在赫曼威廉斯 针对模型火车爱好者 In Herman Williams' seminal work on the joys
所做的开创性研究中 他写道： of being a model train hobbyist, he writes,
〝我花费许多时间 "Many an hour have I spent
开心地沉浸在我所创作的世界中 "blissfully lost in a world of my own creation.
对模型火车迷来说 "For the model train enthusiast,
有个充满秩序与对称的秘密世界 "there exists a secret world of order and symmetry.
就在家中地下室或阁楼的角落里 "Nestled into the corners of our basements and attics,
我们主宰着这个 "we lord over a world
由爱好者扮演全能造物主的世界 "where the hobbyist plays omnipotent creator.
在这个缩小87倍的世界中 "There, in 1:87 scale,
邻居永远很亲切 "the neighbors are always kind,
有情人终成眷属 "the lovers always end up together,
而火车总是能带着你 "and the trains always take you to the far-off places
前往你曾发誓一定会去的遥远地方〝 "you always swore you'd go."
当然 In life, of course,
现实人生才不可能如此顺遂 nothing is nearly as neat and tidy.
♪ Well, if you close the door ♪
♪ The night could last forever ♪
♪ And keep the sunshine out ♪
♪ And say hello to never ♪
♪ 'Cause all the people are dancing ♪
♪ And they're having such fun ♪
♪ I wish it could happen to me ♪
- ♪ So baby close that door ♪
♪ And never have to see the day again ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ I'd never have to see the day again ♪
♪ That's right ♪ Sing!
♪ I'd never have to see the day again ♪
安可，艾莉 - Encore, Allie!
不行 - No!
我喝太多了 I am way too drunk
没办法在众目睽睽下唱歌 to be singing in front of people.
但是我们爱妳呀，来嘛 Aw, but we love you! Come on!
我想继续保持下去 And I wanna keep it that way.
好的，刚刚这首歌是献给 Um, okay. That was for my beautiful, sweet,
我英俊、温柔的未婚夫奈森 darling fiance, Nathan.
他非常喜欢那首歌 Who loves that song very much.
亲爱的，你要过来吗？ Bubba, you wanna come up here?
不要 快过去啦 - No.
快点啦，这是我们的订婚派对呢 Come on! It's our engagement party.
他很害羞 He's very shy!
奈森 Nathan! Nathan! Nathan!
快点 Nathan! Nathan!
-你喜欢吗？ -唱得好棒 - Did you like it? - It was amazing.
大家好 - Hey, y'all...
我简短说明一下 她在我们第一次约会时 Um, I'll just briefly say that she played that song for me
表演这首歌 on our very first date
她在一间空荡荡的酒吧后面 on a beautiful, old piano she found
找到一架美丽的旧钢琴 at the back of an empty bar.
-妳最好快唱，妹子 -对啊 - Well, you better go, girl! - Come on. Come on!
-妳非如愿不可 -没错， - Always be closing. Absolutely!
欢迎加入我们这一家 Welcome to the family!
-艾莉森 -什么事？ - Allison... - Yes...
我人生中最珍惜的回忆都有妳 Every memory I cherish in my life has you in it.
其中有些只有短短几秒钟 Some of them are just tiny seconds.
妳专心品尝东西的时候 The way you close one eye
会闭上一只眼睛 when you really wanna focus on tasting something.
我真的会这样， - I do that. I do that.
就像是… I go, like...
-我不敢相信这是真的 I can't believe this is real.
-这是真的，宝贝 It's real, baby.
-感谢老天 - Thank God. Mm.
-我爱妳 -我爱你 - I love you. - I love you.
-好了 -嘿 Aw.- Okay. - Hey...
-喝酒、抽烟，开心点 -对 - Um... Drink, smoke, be merry. Yeah.
如果想和奇普上床 And if you choose to sleep with Chip,
记得要他戴11层套子 make sure he wears, like, 11 condoms.
我还是处男 I'm, like, literally a virgin.
他在开玩笑的 - He's kidding. He's kidding.
- ♪ Time keeps on coming ♪
♪ I've been all around ♪
♪ I'll keep on loving... ♪
不行，宝贝， No! No, no, no.
不准滑手机 - No. Come on, baby. No phone. - Oh.
我们婚后得定好规矩 When we get married, we have to make rules
在床上不能滑手机 - about phones in the bed.
少来， Oh, shut up.
