Steve 我收到了一封奇怪的邮件 Steve, I just got a weird e-mail.
- 你给我们买机票了吗 - 露馅了 - Did you buy us airline tickets? - Aw, shoot.
本来该是个惊喜的 It was supposed to be a surprise.
我想感谢你们 I wanted to thank you
让我在这里住了这么久 for letting me live here all this time,
所以我请大家去度假 so I'm treating the family to a vacation!
Steve 你真好 Steve, you're so sweet.
- 谢谢Steve伯伯 - 伯伯最棒 - Thanks, Uncle Steve! - Best Uncle ever.
小心咯 外面的世界 Look out, world.
我们一家要去巴黎啦 The Smith family is going to Paris!
爽呆 Yeah!
Rick 别把发光的石头扔在厨房的垃圾桶 Rick, I don't like glowing rocks in the kitchen trash!
那你也别把你那失业的基因 Well, I don't like your unemployed genes
传给我孙子孙女 in my grandchildren, Jerry
但是活着就要学会妥协 But life is made of little concessions.
我 懒得跟你说 I...you know what?
你的工作会稳定下来的 Jer You're gonna land on your feet, Jer.
会有一家公司因为雇了我弟弟 Some company out there's gonna thank their lucky stars
而感谢上苍的 they hired my little brother.
- 你[哔]是谁 - 我的呆哥哥 Steve - Who the [bleep] are you? - My goofy brother, Steve.
他在这住了快一年了 He's been living here almost a year now.
你疯了吗 Are you losing your mind?
他玩那发光石头 Hey, someone's been spending too much time
玩傻了吧 哈哈 around glowing rocks. Am I right?
- 我的天 - 快叫救护车 - Oh, my God! - Call an ambulance!
Rick你这是搞什么 What the hell, Rick?! What the hell?!
你们能不能别紧张 Will everybody just relax for a second?
根本就没有"Steve伯伯"这号人 There's no such thing as an "Uncle Steve".
这是个外星寄生虫 That is an alien parasite.
但是我们从小就认识啊 But I've known him my whole life.
当然不是这样 No, you haven't, Jerry.
这些怪物能心灵感应 These telepathic little bastards,
他们把自己植入你们的记忆中 they embed themselves in memories,
然后就借机繁殖 and th-then they use those to multiply
扩张种群 占领整个星球 and spread out, take over planets.
真是 恶心 It's... it's disgusting.
没有Steve这个人吗 Steve wasn't real?
它不是人 就是坨屎 He's a real piece of shit.
这东西已经长这么大了 This is a big one.
可能它粘在谁鞋底 Somebody probably tracked it in last week
或者某人把什么外星水果带回来 on the bottom of their shoe
这玩意才到我们家的 or on a piece of alien fruit.
- 某人 - 别忙着抢占道德制高点 - Someone? - Get off the high road, Summer.
我们得红眼病 We all got pink eye
还不就是因为你上厕所的时候一直发短信 because you won't stop texting on the toilet.
但是Steve伯伯教我骑的单车 But Uncle Steve taught me how to ride a bike!
不 这东西让你这么认为的 No, "Steve" Put that memory in your brain
所以它才能吃你的住你的 然后繁殖 so he could live in your house, eat your food, and multiply.
可能已经滋生起来了 We could be infested with these things.
我们得小心那些 So we got to keep an eye out
突然冒出来的乱七八糟古里古怪的人 for any zany, wacky characters that pop up.
在这里 Ooh, whee!
你需要什么 我们都乐意效劳 Whatever you want, Rick! We're here to help!
谢谢 便便洞先生 Thanks, Mr.Poopybutthole.
你太靠得住啦 I always could count on you.
本集片头有彩蛋
我们一共只有六个人 All right. There's six of us, and that's it.
我 Morty Jerry Beth 便便洞先生 和Summer Me, Morty, Jerry, Beth, Mr.Poopybutthole, and Summer.
说不定第一只被你及时清理掉了 Rick Maybe you got the first one in time, Rick!
不能冒这个险 Can't afford to chance it.
老爸 为什么我们家会有防爆屏蔽 Dad, why does our house have blast shields?
Beth 这个问题的答案太多了 Trust me, Beth, you don't want to know how many answers
你还是不知道为妙 that question has.
简直要有幽闭恐怖症了 Ooh, gosh, it feels claustrophobic!
让我想起来 Reminds me of that time
我们被困在电梯里那次 we all got stuck in the elevator together.
