甜蜜十一月
感覺很棒 That was good.
狗王，大狗，壞狗 Top dog, big dog, bad dog.
誰最厲害？ Who's the best dog?
我最厲害 That's my dog.
誰最厲害？ Who's the best dog?
我最厲害 That's my dog.
我是大壞狗 It's a big, bad dog.
狗王，負責發號施令 Number one dog. Dog at the top.
冷靜點，我們得談談 Slow down, Fido. We need to talk.
-喂？ -文斯 -Yeah? -Vince.
有沒有看到維他歌的銷售量？選對訴求重點了 You see the Vitagirl numbers? You hit that demographic dead on.
對，還不錯 Yeah, looking good.
-談什麼？ -我們 -Talk about what? -Us.
明天此時就能決定熱狗廣告了 We're 24 hours away from fast-food fame......or oblivion.
你要不要簽字？ Will you sign off on that copy?
不要 No.
不要？什麼意思？ No? What do you mean, no?
尼爾森，我們忙了那麼久 Nelson, we've been killing ourselves with this
-為什麼？-文斯，二十分鐘後見 -Why? -Vince, Meet you in 20.
尼爾森！ Nelson!
成長過程有很多記憶 I remember growing up.
-暑假-我餓死了 -Summertime. -I'm starving!
-棒球 -很重要的比賽嗎? -baseball.-Ready for the game?
-當然-要他們好看 -You bet -Go get 'em!
熱狗大亨 ...and Dr. Diggity Dogs.
我們？我們的事要談幾次？ Us? Isn't there some kind of limit on the "us" talks?
一次還好，兩次就嫌多 One, okay. Two, if necessary.
三次就嫌煩了 Three, cruel and unusual.
好狗，大狗 Great dog, big dog.
你忘了要見我爸媽？ Forgot about my parents, didn't you?
我不能去，我很抱歉 I can't make it. I'm sorry.
尼爾森，他們來第三趟了 Nelson, this is their third trip to the city.
你撥點時間出來吧 You could make an effort.
這件事對我來說很重要 This is important to me.
這客戶對我來說也很重要 This account is very important to me.
拜託，熱狗大亨耶，美國大企業 It's Dr. Diggity, practically an American institution.
美國大企業 American institution.
熱狗大亨 Dr. Diggity. Amer--
沒有人會二十四小時埋頭工作 You know, there are people who don't work 24 hours a day.
他們會停下來休息 They stop, relax...
享受生活 ...have lives.
我有生活，安潔莉卡，而且快遲到了 I have a life, Angelica. And I'm late for it.
我不喜歡那句廣告詞 I'm not sure I like the tag line.
太強烈了，應該內斂點 It needs to be deadpan.
-我要再修改-不要吧，效果不錯，沒問題就別改了 -I want to play with it. -If it ain't broke, don't fix it
這種想法太馬虎了 That rule applies to mediocrity.
-我們要求完美 -我們要的是薪水，獎金，升遷 -We want perfection. -We want a check.
你想太多了 You worry too much.
怕輸的人，才會成為贏家 Worrying about losing keeps you winning.
恭喜 Congrats.
尼爾森，你拿了廣告年度大獎 Nelson, you got the Ad Age for the Pelican spot.
給我，搭擋也有功勞 Give that to me.
我就是那搭檔 Look, it says "team." I'm "team."
天哪 God!
-早，摩斯先生-謝謝 -Morning, Mr. Moss. -Thanks.
-文斯 -碧翠，我要喝茶 -Vince. -Beatrice, I'll have the--tea
有聽說艾格普萊斯要複出嗎？ Edgar Price is coming out of retirement.
他已看不慣別人剽竊他的廣告 Says he's tired of being ripped off, might as well rip himself off.
艾格普萊斯 Edgar Price, huh?
曾經是業界的佼佼者 Was the best.
記得很久以前的賓士廣告嗎？ Remember that Mercedes ad?
汽車在外太空漂向你，轟！ The car, floating in outer space, comes right at you.
真天才 Genius.
你看 Check this out.
看什麼？ What?
平衡 Balance.
我的愛將有點子了嗎？ How's my dream team? Got it locked up?
當然，老闆，只要再潤飾… Sure, chief. Just finessing--
不，勝券在握了 No, no, it's all locked up.
-只剩小細節 -小細節 -It's minor details. -Minor.
看見沒？ See that?
照這樣做 Make it happen.
紅色，鮮紅色 Red! Blood red!
我看不懂，她是外國人嗎？ I can't read this. Is English her second language?
尼爾森，你會喜歡的我照你的構想修改 Nelson. You'll love these frames. I ran with your idea.
還是你的看法較好，客戶包准喜歡 It's still your idea, just better. Client will love it.
沒特色 Ethnic.
我要營火，大一點 Give me a bonfire, three-quarter.
-多露點乳溝和熱狗 -那改成三個女孩 -More cleavage, more dogs. -There's three girls.
-改成夜景 -夜景 -Let's make this night. -Night?
這是色情圖片嗎？ What's this, porno?
是你說要新潮一點 You said you wanted edge.
-感覺不到 -找你 -I don't feel it. -There you are.
-鮮紅色 -你忘了一點要補考駕照嗎？ -Blood red. -Forget your 1 :00 at the DMV?
改時間 Reschedule.
碧翠，我沒空 Beatrice, I don't have time.
等說明會結束後再說吧 Wait till the presentation's over.
如果你今天不換新駕照，就要被吊銷牌照 If you don't renew today, they'll suspend your license.
也就是再被員警臨檢到，你就要坐牢了 You get pulled over, they can throw you in jail.
想必你也沒空坐牢 Bet you don't have time for that either.
誰也爭不過交通監理所包括你 Nobody beats the DMV. Not even you.
再見 Bye-bye.
我來處理 I got it.
-要有感覺 -對，要有感覺，鮮紅色 -I don't feel it. -Not feeling it. Blood red.
Blood red! Let's go, let's bleed! 鮮紅色，來流血吧
Thanks. 謝謝
考試時不准交談，吃東西 All right, there will be no talking, eating or drinking...
喝飲料也不准 ...during the test.
如果個人衛生習慣影響到別人 If your personal hygiene becomes a distraction...
就要請你離開 ...you'll be asked to leave.
對不起 Sorry.
如果想上洗手間，請先舉手 If you need to use the bathroom, raise your hand.
麻煩你把那個撿給我 Would you pass me the Colombo, please?
就是那個臘腸 Yeah, the salami.
謝謝 Thanks.
考試卷不能帶進洗手間 You cannot take the test with you to the bathroom.
如果不是從洗手間直接回來 If you do not come back from the bathroom...
考試也算不通過 ...you cannot pass the test.
開始吧 You may begin.
落石區 Falling rocks?
天哪 Oh, Christ!
嘿 Hey.
第九題 Number nine...
對還是錯？ ...true or false?
喔 Oh.
還沒做到那題 I'm not there yet.
抱歉 Sorry.
-但你可以…-對不起 -But when I do mine... -Excuse me.
請把考試卷遞上來 Bring your test papers forward, please.
我嗎？ Me?
就是你 You.
戴圍巾的，對 With the scarf, yes.
我真的沒作弊 I wasn't cheating.
考駕照幹嘛作弊？ Why would I cheat on a DMV test?
你三十天后就可以重考 You may retake the test in 30 days.
你在開玩笑吧？ That's a joke, right?
三十天？ Thirty days?
那是一整個月 That's a whole month.
太好了 Great.
算了 Fine.
我要走了 Guess I'm going.
走了 Walking.
嘿... Hey...
...祝你好運 ...good luck.
傑唐廣告 Shane and Dunne.
-尼爾森摩斯要找文斯 -請稍後 -Nelson Moss for Vince. -Just a moment.
-魯本改好音樂沒？-沒有，他說不必改 -Did Ruben tweak the music? -No, he said it's fine.
可惡 Shit.
別管他什麼 Cut him.
找詹森麥唐諾，把樣本給他，告訴他… Get Johnson McDonald. Give him the sample. Tell him...
-你瘋了 -求他，明天十點 -You've lost your mind. -No, beg him for 10 tomorrow.
-你瘋了 -考得怎樣？ -That's crazy! -How did it go?
拿到駕照沒？ Did you get your license?
-文斯 -什麼？ -Vince. -What?
你聽聽看，對著熱狗大亨狂吠 What do you think about this? "Barking mad for Dr. Diggity."
-真爛 -恭喜你 -That sucks. -Congratulations.
你會閱讀 You can read.
-我再打給你 -不行 -Call you back. -No, no
有何貴幹？ Can I help you?
你能幫我嗎？ Can you help me?
可以 Yeah.
那是你的車嗎？ That's your van, isn't it?
這是你的車嗎？ Is this your car?
哇 Wow.
-真高級 -你不能開車，對吧 -Nice. -You can't drive, right.
沒錯 No.
這是你謀生的... This is the way that you....
好吧 Right.
XX的 Shit.
你一個月賺多少？ How much do you make a month?
看起來應該不多 Doesn't look like much.
我賠償你的損失 I'll cover your expenses.
打電話找我的秘書 Here, call my secretary.
我們再協商 We'll work it out.
賠償是代表你真心懺悔 Is this quest for redemption from remorse?
還是擔心我會坐凹你的車？ Or are you scared my sitting on your car will cause a dent?
坐凹 The dent.
我想也是 That's what I thought.
你幹嘛？ What are you doing?
花錢贖罪 Buying redemption.
今天不是花錢就能贖罪的 Redemption's not for sale today.
抱歉 Sorry.
好吧 Okay.
我註定要下地獄 Guess I'm going to hell.
下來 Get off the car.
好吧 Okay.
再見 Bye.
好了，開始吧 Yeah, here we go.
一定要想出來 I'm gonna get it.
用力想 Get it.
好吧 Okay.
這是什麼？ What is it?
這是熱狗 It's a hot dog.
很燙的熱狗 It's a hot hot dog.
這是熱狗 It's a hot dog.
什麼事？ Yeah?
摩斯先生，我是管理員曼尼 Mr. Moss, it's Manny from downstairs.
樓下有點狀況，有位小姐說了些 We have a bit of a situation. There's a lady here...
關於你私人的怪事 ... who's saying strange, personal things about you.
不行，你不能上去 You can't talk to him!
-沒關係，我來，讓開-你不能上去 -Move over. -You can't talk to him.
我來跟他說，我要跟他說話 I can talk to him. Look, I'm going to.
你好，金主 How are you, big spender?
記得我嗎？我在樓下，要不要下來？ Remember me? I'm downstairs. You want to come down here?
我一直想著你 I can't stop thinking about you.
-他聽得見嗎？ -是的 -Did he hear me? -Yeah.
-你確定？ -他應該聽得見 -You sure? -I think he hear you.
哈羅？ Hello?
我在 Yeah.
好吧，我 Okay, I'll
-怎樣？ -五分鐘後見 -What? -I'll see you in five.
好的，我在樓下等你 Okay, I'm down here.
好嘛？ Okay?
我老婆說 Then my wife, she says to me:
曼尼，你什麼也不會修 "Manny, You can fix nothing."
所以她跟水管工跑了 So then she leaves me for plumber.
-不會吧 -就是水管工 -No. -Yeah, plumber.
你看看，曼尼 Look at that, Manny.
