克劳索 Clouseau.
想当年…我第一次听到这个名字 Yes, well, the first time I ever heard that name...
克劳索还只是个无名小卒 ...Clouseau was just a little nobody.
一个在巴黎远郊执勤的巡警 A police officer in some little village far outside of Paris.
据我所知，他是小镇的活宝 He was the village idiot as far as I could tell.
蠢货，往前停！ Idiot, pull up.
杜蒙特先生 有劳您马上挪开您的“坐骑” Monsieur Dumont, you must move your vehicle immediately.
很抱歉，克劳索警官 I am so sorry, Officer Clouseau.
我的轮椅…它动不了 My chair, it won't move.
啊…问题在这里 Here's your problem.
你的电源线没有接好 Your battery cable has come undone. Let me help.
让我看看…正极接到负 Let's see. The positive to the negative.
负极接到正，搞定 The negative to the positive. There.
好了，你可以开动了 All right, you are ready to go.
清理完毕，大家动起来吧 All clear, keep it moving.
作为国家警署的总探长 As chief inspector of the Police Nationale...
对于那些“警察趣事”，多有耳闻 ...I hear many stories of our officers in the field.
其中很多故事 Clouseau generated many...
还得归功于克劳索的“贡献” ...many stories.
你因为涉嫌谋杀皮埃尔·福盖而被捕了！ You are under arrest for the murder of Pierre Fuquet.
皮埃尔·福盖？ Pierre Fuquet?
结案！ The case is closed.
不用说… Needless to say...
…克劳索是彻底没救了 ...Clouseau did not qualify for any advancement whatsoever.
我从没想到他能派上什么用场 I never thought for a moment I would have any use for him...
…直到那个命中注定的日子 ...until that fateful day.
那是一个制造谋杀案的好日子 It was a perfect day for a murder.
法国对中国，获胜者晋级决赛 France against China, with the winner advancing to the finals.
我作为国家警署的总探长 应邀前去观看 I had been invited, as chief inspector of the Police Nationale.
同时也因为我刚被提名“荣誉勋章” And because of my recent nomination for the Medal of Honor.
我已经获得过7次提名 I have been nominated seven times.
却从没获奖 I have never won.
不过…7次提名 But still, seven nominations...
也是很了不得的 ...that's something.
话说回来，当伊弗斯·格鲁昂特 法国队主教练 Anyway, the coach of the French team, Yves Gluant...
来到场中，像往常一样 向欢呼的群众致意 ...came out for his customary ovation.
他高高举起拳头 He raised his fist to the crowd.
上面戴着… On it:
粉红豹钻石 The Pink Panther diamond.
它是法国队荣耀和胜利的象征 It was quite the symbol of pride and victory for the French team.
格鲁昂特那时的女朋友 Gluant's girlfriend at that time...
是国际歌星仙妮娅 ...was Xania, the international pop star.
他们的爱情可谓“风雨不断” They had been having quite a stormy affair.
90分钟以后，双方踢成平局 By the end of regulation time the score was tied...
比赛又拖进了加时赛 ...and the game went into sudden death.
身为一个爱国的法国公民 以及一个铁杆球迷… For a patriotic Frenchman and a true fan like myself...
实在无法接受这样的结果 ...it was almost too thrilling to believe.
就在那个时候… And then...
…奇迹发生了 ...the miracle.
好球！ Yes! Yeah!
就在那个时候 面对人头攒动的足球场 And then, in front of a stadium filled with people...
格鲁昂特…竟突然倒地 ...Gluant collapsed...
…死了 ...dead.
一只毒镖扎进他的脖子 A poison dart in his neck.
而那个粉红豹钻戒… And the Pink Panther diamond...
…不见了 ...had disappeared.
片名：粉红豹 The Pink Panther
关于格鲁昂特的死 大小报纸一片悲恸之声 The newspapers fed on Gluant's murder with a frenzy.
对他们来说，整个世界都停滞了 For them, the world had stopped.
对我来说… For me...
却是一个绝佳的表现机会 ...it was an opportunity for my greatest triumph.
我知道办这个案子的绝佳人选 I know what we need for the Gluant case.
- 什么？ - 一个低级警官 - What? - An incompetent.
…一个刻板、循规蹈矩的低能儿 An unimaginative, by-the-book, low-level incompetent...
…只晓得原地打转 ...who will plod along, getting nowhere...
…任媒体跟着他跑 ...with the media watching his every step.
他在那里原地打转的时候 And while he is getting nowhere...
我会安排全法国 最精良的刑侦小队 ...I will put together the finest team of investigators in France...
擒获歹徒，追回粉红豹钻石 ...and we will hunt down the killer, retrieve the Pink Panther diamond...
荣誉勋章自然就非我莫属了 ...and then the Medal of Honor will be mine.
到哪儿去找这样的低能儿？ And who is this incompetent?
我已有完美人选 Oh, I think I know the perfect man for the job.
把他带到巴黎来 Find him and bring him to Paris.
他的名字叫克劳索 His name is Clouseau.
早安，小姐 Good morning, mademoiselle.
我马上就下来 I'll be right with you.
大法官为自己换了幅新照片… The minister of justice sent around a new picture of himself...
但那照片比总探长的要大 ...but it was bigger than Chief Inspector Dreyfus' picture.
总探长于是换了幅更大的 So the chief inspector had a larger one made.
巴黎就是这么个勾心斗角的地方 You'll find that Paris can be a very political place.
啊…政治，不过是给贪婪戴上了道德的面具 Yes, politics. Where greed wears the mask of morality.
说得好，这话是你说的？ That's good. Did you say that?
是的 Yes, I did.
- 您能扶我下来吗？ - 噢，当然可以 - Could you help me down? - Oh, yes, of course.
哦…这样…要不…？ Oh, yes. Here, just... Perhaps...
- 好的，我… - 好了 - Yes, l... - All right.
- 稍等 - 好的 - Wait. - Yeah.
别跳，很好… Don't jump. Yes, that's good. All right.
您能不能把腿放上来… I think if you put your leg right there...
- 好的 - 很好 - Okay. - Yes. Okay.
好了 Yes.
- 我什么都看不见了 - 要不到那边去？ - I can't see anything. - Maybe over here?
- 好的 - 好的 - Yes, okay. - Okay.
这里 Over here.
总探长现在要见你 The inspector will see you now.
他马上就过去 He'll be right with you.
克劳索… Clouseau.
- 克劳索… - 他进来了 - Clouseau. - He's coming in.
好的 Good.
雅克·克劳索，三级警官 Officer Jacques Clouseau, gendarme, third class.
- 一定很痛吧 - 不…一点也不 - That had to hurt. - No. No, not at all. No.
克劳索，叫你来是为了… Clouseau, the reason we called you here...
今天天气真不错… It is lovely weather we are having.
真希望一直都是好天气 I hope the weather continues.
现在安全了 The area is secure.
哦，非常感谢 Oh, thank you.
克劳索，我看过你的履历了 很明显… Clouseau, I have reviewed your records, and it is clear to me...
以你的能力完全可以胜任… ...that a man of your talent merits greater responsibility...
…更高的职位 ...than you have had up to this point.
我决定提升你为探长 I have decided to promote you to inspector...
国家最高级别的警官 ...the highest rank of any officer in the republic.
- 探长？ - 是的 - Inspector? - Exactly.
你的第一个案子 就是格鲁昂特的谋杀案 And your first case is the Gluant murder...
以及粉红豹钻石失窃案 ...and theft of the Pink Panther diamond.
- 荣幸之至 - 很好 - I am honored. - Good.
雅克·克劳索 借由法律赋予我的权力 Jacques Clouseau, by the power vested in me...
我现在任命你为探长… ...I hereby appoint you full inspector...
拥有以下权力… ...with all of the...
好了，有劳您在这儿签个字 Here, if you would be so kind, please.
噢，这是我的笔 Oh, here, take my pen.
谢谢 Thank you.
这样的传统法式自来水笔并不常见 One does not often see the traditional French fountain pen.
我会永远珍藏的 （他误以为总探长送他钢笔） I will cherish this forever.
不…不是要送给你 No. It is not a gift.
这是巴黎市市长送我的 That was given to me by the mayor of Paris.
这太贵重了… Well, then...
我不能接受 ...I cannot accept this.
新闻发布会要开始了 The press conference.
好了，克劳索 等会儿有个新闻发布会 Yes. Clouseau, there is a press conference...
几分钟以后 在走廊的那头举行 ...in just a few minutes down the hall...
…把你介绍给媒体 ...to introduce you to the media.
我们等会儿见了 呃…克劳索？ We'll meet you there. And, Clouseau?
是 Yes?
祝你好运 Good luck.
你也一样 Good luck to you.
新闻发布会在哪里？ And where is the press conference?
穿过拱廊… Go under the arch...
从右边的门出去，沿着走廊走 ...through the door on the right and down the hall.
恩… Well...
现场仍然安全！ The area is still secure.
多谢 Thank you.
他太“完美”了！ He's perfect.
好了，我们已经找到最佳人选 Yes, we have definitely found our man.
我怎么感觉湿湿的？ Why do I feel wet?
鉴于案件的特殊性质… Because of the unique nature of the crime...
我们指派了一个最佳人选 ...we have brought in a man specially suited to the case:
探长雅克·克劳索 Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
探长 Inspector.
- 请说 - 您的初步推断是什么？ - Yes? - Yes, what's your initial premise?
