布朗
夫人的
儿子们
第2季第3集
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen,
欢迎收看《布朗夫人的儿子们》 welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys!
老娘出马
今天大家都为宝宝有点疯了 Hello! Well, it's all baby fever today.
你说啥？ What?
不关你事 别说话 Not you. Shut up!
德莫特和玛利亚 他俩今天头回去产前班 Dermot and Maria... they're going for their first prenatal classes.
啥产前？ Pre what?
都说没啥了 玩你的拼图吧 Nothing! Shut up! Here! Do your jigsaw.
拼个小鸡 It's a chicken.
我说到哪啦 对了 产前班 Where was I? Oh, yes... prenatal classes!
我们那会可没有什么产前班 No prenatal classes in MY day. You must be joking!
你要是问医生 生产前 If I asked the doctor, was there anything
有什么需要注意的？ I needed to know before the birth?
他只会告诉你怎么坐车到妇产医院 He'd tell me where to get the bus to the maternity hospital.
早上好妈妈 Good morning, Mammy!
早上好 宝贝 你还好吧？ Good morning, Cathy. How are you, love?
还好啊 Fine.
凯茜 谁都没想到他有老婆 难过就告诉我 I'm sorry the boyfriend turned out to be married. It must be upsetting.
妈妈 我没事了 都翻篇了 Not at all, Mammy. I'm over that.
那就好 Good.
男人呐都不可信 他们都是混蛋 You have to expect that from men. They're just lying bastards.
难怪这个世界这么混乱 因为男人管事咯 It's any wonder there's so much strife in the world... it's run by men.
只要这个世界是男人领导 How could anything good be done, when it's
就不会好事 a group of men that sit in a conference,
他们在国会里 假装讨论 pretending to listen, when all they're doing
但其实却在想待会要如何发言以示自己的明智 is trying to think of what THEY will say next, so they can sound clever.
可那也是谎话连篇 And even then it'll be a lie.
他们真让人恶心 男人 恶心 They'd make you sick, men... and I mean sick!
让人反胃 每个男人都是害虫、混蛋 Vomit inducing, vermin, rat bastards, every single one of them!
你没事了就好 Well, as long as you're over it.
没错 我想开了 Oh, I AM over it, Mammy.
我以后再也不相信男人了 I'm never having anything to do with men again!
你好啊 凯茜 How are you, Cathy?
混蛋 讨厌 Bastards!
我爱你哦 我做了什么 凯茜骂我？ Love YOU! ..What did I do on Cathy?
Same as you did on the rest of the world. You were born.
爷爷酱 你干嘛呢？ Hey, Grandad, what are you at?
他在拼图呢 He's doing his jigsaw.
是嘛 我最会拼图了 Ah, I'm great at jigsaws!
那你也来拼呗 Well, work away, son!
是个小鸡哦 It's a chicken!
布朗夫人 早上好 Morning, Mrs Brown.
玛利亚好啊 我帮你把书都装包里咯 Ah, Maria. I packed all your books into the bag,
我还准备了笔记本 以防你要做笔记 and I put one of Cathy's notebooks in, in case you need to take notes.
谢谢咯 布朗夫人 我都有点紧张了 Thanks very much, Mrs Brown. Gosh, I'm a bit nervous.
没事 紧张什么呀 Now, there's nothing to be nervous about.
生孩子还没到呢 Not yet.
今天你们很忙哦？ Busy house this morning?
我们待会要去产前班 We are going to our prenatal classes.
真好 去学外语呢？ Ah, lovely! What language is that?
不 维尼 其实是... No, Winnie, it's a class...
玛利亚 她听不懂的 快去吧 Maria, no, don't bother. Just go, just go!
爷爷酱 要走了 一日游时间到 Come on, Grandad, let's get ready for your day trip.
公交车马上就到了 The bus will be here any minute.
今天肯定很好玩 You're going to have a lovely day...
咱小区环游14次呢 14 times around the block.
德莫特走啦？ Is Dermot gone?
走啦 Yes.
他说有话要跟我讲啊 He said he wanted to talk to me!
可你不是"忙于"拼图嘛 You were stuck into your jigsaw!
德莫特 小特 Dermo... Dermo!
他们走了么？ Are they gone?
他们刚走 You just missed them.
哎呀 我还想祝他们玩得开心呢 Ah, I wanted to wish them luck at their prenatal classes.