我的白馬王子 My very own Prince Charming.
這輩子沒見過這麼討厭的人 I don't think I've ever met such a royal asshole in my entire life.
你媽知不知道你把女人當妓女？ So does your mom know you treat women like hookers...
還是她教你... ...or did she raise you to believe...
施捨金錢就是對別人好？ ...that being nice means patronizing the whole world?
哦，麻煩來了 Uh-oh, I smell trouble.
-能否借一步說話？ -可以 -Can I talk to you? -Yeah.
再見，曼尼 Bye, Manny.
-你怎麼找到我的？ -我很聰明 -How did you find me? -I'm smart.
我需要有人載我一程 So, I need a ride.
你在開玩笑吧？ Is this a joke?
你害我不能開車 Well, you're the reason I can't drive.
至少載我到一個地方 So the least you can do is schlep me somewhere.
很快又不費事，你的車呢？ It'll be painless. Where's your car?
和你聊天很開心但我還得工作 Been a ball, but some of us have to work.
拜託，別逼我發脾氣 Please don't make me throw a tantrum.
要不要一起裸體？我們住這裡，我們有軟糖和伏特加 Would you like to get naked with us? We have a tub full of fudge!
別理她 Ignore her.
-來嘛，很好玩的 -別理她 -It'll be fun! -Ignore her.
-他真的很可愛！ -你在幹嘛？ -He's really cute! -What are you doing?
知道嗎？ You know what?
你是暴露狂，暴露狂 You're a flasher. A flasher!
-禁止這種行為 -詹森先生和太太 -It has to stop. -Mr. and Mrs. Johnson.
-別走！ -Don't walk away! -我要報警，我要報警 -I'll call the police. I wanna call the police.
-他對大樓住戶暴露下體！-她有病 -He keeps flashing! -Medication.
你瘋了嗎？ Are you nuts?
我住在這裡 I live here.
你有沒有羞恥心？ Do you have any shame?
好，只要載我一程 Well, I just want a ride.
求求你 Please?
對了 Oh, by the way...
我叫莎拉狄佛 ...I'm Sara Deever.
很高興認識你 Nice to meet you.
切換到右車道 You want to get in the right lane.
-先打方向燈 -我會開車 -Put your indicator -I know how to drive.
好吧 Okay.
走80號公路到奧克蘭 You want to take the 80 to Oakland.
-奧克蘭？ -對 -Oakland? -Yeah.
-你說過很快 -我也說過不費事 -You said this would be quick. -I also said it would be painless.
謝謝你載我一程，尼爾森 This is really nice of you to do this for me, Nelson.
很抱歉剛才太過分了，但我需要跑這一趟 And I'm sorry if I went too far, but I did need this ride.
所以我真的很感激，謝謝 So I really appreciate it. Thanks.
在這裡停車 Right here.
你想幹嘛？ What do you plan to do with that?
做壞事啊，不然呢？ Commit a heinous crime. What else?
你會等我吧？會吧? You'll wait for me, right? Right?
你非等不可 Of course you will.
我在幹嘛？ What am I doing?
快走！快走！ Go! Go!
快走！快走！ Go, go, go!
天哪 Oh, my God!
好刺激！ That was so great!
我們像不像鴛鴦大盜？ Feel like Bonnie and Clyde?
不，我可不覺得 No, I don't.
-為什麼？ -他們被槍殺了 -Why not? -They got shot.
-別打開，我不想看 -放心啦 -Don't open it. I don't want to know. -Just relax.
只是毛茸茸的小朋友，跟尼爾森打招呼 They're just my little furry friends. Say, "Hi, Nelson."
有人想拿你們的大腦作實驗 Somebody was gonna do nasty little experiments on your brains.
但我不准 But I wouldn't have it.
你是做什麼的? What do you do, by the way?
我從事廣告業 I'm in advertising.
廣告業 Advertising.
那麼你喜歡嗎？ So you enjoy it?
能發揮所長通常都會喜歡 People tend to enjoy what they're really good at.
那麼，除了工作以外還做什麼？ Besides your job, what else makes you miserable?
我是問有什麼消遣？ I mean, what do you do for fun?
看來沒有 I didn't think so.
沒嗜好？ No hobbies?
沒娛樂？沒怪癖？ No diversions? No kinky obsessions?
突然之間，我覺得你 For one quick second there, I thought you
上車 Just get in the car.
要不要上樓喝杯可哥？ Want to come up for cocoa?
今晚已夠刺激了，還是不要吧 As titillating as the evening's been, I'm afraid not.
好吧 Okay.
我們交換條件？ How about I make you a deal?
上樓喝杯可哥，我這輩子就不再逼你載我 Come up for one cup, and I'll never ask you for another ride.
不了，謝謝 No, thanks.
好吧 Okay.
謝謝 Thanks.
我們明天見，好嘛 I'll see you tomorrow then.
喔，喔，喔 Whoa, whoa, whoa!
等一下 Hold on.
八點？這時間你可以？ 8:00 is good for you, right?
你，我，曼尼，再來一遍 You, me, Manny, the doorman, that whole thing?
請進 Come in.
進去吧 There you guys go.
尼爾森，我能幫你 Nelson, I can help you.
我天賦異稟 See, I have a gift.
能幫助有問題的男人 A special ability to help men with problems.
我沒問題 I don't have problems.
通常這是第一個症狀 Now, see that, usually, is the first sign.
什麼症狀？ Of what?
否認 Denial.
否認？ Denial?
首先，你太賣力工作了 First of all, I think you work too much.
是嗎？你又懂工作了？ Really? And what do you know about work?
懂得可多了 Plenty.
你承認沒消遣，讓你不快樂 You admitted you do nothing else and it doesn't make you happy.
我又沒承認什麼 I admitted nothing. I was silent.
沒嗜好，沒寵物 No special interests, no pets.
你討厭狗 You hate dogs.
被發現了 Busted.
事實上，我有寵物，一條魚 Actually I do have a pet, a fish.
一條魚？ A fish?
不算，魚是冷血動物，抱歉 Doesn't count. Cold-blooded. Sorry.
你是活生生的不快樂案例 No, you are a walking case study.
瞧瞧你 Look at you.
你是病人膏肓的工作狂 You're a workaholic at such an advanced stage...
就快要無法和異性發展親密關係 ...that your intimacy skills have withered away to almost nothing.
再這樣下去，尼爾森 Left untreated...Nelson
你就不會有七情六欲了 ...you could become emotionally extinct.
我只是覺得很好奇 Out of sheer perverse curiosity...
你這種瘋婆子怎麼幫我？ ...how does a lunatic like you help a guy like me?
你好比生活在盒子裡 You live in a box.
我可以掀開蓋子 I could lift the lid...
透點光進去 ...let some light in.
喔，好深奧 Wow, that's deep.
我覺得光聽就快痊癒了 I feel almost cured just hearing it.
好吧 Well...
如果你要我幫忙 ...if you want my help...
就要全力配合我 ...it'll require a commitment on your part.
搬來和我住一個月 You have to live with me here for a month.
不多一天，也不少一天 No more, no less...
還有不准工作 ...and no work allowed.
你才剛認識我 You don't even know me...
就要我搬進來住？ ...and you're inviting me to move in?
那我女朋友會怎麼想？ And how's my girlfriend supposed to feel about that?
女朋友？ Girlfriend?
你才沒有女朋友 You don't have a girlfriend.
否則我一定感覺得到 I mean, it's something you feel.
男女朋友會有某種親密跡象可尋，你看起來就是沒有 There's something intimate a woman leaves on a man that you don't have.
她叫安潔莉卡 Her name's Angelica.
那麼我很同情安潔莉卡 Well, I feel sorry for Angelica.
好極了 Great.
我回去之後再轉告她，我馬上就走 I'll relay that to her when I leave. Which is...right about now.
十月快結束了 October's almost over.
我們可以就從 We can start midnight...
十一月一日開始 ...first of November.
如果你有勇氣答應，我就會全心奉獻給你 If you're brave enough to commit, I'll devote myself entirely to you.
我有勇氣，但我沒那麼笨 Brave enough, but not stupid enough.
你聽好，花癡 Now listen up, moonbeam.
就這樣吧 Here's how it works.
別再騷擾我，別再叫我載你 No more harassment. No more rides.
別再敲詐我 No more extortion.
下次你再到我的公寓來 Next time you come into my building...
我就真的打電話報警 ...l really will call the cops.
這是貴品牌的形象，裡區先生 This is your image, Mr. Leach.
我們調查過主要客群 We polled your primary demographic.
八成九怎麼說? I Know what 89 percent said?
無聊 "Boring."
平淡 "Safe."
我們要丟個炸彈 We need to drop a bomb.
我們要不讓熱狗平淡無奇 You don't want hot dogs "safe."
熱狗是什麼做的？ What's in a hot dog?
別告訴我，我不想知道 Don't tell me. I don't want to know.
有危險性的熱狗 They're dangerous.
賣的是什麼？ What are we selling here?
賣誘惑，欲望 We're selling temptation, desire...
動物本能 ...animal instincts...
貪吃，罪惡 ...gluttony, sin.
讓人類知道自己的本質 We want to show man as he really is.
就是野蠻人 A savage.
人類需要火，需要食物 He needs fire. He needs food.
所以打獵覓食 He hunts and gathers.
得到了什麼？ What does he get?
得到了熱狗 He gets a hot dog.
我們是異教徒 We're pagans.
熱愛自己的儀式 We love our rituals.
支持的球隊打了全壘打，尖叫，欣喜若狂 Our team hits a home run, we're screaming.
我們要什麼？ What do we want?
我們要熱狗 We want a hot dog.
考量十三歲以下的客群 Let's go to your preteen demographic.
兒童，小天使 Kids, the little angels.
他們才不是天使，是怪獸 They're not. They're monsters.
給他們鮪魚三明治，他們不想吃 We give them a tuna sandwich, they don't want a tuna sandwich.
他們要吃熱狗 They want a hot dog!
我們需要女性 We need women.
母親是客群 We've got the mothers...
女兒也是客群 ...we want their daughters.
又回到那個老問題 Let's ask that age-old question:
女性真正要什麼？ "What does a woman really want?"
你知道 You know.
我知道 I know.
她要熱狗 She wants a hot dog.
我們熱情奔放，需要性 We're hot-blooded. We need sex!
需要罪惡、有危險性的食物 We need a sinful, dangerous food!
是什麼？ What is it?
就是熱狗！ It's a hot dog!
就是熱狗！ It's a hot dog！
熱狗大亨，就是熱狗 "Dr. Diggity. It's a hot dog."
不行 No.
不行？ No?
什麼意思？ What do you mean?
不適合我們 It's not for us.
你不瞭解我們公司 You don't understand our company.
我不瞭解？ I don't understand?
你當初怎麼要求？ What did you ask us for?
要新潮 Edge.
這夠新潮了吧 This is edge.
我們決定找貝波廣告公司 We're going with Baker Bohanon.
抱歉，你大錯特錯了 I think you're making a mistake.
我看過你們的銷售量，你麻煩大了 I've seen your sales. You're in big trouble.
才不，美國人最愛熱狗大亨 Oh, no. We are America's favorite hot dog, son.
曾經，曾經 Were. Were.
你們是過時的公司 You're a dinosaur.