你花在滑手机的时间 是我的十倍 You are on your phone, like, ten times more than me,
总是在看破旧的老卡车 looking up rusty old trucks.
1967年产的敞篷野马越野车 Uh, a '67 cloth top Bronco
是艺术品，宝贝 不是卡车 is a work of art, baby. It's not a truck.
我是在欣赏艺术 - I'm looking at art. - Yeah. Oh.
就像这个屁股一样 - Like this butt.
你给我的软糖让我嗨到不行 I am so high from that gummy you gave me.
那到底是什么鬼东西？ - What the fuck was that?
-我还是感觉不到我的脚踝 I still can't feel my ankles.
-妳现在不需要脚踝 You don't need your ankles right now.
对，但我还是想感觉到我的脚踝 Yeah, but I would still like to feel my ankles.
过来亲我 Hey, come kiss me.
-宝贝 -什么事？ - Hey, babe? - Yeah?
我销售清单上的这个怪医生 This creepy doctor from my sales list
竟然在IG上想跟我打情骂俏 is really trying to flirt with me on Instagram.
也许是妳让他误会了 Maybe you gave him the wrong impression.
什么？ What?
拜托，最好是 Come on! As if!
我明明就挥舞着 I go in there, and I'm, like,
我的订婚戒 waving my engagement ring around.
妳总是说 〝打情骂俏是工作的一部分〞 You always say, "Flirting is a part of the job."
注定会有人误会的 Someone's bound to get the wrong impression.
只有一点点而已 It's very light flirting.
-好吧 -是真的 - Ah, okay. - It is!
就只是个 It's like... It's just...
淡淡的微笑 It's sushi with a smile,
这样他才能写下该死的处方笺 so that he can write the fucking prescription,
我也能拿到丰厚的奖金， and I can get a fat bonus,
如此一来… and then
也许你和我有一天能 you and I can maybe one day
搬到市区去 move to the city.
前提是我们没有先下地狱 If we don't go to hell first.
你为什么说这种话？ Oh! Why would you say that?
-拜托 -对不起 - Come on! - I'm sorry.
我只是在推销复迈 I'm only pushing HUMIRA, like,
才不会因为中重度干癣而下地狱 I won't go to hell for moderate to severe psoriasis.
拜托，那样就太不公平了 Come on. That would be so unfair.
-对 Yeah, yeah.
-闭嘴啦 Shut up.
听着， - Okay. Hey. - Mmm.
这只是垫脚石而已，宝贝 It's just a stepping stone, baby.
我知道 I know.
你觉得现在去学当太空人太迟了吗？ Do you think it's too late for astronaut school?
-怎么了？ - What?
-怎么了？ -没事 - What? - Nothing.
我可以当职业舞者 I could be a professional dancer.
-真的吗？ -真的 - Oh, word? - Yeah. Yeah.
妳会跳舞？ - You got them moves? - Ooh.
等等，让我站起来 - Wait, let me stand up.
我站起来的时候比较厉害 I'm way better when I stand up.
-好 -我站起来的时候厉害多了 - Okay. - It's so much better when I stand up.
-准备好了吗？ -好了 - Are you ready? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-这是什么类型的舞？ - Whoa. - What genre is this?
-不知道，我的身体就自己动起来了 I don't know, but my body just goes...Go.
这是现代舞，对吧？ Is this modern, right?
这是专业舞步 - This is professional. - Wow.
-这样啊 -所以请你 So I would appreciate it
-认真看待我 if you took me seriously right now.
-我非常认真 I'm taking you very seriously.
最后再以这样结束 And then, we'll finish with something like this.
但是我不会再继续跳了 But I'm not gonna show you anymore,
因为我还在练习中 because it's a work-in-progress.
职业舞者累了 And the professional is tired,
我想要抱抱 and I wanna cuddle.
♪ Came into this life on my own ♪
♪ And I'll try Yes I'll try ♪
♪ Hope for love turn out the light ♪
♪ And I gave my own life My own life, my own life ♪
冷静点 Oh, calm the fuck down.
这条路施工真是 I swear, this road has been under construction
没完没了 my entire life.
新泽西什么时候才会好？ When will New Jersey be done?
-还在进行中 -永远不会好 - She's a work-in-progress. - Never.
-对了，芮恩怎么样了？ Oh, by the way, how's Ryan doing?
-妳是说妳未来的外甥女吗？ Oh, you mean your future niece?