格鲁昂特是他杀 That Gluant did not want to be killed.
后面的推理就像顺藤摸… Everything else follows like liquid mercury...
摸…摸… ...flowing down a... A...
顺藤摸…东西 A sloping thing.
您多久能抓到凶手？ How long do you think it will take to find the killer?
借由法医鉴定和推理 以及最新科技的帮助… Right now the killer is being surrounded by a web of deduction...
诸如双向无线电通讯和电子邮件 ...forensic science and the latest in technology...
我们已经将歹徒重重包围 ...such as two-way radios and e-mail.
安排一个警察当他的司机 汇报他的所有行踪 Assign a man to be his driver who can report on his whereabouts at all times.
什么样的警察？ What kind of man?
只服从命令，从不怀疑的人 A man who follows orders and doesn't ask questions.
探长，您认为凶手是男性还是女性？ Inspector, do you know if the killer was a man or a woman?
不是男的就是女的，难道还会是只猫？ Well, of course I know that. What else is there? A kitten?
您认为有没有可能… Excuse me, do you think it's possible...
凶手现在正监视着你？ ...that the killer could be watching you now?
换作我是凶手，很可能正在暗中监视 Well, if I was a killer, I would certainly be watching...
…说不定还录了像留作纪念… ...and possibly taping for later playback...
你要知道… 能上电视可是了不起的事情 ...because, you know, it's a big deal to be talked about on TV.
不过我有话要对凶手说 But I have a message for the killer:
天网恢恢… There is no place you can hide.
疏而不漏 There is no place you cannot be seen.
作为国家的公仆 Killer, I will find you...
我定会将你捉拿归案 ...because I am a servant of the nation.
还正义以本色 Because justice is justice...
还法国以本色！ ...and because France is France.
- 你好啊，尼可 - 早上好，探长先生 - Bonjour, Nicole. - Good morning, inspector.
欢迎来到你的新办公室 Welcome to your new office.
你可能需要从这些档案开始… You should probably start by going through these files.
今天天气真不错… It is lovely weather we are having.
真希望好天气… I hope the weather...
…能持续下去 ...stays this mild.
要是天天都能这样… If the weather continues...
…那将是多么美好的一个夏天啊 ...we are in for a lovely summer.
我们安全了 The area is secure.
- 你没事吧？ - 当然没事 - Are you all right? - Well, of course I'm all right.
看，那是什么？ And what is that?
- 哪里？ - 没什么 - What? - Nothing.
你可能需要从这些档案开始… You should probably start by looking at these files. You have to...
我的腿！撞到我的腿啦！ My leg, it crushed my leg!
作为探长，你需要一些新衣服 Being an inspector, you'll need some new clothes.
我来给你量量尺寸，稍后就把衣服送来 I can take your measurements and have something sent over.
- 好的 - 请脱下外套 - Of course. - Please remove your jacket.
好的 Yes.
- 你一个人住吗，探长先生？ - 是的 - Do you live by yourself, inspector? - Yes, I do.
你觉得孤独吗？ Do you get lonely?
自从有了互联网，就好多了 No, not really. Not since the Internet.
那玩意儿的确挺有用的… 欢迎来到巴黎！ Well, that takes care of that. And welcome to Paris.
谢谢你 Thank you.
早上好，先生 Good morning, monsieur.
你是？ And you are?
吉尔伯特·庞顿，二级侦探 Gilbert Ponton. Detective, second class.
我被派来协助你工作 I've been assigned to work with you.
你有何资格，能从事警察工作？ What qualifications do you have for police work?
我们家族9代人 都在巴黎从事警察工作 My family's done police work in Paris for nine generations.
- 再往前呢？ - 在郊区从事警察工作长达200年 - And before that? - We were policemen in the surrounding areas for 200 years.
- 再往前呢？ - 从欧洲各国来的移民… - And before that? - Immigrants from various countries in Europe.
- 全部从事警察相关工作 - 再往前呢？ - All involved in police work. - And before that?
农民 Farmers.
这么说来，在我克劳索这儿 你还有很多东西需要学习 So you are a little lamb who has come to Clouseau for to learn.
吉尔伯特·庞顿，我保证 会把我从警的经验，统统传授与你 Gilbert Ponton, I vow to teach you everything I know about police work.
我们俩一起… And together...
要去缉拿一个凶手！ ...we are going to catch a killer.
这里 There.
中国的贵宾席，就在案发现场的旁边 The Chinese VIP box, right on the edge of the kill zone.
而毒药经鉴定，来自中国 格鲁昂特去过中国吗？ The poison was Chinese. Was Gluant ever in China?
3年前，他曾带领法国明星队… Three years ago, he took a group of French stars there...
去中国打过邀请赛 ...for some exhibition games.
格鲁昂特去过中国… Gluant was in China...
而毒药来自中国… ...the poison is from China...
…中国人也来自中国 ...the Chinese are from China.
现在下定论也许为时尚早 不过我认为凶手是中国人 It may be too early to say for certain, but I think our killer is Chinese.
科贝，你搭最近的航班去北京 Corbeille, I want you on the next flight to Beijing.
查出格鲁昂特做过什么事 见过什么人，去过什么地方 Find out what Gluant did there, who he saw, where he went.
帕科特，我要一份中国贵宾席的名单 Pacquette, I want a dossier on every Chinaman in that box.
现在就行动 Go, go, go, go, go.
探长先生，已经很晚了… Inspector, it's awfully late and...
噢，我正在检查命案现场的照片 Oh, I'm just going over these crime-scene photos.
- 你不休息吗？ - 尼可，犯罪可从不休息 - Don't you need some rest? - Crime does not rest, Nicole.
这倒是 It's true.
你看… You see...
…为了证明自己，我等了很长时间 ...I have waited a long time to prove myself.
现在有这个千载难逢的好机会 And I've been given the opportunity of a lifetime.
我将向全世界… And I intend to show the world exactly who I am...
…展现我的实力 决不能失败 ...and what I can do. I must not fail.
你不会失败的 You won't. I know it.
谢谢你，尼可 Thank you, Nicole.
- 尼可？ - 什么？ - Nicole? - Yes?
我能说句实话吗？ May I be very frank with you?
当然 Of course.
你最近胖了不少 You have put on a ton of weight.
每次长胖的时候，我就… Now, what I do when I get a little heavy...
当我没说 Never mind.
你需要我留下来帮你么？ Would you like me to stay behind and help you?
尼可，你的好意我心领了 That is a generous offer, Nicole...
…不过我对办公室的男女关系很敏感 ...but I am quite sensitive to office gender politics.
当今世界，哪怕是一个手势 And in today's world, the slightest gesture...
也会被曲解成性侵犯 ...can be misinterpreted as harassment.
现在很晚了，我不想让我俩… And it is late, and I would prefer not to put you or me...
…陷入那样的尴尬中 ...into that delicate situation.
你说呢？ Agreed?
我明白 Yes, I agree.
好了，让我们就亲个嘴 然后我继续工作 Well, let's seal it with a kiss. And I'll get back to work.
恕我直言 I am going to be frank.
作为一个二级侦探… Since you are only a detective, second class...
你的反应也许不如我快 ...your senses may not be as sharp as my own.
而我又不想被搭档拖后腿 And as I do not want a partner who makes me duller...
我有个计划，提高你的警惕性 ...I have come up with a plan to keep you as sharp as possible.
什么计划？ And what is that?
随时随地，只要你不注意的时候 Intermittently, and without warning, I will attack you...
我会不定时、没有预警地攻击你 ...whenever and wherever it is least expected.
这样来保持你的警惕，如何？ In this way, I will keep you vigilant and alert. Agreed?
好的 Yes.
- 好身手 - 过奖了 - Good one. - Thank you.
就是这儿了 Here we are.
“灯闪烁时请勿打扰” "Do not open door when light is flashing."
借过 Excuse me.
借过，谢谢 Coming through. Thank you.
我想了解一下…是的 And I'm wondering if you... Yes.
请问你是不是看见过有人大叫… I'm wondering if you saw, perhaps, a person yelling.
停！停！停！ Stop! Stop, stop!
你是谁？来这儿捣什么乱？ Who are you, and what the hell are you doing?
- 我正在进行审问 - 录音间是闭音的 - I'm in the middle of an interrogation. - First, the booth is soundproof.
她根本听不见你说话 顺便提醒一句… She can't hear a word. And in case you haven't noticed...
你干扰了我录音，现在给我滚出去！ ...you ruined my recording session. Now, get out.
要是不想因阻碍执法被起诉… Unless you want to be charged with obstruction of justice...
就乖乖地让我问完仙妮娅 ...you will let me interrogate Xania.
没事，罗兰 你好，探长先生 It's all right, Roland. Hello, inspector.
我是仙妮娅 I'm Xania.
你也许不知道 对你这行我其实挺熟悉的 You do not know this, but I am intimately familiar with your work.
您真客气 You are very kind.
你说那录音间是闭音的？ Did you say that booth was soundproof?
是的 Yes.
呃…格鲁昂特死的时候 你是否在现场？ Now, you were nearby when Gluant was killed?
是的，我们队获胜 我就跑去他身边 Yes, I ran out to be with him after the team won.
的确如此 Of course you did.
不过，就在谋杀发生几小时前 Now, a few hours before the murder...
有6个目击者称 看见你攻击死者，并大喊大叫 ...six witnesses saw you repeatedly striking the deceased and screaming...
