[Music]
happy holidays ho ho ho it's the
Christmas season and that means I'm
watching all the holiday Classics such
as um the regenerated man yeah but that
means that it doesn't matter if I'm home
or traveling because I have
expressvpn expressvpn is the perfect
gift for anyone trying to unlock their
streaming services ultimate potential
you know what I mean looking for a movie
but can't find it with expressvpn just
switch your location to another country
like the Netherlands and in an instant
you'll be watching your favorite Center
Claus movies in Crystal Clear high
definition grinches like like Netflix
Disney plus and other streamers hide
content from you based on the country
you're in so expressvpn Works a little
holiday spirit and unwraps the entire
Treasure Trove to you with a click of a
button and with over 100 countries to
pick from worldwide you can find
Christmas classics like elf in Australia
or horror slashers like Silent Night
deadly night only in the UK on Plex with
expressvpn the options are Limitless
find out how you can get yourself 3
months of Express VPN for free by going
to expressvpn.com
Cinemassacre or by clicking the link in
my description
below dark clouds lightning ominous
organ music and then ready for it ready
for it Final Fantasy 3 when you saw this
fiery font emerging from your crtv
burning across the room to your flannel
couch and heard those epic chords
ringing out across the wall papered
walls of your wood furnished living room
littered with fruit rollup wrappers and
Sunday newspaper Comics you knew you
were about to play a Super Nintendo game
that was truly super and unlike anything
that came before right away you're told
of an ancient war that reduced the world
to a scorched Wasteland and Magic simply
ceased to exist now machine energy is on
the rise but there are some who would
enslave the World by Reviving The Dread
destructive Force known as magic can it
be that those in power are on the verge
of repeating a senseless and deadly
mistake now that's taking video game
storytelling to a new level kind of goes
above and beyond go rescue the princess
or some [ __ ] the main story opens on a
snowy Peak we're introduced to Two
Soldiers of an Empire and terara who's
under their control the soldiers are
named vixs and wedge or bigs and wedge
in the Japanese version a Star Wars
reference they're search of an elusive
magical being known as an esper who they
have reason to believe is hibernating
somewhere in the icy caves they
mentioned that before terara was under
their control she had fried 50 of their
soldiers in under 3 minutes it already
raises many questions and builds mystery
are you enthralled yet this is some good
[ __ ] the three March into the snow in
their Mech suits known as magitech
armors as we realize we just watched a
pre-edit sequence to a video game we
watch them Trek through the 3D Winter
Wonderland with those mode 7 graphics
and that emotional cinematic score as we
anticipate the adventure that awaits us
we are about to play the greatest video
game of all
time that's right we're doing this and
what better time because I think of this
as a winter break type of game I
remember the time off from school and
also there's something about the cold
downcast Melancholy State the game
embodies also with the holiday season I
thought I'd give myself a little bit of
a gift you know cuz last time I played
one of the worst most fiery hellish
games of all time but now I play it
winter polar
[Music]
[Applause]
opposite
but with good games sometimes there
Comes A different kind of trauma let me
tell you a little story here as you
probably know this is not a game you
just pick up and play for 20 minutes
before you hop on the school bus or even
a couple hours after you've done your
homework this is a game that you chip
away at over several months it's a work
in progress a hobby of sorts that you
invest yourself in this is a game you
catch up on while you're sick it was the
longest most allc consuming game of its
era it came out in '94 but sometime I'd
say by the summer of 95 I had finally
made it to the final area kefka's Tower
the finale was in sight my heart was
pounding my pulse was racing I was
approaching the end of the most epic
Gaming experience of my life all of a
sudden the game froze yeah the screen
broke up into glitchy colors through
Decades of foggy memory I'd say it
looked something like this I had never
seen anything like that happen before
nor have I ever seen anything like it
since the game restarted or I had to
reset I can't remember which the opening
scene replayed which shouldn't happen so
that was a bad Omen so nervously I
waited until I got to the first save
point and there sure enough all my save
data was
erased true story I was definitely an
angry nerd that day especially for a kid
with no real life responsibilities no
family support nothing like that no
having your final fantasy gamer racee
was a big [ __ ] problem and that was
how my childhood experience with that
game ended and in almost 30 years since
I never again attempted to beat the game
I just could not bear to invest myself
in it so deeply again it's like losing a
pet and then deciding to get another pet
only to one day again face the
inevitable that was [ __ ] sad I'm
sorry but that theme of loss is commonly
cited as being a big part of the game
storyline and now that so much time has
passed maybe it's time to give it a shot
