You've reached Doug. Sorry I missed your call. 這是道格 很抱歉沒法接你的電話
Please leave a name and number and I'll get back to you. 請留下您的聯絡方式 我會回撥
Hi, you've reached Dr. Stuart Price with Divine Dentistry. 聖潔牙科診所 我是斯圖亞特?普萊斯醫生
Please leave a message after... 請聽到"嘟"一聲後留言...
Hey, this is Phil. 你好 我是菲爾
Leave me a message or don't. Do me a favor, don't text me. It's gay. 想留言就留 不過...幫我個忙 別給我發短訊 超娘
- Anything? TRACY: I tried them all. 怎麼樣? 都打過了
It keeps going straight to voicemail. 全轉到語音信箱了
Well, there has to be an explanation. 總得有個解釋吧
Sweetie, it's Vegas. You lose track of time in casinos. 親愛的 那是拉斯維加斯 在賭場裡沒人會記得時間
There's no windows, there's no clocks. He's probably on a heater. 那裡沒有窗戶 也沒有鍾 他可能正坐在暖氣上呢
And you never walk away from the table when you're on a heater. 坐在暖氣上的時候沒人願意離開賭桌
You do if you're getting married. 除非你馬上要結婚了
- Hello? - Ahem, Tracy, it's Phil. 喂? 特蕾西 我是菲爾
Phil, where the hell are you guys? 菲爾 你們究竟在哪?
I'm freaking out. 我都快抓狂了
Yeah, listen. 嗯...聽著...
Uh... 啊...
We fucked up. 我們現在一團糟
- What are you talking about? - The bachelor party, the whole night. It... 你在說什麼? 昨晚的告別單身派對...
Things got out of control, uh... 有點失控 然後...
...and we lost Doug. ...道格不見了
- What? - We can't find Doug. 什麼? 我們找不到道格
What are you saying, Phil? We're getting married in five hours. 你在說啥 菲爾? 我們五小時後就要結婚了
Yeah. 對
That's not gonna happen. 那永遠不會發生了...
片名:醉後大丈夫
MAN: To my left a little. 左邊一點
Thank you. 謝謝
Okey-dokey. 沒問題!!
- Whoa, watch it, pervert! - Alan, he's just doing your inseam. 嗨 小心點 變態! 艾倫 量一量而已
- He's getting very close to my shaft. - All done. You can change now. 他手離我小弟弟就一毫米了 好了 您可以換衣服了
Right. Thanks, Floyd. Thank you very much. 好 謝謝你 弗洛伊德 非常感謝
All right, buddy, we should get a move on. 行了 夥計 我們可以走了
You know, Doug, I was thinking... 其實...道格 我在想...
If you wanna go to Vegas without me, that is totally cool, you know? 你如果不帶我去拉斯維加斯 我絕對沒意見 你知道嗎?
What are you talking about? 你到底要說什麼
You know, Phil and Stu, they're your buddies, and it's your bachelor party. 你知道菲爾和斯圖是你的好朋友 這是你們的告別單身派對
Come on, Alan. Those two love you. 少來了 艾倫 他們都愛死你了
ALAN: And also, I don't want you to feel like you have to hold back... 我不希望你因為有小舅子在場...
...because your wife's brother's there. I just... 而放不開 我只是...
It's not like that. 不想那樣
It's not like that. I already told you, Alan. 沒這回事啦 我早告訴過你了 艾倫
Okay? We're just spending the night in Vegas. It's no big deal. 好吧?只不過在拉斯維加斯過一夜 沒什麼大不了的
Besides, you're not just my wife's brother, you're my brother now. 再說了 你不光是我小舅子 你現在是我兄弟了
I want you to know, Doug, I'm a steel trap. 你要知道 道格 我記性很好
Whatever happens tonight, I will never, ever, ever, speak a word of it. 但不管今晚發生什麼事 我永遠...永遠都不會提起一個字
Okay. Yeah, I got it. Thank you. I don't think that... 我知道 謝謝 我不覺得...
Seriously. I don't care what happens. 說真的 我不在乎發生什麼
- I don't care if we kill someone. - What? 就算殺人也無所謂 什麼?
You heard me. It's Sin City. 你聽到我說的 那可是罪惡之城
I won't tell a soul. 我會守口如瓶的
Okay. I got it. 好 我明白
- Thank you. No, thank you. 謝謝你 該我謝你才對
I love you so much. 愛死你了
- Ha. I knew it. - Dad. 哈...我知道了 爸
Oh, stop it, I'm just jerking around. 別搞了 我是開玩笑
Alan, put some pants on. You have weird legs. 艾倫 把褲子穿起來 你有雙奇怪的腿
Yes, Daddy. 是的 老爸
- His legs look fine, Dad. - Oh, please. 他的腿看起來很好啊爸 哦...幫幫忙
He has his mother's legs. It's just freaky. 他遺傳了他媽的腿...很畸形!
Alan, I'm just teasing. You have wonderful legs. 艾倫...我逗著你玩的 你的腿棒極了
They're better than your mother's. They're beautiful. 它們比你媽媽的腿還要棒 好美啊...
Can you believe this? Just two more days. 你相信嗎? 只剩兩天...
DOUG: I know. You getting nervous? 道格...我知道 你緊張嗎?
- You wanna back out? - Shut up. 你要退出嗎? 閉嘴!
Just tell me. Oh. Mm. 告訴我沒關係!
You know, I don't need to go to Vegas. It's dumb. 你知道的 我不必去拉斯維加斯 那很蠢
It's not dumb. It's one night. Have fun, you deserve it. 那一點不蠢...只有一晚 愉快點 你應該的
I know, but we should have gone last weekend. 我知道 但是我們上週末就該去的
We have so much to do. L... I'm gonna cancel. 我們有這麼多事要做 嗯...取消吧
My brother packed his bag two weeks ago. You're not canceling. 我兄弟兩周前就打包好了 你可不准取消
- Really? - Yeah. 真的? 嗯!
- Two weeks? - Yeah, he's excited. 兩周前? 對 他超興奮的.
Thanks again for bringing him, by the way. 對了 真感謝你願意讓他跟
You don't need to thank me, it's nothing. He's a cool guy. 你不必謝我 沒什麼... 他也很酷啊
It's not nothing and he's not a cool guy... 這不叫沒什麼 而且他一點也不酷
...so thank you. 真多謝!
Thank you. 謝謝
Hey, Sid. 嘿...席德
I just wanted to thank you guys again for everything you're doing this weekend. 我只是要再為這週末的一切 再感謝大夥一次
- We couldn't be more excited. - Ah, that's great. 我們真的好興奮 耶...真棒
Yeah, okay. You love us and we love you. Terrific. 好的 你愛我們 我們也愛你 太棒了!
So talk to me about Vegas. 跟我說說維加斯的事
- Uh... It should be pretty mellow. - Mm-hm. 嗯...那該是很快樂的事
Do some gambling, maybe catch some rays, have a few laughs. 小賭一番 做做日光浴盡情歡笑
Yeah, some laughs. I got you. 嗯...歡笑...我懂了
How you getting out there? 你要怎麼去?
Uh, we're gonna take my car. Gonna pick up my friends after this. 嗯 打算開我的車 等會去載我朋友...
- Prius? You're taking a Prius to Vegas? - Yeah. Prius? 你打算開一台 Prius 去維加斯? 對啊
You know, when you go to Vegas... 你知道... 當你到賭城...
...you gotta go to Vegas. ...你必須要去維加斯
DOUG: No. Sid. 不... 席德...
- Really? SID: Come on, we're family now. 真的嗎?? 得了 我們現在是一家人啦!
- You sure? I mean, you love this car. - Doug, it's just a car. 你確定? 你可是很喜歡這輛車的 這只不過是輛車罷 道格
Just make sure to put some Armor All on the tires so the sand doesn't seep in. 記得給輪胎裝上防護免得進沙就好了
Absolutely. That's easy. 沒問題 那簡單
Oh, and, uh, don't let Alan drive, because there's something wrong with him. 噢...對了 別讓艾倫開車...因為這小子有點問題
DOUG: Understood. 瞭解
Oh, and Phil either. I don't like him. 還有 也別讓菲爾開 我不喜歡他
I will be the only one driving this car. I promise. 我保證就我一人開
Good. 很好
Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. 記住把回憶留在拉斯維加斯就好了
Ah!
皰疹除外 那個髒東西會跟你回來
Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.
好的 等等 我還需要一些核准回條
All right. Hold on. I still need some of your permission slips...
...and $90 for the field trip to the Griffith Observatory next weekend. 以及收90塊錢準備下周去葛瑞菲斯天文台的郊遊
Pay now, or forever regret missing out on the experience of a lifetime, guys. 現在不交以後會後悔一輩子 夥計們
You're good, you got it. 你做得很好
STUDENT: Thanks, Mr. Wenneck. PHIL: Thank you. Hey. 謝謝你 溫內克先生 謝謝你
You really came through, thank you. 你真的辦到了... 謝謝你
Whoa, Max. What gives? What, no planetarium? 噢...麥斯...什麼情況 什麼...不去天文台?
My mom won't give me the money. I'm grounded. 我媽不給我錢 我被禁足了
- Well, how much you got on you? - I don't know. 嗯 那你有多少錢 我不知道
Like, 20 bucks. 差不多20塊
Well, give me the 20 and I'll cover the rest. 好吧... 給我那20 其他我來想辦法
- Really? - Yeah. Well, we'll talk about it. 真的? 嗯...之後再說
But give me the 20 so I know you're serious. 20塊給我...我才知道你是來真的
- Cool. Thanks, Mr. Wenneck. - Yeah. 謝謝! 溫內克先生
STUDENT: Hold on, I got it. 等下 我明白了
Ahem, do you have to park so close? 你非得停這麼近嗎?
- Yeah. What's wrong? - I shouldn't be here. 怎麼了? 我不該來這裡
Why is that, Alan? 為什麼 艾倫?
I'm not supposed to be within 200 feet of a school. 我不能靠近學校周圍200英尺
- What? - Or a Chuck E. Cheese. 什麼? 或 查克奶酪店
BUDNICK: Mr. Wenneck, I was... - It's the weekend. 溫內克先生 我... 週末了
I don't know you. You do not exist. 我不認識你 你不存在
- Shit. DOUG: Heh, heh, heh. X的
- Nice car. DOUG: Yeah. 車不錯啊嗯
- I'm driving. DOUG: Whoa, no chance, buddy... 我來開 沒你的份 夥計...
Don't step... God. Watch the leath... 別踩... 天 小心皮椅...
Shut up and drive before these nerds ask me another question. 閉嘴 趕緊開車 要不那幫書獃子又要來問問題了
- Animal. - Who's this? 野獸 這是誰?
- It's Alan. Tracy's brother. - I met you, like, four times. 艾倫 特蕾西的弟弟 我見過你應該有四次了吧
Oh, yeah. How you doing, man? 噢...對 最近好嗎...
MELISSA: Don't forget your Rogaine. 別忘了落健
STU: Rogaine, check. 落健...帶了
And don't forget to use it. 還有別忘了要用
I can totally tell when you forget, your hair just looks thinner. 你要是沒用我絕對會發現 因為頭髮看起來會很稀疏
Using of the Rogaine, check. 要用落健...收到
Make sure to call me right when you get to the hotel... 記得一到飯店就打給我...
...not like that conference in Phoenix. ...別像上次在鳳凰城開會那樣
I had to wait two hours for you to call me. 那次我等了兩小時你才來電
Yeah, I was the keynote speaker. I was late to the podium. 那次我要做主題演講 到講台時都晚了
- Still? - Yeah, you're totally right. I'm sorry. 還狡辯? 你完全正確 很抱歉
- What is the matter? MELISSA: I don't know. 怎麼了? 不知道
I hope you're not gonna go to some strip club when you're up there. 到那裡可打算去什麼脫衣舞俱樂部
STU: Melissa, we're going to Napa Valley. 梅麗莎 我們是去納帕谷
I don't even think they have strip clubs in wine country. 那裡只有酒 哪會有什麼脫衣舞俱樂部
Well, I'm sure if there is one, Phil will sniff it out. 哼 要有的話 菲爾一定能嗅得到
[SIGHS] 不是你想的那樣
It's not gonna be like that.
Besides, you know how I feel about that. 何況...你知道我對那種事的感覺
I know, I know. It's just boys and their bachelor parties, it's gross. 我知道 就是你們這些臭男人搞的什麼告別單身派對...真惡
You're right, it is gross. Mm-mm. 沒錯 是噁心
And you know what else, honestly? 還有你知道嗎...說真的
Why would I risk this for, you know, a couple of minutes... 為什麼我要冒這個險? 短短幾分鐘...
...of some 19-year-old hard body in a schoolgirl outfit? 穿著學校制服的19歲的火熱胴體...
- Yeah. - Why would I ever need, like... 嗯 我憑什麼要...
- You're right. And if you ever do... - What? 你說對了 如果你真的做了... 你說什麼?
...I will fucking kick your ass. ...我會給你好看!
Thank you. Thank you for that. 謝謝你! 真感謝!
That is exactly what I needed to hear. 這就是我要聽的
Not to mention it's pathetic. 更別說你們真是可悲
Those places are filthy. And the worst part is... 那種地方真是骯髒 最槽糕的是...
...that little girl... 那些小女孩...
...grinding and dry humping the fucking stage up there... 那些在台上他X的蹭來蹭去的女孩子...
...that's somebody's daughter up there. - I was just gonna say that. ...她們也是別人的寶貝女兒啊我也正想說
See? I just wish your friends were as mature as you. 看吧...真希望你那些朋友能像你這麼成熟
They are mature, actually. You just have to get to know them better. 他們很成熟 你只是需要進一步瞭解他們
PHIL: Paging Dr. Faggot. 呼叫 變態醫生
Dr. Faggot! 變態醫生!
- I should go. - That's a good idea, Dr. Faggot. 我得走了 好主意 變態醫生
Have a good weekend. I'm gonna miss you. 週末愉快 我會想你的.
Whoo! 嗚!!
Road trip! 上路啦!
[SCREAMS] 拉斯維加斯!拉斯維加斯 寶貝!
Vegas! Vegas, baby!
Vegas! 維加斯!!!
你瘋了
You're nuts!
Come on, just till Barstow. Everybody's passing us. 快點 才到巴斯托 你看我們一直被超車
Absolutely not. I promised Sid. I will be the only one driving this car. 絕對不行 我答應過席德了 只有我能開這輛車
Besides, you're drinking. 再說 你喝了酒
Oh, what are you, a cop now? You know I drive great when I'm drunk. 怎麼了 你現在是條子了? 你知道我喝醉的時候開得最好了
True. Don't forget, Phil was always our designated drunk driver. 沒錯 別忘了 菲爾可是我們御用的醉駕駛
Yeah. You wanna explain it to them, Alan? 要不要跟他們解釋一下 艾倫?
Guys, my dad loves this car more than he loves me, so, yeah. 夥計們 我爸愛這輛車勝過愛我 所以 嗯
Aw, whatever. I left my wife and kid at home so I could go with you guys. 隨便啦 我都把老婆孩子扔家裡來陪你們了
- You know how difficult that was? - That's really sweet. 知道這有多難嗎? 你人真好
- Yeah. - Dude, I was being sarcastic. 是吧 別傻了 我說反話呢
I fucking hate my life. 我恨我的生活!
- I may never go back. I might stay in Vegas. - Here we go. 我想我可能會呆在拉斯維加斯不回去了 又來了
Doug, enjoy yourself, because come Sunday... 道格...盡情享樂 因為週日開始...
...you're gonna start dying just a little bit every day. 你會一天天地漸漸死去...
Yeah. That's why I've managed to stay single this whole time, you know? 沒錯 你知道嗎...我打算打一輩子光棍
- Oh, really? That's why you're single? - Yeah. 真的?是因為這樣你才單身? 沒錯
Cool. Good to know. 酷...多謝告知
- Am I all right over there, Alan? - Yeah, you're good. 我開的還穩吧 艾倫 嗯 還行
噢...老天
DOUG: Aw, Jesus Christ!
- Oh, my God! - That was awesome! 噢 天吶! 太棒了!
That was not awesome. What's wrong with you? 棒什麼棒 你是怎麼搞的
- That was insane. We almost just died. - You should have seen your face. 太瘋狂了 差點沒命了 你不知你剛剛臉上的表情
- Classic. - That's funny. Ha-ha. 太經典了 真搞笑 哈哈
It's not funny. 一點不好笑
《21點寶典》
- Boy, you've got a sweet ride there. - Don't touch it. 哥們 車不錯啊別碰
Don't even look at it. Go on, get out. 也別看 走開
You heard me. Don't look at me, either. 你聽到啦 也別盯著我
Yeah, you better walk on. 對 你最好走遠點
- He's actually kind of funny. - Yeah, he means well. 他還真有意思 嗯 他是好意
ALAN: I'll hit an old man in public. 別以為我不敢公共場合打老人
Is he all there? Like, mentally? 他這裡沒問題吧?我是說精神上?