銷售量跌停 You're flat-lining.
你們沒救了 You're dead meat.
你太過分了，混蛋 And you just went too far, you little punk.
我要告訴你這個構想如何 So I'll tell you what I really think of your campaign.
這是低級、沒品味的廣告 This is cheap, tasteless crap.
是嗎？ Really?
那是因為你的產品很差勁 That's funny, because so is your product.
尼爾森，夠了 Nelson. Stop it.
我們的熱狗很好吃，混蛋 I make a wholesome hot dog, you prick.
不知道用什麼肉 It's mystery meat.
-尼爾森，冷靜點！ -有毒廢料做成的 -Come on, Nelson! -It's toxic waste in a tube!
你要害死我！ You're killing me!
你要害死我們，害死大家！ You're killing us! You're killing all of us!
裡區先生！ Mr. Leach! Hey, buddy!
剛才是怎麼回事？ What the hell happened in there?
我知道 I know.
那傢伙真不識抬舉 Can you believe that asshole?
去找貝波廣告公司啊 Baker Bohanon.
我常誇你聰明，能力很強 I've always said you're brilliant. A machine.
但我知道總有一天，你的衝動會害慘我們 But I knew one day you'd snap, and we'd all burn.
你在胡說什麼？ What are you talking about, burn?
你知道剛才害我們損失了幾百萬？ You know what was at stake? How many millions you lost?
本公司的名譽全毀了 You just dragged my agency's name through the gutter.
等一下 Hold on a second.
名譽全毀？ Gutter?
我是這家公司的台柱 I'm the best thing this agency's got.
台柱就能發脾氣嗎？ And that rabid dog routine makes you the best?
我可不以為然，你情緒不穩 I don't think so. It makes you a wreck!
隨時會爆發 It makes you a liability.
你需要放假 You need a vacation. Now.
放什麼假 Screw vacation.
給我另一個客戶，拜託 Give me another account. Come on.
尼爾森，你聽見沒？ Nelson, did you hear me?
去度假吧 Take a vacation.
短假或長假，你自己選 Short or permanent, your choice.
你在威脅我？ Are you threatening me?
真爆笑 That's hilarious.
我替公司贏了兩座廣告年度大獎 I'm two Clio's ahead of the game, Ray.
公司不能沒有我 You can't afford to lose me.
你被開除了 You're fired.
再說一次？ Say that again.
我沒聽清楚 I don't think I heard you.
你被開除了！ You're fired!
天哪 God, am l...
見到你真好 ...glad to see you.
你是在開我玩笑吧 You've got to be kidding me.
摩斯先生？ Mr. Moss?
沒事吧？ Are you doing okay?
我很好 I'm fine.
你有包… You have a deliv--
你有包裹 You have delivery.
-放著就好！ -我最好當面交給你 -Leave it! -I do not think you want me do that.
前幾天晚上那個瘋女人送來的 It's from the crazy lady from the other night.
她要我當面交給你 She tell me I have to deliver in the flesh.
放著就好！ I said, leave it!
好吧 Okay.
開什麼玩笑 You've got to be kidding me.
嘿！ Hey!
幫個忙，別再來騷擾我 Do me a favor. Stay out of my life.
再見 Goodbye.
是爾尼嗎？ Is that Ernie?
是爾尼！ It's Ernie!
我好想你！嗨 I missed you so much! Hi.
有沒有考慮我的提議？ Did you rethink my offer?
我不想玩莎拉狄佛的瘋狂遊戲 I don't feel like playing the Deever Mad Hatter game.
怎麼了？ What is this?
-出了什麼事？ -沒什麼 -What happened? -Nothing.
-我可以看看嗎？ -為什麼？ -Can I look at it? -Why?
因為我是吸血鬼 Because I'm a vampire.
因為你流血 Because it's bleeding.
說不定...說不定我能幫你 And maybe...Maybe I can help you.
你想怎樣？你要我怎樣？ What are you after? What do you want from me?
跟我來 You should come with me.
你幹嘛送狗給我？ Why are you sending me dogs?
你今天做了什麼事？ So, what did you do today?
我今天做了什麼事？ What did I do today?
我被開除了 I got fired.
公司車被收回去 They took the company car...
女朋友把我甩了 ...and my girlfriend left me.
太好了 Perfect.
什麼太好了？ Define "perfect."
這… Well...
今天是十一月一日 ...it's the first of November.
我們同居的月份 Our month to be together.
你好像很認真，對不對？ You're actually serious about this.
對，非常認真 Oh, yeah. Very.
你以為我可以就這樣放棄一切？ You think I'm just gonna drop everything?
我不想刺激你，但你好像已失去一切 I don't want to bust your bubble, but it sounds like you already have.
住在這裡 Live here...
好讓你替我洗腦一個月？ ...and let you mess with my head for a whole month?
這個說法有待商榷... I don't know if I would put it that way...
...但沒錯，你應該這麼做 ...but yeah, I think you should.
抱歉，我討厭手錶 I'm sorry, I can't stand watches.
這件事... So this...
你說這是什麼？ ...whatever you call it--
-幫忙 -幫忙 -Help. -"Help."
你要幹嘛？ What are you doing?
脫掉你的襯衫 Taking your shirt off.
為什麼？ Why?
讓你洗個澡 So you can clean up.
為什麼？ Why?
因為你渾身狗的尿騷味 Because you smell like puppy pee.
就只待今晚 Just for the night.
等一下 Whoa. Hey.
好了 Okay.
怎麼呢？ What?
慢慢來 Slow, you know.
溫柔一點 Gentle.
看著我 Look at me.
在這裡做不舒服 This is not very comfortable.
等一下，你要幹嘛？ Wait, what are you doing?
你說呢？ What does it look like I'm doing?
等一下，慢慢來 Wait, just go slow.
怎麼了？怎麼了？ What's wrong? What's wrong?
-你要去哪裡？ -當我沒來過 -Where are you going? -To hell with this!
等一下… But, wait--
請等一下...尼爾森！ Please wait…Nelson!
請你等一下好嘛？ Will you just wait a second?
我無法形容你是如何的怪異 I have no words to describe how positively wacked you are.
-你在生什麼氣？ -今天夠倒楣了 -What are you so pissed off about? -This has been the day from hell.
不必你來教我怎麼做愛 I don't need you telling me what to do in the sack!
-抱歉，我不是故意的，只是…-只是怎樣？ -I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I just-- -Just what?
非得遵守你的遊戲規則？ Making sure your game was going according to plan?
-這不是遊戲 -不是嗎？ -It's not a game. -Really?
不然是什麼？ Then just what is it exactly?
我想幫你忙 I'm trying to help you.
我不需要幫忙 I don't need help.
這樣做最好 It doesn't get much sweeter than this.
我提議的是雙贏局面 What I'm offering is a win-win situation.
是嗎？對你有什麼好處？ Yeah? And what do you get out of it?
我可以幫你忙 I get to help you.
真搞不懂你，這件事… I don't understand you. This whole thing--
你不必搞懂我 You don't need to understand me.
只要順其自然就好 You just need to let it happen.
請你別走 Please, don't go.
為什麼？ Why not?
我知道你不想走 Because I know you don't want to.
你有沒有考慮過當推銷員？ Have you ever considered a career in sales?
沒有 No.
你應該考慮 Well, you should.
你很無情 You're relentless.
尼爾森... Nelson...
你願意當我的十一月嗎？ ...would you like to be my November?
願意 Yes.
-你好，請問芳名？-柔卡 -What's your name? -Raquel.
好美的名字 That's a beautiful name.
我的摩卡要多加點巧克力 Could you put an extra shot of chocolate in my mocha?
巧克力可以催情 Chocolate's an aphrodisiac. Did you know that?
你穿制服很好看 You look great in that smock.
-文斯 -你在哪？我找你好久了 -Vince. -Where are you? I've been calling--
-艾格普萊斯 -艾格普萊斯？ -Edgar Price. -Edgar Price?
-艾格普萊斯 -為何提艾格普萊斯？ -Edgar Price. -Edgar Price. What, what, what?
-能不能和他見個面？ -你和我？ -Can you get us a meeting? -You and me?
你和我，艾格普萊斯的新公司 You and me. Edgar Price's new company.
-有興趣嗎？ -太好了，好主意 -Game? -That's brilliant. That's genius.
我來約，公司這我和蠢蛋希利搭擋 I'll do that. They stuck me with that loser, John Heedley.
-做不下去了 -文斯？ -Can't go on like this. -Vince?
-有消息再通知我 -沒問題 -Call me with news. -Absolutely.
嘿！ Hey!
-別再談公事了 -為什麼？ -Stop what you're doing, right now. -Why?
因為你每天都過著千篇一律的生活 Because it's the same boring thing you do every day of your life.
在我家不能這樣 And you can't do that with me.
電視怎麼了？ What's wrong with your TV?
早安 Good morning.
電視不能看 It doesn't work.
當然不能看，那是花盆 Of course it doesn't. It's a planter.
好吧 Right.
-我的衣服呢？ -我送人了 -Where are my clothes? -I gave them away.
你什麼？ You what?
我送人了 I gave them away.
哦，但是... Oh, but...
你看 ...look at this.
很棒，寶貝 Oh, yeah, baby!
無拘束，不必再穿西裝 Freedom. No more suits.
我替你要了這些衣服 I got you those.
莎拉，這不會有幫助的。把襯衫和長褲還我 Sara, this is not helpful. Give me my shirt and pants back.
幹嘛？只是衣服嘛 What? It's clothes.
都是遮掩身體，有何差別？ It's just gonna cover your body. What do you care?
你喜歡乳酪嗎？ Hey, do you like cheese?
嗨，爾尼 Hey there, Ernie. Hi!
爾尼！你難過嗎？想念你的兄弟嗎？ Ernie, are you sad? Do you miss your brother?
找到別人領養你之前就跟我住吧 You'll stay with me until we find you some decent parents.
對了，幾時帶我見你爸媽？ Hey, by the way, when do I get to meet your parents?
我爸媽都過世了 My parents are dead.
我很遺憾 I'm sorry.
莎拉，別鬧了，衣服還我。快點 Sara, I'm not amused. I want my clothes back. Now.
我說過我送人了 I told you, I gave them away.
我保證我絕不會騙你 I promise, I'll never lie to you.
怎樣 So...
你吃不吃素香腸，素煙肉 ...would you like vegan sausage, vegan bacon....
也只有這些食物 That's all we got now. Huh?
我會用很多素奶油來煎，香脆又好吃 I make it with a lot of vegan butter so it gets nice and black and crispy.
如果你不愛吃，我就換個方式烹調 But if you don't like it that way, I won't make it that way, okay?
嘿，嘿 Hey, hey.
昨晚失眠只睡三小時 Three hours sleep last night.
試了吃擷草根、血清素及看購物頻道 Tried valerian root, melatonin, the Shopping Channel.
你知道什麼最有效？ You know what did the trick?
-什麼？ -卡格尼的電影 -What? -Jimmy Cagney.
“人民公敵”，把暴力當作鎮定劑 Public Enemy. Violence as a tranquilizer.
很變態吧？ How twisted is that?
你今天好性感 You're looking very sexy today.
-真的嗎？ -真的 -Yeah? -Yeah.
哇 Wow.
我確定這是我最喜歡的運動衣 I do believe that is my favorite sweatshirt I see.
