.
我靠 这动作就像鹈鹕扑向猎物一样 Dang, swooped her up like a pelican.
这个有意思 Hmm. That's funny.
你在丝丝的照片簿里放了一张你妈妈的照片吗 Did you put a picture of your mom in CeeCee's photo album?
没有 No.
你看 这里有一张 Well, there's one here.
所以呢 So?
所以她趁我们都不注意 So, while no one was looking,
偷偷塞进去一张她抱着丝丝的照片 she slipped in a picture of her holding CeeCee.
这有啥关系吗 Oh, does it matter?
没啥大问题 Not really.
感觉有点消极攻击 Just a little passive-aggressive.
总比你在家庭相册不放她的照片要好点吧 More passive-aggressive than you making a family photo album and leaving her out?
我没她照片啊 I didn't have any pictures of her.
你现在有了 Well, now you do. Yay.
西尔斯百货的摄影师拍的照片真棒 Boy, those folks at Sears take a nice picture.
第一季 第十集
乔治和曼迪的 头婚生活
本字幕由 VAR-is-shit 原创译制
宝宝睡着了 She is out.
"软猫猫"这首小曲每次都有用 "Soft Kitty" works every time.
玛丽 Um, Mary...
算了算了 Let it go.
是你把这张照片放进丝丝的照片簿里的吗 Did you put this picture in CeeCee's album?
没错 I did.
真相大白了 谁想吃中饭了 我们吃烤芝士三明治吧 Mystery solved. Who wants lunch? I'm thinking grilled cheese.
你还在我家里藏了点我不知道的东西吗 Is there anything else you've hidden around my house that I should be aware of?
我只是想让丝丝记住 她除了外婆 还有奶奶 I just wanted to remind CeeCee that she has two grandmothers.
她可真幸运 外婆奶奶都爱她 Yes, lucky girl, two loving grandmas.
真幸运啊 Lucky, lucky.
你其实可以在你自己家里放一本相册的 You know, you can keep a photo album at your house
想放啥照片都行 and put whatever you want in it.
你说得好像她来过我家似的 She never comes to my house.
-这怎么能怪我呢？-你一直占着她啊 -How is that my fault? -You're always hogging her.
占着？ Hogging?
她们一家三口都住在我家啊 I gave her and her parents a place to live.
而且是一个温馨的家 And a lovely place it is.
玛丽 我们一直欢迎你来 Mary, you know you're always welcome here.
真的吗？我没感觉到 Am I? Sure doesn't feel that way.
你别装腔作势了 Oh, come down off the cross.
你可是没见过我装腔作势的样子 Lady, you do not want me to come down.
好了好了 大家冷静 All right, all right, y'all need to cool your jets.
别费神了 我现在就走 Don't worry, I am leaving.
感谢你来啊 Thanks for stopping by.
我会狠狠为你祈祷的 但我不指望你会变好 Oh, I'll pray for you, but I do not have high hopes.
和你说啊 你要想想... You know, when you think about it...
还是别想了 Best not to think about it.
然后她表现得好像我是恶人一样 And then she acted like I was the bad guy.
哦 Okay.
你是啥意思 What does "okay" mean?
代表我在听你说话 Means I'm listening.
不 你应该说 No, you're supposed to say,
你当然不是坏人啦 "Of course you're not the bad guy."
哦 Okay.
告诉我你真正的想法 Just tell me what you really think.
行吧 Fine.
我觉得是你在煽风点火 I think you started this
从你不在相册里放她照片的时候就开始了 when you left her out of the photo book.
我才不管你怎么想 Well, who cares what you think.
奥德丽 拜托 你知道我说得对 Oh, come on, Audrey, you know I'm right,
否则你都不会来问我 or you wouldn't even be asking me.
我确实可以去尝试理解她 I suppose I could see her side of this.
这就对了 There you go.
毕竟她这一年过得很艰难 After all, she has had a hard year.
你能认识到这一点非常好 It's big of you to recognize that.
不过丝丝是更喜欢我的 And CeeCee does love me more than her.
前面白说了 So close to sticking the landing.
只有我觉得她们越来越疯癫了吗 Is it just me or are they getting more crazy?
大概她们更年期到了 Maybe it's some sort of menopause thing.
你给我解释一下更年期 What do you think that means?
中年妇女无缘无故焦虑并发火 When old ladies sweat for no reason and get cranky?
小乔治 你... Georgie, that is...