怎样叫的，庞顿？ What was it, Ponton?
“我要杀了你，我要杀了你” "I am going to kill you. I am going to kill you."
我当时很生气 因为抓到他和别的女人在一起 I was angry. I caught him with another woman.
而且是在他说爱我以后 And this was after he said he loved me.
你这个可怜的天使… You poor little angel waif.
他骗了我… After he cheated on me...
…我才会恨他 ...I hated him.
- 不过我没有杀他 - 你当然没有 - But I didn't kill him. - Of course you didn't.
- 你最近曾到中国演出… - 别再吓唬她了！ - You recently performed in China... - Stop browbeating her!
没看见她这么性感吗？ Can't you see she's sexy?
是3个月前在上海 Three months ago in Shanghai.
你知不知道，还有谁和格鲁昂特有仇？ Can you think of anyone else who might have hated Gluant?
- 毕祖 - 那个球星？ - Bizu. - The football star?
我在遇到格鲁昂特前 和毕祖在一起 I was dating Bizu when I met Gluant.
他认为格鲁昂特不怀好意 偷走了我的心 He thought Gluant was a bad guy for stealing me away.
- 要我说，其实他们两个… - 你！不许离开这里 - Lf you ask me, they were both... - You, don't leave town.
可我得去蒙特拉特岛 给雷·杜沙录音… But I'm flying to Montserrat to record Rene Duchanel...
你哪也不去，我有问题要问你 You will not leave town. I may want to ask you a few more questions.
可我什么都不知道啊 But I don't know anything.
对于生命和爱情，你是一无所知 你这个小滑头 About life, about love. Yes, you little wet puppy.
不过关于这个案子 你能告诉我很多东西 But about the crime you may know a lot.
探长 Inspector.
我也得待在城里吗？ Do I have to stay in town?
因为下周，我… Because next week I have something...
得去纽约办点事 ...vague to do in New York.
哦…你当然可以办事 Well, if you absolutely have to do something vague...
不用客气，请自便 ...feel free to go where you wish.
我找不到毕祖 不过能带你去见范科尔先生 I can't take you to Bizu, but I can take you to Monsieur Vainqueur...
助理教练 ...the team's assistant coach.
现在该叫主教练了 Well, I guess he's the head coach now.
- 你要见我？ - 你是范科尔？ - You wanted to see me? - You are Vainqueur?
是的，你是？ Yes. And who are you?
克劳索探长，你也许听过我大名 I am Inspector Clouseau. Perhaps you have heard of me.
没有 No.
这个不用记 Don't write that down.
- 你要做什么？ - 听说毕祖和格鲁昂特有过节？ - What do you want? - I am told that Bizu hated Gluant.
很多人和格鲁昂特都有过节 A lot of people hated Gluant.
你呢？ Did you?
整整6年，我每天都得忍受 他的无理谩骂 I spent six years under his thumb being verbally abused every day.
是的，我不喜欢格鲁昂特 Yes, I was not a fan of Yves Gluant.
现在他死了… And now he is dead...
而你却取代了他的位置 ...and you have his job.
真讽刺啊 Ironic.
死亡并不都是悲剧 Not every death is a tragedy.
- 那… - 嘘…脚步声 - And what was the...? - Footsteps.
一个年轻女子… It's a young woman...
…30到35岁之间… ...30 to 35 years old...
…5尺2到5尺4高，浅黑色皮肤 ...5'2", 5'4", brunette.
穿着高跟鞋 And she is wearing high heels.
穿着稍显正式了点 Perhaps a bit too formal for the afternoon.
还喷了… And she has on...
（著名香水） Chanel N'5 ...Chanel N?.
- 有人跟你一起？ - 没有 - Is anyone with you? - No.
你在包里藏了一双高跟鞋？ Do you have a pair of high heels in that bag?
- 没有 - 一双小舞鞋都没有？ - No. - Not even a small pair of pumps?
- 没有 - 你是谁？ - No. - Who are you?
尤里，陪练 I am Yuri, the trainer.
尤里·培连先生，你在这里做什么 （克劳索听成了“培连”，以为是人名） And what is it you do here, Yuri the trainer?
陪练 I train.
这么说你就是搞陪练的 尤里·培连？ So you are Yuri the trainer who trains.
不许离开欧洲！ Do not leave Europe.
可我得去亚洲 But I have to go to Asia.
好吧 Okay.
不许离开欧洲或亚洲！ Do not leave Europe or Asia.
可我们要到巴西踢场球 We have one match in Brazil.
好吧 All right.
不许离开欧洲、亚洲或者美洲！ Do not leave Europe, Asia or the Americas.
- 好吧 - 我们的球星在哪里？ - Okay. - Where is this famous soccer player?
他在外面训练场 He is outside on the practice field.
好的，我们要见见毕祖先生 Well, we shall see about Mr. Bizu.
我把毕祖带进审讯室了 I've got Bizu in the interrogation room.
有什么计划？ What's the plan?
软硬兼施 I'm going to give him the good-cop/bad-cop routine.
你是球员毕祖？ You are the soccer player known as Bizu?
- 是的 - 你知道格鲁昂特的事？ - Yes. - You were acquainted with Gluant?
- 我很高兴他回老家了 - 他没有回老家 - I'm glad he's pushing up daisies. - He is not pushing up daisies.
他死了 He is dead.
这不过是俗话 It's an idiom.
你这个俗人！ You, sir, are the idiom.
要是不想在监狱里度过余生… Now, unless you want to spend the rest of your life in prison...
就乖乖回答这个问题： 你有没有杀人？ ...you will answer the next question. Did you kill him?
我很想杀了他 I would have loved to have killed him.
可惜有人运气好，先下了手 But some lucky bastard beat me to it.
你让我感到恶心 You disgust me.
我马上就回来 I'll be right back.
香烟？ Cigarette?
不用 No.
谢谢 Thanks.
好习惯 Good for you.
毕祖… Bizu...
我知道你没有杀人 ...I know you didn't do it.
是别人做的，然后陷害你 Someone else did, and they are trying to set you up.
你会帮我吗？ You'll help me?
当然会 Of course I'll help you.
那你认为是谁下的毒手？ Now, do you have any idea who might have done this terrible thing?
和他合伙开饭店的，拉洛克 His partner in those stupid restaurants, Larocque.
赌场老板，雷蒙德·拉洛克 Raymond Larocque, the casino owner.
格鲁昂特可能从饭店私自提钱去赌博 Gluant would steal money from the restaurants and use it to gamble.
拉洛克受够了… My guess is Larocque got fed up...
就把他做掉了 ...and had him killed.
毕祖，我欣赏你 Bizu, I like you.
我会帮你的 I'm going to help you.
我们一定会合作愉快的 You and I are going to make a great team.
我的“软硬兼施大法”颇有成效 The good-coplbad-cop routine is working perfectly.
这个…好像一般是两个人审问 You know, usually two different cops do that.
知不知道我们怎么对付 不听话的囚犯？ You know what we do to prisoners who don't cooperate?
我们会把他们接上这个盒子 We hook them up to the box.
这盒子做什么的？ What is the box?
蠢货！就像这样，把这头… Idiot. Like this, I take one electrode...
…接到这里 ...I put it here.
把这头… I take the other one...
…接到这里… ...I put it...
你有何高见？ So, what do you think?
毕祖是无辜的 Bizu is innocent.
何以见得？ How can you say that?
格鲁昂特让毕祖坐冷板凳 还抢了他女朋友 Gluant suspended Bizu. He stole his girlfriend.
换作是我，也会趁机杀掉他 If it were me, I would have killed him then and there.
而毕祖正是这样做的 That's exactly what Bizu did.
庞顿… Ponton...
…破案就像开锁游戏 ...a crime is like a jigsaw puzzle.
你有了钥匙，还得找到锁 You have to have the jig and you have to have the saw.
现在你有了钥匙 却没有锁 You have the jig, but no saw.
你的锁哪去了？ Where is your saw?
哦，尊敬的首长 我破案了，就凭着把没用的钥匙 "Oh, Your Honor, I want to present a case, but all I have is a jig.
这样就可以了？ Is that okay?"
你说什么？ What?
没说什么 Nothing.
我以为你说… I thought you said:
没有 No.
奇怪 Strange.
噢，是你 Oh, it's you.
希望你不介意 我用备用钥匙进来了 I hope you don't mind I let myself in with the spare key.
- 哦，不介意 - 你看 - Oh, no, no. - And, look.
我从裁缝那儿 给你把裤子取回来了 I got your pants back from the tailor.
- 还有一条备用的 - 很好 - Plus a spare. - Good.
- 喝水么？ - 谢谢 - Would you like some water? - Yes, please.
尼可，办这个案子 可让我使尽了浑身解数 You know, Nicole, this crime is forcing me to use all my knowledge.
我这辈子的办案经验都用上了 Everything I have learned in a lifetime of investigating is coming into play.
介意我吃这个吗？ 我还没吃饭呢 Do you mind if I have these? I haven't eaten.
不必客气，请便 Oh, please, go ahead.
甚至很多都是从没意识到的东西 Things are appearing in my mind that I did not even realize was there.
而且… And yet the in...
噢，海氏急救法！ （海姆尼克急救法，对付异物卡喉用） Oh, my God. The Heimlich! The Heimlich!
感觉好些了？ Are you feeling better?