天啊，她好漂亮 Oh, my goodness. She's so pretty!
对，校队教练说她也许明年就能开始 Yeah, the varsity coach said she might start next year.
-是吗？ - Oh, yeah? Mmm-hmm.
-她上个球季进了19球 She scored 19 goals last season!
-快告诉她 -天啊 - Tell her. Tell her. - Wow!
妳一定很为她感到骄傲 Oh, my God. You must be so proud of her.
不敢相信我竟然还没见过她 I can't believe I haven't met her.
奈森，真抱歉我 I'm so sorry Nathan and I
还没下去过 haven't made it down there yet.
没关系，毕竟真的很远 Don't worry about it. I mean, it's far.
我们会更常上来的 We're gonna try to come up more often
毕竟我爸年纪大了 now that our dad's getting older. Yeah.
我只见过妳爸几次，但是… Well, I've only met your dad a few times,
这就不能怪距离了 but that we can't blame on distance.
这真是太扯了，对不起 This is fucking nuts. I'm sorry.
等等，跟我们介绍一下 等等要看的婚纱 Wait, so tell us about
对，拜托，我昨天想着这件事 these wedding dresses we're seeing.
想到睡不着 Yes, please. I couldn't sleep last night thinking about it.
-闭嘴啦 -你人真好 Shut up! - You are such a good sport.
才不是，他以为看完婚纱后 No, he isn't. He just thinks that after we see dresses,
我们要去四处泡酒吧 - we're going to go... - Yeah?- ...on a pub crawl. Mmm-hmm.
但其实我们是要去看剧 But actually we're going to see a play.
-是吗？ -才不是 - You are? - No, we're not.
妳说我们得先买好票 You said that we'd have to get tickets already.
不，我们只是 要去看某出没人想看的剧 No. We just gotta see some shit nobody else wants to see.
-真是太棒了 -对吧？ - Oh, great. That's awesome.
-耶，真的？ -太棒了 - Yeah, right? - Great. Great.
妳们看，路终于顺了 Hey, look, it's finally opening up.
你们要去看剧可能会有点赶 All right, so I think it might be a little tight getting you to a play,
不过让我确认一下 but, um, let me just check...
好，导航显示… - Okay, so now it's saying...
艾莉!当心! Allie! Look out!
到了 Here we are.
时间还很早 You got me here so early.
对 Yeah, well, it's
提早半小时到 better to be a half-hour early
总比迟到一分钟好 than one minute late.
外公，你打过电动吗？ Grandpa, have you ever played any video games?
没有 - No.
妳的小脑袋瓜明明很灵光 You've got that perfect little brain up there
却被那些垃圾给浪费了 and you're just melting it away with that crap.
好 Okay.
-奈森 -是奈森舅舅，接吧 Nathan. -It's Uncle Nathan. Answer it.
他为什么会打给我？ Why would he be calling me?
接啊 Pick it up.
我们不是不再联络了吗 Thought we weren't talking anymore.
奈森 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Nathan. Nathan.
芮恩在我车上 I've... I've got Ryan here in the car.
我送她来上学 I'm just dropping her off at school.
我等等回电给你 I'll call you right back.
我听到你说的了，我马上过去 Yes, I heard what you said. I'm headed right there.
我先送她下车，好吗？ I just gotta drop her off, okay?
看吧，没那么糟糕 See, that wasn't so bad.
妈妈说她希望 你们能找到方法好好相处 Mom says she wishes you guys could find a way to get along.
我得走了，亲爱的 I... I've... I've got to leave, sweetie.
但是我这么早到，看起来很像傻子 But I look like a dork being here this early.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我… I'll, uh...
晚点来接妳放学 I'll be picking you up today.
为什么妈妈不能来？ Why can't Mom?
她说他们今天会从市区回来 She said they'd be back from the city today, right?
这个嘛 Well...
-她没办法来 -好， - she can't. Okay.
我再传讯息给她 I'll text her.
-好 Okay.
-好，再见 Okay. Bye.
告诉我妳爱我 Tell me you love me.
我爱你，外公 I love you, Grandpa.
我也爱妳 I love you too.
-再见 -再见 - Bye. - Bye.
妈妈，我的头好痛 Mom, my head hurts so much.
我无法解释我的头有多痛 I can't even explain how much pain my head's in.
-妳不能再按点吗啡吗？ Can you click on the morphine again?
-我一直按 I've been clicking on it.
