Mr. Gilbert?
Yes. Good morning.
We thought you might have caught the earlier train, sir.
I did. It was late.
Allow me.
The historic hall...
Built 1550...
Destroyed by fire.
Rebuilt 1732...
Restored 1874.
It's very beautiful.
♪ praise him, praise him... ♪
Great chapel. Built in the year 13...
sorry, sorry.
Wilson.
You're late.
But not really late.
I don't care. Three minutes late.
Cromwells. Today or tomorrow?
Today.
Any boy late for morning prayers is given cromwells,
which is the word for punishment.
If you ask me why it's called cromwells,
I'll say "y" is a crooked letter.
You can't make it straight.
Shut up, w... Mr. Gilbert, new master for next term.
Show him in, please.
♪ praise him, praise him ♪
♪ praise him... ♪ ♪
Morning, Mr. foster.
Trouble with the alarm clock again, sir?
Morning, boys.
- Morning, sir. - Morning, sir.
Announcements.
The interhouse boat race was won by ironsides.
And we have to thank for the excellent organization
Mr. hunter.
Tomorrow, 2 P.M., cricket match...
staff and old boys versus school first eleven.
Tomorrow evening at 8:30 P.M.,
concert by small choir from the library steps.
Now, prize-giving on Friday will be at 9 A.M.
So that Mr. Fletcher can reach London
in order to join the mcc squad
in preparation for their match
against the Australians at lord's.
Now, now, now, now.
No need to get overexcited.
There will be tears before bedtime.
Mr. Fletcher is quitting teaching to become a professional cricketer.
Wish him well for the future at prize-giving.
Now, you will also want to show your appreciation
to Mr. Crocker-Harris on Friday.
Mr. Crocker-Harris is resigning because of ill health.
He's been with us for 18 years.
He's taking up less arduous duties at another school,
and I'm sure we're all very, very sorry to lose him.
We'll be sorry to lose his wife, also.
She's been with us for 15 of those 18 years.
She's endeared herself to us all so much.
Now, hymn number 555...
lead us, heavenly father, lead us.
Who do you think is the best left-arm bowler in the country?
You are!
No. Don't be ridiculous.
Oh! Make way for Mr. Harris.
I'll do it on the back!
Where would you like it?
Come on, sir. It's end of term, sir.
Please, sir.
I never promised.
I never make promises to juvenile delinquents.
You just want to see me blow myself up.
No, sir!
Please, sir.
Uh, excuse me, Frank.
I need the details of your classes for next term.
Oh, right.
Uh, sorry, Andrew.
Um, could I get them to you today?
I'd be obliged.
The final piece of the Jigsaw.
Would 12:00 at my house be convenient?
All right, listen.
One more experiment.
If you let anybody know, I'll have your heads, understand?
You're like policemen...
younger and younger.
Laura Crocker-Harris.
Tom Gilbert. I'm replacing your husband.
You'll be head of the new language department.
My husband was only head of classical languages.
Could you do me a favor?
Could you point out Mr. Frank hunter?
Follow me.
Laura, are we still going into town?
Ah, darling, I'll be right back.
Ah, Laura, going to miss your regular attendance at morning prayers.
Thank you, headmaster. I shall miss it, too.
The library won't be the same without you.
Tell me, how is Andrew taking all this?
Well, I hope.
Yes, headmaster. He's, um, bearing up.
Very sad.
Did you get your switch to science?
I'm just going to ask.
You work in the library?
Two days a week.
You supervise the sound system.
We need about 20 tannoys...
Good morning, Laura.
Hello, Laura.
Excuse me for interrupting.
This is Keith rafferty, head of sciences, and Frank hunter.
Tom Gilbert... Andrew's successor.
Hello. Hello.
Hello. The headmaster asked me to show you your room.
I hear you rowed at Oxford.
God, another sportsman.
The head loves them on staff.
You'll need someone to replace Frank
when he goes to the colonies.
We must keep our bodies in shape, mustn't we?
Sir, um, I was wondering if I could have a word.
The bell's rung. Too late.
Cut along.
Sir?
Cut along.
Frank, we don't say "cut along" anymore.
Oh? What do we say?
We say "fuck off."
And remember, don't bully the big boys.
Pick on the little ones.
I should say hello to Mr. Crocker-Harris.
Oh, um... Listen, you can talk to him later.
We don't want to keep the headmaster waiting.
Sir?
Do I disturb you, sir?
Perhaps.
I know the rules, sir...
But it's very important to me.
I...
h-have I...
have I got my switch to upper fifth science?
You have obtained exactly what you deserve...
no less and certainly no more.
And, taplow,
I shall expect you at the house
for extra work at 12:15 precisely.
What is it?