是的，太感谢了 你真是个行家 Yes, thank you. You are so good at it.
在哪学的这招？ Where did you learn that?
我曾在人体模特、枕头上反复练习 I used to practice on mannequins, pillows...
不过坦白说，是你脸上的表情… ...but frankly, it was the expression on your face...
告诉我你需要这个 ...that told me that you needed it.
庞顿，有什么事吗？ Now, Ponton, what do you have for me?
看来你没错，刚发现毕祖遇害了 It seems you were right about Bizu. He was just found dead...
死在更衣室里 ...in the training facility locker room.
- 头部中枪 - 致命吗？ - Shot in the head. - Was it fatal?
- 是的 - 有多致命？ - Yes. - How fatal?
完全致命 Completely.
我要马上找他谈谈 I want to talk to him now.
他已经死了 He's dead.
你，站住 You there. Halt.
你是搞陪练的 尤里·培连 You are Yuri the trainer who trains.
对，是我 Yeah, that's right.
我在找一具尸体 你知不知道在什么地方？ I am looking for a dead body. Perhaps you can tell me where it is.
是的，听说是在更衣室 Oh, yeah. I heard it was in the locker room.
走廊走到头，右拐 然后左拐两次就到了 You go down the hall, make a right and two lefts.
很可笑吗？ You are finding something amusing here?
说实话… I'll be honest with you. L...
我觉得你的口音很滑稽 I find your accent quite funny.
- 你是哪儿人？ - 俄国人 - Where are you from? - From Russia.
格鲁昂特从俄罗斯军营 的球队里把我招进来 Gluant recruited me from the Russian military gym.
你得改改你那口音了 You need to work on your accent.
- 什么？ - 什么？ - What? - What?
- 什么什么？ - 什么 - What? What? - What?
- 什么？ - 我没心思跟你玩这个 - What? - I don't have time for this.
还有桩谋杀案等着我 I have to solve a murder.
有劳你，告诉我事情的经过 Please, tell me what you saw.
我什么都没看见 Well, I didn't see anything.
当时我只是经过更衣室 I was passing by the locker room.
很晚了，一般不会有人在那儿 It was late, past time anyone should be there.
我听到里面门有动静 I heard movement on the other side of the locker-room door.
听到毕祖说… I heard Bizu say:
“噢，是你” "Oh, it's you."
然后就是一声枪响… And then there was gunfire.
庞顿，搜索数据库 Ponton, go to your databases.
我要审问巴黎所有名字中有“你”的人 I want to interrogate every person in Paris with the name "You."
还有… And, Ponton...
你难道不觉蹊跷吗？ ...don't you find it a bit of a coincidence...
尸体刚好倒在这个白线内 ...that the body fell perfectly within the chalk outline on the floor?
我想那线是他们事后画的 I think they drew the chalk outline later.
看来我们正在和一个高手打交道 We are dealing with some kind of mastermind.
庞顿，我要讯问雷蒙德·拉洛克 Ponton, I want to interrogate this man Raymond Larocque.
他的赌场在哪？ Where is his casino?
就近停车，不然有你好看的 Park it close by. Unless you want to know what else is good for you.
你总能给我惊喜，探长 You continue to surprise me, inspector.
学着习惯吧，庞顿 跟我混，就得同惊喜打交道 Get used to it, Ponton. With me, surprises are rarely unexpected.
今天天气不错，但愿天天如此 Yes, the weather is nice today. Let's hope it continues.
庞顿，去找保安 Ponton, go find security.
说我要同雷蒙德·拉洛克谈谈 Tell them I want to converse with Mr. Raymond Larocque.
- 你不去？ - 有特殊情况 - You're not coming? - Something has come up.
要是天气能一直这样就好了 If the weather stays this mild, we are all in for a treat.
- 请下注 - 我也为国家效力 - Place your bets. - I am in law enforcement too.
我这么显眼吗？ Am I that obvious?
不，只是我极善于发现这个 No, it's just that I have an ear for such things.
这是你的莫吉托 （也称古巴鸡尾酒） Here is your mojito.
点上 - Flame it. - No more bets.
不错嘛 Impressive.
我会记住的 I will remember that.
我是探长雅克·克劳索 正在办个非常重要的案子 I am Inspector Jacques Clouseau. I am here on a very important case.
奈杰尔·博斯韦尔 特工006 Boswell. Nigel Boswell. Agent 006.
- 明白？ - 当然 - Know what that means? - Of course I do.
你只比某著名间谍低一位 （指007） You are one short of the big time.
和你一样，我也有要事在身 I, too, am on a very important case, inspector.
所以，不能有人知道我在这儿 So you understand what I mean when I say...
我想你明白我的意思 ...no one must know that I am here.
我刚把我的手机号码 塞进你衣兜里 I have just slipped my cell-phone number into your pocket.
需要帮忙时就打我手机 Call me if you need any help.
我会的，探长 I will, inspector.
莫奈的画，眼光不错嘛 拉洛克先生 ...Monet. Very impressive, Monsieur Larocque.
你也一样，克劳索探长 Very impressive, Inspector Clouseau.
请随意…有什么我可以效劳的吗？ Please make yourself at home. Now, how can I help you?
我在调查伊弗斯·格鲁昂特谋杀案 I am investigating the murder of Yves Gluant.
伊弗斯 Yves.
很有魅力的一个人 Fascinating man.
那粉红豹花了他多少钱？ Would you happen to know what he paid for the Pink Panther?
戒指是继承的，他一分钱都没花 He inherited it. It cost him nothing.
可那戒指要了他的命！ It cost him his life.
我想仔细看看你的“丸” （克劳索将“碗”发成了“丸”） I would like to take a closer look at your bowls.
- 我的什么？ - 你的“丸” - My what? - Your bowls.
我想仔细看看… I would like to take a closer look...
你的大铜“丸” ...at your big brass bowls.
- 好吧 - 谢谢 - Okay. - Thank you.
汉代的文物 Han Dynasty.
- 十分罕见，精美绝伦 - 看来你在古玩方面颇有研究 - Very rare. Beautiful. - I see you have an eye for antiques.
这里有的是真品，其他的是赝品 Some here are real and some are copies.
相信你一眼就能看出来 I'm sure you can tell which are which.
公元前2世纪的，十分珍贵 Second century. Very rare.
鉴赏古董花瓶，应该从里面拿起来 One should always handle an antique vase from the inside.
不然手上的油污会破坏花瓶的光泽 Otherwise the oil from the hands can damage the patina.
纯雪花石膏 Pure alabaster.
很漂亮 Lovely.
怪了，我就这样，然后… That's odd. What I did, I went like this, and then...
真奇怪 This is weird.
那你为何给格鲁昂特办了人身保险 Why did you take out a life-insurance policy on Gluant?
没抓到杀人犯 保险公司是不会赔钱的 The insurance company won't pay unless the murderer is caught.
要是查出来是我… And if it turns out to be me...
更不会赔我钱了，你懂吗？ ...they won't pay at all. Do you understand?
可你总能捞到油水，是不是？ But you stood to gain from Gluant's death, didn't you?
油水？什么油水？ Gain? What would I gain?
饭店产业里格鲁昂特的股份 Gluant's share of the restaurants.
那些饭店简直就是灾难 Oh, the restaurants were a disaster.
格鲁昂特花钱的速度 比我赚钱还要快 Gluant was siphoning money out faster than it came in.
唯一值得慰藉的是 他都在我的赌场输钱 My only consolation was he'd lose the money gambling in my casino.
不过后来他输得越来越多 But after a while his losses became so ridiculous...
他答应用戒指作为担保 ...he promised me his ring as collateral.
不过有人在格鲁昂特 被杀前一晚 But someone had words with Gluant...
找他谈过话 ...the night before he was killed.
- 不是你？ - 不是 - Didrt you? - No.
你没有威胁要打断他的腿 把他打成肉酱？ You didn't threaten to break his legs and then crush him into powder?
没有 No.
也许是我在电视上看到的 Perhaps I saw that on TV.
[ 不要将手伸入花瓶，以免卡住 ] BAWARE, EASY TO GET HAND CAUGHT IN VASES
我想这牌子 该放在更合适的地方 Well, I can certainly think of a better place for this.
噢，是我的个性化铃声 That's my personalized cell-phone tone ring.
喂？ Hello?
是，我是探长… Yes, this is Inspector...
没问题，在餐厅？ Yes, I could meet you. In the restaurant?
好的，马上就到 Yes, of course. Right away.
抱歉各位，恕我失陪 我有要事在身 Gentlemen, something has come up. Please excuse me.
- 拉洛克先生？ - 什么？ - Monsieur Larocque. - Yes.
这花瓶很值钱吗？ Is this vase of great value?
不过是个不值钱的仿制品 It is a won'thless imitation.
很好 Good.
可这个桌子… But that desk was...
…是无价之宝 ...priceless.
- 克劳索 - 哦 - Clouseau. - Oh, yes.
我需要你的帮助 请保持镇定… I need your help. Now, it's very important that you remain calm...
- 不要转身 - 保持镇定，不要转身 ...and you do not turn around. - Remain calm. Do not turn around.
在你身后的是“毒气大盗” Behind you in the casino are the Gas Mask Bandits.
我的天！毒气大盗！ Oh, my God! The Gas Mask Bandits!
- 全欧洲都在通缉他们 - 我能做什么？ - All Europe is looking for them. - How can I help?
