If you're gonna trash me in front of the gringos, do it in Spanish.
Yeah, none of them speak Spanish.
Bye...
Ladies.
Why won't he answer?
I'm sure he's on that floating orgy.
I need him here.
Easy, Papi, you'll get better.
You don't know that!
Neither does he!
And he's the idiot who cut out my gallbladder...
and gave me this mystery infection.
I need Leonardo in Mexico City.
I made my decision.
I'm handing Montenegro Industries over to him.
That's absurd!
He's not capable of running a multi-national corporation.
He'll rise to the occasion.
Like I did when I had to...
that summer in 1961...
Here it comes... Vienna.
I met the love of my life... in Vienna.
But Mom said you met in Barcelona.
Yeah, I met her there.
But in Vienna, I met this dancer--
Listen to me.
I'm the one with the experience.
Magda, now's not the time.
I'm just saying...
he should leave the company to someone who actually works there.
And me?
What?
Why do you always belittle my work with our chritable division?
Of course!
Because of you a bunch of poor kids can play violin.
The world's a better place.
You mock me, but classical music saved my life!
Anti-depressants saved your life!
It's not a violin, it's a cello! -Stop it, you two!
I made my decision.
...it's a cello.
Find your brother
and bring him home before this butcher kills me.
God, unbelievable!
- Papi, you're going to-- - Leave me be!
Wanna join us in the jacuzzi?
Yes, my little angel.
The mechanic agrees with me, dumbass.
...so we'll fly to Mexico tonight.
No, we'll take the boat.
Papi is dying.
He'll hold on.
He's too stubborn to die quickly.
Listen.
When I'm in charge, will there be a lot of meetings?
Because I've been thinking...
of buying a soccer team.
Sounds fun, right?
You are unbelievable.
What?
You're a child!
What?
The company should be mine.
I do all the work.
You can still do all the work.
I'll be the pretty face...
...obviously.
You'll be the brains. It's a win - win.
Why does Papi have these old, macho ideas?
That's not the reason.
Then what?
I think he just...
loves me more.
It's true. Don't be upset.
Look -- I love you. I love you a lot.
But...
you can be unpleasant.
I want to shoot myself.
Even you can't stand yourself.
I wish you were never born.
You need to relax.
I'm calling my masseuse.
God, help me.
Deep tissue or hot rocks?
I want nothing -- shut up!
Four hands?
I'm drunk.
Good, I'll take advantage of you.
Is there a problem?
Don't take too long.
Hi, Papi.
All good -- just hit a wave.
...everything's under control.
"Pancho's" having dinner tonight!
Help me!
Bringing him home safe and sound.
Please! Help!
Papi's getting weaker. Where's Leonardo?
Carlos, you still making fake documents?
Absolutely not.
Out of that racket.
I'm a law-abiding American citizen.
What is that noise?!
Welcome, man.
Damn, you got some soft hands.
What've you been doing?
Back off -- poor guy's got amnesia.
I know what he's been doing. Working at a nail salon.
Those are some real lady hands.
A little bit?
I wish I could've brought his body home, but...
...the shark did too much damage.
Why does my son smell like meat?
Because, in the end...
that's what we all are...
Hamburger.
You'll be throwing me on the grill soon enough.
- Oh, my God! - Don't say that!
The new antibiotic's going to work.
I know this is an emotional time,
but perhaps we should talk about
the future of the company.
There's nothing to talk about.
When I'm in the ground,
you're in charge.
I'm humbled, Papi.
Look at you -- the crown you always dreamed of.
That's what you wanted, right?
Yes.
But not like this.
Not like this.
Sorry, mister. I don't speak English.
What happened, Lady Hands?
Lose your memory and your muscles?
Come on!
With gusto, buddy.
Lady Hands, do it like a man!
Go for it, dude!
Do it again! I need to film that!
He flipped like a monkey!
Turn that thing off!
You're spraying me!
Let's get it done!
...and I don't know,
I feel like...
I'm stuck in a life that isn't mine.
I mean...
look at this guy with his mansion
and his view of the ocean.
I feel like that should be my life.
Yeah, you should be living like Bill Gates or Carlos Slim
with a big house and a private jet.
Me too, man.
That's why I play the lottery.
Every Friday at the same time, I buy the same numbers.
12 - 21 - 45 My lucky numbers.
The day the Godfather got shot buying oranges.
Those numbers are really working for you!
You don't understand.
I feel like something's profoundly wrong.
Sometimes I look at my wife and...
I have no idea who this person is.
Tell me about it.
You should've seen Sonia in high school.
She was smokin' hot.
Now I barely recognize her.
She got really ugly.
Trust me, she's disappointed too.
He's one to talk.
No, I'm serious.
I don't feel like we're really husband and wife.
We haven't had sex in I don't know how long.
Really, I have no idea.
You know the last time I had sex with my wife?
Nine months before my daughter was born.
She just turned three.
- Quick, move away. - He's looking at us!
Yeah, an "artist".
Come on, let's go.
Kiss my ass!
You know I can take you!
The thing is, the thing is...
I feel like I'm just a paycheck.
Lady Hands...
that's what you are.
But not a very good one.
Pathetic.
We all feel this way, man.
- Really! - Absolutely.
- All of you? - All of us.
Welcome to the club.
Listen, Lady Hands, you're blessed.
You got a decent job.
A wife who puts up with your crap. Three beautiful, healthy girls.
Will you wake me when he's done?
Don't be a jerk.
Know what Don Corleone would say to you?
He'd say: "Act like a man."
And then he'd slap you. Do I need to slap you?
No. I got it, I got it.
Well, then...