I'd fixed to play golf.
Unfix it. You missed an hour last week.
I won't take your father's money under false pretenses.
He won't mind, sir.
I'm not sure I should take your word for that, taplow.
No, sir.
The point is that we mind, don't we?
Yes, sir. We mind.
12:15, extra work.
You're on exchange?
Just finished my first year of three.
Do you like it?
It's a great place to teach.
You feel the history, the tradition.
They put me up here during my interview.
I didn't sleep a wink.
The beds also date to 1667.
I'll be fine.
It's only for two nights.
Are you married?
Yes.
Kids?
Yes. Two. We'll all be here next term.
Found a place to stay?
Yes. We're taking the Crocker-Harris house.
Oh.
Most of our classrooms are in this building!
Move along!
Up here is the upper fifth science,
where Mr. hunter manufactures concoctions
with his own perverted branch of learning.
Not as perverted as the classics.
Won't Mr. Gilbert teach the boys about rape and murder?
If you knew more about the classics,
you'd be less keen to destroy this planet.
Didn't Einstein say, "we don't understand science properly"?
He said we don't know how to use it sensibly.
Have a nice day, Mr. Gilbert.
If only he had a little more discipline.
Of course, he's an American.
He's coming.
Ah, boys, Mr. Crocker-Harris not here yet?
Uh, six minutes to go yet, sir.
Ah, six minutes. Hello, Watson. How's your father?
He's quite well, thank you.
My name's Wilson, sir.
Wilson, is it, really?
But your father's all right just the same?
Yes, sir. He's quite dried-out.
Well, well.
Now, boys, this is Mr. Gilbert.
He'll be the head of our new languages department.
I trust those who remain in this class next term
will be well-behaved with Mr. Gilbert.
Good morning, boys.
It might interest you to sit in on this period, Mr... Mr... Gilbert.
Gilbert. Yes, Mr. Gilbert.
And observe your future pupils in action.
Yes. If I see him, I'll warn him.
Thank you, sir.
Boys, Mr. Gilbert doesn't take over his duties until next term,
but he can still report
your misdoings to me today.
What's in it?
I put 150 milliliters of hydrogen peroxide solution
in this water bottle.
Biggles had a nosebleed this morning and donated this blood.
We just mix this with the hydrogen peroxide solution.
Biggles, what do we got in this jar here?
Iron sulfate.
Nick, what's the chemical formula for iron sulfate?
Feso4, sir.
Very good.
What... hang on.
Now, this has never happened before.
Um, boys,
I think you ought to just back off now!
What's in your blood, Biggs?
O.K., boys, what do you want to do next?
You there, what do you want?
Piss off, taplow.
Knock it off!
You tried to see me this morning.
Yes, sir.
Why are you following me around?
You with the c.I.A., mi5?
The lower fifth, sir.
Same thing. What's your name, boy?
Taplow, sir.
I might be in your class next term.
This isn't next term. This is this term.
Vamoose.
Get out of here!
Taplow!
What's the chemical formula for ethanol?
C2h5oh, sir.
Raus... get out of here!
Oi, taplow!
What's up with the crock?
Why is he being forced to retire?
There's nothing wrong with him.
He got the chop.
First time for 10 years,
he had it away with his wife,
had a heart attack.
Two, I should think.
It's not his heart.
It's probably piles.
Of course it's piles.
Grow up, buller. It's his heart.
He hasn't got a heart.
Right. He's a sadist.
Cut it out, boys. I'm not really interested.
It is his heart, sir.
I have extra lessons with him.
Sadists don't have hearts, anyway.
Will you be running special projects?
Yes, I believe so.
We want to start a magazine.
You allocate the funds.
Mr. Crocker-Harris is in charge.
Well, sir, you see, Mr. Crocker-Harris says no to anything new.
He doesn't hate people.
He doesn't like people, either.
And he doesn't care whether people like him.
He hasn't a care.
You've obtained
exactly what you deserve...
No less and certainly no more.
If he gave us the chance...
...no less and certainly...
I think we'd like him.
Now, I won't tell you again.
I feel sorry for him.
Sorry for old Hitler?
You little ass-crawler, taplow!
Stop it now!
That's enough!
Good morning, sir. I'm Gilbert.
Good morning.
Wilson.
Sir?
Apparently, you were late for chapel.
Just a few seconds.
I-I was in the library.
You can't hear the bell.
You will recount those excuses to your housemaster.
I'm not interested in them.
Sir.
These are your Latin verses.
Only one boy's efforts... buller's... had any merit
and that somewhat doubtful.
The rest were mainly abominable.
The best way of employing
the first part of this period
would be for all of you to attempt the verse again.