按个不停 但是都没反应 I'm clicking on it, and nothing is happening.
可恶，妳说得没错 这个用完了， Oh, shoot, you're right. It is empty.
我们得换药 We gotta get more.
-我们去请护理师… We'll have to get the nurse to get us more.
-奈森，你为什么这样看着我？ Nathan, why are you looking at me like that?
怎么样？ Like what?
-我看起来很糟糕吗？ Is it bad? Do I look that bad?
-不，他只是很心烦 No, he's just upset, sweetheart.
他很心烦，因为我们 He's upset 'cause we've been
- 担心了一整晚 - 好 - so worried all night long. Okay. Okay.
那辆挖土机突然倒车到路中央 This backhoe thing just reversed into the middle of the street.
-我知道 I know, I know.
-我不知道该怎么反应 I didn't know what to do.
我知道，但妳先别担心这个 I know, but you don't have to worry about that right now.
-对吧，奈森？ -对 - Right, Nathan? - Yeah.
妳先专心养伤就好 No, you just need to focus on getting better.
妳只需要担心这个，好吗？ That's all you need to think about, okay?
-对吧，奈森？ Okay. - Right, Nathan?
-对 抱歉打扰， - Yeah. Sorry to interrupt,
但是警察来采血液样本了 but the police are here to collect a blood sample.
不行，现在不行 Oh, no. Absolutely not.
-她还很痛，不行 Now is not a good time. She is in a lot of pain.
-你晚点再来， - You have to come back. - No.
她才刚醒 -为什么会有警察过来？ She just woke up. - Why are the police here?
-很遗憾，没办法 Unfortunately, I can't.
依法必须尽快采血 Legally, the sample has to be drawn as soon as possible.
我们已经等到她状况稳定下来 We waited for her to stabilize,
但是如此严重的事故 but with an accident like this,
-我们一定要… -他在说什么？ it's imperative we test...
-那不是我的错 What is he talking about? It wasn't my fault.
-警官，她还不知道 -那不是她的错 - Officer, she doesn't know. - It wasn't her fault.
造成死伤如此严重的 With an accident of this magnitude
事故，我们… involving fatalities, we're required...
我们还没告诉她 -伤亡？ - She hasn't been told. - Fatalities?
-我们还没告诉她 She hasn't been told,
-你这个该死的混蛋 -该死的 - you fucking asshole! Fuck.
-她还不知道 -妈妈，这是怎么回事？ She didn't know. - Mama, what's going on?
-真的很抱歉，亲爱的 -他在说什么？ - I'm so sorry, honey. - What is he talking about?
真是对不起 I'm so sorry.
奈森？ Nathan?
奈森，这是怎么回事？ Nathan, what's going on?
他们死了 They're gone.
两个都死了 They're both gone.
-谁死了？ Who's gone?
-亲爱的… Honey...
不，妈妈 No, Mom.
为什么，妈妈？ Why, Mom?
我很遗憾，亲爱的 I'm so sorry, honey.
一个好人
（一年后）
♪ Wake up with the sun in morning ♪
♪ Go to sleep with the moon at night... ♪
大家好，我是贝拉 Hey, guys! Bella here.
欢迎来到我的浴室 Welcome to my bathroom!
今天我们要学习替自己剪头发 Today, we're gonna learn to cut our own hair.
那我们就开始吧 So let's jump in.
首先抓起最前面那层头发 To get started, we grab this first front layer
像这样 just like this.
然后将剪刀摆成稍微倾斜的角度 And put your scissors at, like, a slight angle.
好，成败就看现在了，剪吧 Okay, it's now or never.
Go for it!
♪ What their purpose is on earth ♪
♪ To love and be loved in return... ♪
妈的 Fuck.
妳办到了， You nailed it!
妳正式成为 跟我一样的造型设计师了 You're officially a stylist just like me!
现在，抓起 Now, go ahead
另一侧同一层的头发 and grab the same layer on the other side.
然后剪下去 And just go for it!
好 Okay.
♪ Happiness comes from inside ♪
♪ At the center of your mind... ♪
妈的 Fuck.
看起来一样高吗？ Does it look even?
不一样 Not exactly. No.
很好，妳看起来很棒 Good job. You look amazing!
谢谢 Thank you.
♪ You can change the darkest day ♪
♪ Simply by the things you say... ♪
哇 Wow...
♪ Oooh oooh ooh ♪
我喜欢 I love it.