你 你们还记得吗 浩克音乐剧那次 Y...remember that? After "The hulk" Musical?
不是锤得用力 按钮就会变好用的 Jerry Jerry, buttons don't work better if you hit them harder,
而且泡沫拳套也不会让你变强 and foam fists don't make you strong.
我知道 朋友才会让我变强 I know. Friends make you strong.
刚才的音乐剧我又不是没看 I watched the same musical you did.
为什么不让我把传送枪带上 Why couldn't I bring my portal gun?
为什么所有的饮料都是特大杯 Why did all the drinks have to be extra large?
因为浩克块头大 我才意识到 Oh, the hulk. I just got that.
直接尿裤子好了 我们刚困住的时候我就尿了 Just pee your pants. I did it the minute we got stuck.
好吧好吧 我很丢人 Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, shame me.
好歹我还知道我说的话恶心 At least when I'm disgusting, it's on purpose.
我们会没事的 Oh, y'all, we're gonna be fine.
我一直在你们身边 永远都会 I've always been here for you guys, and I always will be.
有人叫了修理工吗 Somebody call for repairs?
耶 Nicky表兄 Yay! Cousin Nicky!
是我 Nicky表兄 It's me, cousin Nicky.
表哥我两脚生风 现在没有真的在走啦 I'm walkin' here! I mean, I'm not.
我蹲在电梯竖井里呢 I'm crouched in the elevator shaft,
但表哥我举步生风 but hey, I'm walkin' here!
真的 It's true.
我们一家确实会遇到一些奇怪的情况 We really do get into some crazy situations as a family,
特别是这样被关在一起的时候 mostly when we're cooped up like this.
也许便便洞先生说得对 Hey, maybe Mr.Poopypants is right.
我 我们开门通通风吧 L-let's get some fresh air.
别这样Nicky 你听到刚才Rick说的了 Come on, cousin Nicky. You heard Rick.
在确信清理完那些怪物之前 We have to stay quarantined until
我们必须与外界隔离 we know that there's no more of these things.
我明白你的意思 I hear you, Morty.
在布鲁克林那边 我们有个说法 Back in Brooklyn, we got a sayin'...
咱举步生风 "We're walkin' here!"
Nicky 把 Nicky, get ...
啊 Oh!
这 What the...?
Nicky表兄是个寄生虫 Cousin Nicky was a parasite?!
六个人 Morty 我们应该是六个人 Six, Morty! There's supposed to be six of us!
有七个人的话说明其中一个是假的 If there's seven, then that means somebody's not real.
但是你怎么知道是Nicky的 But how did you know it was Nicky?
我猜的 所以瞄的是他肩膀 I guessed. That's why I aimed for his shoulder.
所以我们现在不能相信自己的记忆了吗 So we can't trust any of our memories now?
多亏Nicky我们才找到那艘纳粹潜艇的 Nicky was the reason we found that old Nazi submarine.
难道那件事情没有发生吗 Did that not even happen?
当然有这件事 Well, of course it happened.
现在我拥有了拉咕巴巴魔杖 Now that I possess the mighty staff of rah-gubaba,
世界会在德意志第四帝国面前颤抖 the world will tremble before the fourth reich!
这是我最后一次 This is the last time
请你帮我复习历史末考了Rick I ask you for help on my history final, Rick.
我们布鲁克林专门有个词来骂纳粹 Hey, we got a word for Nazis back in Brooklyn, pal.
我不介意被叫成纳粹 I'm comfortable being called a Nazi.
你觉得我还会在意别的词吗 You think there's some other word that will hurt my feelings?
说话之前动动脑子 Yeah. Think before you talk shit
拉咕巴巴 助我灭了美国 Rah-gubaba, help me kill America!
Beauregard先生 Mr.Beauregard!
充分考虑后 我决定不退休了 After due consideration, I have elected not to retire.
谢天谢地 Yeah! Oh, thank God!
有人是不是要去参加什么考试啊 Now, I believe someone has a final exam to attend.
目标 Morty的高中 Set a course for Morty's high school.
可能我的想法有偏见 但是如果那件事没发生 Perhaps I'm biased, but if that story never happened,
我可能已经不是家里的管家了 then I wouldn't still be the family Butler.
真是不敢想啊 Dare to dream.
等等 Wait.
如果Beauregard先生不是我们的管家 And if Mr.Beauregard wasn't our Butler,
那我们家肯定会遇到更多麻烦 it's safe to say the family'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble.
不 别再回忆了 No! Don't flashback!
