1 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,007 There. That's better. 2 00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:42,640 All clean. 3 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:52,560 He sees you when you're sleepin' He knows when you're awake 4 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:53,960 What are you doing here? 5 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,520 - And what are you talking about? - I'm talkin' about Santa Claus! 6 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:00,840 Only 159 days left till Christmas, so you better be good. 7 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:04,560 I'd better be good? How 'bout this? You better be scarce. Now go on. 8 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,400 I don't care about Christmas. 9 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,320 Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way 10 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,320 - Donkey! - 51 days left till Christmas. 11 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,760 Get your butt in gear and get your marshmallows, 12 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,920 because without marshmallows, sweet potatoes are nothin'! 13 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:26,120 Enough! I don't care about any of this nonsense. 14 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:27,240 Now shoo! 15 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:29,440 OK. But don't say I didn't say I told you so. 16 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:37,360 Smashing through the snow And laughin' all the way 17 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,920 It's finally here. Tomorrow's Christmas Eve! Got everything ready? 18 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,800 - No. - You haven't trimmed stockings 19 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:45,040 or hung your chestnuts or roasted the tree? 20 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:47,000 - Or figgified your puddin'? - Donkey! 21 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:48,800 Will you get it through your head? 22 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:52,120 No one here gives a hoot about Christmas! 23 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,000 A white Christmas! How perfect. 24 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:58,560 And it's our first one together as a family. Isn't this exciting? 25 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,120 Oh, yeah! How 'bout that? 26 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,080 There's somethin' Shrek needs to... 27 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,360 Don't ruin the surprise for her, Donkey. 28 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:08,240 Surprise? Oh, I love surprises! 29 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,440 You're the best. Come on, let's go make some cookies. 30 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,120 OK, you a dead man. You know that? 31 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:17,120 Hold that thought. I'll be right back. 32 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:40,480 OH, good, you're still open. 33 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,360 No, we're closing now. Merry Christmas. 34 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,520 Wait, wait, wait! I need your help. I have to make a Christmas, 35 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,120 and I have no idea what it is or how to do it! 36 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,200 Why didn't you say so? That's super. 37 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,840 I know all about Christmas, and I've just the book. 38 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,880 Christmas for Village Idiots. It's all spelled out. See? 39 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,440 One, decorate house. Two, the stockings by the fireplace. 40 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,880 Step three, the Christmas feast. 41 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,280 - What's that? - Step four? The Christmas tree! 42 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,160 The tree goes inside the house? 43 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,480 Anyway, step five, the telling of the Christmas story. 44 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,640 This is the step that says I created the perfect Christmas 45 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:16,400 for my perfect family perfectly. Family by the fire, 46 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:18,880 everyone cozy and warm. Happy, happy. Voila! 47 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:20,680 - Sure. - Long story short, 48 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,640 it's all right here. It's no problem. 49 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,600 - Perfect. - I mean, how hard can it be? 50 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:28,400 - I didn't get the eggnog! - Closed?! What do you mean? 51 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,640 - Dwight the Knight action figure? - Marshmallows! 52 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:33,360 Sweet potatoes are nothing without marshmallows! 53 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,400 Bye-bye. Have a super Christmas. 54 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,200 Honey, is that you? 55 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:49,480 Fiona! What are you doing up so early? 56 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:53,080 - Are you OK? - I'm all right. 57 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:57,320 What are you? Are you decorating? 58 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:00,920 - Yeah, that. Surprised? - Yes. 59 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:04,200 Well, this is our first Christmas together as a family, 60 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:07,400 and, you know, I just want to make sure that it's perfect. 61 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,520 Shrek, I think... it's beautiful. 62 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,400 - It's passable. - It's horrible! 63 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,760 - Donkey! - They usually toilet paper and run. 64 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,480 Whoever did this means business! Get rid of all this 65 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,480 and get tinsel and doilies and ribbons 66 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,040 and some plastic reindeer. 67 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,040 What is it you wanted today? 