All of us have demons.
All I want is a relationship with my daughter.
He's an alcoholic and so were you.
You face them.
And just when you think you're winning,
it turns out.
They weren't your demons to begin with.
What the fuck?
Oh, fu...
Vance!
It's not what you think.
You're getting married tomorrow!
I was gonna tell you ages ago, but your mom didn't want.
Tell me what?
Hardin is Christian's son.
- I'm so sorry. - Fuck off!
Hardin.
It was. It was a mistake.
Which part?
Christian told you?
My love, if I could go back.
If I could go back, if...
I should have told you.
Yeah.
Hardin!
Ooh, yeah.
- Hi. - Hey.
You sure you wanna do that?
I'll get one of those.
Your dad.
Ken.
You know, we were like brothers.
And then you fucked his wife.
That's not how it was.
I loved your mum.
She was head over heels with him.
But then when he went to university, he wasn't there.
He was wandering around. He was always busy.
And. she turned to me for emotional support.
That's how it became intimate.
Spare me the fucking details, okay?
I had this ridiculous notion that we'd run off together and.
She'd marry me instead of Ken.
Then they announced they were expecting.
And that was that.
This is just brilliant.
And Mum, Ken and you lying to me my entire fucking life.
Ken didn't know.
I think deep down he's always suspected her.
That was when he really started drinking.
You could have stopped all of it.
My entire fucking life could have been different
if you weren't such a fucking coward.
Smith, you can go dance with them. Go on.
Does he know that Hardin is his brother?
Where's Hardin?
I don't know. He bolted.
What?
Maybe he needed some space.
Wait, Tessa.
Oh, Christian, you should see him.
He's growing up so fast.
He's a little man now.
And so talented.
His essay got chosen to run in a paper.
Well done, Hardin.
Can you tell him I said that?
He's brilliant.
He's like his father.
Look, I gotta get going. Um, let's talk again soon.
Yeah. Of course.
Bye, Christian.
Hey, keep it down.
Ken!
Hardin, who gave this to you?
Vance.
- Ken! Ken! - Stop! You're ruining it!
Hardin!
I'm so sorry.
Hardin?
I've been looking for you.
Wanna drink?
No.
Come on, let's go back to the hotel.
Not yet.
Okay. Please, Hardin,
I'm really cold and tired. And I just wanna go back...
Tessa, you're not the one who just found out
his entire life was a lie.
So, either have a drink with me or go.
Okay. I'm gonna get us an Uber.
You know, I'm pretty sure
that she would have locked it before she left.
Hey!
Hardin, please. I know you're upset,
and I know you're angry. And you should...
You know, I hear her screams
every single time I walk in this place.
Okay, we need to leave.
Years I've spent hating a man
who as it turns out, I didn't even need to fucking like!
Don't touch me.
What's the plan? What are you gonna do here?
Are you gonna burn your mother's house down?
I'm gonna burn the fucking place down, yeah.
So, you're gonna get arrested, you know that? Right?
Which is why you should leave.
No! I'm not... I'm not going without you.
Tess.
"If two people love each other,
there can be no happy end to it."
Don't quote Hemingway at me.
Why are you always trying to find
some sort of light in me, Tessa?
Wake up. There is no fucking light.
I have fucked up parents,
fucked up past. - Look at my parents!
So, I have a fucked up head now!
My Dad's homeless, for God's sake.
It's not a fucking competition!
Hardin, please, give me the lighter.
Please, Hardin, can you think about what you're doing?
Hardin?
Oh, my God.
Hardin, we gotta get out here.
Get the fuck off me!
We need to go!
All right, Tessa, you take my car.
- I can't. - Yes, you can. I've got him.
Come on, man, we need to go. - Now, you wanna play hero?
Where were you?
Where were you when she was being beaten
to a bloody fucking pulp?
Fuck away from me!
You're too late!
I'm sorry, all right?
- I don't care. - I'm sorry!
Come here.
I am sorry. I should have been here for her.
Listen to me!
I should have been here.
But you ruining your life isn't gonna make hers better.