说得还挺对的 very accurate, um,
但我不觉得她们更年期到了 but I don't think that's what's happening here.
我不确定诶 一张小小的照片就你妈妈不爽了 I don't know, your mom was pretty upset about one little picture.
确实 但是你不得不承认你妈妈把照片偷偷带进我们家 Yeah, true, but you have to admit it was kind of weird
这行为也很奇怪 that she smuggled it into the house.
也许吧 I guess.
不过老实说 你妈的确把我妈排除在相册之外了 But to be fair, your mom does exclude her.
她又不是故意的 我们和宝宝就住在这 Well, it's not intentional. We're just here with the baby.
我想说的是 我理解我妈的看法 I'm just saying, I can understand where my mom's coming from.
我也理解我妈的看法 Yeah, and I can understand where my mom is coming from.
哇哦 Wow.
咋啦 Wow what?
我第一次看到你站在她这一边 I've never heard you take her side in anything.
我没有站在她这一边 I'm not taking her side.
我只是客观看待事实 I'm just seeing things as they are.
我也是啊 And I'm not?
你才不是 你一直在给你妈妈辩解 No, you're always giving your mom a pass for everything.
拜托 她丈夫才没去世多久 Oh, come on, her husband just died,
-她最喜欢的孩子搬走了 -你在指你自己吗 -her favorite kid moved away... -You?
我是说谢尔顿 Sheldon.
并且她不得不和我那个恨天恨地恨她母亲的妹妹一起生活 And she's stuck living with my sister, who hates her and hates the world.
米希只是进入了青少年叛逆期而已 Missy's just being a teenager.
我那时可不像米希这样 I wasn't like that when I was a teenager.
亲 你现在还是青少年呢 Honey, you're still a teenager.
-你是想和我吵架吗？-没有 -You trying to pick a fight with me? -No.
感觉你就想和我吵 Sure feels that way.
真没有 Well, I'm not.
-那我们没事了？-太没事了 -So we're good? -Oh, we're good.
晚安 Good night.
爱你 Love you.
也爱你 Love you, too.
每天一次祈祷 让你远离撒旦
你好 玛丽 Hello, Mary.
你来干啥 Oh. What brings you by?
我一直在想昨天的事 I was thinking about what happened yesterday,
我理解了你为啥觉得自己被冷落了 and I can understand why you felt left out.
你意识到你冷落我了啊 'Cause you left me out?
没错 这是我考虑不周 Yes, and that was... inconsiderate of me.
你是在道歉吗 Is this an apology?
我不想为了丝丝而吵架 I don't want to fight for CeeCee's sake.
你到底是不是在道歉 But is it an apology?
我的老天 当然是了 Yes, geez.
我的教会里不允许说"我的老天" We do not say "geez" in my church.
抱歉 Sorry.
但还是要谢谢你道歉 But thank you.
不用谢 You're welcome.
考虑到你这艰难的一年 Considering the year you've had,
我应该更加关注你的需求 I should be more sensitive to your needs.
你说啥 Excuse me?
怎么了 What?
我这艰难的一年？ The year I've had?
额... 没错啊 Well... yes.
我不需要你来可怜我 I do not need your pity.
我的天啊 你有什么毛病啊 My God, what is your problem?
你别无缘无故叫主的名字 Do not take the Lord's name in vain.
我没有 我是在问祂你有什么毛病 I didn't, I was asking him what is your problem?
我可不需要你对我实行特殊待遇 My problem is that I do not need special treatment
就因为你为我感到难过 because you feel bad for me.
所以就因为我富有同理心 我就成坏人了？ Oh, so I'm a bad person for being empathetic?
你这不叫有同理心 你这是在秀优越感 You are not being empathetic, you are being condescending.
玛丽 你能... Mary, can you--
不好意思 我不知道你有客人 Sorry. Didn't know you had company.
你还记得小乔治的丈母娘奥德丽吗 You remember Georgie's mother-in-law, Audrey.
当然 你们俩在说点啥呢 Of course. So what're you two gals gabbing about?
奥德丽专门过来告诉我 自从老乔治去世之后 我有多脆弱和粘人 Audrey just came by to tell me how fragile and needy I've been since George died.
没有 我是来道歉的 No, I came to apologize.
因为你为我感到难过 Because you feel bad for me.
现在我不再这样觉得了 Well, I don't anymore!
你看看这女人说的话 难以置信 Do you believe this woman?
我相信祈祷的力量 I believe in the power of prayer.
