一个三明治和加怪物芝士的芝士汉堡 one stick sandwich and a cheese burger with monster cheese
-我们没怪物芝士 -什么时候开始没的? -we're out of monster -oh since when?
这餐馆是82年开张的 所以82年开始就没 the diner opened at 82 so 82
嗨 抱歉 但是我们没有怪物奶酪 hi sorry but we're out of monster
真的么? 我想要怪物奶酪 seriously dude? I want a monster
抱歉 我们有切达干酪 瑞士乳酪或者美国干酪 sorry we have Cheddar Swiss or American
我讨厌切达和瑞士乳酪 I hate Cheddar and Swiss blows
好吧 那美国干酪呢 well then American?
美国干酪 我现在在哪儿?小学吗 American cheese where am I? grade school?
对 去校长办公室 别留在这儿 yeah go to the principal's office
我身边已经全是白痴了 I can't have another idiot on my ass right now it's at capacity
Max 我来处理 Max I got this
你想再看看菜单吗? would you like to see the menu again?
这玩意根本没用好吗 我要怪物奶酪 this is crap okay? I want a monster
比起招待你这么个幼稚男人 well I wanted to be running a fourtune 500 company
我更想经营一家财富500强公司 但是 instead of waiting on a toxic man-child like yourself but
事不如人愿 所以点个别的 we can't always get what we want so order something else put it in your pie hole
速度吃完走人 and get on with your damn life
欢迎成为女招待 我们等了你好久了 welcome to waitress we've been expecting you
破产姐妹 第一季 第十三集 天天美剧字幕组 本字幕仅供学习交流 严禁用于商业用途 =============================
时间轴: 苍野 朱丁儿 听译:MIA D- 朱丁儿 LEAH 校对:猴子 囧小雪 黄鱼 阿飘 压制:carl315 =============================
拿着 10号桌的 Earl 明天有什么让人激动计划吗? here you go table 10 Earl have any exciting plans for tomorrow?
让自己别睡着睡着就翘了 Max 你呢 just trying to not die in my sleep Max how about you?
去看Caroline的小马 他被个有钱的白人女士给收养了 gonna visit Caroline's horse he's adopted by a rich white lady
她能给他一切我们负担不起的东西 真的是一切 who can give him everything we can't afford to which is everything
白人啥都愿意收养 white people wanna adopt anything
我已经计划好了探望Chestnut的最佳路线 I figured out the best way to go see Chestnut
我们要先搭地铁J线 然后换乘4号线到中央车站 we take the J train to the 4 the 4 to grand central
再换车到河谷 然后步行3个街区到达他的昂贵的新马厩 change transfer to Riverdale and walk 3 blocks to his fancy new stable
好远 我是不是得带上摄像机来个摄像观光游了 sounds exhausted do I need a travel shot?
没那么夸张 不过在车站过道下我们被人拿枪"摄"中倒是可能 no but there's a dicey underpass at grand central where we might get shot
-好激动啊 可以再见到我的宝贝儿子了-我也是 -I am so excited to see my baby again -me, too
在Lifetime(女性频道)电影场景中 我们到了那里 in the lifetime movie version we get there
却发现Chestnut更喜欢他的新家 然后我们嚎啕大哭 and Chestnut likes his new home better and then we cry
不好意思 打扰一下 我是Rya excuse me hi sorry to bother you I'm Rya
我刚刚尴尬的发现 我生理期来了 I'm a little embarrassed I just got my period
恭喜中奖 Mazel Tov
-你们谁有卫生棉吗? -我没 -do either of you have a tampon? -not me
我生理期时会躲进树林 直到它结束 I just go off to the woods and don't come out till it's over
-我有-真的很抱歉打扰到你们了 -I have one -I'm so sorry to bother you guys
不 没事 借用卫生巾也算是种姐妹缘 no no problem sisterhood to the traveling panty shields
-事实上我没带 我这有25美分的硬币 -actually no I don't have one here's a quarter
女厕所里有个卫生棉贩卖机 -多谢 there's a tampon machine in the ladies' room -thanks
6号桌的菜 pick up table 6
我偷听到了 我有卫生棉 I couldn't help overhear I have tampon
Oleg 你为什么会有卫生棉 Oleg why do you have a tampon?