I think so. He's just an odd guy. You know, he's kind of weird. 應該還好 只是性格有點怪而已
- I mean, should we be worried? - No. 用不著擔心他吧? 不用
- All right. - No. 好吧 用不著
Tracy did mention that we shouldn't let him gamble. 特蕾西倒說過別讓他賭博
Or drink too much. 或者喝太多酒
Jesus, he's like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and shit. 上帝 他看起來真是個精明的小鬼
STU: And one water. 再來一瓶水
- All good with Melissa? - Oh, yeah. 和梅麗莎還好吧? 噢 還好
Told her we're two hours outside of wine country, and she bought it. 跟她說我們離酒鄉還有兩小時車程 她居然信了
You think it's strange you've been in a relationship for years... 你們拍拖幾年了...
...and you have to lie about Vegas? 還要為去拉斯維加斯撒謊 不覺得奇怪
Yeah, I do. But trust me, it's not worth the fight. 是有點 不過沒必要因此吵架
Oh, so you can't go to Vegas but she can fuck a bellhop on a Carnival Cruise Line? 這麼說來 你不能去拉斯維加斯... 但她卻能和嘉年華郵輪上的服務生做愛?
Hey. 嘿
Okay, first of all, he was a bartender. 首先呢 他是個酒保
And she was wasted. 而她喝掛了
And, if you must know, he didn't even come inside her. 如果你們還想知道細節 他根本就還沒進入她的身體
And you believe that? 你竟然相信了?
Uh, yeah, I do believe that, because she's grossed out by semen. 沒錯 我信 因為她對精液反感
That'll be 32.50. 一共是 32.50.
It's 32.50, you gonna pay for it? 32塊5 你來付錢?
It says here we should work in teams. Who wants to be my spotter? 書上說我們要組隊 誰做我搭檔?
I don't think you should be doing too much gambling tonight, Alan. 我想你今晚還是少賭博 艾倫
Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? 賭博? 誰說要賭博了?
It's not gambling when you know you're gonna win. 如果你確定能贏 就不叫賭博
Counting cards is a foolproof system. 算牌可是萬全之策
It's also illegal. 但也是非法的
It's not illegal, it's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane. 這不是非法的 只是不大好而已 就像在飛機上打手槍一樣
我想那應該也是非法的
I'm pretty sure that's illegal too.
Yeah, maybe after 9/11, where everybody got so sensitive. 也許吧 911以後大家都變得神經兮兮的
Thanks a lot, Bin Laden. 多謝了 賓拉登
Either way, you gotta be super smart to count cards, buddy, okay? 再說 算牌是聰明人才有辦法的 對吧?
ALAN: Oh, really? - It's not easy. 噢 是嗎? 沒那麼簡單的
Well maybe we should tell that to Rain Man... 也許你得跟雨人去說
...because he practically bankrupted a casino, and he was a retard. ...因為他這個智障差點搞垮了一家賭場
What? 什麼?
He was a retard. 他是個智障?
Retard. 智障
PHIL: Here we go. 又來了
WOMAN: Hi, welcome to Caesars. 你好 歡迎來到凱撒
STU: Hello. WOMAN: Checking in? 要登記住宿嗎?
Yeah. We have a reservation under Dr. Price. 是的 預約的是普萊斯醫生
LISA: Okay, let me look that up for you. 好的 我看一下
Dr. Price? 普萊斯醫生?
Stu, you're a dentist, okay? Don't try and get fancy. 斯圖 你只是個牙醫吧? 別搞笑了
- It's not fancy if it's true. - He's a dentist. Don't get too excited. 這是事實 沒什麼搞笑的 他只是個牙醫 別太激動
And if, uh, someone has a heart attack, you should still call 911. 要是有人突發心臟病還是得打 911
We'll be sure to do that. 這個我們知道
Can I ask you a question? Do you know if the hotel's pager-friendly? 能問個問題嗎? 你們這裡能用呼叫器嗎?
- What do you mean? - I'm not getting a sig on my beeper. 您是什麼意思 我的呼叫機收不到信號
- I'm not sure. ALAN: Is there a payphone bank? 這我不大確定 那有沒有付費電話銀行?
Bunch of payphones? Business. 就是有很多付費電話的商店
Um, there's a phone in your room. 噢 您房間裡有電話的
That'll work. 那也行
So I have you in a two-bedroom suite on the 12th floor, is that okay? 那我給幾位安排到12樓的雙床套房好嗎?
It sounds perfect. 聽起來很棒
Actually, I was wondering if you had any villas. 不過我想知道一下 你們有總統套房嗎?
- We're not even gonna be in the room. - It's unnecessary. 我們又不呆在房間裡 根本沒必要
No big deal. We can share beds. It's one night. 沒什麼大不了的 擠一擠嘛 就一個晚上
If we're share beds, I'm bunking with Phil. 如果一起睡的話 我要跟菲爾
- You good with that? - No, I'm not. 你願意嗎? 不
Guys, we are not sharing beds. What are we, 12 years old? 夥計們 我們又不是12歲 為什麼要並床睡?
Lisa, I apologize. How much is the villa? 對不起 麗莎 總統套間房多少錢一晚?
Well, we have one villa available, and it's 4200 for the night. 我們還有一個總統套房4200 一晚
- Is it awesome? - It's pretty awesome. 很不錯吧? 真棒
- We'll take it. Give her your credit card. - I can't give her my credit card. 那我們要了 給她你的信用卡 我才不給呢
- We'll split it. - Are you crazy? No, this is on us. 大家平分 你瘋啦! 不行 我們出
You don't get it. Melissa checks my statements. 你不明白 梅麗莎會查我消費明細
We just need a credit card on file. 我們只是需要預先授權
We won't charge you until check out, so you can figure it out then. 退房前不會扣款的 到時候你們可以再商量
That's perfect. Thank you, Lisa. We'll deal with it tomorrow. Come on. 那太好了 謝謝你 麗莎 這事我們明天再說 趕快!
Fine. 好吧
- Can I ask you another question? LISA: Sure. 能再問個問題嗎? 當然可以
You probably get this a lot. 也許你被問過很多遍了
This isn't the real Caesars Palace, is it? 這不是真正的凱撒皇宮 對吧?
What do you mean? 您的意思是?
Did, uh... 嗯...
- Did Caesar live here? - Um, no. 凱撒大帝沒在這裡住過吧? 噢 沒有
I didn't think so. 我想也是
STU: Holy shit. 我的天!!
看 這就是拉斯維加斯
PHIL: Now, this is Vegas.
DOUG: Oh, my... This place is enormous. 噢...天啊這真是太豪華了
PHIL: Now we're talking. 這才像話
Is this all one suite? 這全部都是我們的?
Thank you, guys. 謝謝大家
Or should I say, "Thank you, Stu"? 或我是不是該說 "謝謝你 斯圖"?
You're welcome. It's only because I love you. 不客氣 因為我愛你
Hey, guys. Look, free almonds. 嘿...你看 免費的杏仁
- Oh, no, no, no. Please put those back. - Wait, I'm just hungry. 不不 請放回去 等等...我好餓
- Well, I know, but... - Stu, what the fuck? 我知道 斯圖 搞什麼...
It's a pressure-sensitive plate. When you pick it up, you have 30 seconds to put it back... 這是個重量感應盤子 當你拿起來後只有30秒可以放回去
...or they bill you. ALAN: That's pretty neat. 不然飯店就會開始算錢 噢...這麼行?
STU: It may be neat, but it's also very expensive, so... 對啊這很貴...
Those almonds are probably, like, $14. 這些杏仁大概要14塊
Stu, relax. 斯圖 放輕鬆
Phil, Melissa is like a forensic accountant, okay? 菲爾...梅麗莎像個專業會計師 好嗎!!
She scours my statements. If you want nuts... 他會看我的明細 如果你想吃果仁...
...put your own credit card down. - Watch this. 用你自己的信用卡 看這裡
Problem solved. Alan, enjoy your almonds. 問題解決啦 艾倫 享用你的杏仁吧
I don't want them. He ruined it. 我不想吃 全被他毀了
All right, let's pick a room, let's get dressed. Be ready in 30 minutes. 好吧 大家挑自己的房間 換好衣服 半小時後見
I just wish you could see this place, because you, of all people, would love it. 真希望你能來看看 不管是誰都會愛上這裡的
Yeah. No, it's so quaint. 是啊不 這裡太古典了
Yeah, no, there's no TVs, no phones. 是啊沒電視 也沒電話
They just have these cute little antique radios in all the rooms. 房間裡只有可愛的老式收音機
Yeah. 嗯
What else? Um... 還有什麼?呃...
We met the, uh, proprietor. 我們剛見過...業主
- Oh, I bet you... STU: What's his name? 噢 我賭你... 他叫什麼?
Um, Caesar. Palac眤. 嗯 凱撒?帕拉提
Yeah, like the salad. 沒錯 聽起來像沙拉
Okay. Well, listen, I gotta go, because we're gonna hit this wine tasting. 我得走了 要去品酒了
Wait, wait. I love you. Okay. Bye. 等等 我愛你 好 再見
I'm not even gonna say anything, it's so embarrassing. 我什麼也不說 太尷尬了
- Where's Alan? - He, uh, he went downstairs. 艾倫人呢? 噢 他下樓去了
He said he had to grab a few things. 說要去吃點東西
Good, because I have something to show you. 很好 因為我要給你們看個東西
DOUG: Uh-Oh. 哇
- What the hell is that? STU: What do you think? 這是什麼東東? 你說呢?
If it's what I think it is, I think it's a big fucking mistake. 要是我沒看錯的話 你這下可犯大錯了
I'm gonna propose to Melissa at your wedding. After the ceremony. 我要在你的婚禮上向梅麗莎求婚 就在儀式之後
- Stuey, congratulations! - Thank you, Doug. 恭喜你 斯圖! 謝謝 道格
- That's a beautiful ring. - Yeah. It's my grandmother's. 真漂亮的戒指 是啊原來是我祖母的
She made it all the way through the Holocaust with that thing. 她戴著她從大屠殺中倖存
Wait, have you not listened to anything I have ever said? 等等 我的話你都沒在聽嗎?
Phil, we've been dating for three years. It's time. This is how it works. 菲爾 我們都交往三年了 是時候了
A, that is bullshit. And B, she is a complete bitch. 首先 這些都是狗屁 其次 她根本是個賤人
Hey, that's his fiance. 嘿 你說的可是她未婚妻 Hey, that's his fiance.
What? It's true. It's true. You know it's true. She beats him. 什麼?你知道我說的是實話 她居然打他
That was twice, and I was out of line. 兩次而已 而且我的確太過分了
She's strong-willed. And I respect that. 她意志堅強我一直很尊敬她
Wow. Wow. 哇
He's in denial. Not to mention, she fucked a sailor. 又開始為她辯護 別忘了她還搞過那個水手
DOUG: Hey, he wasn't a sailor. 他不是水手
He was a bartender on a cruise ship. You know that. 他是郵輪上的酒保 你知道的
Guys, I'm standing right here. So I can hear everything that you're saying. 哥們 別忘了我還在這裡 都聽著呢
Hey, guys. You ready to let the dogs out? 哥們 準備放狗出籠了嗎?
- What? - Do what? 什麼? 幹嘛?
ALAN: Let the dogs out. You know. 放狗出籠啊
Who brought this guy? 誰帶這傢伙來的?
DOUG: Yes, Alan, we are ready to let the dogs out. 沒錯艾倫 我們準備放狗出籠了
- Hey, congrats. - Thank you. 恭喜你 謝謝
I love this fucking town. 我愛死這地方了
- You're not really wearing that, are you? - Wearing what? 你不會真戴著這個吧? 什麼?
The man-purse. 男款錢包
You're actually gonna wear that or are you guys fucking with me? 你也太搞笑了吧 帶這個?
It's where I keep all my things. I get a lot of compliments on this. 我東西都放裡面 很多人都用的
Plus, it's not a man-purse. It's called a satchel. 況且 這不是什麼男款錢包 這叫肩包
Indiana Jones wears one. 印第安納?瓊斯也有一個
So does Joy Behar. 還有喬伊?比哈爾
- We're going up, guys. - Yeah, that's perfect. 我們往上 夥計們 正好
STU: Really? 真的?
We're going up? 我們也往上?
I'm just saying, it's clearly marked, okay? 這裡寫得很清楚啊
We are definitely not supposed to be up here. 我們不能上來這裡的
Come on, we're paying for a villa. We can do whatever the fuck we want. 別管那個 住總統套房的就是老大 想幹啥就幹啥
- Yeah, but... - Just wedge the door open. 那倒是 不過... 把門撐住
- Guys, come on up here. - Fine. 上來 夥計們 好吧
DOUG: How the hell did you find this place? 你他媽怎麼找到這地方的?
Don't worry about it. 這你別管
Oh! 噢
- You all right? - Yeah. 沒事吧? 嗯
- Look at the view up here. - You happy? 看看這裡的景色 喜歡吧?
- This is great. - Whoa! 太讚了! 哇!
[PHIL CHUCKLES] 不是做夢吧?
Are you kidding? 怎麼樣 艾倫? 很好
PHIL: Alan, how we doing, buddy? - Good.
DOUG: What do you got over there, Alan? STU: That's the Eiffel Tower. 你在那幹嘛 艾倫? 那是艾菲爾鐵塔
Uh-oh. 噢
- Right? - A little J?germeister. 沒錯吧? 來點野格利口酒.
- Good idea. - There it is. Good call. 好主意 給你... 選得好
On the roof. 在樓頂上
Um, no, this is good. I'd like to make a toast. 不錯 我想要敬個酒
To Doug and Tracy. 敬道格和特蕾西
May tonight be... 願今晚成為...
...but a minor speed bump... 你倆長久且幸福婚姻之前...
...in an otherwise very long and healthy marriage. 一個美妙的緩衝
- Cheers. - Cheers. 乾杯 乾杯
Short and sweet. 一小口烈酒
DOUG: Oh, it's like college. 就像大學那時候
- All right. I wanna talk about something. DOUG: All right. 好吧 我也發表一下 好
- I want to... ALAN: I'd like to... 我要... 我想...
I'd like to say something... 我想說一些話...
...that I prepared... 在這樣的夜晚...
...tonight. - All right, Alan. 我準備了一些話想說 好吧 艾倫
"Hello. 你好
How about that ride in? 剛才的進場方式如何?
I guess that's why they call it Sin City. 我想這裡就是因為這樣被稱為罪惡之城
[ALAN CHUCKLES]
You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. 也許你們不知道 我這個人其實是個獨行者
I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. 我總把自己想成是一個人的狼群
But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. 但當我姐姐帶道格回家之後 我就感應到我們是同類
And my wolf pack, it grew by one. 我的狼群 從此多了一人
So were there two... So there were two of us in the wolf pack. 這樣... 我得狼群裡就有了兩匹狼
I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. 一開始我孤身一人 後來道格加入了
And six months ago... 六個月之前呢...
...when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought: 當道格把我介紹給你們 我想:
'Wait a second. Could it be? ' And now, I know for sure. "等等 會嗎?" 但現在我很確定了
I just added two more guys to my wolf pack." 我的狼群又多了兩個人
- All right. - All right. 不錯 很好
ALAN: "Four of us wolves... 我們四匹狼...
...running around the desert together in Las Vegas... 在拉斯維加斯的荒漠上一同奔跑
...looking for strippers and cocaine." 尋找脫衣女郎和古柯鹼
So tonight... 所以今晚...
...I make a toast. - Whoa. 我想敬酒
- What...? - What do you got there? 什麼? 你帶什麼來了?
PHIL: Dude, what the fuck? DOUG: What the hell are you doing? 老哥 開什麼玩笑? 你他媽的要幹嘛!
[ALAN GROANS]
- What is that? - Blood brothers. 這是幹嘛? 歃血兄弟
- Don't... Why did you...? - Damn it. 別...你幹嘛...? 靠
- Here. - Alan... 給你 艾倫...
- No. - No, I'm not doing that. 不 我不幹
ALAN: Go ahead, Stuart. - Make him stop. 來吧 斯圖亞特 攔住他
Alan, we're not gonna cut ourselves. Give me the knife. 艾倫 我們才不會自殘 把刀給我
Slowly. Thank you. Okay. Thank you very much. 慢慢來 好的 非常感謝
PHIL: You all right? Are you okay? ALAN: Mm-hm. 你沒事吧? 嗯...