天啊，艾莉，这是怎么回事？ Oh, my God. Allie, what the hell is all this?
妳不能再继续买这些垃圾了 You have got to stop buying all this crap.
其中一样是水晶指甲组 Yeah, well, one of them is an acrylic nail set
妳绝对会比我更喜欢 that I know you'll appreciate more than I will.
其他的是绑腿沙包 And the others are ankle weights.
还记得 我们说要练身材吗？ Remember? We said we were gonna get in shape?
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
艾莉，妳把妳的头发怎么了？ Allie, what the hell did you do to your hair?
怎么了？ 今天是周一，〝形象改造日〞 What? It's makeover Monday.
今天是星期五 - It's Friday. - Oh.
-这里好暗 -不，拜托别打开 - It's so dark in here. - No, please, don't open that.
-妈，太亮了 Mama, that is so bright!
-妳今天有去做物理治疗吗？ Did you go to physical therapy today?
-我本来想， Um, well, I tried to,
但是睡过头了 -艾莉 - but I overslept. - Allie...
-怎么了？我又不需要物理治疗 What? I don't need PT. I don't.
-艾莉，妳的头发 Allie, your hair.
妳不喜欢吗？ You don't like it?
我只是不明白 妳为什么要剪掉自己的头发 I just don't understand why you would cut your own hair.
那个女生说很简单，结果并不是如此 Well, the girl said it was easy, and it was not.
哪个女生？ What girl?
网路上那个女生呀，她是网红 This girl on the Internet. She's an influencer.
她影响了我 She influenced me.
这里跟猪窝没两样，我很不开心 Such a pigsty in here. I am not happy about this.
妈妈，妳知道我的药在哪里吗？ Hey, Mama, can you tell me where my pills are?
什么药？ Which ones?
我们说过要减少剂量，还记得吗？ We said we were going to wean off of them. Remember?
-有吗？ -有 - Did we? - Yes.
因为〝我们〞很痛 Because "we" are in pain
〝我们〞需要更多药 and "we" need more.
-他们不会再给妳的 They're not gonna give you more, Allie.
-他们非给不可 -并没有 - They have to! - No, they don't.
-我需要那些药 I need them!
听我说 Listen to me.
妳的身体已经不痛了 You're not in physical pain anymore.
妳有没有练习那个心理医生 Have you been doing the tapping thing
教妳做的轻拍练习？ that that one shrink taught you?
还记得吗？那可以缓和焦虑跟紧张 让妳冷静下来 Remember? For anxiety and stress,
拍拍眼睛，然后是嘴唇 and it calms you down on the...
-妈妈 -或者去弹琴 - eyes, and then the lips. - Mom!
-那总是能让妳开心 Or play your piano. That always cheers you up.
-我不想谈这个 拜托 I don't wanna talk about this, please.
我头真的好痛 妳别说了行不行？ I have the worst headache! Can you just stop?
妳能不能帮我打给医生，拜托了 Can you call the doctors and help me, please?
哪一个？帕特尔吗？ 他说不能再给药了 Which one? Patel? He said no more.
好，去他的帕特尔 去他的 Okay, well, fuck Patel. Fuck Patel!
那戈伯格或方医生呢？ How about Goldberg, or...or Fong?
-艾莉 -拜托，妈妈 - Allie... - Please, Mom.
-帮帮我，打给他们 - Just call 'em. Just help me. - You're being a little...
-妳有点太…不行 - No. - Just help me, please.
妳知道吗？他们全都拒绝了 Guess what? They all said "no."
帕特尔、戈伯格、冯医生、罗森伯格 Patel. Goldberg. Fong. Rosenberg.
好吧，我来试试弗罗曼，他很喜欢我 Okay, well, I'll try Vromen. He loves me.
弗罗曼是牙齿矫正医生 Vromen is an orthodontist.
对，但是他以前 用手指 Yeah, but he used to flirt with me
深入我的嘴巴时 会和我打情骂俏 when his fingers were really deep inside my mouth,
很不得体，所以他欠我人情 and it was very inappropriate, and so, he really owes me one.
艾莉，我不喜欢妳这样 Allie, I don't like how you're acting.
真的够了 You know what? Enough is enough.
妳得离开这处客厅 You gotta get out of this living room,
脱掉睡衣 take off your pajamas,
给我出去找工作 and get your ass, and go get a job.
