1
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,532
Terrific.

2
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:42,959
What's up, numb-nuts?

3
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,377
Read 'em and weep.

4
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:46,129
Van Halen at the Centrum.

5
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,296
Third row!

6
00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,215
You should take Jolene, man.

7
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,050
I heard she got big nipples.

8
00:00:51,135 --> 00:00:52,802
This is Van freakin' Halen, man.

9
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,387
Get serious.

10
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:57,181
Besides, I'm just not into girls anymore.

11
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,851
Dude, I'm into guys, too!

12
00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:01,185
No, no, no, no, no.

13
00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,478
That's not what I meant.

14
00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:05,690
I'm into women.

15
00:01:33,177 --> 00:01:34,218
Hey, Mary.

16
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,430
I got two tickets to Van Halen this weekend.

17
00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:38,681
What time should I pick you up?

18
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,517
It is Miss McGarricle, Donny.

19
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:45,062
And that's cute,
but I am your teacher, not your girlfriend.

20
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:47,607
Whoa, Miss McGarricle,
who said anything about girlfriends?

21
00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:49,275
Let's just start with a summer fling,

22
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:50,485
couple of hand jobs,

23
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:52,320
no expectations.

24
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,363
Don't get all psycho on me right away.

25
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,033
That is a month's detention.

26
00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:01,287
What's a hand job?

27
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,873
I don't know, but I think I want one.

28
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:08,795
Can I go to the bathroom?

29
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:11,756
No. No talking in detention, Mr. Berger.

30
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,716
All right, I'm sorry for what I did.

31
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,259
I promise I won't do it again.

32
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:18,054
You're in a lot of trouble, Donny.

33
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:21,516
Wait, you're not gonna tell my dad, are you?

34
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:23,810
He'll kick my ass. He's crazy.

35
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:26,062
What were you trying to do, anyway?

36
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,355
Impress your friends?

37
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:30,942
Well, you know, you're...

38
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,903
You have a little crush on me?

39
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:35,321
No.

40
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:38,658
"No." So, you...

41
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,576
You don't want me.

42
00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:44,413
No. Yeah.

43
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:47,083
I don't know what
I'm supposed to say right now.

44
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,252
Is that gum in your mouth, Donny?

45
00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:02,265
You know,
I've been watching you all year, Donny.

46
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,517
When you hit that shot to beat Fairfield

47
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:09,230
and you were jumping up and down
in your little Larry Bird short-shorts

48
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:12,859
and sweating like a jar of pickles
in the hot sun...

49
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,694
Oh, God.

50
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:16,404
That was so hot.

51
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:21,492
Is this really happening?

52
00:03:21,577 --> 00:03:23,703
This is happening.

53
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:26,038
It's happening right now.

54
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,582
In my office.

55
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,584
Okay. Awesome.

56
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,878
So, I'm totally in.

57
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,546
How do you want to do it?

58
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:36,716
'Cause I made sex before, lots of ways.

59
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,218
So you want to go straight to hand jobs

60
00:03:39,303 --> 00:03:42,346
or eating me out or taking me from behind?

61
00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:43,723
I'll teach you.

62
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,600
I'm a virgin.

63
00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:51,063
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

64
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:52,899
Oh, my God.

65
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:57,194
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

66
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,262
Who? Me?

67
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,319
Hey, Donny, what'd you get?

68
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,993
And if I'm elected
eighth grade class president,

69
00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:47,119
I promise to...

70
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,372
You're getting so good at this!

71
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:57,964
I promise to do my best to lower prices at
the school stores and...

72
00:04:58,048 --> 00:05:00,800
All of our practice is really paying off!

73
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,469
I like the sound of that.

74
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,392
Timmy, stop. Hold on a second.

75
00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:28,953
My dad's gonna kick my ass.

76
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:45,261
Calm down!

77
00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,609
Donny! Donny! Donny! Donny!

78
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:01,861
Who's the man?

79
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:05,531
Donny! Donny! Donny! Donny!

80
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,867
Yeah! You want some of me? Who's the man?

81
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,041
All right, everybody!

82
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,376
Enough!

83
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,462
I am aware that a lot of people think

84
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:20,921
that this young man

85
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:23,883
is not really a victim,
but someone that's living

86
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:26,844
the ultimate teenage boy's fantasy.

87
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,220
Absolutely.

88
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:32,141
But this is a serious crime.

89
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,852
Mary Beth McGarricle, rise for sentencing.

90
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,691
The fact that this relationship

91
00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:44,236
has resulted in a pregnancy
and you show absolutely no remorse,

92
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,739
saying, and I quote,

93
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:50,743
"I would fuck that kid again and again.

94
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:56,165
"He makes me feel like there's a rainbow
coming out of my beaver."

95
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,418
...leaves me absolutely no choice

96
00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:01,837
but to levy the maximum penalty.

97
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:06,383
Thirty years
in the Massachusetts Women's Penitentiary.

98
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:11,097
And furthermore, the court grants custody
of the unborn child

99
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,640
to Donald Berger's father...

100
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,266
Dumb-ass.

101
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:16,435
...until Donald turns 1 8,

102
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,480
at which time he will assume full custody.

103
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:22,024
Take care of our baby, Donny!

104
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,275
Miss McGarricle!

105
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,319
I'll never stop loving you!

106
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,822
That is just fucking mental.

107
00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:01,313
The kid is young, he's attractive,

108
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:04,400
he can probably keep a hard-on
longer than this fucking guy.

109
00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:16,996
Made you flinch, pansy.

110
00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:18,747
Go ahead! I don't need you!

111
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,749
l'm Donny freakin' Berger!

112
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,961
l'm wicked famous
and l got a wicked big schlong!

113
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:27,131
Hey, here's something.
Donny Berger's back in the news.

114
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:28,340
That kid who got his teacher pregnant?

115
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:29,675
-Exactly.
-l love that guy.

116
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,510
Seems Iike he bought a round Iast night.

117
00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:32,553
Okay.

118
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,180
For everybody in Boston Garden.

119
00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:36,348
Oh, my God, he's my hero.

120
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:40,561
That kid is burning through that money,
but he's having a good time doing it.

121
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,830
So, guy, how'd we do?

122
00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:02,041
What them fuckers at the IRS say?

123
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,459
Well, they said a lot of stuff.

124
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,919
The thing that really jumped out

125
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:08,380
-was "three years in prison."
-Three years?

126
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,841
Yeah, you haven't paid taxes
since '94, Donny.

127
00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:13,761
What... I thought they were
taking it out automatically!

128
00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:15,429
I told them that's what you thought,

129
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,431
and they said
it's the stupidest thing they ever heard.

130
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:19,058
But there is some good news.

131
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:21,685
If you can pay
the balance off by the end of the weekend,

132
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:22,978
they'll suspend the sentence.

133
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,563
Oh, okay, there you go.

134
00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:26,023
What are we talking about? Hit me.

135
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,274
Forty-three thousand.

136
00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:28,567
Forty-three grand?

137
00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:29,818
No!

138
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,905
Come on, Donny!

139
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,615
Don't screw up my Tom Brady poster.

140
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:36,116
It's my favorite one.

141
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,826
Look at that jaw line.

142
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,412
Just the right amount of scruff.

143
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:42,665
I'm sorry! I'm just freaking out here!

144
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,333
I don't got 43 grand!

145
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,168
Well, look, hey, good news.

146
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,836
Monday's Memorial Day,

147
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,755
so you don't need
to get the money till Tuesday.

148
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:53,175
All right. That'll give me time to
sell my diamond Lamborghini!

149
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,970
Hey, hey, hey! You're killing me, man!

150
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,013
Don't mess with the genius.

151
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,933
Jimmy, I got $28 to my name.

152
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,434
Twenty-eight, huh? Okay.

153
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:05,187
I got a hot tip on a long shot
that just might come in.

154
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,689
-What is it, a horse?
-No.

155
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:10,776
This is Tubby Tuke, fat guy.

156
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,278
Fat guy?

157
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:15,864
Gonna run the marathon.
Odds on him winning are 8,000-to-1 .

158
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,950
But this cat's got wheels on him.

159
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,952
I think he's gonna win, I really do.

160
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:23,497
All right, I'll put 20 on the fat fuck,
but I can't count on that.

161
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:25,624
It's a long shot, you said it yourself.

162
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:26,875
But what about your kid?

163
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,252
Maybe he can come up with the dough.

164
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:29,962
We don't talk no more.

165
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,006
He kind of moved out when he turned 1 8,

166
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:34,008
and that's the last I seen of him.

167
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,884
-What happened?
-I don't know.

168
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:40,389
I loved that little Han Solo
more than anything in the world, too.

169
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:44,143
-You named your kid Han Solo?
-Yes, sir.

170
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:45,644
Han Solo Berger?

171
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,187
Coolest name in the world, right?

172
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:48,731
Why don't you just Facebook him?

173
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,317
I can't afford that shit.
What am I, a billionaire?

174
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,486
I don't think he wants to be found, anyways.

175
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,572
Especially by me.

176
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,587
Hey, look! It's us!

177
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,839
-On the cover!
-Don't we look great?

178
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,174
Yeah, well, you look good.

179
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:16,759
I kind of look like a ventriloquist.

180
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:20,679
I don't know, it's still kind of weird, right?

181
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,681
I mean, it's got our faces and our names.

182
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,600
It just seems like anyone could find us.

183
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:28,187
"Find us"?
Honey, did you take your Xanax today?

184
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:29,355
Yeah, two.

185
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:31,815
I always double down
when your parents are in town.

186
00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:34,068
Do you have your security undies?

187
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:35,527
-Yep, right here.
-Good.

188
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:37,029
I know that makes you feel better.

189
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,073
There's stranger things than walking around

190
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:41,575
with an extra pair of underwear
for emergencies.

191
00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:45,579
Look, just this once, don't be so weird.

192
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,456
We're gonna have the best wedding ever.

193
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:48,624
Okay.

194
00:11:56,966 --> 00:12:00,844
Holy shit. What the hell happened
to my Iife, ChampaIe?

195
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:04,306
Don, honey, no way to come up
with that money, huh?

196
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:07,184
No. The only thing
I'm good at is being Donny Berger,

197
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,936
and no one wants to pay for that anymore.

198
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:10,646
Aw, Donny.

199
00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:12,564
Wow!

200
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,400
My face is your toilet!

201
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:17,069
Show some fucking respect
over there, Kenny.

202
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,487
Hey, whoa.

203
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:22,074
Hey, Mom, did you want
some breakfast after you finish your dance?

204
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,492
Give it to me now, honey.

205
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,661
Donny doesn't mind, do you, Donny?

206
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,038
Holy cow, that's my son!

207
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:29,415
Who, Han Solo?

208
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,708
I thought you said he was a fatty.

209
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:34,169
No, no, no.
He must have lost the weight or something,

210
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,130
'cause I swear to God, that's my boy.

211
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,924
It says, "Todd Peterson to
wed Jamie Martin this Sunday

212
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,009
"at All Saints Church on Cape Cod."

213
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,761
Todd Peterson?

214
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,096
He changed his name!

215
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,222
Why?

216
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,767
What was wrong with Han Solo Berger?

217
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:50,936
It's the coolest fucking name of all time.

218
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:52,396
"Peterson is one of the youngest

219
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,107
"large-cap hedge fund managers
in the financial industry."

220
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,067
He got rich on us, huh?

221
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,282
"All the more impressive
considering he was orphaned

222
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:06,869
"at age nine, when both his parents died
in a horrific explosion."

223
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:09,997
He fucking blew me up and his mother?

224
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:12,291
Donny, maybe your son could
help you, financially.

225
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:14,835
I don't know. This kid changed his name.

226
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,962
He doesn't even want
to be a Berger anymore.

227
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,589
He's not gonna want to talk to me.

228
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,842
That was the incomparabIe ChampaIe.

229
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:25,304
And now, looking hot
and ignoring doctor's orders,

230
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:27,139
let's welcome Amber.

231
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,516
What the fuck happened to her?

232
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,518
Fuck you, Kenny!

233
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,562
Hey, what's up, RoboCop?

234
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,525
This is where your boss lives?

235
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:40,819
It's actually just his summer home.

236
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:43,572
-Summer home. What a dick.
-Dad!

237
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,616
Oh, my goodness.

238
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:48,911
Todd, it's just breathtaking!

239
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,913
Hey! There he is.

240
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,289
Hey, Mr. Spirou.

241
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:54,333
There's my golden boy.

242
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:55,709
Come over here, champ.

243
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,336
Come on, get over here.

244
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:58,545
Hi. Yeah.

245
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:00,172
Look at you.

246
00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:03,425
Look at you, the lovely bride.

247
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:05,427
What a couple!

248
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:08,138
Mr. Spirou, it's so amazing
that you're letting us all stay here.

249
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,389
Seriously, thank you so much.

250
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,350
Steve, these are
my parents, Gerald and Helen.

251
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:12,768
-It's a pleasure.
-Hi.

252
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,102
Your daughter's a sweetheart.

253
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:16,688
You can tell she likes Todd for Todd,

254
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:18,857
not because he's gonna be rich.

255
00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:21,026
I wouldn't want
my boy to end up with some gold digger

256
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,986
like the last three whores I married, huh?

257
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:28,158
True story. All three? Whores.

258
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:33,121
Well, guys, this weekend, mi casa es su casa.

259
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,457
You know, every member
of my staff are lucky to be in this country,

260
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:38,335
so feel free to abuse the shit out of 'em.

261
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,296
Go get the fucking bags!

262
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,717
Well, Mrs. Spirou,
I've always said that if the finance game

263
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,053
was an amusement park,
your son would be a roller coaster,

264
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:51,765
and I would just ride him all day long.

265
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:53,892
That came out weird.

266
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,477
Yeah, well, Stevie likes to think

267
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,729
that he's the star of the family.

268
00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:01,441
But before he was born,
I modeled a bathing suit

269
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:04,152
for a Woolworth advertisement.

270
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:07,823
Well, you still have
quite a figure on you there, Delores.

271
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,492
Yeah, I can see
where Steve got his rocking bod.

272
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:13,662
Why, thank you.

273
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,081
Chad's here!

274
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:17,416
-Oh, my God.
-Hooray.

275
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,542
Fantastic.

276
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:21,253
I guess they didn't want to see it.

277
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,463
Yay, Chad!

278
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,257
-Come here.
-Mom.

279
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:26,800
-Sweetheart.
-I'm home.

280
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,260
Dad, how are you, sir?

281
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:29,803
-You look great.
-Thank you, sir.

282
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,013
Hey, Chad, I'm Todd.

283
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,472
Oh, my God.

284
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:34,725
Oh, God, I missed you, sis.

285
00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:36,184
That's a good hug.

286
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:39,521
Chad, this is my fiancé, Todd.

287
00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:41,773
Pleasure to meet you, Chadwick.

288
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,025
Are you a soldier?

289
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:44,693
No.

290
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,445
-Sailor?
-No.

291
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:48,530
-Airman?
-No.

292
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:49,698
Girl Scout?

293
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,283
No.

294
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:54,953
Well, then I'd prefer if you take
your fingers away from your forehead

295
00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:57,789
and you shake my hand
like the civilian you are.

296
00:15:57,874 --> 00:16:01,001
Yeah, sorry, I'm stupid.
I don't know why I did that.

297
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:03,170
Honest mistake. Come here,
I want to show you this.

298
00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:06,381
Look, if you ever do anything

299
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:10,636
to hurt my sister, I will take
my government-issued service revolver,

300
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:14,056
stick it straight up your fuppin' poop chute,
and empty the clip.

301
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,349
Do you feel me?

302
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:19,061
Yes, I totally feel you... Dawg.

303
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:22,314
Randy Jackson, right?

304
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:25,317
I've got 1 0 ways
to kill you with my bare hands right now.

305
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:29,112
Don't.

306
00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:35,869
Hi, sweetheart, how are you?

307
00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:37,996
Can I see Randall Morgan possibly?

308
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:39,665
Yeah, you're gonna need an appointment.

309
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,333
I knew you were gonna say that.

310
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,127
But you know what?
Tell him Donny Berger's out here.

311
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:46,004
He'll be pretty psyched to see an old friend.

312
00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:48,840
You know what? Mr. Morgan's
on vacation right now. I'm sorry.

313
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:50,676
-He's on vacation? That son of a...
-Oh, hey!

314
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:51,885
Vanilla Ice.

315
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:54,763
Randall's just getting makeup.
Go ahead to the green room.

316
00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:59,184
Vanilla, what's up, guy?

317
00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:01,937
It's been a long time. How you been?

318
00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:06,441
Are you seriously giving me
the silent treatment still?

319
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,734
You know that hurts me.

320
00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:09,152
Yeah? Well, that's why I'm giving it to you.

321
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:10,278
How's it feel, chump?

322
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:11,905
It's breaking my heart.

323
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:14,199
We were friends for 20 years, guy.

324
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,034
We were friends until you banged my mother!

325
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,078
I didn't know it was her, I swear to God!

326
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,080
It's not like her last name is Ice.

327
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,582
You should've known by the haircut!

328
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,376
Aw, come on, Vanilla Bean Latte.

329
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:25,794
-Will you just...
-What?

330
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,629
I'm just saying, I'm in big trouble, guy.

331
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,715
This, like, monetary thing.

332
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:33,635
I'm going to prison
if I don't get 43 large, so...

333
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:34,928
What, do you think I got that kind of money?

334
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,430
Of course you got that kind of money.

335
00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:39,099
Royalties from Ice Ice Baby,
you must be fucking loaded!

336
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,560
Man, listen, Queen took 50% .

337
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,270
Suge took the other 60%.

338
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:45,105
I fucking owe money when
that shit gets played, man!

339
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:48,316
Dude, come on,
will you please stop, collaborate and listen?

340
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,068
-Oh, here...
-What? No, I love that song.

341
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,236
You know that shit.

342
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,821
I was on top of that, fucking day one.

343
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:55,407
Listen, man. I work at a ice rink now.

344
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,325
I deep-fry chicken nuggets, man.

345
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,286
I'll get you a deal on
a barbecue sauce packet.

346
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:00,620
Fucking A, buddy.

347
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:03,415
Both of us. This sucks.

348
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,500
Broke. Who'd have thought
this would happen to us?

349
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,921
Maybe I should call your mother.
She'll give me the money, I know that.

350
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:12,174
-What?
-What? What? What?

351
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:15,969
Hey, dude.

352
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:18,263
Didn't spill my beer, fucker.

353
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:19,473
Fuck you.

354
00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:21,141
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

355
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:24,144
Nobody comes in here
and starts busting up my joint

356
00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:26,313
unless I got cameras rolling.

357
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,857
Look, Donny,
nobody remembers what Tiger Woods did,

358
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,777
let alone something
that happened 25 years ago.

359
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,445
I'm telling you, when I walk down the street,

360
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:34,946
people are like, "There's that guy!"

361
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:36,573
I'm still fucking big, dude.

362
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:40,452
All right, how about this?
I'm doing a show on '80s train wrecks.

363
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,871
Maybe I slip you in
after that Milli Vanilli guy, all right?

364
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,373
-Who, Fab? He's a fucking buddy of mine.
-Yeah.

365
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,292
That would be huge, dude.
How much money?

366
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,587
Maybe 400 bucks.

367
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:51,963
Four hundred bucks?

368
00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:55,467
Dude, I need 43 G-birds.
What are we talking about right now?

369
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,636
You need $43,000?

370
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,137
Are you back on drugs?

371
00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:00,430
-Yeah.
-It's never...

372
00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:02,224
This is never going to happen. Never.

373
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:03,725
Little bit more blush if you can.

374
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:06,895
Just like you did that John Wayne Bobbitt
in his penis reunion show.

375
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,985
That's actually a good idea, a reunion.

376
00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:19,074
Me and Miss McGarricle, together again,
live from a women's prison.

377
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,454
A women's prison.

378
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:27,499
Very sexy.

379
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:30,752
We could shoot it this weekend.
You could give me the money.

380
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,671
Very sexy.

381
00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:35,090
You know, you could eat that ass
after I leave the room,

382
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,050
but I need an answer right now.
What do you think?

383
00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:38,301
What about your kid?

384
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:41,054
My kid? What about my kid?

385
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:43,139
He's got to be a walking Gong Show.

386
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:45,392
No. What are you talking about?
He's doing great.

387
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:47,185
He's, like, a hot shit now.
He's getting married

388
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,187
-down at the Cape this weekend.
-Wait, wait, wait, wait.

389
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,773
"Horny teacher baby makes good."

390
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,944
Smell that? Smell it, Donny?

391
00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:58,572
What? That's not me.
She probably cut the cheese.

392
00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:00,448
No, no, no. No, ratings.

393
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:02,158
I smell ratings.

394
00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:06,454
My kid is very publicity-shy, so I...
You know, to be honest,

395
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,123
I don't think he'd do
a piece of shit show like this.

396
00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:09,624
All right, here's the deal.

397
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,376
You get yourself and your actual kid

398
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:14,170
up to the women's
prison this weekend, I will shoot it,

399
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,131
I will give you 50 grand in cash.

400
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:19,175
'Cause I'm going to guess, Donny,
you want to be visiting a prison,

401
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:20,927
not living in one.

402
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,225
So, Todd, how does one get into
the hedgehog business anyway?

403
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,352
Oh, it's actually hedge funds.

404
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:31,104
You think you're better than me?

405
00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:32,898
No.

406
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:36,401
Chad, did you know
that Todd is really great with numbers?

407
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:37,819
-You got to see this.
-Jamie, no. Don't make...

408
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:39,654
What's 452 times 77?

409
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,116
84,304.

410
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,535
Oh, he could just be making that up.

411
00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:46,703
No, he's not!

412
00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:50,498
There's a calculator on my cell phone.

413
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:51,583
Okay.

414
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:55,253
What is 94

415
00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:58,590
times 31 2, Todd?

416
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:03,053
29,328, Helen.

417
00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:04,846
Freaky.

418
00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:07,349
I don't know. It's just something I can do.

419
00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:09,392
Are you sure you're not a Chinaman?

420
00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:11,019
Oh, that's inappropriate.

421
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,228
White whore.

422
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,524
I'll get it.

423
00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:23,031
Oh, my God. You must be Jamie.

424
00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:25,992
You're, like, even hotter
than you looked in the paper.

425
00:21:26,744 --> 00:21:29,454
Look at your hair,
blowing in the wind like Tawny Kitaen

426
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:31,539
when she was fucking dry-humping that car.

427
00:21:32,166 --> 00:21:33,249
Okay.

428
00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:35,502
And you must be...

429
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:37,045
Donny.

430
00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:40,674
What's the matter?
Chubby never even mentioned me?

431
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:41,800
Chubby?

432
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:44,219
Oh, I mean Todd Peterson.

433
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:46,179
Why do you say it like that?