你这样只会更肿的 You're just gonna make more swelling,
- 放松 - 别担心Jerry - just relax. - Don't worry, Jerry,
我们已经联系消防队了 we called the fire department.
你知道他们不会再来这里了 You know they won't come here anymore.
橘子酱奉上 Marmalade is served.
- 真棒 - 好极了 - Yeah! - Oh, whee!
我收回原先对英国烹饪的评价 I guess I take back what I said about British cuisine.
接招 Summer Take that, Summer!
我们还要睡觉呢 We're trying to sleep.
我不想一个人去那个舞会 I don't want to go to the dance alone.
那就不要一个人去 Then perhaps you shouldn't.
Beauregard先生 Aww. Mr.Beauregard.
- 我们走吧 Morty少爷 - 我们走 - Shall we, master Morty? - We shall.
等等 在出发之前 Oh, wait, don't leave without letting
先让摄影迅猛龙拍张照 photography raptor take a picture.
别再回忆了 Everybody stop remembering!
这些寄生物就像臭虫 These parasites are like bed bugs,
每次闪回就是一层床垫 and every flashback is another mattress. Look!
屋里应该只有六个人 There's only supposed to be six people in this house.
但是一直都是十个人啊 But there's always been 10.
不对 No!
我写下这个数字就说明 Uh, the fact that I wrote this number down
这里有四只寄生虫 means that there's four parasites.
你能确定吗 Rick You sure about that, Rick?
恕我直言 主人 Begging your pardon, master Rick,
但是关于这个数字 but I seem to recall a great deal of confusion
我记忆中有些不一样啊 surrounding that number.
我们一共六个人 All right, there's six of us.
只有六个 And that's it.
我 Morty Jerry Beth 便便洞先生 Me, Morty, Jerry, Beth, Mr. Poopybutthole,
弗兰肯斯坦 瞌睡Gary 摄影迅猛龙 Frankenstein, sleepy Gary, photography raptor,
Beauregard先生 和Summer Mr. Beauregard, and Summer.
老爸 一共十个人 Uh, dad, that's like 10 people.
六个 十个 有什么区别吗 6, 10, what's the difference?
我只是平白无故地喜欢这个数字而已 I just love the number 6 for no reason!
我的笔呢 Where's my pencil at?
这里 用我吧 Here, Rick! Use me!
多谢 铅笔君 Oh, thanks, Pencilvester!
好像确实是如此 Yeah, I-I g...I guess that is what happened,
但我不懂我为什么那么做 but I-I don't get why I would do that.
每个人都会犯错的 Rick Everybody makes mistakes, Rick.
要不然我为什么带个橡皮呢 Why do you think I have one of these?
对了 照片 That's it. Photos.
照片是确凿的证据 Hard evidence.
我的照片里没一张有你 便便洞先生 You're not in any of my photos, Mr.Poopybutthole.
这能说明什么 Well, what do you know about this?
我的照片里也没有你 You're not in any of mine.
我的照片都是我和学校的朋友的 All I have are pictures of me and my friends from school.
怎么了 哪个十来岁少女的手机里会存家人的照片 What? What teenage girl has pictures of her family?
我们又不是摩门教徒 又不是快要死了 It's not like we're mormon or dying.
我觉得可疑的是 Summer唯一的朋友 I will admit it's suspicious that Summer's only friend
是一只我们没见过的芭蕾舞魔法小羊 is a magic ballerina lamb that we've never seen.
可能是在暗指<宝石宠物Tinkle> 该系列被改编成了3ds游戏
Summer Summer!
Tinkles Tinkles!
现在已经到睡觉时间了哎 It's past my bedtime.
tinkle也有尿尿的意思
让我带你去永不会有该去睡觉时间的乐园吧 Not in never past bedtime land!
走吧 Here we go!
*Summer和Tinkles* Summer and tinkles
此处"致敬"Lil Jon混音版的Cooking by the Book的mv
*我们是朋友* Friends with each other
*生活在无眠乐园* Living in never past bedtime land
*不再尿在水槽* No kitchen sinkles
*不再有烦人的弟弟* No little brother
*尽情狂欢 挥舞双手* Going to raves and waving our hands
*Summer和Tinkle 友情永不负* Summer and tinkle, friends to the end
*群发给所有人 我妈 我哥们* Group text the whole crew, my mother... Friends!
*蘸完茄汁放盐渣 盐渣之后再油炸* Ketchup to the salt, salt to the fry
*给I大写的Inkle加上T* "T" to the "Inkle" with a capital "I"
Summer 我们要睡了哎 Summer, we're trying to sleep.