要不我们一起手拉着手 What do you say we all join hands
问问我们天上的那位伙伴祂的看法 and ask the big amigo for His guidance?
阿门 Amen.
把青豆递一下 Pass the green beans.
别噎着 Enjoy.
我不会的 I will.
青豆有点烧过头了 They're a little overcooked.
小乔治 我希望你知道 Georgie, I want you to know
我今天去拜访了你母亲 I went to see your mother today.
真的吗？为啥啊？ Really? Why?
在吉姆的强烈要求下 我去为我的表现而道歉了 At Jim's urging, I apologized for my behavior.
不愧是我妻子 That's my girl.
然而 However,
她不接受还给我甩脸色 she threw it back in my face.
她为啥要这么做啊 Why'd she do that?
等等 Well, hold on.
你说啥了 What did you say?
我就说了对不起 I said I'm sorry.
那你是以什么口气说出来的呢 Yeah, but how did you say it?
你怎么立马就假设我说错话了 Why do you immediately assume I'm in the wrong?
是啊 Yeah.
现在才想着支持我 太晚了吉姆 Too late, Jim.
曼迪 你妈妈说得对 她确实努力过了 She's got a point, Mandy. She did make the effort.
你怎么帮她说话了 What, so now you're defending her?
我知道我妈有时候会很固执 I just know my mom can be real stubborn.
我也知道我妈永远不会如实转述她的原话 Yeah, and I know whatever my mom said she said wasn't what she said,
就算她如实转述了 她当时说话的口气也一定不同 and if it was, then that was not how she said it.
但她好歹去道歉了 But she went to apologize.
这可是她迈出的一大步 That's a huge step for her.
不能算是一大步 但谢谢你这么说 I wouldn't say huge, but thank you.
要我说啊 Hey, I got an idea.
你们和解算了 然后邀请她和米希周日来我们家吃晚饭 Why don't we bury the hatchet, invite Mary and Missy over for dinner Sunday.
要不周六？ Saturday?
那女人休想踏进我家半步 That woman is not setting foot in this house
除非她先给我道歉 until she apologizes to me.
听你这样说 她确实欠你一个道歉 It does sound like she owes you one.
你有什么毛病 What is wrong with you?
你又有什么毛病 What is wrong with you?
现在你们明白我为啥站在这里吃饭了吧 Now you know why I eat over here.
需要帮忙吗 Need a hand?
你可以帮我把杯子收好 You can put the glasses away.
没问题 On it.
我真的很感谢你去尝试 I really want to thank you for trying
把事情和我妈说清楚 to straighten things out with my mom.
我很高兴终于有人理解我了 I'm glad someone appreciates it.
不管别人怎么看 我个人觉得曼迪有点过分了 For what it's worth, I think Mandy was a little out of line.
我都习惯了 她觉得所有事都是我的错 I'm used to it. Everything's always my fault.
这话不准确 她认为她怀孕这事我负全责 Not true. Getting pregnant, that one, she blames square on me.
我同意 As do I.
她也有一小部分责任 She had a little something to do with it,
细节我就不和你说了 but I'll spare you the details.
谢谢你啊 Thank you.
至于我妈呢 我都数不清有多少次 As for my mom, I can't tell you how many times
她和我爸 我外婆和我妹妹发生过冲突 she's butt heads with my dad, my meemaw, my sister,
当然还有谢尔顿 Sheldon, of course.
她有一次还和耶稣闹过别扭 Heck, once she had a falling-out with Jesus.
可怜的耶稣 Poor Jesus.
就是啊 祂经历的还不够多吗 Yeah, hasn't he suffered enough?
她和你吵过架吗 She ever fight with you?
我高中辍学并且17岁就把女孩的肚子搞大了 I dropped out of school and got a girl pregnant at 17.
你觉得呢 What do you think?
你还记得我之前一直穿白色内裤吗 Remember when I used to wear tighty-whities?
那日子一去不复返了 I've come a long way.
-你在读啥呢？ -读书 -What you reading? -Book.
行吧 Right.
你准备和我谈谈吗 You ever gonna talk to me?
没啥好谈的 Nothing to talk about.
曼迪... Mandy...
我简直无法相信你和我妈说我太过分了 I can't believe you told my mother I was out of line.
-她告诉你了？-是的 -She told you? -Yeah.
要是我知道她是个大嘴巴 我就不会说给她听了 Well, I wouldn't have said it if I knew she was gonna blab!