你一定是十一月 You must be November.
我一定是十一月？ I must be November?
他是尼爾森 That's Nelson.
尼爾森，你好 Hey, Nelson. How are you?
-我是卻斯-嗨 -I'm Chaz. -Hey.
知道嗎？ You know what?
運動衣留著，你穿起來很好看 I Keep the sweatshirt. It looks better on you.
這是某種社區…共有的怪癖交換條件嗎？ Is this some kind of a communal-culty-squeaky-Charlie type of deal?
真好笑，他很幽默 That's very good. He's really funny.
比十月先生好，那傢伙真討厭 Much cooler than October. A lot of good he was.
我必須走了 I gotta go.
-我愛你，寶貝 -我愛你 -I love you, baby. -I love you.
-你不吃東西嗎？ -要我變成你這麼胖？ -You sure you don't want any food? -And get fat like you?
-再見，尼爾森 -再見 -See you around, Nelson. -See you.
我想趁還來得及，先取消我們原先的約定 I think I'll pull myself out of monthly rotation while I'm ahead.
什麼？尼爾森 What? Nelson.
-剛才是誰？你情夫嗎？ -卻斯嗎？ -Who the hell was that, your pimp? -Chaz?
卻斯住樓下，我們只是互相照顧 Chaz lives downstairs. We look after each other.
卻斯應該能照顧自己 I think Chaz can take care of himself.
他只需好好睡上一覺 He just needs a good night's sleep.
-甜心，你好 -尼爾森，他是… -Hi, sweetheart, how are you? -Hey, guys. Nelson....
-抱歉 -沒關係 -Sorry. -It's okay.
我本想介紹你，那是艾爾和奧塞莉 I was trying to introduce you. That's AI and Osiris.
書店是他們開的 They own that bookstore.
以前和傑克凱魯亞克是好友 They used to be friends with Jack Kerouac.
管他的，我又不看書 I don't care. I don't read.
莎拉，給我十五元 Sara, can you spare 15 bucks?
布魯斯，我才送你衣服，你還那麼貪心？ Bruce, I gave you those clothes. Why are you so greedy?
那是我的襯衫！還有我的褲子！ That's my shirt! Those are my pants!
-施捨的感覺很好吧？-不好！ -Doesn't it feel good to give? -No!
-你是十一月嗎？ -這是哪裡？ -You November? -Where am l?
我來介紹 You have to meet.
尼爾森，他是艾納。艾納，尼爾森 Nelson, this is Abner. Abner, Nelson.
艾納想創新世界紀錄 Abner's gonna set a world record one day.
-今天要挑戰什麼？ -單腳站立，要不要替我計時？ -What's today's project? -Standing on one leg. Want to time me?
目前紀錄是三百小時 I have to break the record of 300 hours.
-不要-輸家 -No. -Loser.
找點正事 Get a life.
罵得好 Good one.
十歲小孩就能激怒你？ You let a 10-year-old wind you up?
別管他了，你呢？ Forget him. What about you?
你和附近大半的男人上過床 You sleep with half the city, get the whole neighborhood involved.
-你希望我是處女？ -若有選擇的話，希望 -You'd prefer if I was a virgin? -Considering the alternative, yes.
我是你的 I'm yours.
專屬你一個人 All yours.
莎拉，你人很好 Look, Sara, you're great.
你性感、聰明、風趣，很不尋常的女子 You're a very sexy, smart, interesting, somewhat unusual woman.
但我們...我習慣先把話說清楚 But we-- I always think it's best to clarify issues.
你是我見過最自以為是的人 You are the most egotistical man I've ever met.
才一個月而已 I am talking about a month.
事實上我挪不出一個月，時間就是金錢 The truth is, I don't have a month. Time is money.
好吧，只是…會耽擱 Okay. Let's just--How long do you think...
你那高薪工作多少時間？只是，只是… ...you could put this big, lucrative career of yours on hold? Just, just--
天哪，我在說什麼？你失業了！ God, what am I talking about?! You are unemployed!
你沒工作！你被開除了，尼爾森 You don't have a job! You got fired, Nelson.
沒什麼事等著你去做 You have nothing to go back to.
我越想越不對，你的提議只是找人上床的藉口 This project of yours feels like an excuse to get laid.
莎拉，對不起 Sara, I'm sorry. I....
莎拉，我不是故意… 我以為你… Sara, I didn't mean to-- I didn't think you'd--
我不懂你為何要這麼做 I don't understand why you're doing this, is all.
我說過了 I told you.
我自有理由 I have my reasons.
還是朋友嗎？ Still friends?
除非你答應我的要求 Only if you give me what I want.
什麼要求？ What?
時間 Time.
-我只能陪你一天 -我接受 -All I can do is a day. -I'll take it.
好吧 Okay.
我接受 I'll take it.
我隨時樂意開發新事業 Always a thrill to explore new career possibilities.
這樣要收多少錢？ How much do you charge?
-我不是為了錢 -不然為什麼？ -I don't do this for the money. -Why do you do it?
因為我喜歡，你可以解開皮帶 I like it. You can take them off the leashes.
過來，我知道你們很興奮 Come on. Oh, yes, you're so excited, I know.
你們要去狂歡了 Yeah, you go raise some hell.
不能說出去，放開它們吧，尼爾森 Don't tell your mom, okay? You can let them go, you know, Nelson.
來吧！ Come on!
來吧！我們走，來吧！ Come on. Let's go. Come on!
別踩在我身上 Get off me!
告訴我…你上次整天待在戶外是幾時？ So when was the last time you spent a whole day outside?
九歲那年爸媽拖我去阿卡卓島 When my parents dragged me to Alcatraz for the day at the age of 9.
哇 Wow.
-換你告訴我了 -問吧 -Now you tell me something. -Anything.
今天的活動有何啟發性？ What was so enlightening about what we did today?
放狗亂跑為何好過我的生活？ Why is letting some dogs go wild a better way to live than my way?
我承認蠻好玩的，但老實說我們這樣過 Granted, it was mildly amusing, but my third eye didn't open.
這種事需要時間 Well, these things take time.
你沒時間 And you don't have time.
不，這是價值問題 No, seriously. It's a question of values.
做些微不足道的事 Why is doing something fundamentally trivial better...
為何好過有責任的生活？ ...than living a responsible life?
你覺得那很無聊嗎 Boring as that might seem to you.
你憑什麼自命為專家、醫生、精神導師？ And who made you the expert, the doctor, the guru?
你為何無所不知？ Why do you have all the answers?
我開過一家寵物美容店 Well, I used to own this company called Sublime Pets.
是真的 No, I really did.
後來覺得不好玩，就關了 And then I quit. It wasn't fun anymore, you know.
在你巡迴表演喜劇之前或之後？ Before or after you toured as a standup comedian?
我沒表演過喜劇 I never did that.
這樣... Well, this....
這樣對你有好處 This would be really good for you.
讓你的本能更敏銳 Sharpen your instincts.
不，不 No, no.
不是那種本能 Not those kind of instincts.
遊戲的目的...把手拿開 So the object of the game--Get your hands off me.
是...我先跑，讓你追不到 I run around. You lose track of me. Then you--
不准偷看，把手拿開 No, no peeking. Hands off.
數到十 Count to 10...
來找我 ...then come find me.
一、二、三...我一定要抓到你 One, two, three-- I'm gonna get you.
四、五、六...我知道你在哪 Four, five, six--I know where you are.
七、八、九、十 Seven, eight, nine, ten.
尼爾森，你真糟糕 Oh, Nelson, that was terrible.
連邊都沒碰到 You didn't even get close.
好笑嗎？ This is funny?
很抱歉，你沒事吧？ I'm sorry. Are you okay?
莎拉，你不會生氣吧？我今晚就走 Sara, you're not going to be upset when I leave tonight?
我說過只有一天 I told you one day.
對，沒錯 Yeah, of course.
我十月和米契同居 Mitch was my October.
他好害羞 He was so shy.
可能是我見過最害羞的人 I think he was the shyest man I've ever met.
所以 So...
我要讓他更有自信 ...we focused on strengthening his confidence.
病人痊癒了嗎？ And was the patient cured?
痊癒了 Oh, yeah.
我的療程太有效 My treatment was so effective...
那個月還提前結束同居 ...that we had to terminate the month early.
九月呢？ And what about September?
沒有九月 No. No September.
怎樣？ What?
我又不是每個月都有 You didn't think I was weird about it, did you?
你和這麼多男人…？ And you and all these guys...?
有那麼重要嗎? Does it matter that much to you?
為何一個月？ Why a month?
因為時間太長會節外生枝，時間太短又沒意義 It's long enough to be meaningful and short enough to stay out of trouble.
很好吃 It was delicious.
謝謝 Thanks.
不早了 It's getting late.
是啊，別操心，我來整理 Don't worry about this. I'll clean it up.
你回家後想幹嘛？ What are you gonna do when you go home?
不知道 I don't know.
晚上的事我通常沒計畫 I don't usually map out my evenings.
你回家後 You're gonna go home.
就打開電視 Turn on your TV.
無聊 Get bored.
打開電腦 Turn on your computer.
檢視工作內容，無聊 Go through your work. Get bored.
上網流覽 Surf the net.
無聊 Get bored.
然後想我 And think of me.
爾尼 Ernie.
我想偶爾錯一次 Try to be wrong once in a while.
對自我有好處 It'll do my ego good.
-我還是不懂為何不搭計程車 -規則是我訂的，尼爾森 -I don't see why we didn't take a cab. -Because I make the rules, Nelson.
你要徹底地全盤遵守 Rules you must submit to, utterly and completely.
如果你要我當性奴隸 If you want to be a dominatrix that bad...
我們何不去買些道具來用？ ...why don't we buy you the leather and get it over with?
喔，我欲火焚身了 I think I'm strangely aroused.
艾納在那裡 That's Abner.
嗨 Hi.
是你嗎？ Is that you?
他有臉耶，而且蠻帥的 He's got a face. It's a good one too.
-等很久了嗎？ -沒有 -Did you wait long? -No.
那就好 Good.
那是什麼?你居然還帶著 What is that? You didn't.
-你居然還帶著！ -又如何？ -You did not bring that! -What can I say?
-喂？ -請叫我天才 -Yeah? -Just call me genius, I don't mind.
-什麼事，文斯？ -什麼事？ -What up, Vince? -"What up"?
你、我、艾格普萊斯，十一月十七日星期五，就這件事 You, me, Edgar Price, November 17th, Friday. That's what up.
我是你的軍師 I'm your rainmaker.
-天才 -你也該誇我了 -You're a genius. -It's about time you said so.
我聽說安潔莉卡和你分手了，我很遺憾 I heard about Angelica. I'm sorry.
我討厭她，她反正不適合你 As much as I knew, she wasn't right for you.
-你是不是有新女朋友了？ -此話怎講？ -So do I smell new female friend? -What makes you say that?
你沒回我電話 You don't return my calls.
肯定有女人，別侮辱我，我也有性生活 There's estrogen in the air. Don't insult me.
她是誰？ Come on, who is she?
-你不認識 -那麼我會討厭她嗎？ -You wouldn't know her. -But would I despise her?
我問你，從一到十給她評個分吧 That's the question. On a scale of 9 to 10, is she a 9 or a 10?