We need to go!
Come on! Get out, now!
Go, go!
Go.
Dispatches unit.
Where are we?
I don't know where. I just kept driving.
Where's Vance? Is he.?
I texted him. He's okay.
But, um.
He told the police that he started the fire.
He's got lawyers.
And that's not gonna change anything.
He still lied to me for 21 years.
He's your father.
As of yesterday.
We should get back.
Thank you.
Please.
Just let me try to explain myself.
No.
Not right now anyways.
Pull over.
I think I should stay here for a while.
Why?
Because.
Because I just keep dragging you into my shit, Tessa.
It's not fair.
Please don't push me away.
I love you.
Tess.
Touch me.
I love you.
What are you thinking about?
I wanna stay like this forever.
I'll get the bags.
Go check on Kimberly, take a shower.
I'll be fine.
Kimberly, Tessa's here.
- Are you okay? - Yeah.
Where's Hardin?
I could feel him withdrawing with every breath.
I'm-I'm sorry.
I don't want to bother you with this.
You're already going through...
No. Tessa, there is no rule that says
only one person can be in pain at a time.
And for selfish reasons, hearing about your problems
makes me feel slightly better about my own.
Talk to me.
I feel like I'm drowning.
And I want to make it work, but I just.
I don't know if I can keep fighting
against the current to save him rather than myself.
Yeah.
Concierge brought this up.
Shit.
Fuck off.
Long time, man.
Long time.
James, look who's here.
Oh, shit! Awoo!
You look just like a guy I used to party with.
Yeah, you look like a guy who was high 24/7.
I am he.
Yo, get comfy.
I'm just gonna make a few calls in honor of our guest.
Okay, come on.
Hey, sit down, man. Sit.
Look at you, bougie as fuck.
Ah. You still look like shit.
What've you got? A job interview?
Still funny as fuck, huh, James.
Hey, you want to drink?
I would love a drink.
Tessa.
You okay?
Great.
I'm gonna go get him.
Thanks.
Hello.
Hi. Is Hardin there?
Uh, Scott is disposed at the moment.
Uh, are you gonna come to the party?
Um. Yeah, I just need the address again.
It's 52, Warwick Street.
Ask her if she's hot.
Uh, my friend's asking if you're hot.
We're running out of ten-out-of-tens here.
- Ask her if she has friends. - Yeah well, she hung up.
Hey.
Give that to Hardin, man.
Now, come on. Drink up.
Hey! Have a shot.
Come on in, come on in.
Thanks.
Whoa. American.
Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.
I'm Mark. This is my flat.
I'm Tessa.
C'mon, love. Let's get you a drink.
Hey, Scott.
Yo, give me that damn vodka.
Need to make my new friend here a drink.
Tessa, what?...?
Oh, you two knew each other?
Yeah. I'm gonna take that as a yes.
Fucking hell! Jesus Christ!
What the fuck?
What? You're the only one who gets to break things?
You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend.
What the hell is wrong with you?
What? Do you think you're just gonna slum it here
and you'll forget about your problem?
Why the fuck are you even here?
I'm not letting you get away with being a coward again.
I'm giving you one chance to leave with me.
But if I walk out the door without you, that's it.
So, um, if she isn't your girlfriend.
Just get the fuck away!
Tessa, outside, now.
We're just playing about, Scott.
Tess, what the fuck?
This is bullshit, Hardin. This isn't us.
Us? What "us", Tess? There is no us.
We. we keep going round in circles, and you,
you just won't fucking give up.
God! What more do you need?
You don't belong here.
You shouldn't be here. You don't fit in here!
So just go!
You win, Hardin.
You always do.
You'd know better than anyone.
You sure you don't want help?
No, it's just a couple of things.
I got most of it before Seattle anyway. So.
Okay.
Don't say I didn't ask.
Uh-hmm.
Tess, please.
Hardin?
Well, that was one hell of a dream, man.
Ooh.
- Are you okay? - Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
Your hand looks pretty bad.
Ah, it's not that bad. I'll be fine.