和我不吸烟却带着打火机的理由是一样的 same reason I carry a lighter even though I don't smoke
当救世主的感觉太棒了 feels good to be the hero
不好意思 你还有零钱么? 卫生棉要75美分 sorry again but do you have any more change? it's 75 cents
-25美分 -贩卖机上写了75美分 -it's a quarter -75 said so on the machine
最好别是这样 我会对那机器大发雷霆的 it better not or I'm about to rage against the machine
什么? what?
Han现在就给我进来 Han I need to see you in here now
-可这里是女厕所 -没事的 -but that is the ladies' room -you're fine
女人们经常会把她们的儿子也带进来 women bring their little boys in here all the time
里面的人都穿戴整齐了吧? everybody decent?
有个男人进女厕所了哦 我对我的入侵表示抱歉 man in the ladies' room I apologize for personal intrusion
你不用遮着眼睛 这是女厕所不是日食 you don't have to cover your eyes it's a ladies' room not a solar eclipse
Max为什么你想要在这么个不合适的地点见我 Max why do you want to see me in this inappropriate meeting place?
这就是原因 这个卫生棉贩卖机 this is why the tampon machine
这可不是男人的话题 ooh this is not the man topic
我不想讨论 每月女士们必须追逐棉鼠的那段时间 I do not wish to discuss time of the month when ladies must chase the cotton mouse
追逐棉鼠? 上帝 你在哪儿接受你的性教育的? chase the cotton mouse? Geez where did you get your sex education?
儿童喜剧? Han 你改了卫生棉的价格吗 Lamb Chop's Play-Along? Han you changed the price of tampons?
*(Lamb Chop's Play-Along是一档九十年代的儿童电视剧)*
-对 这不是个妥当的话题 -不 这不是个妥当行为 -yes this is not appropriate talk -no this is not appropriate action
它们必须一直都25美分 看这机器旧成啥样了 they've been a quarter forever look how old this machine is
以前Harold Thomas都在这里买过卫生棉(Harold Thomas是美国19世纪著名废奴主义者) Harriet Tubman used to get her tampons here
我是个商务男人 重点是男人 我不该在这里 I'm a businessman emphasis on the man I do not belong in here
别让我追 你这傲慢的小鼠 hey hey don't make me chase you you little cocky mouse
听着Han 每个人都知道 在别人急需的某些东西上 look Han everyone knows there're certain things people need in emergency
你是不能提价的 that you never raise the price on
-比如说? -想都不用想 肯定是卫生棉和40盎司的啤酒 -things like what? -off the top my head tampons and 40 ounce beers
Max你干嘛那么生气 就是多了2个25美分而已 Max why are you so upset it's only 2 more quarters
Han那可是提价了200% 太夸张了 Han that's a 200 percent price high that's outrageous
你在占妇女的便宜 you're taking advantage of women
如果男人也有生理期 if men were the ones who got periods
卫生棉就会像在狂欢节上一样 免费从花车上撒下来 tampons would be throwing free from floats like Mardi Gras beads
我11岁时去过一次狂欢节 我妈和她的新男朋友想要出去 I went to Mardi Gras once I was 11 my mom and her new boyfriend wanted to go
他们需要个代驾司机 and they need a designated driver
Earl我想要个男人的建议 Earl I need the man's opinion
我是否有权力提价我店里任何商品? is it to my right to raise the price on any product in my diner?
