Name?
Good evening! Namaskaar, Sasrakaar, Aadaam.
Welcome to "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"!
Are you ready?
Yes.
Please give a big round of applause,
Good Luck Kid. To a very first contestant of the night,
Jamal Malik from our very own, Aarmchi Mumbay!
Hello, let's play.
Smile, you'll be fine.
Name.
Motherfucker, name?
Jamal. Malik.
You have a name.
Good. Stop, crying.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you, thank you. Thank you, very much.
So Jamal...
tell me something about yourself.
I work in a call-center...
in Juhu. Good.
A phone basher..
And what type of call-center should that be?
XL5 mobile phones.
So you are the one who calls me up
every single day of my life with special offers?
No, actually I am an assistant.
An assistant phone basher?
And what does an assistant phone basher do exactly?
I get tea for people and...
Chaiwalla?
A chaiwalla!
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
Jamal Malik... one who serves hot tea from Mumbay,
let's play "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"
So, has he confessed yet?
Except his name I could not get anything out of the runt.
You have been here the whole bloody night, Srinivas.
What have you been doing?
He's a tough guy.
A little electricity will loosen his tongue, give him.
Yes sir.
Ok, so were you wired up?
Mobile phone or a pager?
Or coughing accomplice in the audience?
Or microchip under your skin?
The chip is not here. Not here?
No. Ok, leave it.
Leave it. Leave it.
It's hot, and my wife is giving me hell.
I've got a desk full of murderers,
rapists,
extortionists, bomb bandits,
and you.
So why don't you save us both a lot of time?
And tell me how you cheated?
I'm done sir.
Now listen.
Hello!
He's is unconscious, fucker. What good is that?
How many times have I told you, you should once...
I'm sorry sir.
Good, good, good Srinivas...
Now we'll have Amnesty International here next
peeing in their pants about human rights.
Sir I was thinking...
Get him down, tidy him up please. For God's sake!
Sir, what if he did know the answers?
Professors, doctors, lawyers,
general knowledge-wallas never get beyond 60000 rupees.
He's on 10 million.
What the hell can a slumdog possibly know?
The answers!
I knew the answers...
If the planes won't kill you, we will!
Repeat it! "You have sent for me, Sir?" said Athos.
So...
Mr. Malik,
the man who knows all the answers.
Talk.
Whoreson talk!
So Jamal,
are you ready for the first question, for 1000 rupees?
Yes.
Not bad money to sit on a chair and answer a question.
Better than making tea, no?
No. Yes. No.
No? Yes? No?
Is that your final answer?
So remember.
You have three lifelines.
Ask the audience.
50/50.
Call a friend.
So the first question, for 1000 rupees, here we go.
Who was the star in the 1973 hit-film "Zanjeer"?
Amitabh!
Amitabh Bachchan!
Yea, got Amithab's autograph!
A. Amitabh Bachchan.
Guess what, you're right. You just won 1,000 rupees.
You don't have to be a genius.
I knew it was Amitabh Bachchan.
Like I said, you do not have to be a genius.
He's the most famous man in India.
A picture of three lions,
as seen on the national emblem of India.
What is written underneath?
What do you think, Jamal?
The most famous phrase of our country.
Do you like to call a friend?
Ask the audience.
Put the poor man out of his misery, ladies and gentlemen?
My five-year old daughter can answer that question,
but you couldn't.
That's strange for a millionaire genius.
What happened?
Your accomplice sneaked out for a piss?
The inspector is asking something.
How much is panipuri at Dharisha store on Chowpatty?
What?
Panipuri.
One plate, how much?
10 rupees. Wrong.
15 since Diwali.
Who stole Constable Varmy's bicycle
outside Santa Cruz station last Thursday?
You know who that was?
Everyone in Juhu knows that.
Even five year old.
Congratulations, Jamal. You just won 4,000 rupees.
A 16 thousand rupees.
Religion.
Interesting.
In depictions of God Rama,
he is famously holding what in his right hand?
I wake up every morning wishing I did not know the answer to that question.
If it wasn't for Rama and Allah...
I would still have a mother.
A bow and arrow.
Final answer?
Final answer.