And if you should find the disturbance
from the upper fifth science too distracting,
you may console yourselves, as good classicists,
with the thought that, to amend an aphorism...
Scientia est celare scientiam.
Taplow.
Yes, sir.
You laughed at my epigram.
Yes, sir.
I'm flattered at the advance your Latin has made
that you should understand
what the rest of the class did not.
Perhaps you would be good enough to explain it to them
so that they can share your pleasure.
Oh, come along, taplow.
Don't be so selfish as to keep a good joke to yourself.
Tell the others.
I didn't hear it properly, sir.
You didn't hear it? Indeed.
Then why did you laugh?
Why did you laugh at what you didn't hear?
Politeness, sir.
I beg your pardon?
Politeness, sir.
Toujours LA politesse.
I'm touched, taplow, but if you really wish to show me politeness,
you'll do so now by translating verses
less appalling than the ones I corrected this morning.
Sit.
Sir.
Still feel sorry for him?
Finish now.
As this is the, uh, last time
we shall meet as a class,
it may not be amiss for me to say good-bye
and wish you all the best of good fortune.
And now the end of term treat.
We will read a scene from the agamemnon by aeschylus.
Agamemnon is perhaps the greatest play ever written.
The scene I have selected
starts with clytemnestra standing over the bodies
of agamemnon... her husband... and the prophetess cassandra,
both of whom she's just murdered.
Very well.
Laughton, begin.
Ah, forgive me for interrupting, but I have the impression
you don't understand what you're reading.
No, sir. I...
clytemnestra has just committed murder.
She is describing her foul deed. She's unrepentant. Hmm?
Don't you think she would show some emotion?
Of course, sir. I was just...
I realize that you may not have met a wife
who has destroyed her husband,
nor perhaps had aeschylus.
Nevertheless, he knew, alas, that such wives do exist.
He used his imagination, laughton.
Imagination... a word I think not in your vocabulary.
For example...
"I stand upon mine act.
Yea, where I struck."
Do you not think, in saying those words,
she might reveal a flash of cruelty
and of pride?
Hmm?
Defiant creature.
And then here.
"And I confess it.
"I did use such craft,
he could not fly nor fend him against death."
"I caught him in a net as men catch fish."
"No room, no rathole in his loopless robe."
"I struck him twice."
"And once and twice he groaned.
He doubled up his limb."
"And with that stroke
committed him to Zeus that keeps the dead."
Very well. You may leave.
Good luck, sir.
Good-bye, sir.
Good-bye.
Thank you very much, sir.
Good luck.
Good-bye, sir.
♪ Tra LA LA LA LA LA ♪
♪ tra LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪
♪ now is the month of maying ♪
♪ the merry month of maying ♪
♪ tra LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪ ♪
Oi! Walk!
Ah!
We've got to get him.
We'll get in trouble.
Trubshaw's always picking on you.
You can do it tomorrow.
It will be a laugh.
What can they do?
Thank you, sir.
I realize, of course, you won't be putting much emphasis
on the study of Greek and Latin.
Perhaps they may be dropped from the curriculum
or made optional extras.
My remit from the headmaster
is to organize a new language department, sir.
That really means modern languages.
I believe we need a greater concentration
on German, French, Spanish.
It is, after all, a multicultural society.
Ah, yes. The modern approach.
Not so many years ago,
the great passion was to learn Russian.
Then came perestroika.
Russian wasn't trendy anymore.
Yes. Well, thank you for allowing me to observe.
Not at all.
Perhaps we shall see each other later.
Hello. Anybody home?
Just me, sir.
Taplow, you are following me around.
No, sir. I've got extra work with Mr. Crocker-Harris.
He's not here yet.
And Mrs. Crocker-Harris?
No. She's not here either.
What are you studying?
Aeschylus, sir. The agamemnon.
Have you read it?
No, I haven't. Is it good?
Um, well, as a matter of fact, it is, really.
Well, what's it about?
It-it's about a wife
who's unfaithful and murders her husband.
I get it. A comedy.
S-say, listen. Did you talk to Mr. Crocker-Harris
about your transfer to my science class?
Yes.
What did he say?
What he always says to everything.
Come on. What is it?
Ahem.
You have obtained
exactly what you deserve...
no less and certainly no more.
Andrew? Andrew, is that you?
Oh, what a pleasant surprise.
Hiya, Laura.
I didn't expect to see you.
Andrew said to come by.
It's about next term's timetable.
And he's not here.
It's unlike Andrew to be late, eh, taplow?
No, Mrs. Crocker-Harris.
Well, excuse me, gentlemen.
I think I'll just go put these things upstairs.
You think she heard?
Heard what?
Me impersonating...
Frank.
I, uh, I've got your timetable here, Andrew.
Just what I wanted.