68 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:26,120 It's Christmas Eve! I've brought you a little somethin'. 69 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:29,000 Go ahead, take a couple. I bought plenty for everybody! 70 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:31,640 Oh, isn't that... nice. 71 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:35,960 Well, thanks for stopping by for that brief visit, but as you can see, 72 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:37,720 there's a lot of work to do. 73 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,720 Just like him to wait till last minute. 74 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:42,480 Don't worry, there's one thing I know, it's Christmas. 75 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:45,400 He's gonna want help, advice, and he's definitely... 76 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:50,280 Actually, I think what he really wants is a nice family Christmas. 77 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:53,640 Oh, a family Christmas. 78 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:55,680 Yeah. It's the first one with the kids. 79 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,080 Don't say a word. I know exactly what you mean. 80 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:00,520 I got a lot to do now, so I better get movin'. 81 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,880 Thank you, Donkey! And Merry Christmas! 82 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,440 All right. Merry Christmas! 83 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:08,080 Love and joy come to you and to me some waffles too 84 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:12,280 Donkey's right. It's Christmas Eve. 85 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,880 How am I ever gonna get this done in time? 86 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,200 This is gonna be the best Christmas ever. 87 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,560 And we're going to do it together, so come on. 88 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:45,760 Everything looks so good! 89 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,360 Nice job, honey. 90 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,680 Well, we all did it together. 91 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:53,320 Now what would the perfect Christmas be without a Christmas story? 92 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:58,800 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house 93 00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:02,120 Not a creature was stirring... What? 94 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,680 - Merry Christmas, Shrek! - Oh, not you! 95 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,800 We're here to smother you with Christmas love! 96 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:09,480 Absolutely not! Bad Donkey! Go home! 97 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,800 How are you gonna have Christmas without family? 98 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,720 - Seasons greeting! - Happy Holidays! 99 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,640 - Merry Christmas! - A nice surprise! 100 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,080 Oh, yeah. 101 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,480 OK, I will assume the position. 102 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:30,760 - I am the joy-filled swine! - Yay, for the season of love! 103 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:34,080 This is for stockings. You can't be hanging laundry up! 104 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,200 Donkey! Don't touch anything. 105 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,760 How we gonna roast chestnuts on this little bitty fire? 106 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:40,840 Hey, baby, you mind? 107 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,560 - Oh, boy! - This way, gents. 108 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,440 That was our supper! 109 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:52,160 Hey! 110 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,240 Did you hurt yourself when you fell out of heaven? 111 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,640 - Where are we going to put it? - I don't know. 112 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,720 Let's put it over here. No, that is not with the feng shui. 113 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,560 Come on, everybody, let's dance! 114 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:20,160 - Occupied! - It's me. Shrek? 115 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,920 - Yes? - Come back to the party. Please? 116 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,000 I don't think that'd be such a good idea. 117 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:29,600 Come on. It's not that bad. 118 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:32,400 OK, I know you're not a party person, but... 119 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:35,760 But what? This is not the kind of Christmas I had in mind. 120 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:39,120 They're our friends, Shrek. They all mean well. 121 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:42,040 - How many babies did Fiona have? - She has babies? 122 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,440 - I don't know. - I better get back to the house. 123 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,440 Surprised we have a house to go back to. 124 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:49,840 - Are you coming? - I can hardly wait. 125 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,680 Finally! 126 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:00,880 Look at him go! 127 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:02,760 Excuse me! Excuse me! 128 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,480 Excuse you for what? 129 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,400 I don't feel very good. 130 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:11,720 - I feel better now. - A chocolate chip! 131 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:12,840 Sweetheart? 132 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:18,960 Mind if I cut in? 133 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,640 Don't stop believing 134 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,800 Up and down the boulevard 135 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,680 I am a little Christmas angel! 136 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,640 Hey there, my sweeties. 