- 给我你的大衣 -好的，为什么？ - Just give me your coat. - Yes, of course. Why?
我不能在这里暴露身份 I'm not supposed to be here.
但我不能让强盗逃脱 But I can't let the Gas Mask Bandits escape.
- 穿上它 - 好的，可为什么？ - Put it on. - Yes. Yes, of course. But why?
我不能暴露身份，记得吗？ I'm not supposed to be here, remember?
探长 Inspector.
我的老天，太精彩了！ My God, man, that was fantastic.
总探长，是克劳索的主意 设计抓捕“毒气大盗”吗？ Inspector, was Clouseau's plan to set a trap for the Gas Mask Bandits?
克劳索认为那些强盗 和粉红豹有关吗？ Does Clouseau think the Bandits are connected to the Pink Panther?
克劳索会得到晋升吗？ Is Clouseau going to be promoted, sir?
案件调查期间，我无可奉告 I cannot comment on ongoing investigations.
开车 Drive.
探长？ Inspector?
克劳索？ Clouseau?
好身手 Good one.
过奖 Thank you.
找我有什么事？ Now, what do you have for me?
我们找到了全巴黎… We have rounded up all the people in Paris...
- 所有名字里面有“你”的人 - 终于有进展了 ...with the name "You." - Finally, we are getting somewhere.
复述一遍 Read that back.
你可以走了 You may go.
你懂中文？ You speak Chinese?
你以为我不会说中文？ What, you don't think I speak Chinese?
我要是不会说中文 我们在这儿干嘛？ If I don't speak Chinese, what are we doing here?
坐在饮水机旁很有趣？ That must be funny around the water cooler.
噢，克劳索探长不会说中文 "Oh, Inspector Clouseau does not speak Chinese.
让我们一起去吃饭 然后大家都说中文 Let's take him out for lunch. We will all speak Chinese.
这样他就听不懂我们说什么了 He won't know what we are talking about."
这就是你们的小把戏？ 很好玩是吧？ Is that what you like to do? Is that funny?
我当然懂中文 Of course I speak Chinese.
克劳索？ Clouseau?
你好啊，尼可 Bonjour, Nicole.
等会能到我办公室来一下吗？ Could I see you in my office in a few minutes?
我马上就来，探长先生 I'll be right with you, inspector.
什么事，探长先生？ Yes, inspector?
尼可 Nicole.
今天天气不错 The weather has been so pleasant.
你看好天气会不会持续下去 I was wondering if you think it's going to stay this mild.
我想会吧 I certainly hope so.
难道你不觉得… But do you think the weather...
…要变天了吗？ ...is going to change?
让我们祈祷… Let's keep our fingers crossed...
…好天气能继续 ...that it stays this mild.
抓到你了！ And here's another one for you!
让我们看看是谁 Now let's see who you are.
啊…“总探长德雷福斯” It is "Inspector Dreyfus."
罪犯显然戴着人皮面具 The intruder is obviously wearing a flesh mask.
看我给它揭下来！ But that will come off.
我的脸！ My face!
在发际那里说不定能找到缝隙 Maybe there is a seam under your hairline.
让我把你翻个身 I'll just turn you around.
好些了吗？我很抱歉，总探长 Are you feeling any better? I am so sorry, inspector.
过去的就过去了吧 Let's just forget it.
我是顺便来给你汇报下案子的进度 I thought I would stop by and let you know how we are doing on the case.
我还是… Oh, I'll just...
- 坐这儿听好了 - 没问题 ...stay back here. - Yes, of course.
我看见你有这种可收的教鞭 I see you have one of these collapsible pointers.
这真的很有用 So very useful.
直接用手指实在太不体面 It is so degrading to have to point with your finger...
用那些长长的木棍也是… ...or one of those long wooden sticks...
…看起来就像个没开化的原始人 ...like you are some sort of primitive oaf.
还好你有这个，只需潇洒一甩 就可以随心所欲地使用了 But you have one of these, you just snap it open and you are ready to go.
案子，谈案子，克劳索 The case. The case, Clouseau.
哦，案子 Yes, the case.
现在进展十分顺利 我已经有一份嫌疑人名单了 The case is going quite well. I have prepared a list of suspects.
有多少嫌疑人？ And how many suspects do you have?
27683个 Twenty-seven thousand six hundred eighty-three.
哦…看来破案只是时间问题了？ It's just a matter of time now, isn't it?
- 排除了什么嫌疑人么？ - 有的 - Have you eliminated any suspects? - Yes.
排除了一个 One.
一个，那是谁呢？ One. And who would that be?
格鲁昂特 Gluant.
格鲁昂特就是被害者 Gluant is the victim.
完全正确，总探长 Excellent, inspector.
英雄所见略同啊 We think alike.
线索总是一环扣一环 One clue leading inexorably to the next.
别管它了 Just leave it.
我向您保证，总探长 I assure you, inspector...
我很快就会将凶手缉拿归案 就像瓮中捉… ...I will soon have your criminal cornered like a...
捉…捉…捉… Like a... Like... Like a... Like...
反正就是瓮中捉的那…玩意 Like something... Something that you... You corner.
- 说得好 - 我知道你口才很好 - Well put. - I see you enjoy wordplay.
什么时候我们一起吃个饭… We will have to have lunch one day...
顺便来切磋一下 ...and engage in a little verbal jousting.
我相信你定是个“能言善辩”的人 I'm sure you're quite the raconteur.
当然 Yes.
那就改天约个时间 So I will call you for lunch.
本委员会只有一项日程 There's only one item on the agenda of this committee:
决定谁获得国家最高奖章… To approve the list of nominees for our natiors highest award...
…荣誉勋章 ...the Medal of Honor.
我们的候选者是… The two nominees are...
查尔斯·德雷福斯 ...Charles Dreyfus...
哦 No.
以及修女玛丽·俞格特 ...and Sister Marie-Hugette...
她给与孤儿们无私的关怀 ...whose selfless concern for our natiors orphans...
是我们的榜样 ...is an inspiration to us all.
我想再提名一个人选 供委员会参考 I would like to add one more name for the committee's consideration.
探长雅克·克劳索 一个来自小镇的警察 Inspector Jacques Clouseau, the man who came here from a small village...
现被任命调查 伊弗斯·格鲁昂特命案 ...to investigate the murder of Yves Gluant...
昨夜又将毒气面具大盗一网打尽 ...who just last night captured the notorious Gas Mask Bandits.
很好的提议 Yes. Interesting idea.
- 是广大人民的代表 - 说得好 - An average Frenchman. - Exactly.
绝佳的提议 Excellent idea.
一致同意？ All in favor?
克劳索去了赌场 怎么没有通知我？ How is it I was not informed of Clouseau's going to that casino?
- 那时候已经半夜了 - 哦，半夜 - It was the middle of the night. - Oh, it was the middle of the night.
怎么…你还担心吵醒我？ What, you did not want to wake me?
克劳索的一举一动… I want to know of Clouseau's whereabouts...
随时随地都要汇报给我！ ...every hour, 24 hours a day.
漏掉一点点，就把你踢出警局！ You miss one call, and I will have you kicked off the force.
- 明白？ - 遵命，先生 - Do you understand? - Yes, sir.
你现在怎么没有和他在一起？ Why are you not with him now?
- 因为我在这里 - 滚！ - I'm here. - Get out.
- 克劳索 - 庞顿 - Clouseau. - Ponton.
今天就到这儿吧，我太累了 Let's call it a day. I am tired.
我只想了解一下你的进展情况 I just wanted to see where you are with the investigation.
好主意，庞顿 让潜意识发挥作用 Good idea, Ponton. To let the subconscious mind...
利用睡觉的时间来破案 现在的情况是什么？ ...work on the case while we sleep. Now then, what are the facts?
伊弗斯·格鲁昂特… Yves Gluant was found...
在国际大赛的半决赛上 ...at the international championship semifinal...
- 被毒镖毒死 - 罪案！ ...with a poison dart in his neck. - The crime!
毕祖想杀他，可毕祖也死了 Bizu wanted to kill him, but is now himself dead.
新的罪案！ A complication!
格鲁昂特从拉洛克那里… Gluant was siphoning off money...
- 偷钱赌博 - 动机！ ...from Larocque. - A motive!
在尸体旁边，是那个歌星仙妮娅 And close to the body was the singer, Xania.
仙妮娅不是凶手 Xania is not the killer.
不过我猜她知道的隐情 远多过她说的那些 But I suspect she knows more than she is telling me.
- 她现在哪里？ - 匆匆赶往纽约了 - Where is she now? - She left suddenly for New York.
我们得跟过去，看她到底赶什么“场” We are going to have to follow her and find out what she is up to.
既然去美国… And if I am going to America...
我就得说一口标准的美式英语 ...I am going to have to speak with a flawless American accent...
以免引起别人怀疑 ...so as not to arouse suspicion.
给我找全世界最好的美语老师 So find me the greatest accent coach in the world.
我要买个汉堡包 I would like to buy a hamburger.
我要买个#%&% I would like to buy a hamburger.
我要买个汉堡包 I would like to buy a hamburger.
我要买个… I would like to buy...
…#%&% ...a hamburger.
不，不对 让我们分开来读 No, no, no. Let's break it down.
- 这没法练了 - 决不放弃！ - Maybe we should stop. - We don't quit.
绝对不放弃！再来！ We do not quit. Again! Again!