完咯 Too late!
真好 我也想要个孩子 They're so lucky. I'd love a baby!
要真怀孕了 你巴不得小孩没了 You wouldn't love a baby if you had to feckin' have it!
但小孩一出生 你就觉得值了 Ah, you soon forget the pain once you see that baby.
那是你 维尼 我可不觉得值 You speak for yourself, Winnie! I'll never feckin' forget!
德莫特生下来足足12斤 Jesus, Dermot Brown was 13 pounds 7 ounces!
我现在还会大半夜喊醒他 I still wake him up during the night!
"老娘生你时屁股都要爆了" "You tore the arse out of me!"
我家莎朗生下来才4斤多 My Sharon was only five pounds!
你就丁点大 当然生不出大肥猪咯 Well, you can't expect to catch a shark with a worm!
维尼 我跟你讲 我第一次生小孩那阵 Jesus, Winnie, you should have seen me on my first!
我躺那 雷瑟就我这我的手 I was lying there, Redser was holding me hand.
I looked at him. "Ya baldy bastard!"
And that was only the conception! THEY LAUGH
艾格尼斯 要没你逗我笑该多无聊啊 Agnes Brown, what would I do without you to make me laugh?!
你会"有聊"的 Oh, you'd manage.
你家不有镜子么 照照 You have a feckin' mirror, haven't you?
这特么啥情况啊？ What the hell is going on?!
布朗夫人 对不起 宝宝把你吵醒了？ I'm sorry, Mrs Brown, did the baby wake you?
宝宝？ Baby?!
我这特么昏迷多久啦？ Have I been in a feckin' coma?!
今早上你才怀孕7个月啊 You were only seven months pregnant this morning!
你们在产前班到底干嘛啦 What did they do at the prenatal classes...
去把小孩吸出来啦？ use a feckin' plunger?!
这只是个机器宝宝 It's an experimental robot baby.
给我看看 Show me.
噢 你好啊 小宝贝 Oh, look! Hello! Coochy-coo!
布朗夫人 这是"机器"宝宝 Mrs Brown, it's a robot.
这你哪弄来的？ Where did you get that?
产前班发的 At the prenatal classes.
我们可以报名得到一个"机器宝宝" They were handing these practice robot babies out to volunteers.
好体验一下做父母的感觉 It's to give you a feel of what it's like to have a baby in the house.
这我有经验啊 宝宝哭了就抱抱 I could have told you that! If they cry, you cuddle them.
饿了 就喂 If they're hungry, you feed them.
拉了就擦屁屁 If they shit themselves, you wipe their arse.
我这30年都这样过来的 And that goes on for 30 years!
你们干啥啊？ What's going on?!
有了他 90年都得这样 Make that 90 years.
没干啥 爷爷酱 回去睡觉吧 Nothing! Go back to sleep, Grandad!
狗吵得我睡不着啊 I can't sleep with the noise that dog's making.
那你就别抱着他睡呗 Then, put him out of the bed!
在我妈家它就开始哭 到现在都没听过 It cried like this at my mother's tonight. It just wouldn't stop.
我妈妈也没让它停下来 SHE couldn't even get it to stop!
那把它给我 看看我有办法吗 给我吧 Well, give it to me, let me have a look. See if I can help. Come on.
来来来 我来抱抱你 Ssh! Now, now, now! Come on, come on, come on, come on.
别哭了哦 别哭了 Ssh, ssh, sssh! Come on! Ssh!
布朗夫人 你真行也 Mrs Brown, you have the touch!
养了一堆小崽子 这点本事都没有啊 When you have a litter of your own, you have to learn SOMETHING.
这是摇篮咯？ Is that the basket?
是呢 Yes.
那我来哄吧 你先去睡觉 I'll put him down, you go on to bed.
要这样 我还是不知道带小孩 But then, I don't learn anything, do I?
但你知道有奶奶的好处咯 You learn what it's like to have a granny in the house.
去吧 睡觉去 Go on, go get some sleep.
谢谢啦 Thank you.
来 好好睡觉吧 Now, come on.
你就是玛利亚的育儿老师咯？ So YOU'RE going to teach Maria, are you?
但你教不了她 每个宝宝都不同啊 Will you teach her that every baby is different?
你也教不会她 如何当一个好妈妈好妻子 Will you teach her how important it is to be a wife AND a mother,
还有 如何权衡孩子与丈夫的关系 and not treat either one as more important?