137 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:39,200 Would you like Daddy to finish the story for you? 138 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:40,480 Yeah? 139 00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:43,240 The children were nestled all snug in their beds, 140 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,560 - while visions of sugarplums... - Were you tellin' 'em 141 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,480 The Night Before Christmas? That's the best Christmas story ever! 142 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,440 - I'm the best teller ever! - Donkey... 143 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,000 I got it committed to memorization! 144 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,960 - Gather round! - Donkey! Wait! 145 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,360 I'm supposed to tell the Christmas story. 146 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,320 'Twas the night before Christmas and I spent all the day 147 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,120 Finishin' up on my Christmas display 148 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,680 Now, missin' all this would be nothin' but tragic 149 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,400 So just follow me and I'll show you the magic 150 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,560 Now, out in the yard in a glorious clutter 151 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:13,360 Is a spectacle there that'll make your heart flutter 152 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,880 With 20-foot cheese balls and a big eggnog fountain 153 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,880 And yodelin' elves on an ambrosia mountain 154 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,360 A stage where acrobats jump, leap and prance 155 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:24,400 And honor the day through interpretive dance 156 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,520 But just when you think the display is complete 157 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,080 The Christmas parade comes right down the street 158 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,480 With holiday floats all in silver and blue 159 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:35,440 With sugarplum fairies and a reindeer or two 160 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:38,160 There's a baton-twirlin' snowman all happy and perky 161 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:41,000 Magical peacocks and a dancin' roast turkey 162 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,560 And right when you think that you've just seen it all 163 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:51,280 Comes a huge waffle Santa that's 50 feet tall 164 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,760 Ho, ho, ho! 165 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,560 With syrup and butter the sight just amazes 166 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:59,280 As it's flanked by a choir all singin' his praises 167 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,600 - Donkey. - Santa? 168 00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:10,880 - Donkey! - Santa! 169 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,800 Donkey! 170 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,920 Very inappropriate, amigo. Please, allow me. 171 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,360 - Oh, Puss, not you too. - In my homeland, 172 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,280 we tell a very different tale of the Santa Nicholas. 173 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,600 He's not made of waffles. 174 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:26,720 This Santa was suave He was nothing like that 175 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:30,840 The Santa I know was a hot Latin cat 176 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:34,760 He was dressed all in fur from his head to his paws 177 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:40,120 And he stood there heroic A real Santa... Claws 178 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,640 Red are his boots 179 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,440 - And so is his cape - Olé! 180 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:49,320 His sword is a cane that tastes like crab cake 181 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,840 He wears a fine belt and a leather cravat 182 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:56,200 And there's a cute fuzzy thing which hangs down from his hat 183 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,960 I have shamed myself. 184 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,160 - Olé! - All right, everybody, 185 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:14,000 if you leave now, you can beat the holiday traffic. 186 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,880 Phooey with all your sunshine and lollipops! 187 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:20,240 Where I come from, Christmas is a nightmare. 188 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,800 'Twas the night before Christmas and the prettiest sights 189 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:29,800 Were my sweetheart beside me in the bright Christmas lights 190 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,520 ...until they got home. 191 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:35,880 When they looked at the car door handle, and they found a hook! 192 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:40,400 Gingy, cut it out! You're really givin' me the creeps! 193 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:43,280 Oh, come on, I was just teasin'. 194 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:46,080 Come here, you. 195 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:48,160 Gingy, I couldn't stay mad at you. 196 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:49,840 What was that? 197 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,560 Oh, no, you don't. I'm not fallin' for that again. 198 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,520 No, I'm really, really seriously not kidding. 199 00:11:58,160 --> 00:11:59,080 Gingy! 200 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,920 Suzie! 201 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,400 No! No! No! 202 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,880 That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. 203 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,240 - That's not how it goes. - You weren't there! 204 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,440 All right, everyone, I've had just about enough! 205 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:23,600 All I wanted was a nice Christmas with my family. 