- Do you need a doctor? - He's good. 要不要叫醫生? 他沒事
PHIL: You sure? ALAN: I'm good. 你確定? 我很好
All right, good, because I need everybody to focus. 很好 棒極了 因為我需要大家全神貫注
I wanna take a moment, I wanna talk about some... I wanna talk about memory. 我需要一下子 我要談談回憶
No, better yet, I wanna talk about selective memory. 不 我要談談選擇性的回憶
You see, whatever happens here tonight may as well never have happened at all... 你知道 不論今晚發生什麼 也許就像沒發生過
...because this circle's about as far as it's ever gonna go. 因為這個圓圈不會再擴大了
In other words, forget everything. 換句話說... 把所有事全部忘記
[CHUCKLES] 道格... 說真的 我有老婆小孩了
Doug, I'm serious. I got a wife and kid.
Okay, good or bad, we don't remember so we got nothing to talk about. ok 不論好壞 我們全都遺忘 所以我們沒有任何好說的
Nothing, guys. Nothing. 沒事...大伙來...沒事
Deal? 一言為定
- Deal. STU: Deal. 一言為定 一言為定
- Perfect. Alan, come here, buddy. STU: Get in here, crazy. 太好了 艾倫 來這 快過來 瘋子
All right, to a night we'll never remember... 好吧! 敬這個將被遺忘之夜
...but the four of us will never forget. 但我們四個永遠難忘的夜
STU: There it is. PHIL: Hear, hear. 來 干了
DOUG: Hey, thanks, guys. 謝謝大家
[GRUNTS & GROANS]
[ALAN GRUNTS]
[GROWLING]
Hm. 嗯...
Stupid tiger. 傻老虎
[GASPS]
[TIGER ROARS]
[ALAN AND PHIL GRUNT] 搞什麼?
PHIL: What the fuck?
Control yourself, man. Goddamn, will you put on some pants? 冷靜點 老哥 穿條褲子好不好?
- Phil, do not go in the bathroom. - AI, just calm down. It's me. 別去洗手間 菲爾 是我 別緊張
Phil, there is a tiger in the bathroom. 菲爾 洗手間裡面有隻老虎
- What's going on? - There's a jungle cat in the bathroom! 發生什麼事? 廁所裡有只叢林大貓!
- Okay, okay, Al. Al, I'll check it out. ALAN: Don't go in. 得了 艾倫 我去看看 別進去
Don't go in, don't go in. Be careful. Don't, don't. 別進去 小心 別進去!!!!!!!!
[TIGER GROWLS] 哇靠!他說真的 看見沒!!!!
- Oh! Holy fuck! He's not kidding. ALAN: See? See?
- There's a tiger in there. - No, there isn't. 裡面有隻老虎 不!! 不可能
Yeah! 耶
- It's big. Gigantic. - You okay, buddy? 好大一隻 你沒事吧? 夥計?
No. I am in so much pain right now. 不 我現在很難受
Goddamn. Look at this place. 天啊看看這地方
Whew. 我知道 菲爾 我信用卡還在樓下呢 這下完了
I know. Phil, they have my credit card downstairs. I am so screwed.
How does a tiger get in the bathroom? It almost killed me. 這老虎怎麼進來廁所的? 差點沒吃了我
Hey, bro? You mind putting on some pants? 老兄 穿條褲子可以嗎?
I find it a little weird I have to ask twice. 我覺得很奇怪 同樣的話...我得說兩次
ALAN: Pants at a time like this? I don't have any p... 現在還說什麼穿褲子? 我沒穿...
What the fuck happened last night? 昨晚到底他X的發生什麼事?
Hey, Phil, am I missing a tooth? 菲爾 我是不是少了一顆牙?
I can't... Oh, shit. 我不能...哇靠
Oh, my God. 天吶
My lateral incisor's... It's gone! 我的側面門牙...沒了!
It's okay. Okay, okay. Just calm down. We're fine. Everything's fine. 沒事 冷靜點 沒怎樣 一切都很完美
Alan, go wake up Doug. 艾倫 去叫醒道格
Let's get some coffee and get the fuck out of Nevada before housekeeping shows. 先喝點咖啡 然後在清理房間人員發現之前 趕緊從離開內華達州
What am I gonna tell Melissa? I lost a tooth. I have no idea how it happened. 我該怎麼跟梅麗莎說?我缺了顆牙 我都不知道發生什麼事
You're freaking me out, man. 你嚇到我了
I got a massive headache, okay? Let's just calm down. 我頭好痛 行了吧? 大家都冷靜冷靜
How am I supposed to calm down? Look around you. 我他X的怎麼冷靜下來? 你看看四周
- Hey, guys, he's not in there. - Did you check all the rooms? 哥們 他不在 所有房間都看過了嗎?
Yeah, I looked everywhere. Plus, his mattress is gone. 都找過了 還有 他的床墊也不見了
He probably went to the pool to get something to eat. 他也許到游泳池邊去吃點東西
I'll just call his cell. 打他行動電話看看
I look like a nerdy hillbilly. 我看起來像個傻呼呼的鄉巴佬
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
- Hello? - Alan. 喂? 艾倫
Hey.
- It's Phil. - Oh, hey, Phi... 我是菲爾 噢 你好 菲爾...
This is Doug's phone. This is Doug's phone. 這是道格的電話 這是道格的電話
PHIL: No shit. - Yeah. 我靠...
[BABY CRYING]
What the fuck is that? 這他X的又是什麼?
Whose fucking baby is that? 他X的誰家的嬰兒?
Alan, are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite? 艾倫 你確定這套房裡都沒人了?
Yeah, I checked all the rooms. No one's here. 嗯 所有房間都找過了 都沒人
Check its collar or something. 看看他領子上有沒有什麼
Shh. Shh.
- It's okay, baby. - Stu, we don't have time for this. 沒事了 寶貝 斯圖 沒時間搞這個了
Let's go hook up with Doug, we'll deal with the baby later. 我們先去和道格碰頭 然後再處理這小孩
Phil, we're not gonna leave a baby in the room. 菲爾 我們不能把小孩留在房裡
- There's a fucking tiger in the bathroom. - It's not our baby. 廁所裡面還他X的有隻老虎 又不是我們的小孩
Yeah, I gotta side with Stu on this one. 沒錯 這次我同意斯圖
All right, fine. Okay, we'll take it with us. 好吧 好吧 那我們帶著他
Could you at least just find some pants? 你就不能至少穿條褲子?
Why can't we remember a goddamn thing from last night? 為什麼昨晚的事我們一點都記不得了?
Because we obviously had a great fucking time. 因為顯然昨晚我們high過頭了
Why don't you just stop worrying for one minute? 你就不能少擔心一分鐘
Be proud of yourself. 你應該覺得驕傲才對
I don't know, Phil. Maybe it's because I'm missing a tooth. 我不知道耶 菲爾 也許是因為我掉了顆牙
Or maybe it's because there's a tiger in our hotel room... 或許是因為有隻老虎在我們套房廁所裡
...which, incidentally, is completely destroyed. 要把我們徹底的幹掉
Oh, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, I know. 等等...我知道
Maybe it's because we found a baby, a human baby. 也許是因為我們發現一個人類嬰兒
That's it. That's it. 對...對...
It's because we found a fucking baby. 就是因為我們發現了一個他X的嬰兒
- You shouldn't curse around the child. - Really? You shouldn't be around a child. 你不應該咒罵小孩 真的嗎 你旁邊不應該有小孩
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
Oh, how cute. What's his name? 真可愛 什麼名字?
- Ben. - Carlos. 本 卡洛斯
Carlos? 卡洛斯?
Thank you. 謝謝
Hey, Phil, look. 看吶 菲爾
[ALAN LAUGHING]
He's jacking his little weenis. 他在玩小雞雞
- Pull yourself together, man. - Not at the table, Carlos. 打起精神來 夥計 別在桌邊亂搞 卡洛斯
[ALAN & PHIL CHUCKLE]
I looked everywhere. 我到處都找遍了
Gym, casino, front desk. Nobody's seen Doug. He's not here. 健身房賭場還有前? 沒人見過道格 他不在這裡
He's fine. He's a grown man. 他沒事的 他是成年人
Seriously, Stu, you gotta calm down. Here, have some juice. 說真的 你冷靜點...斯圖 來喝點果汁
I can't have juice right now. 我現在喝不下
Okay. All right. Let's just track this thing. 好吧 我們來回想一下
[PHIL COUGHS] 你們最後記得的是什麼事情?
What's the last thing we remember doing last night?
Well, the first thing was we were on the roof... 一開始呢 我們在頂樓
...and were having those shots of J?ger. ...在喝野格酒 ...and were having those shots of J盲ger.
[RETCHES & COUGHS]
And then we ate dinner at The Palm. Right? 然後我們去棕櫚酒店吃晚飯 對吧?
That's right. 沒錯
And then we played craps at the Hard Rock, and I think Doug was there. 然後我們在硬石搖滾餐廳玩骰子 道格那時候應該還在
That sounds right. No, no. He definitely was. 好像是這樣 不 不是好像 他肯定在
You know what, guys? I don't even remember going to dinner. 知道嗎... 我連晚飯吃了都不記得了
What the fuck? I don't think I've ever been this hung-over. X的 我都不記得來過這裡
After the Hard Rock, I blacked out. It was like emptiness. 硬石搖滾餐廳之後 我就沒記憶了 就像一片空白
[LAUGHS]
Okay. We have up until 10 p. M... 好 現在回憶到晚上十點...
...so that gives us a 12-hour window where we could have lost him. 那他應該是在這之後的12個小時失蹤的
ALAN: What is this? - Oh, my God. That is my tooth. 這是什?? 靠我的牙!!
Why do you have that? What else is in your pockets? 怎麼會在你那裡? 你口袋裡還有什麼?
This is a good thing. No. Check your pockets. Check your pockets. 有發現是件好事 快看看口袋
Do you have anything? 有新發現嗎?
I have an ATM receipt from the Bellagio. 有一張百樂吉賭場的提款機收據
Eleven-oh-five for $800! I am so fucked. 十一點五分 八百塊! 這下槽了
I have a valet ticket from Caesars. Looks like we got in at 5:15 a.m. 我這裡有一張凱撒的罰單 看樣子我們是5點15進去的
Oh, shit. We drove last night? 靠昨晚我們開車了?
[ALAN LAUGHS] 酒駕 太經典了
Driving drunk. Classic.
[LAUGHS]
What's on your arm? 你手上是什麼?
- What the fuck is that? - Jesus, Phil. 這他X的什麼東西? 天 菲爾
- You were in the hospital last night. - I guess so, yeah. 你昨晚進醫院了 我猜也是
- You okay? - Yeah, Alan. I'm fine. 你沒事吧? 我沒事 艾倫
What the hell is going on? 到底他X的發生什麼事?
Well, Stu, Stu, this is a good thing. We have a lead now. 這是好事 斯圖 起碼有線索了
Hey, Stu, watch this. 嗨 斯圖 看這
[LAUGHS]
[CHUCKLES] 見過小孩這樣嗎? 你真無聊 艾倫
- You ever seen a baby do that? - Dude, Alan, not cool.
So, uh, are you sure you're qualified to be taking care of that baby? 你確定能照顧好小孩?
What? I've found a baby before. 別懷疑 我以前也撿到過
- You found a baby before? - Yeah. 你以前就撿到過小孩? 沒錯
- Where? - Coffee Bean. 在哪裡? 咖啡店
STU: Wait, what? 等等 什麼?
Hey, Phil? I don't think Doug would want us to take the Mercedes. 菲爾... 我想道格不會讓我們開那輛賓士的
Relax, we'll be careful. 別緊張 我們會小心的
My dad is crazy about that car. He left Doug in charge... 我爸超愛那車的 他讓道格負責...
Alan. We got bigger problems here. 艾倫 眼前有更麻煩的事情
Doug could be in the hospital, he could be hurt. 道格可能在醫院 可能受傷了
[CRANE BEEPING] 先別管車了 哥們 看吶
- Let's worry about the car later. - Uh, guys? Check it out.
MAN: All right, grab it from the other side. 從另一邊抓住
Is that the mattress from Doug's room? 那不是道格房間的床墊嗎?
PHIL: What the fuck? 搞屁!
Hey, man, what's going on here? 大家好 這是怎麼了?
Some asshole threw his bed out the window last night. 不知哪個溷球昨晚把床從窗口扔出來了
- No shit. - Yeah. 不會吧 沒錯
Some guys just can't handle Vegas. 看來有些人到拉斯維加斯就是會脫軌
Ha-ha.
Oh, God. 我的天
It's gonna be okay, Stu. 不會有事的 斯圖
How the hell did we manage that? 我們到底該怎麼辦?
- Here's your car, officers. - Oh, God. 這是您們的車 警官先生們 噢...天
All right, everybody act cool. All right, don't say a word. 大家冷靜點 別說話
Come on, let's just get in and go. Come on. 我們進去 快走吧
- Stu, you got a five? STU: No. 有五塊零錢嗎 斯圖? 沒有
PHIL: I'll hit you on the way back. VALET: Thank you, sir. 我們回頭再給你小費 謝謝您 先生
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 噢...天啊上帝吶
[BABY CRYING] 你刮到小孩了
You just nailed the baby.
ALAN: Are my glasses okay? 我墨鏡沒事吧?
Your glasses are fine, dick. 你墨鏡沒事 渾球
[CAR HORN HONKING]
STU: This is so illegal. 這下禍闖大了
Can't you see the fun part in anything? 每件事你不能多往好的方向看嗎?
Yeah, we're stuck in traffic in a stolen police car... 是啊我們開著偷來的警車 還堵在路上
...with a missing child in the back seat. 後座還有個失蹤嬰兒
Which part of this is fun? 這件事哪裡有意思了?
- I think the cop-car part's pretty cool. - Thank you, Alan. It is cool. 我認為偷警車很酷耶 謝謝 艾倫 超酷
Doug would love it. 道格一定會很喜歡
Come on. 來吧
[SIREN WAILING] 看我的 別這樣 菲爾 別亂搞
- Check this out. STU: Oh, no. No, Phil. No, Phil.
Don't do this! 別這樣!
PHIL: Take it easy. - Just try to call more attention to us. 別緊張 吸引注意力而已
PHIL [OVER PA]: Attention. - Sorry. 大家注意 抱歉
PHIL: Attention, please. Move out of the way. 請大家注意 請讓路
I repeat, please disperse. 重複 請讓開
Phil, stop the car, I wanna get out. Stop the car, I wanna get out. Pull over. 菲爾 停車 我要下去 停車!我要下去
Ma'am, in the leopard dress, you have an amazing rack. 穿豹紋的女士您的牙齒很正
STU: Get off the sidewalk! Get off the sidewalk! 下人行道! 開下人行道!
I should have been a fucking cop. 我真該去做他X的條子
[STU SCREAMS]
Look, I already told you. 我早告訴過你了
You came in with a mild concussion, some bruised ribs. No big deal. 你來的時候有點腦震盪 肋骨撞傷 沒啥事.
Although none of you could articulate how it happened. 但你們誰都說不清楚是怎麼一回事
Do you remember how many of us were here? 你記得昨晚我們有幾個人在這嗎?
Ah... 嗯...
I don't know. I think it was just you guys. Definitely no baby. 不記得 應該就你們幾個 肯定沒小孩
- And one other guy. - That's our guy. Was he okay? 還有另一個人 我們找的就是他 他沒事吧?
Yeah. He was fine. Just whacked out of his mind. You all were. 他沒事 就是有點神志不清 你們幾個都是
All right, come forward. And turn. 好 往前 轉身
All right. 好的
There you go. And cough. 很好 咳一下
[MAN COUGHING] 咳 咳 再咳一下
Cough. Cough. Give me one more.
All right. Thattaboy. 好了 棒極了
Okay, Felix, you can put your robe on. 行了 費利克斯 你可以穿衣服了.
And the nurse will be in here in a minute. 護士一會兒就來
I'll see you after the weekend. 下周我會再來看你
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, doctor. 非常感謝 醫生
Guys, I really gotta go. I'm sorry. I have a surgery up on the fourth floor. 大伙我真的得走了 很抱歉 四樓還有手術等我
No, I know. But we just need a couple more minutes of your time. 我知道 再耽誤您幾分鐘
Yeah. Tuck it right in there. I don't want to re-sterilize. 塞到那裡 免得我還得再消毒
Walk with me. 跟我來
Okay, here we go. Patient name, Phil Wenneck, 2:45 a.m. Arrival. 在這裡 患者名叫菲爾?溫內克 凌晨2點45入院
Minor concussion, like I said. Some bruising. Pretty standard. 輕微腦震盪 像我說的 一些尋常的瘀傷
Do you mind if I look? I'm actually a doctor. 你介意我看看嗎?其實我是個醫生
Yeah, you said that several times last night. But really, you're just a dentist. 嗯 你昨晚說了好多遍了 不過說真的 你只是個牙醫
Okay, this is interesting. Your blood work came in this morning. 這個有意思了 你的血液採樣今早已經有結果了
Wow. 哇
They found a large amount of Ruphylin in your system. 裡面有過量拉菲林
Ruphylin. Roofies. Commonly known as the date-rape drug. 拉菲林 也叫屋頂丸 就是平常說的約會藥丸
What, so, what are you saying, I was raped last night? 什麼什麼 我昨晚被強姦了?