这些你都教不了哦 I don't think so.
这些我倒是了解 I know some things.
但有件事我现在还不会 I'll tell you what I DON'T know.
你身上弄下来的电池 我就不会装回去了 I don't know how I'm going to get these fuckin' batteries back into you!
再来一杯 福利先生 Make that two, Mr Foley.
德莫特 抱歉昨天忘了找你 How are you? Sorry I missed you yesterday.
找我啥事？ So, what's the story?
我现在急着找房子呢 I need to find somewhere to live.
小孩就要出生了 我总不能老住我妈家吧 It's getting close to the baby coming, and we can't stay in me ma's.
谢谢 Thanks, Mr Foley.
我知道一地儿 I know where there's a place.
虽然房子有点小 It's a bit small,
只有两间卧室 only two bedrooms.
两间房足够了 That's all we need.
还有个小前院 And has a little front garden.
很好呀 Lovely!
房租也才每月50欧 And the rent's only 50 euros a month.
太棒啦 Brilliant!
就是一点 你的邻居都是 The only thing is, you'll have Chinese people
中国人诺 living each side of you.
没关系 那地儿在哪啊？ I don't care. Where is it?
北京 Beijing!
每月500块 还两间房？是在七环吗 汗
给我去死 Shut up, Buster!
她是家里的"淑女" She was the posh one in the family.
是吗？ Yeah?
她还来我家住过一阵 Came to stay with us for a while.
她和老公住隔壁 那时我常听到 I could hear her next door, with her husband.
"我快到了" "我快到了" "I'm arriving, I'm arriving!"
艾格尼斯 这阵子我老能 You know what, Agnes? I could swear I could
听到大半夜有婴儿哭 hear a baby crying in the middle of the night.
我们附近有小孩出生吗？ Has someone on our street got a new one?
不是啦 是德莫特他们弄了个"机器宝宝" No, Dermot and Maria got a robot one to practise on.
"机器宝宝" A robot baby?! Mmm.
这么高级 我怀孕那时 就得了个大头菜 Jesus! When I was pregnant, they gave me a cabbage to practise on!
所以你就生了大头莎朗了 And then you had Sharon... the real thing!
艾格尼斯 你第一次怀孕时 Agnes, what did your Redser say when you
你家雷瑟对你说啥了？ told him you were pregnant on your first?
他说："我们结婚吧" He said, "We'd better get married, so!"
这个可以有 That's nice!
他当时就带我去了珠宝店 We were standing outside Kapiniski's Jewellers.
你就看到橱窗那写着"总有一款适合你" There was a sign in the window said, "Come in and pick your ring."
那你买那戒指呢？ Where is it?
没买 我跟他说想要辆自行车 I didn't get one. No? I told him I wanted a bicycle instead!
自行车？ A bike?!
是啊 那时觉得自行车还蛮屌的 Yeah. There was something about a bicycle at the time
想去哪就去哪 that felt like freedom.
戒指总感觉像手铐似的 Something about a ring that felt like handcuffs.
不过也值了 生了我家马克 他可好了 I don't know. I was worth it, to get Mark. He's an angel!
我家莎朗刚生那会 杰克老盯着她看 I remember when Sharon was born. Jacko kept staring at her.
红扑扑的小脸 Little red face...
皱巴巴的 鼻涕口水流得到处都是 Full of wrinkles, snots and dribbles everywhere.
那莎朗长啥样啊？ Aw! What about the baby?
我就知道你又要搞笑 I KNEW you were going to say that!
维尼 每个人都知道我要搞笑啦 Winnie, everybody feckin' knew I was going to say that!
妈妈 这是汤马斯·克劳教授 我的导师 Mammy, this is Professor Thomas Clowne, my course lecturer.
你好 布朗夫人 久仰久仰 How do you do, Mrs Brown? I've heard so much about you!
我是维尼·麦克古根 杰克他老婆 Winnie McGoogan... Jacko's wife!
请问杰克他是？ And Jacko is?
杰克他病了 很严重 Sick. Very sick.
是啊 挺严重的 还在医院躺着呢 Yeah, not well at all. He's still in hospital.
在说啥？ I'm sorry?
我们一起坐吧？ Can we join you?
你请客就可以 If you're buying a drink.
当然当然 Oh yes, of course.
一杯苹果酒还有一杯 A pint of cider and a glass of...