我要掛了，謝謝你安排和普萊斯見面 Listen, I gotta run. Great news on the Edgar Price thing.
下水了 Go launch it, okay?
好酷，才怪 Oh, that's really cool. Not.
那是什麼？破小船？ What is it, Pokemon's dinghy?
下水吧，所有的船都下水 All right, let's do this. All boats in the water.
-那小子的除外 -他不是小子，是小姑娘 -Except for this kid's. -That's not a kid, that's a girl.
-我還是退出吧 -別理他們，艾納 -Maybe I should forget about it. -Just ignore them, Abner.
艾納？ Abner?
艾納加油 Hang in there, Ab.
所有的船都下水 All boats in the water.
好了，比賽開始 Let's do this.
禱告吧，艾納 Say your prayers, Abner!
艾納加油！ Go, Abner!
打擾一下 Excuse me.
-想賺百元美鈔嗎？ -想啊 -You want to make a hundred bucks? -Sure.
艾納加油！加油！ Come on, Abner! Come on!
我的船… Hey, my boat's all--
怎麼回事？ What's going on?
穩住，穩住！ Straight. Straight!
艾納加油！你辦得到！ Come on, you can do it!
我要贏了 I guess I'm winning.
-等等，那個臭小子作弊 -才沒有，我的船比較好 -That little creep is cheating. -No, I'm not. My boat's just better.
艾納加油！ Go, Abner!
我贏了 I guess I won.
真好玩，下次比賽遙控車吧？ That was fun. Next time can we do it with cars?
-好啊 -不行 -Sure. -No.
-再見 -艾納，再見 -Bye. -See you, Abner.
-晚安 -晚安 -Good night. -Good night.
你今天做了件好事 You know, that was really nice what you did today.
謝謝 Thanks.
-但對他沒好處 -此話怎講？ -But it's not gonna help him. -What do you mean?
他會遇到很多阻礙 He's gonna have a lot of obstacles...
要學著面對挑戰 ...and he has to learn to deal with them.
別的小孩都在笑他，你沒被嘲笑過嗎？ Those kids were laughing at him. You ever been laughed at?
好吧，作弊不好 Okay, cheating's bad, I guess.
他把你當成父親 You're a father figure now.
父親？我才剛認識他 Get out of here. The kid just met me.
沒爹的孩子不會太挑剔 When you don't know your dad, you're not picky.
你看，尼爾森，那才是生活 Look at that, Nelson. That's life.
每天在我們的周遭隨處可見 It's just happening around us all the time.
我覺得好美 I think that's so beautiful.
談談你的秘密 Tell me your secret dream.
我沒什麼秘密 I'm not much on that kind of thing.
少來，大家都有 Oh, come on. Everybody's got one.
酒後才會吐真言，說吧 One they only tell after a couple of drinks. Tell me.
我爸是逐家逐戶拜訪的推銷員 My father sold door-to-door.
吸塵器、壽險 Vacuum cleaners, life insurance.
還推銷過食品模型 For a while he even sold plastic food.
鄰居都拿我們當笑柄 We were kind of the joke of the neighborhood.
相信我，我們居住的環境很差 And believe me, the neighborhood was a pretty grim joke itself.
-你在哪裡長大？ -這裡 -Where'd you grow up? -Right here.
房子還在我名下，只是沒再去過 I still own the house, but I never go there.
反正... Anyway...
每天晚上...晚餐後他就會... ...every night after dinner, he would...
關在房裡看電視 ...shut himself in the TV room...
聽舊年代的唱片 ...and listen to 45s:
巴比戴林、培利柯莫湯尼班奈 Bobby Darin, Perry Como, Tony Bennett.
曾經有一年... For a year or so...
我好想當歌手 ...l desperately wanted to be a singer.
為了讓他開心? You thought it would make him happy?
不是 No.
我覺得那些歌手... I thought those guys...
都擁有他欠缺的特質 ...were everything he wasn't.
成功,自豪... Successful, proud...
掌控一切 ...in control.
我想聽你唱歌 I'd like to hear you sing.
那是永遠不可能的 That will never happen.
總有一天 Come on. One day.
總有一天你會唱給我聽，對嘛？ One day you'll sing for me, right?
要幹嘛? What are we doing?
電影再十分鐘就要開始，算了吧 The movie starts in 10 minutes. Should we skip it?
我替你買咖啡，先找哪裡有賣，別緊張 I'll get you a cappuccino. I can find a cappuccino. Relax.
真希望能全部吃光 I hope that I can eat all of this.
喔，我的天啊 Oh, my God!
有人變為家庭主夫了。好吧，好吧 Somebody went domestic on me. Okay. Well, okay.
我懂了，一切都說得通了。揭穿神秘女子的面紗 I get it. It all makes sense. Mystery woman, unveiled.
這是哪裡？世外桃花源？ What kind of Bohemian backwater is this?
他們朗頌詩歌嗎？ Do they read poetry here?
莎拉，他是文斯。文斯，她是莎拉 Sara, Vince. Vince, Sara.
-嗨 -很高興認識你 -Hey. -Very nice to meet you.
-我要走了-我說錯了什麼？ -I gotta go. -Was it something I said?
文斯，看電影了 Vince, the movie.
她是我好友... Oh, that's my good friend, um....
忘了她的名字？ What, you can't remember her name?
記不記得名字無所謂，我只管付帳就好 She doesn't care as long as I remember to pick up the check, right?
真不可思議 That's incredible.
那是我聽過關于女性行為... I mean that is, I think, the most astute observation...
最聰明的觀察 ...of female behavior I've ever heard.
她好風趣.你很風趣，真好笑 She's funny. You're funny. That's funny.
他是我好友尼爾森，她是他的好友... This is my very good friend Nelson, and his very good friend....
-請問芳名？ -莎拉 -Tell me. -Sara.
-嗨，蕾西 -嗨，很高興認識你 -Hi. Lexy. -Hi, nice to meet you.
蕾西，莎拉 莎拉，蕾西 Lexy, Sara. Sara, Lexy.
改天聚聚喝酒狂歡，意下如何 We should all go out sometime, get drunk and nasty.
立刻外帶一杯咖啡 Quick order: one cappuccino to go.
立刻回答：沒立刻外帶 Quick answer: no quick orders.
好吧，這裡很棒，每天都來光顧 Okay. We love this place. We'll be back every day.
我去陪蕾西了，記住十七日，你、我和上帝 I gotta go take care of Lexy. Remember the 17th: you, me and God.
莎拉，很高興認識你，我很榮幸 Sara, very nice to meet you. It was an honor.
很開心 Very entertaining.
上帝！哇 God! Wow.
快遲到了，都是你害的 We're going to be late, and it's your fault.
他本性其實不錯 He's actually a good guy, deep down.
某方面 Somewhere.
是啊 Yeah.
我指的是...伶牙俐齒 I just mean the glibness...
多聽幾句就很討人厭 ...kind of wears you out after a while.
你信任他嗎？ Do you trust him?
像朋友一樣 Like friends do, you know.
-他會陪著你嗎？ -什麼時候？ -Do you think he'll be there for you? -When?
比如你驚慌失措時 Like a scary situation or something.
你可能有注意到 You may have noticed...
我不會讓自己驚慌失措 ...l don't put myself in scary situations.
這樣吧，我們去你老家看看 Hey, you know what? Why don't we go see that house you grew up in?
要不要去？ Want to do that?
沒那麼可怕吧？ That's not too scary, is it?
不過就是一棟房子 It's just a house.
我一直堅持不回來 I tried so hard not to come back here.
對不起 Sorry.
莎拉？ Sara?
很多事我都不懂，不過我會跳慢舞 I know I don't know a lot of things, but I do know how to slow dance.
你跳得很差勁 You're terrible.
我來教你 Here, let me show you.
前幾天看到你的網站 I looked up your Web site the other night.
你妹很漂亮，跟你很像 You sister's pretty. Looks a lot like you.
那不是我的網站了，不再是我的了 But it's not my Web site anymore. It's not my anything anymore.
為何不做了？ Why'd you quit?
原本規模小，後來擴大營業 It started out small and then it got big.
作生意本來就要愈作愈大 That's generally considered a good thing in business.
是嗎？什麼都愈來愈大 Yeah, well, everything got big.
自我、生活、欲望 Egos, lives, desires.
我不喜歡自己野心變大 I didn't like the big me.
我不快樂 I wasn't very happy.
你知道什麼事最不可思議嗎？ You want to know the most amazing part of it all?
什麼事？ What?
我在規模擴大前就抽手了 I got out before it got really big.
你能想像嗎？ Can you imagine that?
不能，我無法想像你有錢的樣子 No, I can't imagine you with millions and millions of dollars.
你換了咖啡豆嗎？ Did you change the beans?
榛果口味，你不喜歡？ It's hazelnut. You don't like it?
說實話？味道像駱駝尿，還是用傳統咖啡豆吧 Honestly? Tastes like camel piss. Let's stick to the classics.
抱歉，有沒有聽過隱私權？ Excuse me, privacy. Heard of it?
你的胸肌好結實，尼爾森，有練過嗎？ Very impressive set of pecs you got. You work out, then?
我就沒時間練 Me, haven't got time.
你的胸部就令人垂涎欲滴 Your pecs on the other hand, darling, are edible.
別忘了八點吃晚飯 Now don't forget, dinner's at 8.
要打扮，因為我們要吃飯跳舞 It's dressy, because we're gonna eat and we're going dancing.
等著瞧這傢伙有沒有節奏感 We'll see if "Last of the Mohicans" here has rhythm.
他不會自己煮咖啡嗎？ Doesn't he know how to make his own coffee?
-要走了嗎？ -是啊 -You ready to go? -Yeah.
那就好，我跟卻斯雪麗說我們會準時 Okay, good. Because I told Chaz Cherry we'd be on time.
等一下要叫他名字還是他的姓？ We're calling everyone by first and last names now?
我不想浪費時間陪卻斯雪麗，我想和莎拉狄佛一起脫得精光 I don't want to see Chaz Cherry. I want to get naked with Sara Deever.
你好美 You look beautiful.
謝謝你，尼爾森摩斯 Thank you, Nelson Moss.
走嘛，不會無聊的，我保證 Come on. You won't be bored, I promise.
卻斯雪麗廚藝很棒 Chaz Cherry is a great cook.
-我們來了 -謝天謝地 -We're here. -Oh, hallelujah!
-我們餓了 -遲了一步 -And we're hungry. -Too late.
晚飯賣給流浪漢了 I sold your dinner to the homeless.
尼爾森，瞧瞧你，你穿了衣服我倒認不出來 Nelson, look at you. Didn't recognize you with your clothes on.
尼爾森，你已見過卻斯，她是雪麗 Nelson, you've met Chaz. This is Cherry.
小心指甲 Oh, watch the nails.
謝謝你 Thanks very much.
哇 Wow.
很像電影裡的男扮女裝 Very Pink Flamingos.
天哪！甜心，他說我像電影明星 Oh, my God! Sweetheart, he says I look like Divine.
真糟糕 Oh, that's awful.
-起碼要再瘦幾磅 -夠了 -You could lose a few pounds. -Stop.
-你才夠了 -賤人 -You stop. -Bitch.
布蘭蒂，他是尼爾森 尼爾森，她是布蘭蒂 Brandy this is Nelson. Nelson, this is Brandy.