我受够这些狗屁了 I'm sick of this crap.
妳根本没资格 As if you have any right
教训我吃药 lecturing me on medicating myself.
这话是什么意思？ What is that supposed to mean?
意思是妳真他妈的虚伪 It means, Mom, you're such a fucking hypocrite!
妳以为我没在数妳吃了多少赞安诺 You don't think that I clock how many Xanax you take?
还是喝了几杯酒吗？ Or how many glasses of wine you drink?
妳以为我只是个行尸走肉 什么都没感觉 You think I'm just a zombie that doesn't notice anything,
但是我什么都知道 but I notice fucking everything! I see you.
我看尽妳的所作所为 所以可以给我药了吗？ So, can I have my pills, please?
妳没在听我说，已经没有药了 You're not listening. There's no more.
-给我回来， You get right back here,
-妳这个臭小鬼 -不要，我的天啊 - you little brat! - No!
妳到底在做什么？ What in the hell do you think you are doing?
-给我出去 Get out of there!
-放开我 - Get out of there! Get off me!
-不行，放手 -给我出去 - No! Get out of there! - Let go!
-不，妳在做什么？ -在这里面吗？ What are you doing? - No! Are they in here?
-后退，给我住手 -妳弄痛我了 Get back! Cut it out! - You are hurting me!
住手 Stop it!
-住手，放开 -妈妈 - Stop it! Put that back! Mom!
不行 No.
-开门，快给我开门 -不行，住手 - Open the door. - No.
-住手，不要 - Open the fucking door! - Stop it! Stop it.
-妈妈，让我出去 - Mom, let me out. - No.
-让我出去 Let me out. Let me out!
妈妈 Mama!
-不行，住手 -给我 - No! Stop it! - Give me those... Ow.
住手 - Stop it! Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow.
-妳这个臭小鬼 -不要 - You fucking crazy little brat. No!
可恶 Shit!
不…不…不 No, no, no, no, no, no.
妈妈，拜托不要 Mama, no! Please. No!
妳为什么要这么做？我好痛 Why the fuck did you do that?I'm in pain!
-我不管 I don't give a shit!
-妳女儿好痛 Your daughter is in actual pain!
我才不管 I don't give a shit!
我好恨妳 I fucking hate you so much!
妳在流血 You're bleeding!
快回来 You get back here right now.
-别管我 -回来 Leave me alone. - You come back here.
我去拿妳的… Leave me alone. - I'm gonna grab your...
他妈的别管我 Leave me the fuck alone!
我才不会不管妳 I'm not gonna leave you the fuck alone,
-臭小鬼 - you little brat. - Ugh!
艾莉森 Allison!
-别管我 -妳要去哪里？ - Leave me alone! Where are you going?
不要管我 Leave me alone!
加油，芮恩 Let's go, Ryan!
这就对了 Attagirl! Attagirl!
妈的 大家加油 Fuck!
妳就是那个 跟戴米恩聊天的芮恩？ So you're the Ryan that's been talking to Damien?
少来烦我 Get the fuck outta my face.
八婆，妳讲话这种口气 See, you talk to people like that, bitch,
难怪没朋友 that's why you have no fucking friends.
-妳干嘛找我搭讪？ Why are you hitting on me, huh?
-叫芮恩的可不是我 Uh, I'm not the one named "Ryan."
-那是臭同性恋的名字，妳同志吗？ It's a fucking dyke's name. You a dyke?
-只有我跟妳妈上床的时候是 -至少我有妈妈 - Only when I fuck your mother. - Oh, at least I have a mother.
妳他妈的说什么？ What the fuck did you just say to me?
嘿 Hey!
离戴米恩远一点，贱货 Stay away from Damien, you fucking whore.
裁判，把她们分开 Hey!Break that up, Ref!
把她们分开 Break it up. Break it up!
嘿 Hey!
够了，红牌，妳们俩都离场 Hey! That's it! You're both out. Red card.
-芮恩，刚刚是怎么回事？ Ryan, what the hell was that?
-我不玩了 I quit.
我讨厌该死的足球 I quit. I hate this fucking game.
为什么？就因为妳跟人打架？ Why? Because you got in a fight?
少来了，这不像妳 Come on, that's not you.
妳很坚强，不会半途而废 You're tough. You're not a quitter.
-她取笑妈妈 -什么？ - She made fun of Mom. - What?
她说〝至少我有妈妈〞 She said, "At least I have a mom."