金汤力 Gin and tonic!
反正有人请嘛 It's free!
那就给小傲娇来杯金汤力 A gin and tonic for Lady Muck!
都要加冰加柠檬吗？ Ice and lemon as usual?
那 刚那位结婚了么？ So is THIS one married?
妈妈 他不是啦 Mammy, it's not like that.
He's my lecturer, my mentor!
Jacko had a mentor.
Then he got rid of it and got a Cortina.
Does he take ALL his students out for a drink after classes?
No. I didn't think so.
Mentor, my arse. He just wants to try his bow on your fiddle.
Mammy, it's not like that.
Thanks, pet.
So, how are we all then, eh?
Agnes was just talkin' about you havin' it off with Cathy.
Sorry. I'll get some ice.
Winnie is a bit drunk. I'm sure you are
wondering what I'm doing here with Cathy.
No. She's a big girl, it's her life.
You know she's just been dumped... you know that? Mammy!
Actually, I asked Cathy to bring me here to meet YOU.
To meet me? For what? Thomas is writing a book.
Thomas? What happened to "Professor"?
I like my students to let their hair down.
I like my daughter to keep her knickers up!
Mammy, for God's sake!
She doesn't mean that. Well, I mean, she does I do like to keep them up.
Oh, for God's sake! I knew this was a bad idea!
So, son, you're writing a book? Yes.
He's writing a book. Well done, son.
It's called The Place of Woman in Modern Society.
Sounds shite.
Needs a better title... like Roots.
Mammy, it's not that kind of book.
It's a look at how women have changed over the years.
Jeez, you're right there.
Look at the way Nellie Flanagan is after changing!
My God, when she was a young girl, she'd boobies out to here!
She's 69 now, they're down to here.
She has to pull down her knickers now to scratch her nipples!
I warned you!
No, Mrs Brown, it's about how women have changed over generations within society.
I wouldn't know anything about that.
Well, actually, Mrs Brown, I believe you know more than you think.
I'd love to study you.
Would she have to strip?
Sorry.
No, son, that's not the kind of thing I'm... Mammy?
Can I sleep on it? Is that all right?
Fantastic. Please do.
We were just talking about Maria... getting close to the birth.
Oh, she'll be glad when it's all over!
Yeah!
You know, Dr Freud said that pregnancy and giving birth
are the two times when a woman is truly content.
Dr Freud should shite a bowling ball and tell us how fuckin' content he feels!
Jacko loves bowling.
Morning, Mrs Brown.
Morning, Maria! How are you, love?
I don't know how you do it,
but that robot baby slept right through the night again last night!
You're amazing! It's still asleep!
You giving it back today? No... this evening.
Dermot's off work today so it's his turn to mind the baby.
That'll be interesting!
Well I'll be here all day, so you needn't worry.
Don't you go doing too much, he has to learn, too!
Oh, you must have heard the feckin' kettle boiling!
Well, as you're pouring.
How are you, Maria?
Morning, Mrs McGoogan. How's Sharon?
She's grand. She's trying to lose a few pounds for her holidays.
Oh, God that's not easy for her she has an over active er.
Thyroid? Knife and fork!
I didn't hear your robot baby last night Maria,
bet you're getting the hang of it.
Well, I can't take all the credit. Mrs Brown has been wonderful!
Oh!
When you think of it Agnes I was just as well they gave me
a cabbage to practice on.
I mean, what could you learn from a robot baby?
Lots of stuff. Like how to feed it.
Jesus! I wouldn't let anything near my boobies that had batteries!!
Well then. How to treat minor ailments
like nappy rash!
Spit on a dock leaf and put it on it.
No, that's nettle sting.
It is not. It IS. It's nettle sting!
Oh, I used it for nappy rash.
Can't you just see Sharon running around the playground with
her arse like a Caesar salad!
So what else do you use dock leaves for?
Telling the weather. The weather?
Tie them in a bunch, hang them in your garden and every day
go out and feel them. If they're wet... it's raining.
I'm going to try that. I'm gonna do it right now.
Good girl! If you can't get dock leaves you get the same result with lettuce.
Lettuce... thanks, Agnes!
Mrs Brown, you're terrible!
Ah, it'll keep her feckin' busy!
Right, then. Oh, and before I forget...
the IT man will be here this afternoon to check on the robot baby.
Will you make sure Dermot's here for that?