是Tinkles It was tinkles!
Tinkles Tinkles?
太 太可疑了 That is su... ... Suspicious.
我们经常听说这什么Tinkles We're always hearing about this tinkles character,
- 但是我们从来没有 - 嗨 大家好 - but we never get to... - Hi, everybody.
我是Tinkles 这些是我的朋友 I'm tinkles, and these are my friends.
看到了没 Tinkles是真的 See, everyone? Tinkles is real.
所以说我也是真的 That means so am I.
Summer 对不起 Sorry, Summer. Man, I'm sorry, summer.
这次我要站在干草叉的另外一端了 I was on the wrong side of the pitchfork on this one.
在电影<科学怪人>里面 弗兰肯斯坦被人拿着干草叉和火把追着打
听着 其实我们不需要证据或者逻辑 Okay, look, we shouldn't need evidence or logic
来推出谁是自家人而谁不是 to know who's family and who isn't.
我知道Smith一家都有些什么人 I know who the Smiths are.
我高中就认识Beth了 I've known Beth since high school.
她的老公 瞌睡Gary And her husband, sleepy Gary,
无疑是我最好的朋友 is hands down my absolute best friend.
Jerry 谢谢 Thanks, Jerry.
还有 不想冒犯你们 Beyond that, no offense to any of you,
但是 现在你们都有嫌疑 but all bets are off.
这么长时间心存疑虑 我很不习惯 Look, I'm not used to being this unsure for this long.
我打算就从这个怪丫头开始 一个个瞄着肩膀打 I'm just gonna aim for shoulders starting with the weird girl.
啊 Aah!
- Rick外公 - 不要动 "Summer" - Grandpa Rick! - Hold still, "Summer."
Rick 这是我女儿 Rick, that is my daughter.
万一只是你这么以为呢 Oh, yeah? Well, what if you just think that, sleepy Gary?
我认识你15年了 不要让我伤害你 I've known you for 15 years. Don't make me hurt you.
Rick 这些是我们的家人和朋友 Rick, these are our family and friends,
和我们一起去烧烤的人 the people we barbecue with.
你忘记那次烧烤了吗 Have you forgotten the barbecue?
等等 为什么你让我 Wait, why would you want me to ...
你肯定是寄生虫吧 you're one of them, aren't you?
Rick 你不是很喜欢那些烧烤吗 Rick. You love those barbecues, Rick.
你简直爱死了 嘿 You love them. Hai!
Rick 还记得吗 Remember it, Rick?
闭嘴 培根武士 闭嘴 阿米什半机械人 Shut up, hamurai! Shut up, amish cyborg!
现在什么情况 90年代柯南秀吗 What is this? '90s Conan?
别忘了烧烤 Remember the barbecue.
你知道吗 铅笔君 You know what, pencilvester?
那么老了 我才意识到 It took me my whole life to realize it,
我超爱烧烤啊 but I love barbecuing.
- 你是烧烤高手啊 Rick - 大家 瞧瞧我啊 - You're good at it, Rick. - Watch me, baby.
我简直就是电影"杯中杯"中的汤姆克鲁斯 I'm like Tom Cruise from, um, "Cuisine"
那部电影叫<鸡尾酒>
那部电影叫什么来着 反正他在里面调饮料 or w-whatever that movie's called where he makes drinks.
瞧瞧我多厉害 Yeah, check me out.
我简直就是"杯中杯"的汤姆克鲁斯 I'm like Tom cruise from "Cuisine."
太棒了 Yeah.
是这个名字吗 "杯中杯" Is that what it's called? "Cuisine"?
嘿 大家好啊 Wow! Hey, everybody.
让我们为烧烤大师Rick欢呼吧 Let's give it up for the grillmaster Rick!
Rick Rick Rick Rick! Rick! Rick!
等等 Wait.
不要啊 Noooooo!
快看啊 Shoot. Now look.
现在就像"Waldo在哪里"里面的一页 It's like a "Where's Waldo?" Page.
儿童游戏绘本 在人山人海中找到小男孩Waldo
你能找到我吗 Can you find me?
看这些奇奇怪的角色 Check out all these zany characters.
不要走开 马上回来 We'll be right back after these messages.
把枪放下 I think you should put down the gun
该去看医生了 and we should get you to a doctor.
把外面那些防爆屏障卸了好不好啊 What do you say we take down these blast shields?
我不会这样做的 瞌睡Gary I can't do that, sleepy Gary.