434
00:21:46,389 --> 00:21:48,056
It just comes out that way.

435
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,432
Where are my manners, right?

436
00:21:49,517 --> 00:21:51,476
Could you hold that?
Take a chug if you'd like.

437
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,812
I got you a fucking great gift.

438
00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:56,398
Here it is.

439
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:57,983
I'll take the brew back.

440
00:21:58,067 --> 00:21:59,734
Just, you got to read it, though. It's fucking...

441
00:22:03,114 --> 00:22:04,114
Yeah!

442
00:22:05,366 --> 00:22:06,992
I don't know where they
come up with this shit,

443
00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:08,660
but it's pretty fucking funny.

444
00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:10,495
Spencer's Gifts never fucking fails me.

445
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:12,163
I want to meet Mr. Spencer one day and say,

446
00:22:12,248 --> 00:22:13,873
"Thanks, motherfucker, for all the laughs."

447
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:16,501
Hey, I also made you a mix tape.

448
00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:18,336
Who the fuck is rich in this house?

449
00:22:18,421 --> 00:22:19,462
Jeezum, it's huge.

450
00:22:20,423 --> 00:22:23,299
Todd, your old man is here?

451
00:22:24,427 --> 00:22:25,593
Wassup!

452
00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:29,681
Helen, oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry.

453
00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:30,765
No, it's...

454
00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:31,850
Let me just get that for you.

455
00:22:31,934 --> 00:22:33,018
-That's...
-What? No.

456
00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:34,519
Oh, sorry, those are yours. I...

457
00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:37,856
Donny, what... What the fuck, man? Sorry.

458
00:22:38,149 --> 00:22:39,941
What are you doing here?

459
00:22:40,317 --> 00:22:41,443
What do you mean?

460
00:22:41,527 --> 00:22:42,777
I thought you said your parents were dead.

461
00:22:43,154 --> 00:22:45,739
No, they are. Super dead.

462
00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:47,365
He's hilarious.

463
00:22:48,451 --> 00:22:49,659
My old man.

464
00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:52,037
My old man friend.

465
00:22:52,997 --> 00:22:54,205
From...

466
00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:56,291
Wassup!

467
00:22:56,459 --> 00:22:57,459
Right?

468
00:22:58,753 --> 00:23:00,170
Well, aren't you going to introduce us?

469
00:23:00,463 --> 00:23:01,546
-No.
-Yes.

470
00:23:01,672 --> 00:23:03,006
Yes. Here we go.

471
00:23:03,424 --> 00:23:06,301
This is my future father-in-law, Gerald,

472
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:08,595
and his lovely wife, Helen.

473
00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:10,680
And Jamie's brother, Chad.

474
00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:12,891
-Hey-o!
-Don't. That's...

475
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:19,272
What?

476
00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:20,398
I like the look of this. Who's this?

477
00:23:20,483 --> 00:23:24,277
Okay. This is my boss Steve's mother,
Delores, who's awake now.

478
00:23:24,361 --> 00:23:27,113
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's where you
get all the looks from, huh, sweetie?

479
00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:28,615
Yeah, no, we're not related.

480
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:31,910
Oh, yeah? Well, she wishes,
'cause you got the fucking...

481
00:23:31,994 --> 00:23:33,953
You're stacked pretty good.

482
00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:39,042
Anyhow, Jame, this is my old friend, Donny.

483
00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:40,668
Your best friend.

484
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:42,212
I'm his best friend.

485
00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:44,464
Your best friend.

486
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:46,966
Yeah, no.

487
00:23:47,051 --> 00:23:49,010
Remember I told you we met...

488
00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:50,553
Where'd we meet?

489
00:23:50,638 --> 00:23:52,305
-We met...
-Where?

490
00:23:53,099 --> 00:23:54,349
-Come on.
-It's coming to me.

491
00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:55,642
I saved his life.

492
00:23:56,977 --> 00:23:58,311
Well, more metaphorically.

493
00:23:58,521 --> 00:24:00,355
No, no, no, no, no. Here's what happened.

494
00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:02,857
It was, like,
one of them train track kind of deals.

495
00:24:03,109 --> 00:24:04,651
My man over here, I see him,

496
00:24:04,735 --> 00:24:06,694
he drops his burrito on the tracks.

497
00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:08,530
I'm like, "All right, that happens."

498
00:24:08,989 --> 00:24:11,366
Next thing you know,
homeboy leaps down there,

499
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:13,368
and he tries to retrieve the burrito.

500
00:24:13,828 --> 00:24:16,204
Okay? I see a train whizzing at him.

501
00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:18,790
I'm like, "This guy's about to die,
and he don't know it."

502
00:24:18,874 --> 00:24:21,251
I fucking leap down there myself, right,

503
00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:23,044
and I give him a little shove on the heinie.

504
00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:24,671
"Get out of the way, buddy!"

505
00:24:24,755 --> 00:24:26,047
Next thing you know, I realize

506
00:24:26,215 --> 00:24:27,841
this thing's going to hit me.

507
00:24:27,925 --> 00:24:29,509
I fucking remember, though,

508
00:24:29,593 --> 00:24:30,802
I had a kung fu instructor

509
00:24:30,886 --> 00:24:33,138
who taught me
how to tighten the diaphragm,

510
00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:35,014
and I bring it in there.

511
00:24:35,099 --> 00:24:36,349
And I feel the train go by.

512
00:24:36,433 --> 00:24:37,475
My eyes are closed.

513
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:40,311
Rips my shirt off my body, okay?
I open my eyes.

514
00:24:40,396 --> 00:24:43,356
I see all these chicks just kind of looking
at me, going, "What is that?

515
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:44,941
"That's the fucking
most chiseled guy I've ever seen."

516
00:24:45,025 --> 00:24:46,776
I worked out at the time.

517
00:24:46,861 --> 00:24:49,362
Anyways, the place goes bananas for me,
I sign a couple of titties,

518
00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:51,156
and I started hanging out
with this guy ever since.

519
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,782
Best friends, right? Here you go, my boy.

520
00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:56,452
I just can't believe
I've never heard that story before.

521
00:24:56,912 --> 00:24:59,038
Why wouldn't you just
get another burrito, Todd?

522
00:25:00,416 --> 00:25:02,125
Wouldn't it be dirty?

523
00:25:02,668 --> 00:25:04,127
Great questions.

524
00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:08,006
It's one of the many things about this story
that's pretty hard to believe.

525
00:25:08,382 --> 00:25:09,757
So, where are you staying, Donny?

526
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:11,176
He's not staying.

527
00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:12,260
No.

528
00:25:14,930 --> 00:25:16,764
I can't stay. Yeah, no, he's right.

529
00:25:16,932 --> 00:25:20,059
Oh, pshaw. I mean, invite him to stay here.

530
00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:21,561
You have to stay.

531
00:25:21,645 --> 00:25:23,897
He's your best friend. You're his best friend.

532
00:25:23,981 --> 00:25:25,398
Sheesh, I'm not messing with her.

533
00:25:25,482 --> 00:25:27,942
I mean, you are my best friend, guy.

534
00:25:28,027 --> 00:25:30,486
And, Jamie, you can be my breast friend.

535
00:25:33,782 --> 00:25:36,117
Breast, with an "R." With an "R."

536
00:25:38,996 --> 00:25:41,623
By the way, dude, you look fantastic.

537
00:25:41,916 --> 00:25:43,416
You lost all the weight, homeboy.

538
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:44,709
I miss the titties.

539
00:25:44,793 --> 00:25:47,045
You saved my life? Seriously?

540
00:25:47,129 --> 00:25:49,005
What? They ate that up.

541
00:25:50,090 --> 00:25:51,758
You came up with a whole lot of nothing.

542
00:25:52,468 --> 00:25:53,718
That's a nice suitcase, by the way.

543
00:25:53,802 --> 00:25:54,844
What is that, Louis Vuitton?

544
00:25:55,471 --> 00:25:56,804
This is a Hefty bag.

545
00:25:57,223 --> 00:25:58,640
What the fuck are you talking about?

546
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:00,558
What do you want, Donny? Money?

547
00:26:00,643 --> 00:26:03,228
You heard I was doing well,
so you came looking for a handout?

548
00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:05,647
I don't want none of your money.
How is that? Okay?

549
00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:07,148
I get it. You don't like me.

550
00:26:07,233 --> 00:26:08,650
I exploded.

551
00:26:08,817 --> 00:26:09,817
I wish you had exploded.

552
00:26:09,902 --> 00:26:12,070
That way, I wouldn't have to
see your stupid face anymore!

553
00:26:12,154 --> 00:26:13,154
Did you happen to notice

554
00:26:13,239 --> 00:26:16,241
I created a whole fake life
just so I could get away from you?

555
00:26:16,659 --> 00:26:17,992
Your mother's sick, by the way.

556
00:26:19,620 --> 00:26:20,662
I don't believe you.

557
00:26:22,164 --> 00:26:23,998
They don't know how long she's got.

558
00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:25,375
What is that, nunchucks?

559
00:26:25,793 --> 00:26:28,878
I told her you would
visit her up at the prison.

560
00:26:31,006 --> 00:26:35,301
I'm kind of thinking you're the kind of guy
who would pull through for Mumsie.

561
00:26:35,386 --> 00:26:37,095
Know what I'm saying?

562
00:26:37,179 --> 00:26:39,180
She'd do the same for you.

563
00:26:39,848 --> 00:26:40,848
Really?

564
00:26:41,183 --> 00:26:44,644
Yeah. Saturday's the last visiting day
before the big surgery, so...

565
00:26:44,979 --> 00:26:46,062
So let me get this straight.

566
00:26:46,146 --> 00:26:48,273
You want me to go visit my "sick mom"

567
00:26:48,357 --> 00:26:50,483
that I haven't talked to in years, in prison,

568
00:26:50,567 --> 00:26:52,026
the day before my wedding.

569
00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:53,361
Correct.

570
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:54,779
Not happening, asshole.

571
00:26:54,863 --> 00:26:56,948
What the fuck did I do to you

572
00:26:57,032 --> 00:26:58,157
to make you hate me so much?

573
00:26:58,242 --> 00:26:59,742
I am fucking baffled right now.

574
00:26:59,827 --> 00:27:02,704
Well, maybe you don't remember,
but you were basically the worst parent ever.

575
00:27:02,788 --> 00:27:04,914
Me? I did everything for you, buddy,

576
00:27:04,999 --> 00:27:07,500
and I never gave you
an ounce of shit about nothing.

577
00:27:07,751 --> 00:27:09,210
You never gave me nothing.

578
00:27:09,295 --> 00:27:10,503
I gave you a snake.

579
00:27:10,587 --> 00:27:13,214
Yeah, and then it died
after it ate all your Quaaludes.

580
00:27:13,507 --> 00:27:17,552
That was the only time
anybody's ever seen a king cobra laugh.

581
00:27:18,387 --> 00:27:20,388
And I take pride in that, so fuck you.

582
00:27:20,973 --> 00:27:22,181
Yeah, great. You know what?

583
00:27:22,266 --> 00:27:24,309
I basically had to raise myself, Donny.

584
00:27:24,393 --> 00:27:25,768
I never learned how to swim.

585
00:27:25,853 --> 00:27:27,312
I don't even know how to ride a bike.

586
00:27:27,396 --> 00:27:28,896
You know how fucking humiliating that is?

587
00:27:29,106 --> 00:27:30,982
What about Mr. Mitty? Remember him?

588
00:27:31,775 --> 00:27:33,318
What? No. What's that?

589
00:27:33,402 --> 00:27:35,361
Mr. Mitty. I used to put
an oven mitt on my hand.

590
00:27:35,446 --> 00:27:37,905
He would cheer you up
all the time when you were sad.

591
00:27:37,990 --> 00:27:39,615
"Don't be upset, young man.

592
00:27:39,700 --> 00:27:41,492
"I'm your best friend.

593
00:27:41,577 --> 00:27:43,244
"Even though I'm an oven mitt."

594
00:27:43,746 --> 00:27:45,163
No, I don't remember that, okay?

595
00:27:45,247 --> 00:27:46,247
You know what I do remember?

596
00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:48,541
You making me
drive you home from the beach

597
00:27:48,625 --> 00:27:49,709
'cause you got too drunk.

598
00:27:50,210 --> 00:27:51,252
It makes sense to me.

599
00:27:51,337 --> 00:27:53,629
When somebody's hammered,
they have another guy drive home.

600
00:27:54,006 --> 00:27:55,006
I was eight!

601
00:27:55,507 --> 00:27:58,176
Well, you looked 14
'cause you were such a huge fat fuck.

602
00:27:58,260 --> 00:27:59,260
I'm sorry.

603
00:27:59,428 --> 00:28:00,887
You are such an asshole.

604
00:28:01,013 --> 00:28:03,264
Dude, you're a millionaire now,

605
00:28:03,349 --> 00:28:05,391
and you're marrying that hot chick.

606
00:28:05,768 --> 00:28:08,853
I must have done
a pretty decent job as a dad, don't you think?

607
00:28:09,146 --> 00:28:11,689
Oh, yeah? You want to check in
on your pretty decent job?

608
00:28:12,024 --> 00:28:13,149
Oh, my God.

609
00:28:13,734 --> 00:28:15,985
You're a junkie? Who's your supplier?

610
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:17,904
'Cause I'll smack that motherfucker around.

611
00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:19,655
It's insulin, you dick.

612
00:28:19,740 --> 00:28:23,284
I'm a diabetic 'cause you let me eat
cake and lollipops for breakfast every day.

613
00:28:23,786 --> 00:28:24,994
But that's what you fucking asked for.

614
00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:26,829
Yeah, you're supposed to say no.

615
00:28:26,997 --> 00:28:30,083
You know, I weighed 400 pounds
by the time I was 1 2.

616
00:28:30,167 --> 00:28:31,959
You know how hard it was
to take that weight off?

617
00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:33,503
All right, all right.

618
00:28:34,380 --> 00:28:36,923
I didn't know what I was doing.
I had no one helping me.

619
00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:39,592
Grandpa was a psycho. You know that.

620
00:28:40,177 --> 00:28:41,969
Han Solo, don't be like this.

621
00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:43,221
I'm a good person.

622
00:28:43,305 --> 00:28:44,764
Okay, don't call me that, all right?

623
00:28:44,848 --> 00:28:45,973
My name's Todd now.

624
00:28:46,058 --> 00:28:48,559
Call yourself Han Solo.
You're dressed like him.

625
00:28:49,853 --> 00:28:51,104
Good one.

626
00:28:51,188 --> 00:28:53,940
I'm just saying, buddy, give me a chance.

627
00:28:54,024 --> 00:28:55,483
Do you have any Axe body spray?

628
00:28:56,610 --> 00:29:00,154
No, Donny, I don't have any Axe body spray.

629
00:29:00,781 --> 00:29:03,366
Because I'm not a fucking douche bag.

630
00:29:05,035 --> 00:29:06,119
That's a douche bag thing?

631
00:29:06,203 --> 00:29:07,954
When did that become a douche bag thing?

632
00:29:08,038 --> 00:29:10,164
Todd, the guests are arriving. Let's go!

633
00:29:10,833 --> 00:29:12,417
All right, can you lighten up a little bit?

634
00:29:12,501 --> 00:29:13,709
We got a party to attend.

635
00:29:13,794 --> 00:29:14,794
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

636
00:29:15,254 --> 00:29:17,630
Good person, how about
you put on a tie, okay?

637
00:29:17,714 --> 00:29:19,799
It's a cocktail party, not a Quiznos opening.

638
00:29:20,259 --> 00:29:24,053
What? I haven't worn a tie
since my mother's funeral when I was three.

639
00:29:24,138 --> 00:29:25,388
I'm not going to start that up again.

640
00:29:25,639 --> 00:29:26,848
That's great. Put on a tie.

641
00:29:27,182 --> 00:29:29,350
-No.
-Put on a tie!

642
00:29:29,518 --> 00:29:30,852
I'll never sell out.

643
00:29:32,271 --> 00:29:33,521
I'll give you 1 00 bucks.

644
00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:34,856
Where's the tie?

645
00:29:35,315 --> 00:29:37,066
Look at this.

646
00:29:37,151 --> 00:29:39,652
Jamie is going to have it all.

647
00:29:42,114 --> 00:29:43,197
By the way, Mr. Spirou,

648
00:29:43,282 --> 00:29:45,324
I read the OPEC report, and I was thinking,

649
00:29:45,409 --> 00:29:47,326
if we hedge our position on oil,
we could really...

650
00:29:51,582 --> 00:29:53,916
If we were to short the euro, we could...

651
00:29:54,126 --> 00:29:56,502
Come on, Todd.
This is your wedding weekend.

652
00:29:56,712 --> 00:29:58,880
You are marrying a real workaholic.
You do know that.

653
00:29:59,131 --> 00:30:01,674
Yeah, but isn't that
what you want in a partner?

654
00:30:02,342 --> 00:30:03,843
She's good, this one.

655
00:30:03,927 --> 00:30:05,219
She's good.

656
00:30:07,514 --> 00:30:09,098
All right, all right.

657
00:30:09,183 --> 00:30:10,433
I haven't made that decision yet,

658
00:30:10,851 --> 00:30:11,976
but I love this kid.

659
00:30:12,311 --> 00:30:14,520
You lost your dad in that explosion,

660
00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:15,980
and I lost my son.

661
00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:18,399
I thought your son
was a ski instructor in Vail.

662
00:30:18,525 --> 00:30:20,985
He's a pot-smoking bum!

663
00:30:21,278 --> 00:30:23,154
Not like you, Todd. Oh, no.

664
00:30:23,238 --> 00:30:25,072
You're the type of boy
a father can be proud of.

665
00:30:25,449 --> 00:30:26,574
Yeah, we'll never know, will we?

666
00:30:28,410 --> 00:30:30,328
-Who's that?
-I'm not here.

667
00:30:30,871 --> 00:30:33,748
That's Donny.

668
00:30:34,708 --> 00:30:37,210
Donny, come on. Say hi to everyone.

669
00:30:38,128 --> 00:30:39,670
Oh, God, hang on.

670
00:30:39,755 --> 00:30:41,255
Let me swing these free.

671
00:30:42,758 --> 00:30:44,258
Glad all the children saw that.

672
00:30:44,426 --> 00:30:45,760
Donny,

673
00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:47,261
this is Steve Spirou, Todd's boss.

674
00:30:49,806 --> 00:30:52,099
Wassup!

675
00:30:54,436 --> 00:30:55,603
Is that back?

676
00:30:57,648 --> 00:30:59,732
Because I've been dying
for that to come back.

677
00:30:59,816 --> 00:31:00,858
Wassup!

678
00:31:01,026 --> 00:31:02,193
Yeah!

679
00:31:02,861 --> 00:31:04,028
That's my boy! Look at him!

680
00:31:04,112 --> 00:31:05,321
He ain't a tight-ass.

681
00:31:05,405 --> 00:31:06,489
Wassup!

682
00:31:07,991 --> 00:31:12,286
-Wassup!
-Wassup!

683
00:31:12,663 --> 00:31:14,205
Wassup!

684
00:31:16,959 --> 00:31:18,209
What's up?

685
00:31:21,630 --> 00:31:23,506
Boo!

686
00:31:23,966 --> 00:31:25,925
That was terrible, Todd.

687
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:28,719
So, I see the train coming,

688
00:31:28,804 --> 00:31:30,846
and something
kind of like takes over me, you know?

689
00:31:32,683 --> 00:31:34,225
-Here you go, Abigail.
-Thank you.

690
00:31:34,309 --> 00:31:37,436
And so, I decide to jump
off the platform, right?

691
00:31:37,854 --> 00:31:39,480
Snaps my legs in two.

692
00:31:40,482 --> 00:31:43,025
What did I expect?
It was a 25-foot drop, you know?

693
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:44,610
Twenty-five feet?

694
00:31:44,861 --> 00:31:46,946
So I grab Burrito Bandito over here,

695
00:31:47,030 --> 00:31:48,322
and I just roll him out of the way.

696
00:31:48,949 --> 00:31:50,658
The train missed our skulls by inches.

697
00:31:51,285 --> 00:31:52,868
Why would you do
something like that, Todd?

698
00:31:53,328 --> 00:31:54,662
You know, I really don't know, Steve.

699
00:31:54,955 --> 00:31:56,914
I mean, why wouldn't you
just buy another burrito?

700
00:31:57,249 --> 00:31:58,583
Yeah, no, I know.

701
00:31:58,667 --> 00:32:00,334
I don't know what I could have been thinking.

702
00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:03,671
Maybe he was high on the hashish.

703
00:32:05,299 --> 00:32:07,008
Hey, how about I
get you another beer, huh, Donny Boy?

704
00:32:07,426 --> 00:32:08,426
Twenty's my limit.

705
00:32:08,510 --> 00:32:10,052
No! No, no.

706
00:32:10,137 --> 00:32:12,888
But, Donny Boy
has got to go to bed, though, right?

707
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:15,933
Oh, fiddlesnatch.

708
00:32:16,518 --> 00:32:17,602
It's the afternoon.

709
00:32:17,853 --> 00:32:20,563
Remember you told me
you wanted to get to bed early?

710
00:32:21,648 --> 00:32:23,107
Oh, okay. Yeah, no, no, no.

711
00:32:23,191 --> 00:32:24,191
Todd's right.

712
00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:25,276
Oh, my God.

713
00:32:25,611 --> 00:32:26,986
You're right, it is him.

714
00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:28,571
-You're Donny Berger.
-It's him.

715
00:32:28,864 --> 00:32:31,324
Do you remember that kid who got
his teacher pregnant in Somerville?

716
00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:33,034
Wait a minute, that is you.

717
00:32:33,118 --> 00:32:34,285
Donny Berger.

718
00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:36,537
Didn't you and your teacher have a kid?

719
00:32:36,622 --> 00:32:38,039
Wait a minute. What was his name?

720
00:32:38,123 --> 00:32:39,874
Indiana Jones, huh?

721
00:32:40,042 --> 00:32:42,043
It was something fantastic like that.

722
00:32:42,127 --> 00:32:43,419
Yeah, Han Solo Berger.

723
00:32:43,670 --> 00:32:45,713
Yeah, Han Solo, Han Solo.
What ever happened to him?

724
00:32:46,048 --> 00:32:47,131
What happened to him?

725
00:32:47,215 --> 00:32:48,883
He actually became a dick.

726
00:32:50,927 --> 00:32:52,803
A private eye, I mean.

727
00:32:53,138 --> 00:32:55,681
One of the biggest
and hairiest dicks in the world.

728
00:32:56,224 --> 00:32:57,224
Okay.

729
00:32:57,601 --> 00:33:00,728
Hey, look, this might seem weird,
but do you think you would ever...

730
00:33:00,937 --> 00:33:03,314
Bone your wife? Yeah, I mean, I'd love to.

