I can't say the service was up to scratch. 我可不敢说这服务是达标的
It smacked of the conveyor belt. 整个就跟传送带一样
In fact, I wrote to the crematorium. 我还给殡仪馆写了信
I said, "I thought the hallmark of a ceremony 我说 “我认为仪式 尤其是葬礼”
"of that nature was reverence, “其核心在于敬意”
"whereas the word that kept coming into my mind was brisk." “但我脑海里能想到的词却是 潦草”
"Moreover," I added, "grief-stricken people do not expect to emerge “而且” 我还补充说 “心情悲痛的人们”
"from the Chapel of Rest to find grown men “并不想一走出殡仪馆停尸间”
"skulking in the rhododendrons with tab ends in their mouths." “就看见那些男的叼着烟屁股 在杜鹃花束间晃来晃去”
If the hearse drivers must smoke, then facilities should be provided. 灵车司机非要抽烟的话 殡仪馆就该提供相应的设施
I'd heard good reports of this crematorium, 我听说这家殡仪馆也有好名声
but I hoped that they would agree with me that, on this occasion, 但我希望 这次他们能跟我达成一致意见
it had let itself down. 它的确自砸招牌了
Of course, if I'd happened to be heartbroken, 当然了 我要是为葬礼心情悲痛
I'd have felt much worse. 我会感觉这一切更糟糕
I didn't let on to the crematorium 但我没向殡仪馆透露这个
cos I thought it might get them off the hook, 因为这样一来他们可能会推卸责任
but I actually didn't know her all that well. 其实我和逝者没那么熟
I used to see her getting on the 37 and we'd pass the time of day. 我以前经常看见她坐37路车 我们会寒暄一阵
She lost her mother round about the time I lost mine. 我们差不多同时 痛失了各自的母亲
She had a niece in Australia, and I have the one cousin in Canada. 她有个侄女在澳大利亚 我唯一的表亲在加拿大
And then she went in for gas-fired central heating 还有就是 她用燃气集中供热系统
just a few weeks before I did, 几周后 我也开始用了
so one way or another, we'd covered a lot of the same ground. 所以我们有许多共同点 可以这么说
I'd spent years thinking she was called Hammersley, 这么多年 我一直以为她叫Hammersley
which was way off the mark cos her name turns out to be Pringle. 其实错得离谱 她的真名是Pringle
There was a picture of her in the Evening Post - 晚报刊登了一张她的照片
for which she'd been a big voluntary worker - 原因是她一直热心于社工服务
with details of the funeral on the Wednesday afternoon, 报纸还提到了周三下午她葬礼的细节
which is the one time I'm dangling my feet a bit, 那时间我正好没事可做
so I thought I'd get out my little maroon coat 所以我想着 我得翻出我的褐红色小外套
and put in an appearance. 去葬礼一趟
At least it's an outing. 毕竟也是出门嘛
And I was glad I'd gone, but, as I say, 这决定没错 但就像我开头说的
the ceremony was a bit lacklustre 整个葬礼有点草率了
and topped off by these young fellas smoking, 被这些抽烟的年轻人搞得乌烟瘴气
so I thought the least I could do was write. 所以我觉得 最起码我得写封信投诉这件事
Anyway, I got a charming letter back from the director of operations, 然后 我收到了运营部主管的回信
a Mr Widdop. 来自Widdop先生
He said he was most grateful 他说非常感谢我
that I'd drawn this matter to his attention, 能写信告诉他这件事
and, while he was aware the practice sometimes went on, 他还说 尽管他知道这样的事时有发生
if he personally caught anybody smoking, 但要是他当场抓住有人抽烟
he would jump on the culprits with both feet. 他会严厉地批评对方
He knew I would appreciate 他知道我也同意这一点
that discipline within the chapel precincts 就是殡仪馆周围的秩序
presented special problems, 确实存在很多问题
as it wasn't always convenient to tear a strip off somebody 但把犯错的人骂得狗血淋头 也不太好
when there were grief-stricken people knocking about. 毕竟附近还有前来吊唁的人
What he personally preferred to do was to keep a low profile 他个人的建议是先低调行事
and then come down on the offenders like a tonne of bricks 等到周围没什么可顾虑的
once the coast was clear. 再狠狠处理这些违反规定的人
And with regard to my remarks about facilities, 至于我提到修建设施的问题
they had no plans to provide a smoking area in the Chapel of Rest 他们并不打算在殡仪馆停尸间提供吸烟区
in the foreseeable future, 至少是在相当长的一段时间内
as I must understand that space was at a premium, 因为我必须理解 殡仪馆的空间有限
and top of their list of priorities at the present moment 目前他们的头等大事
was the provision of a temporary temple 是修一个临时的寺庙
for the use of racial minorities. 供少数族群使用
However, he would bear my remarks in mind, 但他说会保留我的意见
and, if I were to come across any similar infringements 并说 如果我再遇到这种类似的违规行为
in the future, I was not to hesitate to get in touch. 我可以立即和他联系
I wrote him a little letter back, 我给他回了一封简短的信
thanking him for his prompt and courteous reply, 感谢他及时且礼貌的回信
and saying that though I hoped not to make any further visits 我还说 我并不希望近期再去一趟
to the crematorium in the near future - joke - 就是再去殡仪馆 - 好了 玩笑话