大家听我说 All right, everybody listen to me.
我不知道你们谁是真的 I don't know if any of you guys are real,
但这间屋子肯定有很多寄生虫 but this house has been infested with fake loved ones
他们通过假的回忆来繁衍 that spread through fake memories,
如果他们离开这里 我们的星球肯定会被毁掉 and our planet will be destroyed if they get out.
但是 你也不得不承认 But, Rick, even you have to admit
你有反应过度的倾向 you do tend to overreact to stuff.
大家 赶紧啊 You guys, we got to hurry.
我刚从沃尔玛回来 I just got back from Walmart.
他们现在任天堂3DS系统只卖149块9美元啊 They're selling Nintendo 3ds systems for $149.99 on sale,
Rick手上的包装盒正是塞尔达传说主题的限定版3DS XL
你每买一部 就可以得到一张价值50美元的礼物卡 plus every time you buy one, you get a $50 gift card.
Rick的配音演员Justin Roiland三次元也的确这么干了
相当于税后总价就只有110美元了 Brings the total price down to $110 after tax.
听着 我们现在轻轻松松 Now, listen, we can flip those sons of bitches
就可以把那些鬼玩意儿炒到230美元一件 for 230 bucks a piece easy!
都是限量版的塞尔达传说啊 They're all limited-edition "Zelda" Ones.
快点 快点 跟我来 Hurry! Hurry! Come with me!
我们肯定能赚翻 还能一人留一部 We can be rich, and we also all get to keep one
我们可以玩任天堂的游戏哎 and we can play Nintendo games!
任天堂 免费送我吧 Nintendo, give me free stuff.
好吧 我记得干过那事儿 Okay, yes, I definitely remember doing that,
但是 我肯定不会那样干的 but also, I would never do that.
Rick 别反应过度了 don't overreact, Rick.
- 瞌睡Gary 能说句话吗 - 当然 - Sleepy Gary, a word? - Sure, Jerry.
Rick 冷静一点吧 Rick, keep a level head, okay?
因为我要告诉你一个关于Frankenstein的秘密 'Cause I'll tell you a secret about Frankenstein ...
其实他是 Frankenstein制造的怪物 He's actually Frankenstein's monster.
在玛丽居里的原著中弗兰肯斯坦是疯狂科学家的名字
瞌睡Gary Sleepy Gary,
我脑子里想的全是和你在一起的回忆 m-my head is filled with memories of our friendship.
我可以确定你就是Beth的老公 I'm convinced that you're Beth's husband
我是你的朋友 and I'm your friend,
但如果那些回忆不可信的话 那么 but if those memories can't be trusted, then...
Jerry 照直说吧 Jerry, just say it.
瞌睡Gary 我们怎么知道我是真的呢 Sleepy Gary, how do we know I'm real?
天啊 Jerry Jesus, Jerry.
你就是真的 No, you're real.
看着我 Hey, look at me.
我不知道外面究竟怎么了 Now, I don't know which way is up out there,
但我了解我们自己 你就是真的 but I know us, and you're real, Jerry.
还记得我们的度假吗 Remember our vacation?
他们正在海岸那边拍新的一部"星球大战" They're filming that new "Star wars" Movie down the coast.
- 我们去看看吗 - 好啊 - Should we check it out? - Sure.
何乐而不为呢 Why not?
也许我们能见到楚巴卡噢 Maybe we'll see Chewbacca.
太好了 I'd like that.
我们在干嘛 What are we doing?
我才不管外面发生了什么 I don't give a damn what else happens out there.
我和你总会共渡难关的 You and I are going to survive this.
好的 Okay.
嘿 我们说好了 Hey, we agreed.
在家里不能这样 Never in the house.
Rick 手表还挺酷嘛 That's a cool watch there, Rick.
我能看一下吗 Can I check it out?
别了 Uh, no thank...
好吧 Okay.
是想知道怎么卸下防爆屏障吗 Trying to figure out how to lower the blast shields, huh?
大家不觉得可疑吗 Anybody here think it's suspicious
这里那么多人忍不住想离开这里 that a lot of people in here can't wait to get out of here?
你太偏执了 Rick 你从越南战争那时起就一直那么偏执 Ah, you're paranoid, Rick. You've been paranoid since 'nam.
Frankenstein 等到这场战争 So, what are you gonna do when you rotate back
打完之后 你想干嘛 to the world, Frankenstein?
该死 我要打 ShI-I-I-I-t. I'mma bust a ...