Bro, you were fucking wrecked.
Hey, that American girl?
I thought she was gonna tear the whole place down, bro.
She was a bitch.
Dad?
- Oh no, no! - It's okay. it's okay.
I got you, I got you.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
Strong enough for you?
Yeah. It wasn't strong enough.
Hardin, your phone's ringing.
It's Landon.
Mr. Scott's very busy at the moment.
Can I take him... - Hey.
Whoa-oh!
Landon, if I wanted to talk to you,
I would have picked up the phone the other 30 times you called.
You know what? I know you're a selfish prick.
I thought you could help, but, you know what?
She's... she's... she's gonna get through this without you.
Get through what?
La...?
Landon? What's wrong?
Just tell me she's okay.
It's, um.
It's Richard. He's dead.
And, uh, Tessa found him.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck.
Um. Where... where is she?
We're at her mom's.
She hasn't. She hasn't spoken a word.
Can you let me talk to her?
I don't think that's a good idea.
Please.
Please just put the phone to her ear.
You know, you really shouldn't be speaking to her.
Then why the fuck did you call?
Of course, I'm who she needs!
You know us! You know me!
All right, fine.
Just stay calm, okay? Just give me a second.
Hey, Tessa.
I have Hardin on the phone for you.
Um-mm, um-mm, um-umm.
- Okay, okay. You don't have to. - No, no. No, no.
- No. No. No. - It's fine.
- Please, no! - Don't worry. It's fine. -Tess.
Fuck!
Oh!
I mean, it's gonna be me or your mom
and she's gonna make you eat it.
Looks pretty good.
I'm just so tired.
Hmm.
You're enjoying yourself.
One little slip and it could all be over.
Are you still talking about my shave?
I meant the shave,
but if you wanted to talk about last night.
I'm sorry, Tess.
I didn't mean to get that trashed.
It's just with your dad...
I'm not my dad. I'm not him.
Tess, if you don't like it, tell me.
- I don't like it. - Then I'll stop.
I won't drink another drop.
Really?
What... what are you.?
She doesn't want you here.
I didn't fly
5,000 fucking miles to argue with you.
I don't know if she's awake.
Let me just at least see if she's... Hardin!
Tess.
- Hey. - No. No, no.
- No, no, no. - Hey, hey, hey.
Do you want him here, Tess?
You're fucked if you think I'm going anywhere.
Tess. - No, get off me!
Hey, it's okay.
You gotta leave.
You gotta leave or I'm calling the cops?
Call the fucking cops. Call 'em.
- I'm not going anywhere! - That's not funny!
- I'm not laughing! - She doesn't want you here!
You have no fucking idea what she wants!
You weren't here when she needed you!
Now, you're make... You're making it worse.
Tess?
Ugh, she's trying to avoid you.
You're the reason she took...
I'll check the front door.
Hey, hey, Tess.
It's not about you.
I know. I... I just want to...
I need quiet .
Please.
I haven't always treated you fairly.
You hate me, Carol.
You've always hated me.
And it's fine. I don't care.
But you should know your opinion means fuck all to me.
And I mean that in the nicest way.
You're exactly like him.
That's exactly how Richard used to talk to my parents.
I am not him.
All right. Well.
I only care about what's best for Tessa.
So do I.
The one thing that I thought that I taught her,
and you may not believe me,
was to not have to depend on a man the way that I did.
And now, look at her.
She's... she's reduced to nothing every time you leave.
- Listen, I'm not... - No, no. Let me finish.
Yeah, you always come back
the way that Richard never did for us.
But you never stay.
I don't know what you want from me, Carol.
I love her.
I'm never letting her go.
If you really love her, then you'll do what's best for her.
And that is up to you now.
Because you are the only person that she'll listen to.
That girl loves you way too much for her own good.
But Hardin, you and I both know
that you can't give her what she needs.
And that is stopping her from finding someone who will.
I can only imagine how you're feeling right now.
I keep thinking about the last time I saw him.
He was eating half my damn pizza.
He was happy.
Just happy he had a place to stay.