Sorry I'm late, taplow.
Frank, we see you too rarely.
Hello, Laura.
You're late for taplow.
I have apologized.
I hope you'll join us at the concert tomorrow.
I'm looking forward to it.
Taplow, why don't you go get the lemonade?
Thank you, Mrs. Crocker-Harris.
How have you been?
Frank, would you like to see
the timetable for next term?
I'd like that very much, Andrew.
Take that outside, taplow.
We'll have our class in the garden today.
Let's see...
There you are.
You've done a beautiful job.
It has clarity.
I don't know what we'll do without you.
You'll find somebody else, or perhaps they'll buy a computer.
Say, what exactly is this new job of yours?
Teaching English to foreigners.
Andrew's doctor believes it'll be less of a strain than the lower fifth.
I-I'm really sorry, Andrew.
There's nothing to be sorry about.
I'm looking forward to the change.
See you later.
So long, Andrew.
Begin, taplow.
"Oh, clytemnestra,
we are surprised at..."
we marvel at.
"We marvel at thy tongue."
Mmm.
"How bold thou art that thou can..."
"canst" is more poetic.
Canst.
"Canst utter such a boastful speech."
Mmm.
"Over the... the bloody corpse of the husband
you've just so foully murdered."
Taplow, I presume you're using a different text to mine.
No, sir.
That's strange.
I see no "foully murdered,"
no "bloody corpse,"
simply epandri... husband.
Y-yes, sir.
Why do you insist on inventing words
that are simply not there?
Go on, taplow.
Go on. I wish to understand.
I think of it like this, sir... there she is... clytemnestra.
She really hates her husband agamemnon.
He returns from winning the war.
What does she do?
She welcomes him and then murders him.
She stabs him...
I'm delighted in your interest
in the more lurid aspects.
I fail to understand why you wish to improve aeschylus.
Today in class, sir, I got a sense of the horror.
It was so vivid.
Why can't we put more life into translations, sir, like you did?
Why can't we use words like "bloody," "corpse,"
and "murder"?
Hmm.
When I was a very young man
not much older than you are now,
I wrote for my own pleasure
a translation of the agamemnon,
a very free translation, I remember, in rhyming couplets.
That must have been hard.
Yes, very hard work.
I derived great pleasure from it
because the play moved me as it did you.
I wanted to communicate, however imperfectly, some of that emotion...
A little like
what happened in class today.
My translation, I remember thinking,
was very beautiful.
Almost more beautiful than the original.
Was it ever published?
I'm sorry.
- Was it ever published? - Oh, no, no.
No, it was never published.
Shall I go on, sir?
No. I fear we've run out of time.
Um, may I go now, sir?
Yes.
And, taplow,
scientia est celare scientiam...
the art of learning is to conceal learning.
Your friends wouldn't find it particularly funny.
I wouldn't know, sir.
Huh.
Turn that...
turn that ghastly noise down! Off!
Now, buller?
Where's buller?
Your mother has just telephoned.
She's awfully sorry,
but neither she nor your father
can get here today.
Take the train tomorrow...
shrewsbury.
She'll meet you at the station.
Sir.
You all right, buller?
Sir.
Good.
Keep the noise down.
I know it's hard, buller.
You'll get used to it.
Fuck off.
Oh, good morning.
Morning.
Sleep well?
Yes. Fine, thanks.
And you?
Yes. Fine, thank you.
There you are.
Oh, there's a letter for you.
Is everything all right?
Your mother all right?
Yes. Fine, fine.
Um, I forgot to cancel the papers.
Do you need anything from the village?
No. No, thank you.
Laura.
Were you expecting someone else?
I thought we agreed that we wouldn't meet here.
Who are you expecting?
Gilbert, the new guy.
Laura, come away from the window, please.
Would you please come away from the window?
Aren't you going to say hello?
Hello.
I love you guilty.
It's the puritan in you.
I love fucking you.
You talk when you make love.
The kettle... it's just boiling.
Which is more, apparently, than we can say for you.
I haven't got much time.
I don't think I have, either.
Tea?
Oh, Frank, you're more English than the English.
Listen, if Gilbert does come,
let's just say you're here delivering a message.
To hell with Gilbert.
I've got good news.
Oh?
What?
Don't worry. I'm not pregnant.
I've had a letter from my mother.
She's visiting my sister in Canada.
I can have her cottage in dorset
for the whole summer.
That's great.
Andrew starts his new job in September.
I don't have to go immediately.
You and I can be alone...
If you like.
Just think, darling...
whole months.
You will come, won't you?
Frank?
Frank, I need you.
I need to be with you.
You know, my father is not well.
I may have to go back to the states.
You're gutless. You remind me of him.
Of who?