Computer-ji, lock D.
You just won 16000 rupees.
Well done, my friend.
Time for commercial break. Don't go away, now.
You got lucky, huh?
If I were you I'd take the money and run.
You're not going to the next one.
Welcome back to "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"
Our contestant, Jamal Malik, call-center assistant from Mumbay,
is on 16 thousand rupees,
and has already used only one lifeline, ask the audience.
So my friend,
you're into serious money.
Yes.
A: Surdas.
B: Tulsidas.
C: Mira Bai.
D: Kabir.
Hello.
It's hot, huh?
Here son.
Arvind.
Salim.
No.
Just give...
Come.
Surdas.
Surdas?
Surdas,
is your final answer?
Yes.
Guess what,
you're right!
What happened to a girl? They blinded her too?
They had other plans.
Well it took me a long time to find out.
Is this heaven?
You are not dead, Jamal.
What is it?
Some hotel huh?
The Taj Mahal is considered the finest example of Mugal architecture.
Taj Mahal was completed around 1648 using the labour force of 20'000 workers.
In 1980 it became a UNESCO World Heritage Site and was cited as the...
Please, please.
What time is the next tour?
We are on tight schedule, you see.
Have to see the Red Fort this afternoon.
Please, would it be possible to show us up round now?
Obviously we understand that it costs more for just the two of us.
But of course madam!
Please follow me.
The Taj Mahal was built by Emperor Khurrama
for his wife Mumtaz, who was the maximum beautiful woman in the world.
Then when she died, the emperor decided to build this five-star hotel,
for everyone who would like to visit her tomb.
But he died in 1587,
before any of the rooms were built, or any of the lifts.
But this swimming pool as you can see was completed on schedule in top class fashion.
Is says nothing of this in the guide book.
The guide book was written by a bunch of lazy good-for-nothing Indian beggars.
And this lady and gentlemen,
is the burial place of Mumtaz.
How did she die?
A road traffic accident. Really?
Maximum pile-up.
I thought she died in childbirth.
Exactly sir.
She was on the way to hospital when it happened.
Ready?
Smile.
Shoes!
American brands! Shoes!
It's high temperature?
Smile.
This, Mr David, is the biggest Dhobi Ghat in the whole of India.
That's amazing.
Come on, take a real good look at this.
They say that every man in Uttar Pradesh
is wearing a kurta that has been at least washed once out here.
Move it around! Pit-stop's god speed! Schumacher's style!
There are the cows or are those buffaloes. What are those over there?
Go, go. Let's run!
Oh, shit.
What the hell happened here?
Motherfucker!
Ok, that's enough!
Ok. Hold it! Hold it, will you.
You've got the insurance don't you?
Are you ok?
You wanted to see a bit of real India?
Here it is!
Al right!
Well, here is a bit of the real America, son.
Oh, yes, yes! Jesus...
Here.
On an American 100 dollar bill,
there's a portrait of which American statesman?
Pay or play, Jamal?
You decide.
Oh god he's looking at the camera. He hasn't got a clue.
This is gonna be a walk away. Stand by.
No, he's gonna play with him first.
Jamal?
Get a lot of 100 dollar bills in your in your line of work?
A minimum tip for my services.
Oh, now I know why my cellphone bills are so high.
They tip the chaiwalla with 100 dollar bills.
It's C. Benjamin Franklin.
You're gonna play, huh?
I think I've just had, hadn't I?
So you exactly have C, right?
Who's on 1,000 rupee note?
I don't know.
You don't know?
Ghandi-ji.
I have heard of him.
Don't get clever
or I'll get the electricity out again.
Look.
They didn't ask me that question.
I don't know why.
Ask them.
It's funny, you don't seem like you're interested in money.
By the fact you have...
one million rupees!
Explain the 100 dollar bill.
Bombay had turned name to Mumbay.
Why don't you understand?
Two chicken burgers, two fries, one mango rassi, one coke!
One mineral water!
Shimla.
I'm going to Chowpatty, ok?
Wanna come?
For god's sake,
you've got some disease?
You're forcing back to this shithole.
We leave our friends, a good life,
lots of money. For this?
We came back to find her.