Actually... 說實話...
I don't think so. But someone did slip you the drug. 我不認為 不過的確有人給你下藥了
I'm not surprised you don't remember anything. 所以你什麼也不記得一點不意外
[CHUCKLES] 醫生 我們昨晚全體失憶了 記得不?
Doc, none of us can remember anything from last night. Remember?
Yeah. How could someone have drugged all of us? 是啊誰能給我們集體下藥呢?
VALSH: I wouldn't worry about it. 這就不關我事了
The stuff's out of your system. You're gonna be fine. 成分已經排出體外 你現在沒事啦
Wait, wait, wait. Please, doctor. Is there anything else? 等等 拜託了 醫生 昨晚還有什麼事?
Like, something we may have been talking about, or some place we were going? 比如我們有說什麼...或去哪
Actually, there was something. 事實上...還真有
You guys kept talking about some wedding last night. 昨晚你們一直在說什麼婚禮
Yeah. No shit. Our buddy Doug's getting married tomorrow. 沒錯 我們的哥兒道格明天結婚
- You know what? I want the 100 back. - No, no. Easy. 你還是把100塊錢還我吧 不 不 別激動
You kept talking about some wedding you just came from. 你一直在說什麼剛剛參加過的婚禮
At the, uh, Best Little Chapel. 在什麼...最佳小禮堂
You kept saying how sick the wedding was and getting all crazy about it. 你一直在說婚禮有多病態 激動不已
Okay, I hope this helps. I really have to leave. 希望能幫到你們 我真的要走了
Best Little Chapel, do you know where that is? 最佳小禮堂 你知道在哪裡嗎?
I do. It's at the corner of Get A Map and Fuck Off. 我知道 那條路叫 '自己看地圖' 然後給我滾
I'm a doctor, not a tour guide. 我是醫生 不是導遊
Figure it out yourself, okay? You're big boys. 自己想辦法好嗎?都是大人了
ALAN: What about the baby? 小孩怎麼辦?
PHIL: Leave him in the car. We're gonna be five minutes. 放車裡吧 五分鐘就出來
STU: Whoa, we're not leaving a baby in the car. 喂 不能把嬰兒放車裡
He'll be fine. I cracked the window. 沒事的 車窗都鎖上了
- What if they don't remember us? - Well, let's just find out. 要是他們不記得我們怎麼辦? 一會兒就知道了
I'm sor... Excuse me, sir? Hi. 不好意思...先生?你好
[EDDIE LAUGHS]
Look at these guys. 看看你們
What happened? You miss me? You miss Eddie? You want more from me? 怎麼了 想我? 這麼快思念艾迪了? 還想要什麼呢?
How are you, my friend? Look at this guy. You're fucking crazy. 你好嗎 朋友? 看看這小子 你真他X的瘋狂
What's going on, man? 怎麼了 兄弟?
Listen, I'm gonna tell you something. I know some sick people in my life. 跟你說 我認識一些很惡的人
This guy is the craziest, wildest bastard I ever met in my life, man. 但都比不上這傢伙這麼瘋狂放蕩
- This guy? - This guy is out of his mind. 他? 這哥們是真瘋了
What's going on, you fucking crazy motherfucker? 怎麼了 你這個大溷蛋!!
I thought he was gonna eat my dick. 我還以為他要吃掉我的老二
What happened? No love for Eddie? You don't hug me? 怎麼了? 不愛艾迪了? 怎麼不抱我?
No, no. It's not that, Eddie. 不 不是這樣的 艾迪
Uh, it's just that we're having a hard time remembering what happened here last night. 我們只不過有點...記不起來昨晚的事了
Yeah, was there a wedding here? Do you do weddings here? 沒錯 昨晚有個婚禮 你們主持婚禮嗎?
[LAUGHS]
You are cracking my balls, man. 我蛋都笑疼了 老兄
I love these guys. Zolea, what are you doing? 我愛這些人 佐利 你在幹嘛?
Bring my friends some tea, some baklava, huh? Come on. 幫我朋友倒一些茶 再拿一些千層派... 好嗎
Unbelievable, man. Look at this chick. Beautiful ass, no fucking brain. 真不可思議 看這馬子 完美的臀部沒大腦
But this is Vegas. You want intimacy, forget it. You're gonna get sex. 但這是維加斯 你需要性 算了吧...你會得到性福的
That's it here, man. No problem for me, though. 沒問題啦
You want chicks? I can get you beautiful chicks... 你要女人? 我可以找到漂亮的妞...
...from the Eastern Bloc. No questions. 從東歐來的 沒問題
Clean, tight. The tits like that, the nipple like that. 乾淨 結實 很棒的胸部
Obviously we were here. We're looking for our friend Doug. 顯然我們來過 我們在找叫道格的朋友
- Do you remember? - Yeah, the small guy. Like a monkey. 你記得他嗎? 記得 那個矮的 長得像猴子
- Yeah. - You saw him? 沒錯 你見到他了?
Of course. 當然
Is there anything you can tell us about what may have happened last night? 昨晚發生了什麼 能告訴我們嗎?
You don't remember nothing? 你們都不記得了?
[STU GROANS]
- Congratulations, Stu, you got married. - This... This can't be happening. 恭喜你 斯圖 你結婚了 這...不可能啊
- Oh, God. ALAN: Look at that. 噢...天啊看...看...
[STU GROANING]
I'll tell you one thing, you look seriously happy here, man. 說實在的 你看起來真快樂
STU: That's it. My life is over. 我算是徹底完蛋了
Stu, it's okay. Look, shit happens. 沒事啦...斯圖 人生總有不如意
Come on. Melissa's not gonna know anything about this. 別緊張 梅麗莎不可能知道的
- This never happened. I'll take care of it. - Come on. Put it here. 這事沒發生過 我幫你辦妥 來 放這裡
Hey, what's all that? 嘿 這又是什麼?
The High Roller package. It's what you ordered. I have coffee mugs. 高檔禮包 你自己訂的 這是馬克杯
- What? EDDIE: You have baseball caps, huh? 什麼? 還有棒球帽
And fancy calendars, all with pictures of Stu and Jade. 有斯圖和潔德相片的精美月曆
PHIL: Her name's Jade? 她叫潔德?
Yeah, and she's beautiful, man. Clean, very tight. Tits like that. 沒錯 大美人啊乾淨緊實 胸部像這樣
- But that's because she had a baby. PHIL: That explains the baby. 但那是因為她生過孩子 原來小孩是她的
- Oh, Carlos. Carlos. - Great. All right. 噢 卡洛斯 很好
Uh, here's the deal. We made a mistake last night. 這樣吧 我們昨晚做錯事了
We need this marriage annulled. You do annulments? 我們得廢除這樁婚事 你可以宣佈無效嗎?
Of course I do. It breaks my heart and gonna make me sad... 當然可以 雖然這讓我很傷心 很難過...
...but it's no problem. Good price for you. 但沒問題 價錢好商量
I can't do it with just him, though. I need the chick. I need both parties. 不過單他一人不行 得兩人都在
Oh, not a problem. That's great. Isn't that great, Stu? 沒問題 很好 是吧...斯圖?
Come on, buddy. She probably knows where Doug is. 別這樣 夥伴 也許她知道道格在哪裡呢
- Awesome. - All right, all right. Okay. Uh... 太棒了 好吧 嗯
We need her address. She filled out some paperwork, right? 給我們她的地址 當時有填表吧?
Of course. 當然有
Hey. Excuse me. What is the matter with you? Go and get the paperwork, man. 打擾一下 你他X的又怎麼了? 去把文件拿來
- I spend my life waiting for you. Come on. - Okay. I'm going. 我這輩子都在等你了 快點 好...我去了
EDDIE: And get the baklava, please. 再拿點千層派
- Hey, Phil, what about my dad's car? - I'm sure Doug has it. We'll get it back. 對了菲爾 我爸的車呢? 一定在道格那裡 我們這就去拿
Then I vote we torch the cop car and all this shit with it. 那我想砸爛這輛警車以及裡面的東西
- Torch it? Who are you? - I don't know, Phil. 砸它?你怎麼搞的? 不知道 菲爾
Apparently I'm a guy who marries complete strangers. 顯然我跟一個陌生人結婚了
This whole situation is completely fucked. 這根本失控啦
- These mugs. This hat. This car. - Hey! 馬克杯 帽子 這輛車!! 嘿
It's all evidence of a night that never happened. 這都是那個不存在夜晚存在的證明
That is why we're torching all of it. 所以我們要搗毀他們
Whoa, I'm a schoolteacher, I got a family, okay? 等等等等 我是個老師 我有家庭 好吧?
I'm all for secrecy, but I'm not gonna torch a cop car. 我會替你保密 但我不會砸警車
- Fine. I'll do it. - Can I help? 好吧 我自己來 我能幫忙嗎?
- Yeah, thanks. - And how exactly are you gonna do that? 行 多謝 你想怎麼做...
Easy. You just pour kerosene over a ferret, light it on both ends, put it in. 簡單...把煤油倒到貂上兩端點火 然後丟進去
They're attracted to the gas lines. 這會點著汽油管線
- What? A ferret? - Yeah. Yeah. 什麼? 貂 對啊
Or a tamed raccoon, but it's a lot of trouble. 或是馴服的浣熊 不過那會比較麻煩
ALAN: If you wanna... - Does it matter if it's tamed? 如果你要... 馴服不馴服有關係嗎?
Yeah, because if it's untamed, it won't take the kerosene as well. 如果不是馴服的 它不會幫你叼煤油
[CELL PHONE RINGING] 是道格嗎? 我沒帶手機
PHIL: Is it Doug? - I don't have it.
PHIL: It's Doug, it's Doug. 是道格 肯定是
Uh, it's Melissa. 靠是梅麗莎
- Don't answer. - I have to. She's called twice already! 別接 沒辦法 她已經打了兩次了!
- Can I ride shotgun? PHIL: Don't touch me. 我能試下散彈鎗嗎? 別碰我
Hey, sweetheart, how are you? 親愛的 你好嗎?
There you are. This is the third time I'm trying you. 你總算接了 我打第三次了
I know. The reception up here's crazy. 我知道 這裡訊號差得離譜
I think it's all the sequoia trees, block the signal. 肯定是紅杉樹擋住訊號
Ugh, I hate that. So how was it last night? 真煩 昨晚如何?
Ah, it was really fun, actually. It was quiet, but it was a good time. 說實在的 很不錯 雖然很安靜 但真是很美妙
MELISSA: That sounds nice. 聽起來不錯啊
- I'm learning all kinds of vino factoids. - Hi. 我認識了好多種葡萄酒
[BABBLES]
It'd be so cool if I could breast-feed, you know? 要是我自己能餵他喝母奶就好了
STU: Well, listen... 聽著...
...we're about to go for a tractor ride. PHIL: What the fuck? 我們準備坐拖拉機出發了 什麼東東?
STU: I should get going. So pretty. MELISSA: A tractor ride? 我得掛了 真美啊坐拖拉機?
[BASEBALL BAT THUDS] 給我出來! 這是怎麼回事?
- Go, out of the car! - What was that?
They started up the tractor. I think it backfired. 拖拉機發動了 不過可能回火了
- Where the hell is he? PHIL: Hey, easy, easy. 這他媽是誰? 冷靜 冷靜
I think we're looking for the same guy, okay? 我們應該是在找同一個人吧?
Hey! What the hell, man? 嘿!搞什麼?
[CRYING] 搞什麼飛機 斯圖?是嬰兒的聲音嗎?
MELISSA: What the fuck, Stu? Is that a baby?
Why would there be a baby? We're at a winery. That's a goat. 怎麼可能會有小孩? 我們在釀酒廠 那是山羊的聲音
- Where is he? - I don't know! What are you talking about? 他在哪裡? 我不知道!你在說什麼啊!
Sir, can you please start the tractor so we can get out of here? 先生 能不能啟動拖拉機上路了?
I'm trying to, but we're fucking blocked. 我正試著呢 不過路被擋住了
Oh, my God! What the hell is happening, Stu? 天吶!這到底是怎麼了 斯圖?
- Hey! There's a baby on board! - Someone just said "baby." 嘿!車上有小孩! 有人剛說"小孩"
- Get out of the car! - It's a baby goat. 給我滾出來! 是小羊
Why you making trouble for my business, man? 你們幹嘛在我門口鬧事?
- Go away from here. - Get out of the car! 給我滾開 給我滾下來
- Phil, he's got a gun! - No shit he's got a gun! 菲爾 他有槍! 我他X的知道他有槍!
- I gotta call you back. Bye. - Come on. 我回頭打給你 再見 趕緊
PHIL: Fuck! Shit. EDDIE: He shot me! 我靠他朝我開槍了
- He shot Eddie! - Fuck this shit! 他射中艾迪了! 他X的!
[SQUEALING]
[SCREAMS] 媽的...該死..
PHIL: Fuck! Fuck!
Go, go, go! 快走 快走!
MAN: Fuck. 媽的
Okay. Oh, that was some sick shit! 他有病嗎!!!
[BABY CRYING] 那些人是誰?
ALAN: Who were those guys? 沒事的 都會過去的
STU: We're gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be okay.
What the fuck is going on?! 到底他X的怎麼了?!
I have no idea. 我完全不知道
[SIGHS]
[PANTING]
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
Why don't you just let that go to voicemail? 你幹嘛不讓它自己轉語音信箱?
Ha-ha-ha. 嘿...嘿...嘿...
That's a fake laugh, by the way. 對了 剛才是假笑
It's got, uh, Ted Danson and Magnum P.I. And that Jewish actor. 裡面有泰德?丹森私家偵探麥格隆還有那個猶太演員
Shut up, Alan. 閉嘴 艾倫
- What room was it again? - It's 825. 哪個房間來著? 825
WOMAN: I know, I did. I already checked with her. 我知道 已經跟她說過了
I found him, I'll call you back. Thank God, he's with his father. 找到了 回頭打給你 謝天謝地 和爸爸在一起呢
I was freaking out. I missed you, sweetie. 我都抓狂了 想死你了...寶貝
And I miss you. 我也想你
[JADE MOANING]
No. 不
- What the hell happened to you guys? - Actually, we were hoping you could tell us. 你們幾個怎麼了? 說實在的 我們還想問你呢
What do you mean? I got up this morning, I went to get coffee... 什麼意思?我早上起來去沖咖啡
...and I came back and you were gone. 回來你們就不見了
- Why are you being so quiet? - I'm not being quiet. 你怎麼這麼沉默? 我不是沉默
Ha, ha. You're so cute. 哈 你真可愛
Yeah, I gotta feed Tyler. Come inside, you guys. 我得喂泰勒了 進來吧...夥伴們
Did you hear that? Baby's name is Tyler. 聽到沒? 小孩叫做泰勒
Yeah. I thought he looked more like a Carlos too, bud. 不過我覺得他長得像卡洛斯
Okay, what's up? You guys are acting weird. 好吧 怎麼了?你們個個都怪怪的
- Look, it's Jade, right? - Very funny, Phil. 你叫潔德對吧? 你真搞笑 菲爾
Right, Jade, uh, ahem, you remember our friend, Doug. 好吧 潔德 你記得我們的朋友道格吧
Are you kidding? He was the best man. 開玩笑吧? 他可是伴郎
Exactly. Well, we can't find him, and we're getting worried. 沒錯 我們現在找不到他 很擔心
JADE: Oh, my God, that is so Doug. 哦...天 不愧是道格
Ha, ha. Oh.
[CRYING]
Oh, sweetie, I'm... I'm gonna go clean him off. 噢...親愛的...我去清理一下
It's all right, Daddy didn't mean it. 沒事啦 爸爸不是故意的
Oh, my God. 我的天
What the fuck, man, you gotta hold it together. 我他X的 大哥 你要冷靜啊
- Holy shit. - She is super hot. 哇靠她超火辣
- You should be proud of yourself. - She's wearing my grandmother's ring! 你應該自豪才對 她戴著我祖母的戒指
- What? - The ring I'm gonna give to Melissa. 什麼? 我打算給梅麗莎的戒指
You remember, my grandmother's Holocaust ring? 記得嗎?我祖母的大屠殺戒指
- Fuck. Okay. - She's wearing it. 好吧 她正戴著呢
I didn't know they gave out rings at the Holocaust. 我不知道大屠殺還送戒指啊
- He's okay. PHIL: Oh, good. 他沒事了 哦 好
JADE: He was just hungry, he's fine. - Oh, good. 他就是有點餓了 哦 那就好
About last night, uh, ahem, do you remember the last time you saw Doug? 你記得昨晚 最後一次看見道格是什麼時候嗎?