Of whom.
Of whom. Of Andrew, of course.
He didn't always used to be
the old crock, you know.
He wasn't much older than you
when I first met him.
He was so... Pure, so...
So... Idealistic...
But just as ungiving.
What happened to him?
I did.
Weren't you two ever happy together?
Can't remember.
Laura, I...
I feel sorry for him.
No, you don't.
You feel guilty because you're screwing his wife.
To be more accurate, because his wife is screwing you.
I think we should tell him.
Tell him what?
About us.
What, are you insane?
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
What the hell would you tell him for, Laura?
Are we talking marriage, divorce?
I'm talking about us.
I don't want to become just good friends.
Listen, Laura...
don't.
Deja vu.
I know exactly what you're going to say...
you're not ready to settle down.
Isn't that what you were going to say?
Anyone home?
Come in.
Ah, Andrew, Andrew.
Can't stay long. Lovely day.
Beautiful, yes. Sit down.
Two things I wanted to discuss.
Can I offer you tea?
No. You have enough.
The two most stressful things...
moving and divorce.
You know, it's extremely unlucky
ill health should force your retirement.
I felt I could have continued, headmaster.
It was yourself and the governors who thought...
I was going to say
it's unlucky you're retiring before becoming entitled to a pension.
You have decided not to award me a pension?
Not I. Not I.
Lord Baxter and the governors thought long about it.
They were felt unable to make an exception.
But, uh, exceptions have been made in the past,
have they not?
Ah. Richardson. Exceptional circumstances.
It was in playing football...
staff against school...
he received his injury.
Oh. I understand.
Oh, headmaster.
Ha ha.
I was just leaving.
Oh, well, can I offer you a coffee?
It's too early for Sherry.
I'll leave you two.
Headmaster, I've completed the timetable...
It's hot.
If you'd like to take it with you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much, Andrew.
What do you make of tom Gilbert?
He seems very agreeable.
High academic honors at Oxford,
chancellor's prize for Latin verse.
Oh, Andrew got that, too,
and a double first.
Of course you did.
You must be one of the most brilliant scholars
ever to come to this school.
You're very kind.
It's hard to remember because you've done so much... timetable,
your heroic battle for so long with the soul-destroying lower fifth.
My soul hasn't been destroyed by the lower fifth.
No. I was only joking.
I see. What was the other matter
you wished to discuss?
Oh, nothing. I was saying, Laura,
two most stressing things...
moving house and divorce.
Well, bad luck, Andrew,
and, um... I'll see you later.
Bye, sir.
Well, do we get it?
Do we get what?
The pension.
Do we get the pension?
No.
What?
No.
Why not?
It's against the rules.
Richardson got one. Why can't you?
It was special circumstances.
He received his injuries playing soccer for the staff
against the school.
What did you say?
Just stood there and made some joke in Latin?
There was very little I could say
in Latin or any other language.
I would have said something.
I'm sure you would.
Jolly well.
Do you know what you are, Andrew?
You're a wimp.
You always were, and you always will be.
A double first-class wimp.
I think I could have forgiven you anything
if you'd have once said, "no. Enough."
Not just to me,
but to every setback you've ever had.
♪ There was an old lady of 92 ♪
♪ parlez-vous! Ooh! ♪ ♪
Out.
Enough. Out.
Out. Out.
Out!
Not you, taplow.
Stay there.
Out! Move it.
Come on.
You go to the crock's house for extra work, right?
Yeah.
"Yes, trubshaw."
Yes, trubshaw.
Very good.
What's the gossip there?
I-I don't know, trubshaw.
Word is Mrs. Crocker-Harris is having it off with somebody.
I-I really don't know.
Taplow, I've seen you.
Nothing happens without you knowing about it.
Who's she shagging?
Who is it?
Dr. rafferty?
I've no idea, honestly.
Would you like to give her one?
Have you ever seen her tits?
I have.
She was in the library once.
She bent over. No bra, nothing.
Gorgeous.
I bet you'd like to put your face between them, you little wanker.
Your parents coming down today?
No.
No?
Oh. Why not?
Oh! Your mother's having it off with somebody as well.
Word is...
She's a good fuck, your mother.
Is that right? Huh?
...to my left.
I've got the other half on my right, in that direction over there.
Ahh! Mrs... Mrs...
Wilson.
Wilson. How are you?
10 spaghetti and one lettuce leaf
isn't enough for a boy.
Ludwig says that's all he gets.
We pay enough in fees.
Please ensure he's properly fed.
I'll speak to the kitchens.
I don't believe in stuffing the boys.
Ah, king abakendi. He owns most of Nigeria.
Really?
Your majesty. How lovely to see you.