- 吃过汉堡包了？ - 当然没有 - Have you ever had a hamburger? - Well, of course not.
令人作呕的美国食品 It's a disgusting American food.
我从没见你和女人在一起 I never see you with women.
我结婚了 I'm married.
却不戴戒指 You don't wear a ring.
是为了保护她 To protect her.
怕那些坏人会恐吓她 I'm afraid some villain might threaten her.
是啊 Yes.
谈谈她吧 Tell me about her.
在我眼里，她是全世界最美的女人 I consider her the most beautiful woman in the world.
你呢？ What about yourself?
不，我不认为自己是个美女 No, I don't consider myself a beautiful woman.
我的意思是，你生命的另一半呢？ I mean, is there a woman in your life?
哦，还没有 Oh, no.
爱情还未曾光顾我的大门 Love has not yet come my way.
堂堂克劳索探长 怎能同一个普通的女人在一起 How could Inspector Clouseau be with a simple woman?
她只有十分出色才配得上我 She would have to be so extraordinary in order to keep up.
那是挺难的 It's hard.
- 什么？ - 你遇到意中人 - What is? - For you to meet someone.
是啊 Oh, yes.
明天有很重要的任务 We have a big day tomorrow.
我们得去仙妮娅的饭店 查清她在做什么 We will go to Xania's hotel and find out what she is up to.
- 晚安，庞顿 - 晚安，克劳索 - Good night, Ponton. - Good night, Clouseau.
- 好身手 - 过奖了 - Good one. - Thank you.
我拿到她的通话记录了 I got her hotel phone records.
仙妮娅打了两个电话… Xania made two phone calls...
给一个臭名昭著的 专门替黑市切割钻石的人 ...to a notorious black-market diamond cutter.
是她！报纸！ There she is! Newspapers!
报纸！ Newspapers!
12楼 Floor 12.
我有不祥的预感 I smell something fishy.
请问有和贵干？ May I help you?
合作愉快 Good teamwork.
无论在做什么，给我住手！ 抓你个毫无防备！ Stop! Stop whatever it is you are doing! You are defenseless!
你们的手下已经被我们解决了 We have already taken care of your thugs patrolling the building.
我没有什么手下 I don't have any thugs.
你没有？ You don't?
庞顿，看来我们得向那些人道个歉 Ponton, I think we owe those men an apology.
你在切割什么？ And what is it you are cutting?
很明显了，粉红钻石 Pink diamond. Clear.
- 很明显？ - 这不是粉红豹 - Clear? - It's not the Pink Panther.
那你在这里鬼鬼祟祟的是做什么？ And what are you doing here sneaking around?
这是约瑟芬·贝克用过的钱包 （约瑟芬·贝克，著名法国歌星） This purse once belonged to Josephine Baker.
可惜都快散架了 我就拿来镶上钻石 It was falling apart, so I had it studded with diamonds...
好在总统府的舞会的演出上 能带上台 ...to wear on-stage at the Presidential Ball.
那你为什么不直接告诉我呢？ Well, why did you just not tell me why you were coming?
在那件事发生以后 I can't be seen at a diamond cutter.
我本不该找人切割钻石 Not after what happened.
这说不定是你的哪个“神秘客户” That may be one of your mysterious clients now.
喂？ Hello?
是的，电话账单我负责 Yes, I am the person in charge of the phone bill.
我对现在的服务还算满意 Well, I'm somewhat happy with my service.
这么长的年通话时间？ Twelve months with that many minutes?
还有每月的免费通话时间？ Plus free minutes per month?
好的，我要注册 雅克·克劳索 Yes, sign me up. Yes, Jacques Clouseau...
信用卡卡号… ...credit card number:
好的，我的邮箱地址是 Yes? Yes, you may have my e-mail address.
（DoctorKnockers，情场圣手） DoctorKnockers@aol.com DoctorKnockers@aol.com.
我刚谈了笔好买卖 Well, I think I just got myself a pretty good deal.
- 什么时候走呢？ - 明天就走 - When are you leaving the city? - I'm leaving tomorrow. Yeah.
看来我得勾引她，好套出一些信息 I may have to seduce her, Ponton, in order to get her to talk.
- 工作需要 - 套什么信息？ - Part of the job. - Talk about what?
查处明天她的飞机什么时候起飞 I want to find out what time her plane is leaving in the morning.
- 直接问不就行了？ - 太唐突了 - Why not just ask her? - Too obvious.
到时候我会想办法套她的话 I may have to pump her for information.
- 明白 - 探长… - I see. - Inspector...
在沃尔多夫酒店共进晚餐怎么样？ ...would you like to join me for dinner at the Waldorf?
当然可以，小姐 Certainly, mademoiselle.
那就8点？ Say, 8:00?
8点 Eight o'clock.
要不就…在二楼我的房间？ Say, I don't know, my room on the second floor?
“要不就…在二楼我的房间？” "I don't know, my room on the second floor."
到时候见了 I'll see you then.
可能有诈 It might be a trap.
管它的 Who cares?
欢迎，探长先生 Welcome to my room, inspector.
今天天气不错 It is lovely weather we are having.
哦，亲爱的，哦… Oh, yes, baby. Oh, yes.
到底为什么？ Why?
什么为什么？ Why what?
今天如此反常的举动 Why were you being so elusive today?
我很怕拉洛克 I was afraid of Larocque.
- 我说不定被他跟踪了 - 拉洛克？那个赌场老板？ - He might be following me. - Larocque? The casino owner?
他放出话，无论谁拿了粉红豹… He sent out word threatening to kill anyone...
他定会置之于死地 ...in possession of the Pink Panther.
他认为那钻石是属于他的 He believes it belongs to him.
那他跟踪你干什么？ But why would he follow you?
我来纽约找人切割钻石 I was in New York to see a diamond cutter.
说不定会让他误以为… He might draw the wrong conclusion.
你看… You know...
在你的私人套房里 ...a man sitting here in your private suite...
和一个男人面对面… ...so close to you...
说不定也会引起别人误解 ...might draw the wrong conclusion too.
说不定不是误解呢 Or the right one.
我久闻你的大名了，探长先生 I've heard things about you, inspector.
什么大名？ What sort of things?
据说你很懂女人 That you really know how to treat a woman.
啊，当然 Yes. Yes.
好戏开始了 Let the games begin.
容我离开一会儿 Let me just slip away.
耶！ Yes!
不！不！不！ No! No, no! No, no!
中年男人的福音… My miracle pill for the middle-aged man.
还给我 Give it back.
探长？ Inspector?
- 你在里面没事吧？ - 你自己准备好吧 - Are you all right in there? - I hope you're getting yourself ready.
探长先生，你真的没事？ Inspector? Are you sure you're okay in there?
我没事，不过在酝酿爱的情绪 Yes, I am. I'm fine. I'm just getting in the mood for love.
你好 Well, hello.
204房需要干净毛巾 We need fresh towels in 204.
别问为什么，去做就对了 Don't ask why, just do it.
已经告诉你航班好了 在JFK机场 You have the flight number. He leaves tomorrow out of JFK.
他很显眼的，一头银发 留着小胡子… He'll be easy to spot. He's got white hair, a thin mustache...
看上去很自信的样子 其实是迷路了 ...brimming with self-confidence and completely lost.
- 东西都带上了？ - 是的 - Did you get the stuff? - Yes.
很好 Good.
给我，飞机上的食品都是垃圾 Give it to me. Airline food is for suckers.
我要把这些带上，保持冷静 I will smuggle this on. Just act cool.
- 看！是仙妮娅！ - 大家好 - Hey, that's Xania! - Hello.
嗨！谢谢！ Hi. Yes, thank you.
我还是觉得她隐瞒了什么 I still think she is hiding something, Ponton.
隐瞒什么？ What?
我要是知道，还会说“隐瞒”？ If I knew what she was hiding, then it wouldn't be hidden, would it?
- 好了，谢谢你们 - 再拍一张！就一张！ - All right. Thank you. - One more! One more!
好了，下一位 Okay, let's go. Next.
没有什么需要声明的 Nothing to declare.
- 借过 - 2号口需要人工检查 - Come on through. - Hand check on two.
- 这是你的包？ - 是的 - This your bag, sir? - Yes, it is.
- 我需要检查一下 - 请便，里面没什么见不得人的… - We'll have to hand check it. - Go ahead. I have nothing to hide.
…东西 In my bag.
请随我来 Come with me, sir.
请留步 Wait here, pal.
一把没有威胁的随身小刀 It's a harmless pocketknife.
一把没有威胁的… 双节棍？！ It's a harmless pair of... Numchucks?
我…我压根没买钉头槌 不知道它从哪儿冒出来的 I don't... I don't even own a mace. I don't know where that came from.
这些东西…我见都没见过 I've never seen that stuff in my life.
金波！ Jimbo!
不需要叫金波吧… You don't need Jimbo.
- 金波，乖 - 你兜里藏着什么？ - Jimbo, stay. - What's in your pocket, sir?
- 没什么 - 先生，我再问一次 - Nothing. - Sir, I'll say again...
- 兜里有什么？ - 没什么 ...what's in your pocket? - Nothing.
我再问你一次 你衣兜里到底装了什么？ I'm gonna ask you again, what's in your pocket, sir?
好吧 All right.
我装了… I have, in my pocket...
几个“汉包包” ...a couple of "hambwon'tsforts."
什么东西？ What?
我装了… I have in my pocket...