731
00:33:03,482 --> 00:33:05,107
She's a hot little number.

732
00:33:06,068 --> 00:33:09,153
Well, you know, I was just
going to ask you for an autograph, but...

733
00:33:09,237 --> 00:33:11,697
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. On her tits or...

734
00:33:12,157 --> 00:33:14,408
-Or a piece of paper would be fine.
-Yeah, or a photo.

735
00:33:14,785 --> 00:33:16,077
Okay, well, this has been fun.

736
00:33:16,411 --> 00:33:18,371
-But, Donny...
-Not to toot my own horn,

737
00:33:18,455 --> 00:33:20,122
but I got kind of close once.

738
00:33:20,207 --> 00:33:22,541
Mrs. Weiss, freshman geometry.

739
00:33:22,626 --> 00:33:23,959
And I think she would have done it, too.

740
00:33:24,044 --> 00:33:25,795
I just didn't know how to make the move.

741
00:33:26,088 --> 00:33:27,505
You know what? I would have killed

742
00:33:27,589 --> 00:33:30,341
to bang my eighth grade
biology teacher, Mrs. Cohn.

743
00:33:30,425 --> 00:33:33,177
I used to dream of
dissecting her with my penis.

744
00:33:33,261 --> 00:33:37,098
It's so weird what goes on upstairs
when you hit puberty.

745
00:33:37,557 --> 00:33:41,894
I actually stole
my middle school librarian's glasses

746
00:33:41,978 --> 00:33:44,230
to wear while I masturbated.

747
00:33:44,981 --> 00:33:45,981
What is that about?

748
00:33:46,274 --> 00:33:48,651
In my day, when I got into trouble,

749
00:33:48,944 --> 00:33:51,821
the headmaster would
slap your hand with his dick.

750
00:33:53,156 --> 00:33:54,448
She wins.

751
00:33:56,284 --> 00:33:58,536
You know, Todd was working at the cubicle

752
00:33:58,620 --> 00:34:01,997
next to mine one year,
1 2 weeks and one day ago

753
00:34:02,082 --> 00:34:04,417
when he met a pretty girl
at the gym named Jamie.

754
00:34:05,460 --> 00:34:07,086
How many days is that, Todd?

755
00:34:07,295 --> 00:34:08,671
Computing, Steve.

756
00:34:09,631 --> 00:34:10,881
451 .

757
00:34:13,635 --> 00:34:15,678
It's actually 450.

758
00:34:16,179 --> 00:34:17,638
Battle of the brainiacs!

759
00:34:17,973 --> 00:34:20,266
Yeah, this guy forgot
about leap year, I guess.

760
00:34:22,519 --> 00:34:23,769
He's smarter than Todd!

761
00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:27,481
Okay, we're talking a lot about numbers,
but let's get back to love.

762
00:34:28,108 --> 00:34:29,066
What's the matter, hot stuff?

763
00:34:29,151 --> 00:34:30,192
Where do you think you get it from?

764
00:34:30,318 --> 00:34:31,485
Your mother was a math teacher,

765
00:34:31,570 --> 00:34:33,362
and I was pretty much a whiz kid myself.

766
00:34:33,989 --> 00:34:36,031
The ability to make a bong
out of a Taco Bell cup

767
00:34:36,116 --> 00:34:37,450
doesn't make you a whiz kid, Donny.

768
00:34:38,410 --> 00:34:40,327
Leap year, motherfucker.

769
00:34:40,579 --> 00:34:43,414
I think it's kind of a magical moment.

770
00:34:43,498 --> 00:34:47,084
You know, Todd's oldest friend, Donny,
miraculously appearing like this.

771
00:34:47,169 --> 00:34:48,169
What?

772
00:34:48,253 --> 00:34:51,839
So I am graciously
going to step aside and allow Donny

773
00:34:52,340 --> 00:34:53,841
to take over as the best man.

774
00:34:53,925 --> 00:34:54,967
Give it up for Donny!

775
00:34:55,093 --> 00:34:56,427
Oh, no, no, no.

776
00:34:56,511 --> 00:34:58,095
Phil, you don't have to do that.

777
00:34:58,513 --> 00:35:00,306
No music. No, no, no, no.

778
00:35:00,557 --> 00:35:02,683
Kill the music. Phil, Phil, you...

779
00:35:02,893 --> 00:35:04,477
That's so nice of you,
but you don't have to do that.

780
00:35:04,811 --> 00:35:06,854
Oh, I don't mind. You two are very close.

781
00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:09,231
We are. We are very close,
but you and I are close, too.

782
00:35:09,691 --> 00:35:13,027
Well, we work together,
but I wouldn't call us close.

783
00:35:13,487 --> 00:35:17,364
I mean, I was actually kind of surprised
when you asked me to be your best man.

784
00:35:17,449 --> 00:35:19,074
Made me feel a little sorry for you.

785
00:35:19,701 --> 00:35:21,786
That's true. He had no idea who he was.

786
00:35:21,870 --> 00:35:23,120
No.

787
00:35:23,288 --> 00:35:25,372
I accept. I do. I love it. It's an honor.

788
00:35:25,499 --> 00:35:27,208
-Way to go, Donny!
-Are you kidding me?

789
00:35:27,292 --> 00:35:29,293
You got Fenway Park in your backyard?

790
00:35:29,377 --> 00:35:31,587
I had that built
when my son started Little League.

791
00:35:31,671 --> 00:35:32,713
He never used it.

792
00:35:32,881 --> 00:35:35,508
The little douche bag
just sat in his room listening to reggae.

793
00:35:35,801 --> 00:35:38,093
Well, let's lose these ties
and hit some dingers.

794
00:35:38,261 --> 00:35:39,595
What do you say? Come on!

795
00:35:41,932 --> 00:35:44,433
No, no, no.
Please, don't let this be happening.

796
00:35:45,018 --> 00:35:47,603
Don't let this be happening, please.

797
00:35:47,687 --> 00:35:49,104
No sports.

798
00:35:49,397 --> 00:35:50,940
All right, guys,
let's see what we got out there.

799
00:35:51,066 --> 00:35:54,235
Please don't hit it to me. Please don't
hit it to me. Please don't hit it to me.

800
00:35:54,986 --> 00:35:56,070
Get under it, kid.

801
00:36:00,242 --> 00:36:01,408
Yeah!

802
00:36:03,370 --> 00:36:04,370
Moron.

803
00:36:04,830 --> 00:36:06,205
Here we go! Taking down two there!

804
00:36:06,414 --> 00:36:08,290
All right, Gerald, kid! Here we go, guy!

805
00:36:08,750 --> 00:36:09,875
Stay on it!

806
00:36:11,461 --> 00:36:12,837
Oh, my God!

807
00:36:14,214 --> 00:36:17,091
Grandma, what's up, honey?
Are you awake, sweetheart?

808
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:18,384
Here we go.

809
00:36:18,969 --> 00:36:20,636
Get under it! Get dirty!

810
00:36:21,263 --> 00:36:22,513
What the fuck?

811
00:36:23,974 --> 00:36:26,100
-Got it.
-Nice catch, Mama!

812
00:36:26,434 --> 00:36:28,477
Let's let Todd-o get this one, huh?

813
00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:30,104
Oh, no, that's okay.

814
00:36:30,355 --> 00:36:31,730
Todd, come on!

815
00:36:31,898 --> 00:36:33,524
No, no. Hit one to that two-year-old.

816
00:36:33,650 --> 00:36:35,025
He hasn't gotten one yet.

817
00:36:35,110 --> 00:36:36,360
Here you go, big man.

818
00:36:38,613 --> 00:36:40,030
-What?
-Quit showing off

819
00:36:40,115 --> 00:36:41,866
for the girls, buddy. They're mine.

820
00:36:43,660 --> 00:36:44,743
Come on, now.

821
00:36:48,164 --> 00:36:49,498
You got it. You got it.

822
00:36:53,378 --> 00:36:54,962
Okay, Todd, you all set, buddy?

823
00:36:55,088 --> 00:36:56,255
Don't hit it to me.

824
00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:57,423
Coming to you, homie.

825
00:37:04,180 --> 00:37:05,222
Holy shit.

826
00:37:08,476 --> 00:37:10,477
Oh, my God. Are you all right, guy?

827
00:37:12,731 --> 00:37:13,939
Come on. You're fine.

828
00:37:14,274 --> 00:37:15,566
Throw it in there, guy.

829
00:37:15,817 --> 00:37:17,484
I think the ball's broken.

830
00:37:18,194 --> 00:37:19,194
Throw it in, Todd.

831
00:37:19,321 --> 00:37:20,404
Todd, throw the ball.

832
00:37:20,488 --> 00:37:22,156
Come on, Todd!

833
00:37:22,324 --> 00:37:24,158
Throw it, you big vagina. Do it.

834
00:37:24,409 --> 00:37:26,076
Todd, we want to keep playing, buddy.

835
00:37:26,161 --> 00:37:27,244
We need a ball, kid.

836
00:37:27,329 --> 00:37:28,370
Just throw it.

837
00:37:28,455 --> 00:37:29,496
Such a pussy.

838
00:37:31,833 --> 00:37:32,791
On a rope!

839
00:37:32,876 --> 00:37:34,168
Holy fuck!

840
00:37:37,380 --> 00:37:41,383
We now return to The Donny Berger Story,
starring lan Ziering.

841
00:37:41,635 --> 00:37:42,760
-Yo!
-Donny.

842
00:37:43,011 --> 00:37:45,596
-I'm in a Jacuzzi. Hang on one sec.
-Yeah.

843
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:46,847
Fucking... Here.

844
00:37:46,932 --> 00:37:48,307
-Who'll take the cigar?
-Oh, no.

845
00:37:48,433 --> 00:37:49,433
-Donny.
-Keep that lit for me.

846
00:37:49,517 --> 00:37:50,684
Take my fucking shades.

847
00:37:50,769 --> 00:37:52,019
-Wear them if you want.
-Yeah!

848
00:37:52,103 --> 00:37:53,270
All right. So, hang on.

849
00:37:53,355 --> 00:37:54,313
I want to wear them.

850
00:37:54,397 --> 00:37:55,522
I'll be back.

851
00:37:59,945 --> 00:38:00,945
All right.

852
00:38:01,029 --> 00:38:02,029
My goodness!

853
00:38:02,322 --> 00:38:03,447
Yeah, what's going on?

854
00:38:03,907 --> 00:38:05,282
Guess what's on TV?

855
00:38:05,533 --> 00:38:07,242
Hey, there, little buddy.

856
00:38:07,452 --> 00:38:08,994
l'm Mr. Mitty.

857
00:38:09,871 --> 00:38:13,040
l will always love you.

858
00:38:13,541 --> 00:38:15,292
What is that, The Donny Berger Story?

859
00:38:15,377 --> 00:38:16,377
Hell, yeah.

860
00:38:16,586 --> 00:38:18,671
Don't you get money
every time that shit is shown?

861
00:38:18,755 --> 00:38:20,839
This could be your "get out ofjail free" card.

862
00:38:21,091 --> 00:38:23,884
Last check I got for that was 85 cents.

863
00:38:24,219 --> 00:38:26,553
Is Han Solo gonna do
the show at the women's prison with you?

864
00:38:26,805 --> 00:38:30,349
You know, I haven't
discussed any particulars with him yet.

865
00:38:30,433 --> 00:38:33,394
I am actually just trying
to be a dad right now.

866
00:38:33,895 --> 00:38:35,437
You're gonna go to prison on Tuesday.

867
00:38:35,522 --> 00:38:37,398
You have got to get that money somehow.

868
00:38:39,192 --> 00:38:40,275
Kenny, what the fuck?

869
00:38:40,402 --> 00:38:41,944
I thought this was a bathroom!

870
00:38:42,028 --> 00:38:43,070
Fuck you!

871
00:38:43,571 --> 00:38:45,155
-Honk!
-Oh, nobody squeezes my titty

872
00:38:45,240 --> 00:38:46,365
for free, honey!

873
00:38:46,449 --> 00:38:48,158
Okay, good luck with that.

874
00:38:48,493 --> 00:38:50,160
God, you're such an idiot!

875
00:38:50,245 --> 00:38:52,287
Todd, you already messed up my flowers!

876
00:38:52,747 --> 00:38:54,581
-I'm sorry.
-Just get the cake!

877
00:38:54,874 --> 00:38:57,084
No walnuts! No fucking excuses!

878
00:38:57,502 --> 00:38:59,586
I love you! Do you love me?

879
00:39:00,797 --> 00:39:01,922
What?

880
00:39:03,633 --> 00:39:05,509
"You screwed up my cake!

881
00:39:05,593 --> 00:39:06,760
"You screwed up my cake!"

882
00:39:06,886 --> 00:39:08,012
What?

883
00:39:08,096 --> 00:39:09,722
It's me, it's me. Can I come in?

884
00:39:09,806 --> 00:39:11,181
-Yeah, sure.
-What's up, buddy?

885
00:39:11,266 --> 00:39:14,184
What was she yelling at?
What'd you do wrong?

886
00:39:14,519 --> 00:39:16,603
She's just stressed out
'cause of the wedding.

887
00:39:16,730 --> 00:39:18,063
Oh, really?

888
00:39:18,148 --> 00:39:20,607
You sure she's not stressed out
about maybe sex or something?

889
00:39:20,692 --> 00:39:22,443
Have you been going down on her?

890
00:39:22,944 --> 00:39:24,361
-What?
-No, I'm just saying,

891
00:39:24,446 --> 00:39:26,530
a lot of times, girls I've met over the years,

892
00:39:26,614 --> 00:39:28,824
when they've been
ragging on me and yelling at me and shit,

893
00:39:28,908 --> 00:39:31,326
if I kiss their pussies, they kind of go,

894
00:39:31,411 --> 00:39:33,537
"You're right, you're a good guy."

895
00:39:34,289 --> 00:39:36,040
Yeah, that's personal, Donny.

896
00:39:36,249 --> 00:39:38,042
Yeah, no, no.
You know her better than me, fine.

897
00:39:38,793 --> 00:39:39,877
So...

898
00:39:41,296 --> 00:39:43,172
You wear a bathing suit in the shower?

899
00:39:43,590 --> 00:39:45,966
-You know that's fucking nuts, right?
-Are you serious?

900
00:39:46,051 --> 00:39:48,635
I can't even take my shirt off
in front of other people because of you.

901
00:39:48,928 --> 00:39:51,096
Because of me. What did I do this time?

902
00:39:51,473 --> 00:39:52,973
Let me jog your memory.

903
00:39:59,064 --> 00:40:00,481
The New Kids on the Block!

904
00:40:00,857 --> 00:40:01,899
Holy shit!

905
00:40:01,983 --> 00:40:04,109
Their heads are all warped now!

906
00:40:04,194 --> 00:40:05,611
Oh, my God!

907
00:40:05,695 --> 00:40:07,905
Yeah, it's 'cause I got it
when I was in third grade.

908
00:40:07,989 --> 00:40:09,073
My body grew.

909
00:40:09,157 --> 00:40:11,241
I'm sorry. It's fine, it's fine.
Let me see it again.

910
00:40:12,827 --> 00:40:14,620
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh

911
00:40:14,704 --> 00:40:16,872
You got a back tattoo

912
00:40:16,956 --> 00:40:18,749
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh

913
00:40:18,833 --> 00:40:20,584
Their heads are fucking warped

914
00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:23,045
-You suck.
-Come on, dude.

915
00:40:23,129 --> 00:40:24,338
Why you getting so serious?

916
00:40:24,464 --> 00:40:26,507
I still got the tattoo I got when I was...

917
00:40:26,591 --> 00:40:29,343
When I was a teenager.
And I'm fine with it, you know.

918
00:40:31,429 --> 00:40:34,014
"De plane! De plane!"

919
00:40:34,808 --> 00:40:35,891
"De plane!"

920
00:40:36,309 --> 00:40:38,936
Yeah, I remember it.
I still don't know who that is.

921
00:40:39,687 --> 00:40:40,938
It's fucking...

922
00:40:41,022 --> 00:40:43,232
"De plane, de plane" guy
from Fantasy lsland.

923
00:40:43,316 --> 00:40:44,316
Tattoo.

924
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:46,360
I got a tattoo of Tattoo.
I thought that was funny.

925
00:40:46,694 --> 00:40:47,820
Well, it's not.

926
00:40:48,113 --> 00:40:49,404
Lighten up, dude. Come on.

927
00:40:49,489 --> 00:40:50,864
-"De plane!"
-Don't. Donny, don't.

928
00:40:51,282 --> 00:40:52,407
-I'm serious.
-"De plane!"

929
00:40:52,492 --> 00:40:53,492
-No.
-You're still ticklish.

930
00:40:53,576 --> 00:40:55,202
No, I'm not ticklish!

931
00:40:58,039 --> 00:40:59,456
-Come on, now!
-The tickle monster.

932
00:40:59,541 --> 00:41:01,750
-I tickle you like that.
-No.

933
00:41:01,835 --> 00:41:02,960
Stop! No, stop it!

934
00:41:03,044 --> 00:41:04,419
Watch yourself.

935
00:41:04,838 --> 00:41:06,630
Stop it! Stop it, no!

936
00:41:07,715 --> 00:41:08,924
Give me that, Hansie.

937
00:41:09,175 --> 00:41:10,884
Why is your dick in my face?

938
00:41:10,969 --> 00:41:12,678
And why is it kind of hard?

939
00:41:12,804 --> 00:41:15,264
What are you two homos doing?

940
00:41:19,811 --> 00:41:21,061
Just rasslin'.

941
00:41:21,771 --> 00:41:22,813
All right.

942
00:41:22,897 --> 00:41:24,898
'Cause you're looking at an all-state
fucking wrestling champion,

943
00:41:24,983 --> 00:41:26,233
and I got the winner.

944
00:41:26,401 --> 00:41:27,651
Okay. Well, he won.

945
00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:29,111
-No, I didn't.
-Yeah, you did. You won.

946
00:41:29,195 --> 00:41:30,195
What? No, I didn't.

947
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:31,989
You're gonna love it, buddy. Wrestle him.

948
00:41:32,073 --> 00:41:33,574
-Yeah, Chad.
-No, no.

949
00:41:33,741 --> 00:41:35,033
It's actually a funny story.

950
00:41:35,118 --> 00:41:36,243
We were having a tickle fight.

951
00:41:36,327 --> 00:41:37,327
We weren't wrestling at all.

952
00:41:37,412 --> 00:41:39,204
I was losing, admittedly.

953
00:41:39,289 --> 00:41:41,874
Aw, God, I got to start doing
some crunches or something.

954
00:41:41,958 --> 00:41:43,083
Look at this.

955
00:41:44,752 --> 00:41:46,086
Oh, you don't like him?

956
00:41:46,254 --> 00:41:47,713
Oh, we don't like you.

957
00:41:48,423 --> 00:41:50,257
He's talking to his dick, buddy.

958
00:41:52,093 --> 00:41:53,260
Now he's hitting it.

959
00:41:53,887 --> 00:41:54,928
No! Why?

960
00:41:55,096 --> 00:41:57,639
You got to puff that fucker up!

961
00:41:58,057 --> 00:41:59,099
Oh, what? No.

962
00:41:59,184 --> 00:42:01,143
You don't have to puff that fucker up.

963
00:42:01,269 --> 00:42:02,436
Let's do this.

964
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,479
Chad, I'm sure you're very athletic... Okay!

965
00:42:04,564 --> 00:42:05,731
Okay!

966
00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:08,108
I tap out. You win, you win. I tap out.

967
00:42:08,193 --> 00:42:10,652
Do you like fucking my sister, Todd?

968
00:42:11,112 --> 00:42:13,739
I mean, do you like
sticking your dirty booger fingers in her?

969
00:42:14,866 --> 00:42:15,866
Whoa, what was that?

970
00:42:15,950 --> 00:42:17,576
Let's all just keep our heads, okay?

971
00:42:17,660 --> 00:42:18,952
We've all been drinking a lot tonight.

972
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:21,038
I'm gonna skull-fuck you...

973
00:42:23,917 --> 00:42:25,792
And that is the end of that.

974
00:42:28,296 --> 00:42:30,172
What, you're mad at me?

975
00:42:30,715 --> 00:42:32,591
How am I the fucking bad guy right now?

976
00:42:33,134 --> 00:42:36,011
You're gonna fucking give me shit
with that tattoo on your back?

977
00:42:36,095 --> 00:42:38,055
Look at that stupid fucking thing.

978
00:42:38,306 --> 00:42:39,973
Good buddy, he'll be fine.

979
00:42:40,225 --> 00:42:42,893
Yeah, so we got Chad
all tucked in, safe and sound.

980
00:42:43,102 --> 00:42:44,978
I never heard of him
passing out drunk before.

981
00:42:45,146 --> 00:42:46,230
Yeah, it was crazy. It was like,

982
00:42:46,314 --> 00:42:48,523
one second, he was with us, totally awake.

983
00:42:48,608 --> 00:42:50,317
Next thing you know, he's face down,

984
00:42:50,860 --> 00:42:51,985
birds a-chirpin'.

985
00:42:53,821 --> 00:42:55,322
What do you think?

986
00:42:55,990 --> 00:42:57,032
You look amazing.

987
00:42:57,367 --> 00:42:58,617
Oh, wait! Isn't it bad luck

988
00:42:58,701 --> 00:43:00,452
for me to see the dress
before the wedding, though?

989
00:43:00,536 --> 00:43:03,038
This is a $1 2,000 Vera Wang dress.

990
00:43:03,164 --> 00:43:04,331
I'm gonna wear it whenever I want.

991
00:43:05,250 --> 00:43:08,043
You'd look hot in a $1 2 Wang Chung dress.

992
00:43:08,753 --> 00:43:10,337
That sounds like a line Donny would say.

993
00:43:10,505 --> 00:43:11,755
Yeah, except he'd say,

994
00:43:11,839 --> 00:43:15,008
"You'd look friggin' hot
in a Wang Dang Sweet Poontang dress."

995
00:43:15,510 --> 00:43:18,303
Just think he's, like,
trailer park-y or something, you know?

996
00:43:18,513 --> 00:43:20,013
-Yeah.
-That's probably why his son ran off.

997
00:43:20,348 --> 00:43:21,682
His what? What? Who? His son about...

998
00:43:21,849 --> 00:43:23,475
What'd he say?
What did you hear? Did he say something?

999
00:43:23,559 --> 00:43:26,436
Just look at the first page of that book
he's been handing out to everyone.

1000
00:43:26,521 --> 00:43:28,146
He has? What? No.

1001
00:43:29,315 --> 00:43:31,066
Head in the Class?

1002
00:43:31,359 --> 00:43:35,028
He said it's like Head ofthe CIass,
only with blowjobs.

1003
00:43:35,822 --> 00:43:37,072
It's gross.