她一直对你不咋地 After all the crap she's given you,
你竟然还帮她说话 I can't believe you're siding with her
而不帮你可怜的 丧偶的母亲 over your poor, widowed mother.
我可怜的 丧偶的母亲本应该接受她的道歉 My poor, widowed mother could have accepted her apology,
这事就算过去了 and this'd be all over.
别说了 睡觉吧 Oh, just forget it. Let's go to sleep.
睡就睡 Gladly.
我生你的气对你也不公平 You know, it's not fair to be mad at you.
谢谢 Thank you.
我在电视上看到一个理论 I saw a thing on TV
人类的大脑要到25岁才完全发育完整 that the human brain isn't fully formed till 25,
所以你的脑子应该还缺一根筋吧 so I have to assume that's what's going on here.
是吗 我在电视上也看到一个说法 早发型的更年期是存在的 Yeah? Well, I saw a thing on TV about early-onset menopause.
你大概就是这个情况吧 Maybe that's what's going on here.
和你的女人不开心啦 Trouble with the little woman?
赶紧睡觉去 康纳 Go to bed, Connor.
美国著名脱口秀主持人 主持过《杰·雷诺今夜秀》
我想看我朋友杰·雷诺的节目 I was hoping to watch my friend Jay Leno.
行吧 Fine.
吃了些健康的甜甜圈 Had some of the green donuts,
吃了些健康咖啡... had some of the green coffee...
和你说一声 我们没啥问题 Just so you know, this ain't a big deal.
我和你姐会和好的 Your sister and I'll work it out.
能别说话吗 Do you mind?
这家伙真搞笑 This guy.
你准备看完整个节目吗 You gonna watch the whole show?
我一般看完主持人独白之后就会睡 Uh, normally, I'd go to sleep after the monologue,
美国脱口秀演员 艺名辛巴达 原名大卫·阿特金斯
但是辛巴达的节目开始了 but Sinbad's on.
杰 你是最棒的 Oh, Jay, you're the best.
看看我带谁来了 Look who I brought!
我最喜欢的女孩 Oh, there's my favorite girl!
你这话我就不和米希说了 I won't tell Missy.
她文身之后 都排不进我喜爱的女孩榜前3了 After the tattoo, she's not even top three.
我想着你喜欢和宝宝一起待着 I thought you might like a little baby time.
-我是喜欢 -但首先... -I would. -But first...
我需要你和奥德丽重归于好 ...I need you to fix this mess with Audrey.
修复这段关系的责任不在我 I'm not the one who needs to fix it.
她上次来尝试过与你和好 结果不怎么样 Last time she tried, didn't go so great.
-那是她的错 -我不管是谁的错 -That's her fault. -I don't care.
你们俩必须停止争吵 You two fighting's got to stop.
我们俩的事和你没关系 This has nothing to do with you.
怎么没关系了 Yes, it does.
就因为你们 我昨晚都睡沙发了 I'm sleeping on the couch 'cause of y'all.
我凌晨1点醒来 I woke up at, like, 1:00 in the morning,
柯南·奥布莱恩 美国脱口秀主持人 著名节目有《柯南·奥布莱恩深夜脱口秀》
电视上在播柯南的节目 这人够奇怪的 some weird guy named "Conan" was on TV.
我不需要你来维护我 I do not need you sticking up for me.
我才没呢 我支持奥德丽 I wasn't. I was on Audrey's side.
你竟然站她那一边 I can't believe you were on her side!
你刚刚还因为我维护你而生气呢 You were just mad at me for being on your side!
我现在不生气了啊 你跟上我节奏啊 Now I'm not! Keep up!
两位库珀家的 Coopers.
我在隔壁想不听到你们吵架也难 Couldn't help overhear the bickering
我想着也许我可以帮忙调解 and thought perhaps I could put on my counseling hat.
我刚刚被我的亲生儿子背叛了 I was just betrayed by my own son.
-我才没背叛你呢 -你这个犹大 -I didn't betray you. -Judas!
玛丽 你这样说有点过分了 Mary, that's a little rough.
圣经故事 约拿被鲸鱼吞下又被吐出
我怎么就像那个被吞进鲸鱼肚子里的家伙了 How am I like the guy who ended up in the whale?
你说的是约拿 That was Jonah.
噢对 犹大 约拿 耶稣 Oh, right. Judas, Jonah, Jesus.
真容易搞混 Lot of "J"s.
小乔治 你走吧 Georgie, you should go.