You did. I don't give a shit about her.
Plenty of pussy in Bombay for Salim.
Oh yes sir!
You should come back to the Cages on Saturday night,
instead of ghost searching for your lost love.
I'm going to Chowpatty.
I'm going to Chowpatty!
There are 19 million people in this city, Jamal.
Forget about her.
She is a street.
Benjamin Franklin.
I'm sorry...
Thanks.
Know Cherry?
Where can we found Cherry?
You want Cherry?
Get lost! Go home.
Where's Cherry?
Cherry? Inside.
So, is it her or not?
She's sexy, man!
Get on, Latika!
Who is this? Jamal?
I'll get the bags. Who are you?
What do you want?
You stupid boys! Pack it in! Put that.
How did you find me?
Later, later...
Take the cash. Come on!
Come on. We got it.
Let's go! Let's go!
Shit.
Look who we have here!
Hello again.
Jamal,
Salim.
I never forget a face.
Right Punnoose?
Especially one that I own.
You really thought you could just walk in and take my prize away?
Latika, come.
Have you any idea how much this little virgin is worth?
Sisterfucker!
Please continue, Master-ji. Ok, sir.
Get them out of here! No!
Move! Get over there!
Let's not be foolish, Salim.
Heavy, isn't it?
Give it to me.
On your knees!
Down!
Both of you! Down!
Money!
You can have money,
here.
Look.
Take it.
Go, disappear with your friend and we'll forget all about this, ok?
Maman never forgets.
Isn't that right?
Oh, Maman can make an exception.
I can't take that risk Maman.
Sorry.
Let's go.
Stay!
Jamal!
Let's go! Let's go!
Who invented the revolver?
Samuel Colt.
Final answer?
Final answer.
Jamal Malik,
you're on a dream run.
My heart says you're gonna win more.
Computer-ji,
A lock.
I was right.
The chaiwalla has done it again.
Incredible!
Reception!
Let's go.
Found something?
Stay there. Look away.
Ok, ok.
I'll know if you're looking.
No I'm not.
Is Salim still there?
Where is Salim?
I don't know.
You're a sweet boy, Jamal.
I'm looking for Javed.
Motherfucker! He's not looking for you.
I killed Maman,
and I'll kill you too.
Easy.
Did you really kill him?
Good.
My enemy's enemy is a friend.
Come here, my friend.
I've been looking for someone like you.
You came back for me.
Of course.
I thought you'd forgotten.
I never forgot.
Not for one moment.
I knew I'd find you in the end.
It's our destiny.
Destiny?
Ok.
Hey.
Come.
No, brother. You had a lot to drink.
I am the elder.
I am the boss.
For once, you do as I say.
Now get out!
Come on, I saved your life, didn't I?
Salim, please...
Shut up.
I'll kill you!
Salim!
I'll kill you!
I am number one now.
Salim!
Salim! Open!
Shut up!
The man with the Colt 45 says shut up!
Go now or gun master-ji and I will shoot you right between the eyes.
Don't think you won't.
I'm giving you five seconds.
One.
Two.
Go, Jamal.
Go.
Let's go.
So, did you see them again?
I wouldn't be here if I had.
Was she pretty?
I guess not.
The most beautiful woman in the world.
You mean the bitch of the slum.
Sisterfucker.
Hey hero.
Hey beat him!
Hey lock him down!
Lock him... he fights! Motherfucker!
Well well...
The slumdog barks.
Money and women.
The reasons for make most mistakes in life. Correct.
Looks like you've mixed up both.
Srinivas,
you need the exercise.
Go and get me something to eat.
Yes sir.
And tea.
Idiot, Srinivas.
You puzzled me slumdog.
Admitting murder to avoid child fraud.
Is not exactly clever thinking.
Now why would you do that?
When somebody asks me a question,
I tell them the answer.
So, how did you manage to get on the show?
Okay everyone, listen up.
It's been a big week for UK.
Kat is back.
But she is already back.
Bardi...
Jamal?
Oh, well, she did come back,
then she went away when Alfie split up with her,
and now she's back again,
but it looks as if Alfie still fancies more...
Thank you, Jamal.