几个#@$% ...a couple of "dolvargars."
什么？ Sir?
- 先生，你到底… - 好吧，我带了4个#$%$% - Sir, in your pocket you have...? - All right, I have four "hanolders."
抱歉，再说一次 I'm sorry. Once more.
说 Again!
- 什么… - 看，那是什么？ - Sir... - Hey, what's that?
- 先生，我耐心有限 - 是吗？ - Sir... Sir, I'm losing my patience. - Oh, you are?
- 你也没耐心了？ - 是的 - You are losing your patience? - Yes.
我说的很明白了 就是几个#%#%^ I'm simply telling you I have a couple of "tamburthers."
6号台有情况！ 6号台有情况！ I've got an End darter down on six. I've got an End darter down on six!
不许动！举起手来！ - Locked and loaded, sir! - Show me your hands, sir!
好了，让我给你看… All right, I'll just show you.
- 先生，你不能过去！ - 上！ - No, no, no! Stay here, sir. - Sic him, W!
[ 克劳索给法国蒙羞 ] Clouseau Brings Shame To France
[ 国家的耻辱 ] National Embarrassment!
[ 法国人被捕 ] French Guy Arrested
- 啊，他来了！ - 探长，什么是“蛋包堡”？ - Yes, that's him! - Inspector, what is a "damburgert"?
探长，给国家丢脸是什么感觉？ Inspector, how does it feel to have let down the nation?
克劳索探长的“英雄梦”算是做够了 So much for the heroic Inspector Clouseau.
今天，对于法国 真是个好日子 Well, this is a glorious day for France.
这话怎么说，总探长？ How so, chief inspector?
因为一个叫克劳索的笨蛋… Because a stupid idiot named Clouseau...
将卷铺盖走人 而我将接手他的案子 ...is going to be stripped of his rank while I take over his case.
还有人也叫克劳索？ You have a second man named Clouseau?
我的老天 留我们俩单独谈一会儿 My God. Leave us alone for a moment.
你、你…都出去 我有话… You, out. Go, go. Go. I must have a private word...
要对克劳索探长说 ...with Inspector Clouseau.
听好了，克劳索 Understand something, Clouseau.
让你当探长，不是因为… When I made you an inspector, it was not because I thought...
你有什么资格当侦探 ...you had any value as a detective.
而是因为你是全法国最蠢的警察 It was because I thought you were the stupidest policeman in all of France.
一个彻头彻尾的蠢货 A hopeless, deluded idiot.
这么说不是因为我的杰出表现了？ Then I was not promoted for my merits?
让你当探长，是因为我要找个人… I only made you inspector because I needed someone...
只会在那里原地打转 好让我有时间准备 ...who would quietly get nowhere until I was ready...
去亲自破案 ...to take over the case myself.
我只不过想抓住凶手 I was trying to catch a killer.
你只不过想… You were trying...
你不过想当英雄罢了 现在倒好，你丢了官衔… You were trying to become a hero. Well, you will be stripped...
…还被媒体奚落 ...of your rank, ridiculed by the media...
…你已经没有任何价值了 ...and I will be done with you.
前探长先生，恕我失陪 我要去准备… And now if you will excuse me, ex-inspector, I must go and prepare...
抓捕行动，赢得“荣誉勋章” ...for the arrest which will win me the Medal of Honor...
然后进军议会 然后…谁知道还有什么好事？ ...catapult me to the National Assembly, and after that, who knows?
- 再见，克劳索 - 要把他关起来吗？ - Goodbye, Clouseau. - Shall we lock him up?
看看吧 Look at him.
他彻底完蛋了 让他回他家躲着吧 He is finished. Let him go home to obscurity.
你都知道？ You knew?
庞顿… Ponton...
…事情不像我预想的那样 ...things were not as I supposed they were.
要是曾让你丢脸… And if I ever made you look foolish...
我很抱歉 ...I am sorry.
给您效力是我的荣幸，先生 It was an honor serving under you, sir.
好身手 Good one.
互联网 The Internet.
你好啊，老朋友 Hello, old friend.
“下载个性化铃声…” "To download your new cell-phone ringtone...
“…请按下载按钮” ...press the button that says 'download."'
用鼠标点击，不要拖拽 I take the mouse and I click, but do not drag...
…点“下载”按钮 ...the button that says "download."
[ 严重系统错误 ] Fatal System Error
各位早上好 Gentlemen, and lady, good morning.
看这个人，庞李豪 Meet Dr. Li How Pang.
格鲁昂特被杀时 他曾列座于贵宾席 He was, of course, in the VIP box when Gluant was killed.
更巧的是，庞先生 给过格鲁昂特很大一笔钱 Coincidentally, Dr. Pang would send Gluant large sums of money.
据推测，格鲁昂特本该 以庞的名义将钱投在饭店上 Presumably, Gluant was to invest these sums on Pang's behalf.
可作为一个疯狂的赌徒 格鲁昂特… But being a compulsive gambler, Gluant took the money...
…却把钱输了个精光 ...and gambled it all away.
这样一来，庞就有了作案动机 So Pang had the motive.
和作案的机会 He had the opportunity.
庞就在法国 今晚他要参加总统府的舞会 Pang is in France for the president's ball tonight.
我们将以涉嫌谋杀 伊弗斯·格鲁昂特将他抓捕归案 We will arrest him there for the murder of Yves Gluant.
了不起，总探长 Bravo, chief inspector.
我很荣幸地宣布 我将亲自… I am pleased to announce that I am personally taking over...
着手调查粉红豹命案 抓捕行动即将展开 ...the Pink Panther investigation and that an arrest is imminent.
- 谢谢大家 - 总探长… - Thank you. - Chief inspector...
验尸结果表明 毕祖死于… ...the coroner has announced that Bizu was killed...
正中枕叶的一记枪伤 您对此有何看法？ ...with a perfect shot to the occipital lobe. Any comments?
枕叶? （枕叶为大脑神经中枢） The occipital lobe?
这个与本案无关 It's irrelevant.
枕叶… The occipital lobe.
我可真是“风光无限”啊 That makes me feel good.
放大 Zoom.
原来如此 Of course.
庞顿，我要你马上到这儿来 Ponton, I need you over here immediately.
我们继续办案 We are back on the case.
尼可，我确信毕祖和格鲁昂特 为同一个人所杀 Nicole, I believe Bizu and Gluant were killed by the same person.
而且凶手今晚会再度作案 And that the killer will strike again tonight.
我要你到总统府同我会面 I want you to meet me at the presidential palace.
记得拿上我的PVC袋 上面写有“总统府”的那个 And bring my vinyl bag marked "presidential palace."
抓紧时间！仙妮娅处境非常危险！ And hurry! Xania is in grave danger.
庞顿，我们马上去总统府！ Ponton, we must get to the presidential palace immediately!
- 把安全带系上 - 我才不用系那玩意 - Put your seat belt on. - I don't need a seat belt.
看这玩意能跑多快！ Let's see what this baby can do!
不，克劳索不该在名单里 No. Clouseau should not be on this list.
他不再为国家机器效力了 He is no longer allowed at state affairs.
他丢尽了脸 现在就是过街老鼠一个 He has been disgraced and humiliated.
那些记者想进去怎么办？ But what about all the reporters who will want to come in?
等时机成熟，放他进去 When the time is right, let them pour in.
克劳索 Clouseau.
很抱歉，你不在名单上 I'm sorry, but your name is not on the list.
不在名单上？ Not on the list?
德雷福斯肯定不想让你进去 Dreyfus must have made sure you cannot get in.
庞顿 Ponton.
- 探长先生，这是你的包 - 干得好，尼可 - Inspector, here is your bag. - Good work, Nicole.
- 这是什么？ - 伪装，我们走 - What is that? - Camouflage. Let's go.
- 尼可 - 是 - Nicole. - Yes?
- 还有一件事 - 什么 - One last thing. - Yes?
现在是晚上了… It's evening...
你不戴眼镜更美 ...and you look beautiful without your glasses.
谢谢你，探长先生 Thank you, inspector.
- 总探长 - 什么事？ - Chief inspector. - What?
有手下报告发现了克劳索 Our men have reported a sighting of Inspector Clouseau.
克劳索？ Clouseau?
我知道他来干什么 来自讨苦吃 I know what he's up to. He wants to try to make the arrest himself.
发现克劳索 就以非法入侵逮捕他 If you see Clouseau, put him in cuffs for trespassing...
然后在晚会上游行示众 ...and parade him through the party.
让所有人提高警惕 在外面就把他抓住 I want all men on alert. Arrest him outside.
庞先生来了 Dr. Pang has arrived.
第一首歌结束以后就拿下他 We will take him after the first song.
是的，是的 Yes, yes. Very true.
好样的，庞顿 我们进来了 Good work, Ponton. We're in.
看！ Look!
是凶手！去抓他！ It's the killer! After him!
- 换衣服！ - 站住！ - Change outfits. - Stop! Turn around.
你们是谁？ Who are you?
- 在这里做什么？ - 我们… - What are you doing here? - We are... We are two... We are...
- 我来告诉你我们是谁 - 说吧 - I'll tell you exactly who we are. - Yes.
- 我们是… - 我到处都找遍了 - We are... - I've been looking for you everywhere.
你们两个死哪里去了？ Where the hell have you been?
- 你认得他们俩？ - 当然认得 - You know these two? - Of course I know them.