去她的 Well, fuck her.
好吧 Well...
妳挥那是什么拳？ And what kind of a punch was that?
妳打出右钩拳 You throw this hard right hook
就会露出空档吃她那记刺拳 and then you leave yourself wide open for the jab.
我们得好好练习 We're gonna have to work on that.
（范豪登药局）
嗨，我来拿连续处方笺 Hi.I'm here to get a prescription refilled.
姓强森，生日8月24日 Last name, Johnson. Birthday, August 24th.
好，要拿什么药？ Okay. For which medication?
疼始康定 Uh... The Oxy. OxyContin.
上面写妳的药拿完了 It says here you are out of refills.
妳已经吃一年多了 I see you've been on them for over a year now.
妳的医生可能想让妳降低剂量 Your doctor's probably trying to wean you off of them.
妳一定知道那会让人上瘾 As I'm sure you know, they can be very addictive.
真的吗？我他妈的从来没听说过 Oh, really? I hadn't fucking heard that.
抱歉 Sorry.
抱歉，抱歉 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
听着 Listen...
我出了一场严重的车祸 I was in a really bad car accident,
我需要那些药，因为我很痛 and I need them, because I'm in a lot of pain.
-只有现在吗？ Just now?
-什么？不是 What? No.
妳的手肘在流血 Your elbow is bleeding.
可恶，听着，没事 Oh, shit. Look, it's fine.
-我去帮妳拿绷带 -我不需要他妈的绷带 Let me go get you a bandage.
我没事 I don't need a fucking bandage. It's fine.
那妳拿这个吧 Then take this.
（希望仍在，类鸦片上瘾的真相）
天啊，太谢谢妳了 Oh, my goodness. Thank you so much. Thank you.
我感觉好多了，谢谢 I feel so much better now. Thank you.
臭婊子 Fucking bitch.
感觉在燃烧，猜猜看那是什么？ Burn, but guess what that burn is?
是灵魂在燃烧，那在提振妳的精神 That burn is in your soul. It is lifting you up.
妳正在爬上那座山 You are climbing that mountain
来到以前从未 and you are reaching higher heights
到过的高度 than you ever have before.
继续踩 Keep pedaling.
（多重症状，感冒及流感）
-嗨 -嗨 Hi. - Hi!
-嘿 -嗨 - Hey! - Hi!
嗨 Hi.
天啊，我喜欢妳的发型 Oh, my God. I love your hair!
-好时髦，谁帮妳剪的？ -谢谢 - It is so chic. Who did it? - Ah, thank you! Um...
-我找了个新的设计师 I, uh, got a new gal.
-记得给我她的电话 Well, I gotta get her number.
好了 Okay.
我好开心妳联络我 Oh, I was so happy that you reached out.
因为妳之前都不回我的讯息 Because you weren't responding to any of my texts.
我一方面想给妳空间 Of course, I wanted to give you your space,
一方面也很担心 but I was worried.
-早安 -嘿 Hi, good morning. - Hey!
需要什么吗？ Can I get you anything?
可以给我威士忌可乐吗？ Uh, yeah. Can I please get a Jack and Coke?
抱歉，我们酒吧11点才开 Sorry, our bar doesn't actually open until 11:00.
这样的话，请给我黑咖啡 Uh, okay. In that case, I'll get a black coffee.
-燕麦奶拿铁 -没问题 - Oat milk latte. - You got it.
工作怎么样？ So, how's, how's work?
妳还在普渡吧？ You're still at Purdue, right?
-我还在普渡 -对 - Still repping Purdue. - Yeah.
妳以为在破产和官司 You'd think it would've been a shit show
缠身下会很惨 because of the bankruptcy and all the lawsuits.
但是偷偷跟妳说 - Mm. - But, between you and me,
我的业绩还变好了 my numbers have actually increased.
-厉害 Wow.
-我上季的奖金高到吓人 My bonus last quarter was insane.
-就是这样 -对 - It sells itself. - Yeah.
卡尔马克思错了 Karl Marx was wrong.
精神鸦片真的 Turns out the opiate of the masses
是鸦片 is opium.
总之， Anyway.
妳好吗？ How are you doing?
什么时候要回去上班？ When are you going back to work?
听着，我就开门见山直说了 Listen, I'm just gonna cut right to it
因为妳是我的朋友 because you're my friend
我知道妳一定能理解 and I know you're gonna understand.