- Uh, I haven't seen him since the wedding. - The wedding. Okay. Great. 嗯 婚禮之後我就沒見到了 婚禮 噢 太好了
And, uh, we can't re... What time was that at? 那...那大概是什麼時候?
Well, it was, um... 好像是...
[CLEARING THROAT]
I guess it was around 1, because I had to go back to work and finish my shift. 應該是一點左右 因為我得回去把班值完
And then when I got out I headed over to the hotel with Tyler. 下班後我就帶著泰勒去飯店了
And was Doug there then? 那時候道格在嗎?
I didn't see Doug because you guys were passed out. The room was a wreck. 我沒看見道格 因為你們都掛了 房間一片狼藉
- So I just curled up next to Stu. PHIL: Uh-huh. 所以我就挨著斯圖睡了
- Rowr. - Oh.
I got a question. Um, you said when your shift ended. 我有個問題 你說你回去值班了
Does that mean you're a nurse? Or a blackjack dealer? 那你是護士?還是21點的發牌員?
- You know this. I'm a stripper. - Mm-hm. 你心裡清楚 我是脫衣舞孃
Well, technically I'm an escort, but stripping's a great way to meet the clients. 準確的說我只是伴遊的 但脫衣舞是認識客戶的好辦法
- Smart. - Savvy. 聰明 有悟性
But that's all in the past, now that I married a doctor. 但那都過去了 現在我嫁給醫生了
I'm just a dentist. 我只是個牙醫
- Las Vegas Police! Freeze! - Okay. 拉斯維加斯警方!別動! 這下好了
[TYLER CRYING] 讓小孩閉嘴!讓小孩閉嘴!
Shut that baby up! Shut that baby up!
STU: Oh, God! PHIL: Okay, okay, okay. 噢 老天! 好的...好的
After we take the mug shots, we bring them down here... 拍完嫌犯照片之後 我們把他們帶到這裡
...where they wait to be interviewed by the arresting officers. 等候拘捕他們的警官審訊
Trust me, kids, you do not wanna be sitting on these benches. 孩子們 你們長大了可別坐在這裡
We call this place Loserville. 我們叫這地方窩囊鎮
[KIDS LAUGHING]
FOLTZ: Follow me. All right, let's do it. Come on. 跟我來
[SHUTTER CLICKS]
Hello. Hello. 你好
- Hey, Tracy! It's Phil. TRACY [OVER PHONE]: Hey, Phil. 嗨 特蕾西!我是菲爾 你好 菲爾
- Where are you guys? - We are at the spa at the hotel. 你們在哪兒呢? 我們在飯店做水療
Cool. We're just getting some sun. Is Doug around? 酷 我們正在曬太陽 道格在嗎?
Of course. Why wouldn't he be? 當然 他能去哪裡?
I'm just wondering why you're calling me. 我只是奇怪為什麼是你打來
Um... 這個...
We made a deal, no talking to girlfriends or wives. 我們說好了 不能打給自己的老婆或女朋友
So we're all calling each other's. 所以就互相打了
TRACY: Okay. What's up? 好吧 有事嗎?
Uh, you are not gonna believe this. We got comped an extra night at the hotel. 說出來你一定不信 飯店多送了我們一晚上
You did? 是嗎?
Yeah. The suite is... It's ridiculous. It's out of control. 是啊真荒謬...不知道他們怎麼想的
There's, like, room service and a butler. I mean, just the works. 不過這裡客房服務和服務生都很不錯
We're thinking of spending the night... 我們打算再呆一晚...
...and we're gonna come back in the morning. 然後明早回去
You wanna stay an extra night? But the wedding's tomorrow. 你們還要呆一晚上? 可是明天就是婚禮了
That's why we're gonna get up early, and we'll be back in plenty of time. 所以我們會一早起來 有充裕的時間回去
Okay. Are you sure that's a good idea? 好吧...你覺得這是個好主意嗎?
Wenneck, Price, Garner. Room 3. 溫內克 普萊斯 加納 三號房
Okay, Trace, I gotta go. We'll talk to you later. 好了特蕾西 我先掛了 回頭再說
Uh...
- Come on, chop-chop. - Okay, spin around. 快 ! 快 ! 好了 轉一下
- That's it. - Goddamn it. 沒錯 靠
- Wait a second. - I'll go over. I'll go over. 等等 我過去
PHIL: Stop pulling. ALAN: Can you just...? Hold on. 別急 你就不能...?等等
We got it. Alan, just relax. And then just... There we go. 行了艾倫 別緊張 再這樣... 這不就好了
Good. 好
[DOOR OPENS]
Gentlemen. 先生們
We've got some good news, and we've got some bad news. 有些好消息和壞消息
The good news is we found your Mercedes. 好消息是你們的賓士找到了
[PHIL CHUCKLES] 好消息啊不錯吧!
- That's great news. - That's great. See?
Yeah, it's over at impound right now. We picked it up at 5 a.m. This morning... 現在正被扣押 是今早五點發現的
...parked in the middle of Las Vegas Boulevard. 停在拉斯維加斯大道正中央
PHIL: In the middle. That's weird. - Yeah, that is weird. 正中央 真奇怪 是很奇怪
There was also a note. 還有一張便條紙
It says, uh, "Couldn't find a meter, but here's 4 bucks." 寫著 "找不到計時器 四塊給你"
The bad news is... 壞消息是...
...we can't get you in front of a judge until Monday morning. 週一早上才能安排法官審理
Oh, no, uh, officer, that's just impossible. 哦不 長官 這樣不行
No, we need to be in L.A. Tomorrow for a wedding. 我們明天要去洛杉磯參加婚禮
- You stole a police car. - We didn't steal anything. Um, we found it. 你們偷了警車 我們什麼也沒偷 我們找到的
Yeah, if anything, we deserve a reward or something, like a trophy. 是啊是不是該給我們個獎品獎盃什麼的
- I see assholes like you every day. - Every fucking day. 你們這種爛貨我每天見多了 每天都他X的有
"Let's go to Vegas, we'll all get drunk and laid! "我們去拉斯維加斯吧 喝醉盡性!"
- Yeah. Whoo! Woo-hoo. - Woo-hoo.
Let's steal a cop car, because it'd be really fucking funny." "我們偷輛警車吧 這真他X的有趣"
Think you gonna get away with it? Not up in here. 以為這樣就能走了?門都沒有
- Not up in here! - Oh. 在這絕對不可能!
Uh... 嗯...
Sir... 長官...
...if I may, um... 請允許我...
...l'm assuming that that squad car belongs to one of you. 我想這車應該是屬於二位其中一位的
- Yeah. PHIL: Yeah. 是啊恩
Look, I'm not a cop. 我不是一個警察
I'm no hero. I'm a schoolteacher. 我也不是一個英雄 我是個老師
But if one of my kids went missing on a field trip... 如果我的學生郊遊時走丟了
...that would look really bad on me. 我臉上也掛不住
- What are you getting at? - Yeah, Phil, what are you getting at? 你想說什麼?? 是啊你想說什麼 菲爾?
No one wants to look bad. We gotta get to a wedding... 這種結果沒人願意看到 我們趕著參加婚禮
...and you guys don't need people talking about... 而你們肯定也不願意別人整天談論
...how some obnoxious tourists borrowed your squad car last night. 那幾個討厭的遊客昨晚如何借用了你們的巡邏車
But look, the point is, I think we can work out a deal. 我的意思是 我們可以做個交易
Discreetly of course, ma'am. 當然 是很嚴肅的 女士
What do you say? 你們意下如何?
[LAUGHS]
FRANKLIN: Let me ask you a question: 我想問一下:
Do, uh, any of you gentlemen have a heart condition or anything like that? 各位有沒有心臟之類疾病的問題?
Uh, no. 呃 沒有
Okay, kids, you're in for a real treat today. 好了孩子們 今天你們非常幸運
These gentlemen have kindly volunteered to demonstrate... 這幾位先生自願為你們展示
...how a stun gun is used to subdue a suspect. 電擊槍是如何制服嫌犯的
KIDS: Ooh! 沒錯 等等 啥意思?
- That's right. - Wait a sec. What?
Now, there's two ways to use a stun gun. Up close and personal. 電擊槍有兩種用法 貼近或接觸
[SCREAMS]
[LAUGHING] 搞屁 或者你也可以遠距離射擊
- What the fuck? - Or you can shoot it from a distance.
Do I have any volunteers? You wanna come up here and do some shooting? Huh? 有沒有自願者想上來開幾槍嗎?
All right, how about you, young lady? Come on up here. All right. 好了 就你吧 小姑娘 來
Let's go, handsome, come on. 過來吧 帥哥 來
Not you, fat Jesus, slide it on back. You, pretty boy. 不是說你 死胖子 滾回去 說你呢 靚仔
GIRL: Fat Jesus. FRANKLIN: All right, now, it's real simple. 死胖子 好 非常簡單
All you gotta do is point, aim and shoot. 你只要指向目標...瞄準 再開槍就好了
All right? 知道嗎?
Okay, look. You don't really wanna do this. 其實...真的沒必要這樣
You can do this. Just focus. 你行的 專心一點
Don't listen to this maniac. Let's think this through. 別聽這個瘋子的話 好好想一想
Finish him! 幹掉他!
PHIL: Oh, fuck. FRANKLIN: Yeah! 哇靠耶
[GRUNTING & FRANKLIN LAUGHING] 正中LP!漂亮
Right in the nuts! That was beautiful.
[KIDS LAUGH] 很好 大家掌聲鼓勵 很好 很不錯
- Well done. Give her a hand, everybody. - Good job. Good job.
Good job. Well done. Good job. That was great. 很不錯 幹得好
Good. Hey, we got one more charge left. Anybody wanna do some shooting up here? 好了 還剩下一發 還有誰願意試試看?
How about you, big man? Come on up here. 就你吧 大個子! 上來
Okay, same instructions. Just point, aim and shoot. 一樣的程序 舉槍. 瞄準 然後射擊
There you go. That's the stuff. 沒錯 很好
I like the intensity. 氣氛好緊張 我喜歡
Eye of the tiger. Good. 虎之眼 很好
You're holding 50,000 volts, little man. Don't be afraid to ride the lightning. 你手上可是五萬伏特高壓電 小伙子 要勇於駕馭閃電
[GRUNTING]
In the face! In the face! 射到臉上了!射到臉上了!
[LAUGHING]
Oh, he's still up. He's still up. 噢 他還站著 還挺著
- Aah! - No. 不
All right, everybody relax, take it easy. 大家別緊張
We've seen it before. He just needs a little extra charge. 這種情況我們見過 他只是需要些額外的刺激
There we go. 很好
[FRANKLIN & GARDEN LAUGHING]
Some of these big boys, you gotta give them two shots. 有些這種大塊頭 一般都得兩下
All right, kids, who wants to get their fingerprints done, huh? Come on, let's go. 孩子們...現在大家要不要去看指紋? 走吧
STU: Fuck those guys, you hear me? 這些溷蛋
That was bullshit. I'm telling everybody we stole a cop car. 真是狗屁 我要把偷警車這事告訴所有人
- They let us go, who cares? - I care! 他們都讓我們走了 算了吧 算個屁!
You can't just do that. You can't just tase people because you think it's funny. 怎麼能這樣! 不能因為好玩就電擊別人!
That's police brutality. 這是濫用警察職權
I'm getting a soda. Do you guys want anything? 我要買瓶汽水 你們要嗎?
No. 不要
My man doesn't shut up. Jesus Christ. 這傢伙就是不能閉上嘴 我的天
Alan, you okay? 你沒事吧 艾倫?
I'm just worried. 就是有點擔心
What if something happened to Doug? Something bad. 如果道格發生意外怎麼辦? 不好的意外!
Come on, you can't think like that. 你別這樣想啦
I mean, what if he's dead? 如果他死了呢?
I can't afford to lose anybody close to me again. It hurts too much. 我不能再失去這麼親密的人了 很傷人
- I was so upset when my grandpa died. - Oh, I'm s... How'd he die? 爺爺去世的時候我好難過 我真...他怎麼死的?
- World War II. - Died in battle? 二次世界大戰 戰死沙場?
No, he was skiing in Vermont. It was just during World War II. 不是 二戰期間 在佛蒙特滑雪的時候
Alan... 艾倫...
...Doug is fine. - Well, why hasn't he called? 道格沒事的 那他怎麼不打電話來?
I don't know, but we're gonna figure it out. 不知道 但我們會搞清楚的
I'll tell you another thing, 6-1 odds our car is beat to shit. 告訴你 我賭我們的車被砸爛了 6賠1
Stu, not now. 閉嘴 斯圖
No, how much do you wanna bet it's fucked beyond recognition? 不 肯定被砸得認不出來了 你賭多少?
That's enough. Alan's seriously worried, okay? Let's not freak him out any more. 夠了 艾倫夠難過了 別再刺激他了好嗎?
Sorry, Alan. 對不起 艾倫
You know what? 知道嗎!
We'll search the car for clues and everything's gonna be okay. 我們在車裡好好找找線索 不會有事的
[CAR APPROACHING]
PHIL: Oh, shit. I can't watch. Just tell me what it looks like. 噢 我真不敢看 告訴我它成了什麼樣子
STU: Not looking. Not looking. 不敢看 不敢看
- Wow. All right. PHIL: Oh, thank God. 哇 不錯 謝天謝地
You see? 看見沒?
It's gonna be all right. 沒事的
- Anything? STU: Hmm, I got a cigar. 有發現什麼嗎? 這裡有雪茄
Oh, I found, uh... These are some black shoes. 我找到...黑色鞋子
- They women's shoes? - I don't know. 女鞋嗎? 看不出來
- Whose are those? - I don't know. It's a men's size 6. 這是誰的? 不知道 男鞋 6號
- That's weird. - What is this, a snakeskin? 真奇怪 這是什麼 蛇皮?
Oh, come on! Ew! 我靠拿開!
- That's a used condom, Alan. - Oh, God. Blech! 那是用過的套套 艾倫 噢...天!
- Get it out of the car. STU: Gross, it's wet. 扔出車去 好惡 還是濕的
- I don't want the thing. - Hey! Come on. 我不要 我靠
I got jizz on me. Jesus Christ, guys! 弄到身上了 老天!
STU: Get it out. PHIL: Fuck! 扔出去 XX!
Oh, my God. 我的天
All right, what the fuck, man? We gotta get this shit together, guys! 搞什麼?大夥兒一定得弄清楚!
[THUMPING ON METAL]
What was that? 什麼聲音?
It's in the trunk. 後車廂
- Doug's in the trunk. PHIL: Oh, fuck! Holy shit! 道格在後車廂 我靠!
Holy shit! 真他娘的見鬼
- Open it! Open it! Open it! PHIL: Okay, okay, okay. 打開!快打開! 行 行
Okay, okay, okay. 好...好...好
[MAN & PHIL GRUNTING]
ALAN: Oh God! 天吶!
Please! Please! Please stop! 別打了 住手!
[STU GRUNTING]
Whoa. I'm with you, I'm with you! 我跟你一樣的想法
- You gonna fuck on me? - Nobody's gonna fuck on you! 想搞我嗎? 沒人想搞你
We're on your side. I hate Godzilla! I hate him too. I hate him! 我們是一夥的 我也討厭酷斯拉! 我也討厭他!
He destroys cities! Please! 他老是摧毀城市!
This isn't your fault. I'll get you some pants. 這不是你的錯 我給你拿條褲子
[GRUNTING]
PHIL: What the fuck was that? 這他X又是哪一出?
STU: I have internal bleeding. Somebody call 911. 我內出血了 打 911
That was some fucked up shit. 都是什麼屁事
Who was that guy? He was so mean. 那是誰?真賤
Guys, there's something I need to tell you. 大伙 有些話我想告訴你們
Last night on the roof, before we went out... 昨晚在屋頂上 離開之前...
...I slipped something in our J?germeister. 我給你們的酒裡面加了點東西... ...I slipped something in our J盲germeister.
- What? - I'm sorry, I fudged up, guys. 什麼? 對不起 我搞砸了
- You drugged us? - No, I didn't drug you. 你給我們下藥了? 不 我沒下藥
I was told it was ecstasy. 他說是搖頭丸
Well, who told you it was ecstasy? 誰跟你說是搖頭丸?
The guy I bought it from at the liquor store. 酒鋪賣給我的那個人
Why would you give us ecstasy? 你為什麼要給我們搖頭丸?
I wanted everybody to have a good time and I knew you guys wouldn't take it. 我想大家玩得開心一點 我知道你們不會吃的
It was just one hit each. I used to do three hits a night. 一人一粒而已 我以前一晚都三粒的
But it wasn't ecstasy, Alan, it was roofies! 但那不是搖頭丸 是約會藥丸 艾倫!
ALAN: You think I knew that, Stu? 你以為我知道嗎 艾倫?