-我们在说那种商品? -卫生棉 -what product are we talking about? -tampons
哦 天哪 oh brother
你该放松 然后停止干涉 uh you gotta just relax and butt out
相信我 这种情况我见多了 trust me I've been in this situation a long time
记得Flow阿姨吗? 那是我的阿姨 (aunt Flow就是大姨妈的意思) remember aunt Flow? that was my aunt
Han 你是可以在生意上占点便宜 但是这是不应该的 Han just because you can take advantage of a business situation doesn't mean you should
这是供需法则 -it is law of supply and demand
好吧 那么我要求你从供给角度 调回价格 fine then I demand you roll back the price on the supply
得了Han 别那么计较了 come on Han don't be so 1 percent about it
你认为"占领华尔街"是件大事? you think Occupy Wallstreet was a big deal?
等着 你会看到'占领卫生棉'的 wait till you see Occupy Tampon
我们一个月就抗议一次 但是一次会持续5-7天 we only protest once a month but it's intense 5 to 7 days
找到了 我找到这种牛奶了 比找到黄油还快 got it I found the milk and I found it even faster than a butter
他们可没故意把它藏起来 you know they're not hidding it from you
这是个杂货店 不是寻宝活动 It's a grocery store not a sovereignty scavenger hunt
在杂货店购物太有意思了 grocery shopping is so fun
在我小时候 我常常想东西都是从哪来的 when I was little I was wondering where the stuff came from
这是什么? What's that?
给我妈的生日贺卡 -啊 让我看看 -birthday card for my mom - ah let me see
"祝早日健康" 我以为你说的是这个生日卡 "Get better soon" I thought you said it was a birthday card
这是用来改善我们关系的 it is that's the only one that seem to profit for our relationship
你真要在她的生日时送张祝福病人的贺卡? do you really want you mom to get a get-well-card on her birthady?
好吧 这里有张带草莓的贺卡 这个不错 okay here is the one with the strawberry that's fine
不管如何 我夹50美元进去就是 it's really about the 50 bucks inside anyway
-这真让我伤心- 伤心?看我的 -that makes me sad - sad? I can fix that
请你吃 包你立刻好心情 have a treat put you right back up
Max你砸开了一包糖 Max you just staved a bag of candy
没事 就当黑帮路过干的好事 it's okay it's just a gang came though and did it
一个糖果帮?哪种的?像莎拉小子? a candy gang? what? like a Sarah Patch kids?
快点离开 装无辜 就这么办 just step away and pretend you didn't do it that's what you do
我们需要10盒Duncan Hines蛋糕的混合调料 we just need to grab 10 boxes of Duncan Hines cake mix somewhere done
我们为什么要做这些? why do we need to do that?
你说为什么 当然是做纸杯蛋糕啦 why do you think to make the cupcakes
我以为纸杯蛋糕是在家自做的 I thought the cupcakes were home-made
是啊 我是在家做的 they are I make them in my home
你一直在用蛋糕混合调料? you've been using a box cake mix?
别急 我只是在我很累的时候用一下下 relax I only use them when I'm tired
我有一个专属的秘密配方 and I had a secret ingredient of my own
能让蛋糕无人可敌 ato the mix to make them irresistible
所以你不羞于买店里的蛋糕调料 so you have no shame using the store-bought mix.
我做什么都不羞愧 羞愧都算是高估了 就像是卡莎 I have no shame about anything shame is overrated like ke$ha
事实上 他们该把羞愧用 "卡羞 "来冠名 In fact they should rename shame "ke$hame "
我买了张卡莎的唱片 我觉得太"卡羞愧" I just bought a ke$sha album I'm so "ke$hamed "
都没人为我们打包吗? isn't there someone to do this for us?
他们肯能正在货架的过道中 打扫糖果帮留下的烂摊子呢 they are just probably in the aisle and cleaning up the candy gang
今晚这里可没什么糖果帮 there was no candy gang in here tonight
倒是有个鬼祟的顾客 不是吗 that was a sneaky customer though wasn't it
嘿 看 这个是给Chestnut买的 hey look for Chestnut
我像兔子一样迫不及待的带着叶子把它们装进了购物车 I can't wait I got them in the can with tops on like buzz bunny
等明天见到我俩 他会很激动的 he'll be so excited when he sees the two of us tomorrow
我知道 就像是见到妈妈和胡萝卜 I know - looks like mommy and the carrots
好了 你们一共要付70.49美元 alright now you're totally 70.49$
-哇 看上去花了很多啊 -定价的不是我 你不知道吗 -WOW that seems like a lot - I don't make the prices though do I?