1004
00:43:37,365 --> 00:43:39,116
Yeah, it's gross. Blowjobs are gross.

1005
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:40,367
We don't do those.

1006
00:43:40,952 --> 00:43:42,911
"Dear Jamie,
I know you'll make Todd very happy

1007
00:43:42,996 --> 00:43:44,454
"if you bleach your little brown eye."

1008
00:43:44,539 --> 00:43:46,373
Oh, no, not this part.

1009
00:43:56,551 --> 00:43:58,385
Wow, that's sad.

1010
00:44:02,056 --> 00:44:03,724
That weirdly got me.

1011
00:44:03,808 --> 00:44:07,019
I don't know why it got me, but it just got me.

1012
00:44:09,522 --> 00:44:10,772
Can I get a hug right now, or...

1013
00:44:10,982 --> 00:44:13,191
No, no, no, no! We can't wrinkle the dress.

1014
00:44:13,276 --> 00:44:15,152
Hey, if you don't want to wrinkle the dress,

1015
00:44:15,236 --> 00:44:17,112
may I suggest we just remove it?

1016
00:44:17,322 --> 00:44:18,488
Did you take two Xanax?

1017
00:44:18,573 --> 00:44:20,949
I actually took three Xanax.

1018
00:44:21,034 --> 00:44:23,243
And you know that the Xanax makes me

1019
00:44:23,494 --> 00:44:26,663
"H" to the "O" to the "R" To the "N" to the "Y"

1020
00:44:26,748 --> 00:44:27,789
So horny for my fiancée

1021
00:44:27,874 --> 00:44:29,541
No! Down.

1022
00:44:30,418 --> 00:44:32,419
I don't want to have sex
with my family in the house.

1023
00:44:32,754 --> 00:44:33,712
No, I know.

1024
00:44:33,796 --> 00:44:36,173
I don't want to have sex
with your family, either.

1025
00:44:36,257 --> 00:44:37,507
In the house.

1026
00:44:38,092 --> 00:44:39,343
Came out weird.

1027
00:44:40,178 --> 00:44:42,804
Possibly my last night of
spanking the hell out of it

1028
00:44:42,889 --> 00:44:45,557
without having a roommate
watching me, so...

1029
00:44:45,933 --> 00:44:47,434
What do we got to work with here?

1030
00:44:52,774 --> 00:44:54,274
Rich people magazines.

1031
00:44:56,444 --> 00:44:58,403
Let's see what we got.

1032
00:45:00,948 --> 00:45:04,076
If I hadn't partied with her husband
so many times, I would.

1033
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:05,994
But it's disrespectful to him.

1034
00:45:06,913 --> 00:45:08,372
I don't know.

1035
00:45:12,460 --> 00:45:13,460
Hello.

1036
00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:18,006
Jeezum Crow, you really were a model,
weren't you, Grandma?

1037
00:45:18,716 --> 00:45:23,512
Yeah, old Mr. Woolworth really, really knew
how to pick them, didn't he?

1038
00:45:24,639 --> 00:45:27,349
I love that old-time bathing suit.

1039
00:45:28,935 --> 00:45:31,311
I could take you
to the speakeasy, and we could,

1040
00:45:31,604 --> 00:45:33,647
we could do the naked Charleston.

1041
00:45:34,315 --> 00:45:37,401
I have to ship out in the
morning to fight the Nazis,

1042
00:45:37,485 --> 00:45:40,404
so you better give me
something to remember.

1043
00:45:41,406 --> 00:45:42,531
What's that?

1044
00:45:43,324 --> 00:45:44,324
Oh, my God.

1045
00:45:44,909 --> 00:45:48,328
Old lady Grandma wants to
get in on the action, too.

1046
00:45:49,122 --> 00:45:50,414
Should we let her?

1047
00:45:50,498 --> 00:45:52,749
I think we should.

1048
00:45:53,084 --> 00:45:54,459
Oh, my God.

1049
00:45:56,087 --> 00:45:57,671
Why do I like her better right now?

1050
00:45:58,339 --> 00:45:59,589
Oh, you bad...

1051
00:45:59,674 --> 00:46:03,260
What have you done to me?

1052
00:46:05,805 --> 00:46:09,349
We got to go for round two,
but give me a little bit of time.

1053
00:46:10,184 --> 00:46:12,018
Give me a little bit of time.

1054
00:46:15,022 --> 00:46:16,731
Oh, lovely.

1055
00:46:17,316 --> 00:46:18,692
Just lovely.

1056
00:46:26,242 --> 00:46:27,367
Goodness.

1057
00:46:33,708 --> 00:46:34,916
Oh, my word.

1058
00:46:39,005 --> 00:46:42,048
Best man, wedding rehearsal in an hour.

1059
00:46:43,092 --> 00:46:45,051
There's so many tissues.

1060
00:46:49,390 --> 00:46:51,641
Oh, God. You know,
don't touch those, okay? Let's...

1061
00:46:51,809 --> 00:46:53,226
Okay.

1062
00:46:53,394 --> 00:46:54,936
I'm gonna just clean that up.

1063
00:46:55,271 --> 00:46:56,480
Yeah, Donny's sick.

1064
00:46:56,981 --> 00:46:58,773
You don't want to touch these
'cause you'll get sick.

1065
00:46:59,025 --> 00:47:01,067
He's got post-nasal drip, so...

1066
00:47:08,242 --> 00:47:10,660
The tissue's stuck to my picture.

1067
00:47:10,745 --> 00:47:11,912
Here, let me.

1068
00:47:13,915 --> 00:47:15,248
I'll grab that from you. I got it.

1069
00:47:16,417 --> 00:47:19,002
Oh, look at that!
There's a little tissue beard there.

1070
00:47:19,086 --> 00:47:21,213
No, don't touch it, please.
Don't worry about it.

1071
00:47:21,297 --> 00:47:22,756
Oh, that poor dear.

1072
00:47:23,090 --> 00:47:25,217
I'll just get him some nice, fresh juice.

1073
00:47:25,635 --> 00:47:27,135
Juice. That's a great idea.

1074
00:47:27,220 --> 00:47:28,762
Thank you, Grandma D. Thanks.

1075
00:47:29,347 --> 00:47:32,766
You know, hon,
if he's really under the weather,

1076
00:47:32,850 --> 00:47:36,102
maybe it's best
if he doesn't masturbate so much.

1077
00:47:37,688 --> 00:47:38,980
That's good advice.

1078
00:47:39,065 --> 00:47:40,607
I'll tell him that, thank you.

1079
00:47:44,529 --> 00:47:46,988
Okay, you can stop
pretending to sleep, Sir Jizz-a-lot.

1080
00:47:47,448 --> 00:47:50,992
The old broad knew I was whacking to
her the whole time, didn't she?

1081
00:47:51,327 --> 00:47:52,369
That's so funny.

1082
00:47:52,453 --> 00:47:55,789
But your improvs were awesome.
"Post-nasal dick," or whatever you said.

1083
00:47:55,998 --> 00:48:00,252
You know, I can't believe
your balls produce that much stuff.

1084
00:48:00,711 --> 00:48:02,337
Dude, at least I got balls.

1085
00:48:02,630 --> 00:48:03,838
What's that supposed to mean?

1086
00:48:05,007 --> 00:48:08,176
Let me just crack open
some happiness first, yeah.

1087
00:48:09,303 --> 00:48:10,887
All I'm saying is the Chad thing,

1088
00:48:10,972 --> 00:48:12,681
when that dude came at you last night,

1089
00:48:12,974 --> 00:48:14,975
you kind of, like,
looked like a deer in headlights.

1090
00:48:15,393 --> 00:48:18,270
Your whole aura is actually that of a pussy.

1091
00:48:18,354 --> 00:48:19,563
Or a kiss-ass.

1092
00:48:19,647 --> 00:48:20,981
It is not.

1093
00:48:22,024 --> 00:48:23,066
It is, too.

1094
00:48:23,818 --> 00:48:25,277
What the fuck am I doing?

1095
00:48:25,361 --> 00:48:27,654
No, I'm just saying
you got to stand up for yourself

1096
00:48:27,780 --> 00:48:29,990
every once in a while, buddy,
or she's never gonna bang you.

1097
00:48:30,366 --> 00:48:32,951
I'll have you know, she bangs me all the time.

1098
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:34,661
All right? She bangs.

1099
00:48:35,329 --> 00:48:37,789
Does she live the Ia vida Ioca, too, or...

1100
00:48:38,332 --> 00:48:39,374
Very funny.

1101
00:48:44,338 --> 00:48:45,380
Well, good day, everyone.

1102
00:48:45,464 --> 00:48:46,548
Father.

1103
00:48:46,632 --> 00:48:48,883
Father McNally, thank you so much
for coming out to the Cape.

1104
00:48:49,093 --> 00:48:50,093
My honor.

1105
00:48:50,177 --> 00:48:51,219
Very cool.

1106
00:48:51,304 --> 00:48:52,304
Oh, yes.

1107
00:48:52,888 --> 00:48:54,014
Chad.

1108
00:48:54,974 --> 00:48:56,600
You'll excuse me, won't you?

1109
00:48:56,934 --> 00:48:59,227
While you're in this church,
you'll show the proper respect.

1110
00:48:59,645 --> 00:49:01,646
No e-mailing, no texting,

1111
00:49:02,648 --> 00:49:06,276
no Facebooking,
no Skyping and no Angry Birds.

1112
00:49:06,902 --> 00:49:08,236
That one hurts.

1113
00:49:08,988 --> 00:49:10,864
No, no. I get it.

1114
00:49:11,324 --> 00:49:12,866
It's the 201 0s.

1115
00:49:13,242 --> 00:49:15,201
Everyone's having sex and drinking lattes.

1116
00:49:15,411 --> 00:49:16,953
No, Father.

1117
00:49:17,747 --> 00:49:20,040
But, you see, this is my world.

1118
00:49:21,042 --> 00:49:23,043
We'll abide by my rules while we're here.

1119
00:49:24,378 --> 00:49:27,339
Maybe we should start
with the father of the groom.

1120
00:49:30,217 --> 00:49:31,551
His father passed away.

1121
00:49:31,844 --> 00:49:33,511
He died in an explosion.

1122
00:49:34,388 --> 00:49:37,307
Sounds fishy, but it really happened.

1123
00:49:41,020 --> 00:49:42,771
I'm truly sorry to hear that, son.

1124
00:49:43,230 --> 00:49:45,231
Thank you, but it's fine.

1125
00:49:45,900 --> 00:49:46,900
He deserved it.

1126
00:49:47,234 --> 00:49:48,568
So...

1127
00:49:48,653 --> 00:49:50,070
What is that supposed to mean?

1128
00:49:50,404 --> 00:49:52,322
Oh, I didn't mean anything by it.

1129
00:49:52,406 --> 00:49:54,532
He just, you know, wasn't a great dad.

1130
00:50:04,377 --> 00:50:06,753
So your father, he abused you, did he?

1131
00:50:07,421 --> 00:50:08,755
No, nothing like that.

1132
00:50:09,131 --> 00:50:11,257
Was he a murderer? Rapist?

1133
00:50:12,885 --> 00:50:14,260
No. Father, I'm sorry, I...

1134
00:50:14,345 --> 00:50:18,264
My father beat me every day with a rake.

1135
00:50:19,934 --> 00:50:23,186
But you don't hear me smack-talking him
like some baby little princess.

1136
00:50:23,270 --> 00:50:25,021
Not here in the house of the Lord.

1137
00:50:36,617 --> 00:50:39,160
You know, I can't hear a word you're saying.

1138
00:50:41,706 --> 00:50:44,374
All I can focus on is your shit breath.

1139
00:50:49,797 --> 00:50:52,882
I'd like to show you the garden for a minute.

1140
00:51:00,433 --> 00:51:01,474
Now, then.

1141
00:51:01,642 --> 00:51:02,892
Okay, you know what? Let's just...

1142
00:51:08,858 --> 00:51:09,899
Fucking old guy's got

1143
00:51:09,984 --> 00:51:11,276
-a cannon on him.
-What happened?

1144
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:13,361
What happened
is I think he's having a mini-meltdown.

1145
00:51:13,779 --> 00:51:15,572
-Yeah, he's taking his shirt off now.
-Oh, my God.

1146
00:51:15,656 --> 00:51:19,117
And he's pretty ripped for an old fuck,
so we're in trouble right now.

1147
00:51:19,618 --> 00:51:20,827
What is going on here?

1148
00:51:20,953 --> 00:51:22,078
All right, all right.

1149
00:51:22,163 --> 00:51:23,204
Go time, go time.

1150
00:51:23,289 --> 00:51:24,330
No, think about what you're doing!

1151
00:51:24,457 --> 00:51:25,665
Be careful.

1152
00:51:26,125 --> 00:51:27,417
He bit me!

1153
00:51:27,668 --> 00:51:28,835
Did you see that? That was amazing!

1154
00:51:28,961 --> 00:51:29,961
This could get ugly.

1155
00:51:30,045 --> 00:51:32,172
The Father actually killed a guy in the ring.

1156
00:51:32,256 --> 00:51:33,548
That's why he became a priest.

1157
00:51:34,425 --> 00:51:35,759
Just keep your hands up, kid!

1158
00:51:35,843 --> 00:51:36,843
Get 'em down!

1159
00:51:36,927 --> 00:51:38,386
Hang in there, guy!

1160
00:51:39,180 --> 00:51:40,513
He keeps punching him!

1161
00:51:42,725 --> 00:51:43,892
Come on, guy.

1162
00:51:45,811 --> 00:51:46,853
That's my boy!

1163
00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:49,856
Why, you came right back
with your own shit. Nice, kid.

1164
00:51:53,652 --> 00:51:54,652
What the fuck is that?

1165
00:51:54,737 --> 00:51:56,780
Okay, he's going to
a whole other place right now.

1166
00:52:00,159 --> 00:52:01,284
You know what? Maybe just run.

1167
00:52:01,368 --> 00:52:03,495
Get the fuck out of here. Go, go, go, go, go.

1168
00:52:04,246 --> 00:52:05,288
No.

1169
00:52:06,081 --> 00:52:07,165
I'm not gonna run.

1170
00:52:07,291 --> 00:52:08,708
Finish him, Father McNally!

1171
00:52:08,793 --> 00:52:10,168
Finish him!

1172
00:52:23,724 --> 00:52:26,851
Geez. He went down
like a sack of potatoes, huh?

1173
00:52:30,397 --> 00:52:32,065
What is the matter with you?

1174
00:52:32,233 --> 00:52:34,567
You know, we've known
Father McNally for 30 years.

1175
00:52:34,652 --> 00:52:36,152
-Thirty years! Thirty years.
-Thirty years.

1176
00:52:36,487 --> 00:52:37,570
I ought to rip off your head!

1177
00:52:39,114 --> 00:52:40,114
Gerald!

1178
00:52:40,199 --> 00:52:41,407
I'm sorry.

1179
00:52:41,492 --> 00:52:44,118
Sorry's not gonna keep you
from burning in hell, Todd.

1180
00:52:44,411 --> 00:52:45,954
Hey, this is all my fault.

1181
00:52:46,038 --> 00:52:47,831
I shouldn't have hit the guy with the bottle.

1182
00:52:47,915 --> 00:52:49,290
I'm, like, a moron over here.

1183
00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:51,501
No, now, Donny,
I will not let you take the blame for this.

1184
00:52:51,585 --> 00:52:53,753
You had to do it. You saved his life again.

1185
00:52:54,213 --> 00:52:56,089
And you looked very sexy doing it.

1186
00:52:57,883 --> 00:53:00,260
Why was the sound of that bottle so familiar?

1187
00:53:00,427 --> 00:53:02,262
Todd is such a loser.

1188
00:53:02,763 --> 00:53:03,972
Here comes your girl. Here we go.

1189
00:53:04,723 --> 00:53:05,849
Jame, I'm sorry, but, look,

1190
00:53:05,933 --> 00:53:07,433
you got to admit,
I stood up for myself back there.

1191
00:53:07,643 --> 00:53:09,769
Do you have fucking rocks
in your head, Todd?

1192
00:53:10,271 --> 00:53:11,271
No.

1193
00:53:11,355 --> 00:53:12,355
Well, where are we gonna get married now?

1194
00:53:12,439 --> 00:53:13,773
We got kicked out of the church!

1195
00:53:13,858 --> 00:53:15,066
Jame...

1196
00:53:15,442 --> 00:53:16,568
What is everybody's problem?

1197
00:53:16,652 --> 00:53:18,403
You were awesome out there.
You kicked ass.

1198
00:53:18,487 --> 00:53:20,280
-You should be proud of yourself.
-Proud of myself?

1199
00:53:20,698 --> 00:53:21,865
For what?

1200
00:53:21,949 --> 00:53:24,409
I got my ass kicked,
and everyone's pissed off at me.

1201
00:53:24,493 --> 00:53:26,911
And, by the way,
thanks for the fatherly advice, guy.

1202
00:53:27,538 --> 00:53:29,289
That's the last time I listen to you.

1203
00:53:34,003 --> 00:53:35,086
-I'm gonna choke him out!
-He's an asshole!

1204
00:53:35,212 --> 00:53:36,504
I'm gonna choke him out.

1205
00:53:36,589 --> 00:53:38,089
I'm just gonna choke him out.

1206
00:53:38,299 --> 00:53:39,465
Hey, guys, guys?

1207
00:53:39,550 --> 00:53:42,302
Can I just say
something before we all turn on Todd?

1208
00:53:43,262 --> 00:53:45,054
Churches freak the kid out,

1209
00:53:45,139 --> 00:53:47,015
ever since his father's funeral.

1210
00:53:47,349 --> 00:53:48,808
After the explosion,

1211
00:53:49,393 --> 00:53:55,690
all that was left of his dad was, like,
a kneecap and a little bit of nut sack.

1212
00:53:57,443 --> 00:53:59,694
It was supposed to be a closed casket,

1213
00:53:59,778 --> 00:54:01,946
but there was a foul-up at the mortuary,

1214
00:54:02,031 --> 00:54:04,032
and he actually saw a squirrel

1215
00:54:04,116 --> 00:54:07,201
run into the coffin and kind of

1216
00:54:08,078 --> 00:54:10,455
squeak out of there with his
dad's ball bag in his mouth.

1217
00:54:10,539 --> 00:54:12,624
You know, that's gonna
fuck any of us up, so...

1218
00:54:13,584 --> 00:54:15,209
So you actually knew Todd's father?

1219
00:54:15,586 --> 00:54:17,086
Of course I knew the guy.

1220
00:54:17,171 --> 00:54:19,005
He was handsome, he had fucking great hair,

1221
00:54:19,423 --> 00:54:21,174
a Jedi with the chicks.

1222
00:54:21,884 --> 00:54:24,844
Went down on girls
for a wicked long time 'cause he was a giver

1223
00:54:24,929 --> 00:54:26,471
and he wanted to see others be happy.

1224
00:54:27,097 --> 00:54:28,765
I wish I could have met him.

1225
00:54:30,184 --> 00:54:31,351
Sounds like a gentleman.

1226
00:54:32,728 --> 00:54:34,437
Was he there enough for the kid?

1227
00:54:34,521 --> 00:54:35,813
No, maybe not. But,

1228
00:54:36,065 --> 00:54:38,524
you know, he probably felt bad about it.

1229
00:54:38,901 --> 00:54:41,819
You know, and there's nothing
he can do about it now, so...

1230
00:54:42,863 --> 00:54:43,988
Toddsy.

1231
00:54:44,740 --> 00:54:46,115
Oh, Todd.

1232
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:47,659
I had no idea.

1233
00:54:48,202 --> 00:54:49,327
Poor thing. Are you okay?

1234
00:54:49,411 --> 00:54:50,411
Yeah, yeah.

1235
00:54:50,704 --> 00:54:51,704
It's fine, but

1236
00:54:52,206 --> 00:54:54,082
sometimes I do still have nightmares.

1237
00:54:54,208 --> 00:54:55,208
Oh, boy.

1238
00:54:55,376 --> 00:54:57,961
That squirrel and its demonic eyes.

1239
00:54:58,963 --> 00:55:01,339
Tiny piece of skin flapping in its mouth.

1240
00:55:02,383 --> 00:55:04,258
One lone scraggly hair.

1241
00:55:05,219 --> 00:55:06,719
A pubic hair.

1242
00:55:07,137 --> 00:55:09,222
I mean, maybe this is
a blessing, though, guys.

1243
00:55:09,306 --> 00:55:11,307
Do we really want
Father McNutty to be the one

1244
00:55:11,392 --> 00:55:13,434
who brings these two guys together?

1245
00:55:13,519 --> 00:55:14,769
I mean, I don't think so.

1246
00:55:15,104 --> 00:55:17,271
I'm pretty tied into the church crowd,

1247
00:55:17,356 --> 00:55:19,190
Rageaholics Anonymous and whatnot.

1248
00:55:19,274 --> 00:55:20,650
I could find a priest for you.

1249
00:55:20,734 --> 00:55:22,026
I mean, what type are we looking for?

1250
00:55:22,194 --> 00:55:23,403
Maybe a younger guy.

1251
00:55:23,487 --> 00:55:24,487
Younger guy.

1252
00:55:24,571 --> 00:55:25,655
How about a black guy?

1253
00:55:25,864 --> 00:55:27,323
Now, I like that.

1254
00:55:27,408 --> 00:55:29,283
It's very urban, very street.

1255
00:55:29,618 --> 00:55:30,618
Okay.

1256
00:55:30,786 --> 00:55:32,829
But that still doesn't get us a church.

1257
00:55:33,122 --> 00:55:36,833
Well, I'll tell you where I would tie the knot
if I was these two sexy kids.

1258
00:55:43,048 --> 00:55:44,882
Donny, this is just such a great idea.

1259
00:55:44,967 --> 00:55:46,384
-Thanks.
-Don't you love the pergola?

1260
00:55:46,468 --> 00:55:47,677
They're gorgeous!

1261
00:55:47,761 --> 00:55:50,596
You know what,
maybe a little more girly shit up on the arch.

1262
00:55:50,723 --> 00:55:51,806
You know, you're right.

1263
00:55:51,890 --> 00:55:54,851
Excuse me, sir,
put some more girly shit up there.

1264
00:55:54,935 --> 00:55:56,185
Calling all ladies!

1265
00:55:56,270 --> 00:55:58,229
The bus for the bachelorette party is here!
Come on!

1266
00:55:58,939 --> 00:56:01,274
Honey, you guys have fun
at the bachelor party!

1267
00:56:01,483 --> 00:56:02,525
Okay.

1268
00:56:02,609 --> 00:56:04,318
Don't get too crazy. Know your limits.

1269
00:56:05,112 --> 00:56:07,238
-Okay.
-We're having a bachelor party?

1270
00:56:07,448 --> 00:56:08,573
That's, like, my thing, man.