The guy I bought it from seemed like a real straight shooter. 賣貨那人看起來像個黑幫
You mean the drug dealer at the liquor store wasn't a good guy? 你說酒鋪的老闆不是好人?
Let's just calm down. 大家冷靜點
You fucking calm down! He drugged us. I lost a tooth. I married a whore. 你他X的給我冷靜! 他給我們下藥了 我少了顆牙 娶了隻雞
- How dare you! She's a nice lady. - You are such a fucking moron. 你怎麼這麼說?她是個好女人! 你這個超級智障
- Your language is offensive. STU: Fuck you! 你說話太粗魯了 X死你!
All right, let's just take a deep breath, okay? 好吧 大家都深呼吸 好嗎?
Seriously, this is a good thing. 說真的 這是好事
At least it's not some stranger who drugged us for God knows what reason. 至少我們不是陌生人莫名其妙下藥的
Yeah, you're right, Phil, it's totally a good thing. 你說得沒錯 菲爾 絕對是件好事
We're so much better off now. 我們該走了
Here's something I would like to remind you two of: 有件事我想提醒你們兩個:
Our best friend Doug is probably facedown in a ditch right now... 我們最好的朋友道格現在也許橫屍陰溝
...with a meth-head butt-fucking his corpse. 被個癮君子在奸屍呢!
- That's highly unlikely. - It's true. 我覺得很不可能 是真的
Does not help. All right, let's get our shit together, guys. 說這些沒用 大家振作起來
Let's go back to the hotel, and I'm gonna make a couple calls. 我們先回飯店去 我打幾個電話
Maybe Doug's back there. Maybe he's asleep. 也許道格回去了 正在睡覺呢
Come on. Let's go. 我們走吧
- Stu? Little help? STU: Shut up. 幫個小忙 斯圖? 閉嘴
ALAN: Ow. - Oh, God. Oh, God, are you okay? 啊沒事吧 啊?
ALAN: Yeah, I'm fine. - Alan, I'm sorry. 沒事 很抱歉 艾倫
Wait, guys. Guys. 大伙 等等
What about the tiger? What if he got out? 老虎呢?要是跑出來怎麼辦?
Oh, fuck. I keep forgetting about the goddamn tiger. 我X 你不說我都忘了老虎這件事
How the fuck did he get in there? 它是到底怎麼進去的?
- I don't know, because I don't remember. - Shh. Stu. Stu, keep it down. 我不知道 因為我不記得了 小聲點 斯圖
Because one of the, uh, side effects of, uh, roofies is memory loss. 約會藥丸的一個副作用就是 失憶
You are literally too stupid to insult. 我都不好意思X你了
- Thank you. - Hey. 謝謝
[PHIL COLLINS' "IN THE AIR TONIGHT" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
Hey, come on. 進來吧
Did we leave the music on? 我們走時沒關音樂嗎?
Hey. Shh. 小聲點
Don't make any sudden movements. 不要做任何有聲音的動作
- Unh. Whoa! - Aah! 你他X是誰? 你是誰?
- Who the hell are you? - No, who are you?
MAN: Quiet, quiet. 安靜 安靜
Mike Tyson? 麥克.泰森??
Shh. This is my favorite part coming up right now. 噓 我最喜歡的橋段就要到了
[MIKE SINGING "IN THE AIR TONIGHT"]
Need a chorus line, guys. 來點和聲 夥計們
[SINGING CHORUS]
[CONTINUES SINGING]
One more time, guys. 再來一次
[SINGING CHORUS]
PHIL: Oh, Jesus! 噢 老天!
Oh, fuck! 見鬼
Why did you do that? 你幹嘛?
Mr. Tyson would like to know why is his tiger in your bathroom. 泰森先生想知道為什麼他的老虎在你浴室裡
Hold on, that was completely unnecessary. 等等 你沒必要這樣
I'm a huge fan. When you knocked out Holmes, that was... 我是您的粉絲您擊倒何姆斯的時候...
Explain. 解釋給我聽
All right, look, we were drugged last night. We have no memory of what happened. 是這樣的 我們昨晚被人下藥了 我們不記得發生什麼事
STU: It's true. 真的
We got in all kinds of trouble last night and now we can't find our friend. 我們昨晚麻煩連連 現在連我朋友都找不到了
If you wanna kill us, go ahead because I don't care anymore. 如果你要殺了我們 來吧 無所謂了
- What are you talking about? - I don't care. 你在鬼扯什麼? 我不在乎
Why the fuck would you wanna steal his tiger? 你他X的為什麼要偷他的老虎?
We tend to do dumb shit when we're fucked up. 人頭昏的時候什麼事都幹得出來
- I don't believe these guys, man. - Wait, how did you guys find us? 我不相信這些傢伙 等等 你們怎麼找到我們的?
One of you dropped your jacket. Found it in the tigers' cage this morning. 你們有人丟了外套 今早在虎籠裡發現的
That's Doug's. 那是道格的
Yeah, Doug. His wallet and his room key is in there. 嗯 是道格 他口袋裡有錢包和房門鑰匙
- No, that's our missing friend. LEONARD: I don't give a fuck. 他就是我們失蹤的朋友 我才不鳥
- Did you guys see him? MIKE: I was fast asleep. 你們見到他了嗎? 我很容易睡著
Because if he was up, this wouldn't have gone down so smoothly. 要是他沒睡著 這事也成不了
Maybe one of the tigers ate his ass like Omar. 也許他想奧馬一樣被一隻老虎給吃了
Respect. 默哀
Wha... What happened to Omar? 什麼...奧馬怎麼了?
Oh, don't worry about Omar, he's not with us no more. 別管奧馬了 他已經離開我們了
Okay, I know this is asking a lot... 冒昧問一下...
...but do you think we could go to your house and look around... 能不能去您家裡看看...
...see if there's any clues? 有沒有什麼線索之類的?
Absolutely. How else you think we're gonna get the tiger back anyway? 當然 要不然你覺得我們怎麼把老虎搞回去?
- Come on, champ. - I'm sorry? 走吧 冠軍 您說什??
We're not gonna put it in the Bentley. You brought it here, you bring it back. 我們才不會把它用賓特利載回去 你們弄來的 你們搞回去
What you think, about 40 minutes? 你想...四十分鐘夠嗎?
Don't make me come back for him. 別讓我再回來找他
- That was Mike Tyson. - Yeah, no shit that was Mike Tyson. 真是麥克?泰森 沒錯 絕對是
I'm just saying, he's still got it. 他威風不減當年啊
PHIL: Alan. 艾倫
Bud, are you okay? 你沒事吧
STU: Oh, my God. - Shit! 我的天 XXX
Fuck, where'd he get him? XX 打哪裡了?
Hey. 嘿
STU: This does not seem fair. 這不公平
PHIL: It's Rock, Paper, Scissors. There's nothing more fair. 沒有比剪刀石頭布更公平的了
- Alan should do it. - Alan took a punch from Mike Tyson. 該艾倫上 艾倫挨了泰森一拳
Come on. For Doug. 上吧 為了道格
Why are you peppering the steak? You don't know if tigers like pepper. 你為什麼牛排上撒胡椒?你怎麼知道老虎喜不喜歡
Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon. 老虎喜歡胡椒 它討厭肉桂.
Phil, just do it. You should do it. 去吧 菲爾 你上
I would, but you lost. It wouldn't be right. 我沒問題啊但你輸了 這樣不對吧
Okay, I jammed five roofies in there. 好了 我放了五粒約會藥丸進去
Just go in there and throw it in to him. 進去丟給它就可以了
Fine. 好吧
Make sure he eats the whole thing. 確定要讓他吃光
Fuck. 日
Oh, fuck. 日
Hey, kitty. 嗨...貓咪
Hey, sweetie, it's okay. I got a little snack for you. 沒事的寶貝 我給你拿了點點心
Real important that you eat this, okay? 一定得吃噢...OK?
Yeah, just have a little... 對 就一點...
[TIGER ROARING] 虎嘯!
[SCREAMS] 鬼叫!!!
Shit! 哇列
[PANTING]
What do we do now? 現在怎麼辦?
We wait. 等著
[SINGING] What do tigers dream of # 老虎打盹的時候
When they take a little tiger snooze? # 想的是什??
Do they dream of mauling zebras # 是撕咬斑馬呢
Or Halle Berry in her catwoman suit? # 還是穿貓女裝的荷莉?貝瑞?
Don't you worry your pretty striped head # 別擔心你漂亮的斑紋腦袋
We're gonna get you back to Tyson And your cozy tiger bed # 我們會把你還給泰森 讓你回到溫暖的虎床
And then we're gonna find Our best friend Doug # 然後我們就去找好朋友道格
And then we're gonna give him A best-friend hug # 然後給他一個好朋友的擁抱
Doug # 道格
Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug # 道格 小道格
But if he's been murdered By crystal-meth tweakers # 但你要是被癮君子謀殺了
[TIGER GROANS AND THUDS]
Well, then we're shit out of luck # 那就太倒霉了
By the way, we're all gonna die. 對了 我們都得死
ALAN: Wait. 等等
PHIL: Oh, God. ALAN: Watch it! 噢天 看吶!
STU: His nose. That's his nose. 他的鼻子 那是他的鼻子
Please don't stop. Please don't stop. 別停 千萬別停
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] 千萬別...XXX
Please don't... Goddamn it.
DAD: I'm gonna beat you! Ha-ha-ha. 我要揍你...
Oh... He won again. 他又贏了
[TIGER GROWLING]
- Hey, fellas. Rough night? STU: Mm-hm. 夥伴們 難受的一晚 嗯
Sweetie, stay close to Mama. 寶貝 靠媽媽近一點
- What's this? - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 這什麼?
Take it easy, little man. You don't wanna be touching that. 輕鬆點 小朋友 你不想碰他的
No, partner, that's not your property. 不 那不是你的財產
So, what do you guys got under there? 你們底下都放了些什麼?
Just a whole bunch of "mind your own business." 只是一些叫 '少管我' 的東西
STU: Easy, Phil. - He's correct. My fault. 放輕鬆...菲爾 他說的對 我的錯
- You okay? - Aren't we riding an elevator? 還好嗎 我們不是要搭電梯?
Why, is this Jeopardy? What the fuck is this bullshit? 為什麼? 這危險嗎? 這算什麼??
- Please, with the language. - Yes. 拜託 注意一下修辭 好的
- I fully agree. - Oh. 我完全同意
Hey, guys, when's the next Halley's comet? 各位 什麼時候能看到下次哈雷彗星?
- Who cares, man? - Do you know, Stu? 管他呢 你知道嗎 斯圖?
I don't think it's for, like, another 60 years or something. 估計六十年之內不會有了吧
- But it's not tonight, right? - No, I don't think so. 但今晚不會有吧? 應該不會
But you don't know for sure? 你也不能確定吧?
No. 不能
I got this cousin who saw one. He said it blew his mind. 我有個侄子看到過 嚇呆了
I wanna make sure I never, ever miss out on a Halley's Comet. 我絕對不能錯過哈雷彗星
So if you guys know if there's gonna be one... 所以你們要是知道什麼時候...
Oh, fuck!
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY & TIGER ROARING]
[SCREAMING]
[CAR HORNS HONKING]
- Oh, my God! PHIL: Fuck it! 天啊XXX
Stu! Stu, it got me! Stu! 斯圖!斯圖 他咬我了!
You got clawed! You're bleeding! 你被抓...流血了!
- Oh. ALAN: I'm panicking. 太可怕了
- Aah! PHIL: Oh, my God. 我的天
Okay. Okay, okay. Wait, hold on. 沒事 沒事 撐住
[GROWLING]
[GROWLS]
- I can't do it. PHIL: Get your fucking hand back in there... 我不行了 你趕緊把他X的手放回去
...and steer the car. - I'm too nervous. 握好方向盤 我太緊張了
STU: Alan. We need you, buddy. This is your time to shine, okay? 我們需要你 艾倫 是你發揮作用的時候了
Okay, yeah. Whew. 沒問題
Daddy's gonna kill me. 老爸會殺了我的
- That's it. PHIL: That's good. 沒錯 很好
Keep it straight. 直直走
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- You're late. - Whatever, man. 你們來晚了 好歹是來了
We had to push it the last mile. 最後一英哩我們是推車過來的
Come on in. Mike's got something he wants to show you. 進來吧 麥克有東西要給你們看
[TIGER GROANING]
That thing's out of control, man. Seriously, you gotta put it down. 那東西失控了 你們得讓他安靜點
When we got back, we took a look at the security cameras. 我們回來以後看了一下保全攝影機
Great. 太好了
PHIL [ON VIDEO]: This is how you walk. This is how you walk. 看看你的衰樣 看看
- Oh, it's Doug. - Oh, thank God he's alive. 噢 是道格 謝天謝地他還活著
That's our buddy. That's who we've been missing. 我們在找的就是他
We're all best friends. 我們幾個是好朋友
Why don't you just pay attention? I don't have all night. 你們認真點看行不? 我沒那麼多時間陪你們
Yeah, of course. Of course. 當然 沒問題
STU: What are you doing? ALAN: Hey, guys. Check it out. Watch this. 你這是在幹嗎? 哥們 看吶 快看
That's me, I'm on TV. I've never been on TV before. 我上電視了 我以前從沒上過
DOUG: What are you doing, man? 你那是在幹嗎?
Really? Really, Alan? 不是吧 艾倫?
DOUG: You got a fire hose, man? 有沒有消防水管?
Yeah, I was, uh... 那個 我...
[DOUG LAUGHING ON VIDEO]
STU: You're gonna overflow the pool, man. You're gonna overflow the pool man. 你都快成
- Maybe... Should I wait outside? - I think that's a good idea, Alan. 我是不是...該去外面等著? 我覺得這樣很好 艾倫
ALAN: Yeah. 嗯
Don't touch anything out there, either. 在外面也別到處亂摸
You know what? He's not our good fr... We don't know him that well. 其實他不是我們的朋友...我們不是很熟
PHIL: Come on. Come on, come on. 快點 快點
By the way, where you get that cop car from? 對了 你們哪裡搞的警車?
We, uh, stole it from these dumb-ass cops. 這個 從那些白癡警察那裡偷的
Nice. 很不錯
[LAUGHING]
High five that one. 擊掌!
Yeah, that's nice. 真有種
PHIL: You know, I just have to say... 不得不說
...I have never seen a more beautiful, elegant, just regal creature. 我從沒見過如此優雅美麗華貴的動物
PHIL: Check it out. Stu. Stu. Fuck this tiger. 看看 我在搞老虎
STU: Oh, my God. That's awful. MIKE: Oh, man. 上帝 太可怕了 天吶
[STU LAUGHING ON VIDEO] 我靠這種事誰幹得出來?
PHIL [OVER TV]: Oh, shit. - Who does shit like that, man?
Someone who has a lot of issues, obviously. I'm a sick man. 有毛病的人 顯然我有病
DOUG: Oh, my God. 上帝啊
That's all we got. 就這些了
This was hugely helpful. 真是幫大忙了
Really. Because now we know that our buddy Doug... 真的 現在我們知道道格...
...was with us at 3:30, totally alive. 三點半的時候還和我們在一起 活蹦亂跳的
Thanks again, champ. And, uh, again, we are so sorry we stole your tiger. 多謝了 冠軍 還有 很抱歉偷了你的老虎
Don't worry about it, man. 沒關係 兄弟
Like you said, we all do dumb shit when we're fucked up. 你也說過 人頭昏的時候什麼都能幹得出來
[LAUGHING]
- I told you he'd get it. - I did say that. 我跟你說過他會理解的 沒錯
You know, everyone says Mike Tyson is such a badass... 大家都說麥克?泰森是個溷蛋...
...but I think he's kind of a sweetheart. 但我覺得他人蠻好的
I think he's mean. 我覺得他太刻薄了
All right. I think it's officially time we call Tracy. 好吧 現在該給特蕾西打電話了
Hallelujah. Finally, Phil says something that makes sense. 哈利路亞 菲爾終於說了一句人話
We don't have much of a choice. And maybe she's heard from Doug. 現在沒什麼辦法了 也許她有道格的消息呢
That's what I been saying this whole time. 我一直都這麼說
We just need to be completely honest. We need to tell her everything. 我們必須百分百誠實地告訴她一切
We don't have to tell her everything. We can leave out the stuff... 沒必要全說 比如...
...about me marrying a hooker. 我跟妓女結婚那部分
Just stay focused on Doug. 只要專注在道格的部分
- What am I gonna tell my dad? - Alan, relax. It's just the inside. 我該怎麼跟我爸說? 沒事啦 艾倫 都是內裝的小問題
Come on. I got a guy in L.A. Who's great with interiors. 我在洛杉磯有朋友 搞這個很在行的
[SCREAMING]
[PHIL, ALAN & STU GRUNTING]
[PHIL COUGHING]
- Oh, Jesus! STU: Oh, my God. 我的天...