-没 我只是这么一说而已 - 还真是没完没了啊 不是吗 -no I was just commenting - well that's not see an end though isn't it?
我这里有优惠券 here here are the coupons
优惠券? 对 拿着 the coupons? - yeah here
Max你用优惠券? Max you use coupons?
我搞不懂了 I had no idea
你别弄的我好像在"隐形摄像机"节目里 you're looking at me like I am on "to catch a predator"
我们没必要用这个 我带着我的小费 we don't need to use those I have my tip money right here
你在说什么 我有优惠券 来 拿着 what're you talking about I have coupons here take them
我有... 不行 I have... I can't
我不想用 我已经如此堕落了 I don't want to I've fallen so far
我不想用 我已经如此堕落了 不能再堕落下去了 别逼我 I can't fall any further don't make me
不用羞愧 there is no need to go down like "ke$hame" Sparrow
嗨 她有优惠券 -不 你说你有优惠券 hi she has coupons - oh no you tell me you have coupons
你该早点告诉我的 包你立刻好心情? you should have told me before though shouldn't ya?
我一点也不想告诉你 是她逼着我说的 不是“咩”? I dont wanna tell you at all she made me now didn't ya?
这又不是什么大事 很多人都用优惠券的 look it's not a big deal lots of people use coupons
-优惠券是给 -穷人用的 对 就像我们这样的 -coupons are for -poor people yes like us
站在收银台前 说着 people stand at the cashier register and say things like:
哇 70美元听上去好多哦" "WOW 70 dollars that seems like a lot"
一共要付12.7美元 you are now totally 12.70$
等等 就这么从70变成12了? 就像这样? wait it just went from 70 dollars to 12? just like that?
用更少的钱买到了同样的东西? the same food for less money?
一模一样的东西? 怎么可能? the exact same food? how was that even possible?
你用了优惠券 不是"咩"? you use coupons though didn't ya?
Max优惠券太赞了! Max coupons are genius!
-我知道我迟到了 -我刚从Chestnut那收到条短信 -I'm late I know - I just got a text from chestnut
"你们在哪儿? 我正穿着我最漂亮的衣服在等你们呢" "where are you? I’m wearing my best suit."
它最漂亮的衣服还有四个小铃铛呢 对马来说不错了 his top suit is with the four bells but that's pretty good for a horse
我有理由的 15个鸡肉派 I have a good reason 15 chicken pop pies
市场价1.47元 优惠价:免费! regular price:1.47$ coupon price: FREE!
因为我买了15个 然后用了双份免费优惠券 cos I bought 15 and use the double coupons in free-style Combo
听听看 我已经在用术语了吧? listen to me was the lingo already?
这让我想起了我在华尔街实习的第一天 it reminds me my first date interning on Wallstreet
鸡肉派? 你根本不喜欢吃 chicken pop pies? you don't even like them
喜不喜欢吃不重要 重要的是免费 what does it matter if I like them or not they were free
这是免费的哦 谁不喜欢免费的东西? it's free money who doesn't like free money?
我不知道免不免费 I don't know about free money
但是今天似乎第一次看到某人像吸了免费白粉一样兴奋 but this's like watching someone's free-base for the first time
Chestnut现在很好 这又不是什么大事 Chestnut is fine it's not a big deal
我又收到条Chestnut的短信 I just got another text from Chestnut
"我好寂寞哦 我要吸口烟缓解一下" "I'm so lonely I just tried smoking"
我们可以明天去 we can go tomorrow
在Lifetime电影场景中 in the Lifetime movie version
我们错过了法院指定的亲子见面 we just missed the date we were appointed by the court
然后Chestnut的新父母带他离开了这个城市 我们嚎啕大哭 and Chestnut's new parents move him out of the town and we cry
我知道啦 就在今早我睁眼醒后 I get it it's just after last night
我开始深深的着迷于优惠券 I woke up fascinated by the concept of coupons
所以我进行了一些搜索 我发现在网上有这么个女人 so I did some research I found this women online
自封为威廉堡优惠券女王 who called herself the Williamsburg Coupon Queen
她把它们称作 "Qoupons" 是这么发音的么? and she calls them "Qoupons" Is that the correct way to pronounce it?