1271
00:56:09,074 --> 00:56:11,701
Hookers, blow, balloons filled with piss.

1272
00:56:11,785 --> 00:56:13,786
I mean, the sky's the limit, kid.

1273
00:56:14,121 --> 00:56:15,872
No, no, no. Donny, we're all set.

1274
00:56:15,956 --> 00:56:18,791
I have arranged
a very special evening for us tonight.

1275
00:56:19,668 --> 00:56:21,711
This is gonna be awesome!

1276
00:56:22,629 --> 00:56:24,881
I read about this place in Oprah's magazine.

1277
00:56:24,965 --> 00:56:29,093
I don't know if she writes the articles herself,
but there's some real good stuff in it.

1278
00:56:29,178 --> 00:56:31,637
Hi, we're for the Todd Peterson party, please.

1279
00:56:31,930 --> 00:56:33,014
Good evening, gentlemen.

1280
00:56:33,265 --> 00:56:34,807
Mrs. Ravensdale.

1281
00:56:34,892 --> 00:56:36,309
Phil, what a blessing.

1282
00:56:36,935 --> 00:56:41,147
Welcome to your bachelor party package
here at He Time Spa For Men.

1283
00:56:41,356 --> 00:56:43,024
Woo-hoo, motherfucker!

1284
00:56:43,108 --> 00:56:45,234
Okay. All right.

1285
00:56:45,319 --> 00:56:47,528
We're gonna set you up
with some nice plush robes,

1286
00:56:47,613 --> 00:56:49,655
and then we have
a wonderful full evening planned

1287
00:56:49,740 --> 00:56:51,949
with massage, facial and nail treatments,

1288
00:56:52,409 --> 00:56:54,577
and then we're going to send you home

1289
00:56:54,661 --> 00:56:59,415
with a special gift
of our house-made lavender scrub.

1290
00:57:00,667 --> 00:57:03,169
Confucius say,
"What the fuck are you talking about?"

1291
00:57:03,879 --> 00:57:04,962
No, Donny,

1292
00:57:05,506 --> 00:57:07,465
Phil thought
it would be nice before the wedding

1293
00:57:07,549 --> 00:57:10,093
for us to all take a little time
to just chill and mellow.

1294
00:57:10,385 --> 00:57:13,221
My wife and I have been
burning it on both ends all week

1295
00:57:13,305 --> 00:57:14,764
with the preschool applications,

1296
00:57:14,848 --> 00:57:16,599
and I am ready to be pampered!

1297
00:57:19,144 --> 00:57:21,479
All right, all right. Now we're talking.

1298
00:57:21,563 --> 00:57:23,439
Hey, thanks, honey.
What the fuck's your name?

1299
00:57:23,524 --> 00:57:24,941
-Jessica. All right.
-Yeah.

1300
00:57:25,025 --> 00:57:26,275
Hey, come on. Here's to the kid.

1301
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:29,320
He's fucking getting all fucked up tonight!

1302
00:57:29,404 --> 00:57:30,446
Last night!

1303
00:57:30,531 --> 00:57:32,865
Fucking last night of poontang for this kid.

1304
00:57:37,663 --> 00:57:39,163
What the fuck is this?

1305
00:57:40,666 --> 00:57:43,876
It's water infused with cucumber,
rose petal and harvest sandalwood.

1306
00:57:44,711 --> 00:57:47,672
It tastes like fucking dick infused with balls.

1307
00:57:49,216 --> 00:57:51,467
And a side of fucking Rod Stewart's jizz.

1308
00:57:53,053 --> 00:57:57,098
Wait a minute. What are we drinking
water at a fucking bachelor party for, Phil?

1309
00:57:57,808 --> 00:57:59,767
You got to show my son your tits later.

1310
00:57:59,852 --> 00:58:02,228
Promise me. Promise me.

1311
00:58:05,149 --> 00:58:07,108
That's nice. Yeah, good.

1312
00:58:07,568 --> 00:58:08,943
This is great, sweetheart.

1313
00:58:09,570 --> 00:58:10,653
Really good.

1314
00:58:10,737 --> 00:58:12,405
Nice work. You're going deep on us, huh?

1315
00:58:13,198 --> 00:58:15,116
That's it.

1316
00:58:15,868 --> 00:58:16,909
What's this, sir?

1317
00:58:16,994 --> 00:58:21,330
That's just a little tip, you know,
if you give me a full package.

1318
00:58:21,748 --> 00:58:24,458
Okay. That's a $1 50 additional charge.

1319
00:58:25,294 --> 00:58:26,627
You're talking to the wrong guy.

1320
00:58:26,712 --> 00:58:27,837
That's a little out of my price range.

1321
00:58:27,921 --> 00:58:30,715
It includes scalp treatment, reflexology.

1322
00:58:30,799 --> 00:58:32,675
How much is it to tickle my pickle?

1323
00:58:33,218 --> 00:58:36,262
To yank my crank?
To give me a ho-jo to go?

1324
00:58:37,264 --> 00:58:39,432
Sweetheart, I'm not asking
for a finger up the ass.

1325
00:58:39,516 --> 00:58:41,767
I just want you to just jerk it a little bit.

1326
00:58:42,269 --> 00:58:44,645
Donny, this isn't a brothel.

1327
00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:49,025
Then I'm completely confused
what the fuck we're doing here right now!

1328
00:58:49,276 --> 00:58:51,527
So, what, you're just going to
get a hand job in front of all of us?

1329
00:58:52,154 --> 00:58:53,237
I don't know. Am I?

1330
00:58:55,199 --> 00:58:56,616
I guess not!

1331
00:58:57,117 --> 00:59:00,119
You know, I have worked
very hard on this night, Don,

1332
00:59:00,621 --> 00:59:02,371
and you're being just plain rude.

1333
00:59:02,789 --> 00:59:04,874
-Phil, no! Phil!
-No, no. Don't do this.

1334
00:59:07,669 --> 00:59:10,004
Nice. That's nice.

1335
00:59:10,422 --> 00:59:13,466
That's good. That's good.

1336
00:59:14,468 --> 00:59:15,676
It tickles.

1337
00:59:15,761 --> 00:59:17,511
Just fight through it, man. It's worth it.

1338
00:59:17,596 --> 00:59:20,223
If you stop, I swear I will kill you.

1339
00:59:26,063 --> 00:59:27,939
You know what,
if I don't see a tit in five minutes,

1340
00:59:28,023 --> 00:59:29,315
I'm going to strangle this motherfucker.

1341
00:59:29,775 --> 00:59:33,319
You should be ashamed of yourself
for fucking arranging this bullshit!

1342
00:59:33,820 --> 00:59:35,363
Well, I feel very relaxed,

1343
00:59:35,447 --> 00:59:37,698
and I think this was
a good use of a Groupon.

1344
00:59:37,991 --> 00:59:39,533
You fucked us, buddy!

1345
00:59:40,202 --> 00:59:42,745
Five more minutes till you
get to choose amongst four

1346
00:59:42,829 --> 00:59:45,164
artisanal house-blended
chocolates, gentlemen.

1347
00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:48,626
We can't let tonight end like this, boys.

1348
00:59:48,710 --> 00:59:49,794
We got to go out.

1349
00:59:49,878 --> 00:59:52,004
I'm telling you, I can't let my son have a...

1350
00:59:52,172 --> 00:59:55,800
My son of a gun best friend
have his bachelor party be this.

1351
00:59:56,134 --> 00:59:58,970
You fucking... You guys got your
face covered in leprechaun shit.

1352
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:01,264
We should be getting whacked off,

1353
01:00:01,348 --> 01:00:03,349
all of us, as a fucking team!

1354
01:00:04,184 --> 01:00:07,186
Donny, I think
we've had enough excitement for one night.

1355
01:00:07,604 --> 01:00:10,481
Besides, it's not like you can throw
together a whole other party this late.

1356
01:00:10,565 --> 01:00:14,568
I could have six chicks making out
with each other on our laps in 1 0 minutes.

1357
01:00:15,404 --> 01:00:16,821
I could stay out a little later.

1358
01:00:17,447 --> 01:00:18,447
Bam!

1359
01:00:18,907 --> 01:00:21,575
We gonna get our dicks sucked.

1360
01:00:22,494 --> 01:00:23,536
There it is.

1361
01:00:23,662 --> 01:00:26,122
Unless, Mrs. Ravensdale,
you want to whip them knockers out?

1362
01:00:26,206 --> 01:00:27,248
We'd love to see them.

1363
01:00:27,374 --> 01:00:28,416
All right, you know what?

1364
01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:31,502
You are an imbecilic,
immature, asinine, childish,

1365
01:00:31,586 --> 01:00:34,130
caveman-like, hairy-knuckled,
single-chromosomal,

1366
01:00:34,214 --> 01:00:36,674
obnoxious, uneducated, ignorant asshole

1367
01:00:36,758 --> 01:00:39,552
who I would like to fuck hard and long!

1368
01:00:40,929 --> 01:00:42,305
So, I'm going to go put a dent in that.

1369
01:00:42,389 --> 01:00:43,973
You guys get that green jizz off your face.

1370
01:00:44,057 --> 01:00:45,141
I'll be back in 20.

1371
01:00:45,517 --> 01:00:46,600
We're going out, boys!

1372
01:00:47,185 --> 01:00:48,853
Hey, this is the shit,
this place, I'm telling you.

1373
01:00:48,937 --> 01:00:51,272
The hottest chicks, the best Denver omelets.

1374
01:00:51,356 --> 01:00:52,481
-You have to eat one.
-All right.

1375
01:00:52,566 --> 01:00:54,567
-Donny!
-Yeah, this is who I was telling you about!

1376
01:00:54,651 --> 01:00:56,152
-What's up? Give me that.
-I'm so happy to see you.

1377
01:00:56,236 --> 01:00:58,070
-You look so fucking cute!
-I know, right?

1378
01:00:58,905 --> 01:01:02,074
And you brought a military man.

1379
01:01:02,159 --> 01:01:03,743
What's your name, soldier?

1380
01:01:03,910 --> 01:01:06,412
Chad Martin, private first class,
United States Marine Corps.

1381
01:01:06,747 --> 01:01:09,874
You think you can keep that dick
at attention for a couple hours?

1382
01:01:09,958 --> 01:01:11,083
That's an order!

1383
01:01:12,210 --> 01:01:13,294
Already on it.

1384
01:01:14,129 --> 01:01:15,254
Look at my man!

1385
01:01:15,339 --> 01:01:17,631
You guys, let me get in here
and introduce myself.

1386
01:01:17,716 --> 01:01:19,842
Hello. I'm Phil.
I'm married with four children,

1387
01:01:19,926 --> 01:01:22,845
and I have actually
only seen three vaginas in my entire life:

1388
01:01:22,929 --> 01:01:24,138
my wife's, my baby's

1389
01:01:24,222 --> 01:01:27,350
and my aunt's once by accident
on the back of a tandem bike.

1390
01:01:27,809 --> 01:01:29,935
Well, here's number four, baby!

1391
01:01:30,896 --> 01:01:33,439
I'm going to count that
as numbers four and five.

1392
01:01:54,544 --> 01:01:56,712
ChampaIe wouId Iike to dedicate this

1393
01:01:56,797 --> 01:01:58,964
to Mr. Todd Peterson.

1394
01:02:00,717 --> 01:02:02,259
-Yeah, baby. Yeah.
-Here you go.

1395
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:04,762
Oh, hey.

1396
01:02:04,846 --> 01:02:05,930
Do you want any eggs?

1397
01:02:06,014 --> 01:02:08,307
No. I really have to watch what I eat.

1398
01:02:08,392 --> 01:02:10,017
No fatty foods. But thank you.

1399
01:02:10,268 --> 01:02:11,477
I'm Brie.

1400
01:02:11,561 --> 01:02:12,937
I'm Todd. Nice to meet you.

1401
01:02:13,021 --> 01:02:15,898
I know who you are, Han Solo.

1402
01:02:17,275 --> 01:02:18,484
No, you can't...

1403
01:02:18,568 --> 01:02:20,319
Don't worry, your secret's safe.

1404
01:02:52,269 --> 01:02:53,352
Who did that?

1405
01:03:26,094 --> 01:03:27,887
-Gerald, get in the car.
-I love you, Donny!

1406
01:03:27,971 --> 01:03:29,013
Yeah, I love you. Get in there.

1407
01:03:29,097 --> 01:03:30,514
Man, you got to give me the recipe, man.

1408
01:03:30,599 --> 01:03:32,141
Can't buy everything, Spirou!

1409
01:03:32,225 --> 01:03:33,809
Bro, but they use olive oil, not butter.

1410
01:03:33,894 --> 01:03:34,935
That's the big secret.

1411
01:03:35,020 --> 01:03:36,312
Okay, Chris, get him in there.

1412
01:03:36,396 --> 01:03:38,689
Be gentle, he's protecting our country.

1413
01:03:38,773 --> 01:03:39,857
All right, good night, guys!

1414
01:03:41,693 --> 01:03:43,986
Gerald, you're a sick man, buddy!

1415
01:03:44,154 --> 01:03:45,404
Whoa.

1416
01:03:45,530 --> 01:03:47,615
Hey, what... Where's everybody going?

1417
01:03:47,699 --> 01:03:49,241
I sent them home, guy.

1418
01:03:49,326 --> 01:03:51,410
I thought we could have a little

1419
01:03:51,495 --> 01:03:54,205
best man/groom alone time.

1420
01:03:54,664 --> 01:03:55,956
But shouldn't I go with them?

1421
01:03:56,041 --> 01:03:57,875
'Cause Jamie's gonna get mad at me.

1422
01:03:58,251 --> 01:03:59,376
Easy, guy.

1423
01:03:59,461 --> 01:04:03,589
You're gonna have plenty of time
for her to be mad at you when you're married.

1424
01:04:05,175 --> 01:04:08,135
I got you a wedding gift,
and I want to give it to you alone, all right?

1425
01:04:08,220 --> 01:04:09,261
You got me a gift?

1426
01:04:09,387 --> 01:04:10,638
Of course I got you.

1427
01:04:10,722 --> 01:04:13,224
And I think you might dig it.

1428
01:04:18,313 --> 01:04:19,355
An earring.

1429
01:04:19,814 --> 01:04:24,193
Yeah, I know, but that's an earring
that your mom gave me,

1430
01:04:24,277 --> 01:04:26,695
and I thought maybe we could
keep it in the family, you know?

1431
01:04:26,780 --> 01:04:30,032
Just kind of keep it going,
generation to generation, actually.

1432
01:04:32,035 --> 01:04:34,286
Yeah, but I don't have a pierced ear, Donny.

1433
01:04:35,121 --> 01:04:36,330
Yeah.

1434
01:04:37,624 --> 01:04:38,707
No.

1435
01:04:39,334 --> 01:04:40,543
Yeah.

1436
01:04:43,588 --> 01:04:44,755
All right, fuck it, fuck it.

1437
01:04:44,839 --> 01:04:46,048
Do it, just do it.

1438
01:04:46,675 --> 01:04:47,716
It's not gonna hurt, buddy.

1439
01:04:47,801 --> 01:04:49,051
You got a nice buzz going.

1440
01:04:49,135 --> 01:04:50,386
Yeah, I got it, I got it.

1441
01:04:50,470 --> 01:04:51,720
Hang on.

1442
01:04:52,013 --> 01:04:53,264
Yeah.

1443
01:04:53,348 --> 01:04:54,348
Liquor it up.

1444
01:04:54,432 --> 01:04:55,724
Fuck!

1445
01:04:55,809 --> 01:04:57,142
Come here. Come here.

1446
01:04:58,395 --> 01:05:00,229
Hang in there! Go ahead, just sit still, homie.

1447
01:05:02,482 --> 01:05:03,691
Yeah!

1448
01:05:05,527 --> 01:05:06,819
How we doing?

1449
01:05:07,195 --> 01:05:08,195
Oh, God.

1450
01:05:08,280 --> 01:05:10,155
That's it. That's the way to man up.

1451
01:05:10,699 --> 01:05:12,449
-That wasn't so bad.
-Let me see it.

1452
01:05:13,034 --> 01:05:14,660
Am I bleeding?

1453
01:05:16,621 --> 01:05:17,871
-I don't think so.
-No?

1454
01:05:18,331 --> 01:05:19,582
Does it look good?

1455
01:05:19,666 --> 01:05:22,418
You look like you could be playing
drums for Foreigner or some shit.

1456
01:05:22,502 --> 01:05:23,586
You look like a bad-ass.

1457
01:05:23,878 --> 01:05:25,421
-Really?
-Yeah.

1458
01:05:25,630 --> 01:05:27,923
'Cause it makes me feel kind of...

1459
01:05:28,883 --> 01:05:30,134
Dangerous.

1460
01:05:32,345 --> 01:05:33,554
There he is, man!

1461
01:05:33,638 --> 01:05:36,348
That's your personality,
like when you were seven years old,

1462
01:05:36,474 --> 01:05:39,685
me and Uncle Vanny used to
laugh our asses off from you.

1463
01:05:40,353 --> 01:05:42,146
Uncle Vanny, that's right.

1464
01:05:42,689 --> 01:05:43,939
What happened to that guy?

1465
01:05:44,608 --> 01:05:46,525
Dude, you know what it's time for?

1466
01:05:46,943 --> 01:05:49,737
To get you back together with the old gang.

1467
01:05:51,031 --> 01:05:52,281
Come on.

1468
01:05:52,365 --> 01:05:54,366
I just hope the guy will talk to me.

1469
01:05:54,826 --> 01:05:55,909
Phil!

1470
01:05:55,994 --> 01:05:58,203
Come on, you're gonna get arrested, buddy.

1471
01:05:58,913 --> 01:06:00,956
I shouldn't be doing this.

1472
01:06:01,833 --> 01:06:03,584
No, don't stop, don't stop.

1473
01:06:16,139 --> 01:06:18,891
All right, look.
I came here to tell you I'm sorry

1474
01:06:18,975 --> 01:06:21,393
about what happened
with me and your mother.

1475
01:06:21,936 --> 01:06:24,772
It was an accident,
and it will never happen again.

1476
01:06:26,650 --> 01:06:29,443
That's all I've been waiting for
all these years, man, a simple apology.

1477
01:06:29,527 --> 01:06:30,694
It's water under the bridge.

1478
01:06:30,779 --> 01:06:32,154
Don't sweat it. Holla.

1479
01:06:33,490 --> 01:06:35,407
Wait, are you Vanilla Ice?

1480
01:06:36,576 --> 01:06:38,869
Was Uncle Vanny Vanilla Ice this whole time?

1481
01:06:39,079 --> 01:06:40,162
Who did you think I was?

1482
01:06:40,246 --> 01:06:43,582
I don't know, a friend of my dad's
that wore a lot of parachute pants?

1483
01:06:44,417 --> 01:06:45,501
Man.

1484
01:06:45,585 --> 01:06:47,169
I want to be honest with you, too.

1485
01:06:47,504 --> 01:06:50,005
I never did knock boots with your mother.

1486
01:06:50,423 --> 01:06:51,507
-No?
-No.

1487
01:06:51,591 --> 01:06:53,175
I think she whacked me off outside the pants.

1488
01:06:53,802 --> 01:06:55,386
-No.
-But I didn't finish.

1489
01:06:55,470 --> 01:06:57,179
-Vanny, I didn't finish. I couldn't.
-Yeah?

1490
01:06:57,430 --> 01:06:59,139
-Mom.
-Yeah.

1491
01:06:59,224 --> 01:07:00,474
You know, she did like to fuck.

1492
01:07:00,934 --> 01:07:02,017
That's fucking... Look at him.

1493
01:07:02,102 --> 01:07:03,769
Back to it. Fuck, yeah.

1494
01:07:04,020 --> 01:07:05,479
Hey, Han Solo, you're looking great, man.

1495
01:07:05,563 --> 01:07:06,563
Thank you.

1496
01:07:06,648 --> 01:07:07,940
-You lost some weight.
-Is this kid all right?

1497
01:07:08,024 --> 01:07:09,817
-You're not a little fat kid no more.
-No, no, no.

1498
01:07:09,901 --> 01:07:11,026
-Remember this one?
-No, no.

1499
01:07:11,111 --> 01:07:12,653
Yeah, we used to do this to you all the time.

1500
01:07:12,737 --> 01:07:14,446
-Remember, back in the day?
-Hey, nugget pocket.

1501
01:07:14,531 --> 01:07:16,323
-Nugget pockets.
-No, I'm not a nugget pocket.

1502
01:07:16,408 --> 01:07:18,283
-What's up, nugget pocket?
-No.

1503
01:07:18,785 --> 01:07:20,077
No, but seriously, Iceberg,

1504
01:07:20,161 --> 01:07:21,870
me and my boy got a little head start on you,

1505
01:07:21,955 --> 01:07:24,581
but you got any desire
to get wasted with us?

1506
01:07:24,666 --> 01:07:26,417
More than life itself.

1507
01:07:26,501 --> 01:07:28,961
In fact, I might have
a little head start on you guys.

1508
01:07:29,963 --> 01:07:31,463
What?

1509
01:07:32,507 --> 01:07:34,049
-Yeah.
-It's so illegal.

1510
01:07:34,384 --> 01:07:36,176
I don't want to do that in front of my kid.

1511
01:07:36,261 --> 01:07:38,137
Turn around for a minute. Just turn around.

1512
01:07:38,388 --> 01:07:39,847
Give me that fucking shit.

1513
01:07:41,266 --> 01:07:42,599
What?

1514
01:07:43,810 --> 01:07:45,519
Hey, let's get out of here.

1515
01:07:45,603 --> 01:07:46,729
I did not do that.

1516
01:07:46,813 --> 01:07:48,731
-Let's go have some fun.
-Hey!

1517
01:07:49,107 --> 01:07:51,150
Hey, where you think you're going,
Mr. Vanilla Ice Cream?

1518
01:07:51,484 --> 01:07:52,735
I'm going out for the night, man.

1519
01:07:52,819 --> 01:07:55,738
Hell no, man! You know I don't know
how to fry no damn chicken nuggets!

1520
01:07:55,822 --> 01:07:56,864
It's Todd Bridges.

1521
01:07:56,948 --> 01:07:58,449
Yeah, yeah, watch this.

1522
01:07:58,533 --> 01:08:00,033
What you talking 'bout, Willis?

1523
01:08:00,201 --> 01:08:01,577
You come back and say that to my face,

1524
01:08:01,661 --> 01:08:03,328
you fake white rapping motherfucker!

1525
01:08:03,538 --> 01:08:04,830
Todd, seriously, though, you look great.

1526
01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:06,582
How's Mr. Drummond doing, huh?

1527
01:08:07,542 --> 01:08:09,084
Mister... Fuck you!

1528
01:08:09,169 --> 01:08:10,544
"Mr. Drummond. Mister..."