- Are you guys okay? PHIL: What the fuck? 你們沒事吧? 這又怎樣
I know that guy. That's the guy from the trunk. 我認識後車廂裡那傢伙
Get out of the car. Please. 請出來
STU: W... W... Wait. Those are the guys that shot Eddie. 等等...那些是向艾迪開槍的傢伙
[SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 聽著... 我們走!
- Listen... MAN 1: Let's go! 好吧 不是吧
- Okay. - Oh, no.
STU: Easy, easy. MAN 2: Come on. 別衝動 快點
PHIL: Okay. All right. 好 好
- All right, all right. MAN 2: Let's go. 好的 好的 走
Hey, relax. Ow. Ow. Ow! 輕點 啊!
- I have whiplash. - Get this other fat boy. 我扭傷了 還有那個胖子
Get the fat boy. 還有那個胖子
ALAN: Hey, hey, hey. 嘿
PHIL: All right, all right. STU: Hey, take it easy, take it easy! 聽你的 聽你的 冷靜點 冷靜點
I want my purse back, assholes. 還我錢包 溷蛋
- What? Your purse? - That's not a purse, it's a satchel. 什麼?你的錢包? 那不是錢包 是肩包
It's a purse. Okay? And you steal from wrong guy. 就是錢包 好吧? 你偷錯人了
Wait a second, wait a second. We stole from you? 等等 你說我們偷你的?
Okay, you know what? 知道不?
We don't remember anything that happened last night... 昨晚的事情我們一點都不記得了
...so help us out a little here. 所以你不妨提示我們一下
Well, apparently you guys met at a craps table late last night. 顯然我們昨晚坐同一張賭桌
You were on a heater, and he played your hot streak. 你坐在暖氣上 他運氣很好
- He ended up winning just under 80 grand. - No shit? Eighty grand is nice. 最後贏了差不多八萬塊 真的?? 八萬很好啊
Okay, that's good. 很好啊
He put the chips in his purse, and then you guys took off with it. 他把籌碼放在錢包裡 然後你們幾個就拿走了
That doesn't sound like us. 聽起來不像我們的作風
Mine had $80,000 inside. And this one? Nothing. 我的裡面有八萬塊 這裡面呢?啥也沒有
Hey, there are Skittles in there. 嘿 裡面有綺果彩虹糖呢
Ow! Oh, not again. 噢!別再打了
[LAUGHING] 別看他滿臉鬍子 其實他是個小孩
Don't let the beard fool you. He's a child.
It's funny because he's fat. 我笑是因為他好胖
Now, look, this was obviously a very simple misunderstanding. 顯然 這只是個簡單的誤會
Alan picked up the wrong purse, it's no big deal. 艾倫拿錯了錢包 沒什麼大不了的
Okay, if it's, "No big deal," why, when I come after you guys... 好 要是"沒什麼大不了" 那為什麼我找到你們的時候
...he starts screaming like crazy and throw me in trunk? 他就開始大聲鬼叫 然後把我扔進後車廂?
What, I did that? 什麼 我幹的?
Yeah, you said he was your lucky charm, and you want to take him home with you. 對 你說他是你的幸運符... 所以你想帶他回家
[PHIL AND STU LAUGH]
- Lucky charm. - Oh, it's just funny. 幸運符 真搞笑
[LAUGHING]
Fuck you. 我靠
If you want to see your friend again, you get me my 80 grand. 如果還想見到你們的朋友 就還我八萬塊
- What? - Our friend? 什麼? 我們的朋友?
- You have Doug? PHIL: You know about our friend? 道格在你那裡? 你認識我們的朋友?
[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
- Doug! - Doug! 道格! 道格!
- Doug's in the car! Doug's in the car! - Doug, it's okay! 道格在車裡!道格在車裡! 道格 沒事的!
You chill out, goatee! 冷靜點 山羊鬍子!
- Okay, okay. All right, fine, fine. - What do you want? 好好 沒問題 你要什麼?
Not so good now. Quid pro quo, douche bag. 互惠互利 呆子
What? 什麼?
Look, we're very sorry. But this is an easy fix. 這事我們很抱歉 不過很容易解決
- Alan, where's his purse? - I don't know. 艾倫 他錢包在哪裡? 我不知道
- It's in the hotel room, right? - Yeah, we can get it. 在飯店房間裡對吧? 嗯 我們能找到
We can get you the... We can even write you a check right now. 錢沒問題 現在開張支票都可以
No chance. Cash only. 不行 只收現金
- There's a person in there. CHOW: Boring. 車裡有個人呢! 無聊
[YAWNS]
Take nap. Come on. 回去睡覺
Wait. I'm sorry we're boring you! 不好意思讓你無聊了
PHIL: Doug, it's okay. - You kidnapped our friend! Kidnapper! 沒事的 道格 你綁架了我們的朋友!綁匪!
PHIL: Wait. STU: Oh, no. You're not going anywhere. 等一下 不行 你哪裡也不能去
Stop. 停
Stop. Run me over. 停下 有本事從我身上開過來
- Okay. Whoa. Whoa. PHIL: Stu, Stu, Stu. 好的 噢... 斯圖 斯圖
Bring money to Big Rock in Mojave Desert at dawn. 黃昏時分帶錢去莫哈維沙漠的大石頭等著
- What? - Toodle-oo, motherfucker. 什麼? 回頭見 溷蛋
Well, at least take the bag off his head! Fuck! 好歹把他頭上的袋子拿下來啊!XX!
Oh! 哦
Come on, get out of here. 趕緊離開
Guys, I'm telling you, I looked for it this morning before we left. It's not anywhere. 跟你們說了 我早上走之前找遍了 不在這裡
Fuck. 操
Stu, how much you got in the bank? 斯圖 你有多少存款?
About 10 grand. I was gonna use it for the wedding. 差不多一萬 準備結婚用的
You're already married, so we're good there. 你都結婚了 現在可以用了
Besides, enough with Melissa, she's the worst. 再說 別再忍梅麗莎了 他很糟
Yeah, Doug told me she had sex with a pilot or something. 是啊道格跟我說過 她跟個飛行員還是什麼的上過床
It was a bartender on a cruise. What is wrong with you people? 那是郵輪上的酒保 你們這些人怎麼搞的?
- Ew. Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza? - Yes. 靠艾倫 你又在撿吃剩的比薩? 嗯
What are we gonna do? We are so fucked. 怎麼辦?這下慘了
ALAN: Hey, guys? 大伙...
- Did you find it? - Nope. 你找到了? 不是
But check this out. 看看這個
Change only, 10,000. 換籌碼 一萬
- Hey, uh, these seats taken? - No, feel free. 嗨 這裡有人嗎? 自便
All right, let's play some blackjack! 好啊我們來玩21點!
[YELLING AND WHOOPING]
That's it. Shut up, bitches. 爽!真他媽的爽!
Hmm.
- I'll stick. - Oh, fuck you! Fuck you! 我跟 我日啊!
Splitting fives. 分牌
- Too many. - Yes! 爆了 好!
[JADE MOANING]
I don't even know you, but I'm gonna tell you that's dumb. 雖然我倆素不相識 但你這次肯定完蛋
- Yes! JADE: Oh! 好!
Okay, come on. He can't lose. He can't lose. 上啊他輸不起 他輸不起
I think the pit boss is watching him. 他好像被賭場經理盯上了
[WHOOPING]
[JADE LAUGHING]
[SHRIEKING]
[JADE GROANING] 上帝啊你沒事吧?
- Oh, my God. - Are you okay? 我真弱 一賭博就緊張 太可悲了
I'm such a klutz. I get so nervous when I gamble. I'm so silly.
- It happens. - Whoa. Hold on a beat, okay? 這事常有 喂 慢一點點好不好?
- Let's just take it easy. This is my wife. - It's hurting. 慢慢來 這是我老婆 好痛
STU: Make sure... Does it hurt? Does this hurt? 確認一下...這裡痛嗎?這裡呢?
- Oh, ow. - You all right? 你沒事吧?
JADE: I don't know. - I don't know either. I don't... 我不知道 我也不知道 我...
I think you're fine. Let's go. 看來你沒事了 走吧
- Really? Okay. STU: Upsy-daisy, there. 真的?好吧 準備起來 來...
I'm sorry, she's had a little too much to drink. 不好意思 她喝多了
Thanks, buddy. That's for you. 多謝了 兄弟 該謝你才是
STU: And 100, 200, 300, 400. 一百 兩百 三百 四百
With all this, that's $82,400. 加上這些 一共八萬兩千四
- Oh, goddamn it. I don't fucking believe it. - Whoo! XX 真不敢相信
- Alan, you're the man. - You are too, Phil. 艾倫 你真行 你也是 菲爾
We should come back next week, take the whole city down. 我們應該下周再來 橫掃拉斯維加斯
Oh, I'm free next week. 我下周正好有空
Or we could just focus on getting Doug back, right now. 不如先說說怎麼找回道格吧
Uh, you know what? Next week's no good, the Jonas Brothers are in town. 不對 下周不行 喬納斯兄弟要來
But any week after that is totally fine. 但之後任何一個週末都可以
I think it's safe to say that our luck has officially turned around, guys. 我覺得現在可以說我們轉運了
- We are back, baby. We are fucking back. - We're back. Classic. 我們他X的回來了 我們回來了 經典
[SINGING] We are back, we are back 我們回來了 回來了
PHIL: That's right. 沒錯
We are getting Doug back 我們要把道格找回來
And we're the three best friends That anybody could have # 我們是三個最好的朋友
We're the three best friends That anyone could have # 我們是三個最好的朋友
We're the three best friends That anyone can have # 我們是三個最好的朋友
And we'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever Leave each other # 我們永遠 永遠不分開
We're the best three friends That anybody could have # 我們是三個最好的朋友
I mean, the three best friends That anybody could have # 我們是三個最好的朋友
That's right, the three best friends That anybody can have # 我們是三個最好的朋友
PHIL: Now what? - Give him the signal. 現在怎麼辦? 給他發信號
- What signal? - Flash your lights. Let him know it's on. 什麼信號? 閃大燈 讓他們知道開始行動
- What's on? - The deal. 開始什麼行動? 交易
Of course it's on. We just drove 30 miles into the desert. He knows it's on. 當然可以了 我們開車30英哩來這沙漠 他當然知道交易開始了
Phil, just do something. 菲爾 趕快
Fine. 好吧
- Oh, shit. ALAN: See? X 看見沒?
All right, let's go. 好吧 我們上
[ALAN GRUNTING]
[LAUGHING]
Funny fat guy fall on face. 死胖子臉朝地真搞笑
You okay? 還好嗎?
All right, we got the money. Eighty grand, cash. 錢我們拿到了 八萬 現金
Throw it over. Then I give you Doug. 扔過來 然後我把道格給你
Um, I'm sorry. First of all, good morning. And we didn't catch your name last night. 很抱歉 首先 早上好 昨晚還沒聽清楚怎麼稱呼
Mr. Chow. Leslie Chow. 周先生 萊斯利?周
Mr. Chow, it is a pleasure. My name is Stu. 周先生 幸會 我叫斯圖
And we would very much appreciate an opportunity to see Doug... 如果能在給錢之前見到道格 我們會十分感激
...before we give you the money, just to verify that he's okay. 只是想確認他好不好
- Lf that's cool. - Of course, Stu. That is cool. 如果可以的話 當然可以 斯圖
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
- Oh, thank God. - Okay. 謝天謝地 好
See, he fine. Now give me money... 看 沒事吧 給錢
...or I shoot him, and I shoot all you motherfuckers. 要不我就斃了他 還有你們這些溷賬
And then we take it. Your choice, bitches. 然後錢還是我的 看你們怎麼選XX
- Give him the money, Stu. - Okay. 給他錢 斯圖 好吧
MAN: It's all there. - Let him go. 都在 放了他
All right, take it easy. Take it easy. 慢慢來 慢慢來
CHOW: Ta-da.
[STU SHOUTS] 開玩笑嗎?這他X是誰?
Is this some kind ofjoke? Who the hell is this?
That is not Doug. 這不是道格
What you talking about, Willis? That him. 扯什麼蛋呢 這就是他啊
No, I'm sorry, Mr. Chow. That's not our friend. 抱歉 周先生 這不是我們的朋友
- He... That's... - The Doug we're looking for is a white. 他... 我們找的是白人
Ah! I told you you had the wrong guy, little boy. 我告訴你抓錯人了 小子
Damn, Alan, what the fuck you got me into? 我靠艾倫 你他媽的幹了什麼好事?
- You know him? - This is the guy that sold me the bad drugs. 你認得他? 這就是賣我黑心藥的傢伙!
- How you doing? - I didn't sell you no fucking bad drugs. 你好嗎? 我沒賣給你他X的黑心藥啊!
- Wait. He sold you the Ruphylin? - Ruphylin? I sold you that Ru...? Wha...? 等等 他賣的你路福林? 路福林?我賣你路什麼鳥?
- Who gives a shit? Where is Doug? - I am Doug. 誰他X管這個 道格呢? 我就是道格
- Your name's Doug? - Yes, I'm Doug. 你叫道格? 是啊我就是道格
His name's Doug too. Ha. Classic mix-up. 他也叫道格 哈 經典的誤會
Come on. 走吧
- Hey, Chow. You gave us the wrong Doug. - Not my problem. 嘿 周 這不是我們要的道格 不關我事
No, fuck that shit. Now, you give us our 80 grand back and take him with you! 我X 八萬塊錢還我 帶他回去!
- No. Come on. I'll be your Doug. - Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, I take him back. 帶我走吧 好 我帶他回去
Right after you suck on these little Chinese nuts. 不過你先來嘗嘗我的中國小LP
- Ah. That's nasty. - Mmm. How that sound? 啊超惡 聽起來怎麼樣啊?
Unh, pshh.
- So long, gay boys. - Wait a second. 回見 你們這幫同性戀 等等
DOUG: He's a nasty little motherfucker. 他就是個賤貨
Did you ever get any ecstasy? 你還有沒有搖頭丸?
DOUG: No, I ain't got no fucking ecstasy. 我他媽的才沒有什?搖頭丸
- Goddamn it! ALAN: Gosh darn it! 你他X的...
- Shit! ALAN: Shoot! 靠X
[PHONE LINE RINGING]
[COUGHS] 喂? 特蕾西 我是菲爾
TRACY [OVER PHONE]: Hello? - Ahem, Tracy, it's Phil.
Phil, where the hell are you guys? I'm freaking out. 菲爾 你們幾個在哪裡?我都快抓狂了
PHIL: Yeah, listen. 是這樣的
We fucked up. 我們現在一團糟
Thanks for the lift back to town. 謝謝帶我回來
- I got a question for you. - What's up? 我有個疑問 什麼?
How did you wind up in Chow's car? 你怎麼會在周的車裡?
That crazy asshole kidnapped me yesterday. 那瘋子昨天綁架了我
Okay, but why? I mean, why you? 好 但為什麼?為什麼是你?
He thought I was with you guys because we were hanging over at the Bellagio. 他看到我們一起在百樂吉 就以為我們是一夥的
- What? - We were at the Bellagio? 什麼? 我們在百樂吉見過?
We were shooting craps. You don't remember? 我們在一起吹牛 不記得了?
No. No, we don't remember. 不 不記得了
Because some dick drug dealer sold him Ruphylin and told him it was ecstasy. 因為一個無恥的毒販 把路福林當作搖頭丸賣給了他
Ruphylin. There you go with that word. Ruphylin. What the hell is a Ruphylin? 路福林 又來了 路福林是什麼東東?
Wow, you are the world's shittiest drug dealer. 沒見過比你更蠢的毒販
Ruphylin, for your information, is the date-rape drug. You sold Alan roofies. 跟你說 路福林就是迷姦藥 你賣給艾倫的
Oh, shit. I must have mixed up the bags. My fault, Alan. 靠一定是搞錯袋子了 對不起 艾倫
Damn, Marshall gonna be pissed off at me on that one. 干 這件事馬歇爾一定要K死我了
- Whatever. - It's funny, because just the other day... 管你呢 真有意思 因為就在前天
...me and my boy, we was wondering why they even call them roofies. 我和朋友還在奇怪為什麼它被叫做屋頂丸
- You know what I'm talking about? - No. Don't know. 你知道我的意思吧 不 不懂
Why not floories, right? Because when you take them... 為什麼不叫地板丸 是吧? 因為吃了以後...
...you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. 你應該倒在地板上 而不是屋頂上
What about groundies? That's a good new name for them. 或者馬路丸?這名字不錯
Or, how about rapies? 或者強姦丸
- Wait, what did you just say? - Rapies. 等等 你剛才說什麼? 強姦丸
- Not you. Doug, what did you say before? - I said groundies. 不是說你 道格 你剛才說什麼? 我說馬路丸
No, before that. 不...之前
You said, "You're more likely to wind up on the floor than..." 你說 "應該倒在地板上而不是..."