I am so sorry for what happened in London.
I really am.
I thought we had a love that was out of a novel.
And no matter how hard or fast or tough it was,
we'd survive to tell the story.
Hey.
We do. And we can. We can survive it.
I don't wanna survive. I want to live.
I can't keep doing this.
Tess.
You don't love me enough to fight for me.
You gave up every time.
I tried.
I really fucking tried.
I'm sorry I couldn't fix you.
Me, too.
Who's paying for all this?
You don't have to worry about money right now, honey.
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. It's okay.
Ugh. Hey, I got make up on... - Oh. And.
And a little bit of snot.
Just a little bit.
- You ready? - Yeah.
I hadn't seen my father for nine years.
But reconnecting with him was one of the greatest gifts.
Even if it was only briefly.
He had so many demons, but.
He was also so kind.
And he was trying to be better for me.
I know that.
You need a ride? Hardin?
I don't think I should go.
Why? You were his friend, kind of.
And you paid for it, so.
Landon, do me a favor and keep that between us.
Sure. Doesn't mean you shouldn't come.
So, come.
Sorry, I didn't know that you were.
I don't know half these people.
It's kind of weird.
When people go to funerals of someone they don't even know.
It's just especially him.
I mean, they're total hypocrites.
No one here even liked him.
You did.
And even I did.
I'm really mad at him.
I'm like. I'm like pissed off.
Hey, you have every right to be mad at him.
Whether he's dead or not.
I saw how much it meant to you to have him back in your life.
And I think he is an idiot
for throwing that all the way just to get high.
But I mean, I'm one to talk, aren't I?
I'm so sorry it took something like this
for me to realize how much you mean to me.
And how much. I want to be there for you.
I need to go back inside.
Okay.
Oh, come on.
Thank you so much for everything.
Yeah, of course.
Hey, could I have a lift?
My Ubers keep canceling.
I'm supposed to be meeting Nora
and I'm already late, so.
- Cool. - Yeah.
We'll see if this one turns up.
Do you want to come with me?
Back to Ken's.
I should really stay here.
It's been a long day
and I've got a doctor's appointment in Seattle.
Tomorrow.
Sure.
Vance and Kimberly back?
They get back in the morning.
They're trying to work everything out for the baby.
You know what? I'm... I'm gonna come with you.
I'm gonna start looking for places up there.
I'm ready.
- I don't... I don't think... - Tess. Tess,
it's my turn to be there for you.
I don't want anything from you anymore.
I don't believe you.
And I don't think you believe yourself either.
I'm so sorry that we weren't at your father's funeral.
No, no, it's fine.
Um, ugh. I wouldn't have been good company anyway.
Uh, I was actually,
I was thinking about moving to New York.
With Landon.
New York? That...
Wow!
What's your plan?
Do you know where you're gonna work, what...?
Not really. I. I mean, I know it's far.
I just think that I need a fresh start.
Tessa, it's okay to be sad.
But if you let sadness control your life,
you'll never have one.
But what if I just always feel like this?
What you've been through is awful.
But you are so strong,
and I know you'll get through this.
It just takes time.
And as for Hardin.
Girl, just do your best to pretend you're moving on
and eventually, you'll believe it.
Why did you stay if you knew she wanted him?
I loved her.
I thought that she would see that he couldn't give her
the stability that I could.
You know, I imagine if. If Tessa marries another man,
this is how he's gonna feel, competing with a memory of you.
I'm not Vance, okay? Just because.
I'm not him.
You are.
Okay.
So, it's... it's true.
He's your father.
I knew it. I knew it the first time that I saw you.
You look just like him.
I did everything so wrong.
And I couldn't stand that you were his.
That doesn't excuse the drinking, but.
I've loved you.
I still love you.
You're my son.
I'm sorry.
Let's talk about these test results.
Unfortunately, the chances are very slim
that you will carry to term.
There are other options.
Adoption is a route many people choose.
- Hey. - Hey.
Hey, I've been trying you all day. What's up?
Um, I left my phone on silent.