You know my wife Jane and lord Baxter,
head of eurospace industries, chairman of our governors,
and lady Baxter.
Delighted, delighted.
A chap from Nigeria working for me...
I'm sure you know him.
What is his name?
Oh, he's doing very well, this boy.
Marvelous job he's doing.
Now, your majesty, lord Baxter and I
would like to discuss our proposed...
What a lovely hat.
Lovely.
Opening the batting for the masters
is their captain David Fletcher.
This will probably be the last time
we will ever see David playing amateur cricket,
as he goes to London tomorrow to join the mcc.
I'm sorry, sir.
It is I who should apologize.
This is your room, not mine.
If you'll allow me to continue the chore of packing.
I came here because this room is to become
the center of the new language block,
and I didn't expect anyone to be here.
I shan't be very long, I promise you.
Please, don't hurry, sir.
This afternoon, I was feeling rather nervous,
attack of the jitters.
I thought if I came in here and rehearsed,
it might calm me.
I expect you'd laugh at me for that.
Why would you expect that?
You keep such order.
I saw that yesterday morning.
They call you the Hitler of the lower fifth.
That was clumsy of me, sir.
I'm sure nothing's meant by it.
You keep such wonderful discipline, that's all.
The Hitler of the lower fifth?
They're not bad boys.
Sometimes a little wild and unfeeling, perhaps,
but not bad.
In the beginning, I tried very hard
to communicate some of my own joy
in great literature of the past.
I failed as you will fail
999 times out of 1,000.
A single success can atone
for all the failures in the world.
Sometimes... very rarely, it's true...
sometimes I had that success.
The Hitler of the lower fifth.
I'm desperately sorry.
Don't apologize.
I, uh, should have known for myself
that I'm not only not liked
but positively disliked.
I realized many long years ago
that the boys no longer laughed at me,
but I don't know why they no longer found me funny.
Perhaps when you became ill.
No. No, I don't think so.
I really don't know.
In the earlier years, they used to laugh at me...
at me, not with me... at my, uh...
Funny mannerisms and tricks of speech,
which we all develop.
The Hitler of the lower fifth.
I would have thought that by now
that epithet would have lost its significance.
Apparently not.
Undoubtedly...
It will become my epitaph.
I'm sure they'll come up
with something much worse for me.
Well, I bequeath you this room.
I wish you a great success in it.
I'll do my best, sir.
And good luck to you in your future career.
My future career? Yes, thank you.
The, uh...
The boys do still call me the crock,
don't they?
I've seen the various displays of the very good work
that this money which we raise will keep going.
And there's another four runs to Fletcher.
Ah! Laura, Andrew.
Headmaster, lord Baxter.
Lord Baxter and I would like to ask
to have a little chat with you, Andrew.
Good time for a word?
With cricket, you can talk and watch.
Well-put, Laura.
A little favor to ask you.
What would that be?
It concerns tomorrow's prize-giving.
You're prepared to say a few words?
I have made some notes.
Well-hit, Fletcher!
Good. I know I can trust your discretion,
not to mention your wit.
These things are too long and distressing.
I've included a few puns and jokes.
That would be extremely acceptable.
Oh!
Fine stroke, Fletcher.
Yes, that's good. Just the thing.
I also want to touch on a matter of some gravity.
No doubt, no doubt.
The favor I ask is Fletcher is much, much junior to you,
and as such his speech would come first and yours last.
Absolutely.
You know how the boys feel.
They simply adore David.
There could well be a terrific display of emotion, difficult to cut short.
Fletcher's simply racing to his talent!
So, do you wish me to speak first?
I feel wretched about asking you this, Andrew.
A thing must come to a proper climax.
You understand, Laura?
Headmaster, I would not wish to provide an anticlimax.
I'll speak first.
Don't take it amiss.
Nothing personal. Boys will be boys.
They'd rather applaud the sportsman than the scholar.
It's only natural.
Well-played! Well-played!
The possibility of a century here for David Fletcher.
Ah!
Isn't Fletcher batting superbly?
Just fantastic, but I tell you,
every time he hits the ball,
I think he'll run to first base.
This could be his 100.
Oh!
That's 100 for Fletcher,
100 runs,
probably the last over before tea.
Tea, I think, everybody, before the rush.
Terrifically good idea.
I'd love some lemon.
Mmm. Tea and cakes.
Are you coming to tea?
I'd rather watch a little more cricket.
Frank, could you escort Laura, please?
Sure.
Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen,
as you know, the school supports many charities,
and some of the charities that we do support
will have stands in and around the chapel today
so that you can see the sort of work
that the school is doing...
Sir.
I'm sorry to disturb you,
but I did want to see...
disturb me, indeed. Well?
Well, taplow?
I...
I thought this might interest you, sir.