Bardi, keep up. The chaiwalla knows more than you.
Anyway, there's also the festival in Edinburgh.
Anybody knows Edinburgh, Edinburgh?
Kilts, castles,
Haggis.
Ben Navis.
Good, yes?
Inspector Taggart, whiskey, Sean Connery.
Good, and "lochs". Their word for lakes.
No filming.
Jamal?
Come here.
I'm on "Millionaire" duty today.
Dev!
Please, just for five minutes. I can't.
Sit here.
If the team leader comes just pretend you're on a call doing an upgrade for.
"Friends and Family", I know. Yeah.
Two minutes.
"Who wants to be a millionaire?"
Dial this number now!
Hello. Hello!
I would like to be a contestant of "Who wants to be a millionaire?"
Bloody bastard. I never get it.
You have to dial, when Prem says "if".
That's when they open the lines.
How the hell do you know that?
That's what Anjum in Technical says. He put a system in.
Hello? Hello?
Forgetting someone there for god's sake?
Hello? Dear god will somebody talk to me?
Hello.
Mrs. MacKintosh from...
Kin.. gussie.
It's Kingussie, love. Pronounced: "Kee-nu-ssi".
So where are you from? Abroad I bet?
Just down the road from your house, Mrs. MacKintosh.
Next to the "loch".
Ok, which "loch"?
"Loch" Big... "loch" Ben... "Loch" Big Ben.
Next door to Sean Connery's flat.
Look. I'd like to your supervisor, son?
Yes?
Salim?
Who is this? Do you know what time is this?
Hello?
Who is this?
I'm calling from XL5 Communications sir.
As a valued customer, we are offering you a free upgrade with our "Friends and...
family".
Jamal?
Is that you, brother?
Where are you? I thought you were dead or something.
Listen, we had to go Jamal.
Maman's guys... they were searching the hotel.
Jamal?
Say something, please!
Hello, Salim!
Cambridge Circus is not in Cambridge.
Can I ask why?
Too obvious. There's definitely an Oxford Circus in London.
There's a rowing race between Oxford and Cambridge, so there's probably
a Cambridge Circus too, no?
I'll go for D.
London.
Computer-ji,
D lock.
Jamal Malik,
you are absolutely right.
It's getting hot in here.
Are you nervous?
What?
Am I nervous?
It's you who's in the hot seat, my friend.
Oh yes, sorry.
Balli, he's got prey on the run.
Finally.
A few hours ago...
you were giving chai for the phone wallas.
And now you're richer than they will ever be.
What a player!
Ladies and gentlemen, what a player!
Jamal?
God is good, Brother. God is good.
Maman's guys were out for us.
We just had to escape.
Liar.
I left a message for you at work.
We waited for weeks for you at Nagpur.
There was no message. Brother.
I definitely left a message.
There was no message! There was no message! There was no message!
I will never forgive you.
I know.
That used to be our slum.
Can you believe that, huh?
We used to live right there man.
Now is all business.
India is at the centre of the world now. Brother.
And I...
I am at the centre of the centre.
This is all Javed's houses.
Javed Khan?
The gangster from our slum?
You work for him?
Come on.
Who else would save us from Maman's guys?
What do you do for him?
Anything he asks.
He's coming.
You need to go now.
Take my card.
What for?
You think them gonna let you out of my sight again?
You stay with me my younger brother.
Now go. My place.
Salim!
Where is Latika?
Still?
She's gone brother.
Long gone.
Now go.
Go to my place.
Ok, Sir. I'll be right there.
Go.
Brother-ji, I am your new cook from the agency.
Thousands apologies, I'm so late for the Mensa.
Just a minute.
Excuse me.
There's nothing about any cook.
There's a dishwasher being delivered.
Do you know anything about that?
Oh brother, I... I'm your dishwasher.
Jamal!
Look at you.
I've found you!
I've found you.
Your face.
You've hurt your eye.
Why are you here?
To see you.
Why?
You see me,
now what?
Why does everyone love this program?
This is a chance to escape,
isn't it?
Walk into another life.
Oh, god.
Javed will kill you. Here.
Javed?
You are with him?