-嗨 -噢，他好帥 -Hi. -Oh, he is handsome.
別對他性騷擾，喝杯酒吧，尼爾森 Put it back in your pants. Grab a drink, Nelson.
沒事吧？你好像不太舒服，臉色蒼白 You all right? You seem a little bit uncomfortable.
放鬆一下，解開最上面的 Come here. Let me loosen you up.
-不喜歡這音樂？ -不，很好聽啊 -Is it the music, maybe? -No, it's great.
還有麥可波頓，要不要聽？ Because we got some Michael Bolton if you prefer.
阿拉巴馬合唱團 Alabama.
還是裝潢不對？ Or is it the decor?
不是啦 No, it's....
你們穿了洋裝 You're in dresses.
這不是洋裝，是性感亮片裝 This isn't a dress. This is a sequined sensation.
乾杯 Cheers.
那不是洋裝 That's not a dress.
拜託，小妞，開動吧 God, let's eat. Come on.
我餓得要命 Starved.
我餓了 I am hungry.
-誰要吃？ -謝謝 -There, you want those? -Thanks very much.
天哪，真漂亮，應該給布蘭蒂才對，處理一下 God, they're absolutely beautiful. Brandy, take care of them.
幹得好 Very nice.
烤出來的食物最能示愛 A little loving From the oven
-大家來吃焗面 -你做的嗎？ -Couscous for everyone. -Wow, did you make that?
對不起，你剛才說什麼？ Excuse me, what did you just say?
做和買，分辨不太出來 Making, buying, it's all a very thin line.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
我真不敢相信！ I don't believe it!
你的打扮才分辨不出來 You know what's a thin line? Your outfit.
分辨不出是女歌星雪兒或男明星霍華基爾 It's a thin line between late Cher and early Howard Keel.
快吃，我們要趕在十點前入場 Eat up. Where we're going, you go before 10...
到舞池占好位置男士免費入場 ...you get a good place to dance and boys get in free.
你有穿舞鞋來嗎？ Bring your dancing shoes?
你可以在那裡光著上身跳舞 Can you dance shirtless? It happens there.
你乳頭有穿洞嗎?有沒有刺青? Are your nipples pierced? You have a "Mom" tattoo on your ass?
你不是同性戀肌肉男 You're not exactly a Muscle Mary, but I think you'll cut it.
你應該進得去 You're smearing it.
我去看尼爾森在幹嘛，趁我不在聊聊我吧 I'll see what lover-boy's doing. You can talk about me now.
會的 We will.
會聊很多 A lot.
要不要止痛藥？ You want an Advil?
你怎麼知道？ How'd you know?
焗面 The couscous.
-我馬上回來 -謝謝 -I'll be right back. -Thanks.
我喜歡這支廣告，很棒 Oh, God, I love this one. It's brilliant.
但格子呢有點敗筆 I mean, the tartan's for shit.
格子呢有什麼不對？ What's wrong with the tartan?
蘇格蘭玩意兒 It's a Scottish thing.
但從構想到完成這是極致之作 I mean, from concept to execution, it's just sublime.
-拿去吃吧 -謝謝 -There you go, sweetie. -Thank you.
不過是廣告罷了 Just an ad.
少謙虛，我知道你靠這支廣告得了獎 Now, don't be modest. I know you won a Gold Pencil for this.
你怎麼知道？ How do you know that?
我也是有正職的 Well, I've got a day job as well, you know.
你在哪高就？ What do you do?
從事可怕的廣告業 I work in the dreaded world of advertising.
真的嗎？ Oh, really?
真的 Oh, really.
哪家公司？ What firm?
貝波廣告公司 Baker Bohanon.
天哪，你是卻斯瓦利！ Oh, my God, you're Chaz Watley!
瞧，我的寶貝很出名 Oh, look. Baby's famous.
別多嘴 Don't even go there.
你是那個卻斯瓦利... You've been that Chaz Watley...
...一直都是？ ...all this time?
你們和熱狗大亨簽約了？ Did you get the Dr. Diggity account?
天哪，尼爾森，別在意 Oh, my God. Nelson, just let it go.
雪麗才懶得管這種事 Cherry doesn't care about things like that.
是嗎？ Oh, really?
雪麗懶得管這種事 "Cherry doesn't care about things like that"?
卻斯一定在意得很 I bet Chaz cares about things like that.
你們倆不溝通嗎？ Or do you two not talk to each other?
尼爾森就很在意這種事 I know Nelson cares about things like that.
她應該早點告訴我 She should've told me.
這... This is--
真尷尬，早知道你是誰，我就... This is awkward. If I'd known who you were, I wouldn't have--
怎樣？你就會換洋裝嗎？ What? You would've worn a dress?
不可能 I don't think so.
你會對我特別好嗎？ You would've been especially nice to me?
-大概吧 -多謝你了 -Yeah, something like that. -Thanks very much.
他不在 He's not here right now.
我跟你說他不在 I said, he's not here right now.
幹嘛打來這裡？ Why are you calling here?
你這樣做多久了？打了幾次？ How long have you been doing this? How long have you been calling here?
我說過... I asked--
我不方便講話 I can't-- I can't talk.
現在不方便講話 I can't talk right now.
現在不方便跟你講話 I said, I can't talk to you right now.
沒事吧？ Is everything okay?
猜猜是誰打來的 Ten guesses who that was.
該死 Shit.
-這樣多久了？ -不是你想的那樣 -So, how long has it been going on? -It's not what you think.
你們在背後講我多久了？ You've talked to her behind my back?
非得現在談嗎？ Do you really want to talk about this now?
我知道，抱歉 No. I'm sorry.
各位，我今晚不跳舞了，我好累 Guys, I don't think I'm gonna go dancing tonight. I feel so tired.
拜託，別走，親愛的 Come on, sweetheart.
怎麼回事？ What was that all about?
她有偏頭痛的毛病 She gets migraines.
頭痛得 You know...
很嚴重 ...terrible headaches.
不，我是問那通電話... No, the phone call.
誰打來的？ Who was that?
她妹妹 Her sister.
說來話長，我不打算告訴你 It's a long story, and I am not going to tell it.
嘿，剛才的事我很抱歉 Hey. I'm sorry about what happened down there.
沒關係，終於知道你也有不完美的地方 That's okay, gives me a boost to know that you're not perfect.
好點沒？ Feeling better?
我很好 Yeah, I'm fine.
卻斯說是你妹打來的 Chaz told me it was your sister on the phone.
幹嘛那麼生氣？ Why does it upset you so much?
不是說要一起脫得精光嗎？ Remember talking about getting naked?
要和莎拉狄佛一起脫光，現在時機正好 "Naked with Sara Deever." I think it's a good time for that.
別顧左右而言他 Don't dodge me, talk to me.
來啊，和我一起脫得精光 Come get naked with me.
怎麼回事？ What happened?
不公平 That's not fair.
你要我誠實 You expect me to be so honest...
毫無隱瞞 ...so forthcoming.
沒錯 I do.
這個月是專屬於你，尼爾森 Because it's your month, Nelson.
不屬於我 Not mine.
算了，你絕不會想聽家庭問題 Come on, you don't want to hear about stupid family stuff.
別生氣 Don't be mad.
拜託嘛 Please.
你不舒服吧？ You're not feeling well, are you?
明天再來一起脫得精光 Maybe tomorrow we'll get naked.
今晚... And tonight...
穿著睡衣就好 ...we'll wear PJs.
我認識的女人都要花200塊剪髮 Every woman I know spends $200 on a haircut.
你卻用吸塵器 You use a vacuum cleaner.
別顧左右而言他 Quit trying to change the subject.
你答應過我，尼爾森，時間還沒到 You made a commitment, Nelson. Our time isn't over.
只是開個會嘛 It's one meeting.
和那個伶牙俐齒的文斯開個會有什麼大不了？ Why is going to some powwow with this slicko guy, Vince, such a big deal?
因為這是一生難得的機會 Because it's probably the chance of a lifetime, that's why.
既然是一生，再等一星期又有何妨？ If it's a whole lifetime, why not just postpone it for one more week?
莎拉，艾格普萊斯要見你你不能說 Sara, when Edgar Price says he'll meet you...
下個月好嗎？ ...you don't say: "Wait, how about next month?"
要說：“謝謝，我會到” You say, "Thank you, I'll be there."
他是廣告界大老 He's one of the greats.
我的電話呢？ Where's my phone?
我討厭電話 I hate it.
尼爾森！ Nelson!
可惡 Damn it.
我們有能力作好任何產品的廣告 We can take anything and just sell it, make it work.
鵜鶘啤酒廣告就是我們的作品 Exactly. I mean, we've done very well with Telecomputer.
你應該看過這支廣告 Actually, I'm sure you're aware of--
沒，我沒看過 No, I wasn't.
事實上我們那支廣告還得過獎 We just won the Ad Age award for that spot.
那是去年的廣告 I think that was last year's spot.
我們是搭檔，兩人創意小組 So we have a symbiosis, the two of us, as a team--
有很多人是為了得獎才作廣告，普萊斯先生 We know a lot of guys who do this for the awards, Mr. Price.
-那不是說就不要得獎-然而... -Not to say we don't get the awards-- -But still...
我們不是為了掌聲 ...we're not about the acclaim.
接受讚揚，和客戶共餐 Handholding, dinners...
-或召妓為客戶服務 -召妓？ -...sending prostitutes to the client. -Prostitutes?
-誰召妓？ -誰不召妓？ -Who sends prostitutes? -Who doesn't?
我們純粹為了工作 We're about the work.
只要廣告作得好，自然不必加油添醋 If the work is great, it speaks for itself.
我只想聽這句話 That's all I need to know.
你們結婚生子了嗎？ But are you married, any kids?
沒，早就把成家的念頭拋諸腦後 No, we've avoided the family thing for quite some time.
-一直不敢想 -那就好 -Most of our lives. -Good.
若要講求生活品質想請陪產假 Because if you're worried about quality of life or paternity leave...
或其他新世代的玩意兒 ...or any of that other New Age crap...
就算我再喜歡你們，也不必談下去了 ...as much as I like you, we can stop right here.
我要你們全心奉獻 I want to be your full-time commitment.
沒問題 I can do that.
-我們還有兩星期-什麼兩星期？ -We still had two weeks to go. -What's two weeks?
你終究要甩了他，真准 You're kicking him out anyway. Good shot.
謝謝 Thanks.
早知道就把他鎖在臥房裡 You know what? I should've locked him in there.
應該把他綁在床上 I should've tied him to the bed.
你沒這樣做？ What, do you mean you didn't?
反正也阻止不了他 It wouldn't have stopped him.
不能逼人做他不想做的事 You can't force people to do what they don't want to.
這不是你的重點嗎？ That's the whole point of this thing, isn't it?
我瞭解尼爾森這種人 Besides, I know guys like Nelson.
這次你可能失算了 You may have bitten off more than you can chew this time.
我就是喜歡他這點 That's what I like about him.
也因為這樣才害怕 It's also what scares the hell out of me.
只是你也知道，有幾個大客戶想和我們簽約 Just so you know, we've got a couple of great clients in our hip pockets.
還有不少潛在客戶，我們是有備而來 Plus, some leads on some new accounts. So we come to you fully loaded.