I took his point. 我说十分理解
I also dropped a line to the relatives, 我还给Pringle的亲戚们写信
care of the undertakers, 地址是问殡仪员要的
saying I was an acquaintance of Miss Pringle's, 我说我是Pringle女士的一位熟人
had been present at the ceremony 之前出席过葬礼
and had taken the liberty of entering into correspondence 冒昧地写这封信
with the crematorium over the unfortunate lapse. 是想指出殡仪馆的这个小问题
I enclosed a copy of Mr Widdop's reply, 我还随信附上了Widdop先生回信的复印件
but they...they didn't write back, 但之后 就没人再回信了
which I can understand, 我知道为什么
because the one thing death always entails 因为人去世总是导致一个问题
is a mass of correspondence. 就是信件来往频繁
When Mother died, I had 53 letters. 我母亲去世时 我收到53封信
Besides, they may not have even seen them smoking. 话说回来 他们也许没撞上那些人抽烟
They were probably blinded with grief. 因为悲伤蒙蔽了他们的双眼
I see we've got a new couple moved in opposite. 我瞧见一对新婚夫妇刚搬到我家对面
Don't look very promising. 看上去不怎么样
The kiddy looks filthy. 他们的孩子脏兮兮的
A card from the opticians this morning 今天早上 眼镜店发来一张卡片
saying that their records indicate 上面写着 他们的记录显示
that it's two years since they supplied me with spectacles, 我在店里配眼镜已经两年了
and that by now they would almost certainly be in need of verification 目前 他们急需核实这个信息
and suggesting I call at my earliest convenience. 让我方便的话 尽早回电
I thought that was nice, 我觉得这很贴心
so I took my trusty Platignum and dashed off an answer forthwith. 所以我拿起心爱的Platignum牌钢笔 立即给他们回了一封信
I said I thought it was very considerate of them 我在信里说 他们考虑得非常周到
to have kept me in mind, 还记得我
and while I was quite satisfied with my spectacles at the present moment, 我非常满意我现在的这一副眼镜
I was grateful to them for drawing this matter to my attention, 也非常感谢他们告诉我这件事
and in the event of my noticing any deterioration, 还说 要是我的眼镜出什么问题
I would in due course get in touch with them. 我会尽快联系他们
It's stood me in good stead, has this pen. 这支笔真是帮了我不少的忙
Mother bought it me the last time 母亲最后一次去哈罗盖特时
she was able to get over to Harrogate. 买了这支笔送我
It's been a real friend. 它一直是我的挚友
Angie, her name is. 那个女人叫Angie
I heard him shout of her as I went by en route for the Post Office. 我去邮局的路上 听到她丈夫这么喊她
He was laid out underneath his car wanting a spanner, 他躺在车底 想要一个扳手
and she came out, transistor in one hand, kiddy in the other. 她走了出来 一手拿着收音机 一手牵着孩子
Thin little thing, bruise on its arm. 小家伙很瘦 胳膊上还有淤青
And I thought, "Well, you've got a car, you've got a transistor, 我就想着 “好家伙 你有了一辆车 还有一个收音机”
"it's about time you invested in some curtains." “你也该花钱买些窗帘了”
She can't be more than 20, 她看起来还不到20岁
and by the look of her, she's expecting another. 但从外表来看 她还想再要一个孩子
I passed the place where there was the broken step 我经过的地方有级台阶坏了
I wrote to the council was a danger to the public. 我写信告诉议会 说这威胁到公共安全
Little ramp there now. Access for the disabled. 于是 现在那儿建了个坡道 供残疾人使用
Whenever I pass, I think, "Well, that's thanks to you, Irene." 我每次经过都会想 “噢 真是多亏了你 Irene”
It's my monument, that ramp. 这个坡道就是我的勋章
Only some dog had gone and done its business right in the middle of it. 只是一些狗经过那儿 拉屎在坡道中间
I'm sure there's more of that than there used to be. 我敢肯定 现在那儿的狗屎比以前多了很多
I had a little awayday to London last year. 去年 我去伦敦玩了一趟
It was dog dirt everywhere. 那里到处都是狗屎
I spotted some on the pavement right outside Buckingham Palace. 我亲眼看见 白金汉宫门外的人行道上有狗屎
I wrote to the Queen about it. 我就此事写信给女王
Had a charming letter back from a lady-in-waiting 她的一位侍女给我回了信
saying Her Majesty appreciated my interest 她在信里说 女王陛下很感谢我
and that my letter had been passed on to the appropriate authority. 我之间写的信已经送到了有关部门
The upshot eventually is I get a long letter 最后 我收到一封长信
from the Chief Cleansing Officer to Westminster City Council, 回信人是威斯敏斯特市政委员会负责清洁工作的首席官员
apologising profusely 对方一而再地道歉
and enclosing a rundown of their highways and maintenance budget. 还附上一份高速公路建设和养护的预算表
That's been my experience, generally. 总体来说 这是我的个人经验
People are only too grateful to have these things pointed out. 人们太好心了 总是不愿指出这些问题
The keynote is participation. 而关键就在于 我们要有参与感
Of course, I wrote back to thank him, 当然了 我回信感谢了他
and then blow me if I didn't get another letter thanking me for mine. 但要是我没收到一封感谢我好意的回信 那就去你的吧