我要跟随她的步伐 I'm gonna go with her way
毕竟 她可是女王啊 after all she is the queen
南瓜罐头? canned pumkin?
10罐! 双重优惠券 每个5美分 ten cans! double coupon 5 cents each
太好了 因为晚上我一直都会躺在床上思考 great 'cos I'm always lying in bed at night thinking
我希望我能撬开一罐南瓜 I wish I could crack open a can of pumkin
我还找到张优惠券 oh and I found a coupon for you
你可以用它买份像样的礼物 果篮什么的 寄给你母亲 to send to your mom Edible Arrangement for her birthday
菠萝 小雏菊之类的比夹在卡片里的钱可赏心悦目多了 a pretty pineapple daisy is so much more than cash in a card
它打六折哦 and it's for 40 percent off the regular price
这真是太棒了 因为我妈比起正常妈妈 也是打了六折 that's perfect because my mom was 40 percent off a regular mom
Max 这个袋子里还有我为你买的别的东西哦 Max I do have something else for you in this bag
肯定会让你很开心的东西 something that'll make you very happy
当我厌倦了南瓜罐头再给我个山药罐头? canned yam for when I get tired with the canned pumpkin?
是更好的东西哦 看 better look
看着点Han Lee 我有自己的卫生棉了 look out Han Lee I'm about to get my tampon
如果当前经济没有任何煞风景的事物 well well if there isn't anything that's wrong with the current economy
那么穿V领毛衣的就是 then the boys in V-neck sweater
你在干什么? oh what do you think you are doing?
就是把吸管装到容器里啊 oh just putting straws in a container
以防万一 in case uh you know
以防万一 某个女人忽然想要吸管了 身上又没有75美分 just in case a woman might suddenly need a straw and not have 75 cents
这不是吸管 those are not straws
这些不该出现在公共场合 they do not belong in public
你妈没教你这是女性私密物品吗? didn't your mother ever teach you that is secret no-no-private lady thing?
你都不敢说它们的名字 you can't even say the name
拜托 华尔街商人 你敢卖它 come on Wallstreet if you can sell it
就要敢说的出口 you should be able to bring yourself to say it
我永远也不会说的 I will never speak of it
不就说一下吗 卫生棉卫生棉卫生棉 有啥大不了的? just say it tampon tampon tampon what's the big deal?
你可以写首关于它的流行歌曲 and you could creat pop songs about it
她真漂亮 她满腹牢骚 she's so pretty she's so grouching
这放桌上太不雅了 快放下去 that is inappropriate counter display you take it down
你去调回价格 我就放下去 you take down the price and I will
不 这是自由市场 我想怎么收费就怎么收费 我是老板 no it is free market I charge what I want I am the boss
Max有人落下了这张都是优惠券的报纸 Max someone left the stack of newspapers filled with coupons
有张Dunken Heins双重优惠券 and look a double for Dunken Heins
还能更好吗? could this take any better?
4 7 8号桌想要结账 oh and tables 4, 7 and 8 want their checks
好的 我这里也准备好了 ok I'm gonna be ready right here
Max 不 这是很私人的事 Max no that is private
这是你的账单 here is you check
我额外放了一些赞美女性的小东西 I put a little something extra compliment women
不收你们75美分哦 without 3 quaters everywhere
谢谢 thank you very much
我不清楚你的流量 所以给了你一个日用的和一个超多流量的 I don't know about your flows so I gave you a regular and a super
Max你没有羞耻心吗? Max have you no shame?