I will. And don't you be worrying! I'd better get moving. see ya!
See ya, love!
See you later, love. Are you sure you'll be all right?
I'll be grand. Fine.
It's still asleep.
Amazing! I hope we're as lucky with the real thing! I doubt it!
You never know son, you might be! Nah, Mammy.
You won't be able to take the batteries out of the real thing!
Where are they?
Here. Mammy, you can't cheat at this.
The IT fella's coming today and he plugs the baby into a computer
and the computer can tell everything, if it was fed, when it was changed.
Jesus Christ!
Don't worry, I'll just say they slipped
out when I was changing it, or something.
BABY WHIRS
It's just re... booting... it'll take a few minutes!
Do you want a cup of tea? Yeah. While we can!
Grandad! Grandad! There's tea down here!
Must be strange having a baby in the house again!
No. It never leaves you.
I still wake up some nights thinking I can
hear one of you's crying. Did I cry a lot?
I can't remember, son.
You remember different things about each of yous.
I remember Mark was born with a big head of curly black hair.
And Rory, Rory was the easiest birth
and Rory was so cute so feckin' cute!
And me was I curly? Was I cute?
No, son.
You were forceps, by the time I got to you,
your face was like an aardvark's arse.
And you weren't curly, you had hair from head to toe!
I think the nurses thought I was after feckin' knitting you.
But you had those eyes.
Blue, blue eyes.
Oh, full of mischief, but beautiful.
BABY CRIES
There's that baby. It must be re-booting itself.
It's usually louder than that. I'll get it.
Grandad! What are you feckin' sitting' on?
Am I pregnant?
That leg is crooked.
Don't worry about it, he'll grow out of it.
Mammy the IT man'll be here in ten minutes, that glue won't set.
You just go and get ready. Leave this to me!
Wait a minute! I've a feckin' idea!
Thank you for the lift home, Thomas. Pleasure!
Smoked trout.
It'll be dry in no time!
Is she here? I don't know, Thomas.
You see, she said she'd sleep on it.
Mammy! The professor is here.
Oh, shit!
Sit down, Thomas.
Hello. What do you want? I was just wondering, did you sleep on it?
No, Grandad sat on it. It was nothing to do with me!
I swear I never touched it!
What? What? What? What?
Wait. What was your what for? My what? Yes!
Professor Clowne wants to know did you make up your mind about his book?
Wait, the what? What? What was your what?
I didn't what. You did.
Your what was after my what before you asked Cathy what her what was for.
What? I haven't feckin' time for this!
I've something in the oven.
Sit down, Thomas.
Thanks very much for calling, do call again.
Mammy! What? Thomas knows you're busy.
Sit down, Thomas. He just wants to tell you what might be involved.
Fine. There'll be a question and answer session. That's nice.
And then one or two tests. That's nice. Mammy!
That's nice!
Hiya love!
Maria, what are you doing here?
I live here. Well, for now anyway!
I know, but you're early!
Yeah. When I told the ward nurse what was happening today
she let me go early! Will someone tell me what is happening?
I'm sorry. Maria, this is my lecturer Professor Clowne!
He's here to interview Mammy, about motherhood, funny enough.
Well you are talking to the right woman, Professor.
Mrs Brown is an amazing mother!
I have never seen anyone better with babies.
Don't build her up too much.
DOOR BELL RINGS
Maria, get that!
What's happening?
Nearly there, nearly there!
This is Mr Donnellan, the IT Man from the pre-natal classes.
Hello. Hello. Where's the baby?
In the kitchen with Mammy.
Do you want to do it in the kitchen?
Here's fine.
Dermot, get the baby.
Get the baby?
Yes. The baby, get it!
Mammy, they want the baby.
Coming, coming!
It's coming!
Now, there we go!
He has a bit of a temperature...
and a headache.
Maria, I'm really, really sorry.
Will you stop apologising, Mrs Brown? It was an accident.
You were trying to fix it, that's all. Exactly.
I know you wouldn't put a real child in the oven.
Not by accident.
You're taking it very well. Do you think so?
Yes. Just happy, I suppose.
Good. Thanks for coming to the bingo with me. I do love the company.
Ah, I had a great time.
Here, did you see that one sitting in front of us?
Ah, you couldn't miss her. Big bushy red hair, buck teeth.
Looks like she could eat an apple
through a feckin' tennis racket. What about her?