1529
01:08:11,337 --> 01:08:13,130
Man, I... What you want?

1530
01:08:13,214 --> 01:08:14,298
Bowl of chili nuggets.

1531
01:08:14,382 --> 01:08:15,382
A what?

1532
01:08:15,467 --> 01:08:17,509
You know, that shit ain't on the menu, man!

1533
01:08:19,095 --> 01:08:20,763
Shit, it is. Damn it.

1534
01:08:21,514 --> 01:08:23,891
Fucking skate! Just fucking skate!

1535
01:08:24,517 --> 01:08:25,934
The Berger boys are here!

1536
01:08:26,019 --> 01:08:27,686
Come on, look out! Look out, now!

1537
01:08:27,771 --> 01:08:28,937
What the fuck?

1538
01:08:32,567 --> 01:08:35,194
Hey! Give me my hat back!

1539
01:08:37,197 --> 01:08:38,989
-Do it, do it!
-Give it back!

1540
01:08:41,367 --> 01:08:43,869
Hey, it's a fucking lovely night, ain't it?

1541
01:08:43,953 --> 01:08:45,078
Oh, my God!

1542
01:08:47,332 --> 01:08:49,166
You fucking assholes!

1543
01:08:55,548 --> 01:08:56,715
Go, go!

1544
01:09:00,470 --> 01:09:01,553
What the... Go!

1545
01:09:02,222 --> 01:09:03,347
Go, go, go!

1546
01:09:03,431 --> 01:09:05,057
What the fuck? Get out of here!

1547
01:09:05,809 --> 01:09:06,892
Holy shit!

1548
01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:12,731
You know, they seem like fun guys.

1549
01:09:14,317 --> 01:09:15,818
We're all gonna dive! Let's go!

1550
01:09:16,986 --> 01:09:18,070
What are you doing?

1551
01:09:26,579 --> 01:09:27,871
Oh, my God!

1552
01:09:27,956 --> 01:09:30,082
I didn't... I didn't spill my beer!

1553
01:09:30,166 --> 01:09:31,500
I fucking love it.

1554
01:09:32,919 --> 01:09:34,628
-Fuck!
-You fucking hard-ons!

1555
01:09:49,686 --> 01:09:51,311
"You fucking hard-ons."

1556
01:09:58,736 --> 01:09:59,903
Fucking...

1557
01:10:00,613 --> 01:10:03,156
-What are you doing?
-No, no, no, no!

1558
01:10:05,952 --> 01:10:08,954
-You don't fucking do that, you fucking idiot!
-Yeah!

1559
01:10:09,998 --> 01:10:11,832
Look at this, fuck face. Look at this.

1560
01:10:12,625 --> 01:10:14,209
What the fuck?

1561
01:10:14,794 --> 01:10:15,794
Come on.

1562
01:10:15,879 --> 01:10:17,796
-You fucking guy. I say, take it.
-I can't.

1563
01:10:17,881 --> 01:10:18,881
-Just go, go, go, go, go.
-No, wait, wait.

1564
01:10:18,965 --> 01:10:20,215
Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop.

1565
01:10:20,300 --> 01:10:22,593
I changed my mind. I'm scared.
I don't want to do it.

1566
01:10:22,677 --> 01:10:24,052
-Oh, man.
-I can't do it.

1567
01:10:24,470 --> 01:10:25,929
You're rubbing your underwear.

1568
01:10:26,264 --> 01:10:28,056
What is that? Why are you doing that?

1569
01:10:28,266 --> 01:10:30,017
I suppose I'm the reason.

1570
01:10:30,310 --> 01:10:32,686
Yeah. Yeah. Remember in first grade

1571
01:10:32,770 --> 01:10:34,271
when you were supposed
to pick me up after school,

1572
01:10:34,355 --> 01:10:35,814
you left me waiting for five hours?

1573
01:10:35,899 --> 01:10:38,358
I had detention myself, guy.

1574
01:10:38,443 --> 01:10:39,985
What the fuck was I supposed to do?

1575
01:10:40,278 --> 01:10:42,738
-Yeah, well, I shit in my pants.
-All right.

1576
01:10:42,822 --> 01:10:45,407
-Then I had to walk all the way home alone.
-All right.

1577
01:10:45,491 --> 01:10:46,617
With shit in my pants.

1578
01:10:46,743 --> 01:10:49,661
Dude, I promise you,
I'll never forget you again.

1579
01:10:49,787 --> 01:10:51,121
I swear to God.

1580
01:10:51,205 --> 01:10:52,289
Throw the fucking things away.

1581
01:10:52,373 --> 01:10:54,374
-Don't fuck with me.
-Throw them away.

1582
01:10:55,376 --> 01:10:58,670
Throw them away. Throw them away.

1583
01:10:58,755 --> 01:11:00,631
Get rid of the fucking underwear,
you don't need that.

1584
01:11:00,715 --> 01:11:02,007
You're better than that, guy.

1585
01:11:02,467 --> 01:11:03,967
Okay, fuck it. Okay, fuck it.

1586
01:11:04,344 --> 01:11:06,094
Squeeze it out and fucking... Yeah.

1587
01:11:09,641 --> 01:11:10,766
You're a good kid.

1588
01:11:10,850 --> 01:11:13,602
Come on, fucking hit this thing
and let's get it rocking.

1589
01:11:14,103 --> 01:11:15,395
-All right. All right?
-Here we go.

1590
01:11:15,480 --> 01:11:17,064
-Come on. Push, push. I got you.
-Okay.

1591
01:11:17,148 --> 01:11:18,774
-I'm not good at it.
-All right.

1592
01:11:18,858 --> 01:11:20,108
It's balance, it's just balance.

1593
01:11:20,193 --> 01:11:21,735
You got this, kid. You're an athlete.

1594
01:11:21,819 --> 01:11:23,737
You got it. No, it's in you, buddy.

1595
01:11:23,821 --> 01:11:24,821
-Straight.
-I don't know how.

1596
01:11:24,906 --> 01:11:26,073
I got you. I ain't gonna let you fall.

1597
01:11:26,157 --> 01:11:27,783
-Don't let me go.
-I won't let you fall.

1598
01:11:27,867 --> 01:11:29,117
-Don't let go.
-All right, I'm still with you.

1599
01:11:29,202 --> 01:11:30,160
-Okay.
-I'm still with you.

1600
01:11:30,244 --> 01:11:32,371
Let's pick up some speed, though.
I'm with you, guy.

1601
01:11:32,455 --> 01:11:33,747
I'm with you. I'm with you.

1602
01:11:33,831 --> 01:11:34,957
-I'm not letting go.
-Don't let me go.

1603
01:11:35,041 --> 01:11:37,167
I'm not letting go. I'm with you, my boy.

1604
01:11:37,251 --> 01:11:38,794
-Wait...
-I'm with you, my boy!

1605
01:11:38,878 --> 01:11:41,296
-Yeah, that's all you!
-I'm doing it!

1606
01:11:41,673 --> 01:11:43,674
-Yeah! Yeah, yeah, baby!
-I'm doing it!

1607
01:11:45,009 --> 01:11:46,551
Oh, my God!

1608
01:11:49,138 --> 01:11:50,263
Are you...

1609
01:11:50,348 --> 01:11:51,348
Kid, are you...

1610
01:11:51,432 --> 01:11:52,766
Are you all right, buddy?

1611
01:11:52,976 --> 01:11:54,142
Sorry.

1612
01:11:54,227 --> 01:11:56,103
-Dude, I'm trying to make love to my wife!
-What the fuck?

1613
01:11:56,187 --> 01:11:57,938
-No!
-Fucking naked people.

1614
01:11:58,022 --> 01:11:59,606
I'm gonna fucking kill you!

1615
01:11:59,691 --> 01:12:00,983
Oh, my God, they're chasing me!

1616
01:12:01,067 --> 01:12:02,359
What the fuck? Get off him!

1617
01:12:02,610 --> 01:12:03,610
Go!

1618
01:12:03,695 --> 01:12:04,903
-Oh, my God! Look out!
-Go!

1619
01:12:06,698 --> 01:12:08,073
Keep going, guy!

1620
01:12:08,157 --> 01:12:09,616
Donny!

1621
01:12:11,577 --> 01:12:12,786
-Yeah!
-You're the best.

1622
01:12:12,870 --> 01:12:14,079
-You are, Jay.
-Good luck!

1623
01:12:14,163 --> 01:12:15,580
I like your fucking hairdo!

1624
01:12:15,665 --> 01:12:18,125
Good luck with the taxi business!

1625
01:12:18,209 --> 01:12:20,210
-Love that guy.
-Classic. Classic.

1626
01:12:20,461 --> 01:12:21,753
Classic.

1627
01:12:21,838 --> 01:12:23,213
It's a classic night.

1628
01:12:23,297 --> 01:12:25,924
No way! Party's not over!

1629
01:12:26,342 --> 01:12:27,718
Come on!

1630
01:12:30,513 --> 01:12:31,972
Dude, Uncle Vanny's fucked up.

1631
01:12:34,267 --> 01:12:35,600
I love you, son.

1632
01:12:40,189 --> 01:12:41,231
I do.

1633
01:12:41,315 --> 01:12:42,607
I've always loved you, all right?

1634
01:12:44,444 --> 01:12:46,111
Sorry to spring that on you like that.

1635
01:12:46,529 --> 01:12:47,529
It's all right.

1636
01:12:47,613 --> 01:12:49,656
It's cool, Donny. That's nice, thank you.

1637
01:12:49,741 --> 01:12:51,116
Hansie, Hansie.

1638
01:12:52,243 --> 01:12:55,871
Why don't you not call me
"Donny" when no one's around.

1639
01:12:55,955 --> 01:12:57,497
You can call me "Dad."

1640
01:12:58,791 --> 01:13:00,125
Yeah, I know, I know.

1641
01:13:00,209 --> 01:13:01,418
It's...

1642
01:13:02,795 --> 01:13:04,880
I don't know if I'm ready for that, Donny.

1643
01:13:04,964 --> 01:13:06,298
-You know?
-Yeah, yeah.

1644
01:13:08,092 --> 01:13:09,134
No prob.

1645
01:13:22,732 --> 01:13:23,899
Sorry.

1646
01:13:24,317 --> 01:13:26,985
Sorry if you fucking don't like me.

1647
01:13:31,491 --> 01:13:34,451
I probably would've fucked my teacher, too.

1648
01:13:37,580 --> 01:13:38,955
Yeah.

1649
01:13:39,415 --> 01:13:40,749
But...

1650
01:13:51,594 --> 01:13:54,513
So, what time are we gonna
go to the prison tomorrow?

1651
01:13:56,057 --> 01:13:58,141
Wait, you'll go to the prison?

1652
01:13:58,684 --> 01:14:00,352
Yeah, I'll go.

1653
01:14:01,896 --> 01:14:03,647
No. No, no, no, no, no.

1654
01:14:03,731 --> 01:14:06,233
That's... They canceled that.

1655
01:14:06,317 --> 01:14:12,322
I talked to the warden, and he says
that your mother was just pulling our leg.

1656
01:14:12,406 --> 01:14:14,199
She's only got the chicken pox.

1657
01:14:14,867 --> 01:14:16,952
-What?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

1658
01:14:17,036 --> 01:14:18,954
She said she was dying because

1659
01:14:19,038 --> 01:14:21,790
they give you better food
if you're wicked sick like that,

1660
01:14:21,874 --> 01:14:26,211
like Beefaroni or microwave pizza
or some shit, so...

1661
01:14:27,713 --> 01:14:29,297
That just made me hungry.

1662
01:14:29,924 --> 01:14:31,508
Well, check your pockets.

1663
01:14:38,057 --> 01:14:39,432
A treasure!

1664
01:14:39,934 --> 01:14:40,976
Come on, eat it.

1665
01:14:41,060 --> 01:14:42,602
-No, it's nasty.
-Come on, I'm telling you.

1666
01:14:42,687 --> 01:14:44,646
Fucking Todd Bridges
worked hard on that thing.

1667
01:14:44,730 --> 01:14:46,481
Yeah. You like that.

1668
01:14:46,566 --> 01:14:47,607
Pretty good.

1669
01:14:48,985 --> 01:14:51,486
Look at me, I'm a fountain!

1670
01:14:51,571 --> 01:14:52,946
Throw a penny in here!

1671
01:14:53,030 --> 01:14:55,031
Make a wish, motherfucker!

1672
01:15:12,216 --> 01:15:13,592
What the...

1673
01:15:13,718 --> 01:15:16,261
Grandma D, what's going on?
What are you doing here?

1674
01:15:16,512 --> 01:15:18,597
Well, you've had the fantasy,

1675
01:15:19,432 --> 01:15:22,601
so now it's time that you try the real thing.

1676
01:15:26,856 --> 01:15:29,107
No, no, no, I can't do that.

1677
01:15:29,192 --> 01:15:30,525
I'm sorry.

1678
01:15:30,610 --> 01:15:32,194
I appreciate the offer.

1679
01:15:33,362 --> 01:15:34,821
No, no, no, don't.

1680
01:15:34,906 --> 01:15:37,365
I can't. Don't you... I shouldn't.

1681
01:15:39,285 --> 01:15:41,578
Oh, God.

1682
01:15:42,371 --> 01:15:44,706
You got the old-timey bathing suit on.

1683
01:15:47,585 --> 01:15:48,877
Okay, I'm in.

1684
01:15:49,962 --> 01:15:53,715
I'm going to ride you like a Model T.

1685
01:16:00,890 --> 01:16:02,349
Yeah.

1686
01:16:11,692 --> 01:16:13,235
Jamie.

1687
01:16:14,195 --> 01:16:16,154
You're wearing your dress again.

1688
01:16:17,365 --> 01:16:19,282
You look beautiful.

1689
01:16:20,284 --> 01:16:21,952
I want you so bad.

1690
01:16:22,703 --> 01:16:24,204
Be nice to me.

1691
01:16:24,664 --> 01:16:26,498
Make me feel good.

1692
01:16:31,337 --> 01:16:33,171
All right, all right.

1693
01:16:33,506 --> 01:16:36,758
Okay, okay, okay, okay.

1694
01:16:49,397 --> 01:16:51,356
Oh, my God!

1695
01:16:51,732 --> 01:16:52,899
Help me!

1696
01:16:54,110 --> 01:16:55,110
What happened?

1697
01:16:55,194 --> 01:16:56,236
Are you okay?

1698
01:16:56,654 --> 01:16:58,280
Do I sound okay?

1699
01:16:58,572 --> 01:17:01,074
You puked all over my wedding dress!

1700
01:17:01,826 --> 01:17:03,535
Prepare to get fucked up, motherfuckers!

1701
01:17:05,329 --> 01:17:07,539
Sorry, I heard you scream.

1702
01:17:07,623 --> 01:17:09,457
I thought Jamie was getting murdered,

1703
01:17:09,542 --> 01:17:11,418
so I was gonna fucking
smack someone around.

1704
01:17:11,877 --> 01:17:13,461
-What happened?
-I don't know!

1705
01:17:13,838 --> 01:17:16,298
I just found my wedding dress
covered in barf!

1706
01:17:16,382 --> 01:17:19,676
And something else, something sticky.

1707
01:17:38,154 --> 01:17:39,237
It's jizz.

1708
01:17:41,115 --> 01:17:43,950
You puked on my dress and then fucked it!

1709
01:17:45,911 --> 01:17:47,829
You're a madman.

1710
01:17:47,913 --> 01:17:49,664
No, no, no, no. No.

1711
01:17:49,957 --> 01:17:51,583
-Sweetheart, it wasn't my boy.
-You shut up.

1712
01:17:51,667 --> 01:17:52,709
Donny, just shut up!

1713
01:17:52,793 --> 01:17:54,127
Who wants a piece of this, huh?

1714
01:17:54,211 --> 01:17:55,920
-Who wants a piece?
-Whoa, no, no, no!

1715
01:17:56,088 --> 01:17:57,172
It's okay, buddy.

1716
01:17:57,256 --> 01:17:58,923
Todd just fucked the dress.

1717
01:17:59,342 --> 01:18:00,467
It's under control.

1718
01:18:01,594 --> 01:18:03,345
What is Vanilla Ice doing in our room?

1719
01:18:04,430 --> 01:18:07,766
He's my other best friend.

1720
01:18:08,100 --> 01:18:09,601
Yeah. And a wicked good rapper.

1721
01:18:09,685 --> 01:18:11,394
Give it up for him. Come on, now.

1722
01:18:11,771 --> 01:18:13,813
-Let's give it up.
-My boy.

1723
01:18:14,065 --> 01:18:15,065
I don't know what's going on here,

1724
01:18:15,149 --> 01:18:16,608
but I don't have time to deal with this, so...

1725
01:18:17,568 --> 01:18:19,235
Okay, this is what's gonna happen.

1726
01:18:19,320 --> 01:18:21,321
I'm gonna go take a shower.
I'm gonna go to Pilates.

1727
01:18:21,405 --> 01:18:23,323
You're gonna take that dress
to the dry cleaners!

1728
01:18:23,407 --> 01:18:25,116
And then we're gonna have
rehearsal dinner tonight,

1729
01:18:25,201 --> 01:18:27,118
and you're gonna be
the normal Todd from three days ago, right?

1730
01:18:27,411 --> 01:18:30,789
And you can start by taking out
that stupid Duran Duran earring!

1731
01:18:31,123 --> 01:18:32,457
I was thinking it's more Foreigner.

1732
01:18:32,541 --> 01:18:34,876
No? No, no,
Duran Duran's a good call, though.

1733
01:18:39,131 --> 01:18:41,341
Guess I'm gonna go
finish up with Grandma Delores.

1734
01:18:41,425 --> 01:18:42,467
-Yeah.
-Is that all right?

1735
01:18:42,551 --> 01:18:43,593
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Have fun, buddy. Have fun.

1736
01:18:43,677 --> 01:18:44,803
Not too much, though. Don't hurt her.

1737
01:18:44,887 --> 01:18:46,262
No, no. I get it right and keep it tight.

1738
01:18:46,347 --> 01:18:47,764
Okay.

1739
01:18:48,808 --> 01:18:50,809
Look, I need a couple hours to fix this.

1740
01:18:50,893 --> 01:18:54,396
Hey, we've all been in that situation,
and you'll be fine, kid.

1741
01:18:54,688 --> 01:18:57,107
I'll whip up some pancakes
for everyone else, all right?

1742
01:18:57,191 --> 01:18:58,525
-All right.
-I love it.

1743
01:19:00,569 --> 01:19:02,570
You jizzed on a mannequin.

1744
01:19:02,655 --> 01:19:03,863
Respect it.

1745
01:19:05,658 --> 01:19:07,826
But you were only 1 3.

1746
01:19:08,327 --> 01:19:09,911
She took advantage of you.

1747
01:19:09,995 --> 01:19:12,580
No, all right.
That's what the law says, Su-Jin,

1748
01:19:12,832 --> 01:19:15,417
but I don't know...
We were kind of like soul mates.

1749
01:19:15,501 --> 01:19:17,127
You know, there was...
There was a connection there.

1750
01:19:17,211 --> 01:19:18,711
I never had it with anyone else.

1751
01:19:19,255 --> 01:19:20,964
I'm getting a call. I'm sorry, guys.

1752
01:19:21,048 --> 01:19:23,049
Do not touch these plates. I'm cleaning them.

1753
01:19:23,134 --> 01:19:24,134
Okay, Su-Jin?

1754
01:19:25,177 --> 01:19:26,261
Go for Donny B.

1755
01:19:26,637 --> 01:19:28,012
Wassup!

1756
01:19:28,472 --> 01:19:31,141
Hey, big man. What's going on?

1757
01:19:31,225 --> 01:19:32,225
How'd it go with the lady?

1758
01:19:32,309 --> 01:19:33,810
You patch things up?

1759
01:19:34,186 --> 01:19:35,687
Yeah, pretty much. It was amazing.

1760
01:19:35,771 --> 01:19:39,607
The dry cleaner said they've
definitely seen that combo of fluid before.

1761
01:19:39,692 --> 01:19:42,735
You see? Yeah, those things
go together like gin and tonic.

1762
01:19:43,404 --> 01:19:45,113
Hey, listen, while l got you,

1763
01:19:45,197 --> 01:19:47,490
I left you a little
best man gift on your dresser.

1764
01:19:47,575 --> 01:19:48,825
I think you'll get a kick out of it.

1765
01:19:49,118 --> 01:19:51,453
You did not. Oh, my God.

1766
01:19:51,537 --> 01:19:54,581
My whole body, like,
got a shocked feeling over that.

1767
01:19:54,665 --> 01:19:56,124
Buddy, no one gets me a gift.

1768
01:19:56,333 --> 01:19:58,293
-Where are you, anyways?
-I'm in the car.

1769
01:19:58,377 --> 01:20:00,295
I decided to go see Mom after all.

1770
01:20:01,380 --> 01:20:02,422
You did what?

1771
01:20:03,966 --> 01:20:05,341
Oh, my God. Dukes ofHazzard!

1772
01:20:24,069 --> 01:20:25,320
Hansie.

1773
01:20:25,404 --> 01:20:27,071
Donny, what are you doing here?

1774
01:20:27,156 --> 01:20:28,740
We got to get out of here now.

1775
01:20:29,033 --> 01:20:30,325
What? What are you talking about?

1776
01:20:30,409 --> 01:20:31,826
It's your wedding weekend, dude.

1777
01:20:31,911 --> 01:20:32,869
You come here after the wedding.

1778
01:20:32,953 --> 01:20:34,162
You show your mother your new ring.

1779
01:20:34,246 --> 01:20:35,622
That would make her happy.

1780
01:20:35,915 --> 01:20:37,749
Wait, are you nervous to see her?

1781
01:20:37,958 --> 01:20:41,628
Hansie, can we just blow this place off
and have a beer, please? I'm begging you.

1782
01:20:41,712 --> 01:20:42,795
Look. Is that her?

1783
01:21:12,117 --> 01:21:13,785
Oh, my God.

1784
01:21:14,370 --> 01:21:15,870
There you are.

1785
01:21:16,747 --> 01:21:19,541
My little Hansie, you're all grown up.

1786
01:21:20,209 --> 01:21:21,292
Hi, Mom.

1787
01:21:21,669 --> 01:21:23,419
I didn't know if I'd ever see you again.

1788
01:21:23,837 --> 01:21:25,463
I know. I'm sorry I stopped visiting.

1789
01:21:25,548 --> 01:21:26,548
It just got too hard.

1790
01:21:26,632 --> 01:21:28,800
No, I totally understand.

1791
01:21:29,969 --> 01:21:31,302
Wow.

1792
01:21:31,470 --> 01:21:32,679
You still have my eyes.

1793
01:21:34,014 --> 01:21:38,142
Is that the earring
that I gave you after the Loverboy concert?