寄生虫 快离开我的大脑 No! Get out of my head, parasite!
放下枪 No! Drop it.
Frankenstein 把枪给我 Give me the gun, Frankenstein!
给我 Give it back!
耶 Yeah!
Frankenstein Frankenstein!
这里有人是真的吗 Is anyone here even real?
地球上只剩我是真的了吗 Am I the only real person on earth?!
也许吧 Maybe.
或者也许吧 只是也许吧 我们都是真的 Or maybe, just maybe, we're all real.
你们认识我的 我是反转长颈鹿啊 You know me. I'm Reverse Giraffe.
我脖子和腿都很短 I have a short neck and legs.
- 我和培根战士一起上的大学 - 嘿 - I went to college with Hamurai. - Hai!
我在越南救了瓶子鬼的命 I saved ghost in a jar's life in Vietnam.
还有 Beth And, Beth, how many times
有多少次你伤心的时候 我都在你的身边啊 have I been a shoulder for you to cry on?
太多太多次了 Too many.
也许我们都是假的 Okay, so maybe we're just all fake.
不可能啊 That don't make no sense!
或者也许这里只有一个人在撒谎 Or maybe there's only one deceiver here ...
那个人一直在告诉我们 the person that keeps telling us
要想拯救世界 the path to salvation is being held prisoner
大家就要变成互相猜疑的屋中囚徒 and mistrusting each other.
嘿 别怪我啊 Hey, don't blame me!
我10分钟前就想射Summer一枪了 I tried to shoot Summer 10 minutes ago!
我知道我们都有对Rick愉快的回忆 I know we all have beloved memories of Rick,
但我们应该相信 but are we really supposed to believe
这位坐着飞车的疯子科学发明家 that a mad scientist inventor with a flying car
消失了那么多年之后突然来到我们这儿吗 just showed up on our doorstep after being gone for years?
对啊 他真的有很多 Yeah, you know, he does have
奇怪的 一听就是瞎编的口头禅哎 a lot of really weird, made-up sounding catchphrases.
Wubba lubba dub dub Wubba lubba dub dub!
Ricky ticky tavi, beyotch Ricky ticky tavi, beyotch!
新闻如如如如上 And that's the wa-a-a-a-y the news goes.
Jack 洗洗睡吧 Hit the sack, Jack.
噢噢 空翻跳 Uh-oh! Somersault jump.
禁止往沟里跳 No jumpin' in the sewer.
汉堡时间 Burger time!
橡胶宝贝宝贝沙坑 Rubber baby baby bunkers!
舔舔舔 老子的蛋 Lick, lick, lick my balls!
哟 Yeah!
经典台词 Say that all the time.
口头禅全是瞎编的 That's a fake-ass catchphrase right there.
更别提他那无比含糊的来历 Yeah, don't forget his incredibly vague back story.
Beth 我可是你亲爹 Beth, I'm your father!
是吗 爸爸 你确定吗 Oh, are you, dad? Are you?
Rick 如果你想证明自己是真人 Rick, if you want to prove you're real,
就合群点 做我们所有人都想做的 just do what any of the rest of us would do and ...
把防爆屏障打开 and... and open the blast shields
放我们出去 and let us the hell out of here!
你倒是逼我呀 名若某老犹太喜剧作家 Why don't you make me, implausibly naive pubescent boy
的毛都没长齐的兔崽子 with an old Jewish comedy writer's name?
这太毒了 In your face!
把枪给我 Give me the gun.
我不想在铅笔君面前下手 I'm not doing this in front of Pencilvester.
把他带到车库去 Bring him to the garage.
狗娘养的寄生虫 给我听好了 You listen to me, you son of a bitch parasite scum.
配合从宽 抗拒从严 We could either do this the easy way or the hard way.
想活命 You know, y-y-y... do you want to live?
就把隔离门打开 Then open the blast shield doors.
闭嘴 Morty 你这脑壳有屎又被洗脑的小子 Shut up, Morty, you brainwashed, little turd
鉴于我也被洗了 甚至可能都不是真人的家伙 that might not even be real because I'm brainwashed, too.
Rick 你以为我们心里好受吗 You know, Rick, this isn't easy for us.
我们的记忆中 你是个很好的朋友 You know, w-we all remember you as a friend.
呵呵 是吗 Oh, oh, oh, really?
我的记忆中 你是坨烦人的屎 Morty Well, I remember you as a whiny, little piece of shit Morty!
- 你确定 - 没错 - Oh... oh, yeah? - Yeah!