She wins something EVERY Wednesday. Every feckin' Wednesday! Does she?
Mm!
Winnie says she rides a motorbike.
I don't think that's all she's riding.
You still a bit crampy, love? Yeah.
It wouldn't be labour, would it, Mrs Brown?
Labour? Jesus, no! What are you now, 32 weeks?
Yeah.
No, baby might come early but not eight weeks early.
No, it's just wind. And when it goes, you'll know about it.
I let one go when I was pregnant.
Me tights went up like a feckin' balloon!
I'm looking forward to having a baby around the house.
Babies.
You what?
I have to have a scan on Wednesday. Another scan? For what?
Dr Gibney thinks that it might be twins.
Feckin' twins?!
Shh! Shh!
Please, Mrs Brown!
Zip, zip!
I haven't told anyone yet and I don't want to until I'm sure.
You've told no-one?
No. Except you.
Well, in fairness, I think we should tell Dermot.
You're right, I will.
I know so little about having babies, or rearing them.
We're all the same on our first, love.
You find out about having them quick enough.
And as for rearing' them, I'm still feckin' learning.
SHE LAUGHS
What are you giggling at?
I'm just thinking about the innocence of it all.
What are we like? See me on my first?
I went to the doctor for me first visit.
He told me to bring a sample with me.
I brought a feckin' milk bottle full!
I'm sure the poor man thought there was a horse outside
waiting to see him.
He told me to take the sample mid stream.
If you'd seen me in the wellies
in the middle of that feckin' stream?!
And all the fishermen were just staring at me.
I just went, "Don't mind me, I'm pregnant!"
Oh, my God!
So the doctor finishes his examination and I put me clothes on
and he says "Now, Mrs Brown. Have you any questions?"
"Yes," I said. "I have."
Says I, "What position will I be in having this?"
And he said,
"The same position as you were when you conceived it!"
Oh, for two weeks I thought I was going to have to stick me legs
out the feckin' car window again!
Beep, beep!
Mind your horn, you!
THEY GIGGLE
Someone's having a good night.
Just girl talk.
That's all, just girl talk.
MRS BROWN CHUCKLES
We were just talking about your father's driving test.
He failed, he failed!
Oh, don't feckin' start me off!
SHE CACKLES
SHE LAUGHS
Oh, Jeez! I'm after wetting meself!
Oh!
Oh, God! Look!
Stop it, stop it. I think I'll make a drop of tea.
Give you's a minute on your own.
Hee-hee-hee!
Dermot, Maria has something she wants to tell you.
A bit of news?
As the hurricane said to the palm tree,
"Hang on to your nuts, baby. This ain't no ordinary blow job!"
And here, you.
Son, you mind her.
Why?
Just feckin' mind her!
I'll get you one of them for Christmas!
SHE GIGGLES
Well, I have to have another scan.
Not a problem. I'll get some time off work.
Let her feckin' finish!
OK, sorry.
It's just... Well, Dr Gibney thinks it might be twins.
Jesus! Twins!
Two babies!
Usually, yes(!)
Twins! Yeah, I know.
Batman and Robin!
We're not going to call them that, are we?
Of course not.
Dermot, I love you.
More pre-natal classes tomorrow.
Yeah!
Are you nervous? Not really.
Are you?
A bit.
It's all starting to become a little bit real.
Oh!
I can feel a heel sticking out.
That's a bingo pen.
Oh. Must be a girl, so!
Oh, and Dermot?
I don't want anybody else to know, OK? Not until I'm sure.
OK, sure.
CHEERING
Mammy told us!
How do you do that?
SHE GIGGLES
TOILET FLUSHING
What's going on?
Twins!
Nah, but it felt like it.
ALL: Twins!
So there you have it.
That's life with children. Sometimes you wish you had more
and sometimes you wish you'd kept your knees together.
You know, somebody said it takes a village to rear a child.
I don't know about that,
but I do know it takes a family.
GROANING
Shut up, Grandad! You're not pregnant!
I mean, take Grandad for instance.
I don't know how I would've coped without him,
in the early days when the children were younger.
Two, three times a week, he'd call over and take them for a walk.
And children don't forget that, never.
To this day, all my children love a walk to the bookie shop.
Come on, Grandad.
Let's get you up to your bath and your bed.
Come on. Don't forget to brush your teeth.
They're in your pocket.
SHE GIGGLES
Good night!