A first translation of the agamemnon, sir.
Good heavens.
The Browning version.
I don't think it's good.
I agree the translation has its faults,
but I think you'll enjoy it more
when you become more familiar
with the meter
that Robert Browning employs.
Very interesting, taplow.
It's for you, sir.
For me?
Yes, sir. I've written in it.
Did you buy this?
Yes, sir. It's only secondhand.
You shouldn't spend your pocket money in that way.
T-that's all right. It wasn't very much.
The price isn't inside, is it?
No. Only what you wrote. Nothing else.
What's the matter, sir?
Have I got the accents wrong?
No. The porispomenon is perfectly correct.
Oh.
Forgive me, taplow.
I've... I've been under rather a strain.
Yes, sir.
I understand.
Good-bye, sir... And the best of luck.
That's tea!
Ladies and gentlemen, the umpires have poured tea,
which will be taken in the large dining marquee...
Mr. Crocker-Harris.
Excuse me, sir.
Do you remember us, sir?
Don't tell me. Don't tell me.
Wait a moment. Trimmer, and you're Newton.
Yes, sir.
We just thought we'd say hello, sir.
What have you been up to?
Banking, sir.
I'm managing director of national Western.
And I'm in the army, sir. Communications.
Communications, eh?
But nothing classical Greek, I fancy.
Actually, Newton's the youngest brigadier in the British army.
Indeed. Congratulations.
Stand easy, brigadier.
Well, it's very nice to see you both.
I see Fletcher got his hundred, sir.
It's to be expected.
He's superb and quite beautiful to watch, isn't he?
Yes. Well, continued success to you.
- And to you. - Good luck, sir.
Sorry you're leaving.
I'm still terrified of the old bugger.
Me, too.
Wonderful, Fletcher. Well-played.
Splendid.
So there I was in the hotel corridor,
absolutely naked and no key.
[Frank I wish I'd been there.
Hello, Andrew.
You're looking pleased with yourself.
What have you done?
Well, I'm looking pleased with reason, I think.
I've been given a present.
By whom?
Taplow.
That's fantastic.
What was the present?
It's a translation of the agamemnon by Robert Browning.
Let me see.
Oh, he's inscribed it.
What does it mean?
Darling, what does it say?
Well, it's... It's all Greek to me.
Mr. Gilbert, can you enlighten us, please?
How marvelous.
It's a hexameter.
But what does it mean?
I'm not familiar with Browning's version,
but roughly it translates as,
"God, from afar, looks graciously upon a gentle master."
Oh, how sweet.
And very apt.
I can't imagine a boy giving me a present.
It's a very wonderful thing to do.
Yes.
He bought it with his own pocket money.
What was the inscription?
"God, from afar, looks graciously upon a kind master."
Perhaps not kind, but gentle master.
Yes. I agree with Mr. Gilbert. Gentle is better.
All right. It's a lovely gift.
I'd rather have this than anything I can think of.
Cunning little brat.
Why cunning, Laura?
Andrew, you don't have any wine.
Can I give you some champagne?
Why cunning, Laura?
Because...
Yesterday I saw taplow
doing an impersonation of you for Frank.
He was afraid I'd tell you
and you'd put him on cromwells
or stop his switch to Frank's form
or some hitlerian torture.
The book is clearly an insurance policy,
a sweetener, a bribe.
I see.
Laura, go and tell him it was a lie.
Certainly not. It wasn't a lie.
Then I'll tell him.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
He'd only hate you for your sympathy.
Andrew doesn't need sympathy.
It's his strength.
Andrew?
I want to make something clear about taplow.
He has a genuine affection for you.
Andrew, please believe me.
I think you should treasure that book.
I'd rather like to be left alone
at the moment, thank you.
You may find that it will have a special meaning.
Oh, yes, it will mean something.
It will remind me of my own foolishness.
You don't deserve this.
I mean...
You've been treated badly, sir.
By the school, you mean?
Not just by the school.
Never, never presume
to know the secrets of a marriage.
Take my advice... Sir.
Make a new start for yourself.
You could still find someone
who will care for you...
Who will be loyal, and who won't...
Who will... Be faithful.
Ah.
Hmm.
We...
We were incompatible from the moment we met, although neither of us
realized that at the time.
Of course, Laura was only 22 years of age.
We both required love but of different kinds.
Worlds apart.
So it's not really very tragic...
Or abnormal.
It's... Just a problem of a dissatisfied wife
and an inadequate husband...
Often, I believe, a subject for farce.
Is there anything I can do to help you?
I'd like to help you.
Yes. Don't take sides. It's so very unbecoming.
How was that?
Did you see that, Andrew?
112 not out, Fletcher,
and 7 for 23.