你这小屁孩的记忆我有千千万 I've got about a thousand memories of your dumb, little ass
其中愉悦的大概6次 and about six of them are pleasant.
其他的我想起就反胃 The rest is annoying garbage.
何不互相成全 赶快开枪 So why don't you do us both a favor and pull the trigger?
开枪啊 [哔]你老母的 Do it! Do it, mother[bleep]
[哔]的开枪 Pull the [bleep] trigger!
宝宝魔法师是个寄生虫 Baby wizard was a parasite?
我老婆都是他介绍的 He set me up with my wife.
搞什么 What the hell?
我想通了 Rick I figured it out, Rick!
寄生虫只能伪造愉悦的记忆 The parasites can only create pleasant memories.
我知道你是真的 I know you're real
因为有你在的痛苦记忆 我有超多 because I have a ton of bad memories with you!
*我们的记忆* *These memories that we have*
*值得被珍惜* *These memories that we cherish*
*多想回到我们的过去* *I wish that we can go back to that time*
我靠 Morty 你说得对 holy crap, Morty, you're right.
呃 你刚才吼我 Is... is... isn't that what you were trying to make me
不就是为了让我明白这点吗 understand by yelling at me?
当然啦 废话 Well, yeah, duh-doy.
反应真慢 T-took you long enough.
开工啦 Morty Now let's go, Morty.
一大堆的亲朋好友等着我们去杀呢 We got a lot of friends and family to exterminate.
大家冷静 听我解释 Everybody remain calm! This is gonna take some explaining.
对其只有美好记忆的家伙 杀无赦 We need to kill everyone that we can only remember fondly.
谁有关于冰箱夫人的不好的回忆 Who's got a bad memory about Mrs. Refrigerator?
谁都有关于我不好的回忆啊 I-I-I-I... everyone has bad memories of me.
记得那次吗 You remember that one time?
我们尖叫个不停 Ooh, man, we couldn't stop screaming.
冰箱夫人 翻滚列车可不是什么痛苦经历 Uh, roller coasters aren't bad, Mrs. Refrigerator.
那叫刺激 They're thrilling.
而一直以来 你都是我的完美伙伴 And you've been a perfect companion to me my entire life.
露馅了 The jig is up!
让我出去 Get me out of here.
让我出去 Get me out of here!
都给我安分点 如果你不是寄生虫 Everybody back! If you're not a parasite,
就没什么好怕的 Summer呢 you have nothing to fear. So what about Summer?
你跟我到底什么仇 Why am I always your go-to?
- 再进我屋宰了你 - 我没有 - Never go in my room again. - I didn't!
她是真的 She's real.
我的婊姐姐 She's my bitch of a sister.
好枪 Nice.
妈妈 你不是说送我去 Mom, are you driving me to ...
呃 当然 几点 hmm? Yeah, yeah, yes. What time?
我的天 你喝醉了吗 Oh, my God. Are you drunk?
你以为你是谁啊 What are you?
- 我的人参导师吗 - 啥 - My wife coach? - Your what?
- 我靠 - 噢 天哪 - Oh! God! Oh. - Oh, my gosh.
- 妈妈 - 宝贝儿 你没事吧 - Oh! God! Mom! - Sweetheart, are you okay?
- 今天要拍照啊 要肿了 - 我不是故意的 - I'm gonna have a bruise! It's picture day! - I didn't mean to...
别那么大反应 我帮你遮瑕 It's not... don't overreact. I can clean it up.
我要警察叔叔送我 I want the police to take me!
Morty 把枪给这位 Morty, give a gun to the lady
自己过早怀上我 that got pregnant with me too early
然后再也没真正迈过去的女士 and constantly makes it our problem.
谢谢 宝贝 Thank you, sweetie.
- Beth Beth 别 - 我就知道没这么好的事 - Beth, Beth, please! - I thought it was too good to be true
怎么可能刚好你的肾脏和我的匹配 that we'd have compatible kidneys.
算我求你 Come on, man.
难道我们之间连 一时的沉默 Haven't we ever had an uncomfortable silence
或是 驾车旅游有人放屁的尴尬都没有吗 or an awkward fart on a road trip?
拜托了 铅笔君 给我一个理由 Come on, Pencilvester. Give me anything.
Rick 我是铅笔君 Rick, I'm Pencilvester.
听听这个名字 你怎么下得了手 Listen to that name. You can't kill me.
你说得对 You're right.
你来下手 Kill Pencilvester.
Summer 我一直爱着你 Summer, I've always loved you!