I'm having a hard time, Papi.
Remember when I went to New York
to try to be a concert cellist?
You were furious and cut me off.
And I've forgiven you.
Mostly.
But Leonardo was there for me.
He flew to New York and...
helped me decorate my apartment.
He was the only one who believed in my talent.
Always.
His death was very sudden...
and Magda's been so vague about the details...
Oh my God, how much do these things weigh?
90 pounds.
It's cruel.
They should make it so an actual human being can carry them.
Probably save like 3 cents a bag this way.
Greedy bastards.
Hey, it's payday.
About time.
Thank you, boss.
Here you go, Leo.
And the client wats us to leave early so he can...
get a massage or count his money or something.
Watch out!
What're you staring at?
It can't be, but this feels like the first paycheck I ever got.
Don't lose it, Lady Hands.
What happened to Catalina?
She lost the baby.
She lost it?
Now Arturo will never marry her.
Of course not. Never.
Yeah, it's boring. I hate it.
Go have fun.
Don't bury me yet.
I'm all better.
Easy, you're still recovering.
I just peed on my own.
Can you believe this quack was right?
I've been right for 30 years.
I'm filled with happiness!
You can dial it back. You still get the company.
Probably should've given it to you from the start.
I'm humbled, Papi.
My God!
Leonardo, you always supported my musical dreams.
Like you said, "When God gives you a gift...
it's your responsibility to use it."
This is for you. It's Bach.
It was here, that fateful night...
when Leonardo bravely fought
the savage shark and perished.
Today, his remais can--
Sofia, that's enough. Thank you, my dear.
Today his remains can join the rest of his body.
Let's each take a handful of our beloved Leonardo...
and say our final goodbyes.
He's alive! Leonardo's alive!
He's alive!
Thank you, my love.
You changed my life.
He's been through a lot. Let's not overwhelm him.
Come on, son.
You've made me very happy.
My father...
Leonardo Montenegro, founded the company 100 years ago.
And now I can retire...
knowing my son,
Leonardo Eduardo Gustavo de la Cruz Montenegro y Nieto,
will lead us into the future.
What?
You said I was going to be in charge.
Well...
Life gave me lemons and I was trying to make lemonade.
Don't get upset.
I'm going to need your help.
This is all new to me.
But I have some ideas.
See, he already has ideas.
For example...
we should sell 30 pound bags of cement
in addition to the 90.
Here's why--
Do you have any idea how much that would
increase production cost?
Ballpark --
Three million. A year.
Have you ever carried a bag of cement?
They give you a hernia.
Who cares?
The people carrying them.
Are you listening to this nonsense?
Give him time, Magda.
The cub will become a lion.
Good morning, Papi.
Morning, son.
Coffee?
Yes, thank you.
Beautiful weather we're having.
Yes.
What the heck?!
Why is the sun rising over there?
Because we're headed back to Oregon.
What? Why?!
To be with that con artist?
Absolutely not!
I forbid it!
Papi, wait.
Let's talk about this.
No! I'm turning this boat around!
We're going back to Mexico!
Papi, listen to me.
This is ridiculous.
What's going on?
I'm stopping your brother
from throwing his life away
for some pizza nurse!
I'm a grown man! I can be with who I want!
Yes, follow your heart.
What about the company?
You have responsibilities.
For once in your life, do the right thing!
For the first time, I am!
I adore this new Leonardo. So romantic.
I say go for it.
Right?
Yes, of course you want him out of the picture.
Look what I found...
in something called "The Beachcomber."
That was you.
What?
You deliberately left Leonardo in that hospital.
Is this true?
Of course not.
That could've been any woman from Mexico City...
yachting off the Oregon coast.
Yeah, because there are so many.
You left him there!
- To rot! - Please, Papi, you know I would never...
Quiet!
She's lost her mind!
You're sinister!
Quiet!
You're a lying goat!
Don't turn around!
Open the door!
Papi, please!
Let me in!
No! That woman brainwashed you!
That fool!
Take the helm!
If you do this...
it's over!
No turning back!
I don't care!
I love her!
I'll cut you off!
I swear!
So be it!
You'll be disinherited!
You won't have a penny to your name!
Not a penny?
Nothing!
You'll be a pauper!
Wait! Wait!
Let's not overreact!
We can work something out!
What if I keep the Swiss accounts?
No!
And don't even think about running Montenegro Industries!
Your sister will be in charge!
I'm humbled, Papi.
Not you.
I'm giving it to Sofia.
You left your brother for dead.
You're firing me?
You're kicking me out of the family?
Of course not.
We're putting you in charge of our charitable division.
The smelly, poor kids?!
Yep.
You're so insensitive!
Son, listen carefully.
This is your last chance.
What if you give me...
a generous monthly stipend?
No!
How about one lump sum, held in trust--
No!
It's all or nothing!
That's your final offer?
Final!
Okay.
Sir, do you want to adopt me?
A rich guy with amnesia,
a big-hearted poor girl,
a disapproving father, an evil sister...
Real life is better than a telenovela.
You may kiss the bride.
I'm very happy for Leonardo.
You are very happy for Leonardo.
She is very happy for Leonardo.
The words of Vito Corleone.
A wise man. A man of intelligence.
Sure, he killed many people.
But always for work... never for pleasure.
When you stab somebody for pleasure...
you cut out his intestines and guts.
You're still disinherited.
But I'm still going to buy the yacht.
Not for you.
For my beautiful granddaughters.
They deserve the world.
...you peel back the skin and muscle.
You take out the guts... the intestines...
the pancreas... the kidneys and --
Anyway, congratulations to the happy couple.
Vamos de fiesta!