- Phil. - Listen, Trace, I'm really sorry. L... 菲爾 是這樣 特蕾西 很抱歉...
[GRUNTING]
TRACY [OVER PHONE]: Phil? Hello? - Tracy, it's Stu. 菲爾?還在嗎? 特蕾西 我是斯圖
Stu. Talk to me. What's going on? 斯圖 趕緊說 怎麼了?
Uh, nothing. Don't listen to Phil. 噢 沒事 別聽菲爾的
He's completely out of his mind. He's probably still drunk from last night. 他腦子出問題了 可能昨晚喝的現在還沒醒
Where's Doug? 道格呢?
STU: He is paying the bill. We just had a delicious brunch. 他正在買單 我們剛吃了一頓豐盛的早午飯
We're in a hurry to get back, so we gotta get going. 我們正趕回去呢 所以先掛了
- Okay, we'll see you soon. Bye. - Stu. 好吧 一會兒見 拜拜 斯圖
Stu. Fuck. 操
- What the fuck, man? - I know where Doug is. 搞什麼飛機 兄弟? 我知道道格在哪裡了
STU: I don't know, man. It just hit me. 不知道怎麼的 靈感就來了
You remember when we saw Doug's mattress impaled on that statue? 記不記得看到道格的床墊掛在凋像上
- Yeah, we threw it out the window. - No, impossible. 是啊我們從窗戶扔出來的 不可能
- You can't open windows in Vegas hotels. - Well, then how did it get...? 拉斯維加斯的酒店都不能開窗戶 那它是怎麼...?
- Oh, my God! - Ha, ha, ha. 哦 我的天! 哈哈
- Whoa, wait. What's going on? - Doug was trying to signal someone. 等等 怎麼了? 那是道格發出的信號
- Holy shit. STU: Yes. 哇列 沒錯
- Wait. How did you figure that out? - Doug made me realize it. 等等 你怎麼想出來的? 道格提醒了我
- Doug? - Uh, not our Doug. Black Doug. 道格? 不是我們的道格 黑...道格
- Hey, hey, easy with that shit. Come on. - Sorry. 喂 嘴巴放乾淨點 抱歉
Can someone tell me where white Doug is? 誰能告訴我白道格在哪裡?
- He's on the roof, Alan. - Yes. 他在樓頂上 艾倫 沒錯
He's on the roof. We must have taken him up there as a prank... 他在樓頂上 我們一定是想整他 所以把他和床墊扛了上去
...so he'd wake up on the roof. - Like that time in summer camp. 讓他醒來下不來 像那次在夏令營一樣
We moved his sleeping bag out in the jetty at the lake? 他睡在睡袋裡 我們把他拖到了湖邊的碼頭?
Ha, ha, ha. Which was hilarious. 哈哈 那次太好玩了
It's not so funny now, though, because we forgot where we put him. 不過這次沒什麼好玩了 因為我們忘了把他扔哪裡了
You guys are retarded, you know that? 你們知道嗎...你們真白癡
- Holy shit. You think he's still up there? - There's only one way to find out. 我靠他現在還在上面? 只有一個辦法能知道
PHIL: Doug! 道格!
Doug! 道格!
- Doug! PHIL: Doug, you up here, buddy? 道格! 你在哪兒 夥計?
Where you at, Doug? 你在哪裡 道格?
Doug! 道格
Hey, guys! 嘿...兄弟們
He's over here! 他在那裡!
ALAN: Hey, I found him! He's over here! - Oh, shit. 找到他了!在那裡! 我X
He's okay. 他沒事
You're okay. Ha, ha, ha! 你沒事 哈哈!
Oh, God. We gotta go, buddy. Come on. 我們走吧 哥們 走
Oh, we have been looking everywhere for you. 我們到處找你
- He's alive. - What the fuck is going on? 他還活著 這他X的是怎麼回事?
We can explain everything, but right now we gotta go. 一切都清楚了 不過現在要趕緊離開
- Hey, bud. You okay? - No. Not okay. 你沒事吧 兄弟? 不 有事
You look good, you got some color. I'm jealous. 你看起來不錯啊都曬黑了 嫉妒死了
- I'm getting married today. - Yes, you are. 我今天要結婚了 沒錯.
That's why you need to focus and do everything we say. 所以大家聽我的 趕緊走
Because, frankly, you're wasting a little bit of time right now. 說實話 現在我們是在浪費時間了
You fucking asshole! 溷蛋
[GRUNTING]
[WHIMPERING] 我身上好燙!皮膚好燙!
Oh, my skin burns. My skin burns.
Oh, ow! God. 我的天
- It's okay. It's not your fault, Doug. - Don't touch me. Shut up. 沒事了 這不是你的錯 道格 別碰我 閉嘴
All of you, shut up. 你們全給我閉嘴
Just get me home. 帶我回去
Mm-hm. 嗯嗯
Just get me home. 快帶我回去
STU: What about the one after that? 之後那班呢?
You cannot be serious. 不會吧
Oh, goddamn it. X的
- What? - Every flight to L.A. Is booked. 什麼!!! 去洛杉磯的航班都客滿了
- What about Burbank? - Sold out. 去伯班克的呢? 也賣完了
Oh, fuck! We can't drive there, the wedding starts in three and a half hours. 我X!開車去來不及啊婚禮三個半小時後就開始了
- Alan, where's the car? ALAN: It's on its way. 艾倫 車在哪裡? 馬上就來
You know what? 你知道嗎
We can drive there. We can make it. Okay? 我們能開回去 沒問題的
Hi. 嗨
- Just give me one second. PHIL: We will leave without you. 等我一下 我們要先走了
- Is he missing a tooth? - Yeah. 他少了一顆牙? 對
[LAUGHS]
STU: Hey. - Hey. 嘿 嘿
Hey, thanks for helping out last night. That was so awesome. 昨晚多謝了 真的好棒
Sure. 不客氣
Listen, Jade, l... 聽著 潔德...
Look, you don't have to say it. I totally understand. 你不用說 我也知道
- This whole thing was stupid. - Huh. 這整件事真傻 是啊
It was stupid, wasn't it? 真是太傻了 對吧?
- This is yours. - Oh, thank you. 這是你的 噢 謝謝
I can't believe I gave my grandmother's Holocaust ring to someone I just met. 真不敢相信 我把我祖母的大屠殺戒指 給了一個剛認識的人
- What was I thinking? - You were really fucked up. 我到底是在想什麼? 搞得太過火了
Clearly. 的確
- You did pull out your own tooth. - L...? 你的確是自己把牙拔下來的 什麼?
I pulled out my tooth? 我自己拔的牙?
Why did I pull out my own tooth? 我拔自己的牙齒幹嘛?
Alan bet you that you weren't a good enough dentist... 艾倫打賭說你這個蹩腳牙醫
...to pull out your own tooth. 不敢拔自己的牙齒
Okay. Heh. 這樣
- Of course he did. - You won. 真有他的 你贏了
Yeah. Clearly. Yeah. 沒錯 顯然
That's victory, right there. 這就是我勝利的標誌
ALAN: It needs to go down. 得壓下去
- It's good. Get in. - No. Safety first. 行了 進來吧 不行 安全第一
- Alan, it's fine. It's down. - No, I gotta get it down first. 艾倫 沒事啦 壓下去了 不行 還不夠
PHIL: Jesus Christ. Look out. - Don't mess the car up. 上帝 看著點 別把車搞壞了
You're gonna mess the car up. 你這樣會把車搞壞
- Hey, what are you doing next weekend? - I don't know. Working. Why? 那個 你下週末幹嘛? 不知道 工作吧 怎麼了?
I was thinking maybe I'd come back and take you out to dinner. 我想也許我該回來帶你共進晚餐
Really? Like a date? 真的?像約會那樣?
Yeah. Like a date. Only, one that hopefully I'll remember. 沒錯 算約會 只不過希望這次我能記得
Sounds good. 聽起來不錯
- Stu. Come on. - Stu. Come on. 走啦 斯圖 走啦
I gotta go. Okay. Bye. 我得走了 好 再見
[LAUGHING]
- Bye. - Bye. 再見 再見
All right, here we go. 好了 走吧
- All right, let's go. - Yeah. 走咯 耶
Careful. 小心
At least the trip wasn't a total disaster. 至少這次旅行孩有點收穫
- What makes you say that? - When I woke up on the roof... 你這麼說什麼意思? 我在樓頂上醒來之後...
...I happened to find $80,000 worth of Bellagio chips in my pocket. 意外發現口袋裡有價值八萬的百樂吉籌碼
- Oh! STU: Oh, my God! 噢 我的天
Looks like we're going home with some money, boys. 看來我們還能帶點錢回去 兄弟們
[ALL WHOOPING]
[HORN HONKING]
ALAN: Here he comes. That's him. 他來了 是他
- Hey, Neeco! NEECO: Hey. What's up, Alan? 喂 尼克 還好吧 艾倫?
STU: Whoo! 喔
- Whoa, look out. - Oh, shit. 喔 小心 靠
ALAN: Whoa! Whoa! 哇哦
- Thanks, Neeco. NEECO: You got it, man. 多謝 尼克 小意思 老哥
ALAN: Page me! NEECO: Adi𦟌s. 有空呼叫我! 一路順風 Page me! Adi貿s.
STU: Who the hell was that guy? ALAN: That's my buddy. 那他X的又是誰? 我哥們
[TIRES SQUEAL]
Hey. Sorry, MapQuest took us on a really crazy route. 不好意思 MapQuest帶我們走了條很瘋狂的路
[MUSICIANS PLAYING "SPRING"]
[MUSICIANS PLAYING "WEDDING MARCH"]
- How's my hair? - It looks good. 我髮型如何? 不錯
- Is it cool like Phil's? - It's classic Phil. 有菲爾那麼酷嗎? 經典的菲爾頭
She looks beautiful, man. 她真漂亮 兄弟
Sorry I'm late. 抱歉來晚了
Vegas. 拉斯維加斯嘛
Where were you? And why are you so red? 你們去哪裡了?怎麼這麼紅?
Honey, it's a long story. 親愛的 說來話長了
MINISTER: We are gathered here today... 今天 愛情和承諾的力量...
...because of the strength of love and of promises kept. 讓我們相聚在這裡
All I know is I am so sorry. 我只能說很抱歉
And I promise for as long as we're married... 我保證結婚以後...
...to never, ever put you through anything like this again. 永遠都不會再有這次這種事發生
Can you forgive me? 能原諒我嗎?
[SINGING "CANDY SHOP"]
[CHATTERING]
- Daddy. - Hey, my man. 爸爸 小伙子
Excuse me, but I'm expecting my husband any minute. 不好意思 我丈夫隨時會到
Oh, that's very funny. Come here. 你真幽默 過來
[GROANS] 球賽如何?
How was your soccer game?
[CONTINUES SINGING]
[GRUNTS]
- Stu? You avoiding me? - Hey. Melissa. 斯圖?你在躲我? 嗨 梅麗莎
Oh, my God. What happened to your tooth? 哦天啊你牙齒怎麼了?
Have you met Alan? Tracy's brother. Brother of the... 見過艾倫嗎?特蕾西的弟弟...
Okay. Ow. 好吧
That is disgusting. Why haven't you returned my calls? 真噁心 你為什麼不回我電話?
Well, there was a snafu when we stopped... 當我們停下來的時候出了問題...
I called that bed and breakfast in Napa. 我打給過納帕谷的飯店和早餐廳
They said they had no record of you even checking in. 他們說根本沒你登記的記錄
That's because we didn't go to Napa. 因為我們根本沒去納帕
- Stu. What the fuck is going on? - We went to Las Vegas. 斯圖 到底他X的發生什麼事了? 我們去了拉斯維加斯
Oh, really? Las Vegas? Why would you go to Las Vegas? 真的?拉斯維加斯?為什麼去那裡?
My friend was getting married. That's what guys do. 我朋友要結婚了 兄弟們自然要這樣做
- Okay, that's not what you do. - Really? 好 不過這不是你的風格 真的?
Well, then why did I do it, huh? Because I did it. Riddle me that. 那我為什麼會去呢? 因為我去了...猜猜看為什麼?
Why'd I do it? 我為什麼會去?
All you want me to do is what you want me to do. 你一心就想控制我
I'm sick of doing what you want. 我不能再忍受什麼都聽你的
In a healthy relationship, a guy should be able to do what he wants. 在健康的男女關係裡 男人想做什麼就做什麼
- That is not how this works! STU: Oh, good. 事情就該這樣 是的...
Because whatever this is ain't working for me! 反正我是受不了這樣子!
MELISSA: Oh, really? STU: Yeah. 噢 真的? 沒錯
Since when? 你什麼時候開始這麼放肆了?
Since you fucked that waiter on your cruise last June. Boom! 自從你去年六月在郵輪上 搞了那個服務生開始 哇!
- You told me it was a bartender. - Oh, you're right. I stand corrected. 你說那是個酒保 噢 沒錯 我糾正一下
It was a bartender. You fucked a bartender. 是個酒保 你搞上那個酒保
You're an idiot. 你是個白癡
You're... You... 你是...你
[GROANS]
You're such a bad person. 你是個爛人
Like, all the way through to your core. 從外爛到底
Alan, shall we dance? 艾倫 我們跳支舞?
Let's do this. 我們開始吧
[BAND PLAYING "FAME"]
[SINGING "FAME"]
- It was a real pleasure meeting you. - Fuck off. 很高興認識你 滾
- I'm getting my bartender's license. - Suck my dick. 我正準備考酒保證照 舔我老二
No, thank you. 不了 謝謝
[CONTINUES SINGING]
[CHEERING]
You guys are awe... 你們棒極了
[KNOCK ON DOOR] 席德 在這裡
DOUG: Sid? - There he is.
- You wanted to see me? - Yeah. 你要見我? 嗯
- Congratulations, buddy. - Congratulations to you. 恭喜啊兄弟 恭喜
- You had us worried there for a second. - Sorry. 你讓我們擔心了一下 抱歉
How was Vegas? 維加斯如何?
It was... Ahem. It was crazy. 超瘋狂...
Attaboy. 真有你的
[CHUCKLES]
- Enjoy the car? - Mm-hm. 車還好吧... 嗯
- Remember to put Armor All on the tires? - Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 記得幫所有輪胎裝上防護嗎? 嗯
Let me ask you a question. 問你一個問題
How can a cake cost $1400? 一個蛋糕怎麼會花 1400 ?
- Highway robbery. - It's criminal. 高速公路搶劫 罪犯!
Sid, ahem, about the car... 席德... 關於車子...
Tracy told you. I told her not to tell you. I wanted to tell you. 崔西跟你說啦 我跟他說別說 我自己會告訴你
- Tell me what? - Careful, Doug. These women... 關於什麼 小心 道格 這些女人...
...can't be trusted. ...不能被信任
- Tell me what, Sid? - The Mercedes. 告訴我什麼 席德 賓士啊
It is a wedding gift from Linda and I. 那是我跟琳達送你的結婚禮物
- Are you serious? - What do you think? 你說真的? 你認為呢?
[LAUGHING]
That is awesome. 太棒了
Thank you. Oh. 謝謝
Thanks, Daddy. Thanks, Sid. 謝謝 爸爸 謝謝 席德
[WHISPERING] Close the door. - You're awesome. 關門 你真棒
You are awesome. 你真棒
Yeah. 呵呵
Dougie... 道格...
...I gotta tell you, man, this was a gorgeous wedding. 不得不說 婚禮棒極了
- I give it six months. - You're a dick. 我準備了六個月 小子
I don't know what to say. Thanks for the bachelor party, I guess? 不知道說什麼 謝謝這個單身派對
Yeah. I just wish we could actually remember some of it. 是啊真希望能記起點什麼
- Hey, guys? Look what I found. - Whoa, that's my camera. 大伙 看我找到什麼了 噢 我的相機
- It was in the back seat of the car. - Oh, Go... Are there photos on it? 在車後座呢 那...裡面有照片嗎?
Yeah. Some of it's even worse than we thought. 有 有比我們想像中還糟的
- No fucking way. Give me that. - Wa... Wa... Wait. 不會吧 給我看 等等
Wait, wait, wait. 等一下...等一下
We look at these pictures together, okay? One time. 我們一起看 好嗎? 就這一次
- And then we delete the evidence. - I say we delete it right now. 然後把證據刪了 不如現在就刪
Are you nuts? I wanna find out how I wound up in the hospital. 你傻了啊?我要知道為什麼去了醫院
- Yeah, it's in there. - Guys, one time. 沒錯 裡面有呢 夥計們 就一次
- Deal? - Deal. 一言為定? 一言為定
- Deal. - Okay. 一言為定 好
Oh, dear Lord! 噢 上帝啊!
ALAN: That's classic! 太經典了!
[ENGLISH SDH]