First, you want a dishwasher,
now you want this fucking cook?
He's just...
Shut up!
The cricket is on.
And why you watch this shit TV?
At least I am a millionaire.
Come on, I am hungry. Make me a sandwich.
Come away with me.
Away? Where?
And live out what?
Love.
Come away with me. Now.
Salim will help us.
Salim?
You still believe in Salim?
Jamal, I'll be gone soon anyway.
We're getting out of Bombay.
Where?
You think he'd tell me?
No! No! No!
Fuck.
What is this shit?
Get out!
Motherfucker.
Go, before he kills us both.
You want to do something for me?
Anything.
Then forget me.
What? No.
I will wait. The VT station. 5 O'clock, every day until you come.
I love you.
So what?
It's too late, Jamal. Now go.
So Jamal.
Which cricketer has scored the most first class centuries in history?
But remember, if you answer wrong...
you lose everything...
just like this.
So do you want to do this?
Dreams of so many...
on the floor.
Latika.
Latika! Latika!!
Jamal! Jamal!... Jamal!
No Jamal!
Latika!
Time for commercial break ladies and gentlemen.
I know, I know. I can't stand the tension either.
We'll be right back.
Guy from the slums,
becomes a millionaire overnight.
You know who's the only other person who's done that?
Me.
I know what it feels like.
I know what you're being through.
I'm not going to become a millionaire.
I don't know the answer.
You said that before, yeah...
No really, this time I don't.
Come on, you can't take the money and run now.
You are on the edge of history kid.
I don't see what else I can do.
Maybe it's written my friend.
I don't know I just have some kind of gut feeling,
you're gonna win this.
Trust me, Jamal.
You're gonna win.
Standby, everyone. We are on line in 13...
Rakesh please give backup, man.
Yeah, he's gone. I'm just giving...
Come fast.
20 seconds!
Do the right thing and in approximately 3 minutes,
you'll be as famous as me.
10 seconds!
And as rich as me.
Almost.
5 seconds!
4... 3...
From rags to Raja.
It's your destiny.
We are on. Applause and music please!
Jugulu out, cut!
Welcome back to "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?"
In the chair tonight is Jamal Malik,
as if we don't know.
For 10 million rupees.
To question once again.
No it isn't Sachin Tendulkar.
That's a start.
So it could be Ricky Ponting, Jack Hobbs or Michael Slater.
I'll use a lifeline.
Fifty-fifty.
Ok.
Computer, take away the two wrong answers please.
Well, you were right about Sachin Tendulkar.
That leaves your fifty-fifty choice, Jamal.
B: Ricky Ponting or D: Jack Hobbs.
What do you think?
Decision time.
For 10 million rupees.
B: Ricky Ponting.
Or D: Jack Hobbs.
D.
Not B?
The Ricky Ponting, the Australian great cricketer?
D, Jack Hobbs.
You know?
So it could be B, Ricky Ponting?
Or D, Jack Hobbs.
The final answer, D.
Computer-ji D...
D Lock.
D lock. Computer-ji D lock.
With 197 first class centuries, the answer is...
D, Jack Hobbs!
Jamal Malik!
Millionaire!
Do the dance! Come on! Come on!
Well done!
Well done.
So, are you ready for the final question?
For 20 million rupees.
No.
But maybe it's written, no?
Maybe.
Okay. The final question!
Who wants to be a...
What a show ladies and gentlemen! What a show!
Join us tomorrow night,
to see if Jamal Malik has made,
the biggest mistake of his life...
This way.
Great show.
See you tomorrow ok.
Be on time. Yeah.
Bye.
Let's go! Easy!
No tricks! What's going on?
He's a cheat. How do you know he's cheating?
Bloody village boy.
I fed him the wrong answer, and he never should call it right.
You gave him an answer?
Not exactly.
Well that doesn't matter.
That's my show!
My fucking show!
It is a bizarrely plausible,
and yet...
Because,
I'm a slumdog,
a chaiwalla.
I'm a liar right?
Most of you are.
But you are not a liar, Mr Malik. That's for sure.
You are too truthful.
We're done.
I don't know where they've taken her.
Latika.
I went on the show, because I thought she'd be watching.