1794
01:21:41,355 --> 01:21:43,398
Yes, it is, Miss McGarricle.

1795
01:21:43,649 --> 01:21:46,401
You know, I think about you every day.

1796
01:21:46,485 --> 01:21:49,487
Fuck, I love you so much, Miss McGarricle.
I never stopped.

1797
01:21:50,197 --> 01:21:51,823
I love you, too.

1798
01:21:53,450 --> 01:21:54,576
Do you remember...

1799
01:21:55,160 --> 01:21:56,160
Oh, God, here we go.

1800
01:21:56,662 --> 01:22:00,707
...all the nasty things
that I taught you, Donny?

1801
01:22:02,376 --> 01:22:04,836
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Of course I do, Miss McGarricle.

1802
01:22:05,170 --> 01:22:07,797
Are you still my dirty boy?

1803
01:22:08,716 --> 01:22:12,677
Yeah, I'm the dirtiest boy
you'll ever know, Miss McGarricle.

1804
01:22:13,470 --> 01:22:14,637
Donny.

1805
01:22:16,515 --> 01:22:17,807
Oh, fuck, yeah.

1806
01:22:24,356 --> 01:22:26,858
I'm hard right now. I'm hard.

1807
01:22:27,359 --> 01:22:29,611
Okay. Yeah, I'm hating that, so...

1808
01:22:30,487 --> 01:22:33,114
But it is really good to see you, Mom. I...

1809
01:22:33,198 --> 01:22:34,365
It's good to see you, too, baby.

1810
01:22:35,200 --> 01:22:37,994
Can you describe
what you're feeling right now, Han?

1811
01:22:38,370 --> 01:22:39,996
TV's Randall Morgan?

1812
01:22:40,706 --> 01:22:42,165
What are you doing here?

1813
01:22:42,249 --> 01:22:45,293
Must be quite emotional
for you to be face-to-face

1814
01:22:45,377 --> 01:22:47,795
with the woman
who molested your father, isn't it?

1815
01:22:48,088 --> 01:22:50,381
-What is going on right now?
-Who is this dude?

1816
01:22:50,466 --> 01:22:52,342
Listen, before you get mad at me...

1817
01:22:52,426 --> 01:22:54,093
This is why you came to see me?

1818
01:22:54,428 --> 01:22:56,304
For some reality TV ambush?

1819
01:22:56,388 --> 01:22:58,181
-No.
-How much they paying you, Donny?

1820
01:22:58,265 --> 01:22:59,849
Nothing, I swear to God. I'm not getting...

1821
01:22:59,933 --> 01:23:03,394
Fifty thousand dollars
to deliver you to this prison.

1822
01:23:03,729 --> 01:23:06,230
All right, it was 50 grand, but I'm not...
I'm not...

1823
01:23:06,315 --> 01:23:07,857
I'm not going to do it. I swear to God.

1824
01:23:07,941 --> 01:23:09,400
I'm not... I would never take his money.

1825
01:23:09,485 --> 01:23:10,693
Donny Berger, what have you done?

1826
01:23:10,986 --> 01:23:12,403
Hansie, dude, it's me.

1827
01:23:12,738 --> 01:23:13,988
It's the guy from last night.

1828
01:23:14,073 --> 01:23:15,406
We had fun. Don't fuck it.

1829
01:23:15,491 --> 01:23:16,574
I'm telling you, this is...

1830
01:23:16,659 --> 01:23:17,742
This is something that can be fixed.

1831
01:23:18,077 --> 01:23:19,369
-You're unreal.
-Hansie.

1832
01:23:20,412 --> 01:23:21,412
What...

1833
01:23:21,497 --> 01:23:23,998
You go after him, Donny,
and you take care of our son.

1834
01:23:24,333 --> 01:23:27,168
-Hansie.
-Come on, he is pissed. Fuck!

1835
01:23:27,503 --> 01:23:29,629
-Take care of our baby, Donny!
-Hansie!

1836
01:23:30,005 --> 01:23:31,839
Hansie, please, let me explain to you...

1837
01:23:31,924 --> 01:23:33,800
I can't believe I let you
back into my life again.

1838
01:23:33,926 --> 01:23:36,177
Guy, guy, just come on. Listen to me.

1839
01:23:36,553 --> 01:23:38,346
I owe the IRS a lot of money.

1840
01:23:38,430 --> 01:23:40,682
-Of course you do.
-I know, I know. I'm a fuck-up.

1841
01:23:40,766 --> 01:23:43,935
But if I don't give them 43 G's by Tuesday,
I'm going to prison.

1842
01:23:44,269 --> 01:23:46,020
Wait, so you're telling me,

1843
01:23:46,105 --> 01:23:48,398
if I give you 43 grand,
you don't have to go to jail?

1844
01:23:49,650 --> 01:23:51,609
I will pay you back, I swear to God.

1845
01:23:51,694 --> 01:23:53,111
Would you loan me the money?

1846
01:23:53,278 --> 01:23:54,862
No! Fuck you!

1847
01:23:54,947 --> 01:23:56,989
-Get your shit out of my boss's house!
-Okay!

1848
01:23:58,033 --> 01:23:59,325
No! Don't do that.

1849
01:23:59,410 --> 01:24:01,369
That's my boy there.

1850
01:24:03,414 --> 01:24:04,580
No.

1851
01:24:04,665 --> 01:24:06,374
I think he just shit his pants.

1852
01:24:06,458 --> 01:24:08,126
Tell me you got that on camera.

1853
01:24:08,419 --> 01:24:10,378
You made me throw out my extra underwear!

1854
01:24:10,462 --> 01:24:13,631
I'm sorry. I didn't know
you were going to shit yourself again.

1855
01:24:13,882 --> 01:24:16,676
That was awesome.

1856
01:24:17,010 --> 01:24:19,262
Donny, couldn't have gone any better.
Loved it.

1857
01:24:19,346 --> 01:24:21,097
You know what I need from you, Todd,
is I need you

1858
01:24:21,181 --> 01:24:23,474
-to sign the release form right...
-Fuck you!

1859
01:24:24,309 --> 01:24:25,393
Get away from me!

1860
01:24:25,477 --> 01:24:26,978
Get those cameras off me!

1861
01:24:28,772 --> 01:24:31,482
I hate you, Dad.

1862
01:24:35,404 --> 01:24:36,779
Hansie!

1863
01:24:37,531 --> 01:24:40,658
I can't pay you a dime
unless I got a release form.

1864
01:24:41,452 --> 01:24:42,869
Fuck.

1865
01:24:42,953 --> 01:24:44,495
Did I get any shit on me?

1866
01:25:13,358 --> 01:25:16,027
Let me off here. Let me off.
Let me get off. I'll fucking run up.

1867
01:25:16,361 --> 01:25:17,570
Keep it running.

1868
01:25:17,654 --> 01:25:19,030
I got to pick my shit up.

1869
01:25:39,718 --> 01:25:41,219
You're so adorable.

1870
01:25:42,179 --> 01:25:44,430
No, I know, but I told you
not to call me on this line.

1871
01:25:44,515 --> 01:25:46,015
What if Todd picks up?

1872
01:25:48,018 --> 01:25:50,645
No, no, no, I want to.

1873
01:25:52,523 --> 01:25:53,689
No, Steve.

1874
01:25:53,774 --> 01:25:55,399
Todd doesn't know anything.

1875
01:25:55,567 --> 01:25:58,069
I don't care if he finds out after the wedding.

1876
01:25:58,195 --> 01:25:59,570
There's nothing he can do
about it then anyway.

1877
01:26:00,739 --> 01:26:02,156
You're so sweet.

1878
01:26:02,241 --> 01:26:03,866
Steve, huh?

1879
01:26:04,993 --> 01:26:08,454
Well, Steve Spirou, I'm going to fuck you up.

1880
01:26:09,206 --> 01:26:12,250
I'm going to fuck you up!

1881
01:26:14,962 --> 01:26:17,004
Well, I got some great news.

1882
01:26:17,256 --> 01:26:19,590
I've made my decision
on who my new partner is.

1883
01:26:21,927 --> 01:26:23,219
Phil!

1884
01:26:23,303 --> 01:26:25,221
Phil, I knew you could do it.

1885
01:26:25,305 --> 01:26:26,764
Look at Phil's face.

1886
01:26:26,849 --> 01:26:29,267
I'm just busting your balls, Phil.

1887
01:26:29,351 --> 01:26:31,018
No, I'd never pick you.

1888
01:26:31,103 --> 01:26:32,311
Oh, no.

1889
01:26:32,437 --> 01:26:34,939
It's you, Todd. Partners.

1890
01:26:36,233 --> 01:26:37,358
Partner.

1891
01:26:37,442 --> 01:26:38,401
Oh, my gosh.

1892
01:26:38,485 --> 01:26:40,778
It's going to be a lot more hours
and a lot more responsibility.

1893
01:26:40,863 --> 01:26:42,029
You know that, right?

1894
01:26:42,114 --> 01:26:44,448
And a lot more money!

1895
01:26:48,287 --> 01:26:49,996
-Somebody's going shopping!
-Yeah!

1896
01:26:51,999 --> 01:26:53,291
I thought he left.

1897
01:26:53,375 --> 01:26:55,042
Yeah, that's what you wish, Steve.

1898
01:26:55,127 --> 01:26:57,169
I need to talk to you, homeboy. Yeah.

1899
01:26:57,254 --> 01:26:58,296
Hey, Jamie.

1900
01:26:58,964 --> 01:27:00,006
Listen. Listen.

1901
01:27:00,090 --> 01:27:02,925
Dude, this is not about you and me, all right?

1902
01:27:03,468 --> 01:27:04,969
You're not marrying the right girl.

1903
01:27:05,053 --> 01:27:06,137
She is cheating on you.

1904
01:27:06,722 --> 01:27:08,055
You are unbelievable.

1905
01:27:08,140 --> 01:27:09,223
Can't you just let it go?

1906
01:27:09,308 --> 01:27:10,558
This is my last chance to be normal.

1907
01:27:10,642 --> 01:27:11,934
Are you determined to ruin my life?

1908
01:27:12,644 --> 01:27:14,395
-Honey, what's going on?
-Nothing.

1909
01:27:14,479 --> 01:27:16,814
Don't "honey" him,
you little snake in the grass.

1910
01:27:17,190 --> 01:27:18,691
I heard your phone call.

1911
01:27:18,775 --> 01:27:21,694
"Steve, why'd you call on this line?

1912
01:27:21,778 --> 01:27:23,154
"Todd could have picked up."

1913
01:27:23,405 --> 01:27:24,447
That's right, sonny boy.

1914
01:27:24,531 --> 01:27:26,407
Your wife-to-be's fucking your boss.

1915
01:27:26,700 --> 01:27:27,783
Right there.

1916
01:27:28,160 --> 01:27:29,243
Fuck you, buddy.

1917
01:27:29,494 --> 01:27:31,370
You are an idiot!

1918
01:27:31,455 --> 01:27:32,580
Is that right, sweetheart?

1919
01:27:32,664 --> 01:27:34,081
-Yes, it is.
-Yeah, yeah. Why?

1920
01:27:34,166 --> 01:27:36,500
I was on the phone with Steve.

1921
01:27:36,793 --> 01:27:40,838
Steve Goldstein,
the Boston HeraId wedding reporter.

1922
01:27:41,173 --> 01:27:44,091
Yeah, he's doing a piece on
the most beautiful places to get married,

1923
01:27:44,176 --> 01:27:46,677
and I didn't want Todd to know
because he doesn't like being in the paper.

1924
01:27:46,803 --> 01:27:49,889
So, I am sorry
that I wanted everyone in the world

1925
01:27:49,973 --> 01:27:51,933
to know I married the perfect guy.

1926
01:27:52,017 --> 01:27:56,187
Honey, do you think you can forgive me
for keeping such a big secret from you?

1927
01:27:58,774 --> 01:28:02,193
Okay, due to this newfound evidence,

1928
01:28:03,195 --> 01:28:06,155
the conclusion might be that I'm an asshole.

1929
01:28:07,199 --> 01:28:08,282
Bye.

1930
01:28:10,369 --> 01:28:11,953
Fine.

1931
01:28:12,037 --> 01:28:13,162
Have a good wedding.

1932
01:28:15,332 --> 01:28:16,874
I'll leave with pride.

1933
01:28:17,417 --> 01:28:18,751
I'm a good person.

1934
01:28:20,963 --> 01:28:23,130
Bye! I'll see you tomorrow!

1935
01:28:28,011 --> 01:28:29,553
Wow, what a stressful day, huh?

1936
01:28:29,972 --> 01:28:31,555
-Can't wait to get back to the beach house.
-Thank you.

1937
01:28:31,640 --> 01:28:33,599
-Bye.
-Just the two of us, you know?

1938
01:28:33,934 --> 01:28:36,268
No, honey.
I'm staying in the city tonight, remember?

1939
01:28:36,520 --> 01:28:38,145
-What? No.
-Yeah, the bride and groom,

1940
01:28:38,230 --> 01:28:40,481
they're supposed to sleep separate
night before the wedding.

1941
01:28:40,565 --> 01:28:41,816
So see you tomorrow, big guy.

1942
01:28:41,900 --> 01:28:43,734
I'm going to drop Jamie
at the Fairmont Copley.

1943
01:28:43,902 --> 01:28:45,903
Mom and Dad,
you guys got the hedgehog. Okay!

1944
01:28:46,238 --> 01:28:47,279
-Love you.
-Watch the door.

1945
01:28:47,364 --> 01:28:49,115
-Love you. Okay.
-Sleep well.

1946
01:28:49,491 --> 01:28:51,242
Wait, but don't they not have a car?

1947
01:28:57,082 --> 01:28:59,166
All right, Donny, go.
There's your chance. Go.

1948
01:28:59,251 --> 01:29:01,168
I ain't got no more chances, buddy.

1949
01:29:01,253 --> 01:29:02,920
The kid hates my guts.

1950
01:29:03,213 --> 01:29:04,797
Right? 'Cause you guys don't have a car.

1951
01:29:04,881 --> 01:29:06,424
I'm not talking about him, Donny.

1952
01:29:07,092 --> 01:29:08,718
-Wake up, man.
-What?

1953
01:29:09,094 --> 01:29:11,220
Jamie's the gatekeeper for your son.

1954
01:29:11,513 --> 01:29:14,932
-Yeah?
-Win her over, then she'll convince Han

1955
01:29:15,267 --> 01:29:17,268
to give you another chance. Boom!

1956
01:29:18,103 --> 01:29:21,689
How am I ever going to get her trust?
She freaking hates me.

1957
01:29:22,190 --> 01:29:24,608
Donny, you want to know
what all women love?

1958
01:29:25,610 --> 01:29:27,028
Ice cream.

1959
01:29:36,121 --> 01:29:37,997
Hi. I'm Todd Peterson.

1960
01:29:38,540 --> 01:29:40,374
No, you're not. You're Donny Berger.

1961
01:29:40,459 --> 01:29:42,376
You fucked your teacher
in the seventh grade.

1962
01:29:45,672 --> 01:29:47,381
Hi. I'm Todd Peterson.

1963
01:29:47,466 --> 01:29:49,175
Hi, Mr. Peterson. What can I do for you?

1964
01:29:49,593 --> 01:29:51,552
What room was my fiancée in again?

1965
01:29:51,678 --> 01:29:53,971
Let me check. 641 .

1966
01:29:54,306 --> 01:29:55,514
You're a fucking stud.

1967
01:29:57,350 --> 01:29:59,268
Hey, when the legendary
Donny Berger comes in here

1968
01:29:59,352 --> 01:30:01,395
using a fake name, you go with it!

1969
01:30:01,480 --> 01:30:03,022
All right, I will.

1970
01:30:08,236 --> 01:30:10,821
641 . 641 .

1971
01:30:10,906 --> 01:30:12,990
All right, come on, sweetheart.

1972
01:30:13,075 --> 01:30:14,950
Oh, yeah!

1973
01:30:17,245 --> 01:30:18,329
What, did Todd come out here?

1974
01:30:18,413 --> 01:30:20,206
You're half the size of Todd,

1975
01:30:20,290 --> 01:30:22,958
but you use it so much better!

1976
01:30:23,043 --> 01:30:25,169
I guess not.

1977
01:30:25,253 --> 01:30:26,295
Oh, my God!

1978
01:30:26,379 --> 01:30:27,838
Oh, my God.

1979
01:30:27,923 --> 01:30:29,256
Oh, my God!

1980
01:30:29,341 --> 01:30:31,050
Oh, my God.

1981
01:30:32,135 --> 01:30:33,719
Fucking shit!

1982
01:30:33,804 --> 01:30:35,096
Fucking shit.

1983
01:30:35,180 --> 01:30:36,222
Fucking shit!

1984
01:30:36,306 --> 01:30:37,348
Fucking shit.

1985
01:30:39,226 --> 01:30:40,601
Yeah. Okay.

1986
01:30:41,061 --> 01:30:42,895
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

1987
01:31:05,377 --> 01:31:06,836
Okay.

1988
01:31:09,422 --> 01:31:11,215
Yeah!

1989
01:31:11,758 --> 01:31:13,843
You do not deserve these treats.

1990
01:31:16,346 --> 01:31:17,429
Are you finished, sweetheart?

1991
01:31:18,265 --> 01:31:19,390
Oh, my God.

1992
01:31:21,309 --> 01:31:22,935
Your fiancé's at home, you know.

1993
01:31:23,395 --> 01:31:24,979
This really gets me upset.

1994
01:31:25,063 --> 01:31:26,480
You know why?

1995
01:31:26,565 --> 01:31:28,190
'Cause he's too good for you.

1996
01:31:28,733 --> 01:31:30,401
He is.

1997
01:31:30,485 --> 01:31:33,404
And you're sitting here gallivanting with...

1998
01:31:33,488 --> 01:31:35,573
I think I know who.

1999
01:31:35,657 --> 01:31:39,160
Don't I, Mr. Steve Goldstein?

2000
01:31:44,457 --> 01:31:46,750
Wait. Are you...

2001
01:31:47,627 --> 01:31:48,961
What am I seeing?

2002
01:31:49,254 --> 01:31:50,963
No... It...

2003
01:31:52,299 --> 01:31:53,382
With each other?

2004
01:31:54,759 --> 01:31:56,552
Am I... This is...

2005
01:31:59,681 --> 01:32:02,474
Is he your stepbrother at least

2006
01:32:02,559 --> 01:32:04,768
or adopted or something?

2007
01:32:06,104 --> 01:32:07,271
No reply.

2008
01:32:07,355 --> 01:32:08,355
So it's real.

2009
01:32:08,440 --> 01:32:09,648
Oh, my God.

2010
01:32:09,733 --> 01:32:11,150
Donny, Donny, you don't...

2011
01:32:11,234 --> 01:32:12,610
You don't understand what's going on here.

2012
01:32:12,694 --> 01:32:16,071
I don't think Charlie Sheen
would understand what's going on here.

2013
01:32:16,406 --> 01:32:20,159
Look, I love Todd,
and we're going to get married,

2014
01:32:20,243 --> 01:32:22,036
and we're going to have a great life together.

2015
01:32:22,120 --> 01:32:25,789
And yes, I've had sex with Chad
from time to time.

2016
01:32:27,209 --> 01:32:28,459
It's what good-looking people do.

2017
01:32:28,543 --> 01:32:30,628
They have sex with
other good-looking people.

2018
01:32:30,962 --> 01:32:32,546
You know? Just so happens that

2019
01:32:32,631 --> 01:32:36,217
this one particular good-looking person
is my little brother.

2020
01:32:36,301 --> 01:32:37,885
Okay.

2021
01:32:37,969 --> 01:32:39,887
It's all making sense to me now.

2022
01:32:42,557 --> 01:32:45,768
I know that sounded bad, but, Donny,
this was going to be the last time.

2023
01:32:45,852 --> 01:32:48,103
I would never carry on
with a married woman.

2024
01:32:48,355 --> 01:32:50,856
I've got better morals than that, Donny.

2025
01:32:52,317 --> 01:32:55,319
Chad, adultery is bad,

2026
01:32:57,239 --> 01:33:00,991
but incest is fucked up!

2027
01:33:02,994 --> 01:33:06,080
Please don't let him tell Mommy
about our secret tickle time.

2028
01:33:06,289 --> 01:33:08,082
"Secret tickle time"?

2029
01:33:08,166 --> 01:33:10,251
You got a name for it?

2030
01:33:11,878 --> 01:33:15,714
And with a United States
military man, no less.

2031
01:33:16,049 --> 01:33:18,592
You are a disgrace to that uniform!

2032
01:33:18,677 --> 01:33:20,094
No, he's not a Marine.

2033
01:33:20,178 --> 01:33:21,428
He buys those uniforms on eBay

2034
01:33:21,513 --> 01:33:24,056
so Dad doesn't find out
he's a modern jazz dancer.

2035
01:33:24,391 --> 01:33:25,516
What?

2036
01:33:25,600 --> 01:33:28,143
That's possibly worse than the incest thing.

2037
01:33:28,645 --> 01:33:31,063
This is an abomination. I'm telling Todd.

2038
01:33:31,147 --> 01:33:33,440
-No, he won't believe you.
-Yeah, he will.

2039
01:33:33,692 --> 01:33:36,694
No, he bought that Steve Goldstein story.

2040
01:33:37,028 --> 01:33:39,905
Come on, you think he got
that partnership on his own?

2041
01:33:39,990 --> 01:33:41,323
With that "beep boop beep" shit?

2042
01:33:41,408 --> 01:33:42,449
No, I gave him a boost.

2043
01:33:43,201 --> 01:33:45,369
How many people have you fucked?

2044
01:33:45,954 --> 01:33:48,038
Well, maybe he'll believe this.

2045
01:33:51,418 --> 01:33:53,294
Nice. Save.

2046
01:33:55,255 --> 01:33:56,797
You two have fun together.

2047
01:33:57,424 --> 01:33:58,590
Sickies.

2048
01:33:58,675 --> 01:34:00,134
All right, how much?

2049
01:34:00,677 --> 01:34:01,844
I'm going to be a very rich woman.

2050
01:34:01,928 --> 01:34:03,470
I can write you a big fat check.

2051
01:34:03,847 --> 01:34:05,723
What's it going to take for this to go away?

2052
01:34:06,182 --> 01:34:09,601
Todd has to pop a Xanax
when he loses a contact lens.

2053
01:34:10,562 --> 01:34:12,980
What do you think he's going to do
when he finds out about this?

2054
01:34:13,648 --> 01:34:15,441
Todd's happy.

2055
01:34:15,525 --> 01:34:17,359
You really want to take that away?

2056
01:34:37,672 --> 01:34:38,922
Hey, buddy.

2057
01:34:40,175 --> 01:34:42,593
I got something to tell you, and...

2058
01:34:43,762 --> 01:34:46,013
I'm not expecting you to believe this, but...