你不是要賣車給我 You're not selling me a car, Holland.
我對你的印象不太好，但你名氣不小 Frankly, I'm not impressed with you. But your reputation precedes you.
若得搭配他才能聘用你，我同意 And if I have to take him to get you, I will.
這是我開的價錢 So here's my offer.
在我們散會之前都有效 It's good as long as we're at this table.
天哪！ Oh, my--!
對不起！不好意思 I'm so sorry! Excuse me.
-馬上就好 -不用了 -That's okay. -Stop it.
聽好... You know, sweetie...
人要扮演好自己的角色，你是服務生 ...we are what we do in this world, and you're a waitress.
只要上酒菜 All that requires is that you bring food and drink...
服務客人 ...to and from the table without making a mess.
做好份內的工作 That's it.
連這麼簡單的事都做不好 So when you screw up something as incredibly simple as that...
就表示你的能力太差 ...it doesn't say a whole hell of a lot about you, does it?
對不起 I'm-- I'm sorry.
給一塊錢小費她還會找你零錢 If you gave a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change.
她應該被開除 They ought to fire her.
我常說雇錯了人就是提高對手的實力 I always say a bad hire strengthens the competition's hand.
好將領要懂得以敵制敵 A good general feeds off his enemy.
這句話是孫子說的 Actually, Sun Tzu said that last line.
出自“孫子兵法” In The Art of War.
說得對，尼爾森 You're right, Nelson.
你很聰明 You're very smart.
你看看 Take a look, buddy.
沒興趣 Not interested.
我開的價錢你不滿意？ You don't like my offer?
我不滿意的不是價錢 It's not the offer I don't like.
是你 It's you.
尼爾森！等一下...尼爾森！ Nelson, wait-- Nelson!
-這不是... -希望你付得起 -You know what? This isn't-- -I hope you can afford this.
可惡 Shit.
天哪 Oh, Jesus Christ....
你怎麼搞的？竟敢在太歲爺頭上動土 What's wrong with you? You just shit in God's face.
你是自討苦吃，我不欣賞他 If he's your god, you're in trouble. He's not for me.
不欣賞他？ He's not for you? He is you.
-你們倆是同類 -你胡說什麼？我才不像他，否則斃了我 -You're cloned from the same DNA. -I'm not. If I am, shoot me.
槍呢？斃了我吧 Where's the gun? It's my career too!
我也被你拖下水了，怎麼回事？ You just blew it in there. What is going on, man?
我懂了，是那位神秘女子吧 I know what it is. It's the girl.
那位神秘女子叫什麼名字？ The new mystery woman. What's her name?
少敷衍我，她叫什麼名字？ Don't ignore me. What's her name?
-莎拉-你還沒搞清楚？ -Sara. -Don't you see what's happening?
她靠媚功套牢了你 She has got your balls in a jar.
我是你朋友，不會騙你 I'm your friend. I wouldn't lie.
-結果是你搞砸了 -文斯，很抱歉害你花了… -You blew it in there. -Vince, I'm sorry I cost you your job--
不必同情我，尼爾森，你搞砸了 I don't need your pity, Nelson. You blew it!
你一事無成，尼爾森 You're a loser, Nelson.
窩囊廢！ Loser!
好吧，我不需要你，尼爾森 Fine. I don't need you, Nelson.
你有沒有聽過蝴蝶蘭這種花？ Have you ever heard of Phalaenopsis sanderiana?
它讓我聯想到你 It reminded me of you.
-生意談成了吧？-沒人開過那麼高的價錢 -You got the job, didn't you? -Best offer anyone ever made me.
那麼幾時開始上班？ So when do you start?
我們沒達成共識 We had a little problem agreeing on that.
他要我即刻上班 He suggested immediately.
我決定... I suggested...
不去了 ...never.
-不去？ -不去 -Never? -Never.
-留下爾尼吧 -不行 -Come on, let's keep Ernie. -Nope.
它有了新家，非送走不可 I found a home. He's gotta go.
但你很愛它呀 But you love this little monster.
我很快就能再找只狗來愛 Soon I'll love another little monster.
冷酷無情的女人 Cold, heartless woman.
塞有豆腐和小紅梅的火雞如何？ What about vegan turkey stuffed with tofu and cranberries?
叫外賣比較好 Ordering sounds better.
感恩節晚餐不能叫外賣 We're not ordering Thanksgiving dinner.
只有這時候要沿襲傳統 It's the one time in life it's good to be "trad."
既然如此，要邀請你的家人嗎？ In that case, are you inviting your family?
不要 No.
我不想在感恩節和家人吵架 Holiday fights are a little too traditional for my taste.
吵什麼？ What do you fight about?
什麼都吵 Everything.
宗教、錢、性 Religion, money, sex.
莎拉的決定，莎拉違背傳統 Sara's decisions. Sara's unconventional ways.
莎拉的生活方式 Sara's lifestyle.
-他們當我是怪人 -你本來就是怪人 -They think I'm a freak. -You are a freak.
這話題太無聊了 Anyway, boring subject.
他們一定很想你 I'm sure they miss you.
我想也是 I know they do.
有項好傳統叫“和好” You know, there's a good tradition called "making up."
你可以試試 You could try it.
好吧 Yeah.
改天再試 Someday I'll have to do that.
你抱它下樓吧？ Mind walking him down?
好啊 Sure.
謝謝 Thanks.
走吧 Come on, boy.
跟莎拉說再見 Say goodbye to Sara.
再見 Bye.
來吧，小狗 Hey, come on, puppy.
-謝謝 -不客氣 -Thanks. -Yeah. Sure.
爾尼，再見 See you, Ernie.
嘿 Hey.
她幹嘛每只狗都要送人? Why can't she keep one for a change?
大概是想多照顧幾隻狗 I guess she helps more this way.
我想了很久 I've been thinking.
怎樣？ Oh, yeah?
你可以收養我 If you want to adopt me, you can.
我是說禮拜一是父子懇親日，時機正好 I mean, Father Sunday is on Monday. It would be good timing.
我不知該說什麼 I don't quite know what to say.
這樣吧 I'll tell you what...
我不能收養你 ...l can't adopt you...
但懇親日我可以出席 ...but I'll come with you to Father Sunday.
-真的？ -真的 -Promise? -Promise.
我去告訴我媽！ Wait till my mom hears!
莎拉！ Sara!
我有大事要宣佈 I have an announcement to make.
怎麼了？ What's wrong?
-你還好吧？ -我很好 -Are you okay? -Yeah, I'm fine.
裡頭藏了什麼？ What do you keep in there?
-沒什麼 -沒藏什麼就不必上鎖 -Nothing. -"Nothing" doesn't require a lock.
怎麼了？ What's wrong?
那... So...
-要宣佈什麼大事？ -別顧左右而言他 -...what's the big announcement? -Don't do the dodge.
我好不好？ Am I okay?
不，我不好 No, I'm not okay.
我想念爾尼 I miss Ernie.
我偏頭痛 And I've got a migraine.
那... So...
要宣佈什麼大事？ ...what's your big announcement?
嫁給我 Marry me.
什麼? What?
你願意嫁給我嗎? Will you marry me?
莎拉，我剛才站在街頭 Sara, I stood on the street...
突然發現… ...and I realized...
就是這樣 ...this is it.
生命再好也不過了 Life will never be better...
這種生活好甜蜜 ...or sweeter than this.
我很快樂 I'm happy.
我戀愛了 I'm in love.
嫁給我 Marry me.
我真的好感動 That's incredibly sweet.
-但你不懂 -我懂，一切都說得通了 -But you don't understand. -Yes, I do. It all makes sense.
我要你 I want you.
我要過這種生活 I want this life.
嫁給我 Marry me.
嫁給我，莎拉 Marry me, Sara.
- 不行 -為什麼? -I can't. -Why not?
是我的緣故 Because of me.
你怎樣? What about you?
拜託你，莎拉 For God's sake, Sara. Please, just--
告訴我怎麼了 Just tell me what's wrong.
告訴我實話 Tell me the truth.
不行 I can't.
莎拉! Sara?
老天 Jesus.
我沒事 I'm fine.
No, I'm fine.
-我沒事 -到底怎麼了? -I'm fine.-What the hell is going on?
不要!尼爾森! No, Nelson.
不要!尼爾森!不要! No, Nelson, no!
不要! No.
這就是你想看的嗎? Is this what you wanted to see?
是嗎? This is it!
知道夠多了吧? Is this enough truth for you?
你滿意了嗎? Does this make you happy?
你真討厭，就是要追根究底 Goddamn you! You just couldn't leave it alone!
莎拉! 別這樣 Sara, stop.
偏偏就是要追根究底 老天 為甚麼就不能放下 You just couldn't leave it-- God, just leave it alone.
這是非霍吉金氏淋巴瘤 It's non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.
癌症的一種 It's a type of cancer.
很遺憾你是這樣發現的 抱歉 You shouldn't have to find out like this. I'm sorry.
她會睡上好幾個小時 She's gonna be asleep for hours.
要不要去找個地方聊聊? You want to go for a walk, have a chat or something?
-好啊 - 好，走吧 -Yeah. -Yeah, okay.
她一年前停止接受治療 You said she stopped her treatments a year ago?
那為何還吃藥? What about the pills?
只是壓制症狀 她不再想對抗病魔 It just gets her through the day. She stopped trying to beat it.
她努力了一年 什麼療法都沒效 She did it all for a year. Nothing worked.
我不是醫生 但一年沒追蹤檢查，不會是… Look, I'm no doctor, but when you're unchecked, wouldn't that--?
對 Yeah.
擴散到全身了 It's spread everywhere.
她怎能隱瞞病情和我交往? How could she get involved with me and not tell me she was sick?
她到底在想什麼? I mean, what was she thinking?
她以為你和其他人沒兩樣 She was thinking you'd be the same as all the others.
一個月後就甩了你 She'd dump you after a month.
你要明白一件事，尼爾森 You've got to understand something.
她已無藥可救 She's completely powerless.
但訂下這些規則… With these rules, you know...
...就能製造幻覺和掌控一切的價值 ...they give her the illusion and dignity of control.
這是她活下去的動力 It's kept her alive.
所以她才會和家人失和 The rift with her family, that's what it's about?
因為這些規則 These rules.
沒錯 Yeah.
她家人受不了 不願放手 Her family couldn't handle it. They wouldn't let go.
不肯縱容她一直逼她繼續治療 They kept trying to run her disease.
所以她就逃家 So she took off.
來到了這裡 And came here?
她告訴我，若不能正常過日子 She told me if she couldn't live a normal life...
...她就要好好過不正常的日子 ...she was determined to live an abnormal one the best way she could.
我不懂 I don't get it.
她此任何人更熱愛生命 She loves life more than anyone I've ever met.
怎麼可能放棄? How can she just give up?
我說的話你沒仔細聽嗎? You listening to anything I'm telling you?
她沒放棄 She's not giving up.
她在善用所剩不多的時間 She's making the most of the time she's got left.
別壞了好事 Don't mess with that.
對不起 I'm sorry.
我不想讓你看到這一切 I didn't want you to see any of this.
我希望你… I wanted you...
...只認識熱愛生命的我 ...to know me loving life, you know?
過來 Come here.
為我做一件事 Will you do something for me?