again because I'm going to do it this is
my second chance I'm going to complete
my
[Music]
childhood
when this game first came out it was the
most expensive game I ever bought with
my own money it was close to 80 bucks
when most Super Nintendo games were
closer to 60 I distinctly remember
walking into KB Toys at the mall with my
saved up cash I remember the clerk
agreeing that it was overly pricey but
to be fair he said this game takes like
5 to 8 months to beat which back then
was a big deal the manual was almost
like a whole DN dbook full of character
stats and information it even came with
a double-sided map Final Fantasy 3 was
the biggest game of its time also I just
got to say I know I've been calling it
Final Fantasy 3 because I'm playing the
Super Nintendo version and that's what
it's called of course the super famicom
version is called six which we all know
is the true sequential number but back
then I had no idea and neither did
anyone else I knew not until 7 came out
on play station and I was like what how
did we get to 7 already now everyone
knows the story I even covered it way
back in my chronologically confused
episode the mixup has long been cleared
everyone calls it six now but the
cartridge still says three the title
screen still says three every time I
played it still says three I tried
giving it the finger and telling it [ __ ]
you you're wrong but the game still says
three fact so what made this game
different from other fantasy adventure
games like
Zelda well everything this was the first
RPG I ever played my first glimpse of it
was at a friend's house I remember
seeing the battle screen and wondering
why are the characters just slashing at
the air why are there a bunch of numbers
popping up I wasn't used to this more
automated luck-based fight system what
is this I thought some kind of flashy
board game turned into a video game I
actually wasn't that far off having
already owned those those role-playing
board games like heroquest and dragon
strike I wasn't fully aware how far back
its history went with DND I didn't know
RPGs were a thing but after Final
Fantasy 3 on Super Nintendo I sure as
hell
[Music]
did anyone who's played the game knows
how it works but basically you build up
a large Ensemble of Heroes you travel
through towns caves and dungeons
collecting items fighting monsters
meeting people gaining spells and
abilities and steadily advancing the
storyline on paper it's like your
typical Adventure game but one of the
things that made it so extra special for
the time was the massive amount of
weapons and accessories to equip
yourself with and all the magic and
skills to learn once you start acquiring
the espers you can assign them to
characters so they can learn learn
certain spells as you go on this all
gives the player the freedom of
customizing your characters however you
see fit and trying out different
combinations of abilities speaking of
customizing just the fact that you can
name all them was a fresh concept sure
you could do it in games before but not
with that many characters there's also
lots of Parts where the characters split
up into multiple groups so you get to
pick who goes in each group and who
leads the characters are really the core
element of why this game was so
groundbreaking never had there been such
an amazing Ensemble all with their own
unique personalities and Rich
backstories the camaraderie of these
characters really shines through it's
all about building the team it's Wizard
of Oz it's Lord of the Rings over the
course of the adventure you come to know
them almost like real people and the
fact they can achieve this with little
pixelated Sprites and minimal graphic
technology is a major accomplishment
passion always comes through in spite of
limitations there isn't even a clear
main character they all seem just as
important if I had to pick one I'd say
terara whose father was an esper which
is where her gifted magical abilities
come from much of her story is about
trying to find her identity and place in
the world having fought on the Empire
side through mind control she now tries
to rectify that by fighting alongside
the heroes Celeste or celus also used to
be on the Empire side and has been
genetically powered through magic she
eventually turns against the empire lock
is a thief or treasure hunter as he
prefers who's bitter after his
girlfriend was killed by the Empire he
eventually has a romantic yet
complicated relationship with Celeste
Edgar is the king of figuro who pretends
to be in Alliance with the Empire but is
really on the good guy side and on top
of that his entire Castle is set on fire
so he's also had his share of tragedy
he's a little bit sketchy though what
the [ __ ] Savin is Edgar's brother who
leads the Royal life to be free he looks
like guile and his Blitz moves use
similar button commands to Street
Fighter Cayenne is a samurai type
character his Town's water supply was
poisoned by the main villain kfka
killing almost everyone including his
wife and son Shadow is a more mysterious
type of character a Ninja Assassin an
outlaw vigilante he has his loyal dog by
his side and he always comes and goes
unexpectedly the best is when he swoops
in to help during a key battle GA is
sort of a Tarzan type character living
in the wild raised by animals maybe
that's why he scoots on the ground uh
like when your pet leaves those [ __ ]