没错 Yep.
- 我的天 - 我以为你去演唱会了 - Oh, my God! - I-I-I thought you went to a concert!
我们忘了拿票 为什么要在厨房里 We forgot the tickets! Why in the kitchen?!
我在哪儿都撸 别羞我 I do it everywhere! Stop shaming me!
受害者是我好吗 You're not the victim here!
去死 我刚才意淫的是你朋友Grace I hate you, and I was thinking about your friend Grace!
Rick老爷 Ah. Master Rick.
还记得吗 你没有想要射死我的那次 Remember when you weren't going to shoot me?
我干了管家 哈哈 I guess I did the Butler! Ha ha!
有人懂了吗 Does... d-does that scan?
我懂你 Oh, I-I get it.
你在恶搞<管家干的> It's a play on
多谢咯 罐子鬼 Thanks, ghost in a jar.
你总是很擅长点破鲜为人知的梗 You always were good at pointing out potentially obscure comedy.
你得保护我 瞌睡Gary You got to hide me, sleepy Gary.
别怕 我有主意 don't worry. I have a plan.
只要上了我的船 船上有 If we can get to my boat, there's a ...
不 不 No. No!
送我去见Gary吧 我要和他在一起 Just send me to Gary. I want to be with Gary.
妈呀 Oh, God.
搞什么 Whoa. What the hell?
小心那个流浪汉 Look out for that homeless guy!
把门打开 快打开 Open the door! Open the door! Open the door!
没时间了 快跑 There isn't time! Just run!
出来帮我 Get out here and help me!
都说最好别作死 跑就是了 They say you shouldn't do that! Just run!
呕 抱歉咯 Jerry 你是真的 Ugh. Sorry, Jerry. You're real.
我是个寄生虫 I'm a parasite!
说得没错 但至少你真的存在 Yeah, but you're real.
别 我需要时间去忘记瞌睡Gary Uh, uh, I need time to forget about sleepy Gary.
我也是 Me, too.
从现在开始 大家要注意 From now on, let's all be careful
每次从太空回来都记得洗手 to wash our hands when we get back from outer space.
每个人都要注意 That goes for everyone.
这太郁闷了 This is depressing.
屋里的好人都被我们杀光了 We killed every good person in the house.
剩下的就是我们 好一家子 We're what's left? What a family.
至少我们是真货 Jerry At least we're real, Jerry.
真货 Ricky ticky tavi We're real. Ricky ticky tavi!
点赞 Ooh, whee! Amen to that.
便便裤我饿啦 Now, this little poopypants is hungry.
把猪排递给我好吗 Will somebody pass me a pork chop?
有什么不对吗 Beth I-Is... is something wrong, Beth?
奇怪 但我 Wait, but I ...
- Beth 为什么 - 请派救护车 - oh, Beth! Why?! - I need an ambulance!
发生了枪击 我妻子枪击了 There's been a shooting. My wife shot...
我妻子枪击了我们多年的家族友人 Uh, my... my wife shot a long-time family friend.
我的天怎么办快来帮忙 便便洞先生 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, Mr. Poopybutthole.
- 我以为他 - 呼吸 - I-I thought... - keep breathing!
- 救命 我怎么了 - 看着我 - Oh, God. What's happening? - Look at me!
看着我 别 不要睡 Look at me! Don't... don't fall asleep!
流血而亡就是这样的吗 Is... is this what bleeding to death is?
我就是这么死的吗 Oh, whee. Is this how I die?
我的天啊 Oh, geez! Oh, my God!
你为什么要这么对我 Beth Why would you do this? Beth.
不该这么痛啊 It's not supposed to hurt.
我以为 I-I thought...
他好像气色好了很多 Oh, he... he's looking a lot better.
听着 Beth 别自责了 Listen, Beth, don't torture yourself.
这种事我也干过 I made a similar mistake years ago,
不过是行星级的 but, you know, on a planetary scale.
他还在生我的气吗 Is, um, is he mad at me?
他没打算起诉 He's not pressing charges.
这算是"你枪击了我"情况下的 I mean, that's got to be the "You shot me" Equivalent
不生你气了吧 of not being mad.
我们可以看望他吗 Can he have visitors?
他想一个人待着 He'd like to be alone.
他让我转告 He told me to tell you he's sorry
你对他没有不好的记忆 对此他很抱歉 you didn't have bad memories of him?
如果你真的爱他 你该走了 If you love him, you should leave.
新闻如如如上 And that's the wa-a-a-a-y the news goes.