什麼事都行 Anything.
帶我離開醫院 Will you get me out of here?
帶我回家 Take me home.
好了 Okay.
天哪 Jesus.
他們到了 They're here.
親愛的 Hey, darling.
甜心 Hey, sweetie.
聽說你病了，你氣色很好啊? You're sick? You look fabulous.
Oh, this is just a lie. 胡說
You look great. 你氣色好極了
-要不要洗個熱水澡? -來吧 -Want a nice, warm bath? -Come on, sweetie.
-我們替你放洗澡水 -今晚菜單上有什麼? -We'll run you a bath. -What's on the menu tonight?
-有好吃的開胃菜 -止痛藥可待因 -We have lovely appetizers. -Nice codeine.
可待因? 還有什麼? 你的最愛 特效藥多納妥 Codeine? What else? Donnatal, that's your favorite.
來吧，小女孩，到浴缸去 Come on, girl. Let's get you in here.
好，坐下來 Okay.
慢慢來 Nice and easy.
莎拉 我有認識的醫生 Sara, I know doctors I could call.
不要醫生 No doctors.
我不會有事的，尼爾森 但你不能留下 I'm gonna be fine, Nelson. But you can't be here.
我不要你留下 不能讓你看到 I don't want you here. You can't see this.
求求你 快走 Please, go.
好，他要走了 Okay, okay, he's going.
我不能袖手旁觀 看著她… I can't stand by and do nothing, just watch her....
死？ Die?
所以她要你走 That's why she wants you to go.
快走吧 Go on.
艾納 Hey, Abner.
我今天沒心情陪你玩 Today's not gonna be a great play day.
我知道，今天是懇親日 I know. It's gonna be Father Sunday.
你忘了嗎? Did you forget?
抱歉，艾納，我不能去 Oh, God, I'm sorry, Ab. I can't.
你答應過我 But you promised.
我想我沒爸爸 I guess I don't have a dad.
其實我有啦只是不知道他是誰 I mean, I do, but I don't know who he is.
所以我帶尼爾森來 So I brought Nelson.
我們一起玩 他讓我覺得自己很聰明 We do stuff, and it's fun, because he makes me feel smart.
就好像… I guess I feel like...
...我惹了麻煩 他會替我收拾爛攤子 ...if I got into trouble, he'd take care of me.
像好朋友一樣 只是大了點 Kind of like a best friend, just bigger.
謝謝你，艾納 Thank you, Abner.
明天見 I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
我不知道，艾納 I don't know.I probably won't be here tomorrow.
為什麼? How come?
我要作一個困難的決定 I gotta do some thinking, make a tough decision.
莎拉覺得你不尊重她的選擇 就像這樣嗎? Sara thinks you don't respect her choices? Something like that?
我說不清楚 電視劇都是這樣演 I don't know. You always see that stuff on TV.
你是我遇過最好的小孩 I think you're the coolest kid I've ever met.
-再見 -再見 -I'll see you. -See you.
保重 Take care.
可惡! Shit.
沒事真的? You all right?
-真的沒事 -那就好 -Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. -Good.
我本來就想把南瓜派放在地上 I was planning on serving the pumpkin on the floor, so this is....
這樣正好 This is really good.
天哪，卻斯 Oh, God, Chaz.
我們應該會很開心 Please tell me we're gonna have fun.
感恩節很好玩，對吧? Thanksgiving's fun, right? It's fun.
我們會狂歡一場 It'll be a riot.
過來 Come here.
抱一下 Give us a cuddle.
我要狂歡 I need some fun.
他向我求婚了 You know, he asked me to marry him.
他又不是第一個 He's not the first.
對，但我第一次想答應 No, but it was the first time I wanted to say yes.
那你幹嘛拒絕? So why didn't you?
因為 卻斯 情況超出掌控範圍了 Because, Chaz, I let the whole thing go too far.
是嗎? 超過誰的範圍? Oh, yeah? Too far for who?
我們兩個的 Both of us.
反正… Anyway....
沒必要談了，他走了 No need to talk about it. He's gone.
你沒趕他走 只要你點頭他就會回來 Well, you did kick him out. He'll be back if you let him.
我不希望他回來 I don't want him to come back.
好吧 Right.
打破自己的規則也無妨 You know, it's okay to break your own rules, Sara.
你們彼此相愛 You fell in love.
這是好事 That's great.
或許不盡如你意 但你不可能掌控一切 It may not follow your master plan, but you can't control everything.
夠了 Okay, just stop it.
別再談這件事了，卻斯 I really don't need this right now, Chaz.
天哪 Jesus!
我沒權利讓他承受這一切 There's no rule that gives me the right to put him through all of this.
飽受煎熬 This hell.
我不能… I don't....
-他終究會傷心 -無論你怎麼做他都會傷心 -It'll just hurt him in the end. -It'll hurt, whatever you do.
我們都會 We all will.
但是… But...
...我學到了一件事 ...if I've learned anything...
...你應該和愛你的人在一起 ...it's that you should have those who love you near...
...不管多久都沒關係 ...as long as you possibly can.
對 Yeah.
乾杯! 乾杯! Toast! Toast.
敬 搶土地又屠殺原住民的日子 Happy we-stole-your-land-and-killed-your-people day.
艾爾! -說得好 -Oh, Al. -That's a good one, Al.
敬各位 Here's to you.
-來吧 -敬各位 -Here you go, babe. -Here's to you.
聖誕快樂 Merry Christmas!
聖誕快樂 莎拉 Merry Christmas, Sara.
今天不是感恩節嗎? I think it's Thanksgiving, isn't it?
你要過聖誕節 Not for you.
你不必等到那時候 You shouldn't have to wait.
有沒有人和我一樣突然想吃中國菜? Does anyone else have a sudden desire for Chinese food?
-贊成 -贊成 -Right on! -Yeah.
很高興見到你，尼爾森 It's good to see you, Nelson.
你知道中國人怎麼過聖誕節嗎? Do you know how the Chinese celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving?
再見 聖誕老人 Ciao, Santa.
我以為你不會來 I thought you'd never get here.
別這樣 Come on, let's go.
為了你 親愛的莎拉 For you, my sweet Sara...
...我準備了十二件聖誕禮物 ...l bring you 12 gifts of Christmas.
第一件 One:
舉世間名的臘腸 臘腸讓我們彼此認識 The famous Colombo log. The salami that started it all.
第二件 Two:
彩色假髮 給狂吠寵物的美容師 A kaleidoscope of a coiffeur, for the barking-mad pet crusader.
第三件 Number three:
用來鞭打性奴隸的鞭子 A bullwhip for the dizzy dominatrix.
讓你用來統治你的世界 讓我臣服於你 So you can rule your world in style and whip me into shape.
第四件 Four:
這是... I present...
...為了莎拉特製的香水 ...Sara, a custom-made fragrance capturing...
...從我身上 ...that special something...
...就間得到你的親密關係 ...a woman leaves on a man.
-尼爾森，這… -才剛開始而已 -Nelson, this is.... -Only the beginning.
第五件 Five:
「為何雪莉有胸毛?」 Why is Harriet so Hairy?
深入瞭解那兩位喜歡男扮女裝的朋友 The definitive guide to understanding our transvestite friends.
第六件 Six:
小泡泡 代表我們最愛的泡泡澡 Tiny bubbles, for those leisurely soaks we love so much.
第七件 Number seven:
市營電車百週年紀念品 A hundred muni train tokens...
...代表你 ...for the many, many...
...無數次的電車之旅 ...great rides of your life.
第八件 Number eight:
令人陶醉的音樂精選 A collection of music to swoon by.
碰巧和第九件禮物搭配成套 Which, by the way, happens to go very nicely with gift number nine:
舞蹈課程 Dance classes.
繆德莉舞蹈學院 保證讓你不再踩到我的腳 Mildred's Academy of Dance, guaranteed to get you off my toes...
...一星期保證班 ...in a week.
-你確定? -確定 -You sure? -I'm positive.
第十件 Number 10:
專為不愛洗碗的女士所設計 For the gentle lady who hates doing dishes.
洗碗機！ A dishwasher!
尼爾森，這份禮物太昂貴了 Nelson, this is too much.
還不夠 It's not enough.
第十一件 Number 11 :
活生生出現在你家裡 Live, and in your apartment, back by popular demand...
...應觀眾要求 ...l give you...
...爾尼 ...Ernie!
嗨，寶貝 Hi, baby!
我好想你 I missed you.
最後這份禮物 絕對能證明我有多愛你 And if this last gift doesn't prove how much I love you, nothing will.
以後每個月都是十一月，莎拉 Every month is November, Sara.
我每天都愛你 And I love you every day.
尼爾森，這… Nelson, there's--
這是屬於我倆的月份 永遠不必結束 This is our month, and it never has to end.
我不再努力地想掌控生命 I surrender all attempts to control life...
...無論你的或我的 ...yours or mine.
我活著只有一個目的 I live for one thing:
那就是愛你 To love you.
讓你快樂 To make you happy.
踏實而喜悅地活在這個時刻 To live firmly and joyously in the moment.
我只知道十一月 November is all I know.
也只想記得十一月 And all I ever want to know.
你在幹嘛? What are you doing?
你要去哪裡? Where are you going?
出去 Out.
好讓你有時間整理東西 This will give you time to get your stuff together.
準備搬出去 So you can go.
我們的十一月結束了 Our month is over.
莎拉 我不走 Sara, I'm not leaving.
莎拉! Sara!
莎拉 停下來 Sara, stop!
莎拉，別再跑了 Sara, stop running. Sara!
莎拉，求求你 Sara, please.
我絕不離開你 I'm not leaving you.
-我知道你愛我 -我真的知道 -I know you love me. -I do.
我不曾有過這種感覺 I've never felt this.
我從沒想到能體驗這些 是你給了我機會 I never thought I'd have the chance, and you gave that to me, Nelson.
-那你幹嘛趕我走? -我們愈陷愈深了 -Then why are you doing this? -Because it's starting to happen.
我不在乎 I don't care.
你現在走 才能完美珍藏我們共有的一切 Nelson, if you leave now, everything we had will be perfect forever.
生命本來就不完美 Sara, life isn't perfect.
將來會只剩下你對我的回憶 All we have is how you'll remember me.
我希望這份回憶鮮明又美麗 And I need that memory to be strong and beautiful.
你還不懂嗎? Don't you see?
只要我能保有這樣的回憶 我就什麼都不怕了 If I know that I'm remembered that way, then I can face anything.
什麼都不怕 Anything.
尼爾森，你永存我心 Nelson, you're my immortality.
我想照顧你，莎拉 I want to take care of you.
我不會有事的 I'm gonna be all right.
我要回家人身邊了 I'm going home.
他們知道我要回去 They know I'm coming.
我非這麼做不可 I need to do this.
這樣好像不太… It doesn't seem--
我也希望你能繼續快樂地過日子 Just like I need to know that you'll go on and have a beautiful life.
過你該過的生活 The one you deserve.
我只要你 I only want you.
我是你的人 You have me...
...永遠都是 ...forever.
讓我走吧 Now let me go.
好吧，莎拉 All right, Sara.
好吧 All right.
閉上眼睛 Close your eyes.
我愛你，尼爾森摩斯 I love you, Nelson Moss.
勿忘我 Remember me.