2059
01:34:48,183 --> 01:34:49,725
I got the money.

2060
01:34:49,809 --> 01:34:51,060
That's great, Donny.

2061
01:34:51,436 --> 01:34:53,020
Your son came through for you, didn't he?

2062
01:34:53,229 --> 01:34:57,107
Yeah. His fiancée gave me $50,000

2063
01:34:57,192 --> 01:35:00,569
to keep quiet about her
having sex with her brother.

2064
01:35:00,653 --> 01:35:02,279
Yeah, I've been there.

2065
01:35:02,447 --> 01:35:03,655
We've all been there.

2066
01:35:04,699 --> 01:35:06,658
She said it was her last time, so...

2067
01:35:07,827 --> 01:35:09,078
Maybe things will work out.

2068
01:35:09,829 --> 01:35:11,955
Then how come I feel like shit right now?

2069
01:35:12,791 --> 01:35:14,458
Yeah, it's kind of a moral thicket.

2070
01:35:14,709 --> 01:35:16,043
But the good news is

2071
01:35:16,127 --> 01:35:18,670
you stay out of the slammer, right, Donny?

2072
01:35:20,256 --> 01:35:21,423
Donny?

2073
01:35:33,478 --> 01:35:34,978
"Go do something."

2074
01:35:36,564 --> 01:35:39,983
I don't know, Mr. Mitty.
I don't know if I can fucking handle it.

2075
01:35:41,903 --> 01:35:44,321
"Be a good person."

2076
01:35:46,324 --> 01:35:47,324
Donny?

2077
01:35:54,874 --> 01:35:56,250
-No, no, don't hit me.
-No, no.

2078
01:35:56,334 --> 01:35:59,128
Just give me a moment, please, Todd.
Just a moment. Relax.

2079
01:35:59,754 --> 01:36:01,797
You know, after praying with the monsignor,

2080
01:36:02,257 --> 01:36:06,510
I realize that I committed the sin
of prideful anger in the church,

2081
01:36:07,220 --> 01:36:09,847
and I hope that you'll accept my apology

2082
01:36:09,931 --> 01:36:13,642
and allow me the honor
of being a part of this joyous day.

2083
01:36:14,227 --> 01:36:15,894
Well, what about Father Shakalu?

2084
01:36:17,564 --> 01:36:18,939
Stupid bird.

2085
01:36:19,023 --> 01:36:20,441
Come on, fly!

2086
01:36:21,067 --> 01:36:23,026
Well, he's cool.

2087
01:36:24,028 --> 01:36:25,446
Great. Sounds good.

2088
01:36:26,990 --> 01:36:28,282
By the way, Todd,

2089
01:36:29,242 --> 01:36:31,118
was it you that hit me in the head
with the bottle?

2090
01:36:32,579 --> 01:36:33,662
No.

2091
01:36:34,080 --> 01:36:36,123
Well, then, who, then?

2092
01:36:37,542 --> 01:36:38,584
It was Chad.

2093
01:36:39,377 --> 01:36:40,711
Interesting.

2094
01:36:41,796 --> 01:36:43,380
Two, three, four.

2095
01:36:43,465 --> 01:36:44,590
Fosse, and Fosse,

2096
01:36:45,258 --> 01:36:46,800
-and Fosse.
-Interesting.

2097
01:36:48,887 --> 01:36:50,804
Yo! Donny Berger! All right!

2098
01:36:50,889 --> 01:36:54,057
I'd sign something for you, buddy,
but I got no time right now.

2099
01:36:54,142 --> 01:36:55,476
Ice!

2100
01:36:55,560 --> 01:36:57,060
Ice, you in there, buddy? I need you!

2101
01:36:58,897 --> 01:37:00,022
You still got the 5.0?

2102
01:37:02,358 --> 01:37:04,651
What does that mean? Is that a yes or no?
I don't understand the pose.

2103
01:37:04,736 --> 01:37:06,570
Yeah? Let's go, let's go!

2104
01:37:17,999 --> 01:37:19,333
Go, baby, go!

2105
01:37:52,742 --> 01:37:53,909
No!

2106
01:38:19,477 --> 01:38:20,644
Look at this fucking guy!

2107
01:38:22,647 --> 01:38:23,689
Man!

2108
01:38:36,327 --> 01:38:38,912
No, no, no, no, no! We're stuck! We're stuck!

2109
01:38:38,997 --> 01:38:41,081
To hell with the 5.0. Let's run for it, man.

2110
01:38:41,165 --> 01:38:43,375
-But we need great tunes!
-Come on, let's get them!

2111
01:38:44,335 --> 01:38:45,752
Right here, I got a Walkman.

2112
01:38:45,837 --> 01:38:47,170
-The Walkman!
-Yeah, baby.

2113
01:38:49,299 --> 01:38:50,340
Let's go!

2114
01:38:53,886 --> 01:38:55,345
-Damn it, man!
-Come on! Let's go!

2115
01:38:55,430 --> 01:38:56,513
Oh, my God!

2116
01:38:59,350 --> 01:39:00,851
Hey!

2117
01:39:10,945 --> 01:39:13,363
You forgot to pay!

2118
01:39:13,615 --> 01:39:16,825
So, Jamie, do you promise
to provide Todd here

2119
01:39:16,909 --> 01:39:20,370
with unending empathy,
encouragement and honesty,

2120
01:39:21,205 --> 01:39:22,414
till death do you part?

2121
01:39:22,957 --> 01:39:24,041
I do.

2122
01:39:28,379 --> 01:39:30,172
Hey, Donny. Come on!

2123
01:39:37,138 --> 01:39:38,513
What are you doing, guy?

2124
01:39:38,890 --> 01:39:40,390
You jumped?

2125
01:39:40,475 --> 01:39:42,309
There was a door right here!

2126
01:39:42,393 --> 01:39:44,394
Come on, we got to get there!

2127
01:39:46,898 --> 01:39:48,482
And you, Todd, do you promise to love,

2128
01:39:48,566 --> 01:39:52,235
honor and protect this special lady
for the rest of your life?

2129
01:39:54,489 --> 01:39:56,657
Don't answer that question!

2130
01:40:02,580 --> 01:40:03,747
Oh, shit.

2131
01:40:06,876 --> 01:40:10,128
We ran well over a mile.

2132
01:40:22,934 --> 01:40:25,018
I object to these two getting married.

2133
01:40:26,896 --> 01:40:30,190
No, we're past that part already.

2134
01:40:31,025 --> 01:40:32,192
What are my options, then?

2135
01:40:32,276 --> 01:40:33,318
How about leaving?

2136
01:40:33,444 --> 01:40:36,113
You shut the hell up, you satanic hose-bag!

2137
01:40:36,406 --> 01:40:37,364
Hey!

2138
01:40:37,448 --> 01:40:39,866
Gerald! I'm sorry it sounded so harsh,

2139
01:40:39,951 --> 01:40:42,285
but you'll understand
why I said that in a few minutes.

2140
01:40:42,370 --> 01:40:43,704
There ain't gonna be a few minutes,

2141
01:40:43,788 --> 01:40:45,455
-you goddamn son of a bitch!
-Calm down!

2142
01:40:45,540 --> 01:40:46,623
Calm down!

2143
01:40:48,251 --> 01:40:49,793
Let the boy talk.

2144
01:40:49,877 --> 01:40:51,670
I can't let you marry this chick.

2145
01:40:52,004 --> 01:40:53,046
I can't believe you're doing this.

2146
01:40:53,131 --> 01:40:54,631
Listen to me, buddy.

2147
01:40:55,133 --> 01:40:56,842
You don't love this girl.

2148
01:40:56,926 --> 01:40:59,136
I'm telling you. I had love, it's different.

2149
01:40:59,220 --> 01:41:00,887
It's a different feeling.

2150
01:41:01,222 --> 01:41:02,806
Love is like...

2151
01:41:03,599 --> 01:41:06,309
It just leads you to a special connection.

2152
01:41:06,394 --> 01:41:09,938
It's full of, like, feelings of awesomeness.

2153
01:41:10,022 --> 01:41:13,024
And the feelings you...

2154
01:41:13,109 --> 01:41:14,651
That wrap around you.

2155
01:41:15,194 --> 01:41:17,237
It's deep in your stomach.

2156
01:41:17,321 --> 01:41:19,489
It's in your head.
It's in your fucking nut sack.

2157
01:41:20,658 --> 01:41:22,159
It's in your dick when it gets hard.

2158
01:41:22,243 --> 01:41:23,702
There's still love at the tip.

2159
01:41:23,911 --> 01:41:25,746
And it fucking sprinkles out

2160
01:41:26,539 --> 01:41:29,666
like morning dew
shooting all over the grass.

2161
01:41:30,168 --> 01:41:32,419
Okay, I've had just about enough of this.

2162
01:41:32,545 --> 01:41:35,046
Phil, sit down before I tell your wife
what you did at the strip club.

2163
01:41:35,173 --> 01:41:36,298
Okay.

2164
01:41:38,092 --> 01:41:42,429
Son, I'm sorry, I just...
I can't let you marry this skank.

2165
01:41:42,680 --> 01:41:43,680
"Son?"

2166
01:41:44,140 --> 01:41:45,599
-Your son?
-Son?

2167
01:41:45,850 --> 01:41:47,225
What is he talking about?

2168
01:41:47,685 --> 01:41:50,562
Honey? You can tell me.

2169
01:41:51,397 --> 01:41:53,064
I'll forgive you.

2170
01:41:53,691 --> 01:41:56,318
That's what love's about, right? Forgiveness.

2171
01:41:57,737 --> 01:41:59,112
All right, fine.

2172
01:42:00,865 --> 01:42:02,949
Donny's not my best friend.

2173
01:42:03,534 --> 01:42:04,743
He's my father.

2174
01:42:05,203 --> 01:42:06,244
Oh, my...

2175
01:42:06,329 --> 01:42:09,122
My parents didn't die in an explosion.

2176
01:42:09,207 --> 01:42:10,791
I lied because I'm the product of

2177
01:42:10,875 --> 01:42:13,543
an inappropriate
teacher-student relationship.

2178
01:42:13,628 --> 01:42:15,837
Teacher-student relationship?

2179
01:42:17,507 --> 01:42:18,840
Do you know how gross that sounds?

2180
01:42:18,925 --> 01:42:19,925
You're disgusting!

2181
01:42:20,468 --> 01:42:22,219
Are you fucking kidding me right now?

2182
01:42:22,512 --> 01:42:24,346
She can still cancel that check, Donny!

2183
01:42:24,514 --> 01:42:25,514
Chad.

2184
01:42:25,723 --> 01:42:26,973
Cancel what check?

2185
01:42:27,058 --> 01:42:28,058
I don't...

2186
01:42:28,142 --> 01:42:30,769
She gave me 50 grand
to keep my mouth shut.

2187
01:42:32,146 --> 01:42:33,939
Fifty grand? Jamie.

2188
01:42:34,023 --> 01:42:36,733
Yeah, it was... I was gonna hold on to it,

2189
01:42:36,818 --> 01:42:38,860
you know, to get me out ofjail, but...

2190
01:42:39,737 --> 01:42:41,530
Yeah, yeah. That's what I think of that.

2191
01:42:41,614 --> 01:42:43,323
That's how much I hate this fucking whore.

2192
01:42:43,407 --> 01:42:45,242
Wait. Keep your mouth shut about what?

2193
01:42:45,326 --> 01:42:46,451
Todd, don't listen to him.

2194
01:42:46,702 --> 01:42:48,453
He's a liar and he's crazy!

2195
01:42:48,538 --> 01:42:50,497
Father McNally, please continue.
I promise to do

2196
01:42:50,581 --> 01:42:52,290
all that shit you mentioned
and so does Todd, right?

2197
01:42:52,375 --> 01:42:53,917
Wait, what is going on?

2198
01:42:54,001 --> 01:42:55,043
Tell him.

2199
01:42:56,420 --> 01:42:58,296
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't tell him, don't tell him.

2200
01:42:58,589 --> 01:43:00,841
You tell him or I'll tell everybody here.
It's up to you.

2201
01:43:07,223 --> 01:43:08,265
Come on.

2202
01:43:21,946 --> 01:43:23,363
Okay. Well, that's not that bad.

2203
01:43:23,614 --> 01:43:26,741
What? You didn't tell him,
you fucking lying piece of shit!

2204
01:43:26,826 --> 01:43:29,411
Get on it now or I'll fucking crush you!

2205
01:43:29,495 --> 01:43:30,537
No.

2206
01:43:31,122 --> 01:43:34,040
Jame, you can tell me.

2207
01:43:34,125 --> 01:43:35,750
I mean, how bad could it be?

2208
01:43:59,317 --> 01:44:00,358
What?

2209
01:44:00,443 --> 01:44:01,818
Okay, she told him.

2210
01:44:03,779 --> 01:44:05,322
What?

2211
01:44:10,536 --> 01:44:12,329
You fuck your brother?

2212
01:44:12,663 --> 01:44:14,205
Oh, my God!

2213
01:44:16,167 --> 01:44:18,376
Fucking white people.

2214
01:44:20,922 --> 01:44:23,924
I'm not looking so bad now, am I, Dad?

2215
01:44:24,675 --> 01:44:25,926
I'm out of here.

2216
01:44:26,010 --> 01:44:28,595
Mom, she started all this.

2217
01:44:28,679 --> 01:44:31,097
I didn't want to. I'm still your little soldier, I...

2218
01:44:31,307 --> 01:44:33,433
-Fuck!
-Take that uniform off.

2219
01:44:33,517 --> 01:44:35,352
You're insulting us all.

2220
01:44:35,436 --> 01:44:37,145
No, no, no. Don't you see?

2221
01:44:37,688 --> 01:44:39,189
It's gonna be even better now.

2222
01:44:39,941 --> 01:44:41,816
You're a mess, I'm a mess.

2223
01:44:42,151 --> 01:44:44,945
Come on. Doc Shakalu, get your ass up here!

2224
01:44:45,029 --> 01:44:46,696
I got to be part of this shit?

2225
01:44:46,864 --> 01:44:47,948
Todd?

2226
01:44:48,324 --> 01:44:49,699
Please.

2227
01:44:56,082 --> 01:44:58,416
Come on, baby. Come on, Todd, let's do this.

2228
01:44:58,501 --> 01:44:59,542
Yeah, yeah.

2229
01:44:59,877 --> 01:45:02,712
No! Let's not do this.

2230
01:45:03,130 --> 01:45:04,422
Okay?

2231
01:45:04,882 --> 01:45:08,510
And for the record,
my name's not Todd Peterson.

2232
01:45:09,011 --> 01:45:10,887
It's Han Solo.

2233
01:45:10,972 --> 01:45:14,933
Named after the man who made
the Kessel Run in less than 1 2 parsecs.

2234
01:45:15,017 --> 01:45:18,103
And I am a Berger, like my father before me.

2235
01:45:18,396 --> 01:45:20,855
Also, I want to tell everyone here
that I've got a pretty huge

2236
01:45:20,940 --> 01:45:22,983
New Kids on the Block tattoo on my back.

2237
01:45:23,067 --> 01:45:25,276
The heads are warped,
but fuck you guys, it's funny.

2238
01:45:25,444 --> 01:45:27,153
It is fucking hilarious.

2239
01:45:27,363 --> 01:45:28,405
And Steve?

2240
01:45:28,823 --> 01:45:32,367
Nothing personal, man, but I quit!

2241
01:45:32,743 --> 01:45:35,078
No, no. Come on, Todd, don't be like that.

2242
01:45:36,372 --> 01:45:37,998
We quit, too.

2243
01:45:38,082 --> 01:45:39,165
Fuck you!

2244
01:45:39,583 --> 01:45:40,750
Good call, Han Solo,

2245
01:45:40,835 --> 01:45:42,961
'cause your fiancée banged him, too.

2246
01:45:43,045 --> 01:45:44,004
What?

2247
01:45:44,088 --> 01:45:46,006
I didn't know
about the brother thing, though.

2248
01:45:46,090 --> 01:45:48,425
I am as sickened as you, believe me.

2249
01:45:48,509 --> 01:45:50,260
You know what? It's all right, Steve.

2250
01:45:50,344 --> 01:45:51,469
'Cause guess what?

2251
01:45:51,554 --> 01:45:54,097
Donny and Vanilla Ice fucked your mom!

2252
01:45:55,307 --> 01:45:57,392
Vanilla Ice banged Grandma?

2253
01:45:57,476 --> 01:45:59,769
That's fucking awesome!

2254
01:46:02,440 --> 01:46:03,940
Donny, look out!

2255
01:46:08,195 --> 01:46:09,946
Word to your mother, brotherfucker!

2256
01:46:10,656 --> 01:46:12,574
I'm sorry.
I know I'm not supposed to hit a chick,

2257
01:46:12,658 --> 01:46:14,492
but I got to tell you, it felt good.

2258
01:46:14,577 --> 01:46:16,161
I mean, I wouldn't do it again,

2259
01:46:16,245 --> 01:46:18,455
but with this psycho, you know,
it was warranted.

2260
01:46:18,539 --> 01:46:20,123
Donny! I'm gonna kill you!

2261
01:46:23,961 --> 01:46:25,420
At ease, bitch.

2262
01:46:25,504 --> 01:46:28,048
Dude! That's it! Nice!

2263
01:46:28,132 --> 01:46:29,257
Hang on, though. Hang on.

2264
01:46:29,341 --> 01:46:30,800
No, don't hurt me.

2265
01:46:35,056 --> 01:46:36,556
Even Steven.

2266
01:46:37,099 --> 01:46:39,642
Father, take off the collar.

2267
01:46:40,478 --> 01:46:42,645
That's right. You're not meant for this.

2268
01:46:43,814 --> 01:46:45,190
-Well...
-Yeah.

2269
01:46:45,566 --> 01:46:46,900
Nicely done.

2270
01:46:46,984 --> 01:46:48,401
All right, come on.

2271
01:46:48,986 --> 01:46:50,278
Let's get out of here, Dad.

2272
01:46:51,489 --> 01:46:53,865
Did you hear that? Did you hear that?

2273
01:46:53,949 --> 01:46:55,992
My son called me "Dad!"

2274
01:46:56,619 --> 01:46:57,911
He called me "Dad!"

2275
01:46:57,995 --> 01:47:00,413
That's right!
The Berger boys are back, bitches!

2276
01:47:00,498 --> 01:47:03,792
Wassup?

2277
01:47:04,043 --> 01:47:05,668
Wassup...

2278
01:47:13,844 --> 01:47:15,011
Shut up.

2279
01:47:15,096 --> 01:47:17,388
His boss and her brother?

2280
01:47:17,473 --> 01:47:19,057
It sounds like a Rodney Dangerfield joke,

2281
01:47:19,141 --> 01:47:21,142
but it actually happened to my boy here!

2282
01:47:21,519 --> 01:47:24,104
Now we got to find Han Solo
one of them new girls.

2283
01:47:24,188 --> 01:47:26,106
One that don't care about
all that money he make.

2284
01:47:26,190 --> 01:47:28,608
-No, no.
-Yeah, like a girl version

2285
01:47:28,692 --> 01:47:30,777
-of Todd Bridges would be perfect.
-That's right!

2286
01:47:30,861 --> 01:47:32,153
Female version of me. That's right.

2287
01:47:32,238 --> 01:47:35,073
Well, you know, I actually might be
doing okay in that department, so...

2288
01:47:35,366 --> 01:47:36,366
What's that?

2289
01:47:36,450 --> 01:47:37,617
What the fuck... What the heck?

2290
01:47:37,701 --> 01:47:40,662
Todd and Brie, sitting in a tree.

2291
01:47:40,913 --> 01:47:43,373
I have balls down to my knee!

2292
01:47:43,874 --> 01:47:45,917
-What?
-He said it! Yeah!

2293
01:47:46,377 --> 01:47:48,044
-Donny!
-Yeah, buddy?

2294
01:47:48,379 --> 01:47:50,964
You're my best friend. I'm gonna miss you.

2295
01:47:52,216 --> 01:47:53,633
I know, I know.

2296
01:47:53,717 --> 01:47:54,801
But there's good news.

2297
01:47:54,885 --> 01:47:56,928
You know what,
Miss McGarricle gets out in three years,

2298
01:47:57,012 --> 01:48:00,390
so the timing's kind of perfect
for us to start our lives together.

2299
01:48:00,683 --> 01:48:01,891
Dad, let me just give you the money.

2300
01:48:02,184 --> 01:48:03,977
No. No. I'm not gonna do that.

2301
01:48:04,061 --> 01:48:08,022
It's time for Donny Berger
to take responsibility for his screw-ups.

2302
01:48:08,357 --> 01:48:10,900
I made my bed, now I got to lie in it.

2303
01:48:11,152 --> 01:48:13,153
Donny! Donny! Are you watching?

2304
01:48:13,237 --> 01:48:14,863
Turn on the TV! Turn it on!

2305
01:48:15,114 --> 01:48:18,825
There he is, the fat guy we've been
talking about all day, Tubby Tuke,

2306
01:48:18,909 --> 01:48:22,453
actually gaining on the Ethiopians
here in the final stretch.

2307
01:48:22,538 --> 01:48:24,789
Is this the fat guy I put the money on?

2308
01:48:24,874 --> 01:48:26,791
Twenty bucks at 8,000-to-1 .

2309
01:48:27,918 --> 01:48:29,502
-A hundred and sixty grand?
-A hundred and sixty grand?

2310
01:48:29,587 --> 01:48:31,087
Come on, you fat shit, move it!

2311
01:48:31,255 --> 01:48:32,755
Go, Tubby! Go, Tubby!

2312
01:48:33,174 --> 01:48:34,674
Keep running! Keep running!

2313
01:48:35,593 --> 01:48:37,343
Pass those Ethiopians!

2314
01:48:37,636 --> 01:48:39,762
Pass them skinny fucking Ethiopians!

2315
01:48:41,807 --> 01:48:44,934
This defies every law of science,
but it's happening!

2316
01:48:48,480 --> 01:48:51,482
Get the fuck up!

2317
01:48:54,195 --> 01:48:55,820
He's up! He's up! He's up!

2318
01:48:58,782 --> 01:49:01,367
-That'll replenish him! That'll replenish him!
-No!

2319
01:49:02,536 --> 01:49:03,995
Listen to the roar of that crowd.

2320
01:49:04,079 --> 01:49:07,457
Fat guy! Fat guy!

2321
01:49:07,625 --> 01:49:09,209
Can he possibIy win it?

2322
01:49:09,460 --> 01:49:10,460
He's gonna do it!

2323
01:49:12,504 --> 01:49:13,922
Tubby Tuke has won!

2324
01:49:20,429 --> 01:49:23,056
Tubby Tuke wins! Tubby Tuke wins!

2325
01:49:28,429 --> 01:49:50,056
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