不 女士们 每个月的那几天 我请你们想想这位先生 no ladies at that time of a month I invite you to think of this man
就是这位先生 Han Lee 站在这里的这位 this man Han Lee right over here
他认为 你们每月那几天的必需品应该更贵点 the man who thinks your month issues should be more expenses
好吧好吧 我把价格调回25美分 ok ok I will lower the price back to a quarter
讨论就此结束 就这样（period 双关"女性生理期"）= = and that is end of discussion Period
为了每一位的卫生棉 tampons for everyone
Max 你就是圣母玛利亚在世 女性健康大使啊 Max you're the Nun Maria Feminine Hygiene
好大的风啊 so windy
优惠券购物说了你该去见你儿子了吗? does a coupon-shopping ever going to see your son again?
真卡羞愧 that's a Ke$hame
在Lifetime电影场景中 这儿就是他们把你这个坏妈妈抓走的地方 and in Lifetime movie version this is where they take you away as unfit mother
这回我可不会哭 and I don't cry
我很抱歉 但是我看到这些蛋糕制作优惠券今天就要过期了 I'm sorry but I just saw that all these cakes-make coupons expire today
我很快的 10分钟就搞定 I'll be real quick ten minutes in and out
男人OOXX的优惠券版 that a coupon version I heard from a guy
开始检查这些报纸 寻找蛋糕调料的优惠券 here start going through these papers and look for the cake mix double coupon
如果我能把它和商店的红利券结合 if I combine this with the in-store bonus
我们不仅能用低价买到蛋糕调料 not only will we get lower coupon mix price
他们还会返还我们23美元 but they will actually give us 23 dollars back
你不再说优惠券是"Qoupon" 我就给你24美元 I'll give you 24 dollars to stop saying Qoupon
快点 开始找出那些蛋糕混合调料的优惠券 这是轻而易举的（breeze有轻而易举和风2种意思） come on start pointing out the ones for the cake mix it'll be a breeze
不 这才是风 no that was a breeze
我的优惠券 my coupons
你关心优惠券远胜于你的发型 the fact that you're worried about your coupons than you hair
足以说明你堕落成什么样了 shows how far you're falling
我的天 难以相信 oh my God I can't believe it
Max 这是那个优惠券女王Williams Max it's the Williams for Coupon Queen
她把她的皇冠落哪儿了?迷你卡车里么? where'd she leave her crown? a mini-van?
太令人激动 我得过去向她致敬 this is so exciting I have to go pay my respects
我们没时间了 快把蛋糕调料扔到车上 oh we don't have the time for this just throw the cake mixes in the cart
不然我们要错过地铁了 or we'll miss the train
淡定 恶作剧一下 我很快就回来 there calm down have a trick I'll be right back
打扰了 女王陛下 -excuse me your Highness
-你是不是就是优惠券女王? -嗯 嗯 -but aren't you the Coupon Queen? - Hmm-hmm
我是Caroline I'm Caroline
Freddy 我现在没法说话 Freddy and I can't talk right now
因为如果我失去了我的地盘 我（你）就会失去我（你）的理智 -because if I lose my place I(you)'ll lose my (your) mind
我知道的 你在你的秀上说过 I know you say that on your show
我不会打扰你的 I won't bother you
但我想你一定会很激动 因为这才是我着迷优惠券的第二天 but I think you'll be excited when I tell you that it's only my second day
而我已经知道该如何从购买蛋糕调料中赚钱 and I already learned how to make money on the purchase of cake mix
-我只要买上40盒 我们就能得到 -商店的红利 - all I have to do is buy 40 boxes and we got the.. - store bonus yeah
蛋糕混合调料 这真是稀有的优惠券啊 cake mix that's a rare coupon
你哪里找到它的? where did you find it?
昨天在传单上 你没看见么? yesterday circulars didn't you see it?