206 00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:27,760 That's exactly why we're all here! Come on, let's finish tellin' my story. 207 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:32,200 No, Donkey, that's not what I meant. And get out of my chair. 208 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,040 - Hey, what's this? - Donkey, let go of the book. 209 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:40,000 - Why are you whisperin'? - I'm not kiddin'. Give me the book! 210 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:45,800 - Heimlich! - Ja? 211 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:47,600 - No, Heimlich! - Oh, ja! 212 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:55,200 My eye! 213 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,120 Stop, drop and roll, Shrek! 214 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,200 - Somebody get some water! - I got it! 215 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,960 Don't worry, Shrek, everything is under control! 216 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,600 Oh, boy. 217 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,800 - The tea is ready. - Out! 218 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:21,800 I want everybody out of my house right now! 219 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,800 Well, that's a real nice way to treat your guests on Christmas! 220 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:33,720 And if you think I'm gonna give you a present now, you are sadly mistaken! 221 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,200 You want to give me a present? Then go away! 222 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:39,120 - That's all I wanted! - Fine! I'm going! 223 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,520 Good, then go! 224 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:44,200 You go and have yourself a merry Christmas. 225 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,720 - Ebenezer Shrek! - And a "Bah, humbug" to you too! 226 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,080 - We could come to our house. - We have plenty of schnitzel. 227 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,280 Now maybe we can... 228 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:02,000 Fiona? Where you going? 229 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:05,480 Shrek, you just kicked everybody out on Christmas. 230 00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:07,920 Well, that wasn't Christmas. That was chaos! 231 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,800 Look, I know it didn't go like you wanted. 232 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:14,640 What I wanted was a perfect Christmas for me and my family. 233 00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:17,200 - That was our family. - You call that a family? 234 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,400 That was a natural disaster! 235 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:22,280 On Christmas, that's how it works. Yes, it was crowded. 236 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,320 Yes, it got a little out of hand. 237 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,600 - Fiona, they lit me on fire! - Shrek... 238 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:32,160 I had everything under control until they showed up and ruined my Christmas! 239 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:35,400 - Your Christmas? - I mean our Christmas. 240 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,960 For you, and the babies. 241 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:42,840 Christmas is not just about you or me. Or even the babies. 242 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,000 You just don't get it. 243 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:51,120 I have to go. I need to apologize to our friends. 244 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,160 Fiona, wait. 245 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:42,440 I don't understand why Shrek had to be so mean and cranky. 246 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,240 We were tryin' to do what you wanted! 247 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:47,120 - What're you talking about? - What you said this morning. 248 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,000 You and Shrek wanted to have a big, noisy family Christmas. 249 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,720 I said it was our first Christmas together as a family. 250 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,840 Right. That's me and everybody else. 251 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:56,680 Then he lost his temper like that. 252 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,920 You know, Donkey, none of us really asked Shrek what he wanted. 253 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,880 I must agree with the Princess. And you, were no Christmas angel. 254 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,760 - I don't remember askin' you anything! - Donkey. 255 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,600 I'm sorry, Princess. You're right. 256 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:12,040 - Still, Shrek didn't have to be so... - What? 257 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:15,760 Pigheaded? Stubborn? Mean? 258 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:20,640 Well, maybe I am all those things, but I'm an ogre, OK? 259 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:23,400 So here's the thing. 260 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:27,040 I'm sorry you took getting kicked out of my house the wrong way. 261 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:30,800 No, wait. What I meant to say is 262 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:34,720 I know you're just trying to be helpful in your irritating fashion... 263 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:38,880 - Ay, caramba! - Some people can't help being annoying. 264 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,960 - Shrek! - Look, 265 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,080 I shouldn't have lost my temper. 266 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,800 - Apology accepted. Let's eat. - Wait a minute. 267 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,880 There's somethin' more to this. Come on, what's goin' on? 268 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:54,440 Look, all I wanted was to make this perfect for my family, 269 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:58,480 but I don't even know what Christmas means. 