Is everything okay?
No, not really. But. I have to go.
Tess?
Tessa?
Hey, Tess.
Hardin.
Hey, come inside.
I had a feeling you'd come.
- Did you? - Yeah.
It's late.
It is.
Do you want a baby with me?
No, I don't want a baby with you.
I mean.
I just.
I don't want a baby right now.
I love sleep.
My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake.
Your life is gonna be just fine, okay?
You said it once. There can be no happy end to it.
I didn't mean that.
And I shouldn't have said it.
I love you enough now.
What do you want to do?
- I love you. - Shush. We can quote Hemingway
when we're sober, okay?
For now, just go to sleep.
Go to sleep.
Stay.
Morning.
Um, what did I say last night?
You mean, besides quoting Hemingway?
Oh, no, I didn't.
It wasn't that bad.
Do you, uh.
Do you want to tell me what's been bothering you?
It's nothing. It's the doctor.
Listen.
If you are pregnant, I just wanted to say
that I would genuinely be okay with that.
It really would not be so bad having kids with you.
Or, obviously, if you're... If you're not pregnant,
I guess maybe after you finish college,
or I don't know, either way.
I can't get pregnant.
The. the doctor said that it'll...
It'd be almost impossible for me to conceive.
And even if I did, there'd be a high risk of miscarriage
so I can't.
Agh!
Uh, can you say somethin'?
I don't know what to say.
What do you... what do you mean, you don't know what...
You don't want kids anyway.
No, I-I-I didn't.
Now, it just feels like it's been taken away from us.
Uh, no, not from you. From me.
Wait.
That was the wrong thing to say. You know I didn't mean it.
Tess, wait. Please wait.
Tessa.
Please just don't shut down on me again.
I don't give a fuck if we can have kids or not, honestly.
I'm sorry that you feel like I took something from you.
- I don't. - But you're not the one
who's just had their dreams crushed here, you know?
Like you didn't want kids until two seconds ago
which just came out of nowhere.
I just want to be with you.
Kids, no kids.
When I was in London,
I could not stop thinking about you.
Right. Yeah, I'm sure... I'm sure you saw my face
when you were sleeping with that girl at the party.
Who are you.? What?
Te... nothing of the sort happened.
And I won't lie to you. - Shut up. You did.
She did... she did try to kiss me and when she did,
I literally threw up, so.
You literally threw up.
I did.
- Threw up. - I threw up.
Instant noodles, and it went on her head.
Good.
Good?
- Yeah, good. - Good.
And that is why Hardin is afraid of gerbils.
If you don't stop makin' up stories,
I'll tell Nora about that time you wet yourself.
Touché.
All right, then.
This is so good. The sauce is amazing.
It's all of Landon's favorites before he leaves us.
This food almost makes me sad to go.
So Nora, what part of New York are you in?
Um, East 14th and First Ave.
What she actually meant was how far is it from Landon.
Oh. Um.
- Like. - Like 50 minutes by train.
Fifty minutes.
I'm sorry. It's just practically long distance.
I don't know how you're gonna make that work.
I mean, I have to go through there
to get to class every day.
I mean, not... not that we'd be
seeing each other every day. But I mean, we could
if you wanted too.
So, Hardin, graduation is looming.
No, we're not doing this again. I don't want...
Have you given more thought to...
No, I haven't 'cause I'm not going to
walk for graduation, okay? I don't want to walk.
- Really? - Yeah, really.
- You sure? - I'm sure.
Hm.
I just thought.
I don't know. I just thought for sure you'd reconsider.
So you've obviously asked her
- to ask me? - What? What?
Fuck it, fine. I'll walk for graduation then.
- Yes! - Don't make me change my mind.
To walking.
Cheers to that.
- To walking. - Cheers to that.
- To walking. - Here we go again.
Come on.
Hey, I need to talk to you about something.
Okay.
I made a decision about something, and I didn't.
With everything that's been going on
because of a lot of things, but.
We need time apart.
Like. like really apart.
And...
This seems like the only way to make sure
that that actually happen.