没 I missed it
快去货架那 扫传单上宣传的货 go to the stocking getting the boxes on the circulars
看他走了 look at him go
你在横扫货架 you're sweeping the shelves
在你的秀上 你说过 横扫货架是违规的 Max on your show you said sweeping you shelves was out of line Max
这些都是我的 我先来的 these are mine I was here first
我想她很有可能后面才来的 I think she just probably gonna be here last
所以 我们走吧 我们又不需要这些 so let's go we don't need these
我们需要 我们不买满40盒 它们是不会免费的 we do we don't get 40 boxes they won't be free
我见过真的女王 这可不是皇家行为 I meet actual queens and this isn't royal behavior
Max 她刚刚用身体撞我 Max she just body-checked me
再敢推我一下 我就去美国大使馆举报你 push me again and I will report you to the American Embassy
Max 到这儿来 Max get in here
我们有麻烦了? oh we got a problem?
我们是有麻烦了 oh we got a problem
擦 oh hell no
咱咋办? what do we do?
走开 装无辜 就这么办 you step away and you pretend you didn't do it that's what you do
- 24, 25.. - 你是打算让我等你 不是咩? - 24, 25.. - you're making me wait though aren't ya?
稍等 我数到40就好 just until I get to 40
- 26, 27, 28.. - 拜托 我给你买单成不 - 26, 27, 28.. - come on I'll buy for you
快点 叫那小伙一买 咱赶紧去看Chestnut come on take up the bitch on his offer and let's go see Chestnut
Max 嘘 我计数呢 如果不是整整40盒 Max shhh I'm counting if we don't have the exact right cake mix coupon ratio
我们就拿不到返现了 we won't get our free money
好的 刚到多少了? ok where was I?
业余 immature
阁下 你真专业 我们可不是天天在这里晃悠 real maturer your highnes we have places to go
好了 40盒 结帐吧 Tanya ok 40 take it away, Tanya
等等 这是什么 wait what is this?
这不是Duncan Hines 这是Pillsbury牌的 this isn't Duncan Hines it's Pillsbury
-这玩意打哪儿来的? -我放进去的 -where did this come from? - I put it in
你不能这样 必须都是Duncan Hines牌子的 you con't do that It has to be all Duncan Hines
我需要一盒Pillsbury的 I need a Pillsbury
-你不能买 -我必须要买 -为什么? - well you can't have it - I need it - why?
-我必须要买! -为什么? - I need it! - why?
这是秘密配方 that's the secret ingredients
我会在Duncan Hines里放上一勺Pillsbury I throw spoons of Pillsbury in the Duncan Hines
Pillsbury? 这就是你的特色? Pillsbury? that's what makes it you?
就是这个让蛋糕更美味的 that's what makes it more delicious
Tanya 停下 等等 Tanya stop flag on the play
把这个放回去 换另外一个 here take this back and get me another
知道我要干什么去么? 我要去看Chestnut了 you know what? I'm just gonna see Chestnut a less little time
不Max把这个放回去 换一盒别的 no Max please take this back and get me another one
既然你自己不做 只想着买店内的蛋糕混合调料 you're the one who wanted to use the store-bought mixes instead of making your own from scratch
就给我去拿另一种调料 so go back and get me another mix
我用混合调料是因为我自己不会做 没人教过我 I use the mix 'cuz I don't know how to make my own. no one ever taught me
没人叫我怎么烘培 没人教我怎么用卫生棉 什么都没人教我 no one taught me how to bake no one taught me to use tampons no one taught me anything
你还觉得我该给我妈一份更好的礼物么? you still think I should sign my mom a better gift?
也没人教过你怎么结账 and no one taught you how to check out either
我要走了 I'm going
Max Max
你要去拿另一种蛋糕调料, 不是"咩"? you need to get another mix now, don't ya?
我要去拿了 很快的 I'll go get it won't take a minute
谁才是女王啊? who's the queen now?
嗨 兄弟 hey my dude
看看你穿这身时髦外套的样子啊 look at you in your fancy coat
退休的日子挺享福嘛 retirement looks good on you
我说过回来看你的 带给你些胡萝卜 told you I'd come by to see you hook you up with some carrots
兔八哥的象征哦 因为我知道你很喜欢吃 Bug's bunny status 'cuz I know you like
这边信号不太好 我没收到你的新短信 I uh I don't feel my texts for that not great signal on here but..