comets there's also Setzer the Han Solo
like Gambler with the fastest Airship
which happens to be called the Falcon
there's the little kid realm and her
surrogate grandfather strago there's
goggo with with the power of mimic and
umaro the brute Yeti who's So Physical
he actually throws the other characters
look at that and my favorite is MOG
what's his deal well um he's a Mughal I
don't know I just love this guy so
[ __ ] cute so with all these
characters it really shows how far games
had come by that point long gone were
the days when it was just pick the guy
or pick the girl now it was so much more
than that and those are just the
playable characters we can't forget
[Music]
Keva KFA is possibly the greatest video
game villain ever conceived he suffered
from an experimental magic infusion by
the Empire which made him go insane
after Rising the power he's become a
psychotic Tyrant who is hellbent on sens
less destruction he backs it up with
cynical pessimistic ideology making
statements like there's no point of
clinging to life when everyone must
eventually die the dude is messed up
Keva has caused so much turmoil and
given all the characters their own
individual reasons to consider him a
mortal enemy despite ripping the world
apart he brings these characters
together with a common goal so the game
is very heavy on characters and story
and that usually is the most discussed
aspect of the game as far as the actual
gameplay goes it's Innovative as well
but does it have some flaws sure
probably but in this context they are
forgivable especially given how
pioneering this game was the Random
Encounters on the Overworld screen can
get a little Annoying and the leveling
up and grinding can sometimes feel
monotonous even though the combat
screens are so strangely addicting
leveling up to Max can not only take an
insane amount of out of time but can
also make the game too easy also when
you're in a town sometimes people can
get in your way come on come on move
your ass come on dude come on get out of
my way you [ __ ] a oh no no no no no come
on out of my way walking in general can
feel a little clumsy you can't go
diagonal Square soft later corrected
this with Chrono Trigger man now that's
a [ __ ] good game too hm maybe that's
the other greatest game of all time the
movement is much smoother I also like
how you can see all the characters
following you but in Final Fantasy they
all sort of combine into one character I
never understood that you know one time
I was working at a convenience store and
this guy came in and then he like split
up like like his body like divided into
four people yeah turned out he was with
his family it is cool that the game
shows you how much time you've put put
in although I don't know how accurate
that is because it's possible to leave
the game on while you're not playing
also why does it tell you how many steps
you've taken are the characters wearing
an early version of a step tracker for
Fitness one of the things I hate is
whenever there's a boss or enemy that
has a fatal attack that nukes your
entire party so you have to time it with
a life three spell or anything to revive
at least one member or something to
avoid it this doesn't feel like strategy
it feels almost like a cheat when the
game is unfair you got to be unfair I am
aware that sometimes it's possible to
get soft locked yeah it's rare but say
for example one character dies and the
other one in the party has Paws casted
on him situations like that can really
suck because now you lost a whole lot of
progress let's talk about the abundance
of attacks and spells first of all the
characters all have their own special
abilities Cayenne has sword Tech where
you charge up and attack Shadow throws
weapons from your inventory and has his
Interceptor move MOG has all the crazy
dances Edgar has tools like a drill and
a chainsaw complete with a Jason Vorhees
mask I don't use his bioaster that much
but I love how it looks strago has the
lure ability to learn the enemy spells
and because Setzer is a gambler his
moves are based on a slot machine
outcome GW has rage where he uses the
enemy attacks Sabin has the moves like I
said it can suck when you mess up the
button command but these moves are some
of the most powerful in my experience
especially the bum rush but my favorite
might be the suplex I mean the dude can
pick up an entire Train That's
hardcore as I already mentioned you can
teach all the characters spells with the
espers but also you can use the actual
espers to cast massive spells of their
own there's some amazing psychedelic
Graphics here it does things you
wouldn't even imagine were possible on
the Super Nintendo I remember when I
first saw this stuff I was like what the
hell it seemed like my TV screen was
melting then there's the more comedic
esper spells like cat rain yeah just a
cartoon cat that comes by the design of
the enemies is a work of art in itself
they differ from the tiny pixelated Hero
characters since they're so detailed and
can be very large take a look at Atma is
that thing intimidating or what how
about chupon Poltergeist Behemoth Doom
or Hades Gus Colossus that's metal as
[ __ ] final word on the graphics with all
the Spells and enemies it's a Marvel to
look at it's some of the best stuff to
come out of the SNES but it doesn't stop
there the sound effects are amazing and
the music by no uatu sounds like it
could have been the score for a major