我们不解决这事我就不走 Not till we figure this out.
行 那我和我孙女再加深加深感情 Fine. More time I get to spend with my granddaughter.
-你这样我就走了 -你们俩闹够了没 给我坐下 -Then I'm leaving. -That's enough out of you two. Sit.
这可是我办公室 But this is my office.
坐下 Sit.
小乔治 我知道你现在很不爽 Now, Georgie, I know you're upset,
但是圣经上很清楚说明了你应该如何对待父母 but the Bible's pretty clear about how you should treat your parents.
原话是"尊重你的母亲" 而不是"尊重你的丈母娘" It's "honor your mother," not "honor your mother-in-law."
-玛丽 快别说了 -我懂 -Mary. -I get that,
我也和我妻子交换了誓言 她也有母亲啊 but I also made a vow to my wife who has a mother herself.
就她也配当妈啊 Oh, she's a mother, all right.
玛丽 你别说了 Mary!
我之前也说过 你还得尊重你的妻子 Now, as I was saying, you do need to honor your wife, as well.
他妻子是支持我的哦 就顺便说一下 Who, for the record, is on my side.
她只是不想支持她母亲而已 Only 'cause she don't want to be on her mom's side!
因为那女人是个禽兽 Because that woman is a monster.
她故意不把我的照片放进丝丝的第一本相册里 She left me out of CeeCee's "My First Photo Album."
我来总结一下 奥德丽是禽兽 你儿子是犹大 So she's a monster, and he's a Judas
就因为一本宝宝相册？ because of a baby's photo album?
你要经历过才能懂得我的感受 You had to be there.
她尝试给你道歉 是你不接受 She tried to apologize to you, and you wouldn't have it.
她这算个屁的道歉 Apology, my sweet patootie.
玛丽 别说脏话 Mary, language.
你们连"屁"都不能说？ You can't say "patootie"?
也许我们应该邀请你的丈母娘参与这场对话 Maybe we should invite your mother-in-law to be a part of this conversation.
当她的面说她做错了 我喜欢 Tell her she's wrong to her face. I like it.
把罪恶从你的灵魂里冲洗走
我不理解我为啥必须要来 I don't understand why I have to be here.
你马上就知道原因了 你开骂吧 You're about to. Let her have it.
没有人要骂任何人 No one's letting anyone have it.
别指望我再道一次歉 I already apologized once, I'm not doing it again.
你确定吗？你应该练练怎么道歉 You sure? You could really use the practice.
行了 你们够了 All right, that's enough!
你们俩必须解决这事 You two have got to work this out
因为你们逼着我和曼迪站队 'cause you got me and Mandy taking sides.
他觉得曼迪太过分了 He thinks Mandy was out of line.
你可真是大嘴巴啊 You are just a blabbermouth!
开玩笑呢吧 Oh, you got to be kidding me.
曼迪 感谢你能前来 Thank you for coming, Mandy.
请坐吧 Please, take a seat.
你说是紧急事件 You said it was an emergency.
我都睡沙发了 还不算紧急事件啊 I'm sleeping on the couch. It kind of is.
你们一定都知道 Now, as I'm sure y'all know,
圣经教导我们一个家庭不能分裂 the Bible teaches us that a house divided cannot stand.
很好 那我们怎么再团结起来呢 Great, so how do we un-divide it?
通过爱 Love.
这都是你们教会里瞎扯的 Well, that's just a bunch of Baptist baloney.
你听到了吗？她在亵渎上帝 You hear this? Blasphemy!
玛丽 你冷静点 Mary, take it down a notch.
奥德丽 也请你表示一些尊重 And Audrey, if you could please show a little respect.
你们俩简直不可理喻 You two are ridiculous.
我太同意了 亲爱的 I couldn't agree more, honey.
别拍我马屁 Oh, don't try to be on my side.
行了行了 我们别纠结过去的错误了 O-Okay, okay, rather than focusing on past transgressions,
一起来考虑前进的方向吧 why don't we find a path forward?
能让你们这个家庭回归上帝的恩典的方向 A means by which this family can return to God's grace.
我要回家了 Well, I am returning home.
走好不送 Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!
玛丽 够了 Mary!
曼迪 小乔治 我们来讨论一下如何改善 Mandy, Georgie, why don't we discuss how to improve
你们之间以及你们和主的关系吧 your relationship with each other and the Lord?
我原谅你了 我们走吧 Oh, I forgive you. Let's go.