Okay, why?
Because we fight more than we get along.
And when we make up, it's over sex.
That's not... That's not really true.
It is, and it's not healthy.
How is sex not healthy?
We've been having lots of fun, happy, consensual sex.
And it's been full of fucking love and fucking trust.
I can't keep going around in circles like this.
Okay, okay. I understand.
And I do have a lot to work on.
But we have so much time.
We have all the time in the world,
and I will work on them.
And I can come live with you
in Seattle. - Okay. Okay.
I'm moving.
Okay.
I'm moving to New York.
I'm gonna live with Landon.
Landon?
What? This was his idea?
No, no, no. This was my idea.
This wasn't. don't...
He's supposed to be my fucking brother.
It's not like that. It's... no! Hey!
- No, no. - I'm just gonna...
New York!
You didn't fucking tell me!
Well, it wasn't my call.
You'd broken up with her. What do you...?
You've been pretending to be my fucking friend!
I didn't pretend shit, Hardin!
I'm her friend too, and I'm cleaning up your shit as usual.
Well, go ahead.
Fucking hit me, you big man.
Big piece of shit.
Fuck.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Tess, but.
You know, of all people,
he knows how much you mean to me.
That you're my
fucking lifeline, and he didn't tell me,
and that fucking hurts.
It fucking hurts, okay?
I'm shit without you.
I'm just as good at dooming this relationship as you.
Is it doomed?
Is it? I feel like we can make this work.
You're trying, and I see that. But I.
I can't keep doing this back and forth.
It's... it's... it's not just with you.
It's with me.
You can't just escape yourself
by moving from one place to another, you know.
You know that, right?
I need to figure things out. And. if you love me,
- if you really love me... - I do. I do.
Then I need you to promise not to follow me.
- I can't do that. - Promise me.
I can't do that.
We can make this work! - Promise not to follow me.
Give me some time
or we're gonna end up taking everyone down with us.
How long?
How long, Tess?
How long?
I don't know.
Okay. Okay.
So I'm glad this is the right place.
Hi.
Oh. Hello. Hello.
Well, I don't agree...
Welcome to The Lookout.
- I'm so excited. - Thank you so much.
- You're welcome. - Thank you so much.
The best.
I haven't actually read this before.
"He lived his life for himself and then it shifted."
"It became much more than waking up
and going to sleep."
And you don't know what he's doing in town?
What?
You don't know why Hardin's coming?
He did not say, but uh,
I couldn't have him staying at a hotel.
Especially with a minibar. Is that shitty?
I know he's sober now.
No, no. No, I get it.
And, you know, I mean,
I'm working doubles this week anyway,
so I won't even have to see him.
Nora said if, uh, it gets too weird,
you can crash at her place.
I mean it's just. Ei... either way,
it was going to be shitty like...
Oh no, it's fine. I'll be fine.
You're doing the thing
- where you go, you go... - Oh, please.
"I'll be fine," and you look away.
Honestly?
Yeah.
- Wallet, keys, phone? - Yes.
- Okay. - Okay.
Ciao.
Hey, so Landon just got here, and Hardin is with him.
They are asking for your section.
Uh. yeah, of course.
- You sure? - Yeah. I guess.
Tessa.
Theresa?
Uh, yeah.
I put my full name on the job application.
Uh, Hardin wanted to eat here.
That's. that's.
That's fine.
Yeah, of course.
Let me seat you guys.
Yeah.
Nice to see you.
Nice to see you, too.
Yup.
Sorry.
So, you've been here since this morning.
Yeah, I'm working a double today.
When will you get off?
Uh, one, so I should be home around two.
Every single day.
And I'll try not to wake you, again.
What can I get you guys?
Good night.
I just wanted to make sure you got home okay.
You do know that I walk this every night, right?
Since you're here.
So why are you working here anyway?
Isn't Vance opening his new publishing house?
Uh, I just want to do something on my own.
I like it. Nora's here.
I make more money than you'd think.
Uh, plus it keeps me busy while I'm waiting to get into NYU.