film
[Music]
there's been lots of great video game
soundtracks up till this point but this
took it to a whole new level some of the
best music is featured in the opera
scene and speaking of that this is one
of the most memorable scenes fans have
praised it for its storytelling and its
epic nature there's no denying what an
ambition achievement this was for gaming
but the actual game play my God this is
the most tedious part so basically in
the story you're Celeste taking the
place of Maria an opera singer the whole
thing is a scheme to trick Setzer to get
him into your party but anyway what
sucks about it is you have to remember
the song lyrics which you find prior to
that but if you mess any of it up you
have to start all over
again and there's about 30 minutes of a
stretch where you can't save the game as
a kid you did not want to get called to
dinner or get interrupted in any way or
God forbid have a power outage back then
before Autos saving and sleep mode and
before the internet existed as we know
it today we would often get stuck and
had to ask friends to share information
on how to get through not even Nintendo
Power offered much help to this game I
mean how could it but let's talk about
one of the game's most pivotal chapters
of all it happens after KFA opens the
gate to the esper World which causes a
major geological event where the entire
Island becomes the floating continent
the group drops from the Airship onto
the island and proceeds to embark on a
massive dungeon-like sequence navigating
through an elaborate and unstable Maze
of crumbling areas and teleportation
holes and fighting all kinds of
difficult Monsters the fact that I have
to gloss over this part of the
experience says so much about the
importance of what happens next at this
point in the game you've played for so
long you would be more than satisfied If
This Were the final confrontation
doesn't it seem like it KFA kills the
emperor officially making himself the
head villain and he unleashes the power
of the Gods If This Were an Indiana
Jones movie this is where the villain
would be destroyed by their own
recklessness it has all the formula of a
classic confront a that would be
followed by a final peaceful resolution
but
no you race a timer to leave the
continent and when you reach the edge to
LEAP back onto the Airship you're given
the option to wait for shadow or else
you permanently lose him as if you're
not already [ __ ] your pants this guy
makes you run the timer down to almost
the last possible [ __ ] second after
this we witness a global catastrophe
unlike like anything before in a game
the ground rips apart people fall into
earthquakes the Airship is torn in half
everyone is scattered and lost and then
we're met with a black screen with a
simple line that resonates so much on
that day the world was changed forever
imagine playing this as a kid back in
the day before the internet as we know
existed and we didn't know what was
going to happen next I mean this could
be the ending it could just be one big
miserable Downer
or we could be nowhere near the end
Celeste awakens on a small deserted
island being cared for by Sid who's like
a parental figure and has a lot of
history with the final fantasy series
anyway after she gains Consciousness Sid
succumbs to his own sickness and you
need to care for him by catching and
feeding him fish he can either live or
die which doesn't change a whole lot
with the outcome of the game but if he
dies you witness the most depressing
scene of any game I've ever played
Celeste goes to the top of a cliff
reminisces about lock and how everyone's
gone and with nothing left in her life
she tries to end it all looking back
this is the darkest and most shocking
thing I've ever seen in a game that was
played by kids but Celeste survives
finds out lock is still alive takes a
raft and embarks on a new Quest by going
in such a dark place the game is able to
make a point that no matter how Bleak
things seem there's always hope when you
think about it this is why KFA is such a
relevant antagonist because he thinks
life is meaningless he uses his own
trauma to spread Despair and bring down
all the others he tries to make all the
other characters give up do you want to
give up after how far you've come hell
no
even though you've lost everything and
now have to find where your friends have
gone collect all new items and explore
the transformed landscape which is now
called the world of ruin this idea was
not a Brand New Concept Zelda linked to
the Past had a similar idea with the
light and dark worlds but the way it's
done here is entirely different and more
relatable as you go on all that talk of
the previous world and how things used
to be makes so much more sense as an
adult
as a kid how are you supposed to
reminisce on the good old days you have
to grow up and experience life first so
for that reason what I'm trying to say
here is that not only does this game
hold up today it's actually better as an
adult gez all that talk of how the world
went to [ __ ] is eerily similar to what
happened in the spring of 2020 when it
wasn't even possible to function in the
same way or do the same things but we
made that climb back we restored we're
[ __ ] back and likewise this game
gives you that feeling of building back
because now you have to play the rest in
the words of Rambo nothing is over in
the words of the Angry Video Game Nerd