Did Jamal Malik, an uneducated 18 year old boy from the slums of Mumbay,
win one crore by fair means or by foul play.
And the crowd around me bears an even bigger question:
Will he be back tonight to play for another 20 million rupees?
Jamal Malik, a name which has been in news in every town,
neighbourhood, villages and homes.
18 year old Jamal Malik,
is from Juhu Mumbai and he's showing his elegance
in the show "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire".
Jamal Malik has won 1 core rupees and just one question away from...
Come on girls!
Hey you come here, give me a kiss.
Come on girls!
Hey, move back.
As if it wasn't enough drama in a contestant reaching the final question,
Jamal Malik was last night arrested on suspicion of fraud.
That guy.
He will never come.
Ever.
Crazy fucker.
Go.
But...
Just drive.
There won't be another chance.
He will kill you.
Yes ok.
I'll take care of him.
Salim, I can't.
You have to.
God sake will take you out of this.
Evil what I've done,
please forgive me.
Have a good life.
You're back on the show.
Come on!
The nation's gripped with millionaire fever.
As Jamal Malik, an uneducated young man from the Juhu slum in Mumbay,
won a staggering 10 million rupee
on a television show who wants to be a millionaire,
and estimated 90 million people watching us tonight
to see if he will make a one stage further to 20 million rupees.
Come on!
Where is everyone?
Get back in there!
Get back to work! Now.
Chaiwalla?
Welcome back to "Who wants to be a millionaire."
I can safely say that tonight,
is the biggest night of both our lives.
Jamal Malik, the call assistant worker from Mumbay,
has already won 10 million.
He can walk away with that in his pocket or make,
the biggest gamble in television history.
Go for the final question,
and a staggering 20 million rupees.
Are you ready for that question?
Yes. Jamal!
Big reader are you, Jamal?
I can read.
Lucky.
A: Aramis.
B: Cardinal Richelieu.
C: D'Artagnan.
Or D: Planchet.
Porthos!
Final question for 20 million rupees and he is smiling.
I guess you know the answer.
Do you believe it, I don't.
You don't?
So you take the 10 million and walk?
No.
I'll play.
Let remind you, Jamal.
If you get the answer wrong,
you lose everything.
10 million rupees, Jamal.
It's a fortune.
I'd like to phone a friend.
You're going to the wire.
The final lifeline.
Here we go.
It's ringing!
Who is it?
That's my brother's number, but...
The kind of brother, who go for a walk on a 20 million rupee question?
It's the only number I know.
You are on your own, Jamal.
Hello?
Hello, Jamal?
I'm guessing that isn't your brother.
This is...
My name is Latika.
Okay, Latika.
You want to hear the question one more time?
And let's be clear about this.
20 million rupees right on your answer,
you have 30 seconds.
Latika!
Jamal.
Salim! Please read out the question to Latika now.
It is really you?
Yes.
The question, Jamal. The question!
In Alexandre Dumas' book, the "The Three Musketeers",
two of the musketeers are called Athos and Porthos.
What was the name of the third Musketeer?
Was it A:
Aramis, B:
Cardinal Richelieu, C: D'Artagnan,
D: Planchet?
15 seconds!
Where are you?
I am safe.
10 seconds!
Latika, what do you think?
I don't know.
I've never known.
Jamal, God will...
You really are on your own now, Jamal.
Your final answer for 20 million rupees.
A.
A, because?
Just...
because.
Hey, Salim!
You inside, you shameless Salim...
Final answer?
Latika!
Yes, final answer. A,
Aramis.
Computer-ji, lock A.
Jamal Malik,
Salim! Salim! Open the door! Salim!
Call centre assistant from Mumbay,
chaiwalla,
for two draws 20 million rupees.
You were asked who the third musketeer was,
in novel by Alexander Dumas.
You answered,
A,
Aramis.
Which is. I have to tell you.
The right answer!
Jamal Malik!
Double millionaire!
God is great.
What a night!
I knew you'd be watching.
I thought we'd be together only in death.
This is our destiny.
Kiss me.
LESAIGNEUR Sync & corrections July 2016 lesaigneur@hotmail.com