What? You haven't gotten in yet?
No, but I'm hoping for the spring semester.
Are you happy?
Yeah.
Are you seeing anyone?
Yes. I'm out every night
being wined and dined.
I'm actually not dating anyone.
I'm quite conservative in that way.
- Hey, girlie. - Hey, watch it!
Hey! It's okay.
Hey, Joe.
Uh, I brought you some fries and the sliders that you love.
I'll see you tomorrow.
It makes me feel better about my dad.
Do you wanna.?
Tomorrow, if you're not working,
I have some free time if you wanna.?
I'm working a double. That I took
so I wouldn't have to see you.
Hey.
- Stop. - Hey, hey.
- Stop. Stop! Stop! - Hey, Hardin.
Hey, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.
Oh, fuck.
Thank you.
I miss this.
Me too.
Tessa.
I'm so sorry. I got lost.
I didn't know which turning it was.
Hey! Hey, Joe. Here you go.
Stay safe, man.
You seem different, like.
Like the same but just different.
I'm still me.
A fair bit of therapy,
and I'm hitting the gym more but I'm still me.
Do you still drink?
I do have the odd beer or glass of wine
but I am never chugging a bottle of whiskey again,
if that's what you mean.
- Mm. - Tess.
Well, how is it then?
Mm.
Oi, Tess.
At least share it if you're gonna.
You know, if I wasn't such a gentleman,
I would have you on this counter right now.
I thought you weren't a gentleman.
I'm half gentleman right now.
A half?
Uh-huh.
And that means.
As much as I want you.
I can't be with you.
Until you're really ready to be with me.
Or. what?
Come on, grab some plates.
Let's eat.
Tess, plates. Now, please.
What?
Nothing.
Good morning.
- Good morning. - Good morning.
Bye.
Finally.
And it feels good.
I'm gonna go take a shower.
Thank you, Tess.
- Hey. - Hey.
How's work?
Good.
Long.
Is, um, is Landon home?
Uh, he's staying at Nora's.
Are you going out?
No.
Got an early meeting tomorrow.
Give me your feet.
Come sit in front of me.
That feels good.
It would feel a lot better without this.
Just saying.
This is your idea.
I know.
In five months, Theresa.
You are pushing every ounce of my self-control.
I have thought about this
every single second of every fucking day.
You have no idea.
So, by sleeping with me, I think you just agreed
to start seeing me again.
Mm. is that so?
Mm-hm.
I love this. - What?
This. Us.
You know we're always going to be like this, Tess.
I really have to go to this meeting
so I will see you when I'm back. - Okay.
Okay.
It was the fall when he met her.
In his world, he was only concerned about one thing.
Himself.
He'd won every bet so far,
and this was supposed to be no different,
although in Tessa's nearness,
he felt an apprehension this time.
In a Darcy-inspired gesture, he funded her father's funeral.
It was only the beginning of what he felt he needed to do
to absolve himself.
His guilt led heavy in the call that he hadn't answered.
The only reason he didn't lose himself
again in darkness.
.Was in knowing her dad was happy.
His death was surely an accident.
It didn't bring him back, but his talk of his future
and appreciating the time off the street.
Though she was unable to bear children of her own,
she couldn't let go of the dream of them.
He knew that, and loved her even so.
He tried not to be selfish.
But he couldn't help thinking about the little versions of him
she couldn't give him.
He hopes she will understand just how broken he was
and see how much she affected his life.
"She stumbled
"through the room the way that tasteless girls move
when they drink too much."
Stop reading that.
No, no, no, you don't get to write my story
and then tell me I can't read it.
That part's not about you.
How long have you been writing about us?
After we kissed.
You. like the first time?
Are you fucking kidding me?
You're just.
Tess, I'll explain
if you'll just listen. - Oh, no.
You already have, on every page.
- This is what I did to vent. - Great.
Where are you going?
- I. - Tess!
I'm done. This. we're just a bomb waiting to explode.
This was a wake-up call. - What do you mean?
You're acting like I wrote that
to purposely hurt you. - How...