你妈要晚点来 your mom might be a little late
她还是会来的 因为我知道她想死你了 she's coming though 'cus I know she's dying to see you
好吧 我在开玩笑 她不会来了 all right who am I kidding she's not coming
我知道听到这个很难过 相信我 妈妈再也不要你 I know that's hard to hear and trust me mothers not showing up...
这种事我经历过 但是 I've been there but
我知道不管她在哪里她都想着你 I know wherever she is she is thinking of you
好吧 我在骗你 ok that's not true either here is the thing
妈妈就是过眼浮云 your mom is a flick
你有2个选择 坐在这里郁郁寡欢 and you got two options you can sit around feeling sorry for yourself
或者你可以说 or you can say
哈 我妈不在 我可以看一天电视啦 hey, my mom's not here I could watch TV all day
然后再去把邻居家的窗踢开 因为我就喜欢这么做 and then go kick the neighbor's window because I feel like it
嗨 嗨 看着我 hey hey look at me
她不来 不是你的错 是她的 the fact she's not here is not your fault it's hers
来的路上我可是帮你拦截了14朵祸水桃花 there I've just saved you like 14 inappropriate sexual encounters
-嗨-嗨 -hi -hey
嗨 Chestnut hi Chestnut
嗨 宝贝 hi baby ooohhh
我想死想死你了 I missed you I missed you so much
你想我吗? did you miss me?
你还是买下了所有的蛋糕调料? so you got all the cake mix?
对 还得到了23美元 yes plus a 23 dollars
我还买下了你的Pillsberry and I got you your Pillsberry as well
付的还是全价 真要我的命了 paid full price it killed me
你真是个优惠券狂人 you're a freak with the coupons
我知道 我都不知道为什么会这样 I know I don't know what came over me
一旦我找到个可以免费的方法 我就忘乎一切了 when I found a way to make free money I forgot about everyone else
我的天 oh my God
就像我的爸爸 like my father
Max 我有庞氏骗局的基因 Max I have Ponzi DNA
对 优惠券庞氏基因 yeah, couponzy DNA
你自己去学做所有事肯定很困难 must've been hard learning to do everything on your own
我当时也不会 但是有二十个专人来教会我 I mean I don't know how to do any of these stuff either but I had a staff of 20
我二十岁时也有人教会了我（OOXX） yeah I got stuff at 20
或许你会认为你的秘密配方是一勺Pillsbury you know you may think your secret ingredients is a spoonful of Pillsbury
但是这不是 你的秘密配方是你自己 but it's not it's you
你所经历的每件事情 成就了今天的你 it's everything you've been through that makes you who you are
你为一盒卫生棉而战 以及 someone who fights for a box of tampons and
为了一匹马的感想而战 fights for horses' feelings
甚至 为了帮朋友在优惠券纷争中 and even fights for a box of cake mix
买到蛋糕调料而战 for a friend in the middle of a little couponzy panic ask her to
在这场Lifetime电影中 现在我们该起身去尿尿了 this is the part in the Lifetime movie version where we get up to pee
我不知道你和谁开玩笑 你看完了整部电影 I don't know who you're kidding you watch the entire movie
然后你嚎啕大哭 and then you cry
听听她说的 Chestnut 她认为她都看透我了 listen to her Chestnut she think she has me all figured it out
她不知道的是 做纸杯蛋糕 我有另一个 what she doesn't know is it comes to the cupcakes I have another
超秘密的配方 secret secret ingredient
别告诉我是加少量的Betty Crocker(调料品牌) hmm don't tell me it's a pinch of Betty Crocker
不能告诉你 这个是秘密配方 I can't tell you it's a secret ingredient
好吧 巧克力加点白粉儿 ok it's chocolate methamphetamine
不 我说真的 就像 no it's true or so it even should be
太棒了 我要去打劫我的老祖母 they are so good you go rob your grandmother
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