他们是仙妮娅的替补伴舞 会在第三场舞… They are Xania's backup dancers. They go on in the third act...
同“科莫多巨蜥” 和造雪机一同出场 ...with the Komodo dragon and the snow machine.
要不他们怎么穿成这样，好玩么？ Why do you think they are dressed like that, for fun?
- 证明给我看 - 我们没时间… - Prove it. - We don't have to prove...
你看不到他们都精疲力竭了吗？ Can't you see these dancers are exhausted?
还不快去倒杯水来 Go and fetch them some water.
太棒了 That was fantastic.
- 真的？ - 你是一个… - You think so? - You are...
了不起的女人 ...an amazing woman.
探长，凶手！ Inspector, the killer.
现在让我去抓凶手 Now I am ready to catch a killer.
住手！ Stop!
以法律的名义，马上住手！ Stop in the name of the law.
抓住他！ Get him!
精彩！ - Bravo! - Bravo!
庞顿，你走那边，我从这边包抄 Ponton, you follow him that way. I'll go this way and cut him off.
站住！ Stop!
转过身来 Turn around.
- 你被捕… - 你被捕了！ - You're under arre... - You are under arrest!
庞顿！抓住他！ Ponton! After him!
上 Now.
快！快！ Go, go!
庞先生，我以… Well, Dr. Pang. In the name of the statutes...
法兰西共和国法律之名… ...and laws of the great nation of France...
以涉嫌谋杀伊弗斯·格鲁昂特 的罪名逮捕你 ...I arrest you for the murder of Yves Gluant.
克劳索！抓住他！ Clouseau! Arrest him.
哪一个是他？ Which one is he?
就是那个了 That would be him.
我依据法兰西共和国法律之名… In the name of the statutes and laws of the great nation of France...
以涉嫌谋杀伊弗斯·格鲁昂特 的罪名逮捕你 ...I arrest you for the murder of Yves Gluant.
搞陪练的尤里·培连 Yuri, the trainer who trains.
你是谁？ And who are you?
我是探长雅克·克劳索 I am Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
格鲁昂特什么也不是！ Gluant was nothing!
都是我的功劳 I drew up the plays.
我告诉他的完美防守战术 他拿去占为己有 He takes credit for brilliant French defense which I gave him...
当我不存在，现在他真的“不存在”了 死于中国的毒药！ ...and treats me like I'm dead. Fine. Now he is dead from Chinese poison.
探长先生，是什么让你想到是他？ Inspector, what made you think it was him?
好好想想，庞顿 当时你也在场 But, Ponton, think back. You were there.
你们来找我什么麻烦？ WHY DO YOU BOTHER ME?
抓我来这里做什么？ 我很忙的 WHY DID YOU BRING ME HERE? I'M BUS Y.
教练是被中国的毒药毒死的 THE COACH WAS KILLED WITH CHINESE POISON.
你该去找球队的陪练 YOU SHOULD LOOK FOR SOCCER TRAINERS.
他们才有中药的知识 THE Y ARE REQUIRED TO HAVE A KNOWLEDGE OF CHINESE HERBS.
他说得对 She was right, of course.
根据87723号条例 球队的陪练 According to statute 87223, every trainer of the national soccer team...
必须懂得中药的知识 ...must have a knowledge of Chinese herbs.
这样他要谋杀格鲁昂特就十分容易 This made it easy for him to murder Gluant.
- 毕祖呢？ - 很简单 - And Bizu? - Simple.
毕祖常听见 尤里对格鲁昂特大嚷大叫 Bizu had often heard Yuri's rants against Gluant.
事后毕祖勒索尤里 招致杀身之祸 So Bizu blackmailed Yuri and got himself killed.
哦，是你 Oh, it's you.
完美的一枪爆头 A stunning shot to the head...
直射入枕叶 ...burrowing deeply into the occipital lobe.
尤里不过是个陪练 But Yuri is a soccer trainer.
那样的手法必出自一个神枪手 That shot was made by an expert marksman.
总探长，相信你一定很熟悉… Chief inspector, I'm sure you're familiar...
俄国军规611条 ...with Russian army statute 611.
当然 Well, of course.
所有军人… All members must be...
都必须精通射击 ...expert marksmen... - Expert marksmen.
并熟悉枕叶的位置 ...and understand the location of the occipital...
当然 - Occipital lobe, of course. - Yes.
- 很正确 - 尤里… - Very true. - Yes, Yuri.
仙妮娅还活着 Xania is still alive.
可是你恨她，所以要杀死她 But you hated her. And that's why you are trying to kill her.
你恨她是因为她 先后同毕祖和格鲁昂特约会 You hated her because she went with Bizu and then Gluant...
却从没把你放在眼里 ...and treated you like you were nothing.
可惜你忘记了对待女人的真谛 But you forgot a fundamental truth about women.
女人就像是… A woman is like a...
就像是… Is like a...
洋蓟花 ...artichoke.
只有用心争取，才能赢得佳人芳心 You have to do a bit of work before you get to her heart.
那钻石呢？粉红豹在哪里？ What about the diamond? What about the Pink Panther?
好了，克劳索探长 感谢你执行我的命令 Yes, thank you, Inspector Clouseau for carrying out my orders.
把钻石交出来，尤里 Hand over the diamond, Yuri.
那颗破钻石关我什么事？ What do I care about your stinking diamond?
他没有钻石 He does not have the diamond.
杀人犯没有钻石？ The murderer does not have the diamond?
- 没有 - 那…到底在哪？ - No. - Well, then, where is it...
克劳索探长 ...lnspector Clouseau?
就在那儿，她手提包里！ It is there! In her purse.
让我看看 Let me see.
抱歉，克劳索，没有钻石 Sorry, Clouseau, no diamond.
请把包给我 The purse, please.
劳驾拿着这个 Could you hold that, please?
格鲁昂特那时走到我身边 说他决定不再欺骗我 After Gluant came to me, he said he decided to stop cheating on me.
还要我嫁给他 Then he asked me to marry him...
然后就把钻石放到了我手里 ...and put the ring in my hands.
他被杀以后，我想… After he was killed, I thought...
要是我拿出戒指 人们一定会认为我是凶手 ...if I came forward with the ring, everyone would think I did it.
要是格鲁昂特在死之前 把戒指给了你 If Gluant gave you the ring before he died...
那么根据民法812-914B 你是合法所有人 ...then according to civil statute 812-914B, you are the rightful owner.
你可以拥有粉红豹戒指 You may keep the Pink Panther.
不过探长先生 你怎么知道戒指在她手上？ But, inspector, how did you know she had it?
很简单，庞顿 It was simple, Ponton.
我在观察安检那幅照片的时候 I was looking at a photo of myself at the checkpoint.
有件东西吸引了我 Something caught my eye:
那时候仙妮娅的钱包正经过X光机 Xania's purse passing through the x-ray machine.
我将图片放大… I enlarged the photo...
…那里面赫然躺着… ...and in it...
粉红豹钻戒！ ...the Pink Panther.
- 本案告破！ - 了不起，克劳索！ - The case is closed! - Bravo, Clouseau.
了不起！ Bravo!
克劳索！克劳索！ 克劳索！克劳索！ Clouseau! Clouseau! Clouseau! Clouseau!
总探长… Chief inspector?
十分感谢你给我这个机会 破了粉红豹命案 I can't thank you enough for giving me......the opportunity to solve the Pink Panther murder.
要不是你决定让我负责这个案子 Without your decision to put me on the case...
这荣誉勋章说不定就颁给别人了 ...who knows, someone else might've won the Medal of Honor this year.
是的，没错 Yes, I know.
我欠你一个人情 没有你，我还只是个无名小卒 I owe it all to you, chief inspector. Without you, I would be nothing.
- 现在也就是个“有名小卒” - 口才真不错，总探长 - Perhaps you still are. - Excellent verbal joust, inspector.
蠢货一个！哦，不… You idiot! Oh, no.
- 出发吧，庞顿 - 不…克劳索！ - Hit it, Ponton. - No! Clouseau!
停车！老天… Stop the car. Dear...
你说什么？ What?
没说什么 Nothing.
你没有说… You didn't say:
“停车…我的老天… 求你了…快停车…” "Stop the car. Dear God, I beg of you, stop the car"?
没有 No.
痛吗？ Does it hurt?
什么？ What?
我听不懂 I can't understand you.
我猜他是想换个姿势 You know what, I think he wants to recline.
这里应该有根杆子 There's a lever right here.
哦，在那边 Oh, it's on the other side, I'm sorry.
只差一点点了，稍等 A bit of a reach. Wait a minute. I'll get it.
我马上就弄好 I'll get it right here.
就在这背后 Is right back here.
总该有什么简单的办法… There must be a simpler way...
…哦，这有个遥控器 ...of working this... Oh, there's a remote control...
这样只需要… ...so that you can just...
哦，太灵敏了！ 我刚碰到就起来了！ It's sensitive! I hardly touched it! But it goes up...
好了！好了！ That's it! That's it!
- 庞顿 - 什么事，探长先生 - You know, Ponton. - Yes, inspector.
德雷福斯总探长 现正处境很差 This is a very hard time for Inspector Dreyfus.
我们一定要表现出深切的同情 It is important that we show compassion.
用微笑为他疗伤 And we must use the gentle healing power of laughter.
这样一定很痛 This is going to hurt.
克劳索！ Clouseau!
啊，这微风挺凉爽的 That breeze feels good.