How did you think I was gonna feel?
It was not all about you.
You would never let me read what you were writing in there.
And now the whole world gets to.
Stuff about me.
Stuff about my dad.
I'm sorry. I never meant for it to be published.
I started that journal to figure the shit out in my head.
They asked me to read it in group therapy, so I did.
And one thing just led to another.
You accidentally wrote a book.
I.
I didn't mean for this to happen this way.
No one wants to read this sick shit.
I thought that too.
But there's a bidding war for my book.
And that's why I'm in town.
You accidentally wrote a book
and then you shopped it around to publishers
without asking me?
Fuck, this never should have happened like this.
No, no. It shouldn't have.
Tess, I hated myself.
I had to deal with that every fucking day.
What is the point in everything we've been through if we can't
channel that into something that helps people?
I don't want people reading about my life and judging me.
It's not your life, Tess. It's our lives,
and it's a story about forgiveness
and unconditional love.
It doesn't matter about parents or addiction
or whatever fucked up past. It's never too late.
People can always change.
That is the kind of story "After" is.
"After"?
It's my journey after I met you.
I think that journey is over.
Yes.
I didn't think I'd ever come here.
I really thought that I had hit rock bottom
and then I'd hit it again harder and again and again,
and I burnt down a fucking house.
And, uh, I guess... I guess what I'm trying to say is
thank you all.
Because when I walked in that door,
I. I didn't know how this would go.
I didn't think it would work for me.
I never open up.
And somehow, you guys have found a way to make me,
and I'm grateful.
I mean this... This really helped a lot.
I'd recommend it to anyone.
I feel like I'm actually a better version of myself
and I haven't tried to better myself ever, really.
So thank you.
It's been so nice having you back in London.
Mm.
I have something for you.
Look at this.
Your name.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm so sorry.
Mum, it's fine. I've been going through so much.
No, but.
I didn't know what to do.
I was young, I was.
In love and I was terrified.
None of that excuses the fact
that I hid the truth from you for so long.
But.
Everything I did, every decision I made,
no matter how regrettable looking back, it was.
It was done out of love for you.
I know it was, Mum.
And thank you for saying that.
It's good, all right?
This is amazing.
Checkout took forever.
Yes. Yes. No, I'm on my way back now.
Sorry, yeah.
Yeah, I'll see you soon.
Hi. Look at you, so official.
Hi. You have to tell me everything.
Hasn't been that long.
I think it's just since Landon
basically moved in with Nora that.
You're starved for attention.
Mm. I thought it would be easier
making friends at school.
Yeah. The campus is pretty spread out, huh?
Yeah. And it's just by the time you figure out
where to meet and how to get there
on the subway and the buses,
it's like an hour to do anything.
Welcome to New York.
So I hope you like chicken Alfredo.
- Er. - What?
I should've mentioned this. I'm...
I'm actually doing the plant-based thing.
I don't know why I didn't ask.
I should have just asked.
No, no. You know, let's improvise.
You got any red sauce?
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - No, no, no.
Tessa. Tess. Hey. - I'm sorry.
Don't worry about it.
I'll order somethin' in.
Mm.
You wanna try?
What is it?
Tofu curry dumpling.
Is it spicy?
Not... not. just try it.
Okay.
- Yeah? - Mm.
It's not... it's not bad.
But.?
It's not good.
Oh, come on.
So one of my classmates invited us
to his girlfriend's gallery opening
- in the village tonight. - Mm-hm.
Do you wanna go?
Um, yeah. I mean, I'd love to but.
I've actually got this thing tonight.
Can we do it another time?
Yeah. Of course.
Okay.
So after she kicked me out,
I really felt that my entire world
was just crumbling around me.
I was afraid I was going to spiral.
I really had nothing going for me.
But then I got the call.
Dowless and Sons wanted the book to release immediately.
So, I picked up the phone and I called.
I called my therapist.
And I took a breath.
And I took the deal.
And here we are.
Anyway, I'll, uh, I'll stop blithering on,
and I'll actually read something.