270 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,760 The thing is, this is my first Christmas too. 271 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:06,080 Hold up, Shrek! You mean that you never had... 272 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:07,200 - No. - Not even one? 273 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:08,760 - No! - You mean no chestnuts, 274 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,720 no Santa, no presents, no stockings? 275 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,960 - No nut cakes?! - Donkey! 276 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:16,240 No, none of that. 277 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:19,600 Ogres don't celebrate Christmas. 278 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:22,720 Ogres don't celebrate anything. 279 00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:28,040 Oh, man, now I'm all emotional. 280 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:31,080 - Come here, gimme a hug! - All right, that's close enough. 281 00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:33,680 OK, all right, I just... guess I got... a little 282 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,880 excited about Christmas and all the presents and mistletoe 283 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,960 and everything, and I forgot that it's... 284 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:43,600 It's about us all bein' together, and I'm... I'm sorry, Shrek. 285 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:47,600 I know, Donkey, and... and I'm sorry it ended up in a great big fight. 286 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,360 Christmas is all about big fights. 287 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:52,840 My mama used to say, "Christmas ain't Christmas till somebody cries." 288 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:54,560 Usually that someone's me. 289 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,360 There is no right way to do Christmas. You just do it. 290 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:58,840 Ja, with schnitzel! 291 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,760 - And eggnog! - And cheese! 292 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:04,960 - And family. - Yeah. And family. 293 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:09,080 So despite the fact that you drive me crazy at times... 294 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,680 Yes, Donkey, I'm lookin' at you. 295 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:16,200 ...it would mean a lot to me if you'd all come back and join us. 296 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,760 OK, I guess I deserved that. 297 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:22,240 Don't push your luck. 298 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:25,520 They got you good, Shrek! 299 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,040 That wasn't even funny! Who did that? 300 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,920 Well, that's the last of the spare blankets. 301 00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:39,080 Sorry, but this is my spot. I never get the good spots, so I specifically... 302 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,920 So we are pigs, pigs in the blanket, ja? 303 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,320 - Ja. - Ja. 304 00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:47,640 - This is funny then, ja? - Ja, ja. 305 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:48,840 - This is funny. - Ja. 306 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,560 - Yep, that's a good one. - Good night, everyone. 307 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,440 - It's time for lights out. - We can't go to sleep yet. 308 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,800 We haven't heard a bedtime story. Right? 309 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:57,840 Shrek, yeah! 310 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:01,360 All right. All right. 311 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,360 Don't need this. 312 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,120 OK. 313 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,800 'Twas the night before Christmas 314 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,000 Not a swamp rat did creep 315 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:15,840 As mother and babe played kazoo in their sleep 316 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:21,200 Now, the sight of the house would make any ogre droop 317 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:24,640 For 'twas sickeningly sweet as unicorn poop 318 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:28,120 Yet who was arriving to help this lost cause? 319 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:32,760 The foul, the vile and handsome Ogre Claus 320 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,280 Hey. How's it goin'? 321 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,000 He looked all around and scratched at his beard 322 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,840 And said... 323 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,200 And said... 324 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:44,600 This place is worse than I thought... feared. 325 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,760 So he grabbed up his belly and screwed up his face 326 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:48,880 And let loose a... 327 00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:53,120 That transformed the place 328 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:56,280 With a gleam in his eye his work here was done 329 00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:59,480 And then to the babies he gave one by one 330 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,360 A festering bottle of stinky swamp juice 331 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,880 And for mommy a kiss and a good Christmas goose 332 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,840 Four hundred twenty five degrees, 20 minutes per pound. 333 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:12,120 Then digging a finger inside of his nose 334 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:16,080 And giving a nod up the chimney he rose 335 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:20,080 And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight 336 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:25,400 "Smelly Christmas to all, and to all a gross night!" 337 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,680 Ho, ho, ho! 338 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:31,680 Ho, ho, ho! 339 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:34,640 - Ho, ho, ho! - Santa?! 340 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,520 Ho, ho, ho! 341 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:42,920 Subtitles by LeapinLar