we're only halfway through the [ __ ]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
game
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
look at all the
[Music]
stairs look at all these [ __ ]
stairs wait a minute I'm having a
flashback when we get to 20 tell me I'm
going to throw up so once you've gained
back all your characters leveled them up
enough learned enough spells and build
up all your resources you can make the
call and go to kfa's Tower you divide
into three parties the choices you make
are crucial because each group is going
to be taking an entirely different path
you're going to have to survive through
many battles so unless you spend enough
time grinding you might end up with one
party that's way weaker than the others
so hopefully you have their powers
spread out wisely this is it the final
Challenge and the place where my game
glitched remember that theme a loss I
lost my whole [ __ ] game and now it's
time to get it
back
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
let me ask a question have you ever
walked into a bathroom to fight a
Monster yeah he's right near a toilet
that's a real shitty battle KK's Tower
is an endurance you'll be begging for a
[ __ ] safe spot and have many close
calls oh man I hope it doesn't glitch
again or anything else
happens
[Music]
no just kidding I have a battery back up
yeah it's all good oh hey look at that
the power's back back on already okay
all right let's beat this game
quick
Santa Merry Christmas nerd Merry
Christmas there's nothing I love more
than filming
skits hey Santa I'm a little busy right
now are you still playing that game nerd
why that was last year wasn't
it oh
[ __ ]
[Music]
oh well you could use a break from that
game anyway right
nerd you know you're right I could use a
break Santa Santa oh come sit on my lap
little boy well actually I'm going to
sit you on your [ __ ] lap oh
you take a [ __ ] break you're cold
Christmas
[Music]
nerd oh and he raced it all too oh what
the [ __ ] oh no that's it no no no no no
no no I'm not letting this go I'm going
to beat it right here right
now
[Music]
anyway now that I'm back I made it
through kefka's Tower the three parties
reach the final area and regroup as one
full Ensemble for what can only be the
climax I've done it I've made it to the
final battle kfka gives a cynical speech
about the meaningless of Life while the
heroes counter telling of what they've
learned through the the course of their
adventure and the things they hold dear
to them friendship family love freedom
all their stories have come together in
a satisfying way and then KFA calls for
the greatest power of the universe
Standing On Top of fiery Peak he says
he'll create a monument to
non-existence this is when you start to
wonder why this wasn't written as a
stage play or feature film next you
determine the order of your characters
fighting and then it's
on holy [ __ ] it's Satan what else could
it be and if this wasn't enough after
he's defeated the screen Quakes and
Scrolls upward as you must face a whole
tree of bosses it's like bosses growing
upon bosses upon bosses mother
[ __ ]
oh my
God what is this all supposed to be
anyway it's like you're fighting
Renaissance art it's as if
Michelangelo's the last judgment came to
life and tried to kill you and The
Haunting choir and organ music gives it
an epic biblical effect some have even
said the three tiers of bosses represent
hell purgatory and Heaven dude if you
have to fight hell purgatory and Heaven
you better just call the day yeah and
we're not even at
[Music]
kka oh my
God this is not KFA as you'd expect
after becoming so familiar with that
Clowny little sprite now he becomes a
wicked angel floating against a golden
cloudy Sky blasting with Heavenly light
beams they went above and beyond to make
this the most epic final boss in gaming
history and I can't stress enough that
if you're not leveled up properly and
have enough life three spells you're
just going to get wiped out in one
[Music]
hit I'm going to do it
I'm going to do it I'm going to do it
I'm going to do
it I did it I did it after almost 30
years I finally beat Final Fantasy 3 or
six when you first hear that defining
crackle and see kefa wither away into
ashes it's a feeling like no other you
just beat the greatest game of all time
and then you get a cinematic ending that
goes on for over 20 minutes just sit
back and enjoy because for everything
you went through they knew when they
made this game that you [ __ ] deserve
it another bucket list item checked off
it was worth going back and reclaiming
that magic I feel Nostalgia is that it's
most powerful this time of year the
magic of the holidays hearkens back to a
more innocent time the game itself is
about characters who are literally
trying to reclaim Magic from a bygone
era and I can say the magic inside this
cartridge is still strong on the top
tier of the good ass scale there's a few
levels games that are good like Robin
Hood dope as a kaleidoscope and [ __ ] me
through the [ __ ] ceiling this was the
first gaming Masterpiece of its kind
there's only room in life for so many
games to make such a lasting impression
on you when you're a kid and for me this
is it this is one of those and now I
feel a sense of closure that I finally
completed it having
taken almost 30 years but now now that's
finally done guess
what there's 16 in
[Music]
them oh