Skittled out the school.
Skittled them out.
Let me do that.
You left taplow's present behind.
I put it in your study.
Thank you.
It wasn't a very good impersonation.
I'm... I'm sorry.
Laura.
We, uh...
We inhabit different worlds, you and I.
We always have. We always will.
What are you saying?
I'm saying no.
I'm saying enough.
Better not keep the headmaster waiting.
Do you still expect me to come to your prize-giving?
I don't think either of us has the right any longer
to expect anything of the other.
Right. Well, I'll leave
first thing tomorrow morning, then.
As you wish.
And does your new school
provide splendid accommodation for staff?
We haven't found anything that we like yet.
I just read somewhere
the two most stressful things in life
are moving house and divorce,
so, Laura, if I were you...
I've finished my rounds.
I often think being a headmaster
is like being a headwaiter,
except headwaiters must speak at least five languages.
This isn't the best moment, sir,
but we're not staying the night.
If ever you need any financial advice,
assistance, indeed, anything of that sort, please telephone.
I'd like to help.
Think of it as, um... As repayment.
Thank you very much.
This is extremely civil of you.
See you.
O.K.
Good night.
He's in for a shock.
Aah!
What's going on? Are you all right?
Yeah! Yeah!
You little fucking bastards.
Yes.
Hello. Anybody there?
Oh, foster.
Sorry to disturb you.
I've come to pick up Mrs. Crocker-Harris.
Oh, yes. She's upstairs. Laura, Mr. foster's here.
I'm coming.
Glorious day.
Indeed, sir. Glorious.
Sorry to hear about your mother-in-law, sir.
Ah, yes. Yes.
Must be a disappointment, sir.
Your wife not being there for your farewell speech.
And... Well, if I may be so bold, sir...
Well, what is it, foster?
Well, I'd just like to say
the place won't be the same without you.
Thank you, foster. That's very kind of you.
Ah, hello, foster.
Would you mind? There's a couple of suitcases upstairs.
Thank you. I think there's just two more.
Well, now, I mustn't be late for the prize-giving.
No. No.
You look very impressive.
Yes.
Good-bye.
Ah, Andrew, there you are.
Right. Follow me, everyone.
Headmaster, I must tell you I've changed my mind.
I wish to speak second.
What about Mr. Fletcher?
He'll speak first.
But you promised yesterday.
I now see the matter in a different light.
We're ready for... just a second, trubshaw.
If you speak second... it will be the most dreadful anticlimax.
Be that as it may, it's my privilege.
We agreed yesterday.
All right, follow me, everyone.
The de Mille prize for French studies...
S.R. Ryan.
The Thompson prize for excellence...
S. Trubshaw.
Hanson cup for biology...
E.R. Morris.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's my painful duty
to listen with you to some sad words
from two masters who are leaving us.
First, I shall call upon...
First, let us call upon
Mr. David Fletcher!
I thought you were going to speak first.
Well, chaps,...
Ahem.
I'm not much good, you know, um...
You know, on my feet.
Except when I'm running between the wickets.
So I'll just say I'm really...
Sad, you know,
to be leaving this wonderful old place.
I've loved it here.
So, you know...
Good luck and...
Good-bye.
Now three cheers for David Fletcher.
Hip, hip...
Hooray!
Hip, hip...
Hooray!
Hip, hip...
Hooray!
And now...
Mr. Andrew Crocker-Harris.
Study of the classics, in my view,
is the foundation of our culture,
and culture is simply an expression
of what is best in society...
philosophy...
Decent government, justice, art, language.
Our classical heritage is no longer valued.
And how can we help mold civilized human beings...
If we no...
If we no longer believe...
In civilization?
I am sorry.
I'm sorry because...
I have deserved the epithet
Hitler of the lower fifth.
I'm sorry because I have failed to give you
what it is your right to demand of your teacher.
Sympathy, encouragement, humanity.
And I have degraded the noblest calling a man can follow...
the care and molding of the young.
When I came to this school...
I still believed that...
That I...
I had a vocation for teaching.
I knew what I wanted to do,
and yet I did not do it.
I can offer no excuses.
I have failed and miserably failed.
I only hope you can find it in your hearts,
you and the countless others who've gone before you,...
To...
Forgive me for letting you down.
I shan't find it easy to forgive myself.
That is all.
Sir? Sir?
Taplow. Boys.
Good-bye, sir.
Good-bye, taplow.
Gentlemen.
Taplow?
Hmm. Well, it means
if you have any regard for me next term,
kindly refrain from blowing yourself up
when you switch to science.
Thank you, sir. Yes.
Well-done, taplow.
Thanks a lot.
Well-done.
Well...
You'll miss your train.
I'll...
I'll write.