我还是很疼痛 I'm still in a lot of pain.
艾莉 Oh, Allie...
我知道，而且我的医生 不开疼始康定给我了 I know, and my docs are cutting my Oxy scripts
因为这年头大家 because everyone's really freaked out
都很怕会上瘾 about addiction these days.
所以不知道妳能不能… So, I was wondering if it would be possible...
艾莉，拜托告诉我 妳邀我 Allie, please tell me you didn't invite me
吃早餐不是为了托我拿药 to breakfast to hit me up for pills.
不是的 No.- No, no, no, no, no.
等我看到医生就好 It's just until I can get in, and see my docs.
因为我那该死的妈妈 Um, because my fucking mother,
把我最后剩下的药丢进马桶了 she threw my last refill into the toilet, so...
不行 No way.
-妳这是在耍我吗？ Are you fucking with me right now?
-不是 No.
有问题就要去看医生 If you have a problem, you need to get some help.
我可以帮妳找合适的勒戒所 I can help you find the right rehab.
拜托别来这套 Please don't hand me a pamphlet.
有人跟我说过了 I already have one.
有必要的话就上街去找 Well, then find them on the street if you have to.
这里每间二流酒吧 Every dive bar in this town's got a guy
都有个口袋里有药的人 with a pharmacy in his front pocket.
妳知道，贝卡 You know, Becka,
我很不想这么做 I really didn't want to do this.
不过 But...
妳的单身派对上 there's a handful of things
发生了很多事 that happened at your bachelorette party
妳一定不想公开吧 that I'm pretty sure you want to be kept private.
艾莉森，妳这是想勒索我 换取疼始康定吗？ Allison, are you trying to blackmail me for OxyContin?
我只是想请妳帮忙 I'm just asking you for help.
以朋友的身分 Like, as a friend.
但妳的确帮那个舞者吹了 But you did blow that dancer.
虽然只有一下下 It happened for a second.
但妳真的有吹 我看到了 I know, I know. But you did it, and I saw.
-我没有含进去 -明明就有 It never went in my mouth.
妳含进嘴巴里 It was in your mouth.
含进了前面 Past the tip.
含进他妈的最前面 Past the fucking tip.
艾莉，妳需要帮助 Allie, you need help.
妳尽管摧毁我的人生没关系 Destroy my life if you have to.
但是看在上帝的份上，去找人帮忙吧 But for the love of God, get some fucking help!
-好，再见，去妳的 Okay, bye. Fuck you.
-去妳的 Fuck you!
我没有…妈的 Uh... I don't... Oh, fuck.
我没有钱，真的很抱歉， I don't have any money. I'm really sorry.
我付不出钱 I can't pay for those.
没关系，喝吧 That's okay. Take it.
我替妳掺了一点龙舌兰 I mixed in a little tequila for you.
好恶心 That's disgusting.
谢谢 Thank you.
亚当斯先生，我们很想尽一切努力 Mr. Adams, we really wanna do
帮助芮恩，但是… everything we can to help Ryan.
她必须为自己的 But she needs to take some responsibility
行为负责 for her behavior.
这女孩根本听不进我说的话 That girl does not listen to a thing I say.
老实说，我还希望你们把我找来 To be honest, I was hoping you were calling me in here
是要给我一些意见 to give me some advice.
我需要帮助 I need help.
我们是公立学校 It's just that we're a public school.
有两千个小孩要照顾 We have 2,000 kids to look after.
我们没办法 We don't have the bandwidth
配合她的需求来指导她 to micromanage her in ways that she deserves and needs.
这是什么意思？ So, what are you saying?
有鉴于现况 I will give her an extra strike
我会再给她一次机会 because of the circumstances.
但要是她再对老师 But if she doesn't tone down her language
讲话不客气 with her teachers
继续打架的话 and gets into one more fight,
我们就得将她退学 we'll have to expel her.
麻烦给我双份龙舌兰 Hi, can I get a double tequila, please?
艾莉森 Allison.
我认得妳 Yo, I know you.
我是马克 It's Mark.
-对，你好 Yeah, hey.
-对 Yeah.
我高中之后就没见过妳了 I haven't seen you since high school.
这是狄亚哥，还记得吗？ This is Diego. You remember Diego?
-嘿 -嘿 - Hey. Hey.
吃早餐吗？ You just having a little breakfast?
我只是… Uh... Um... I just...
-得出来走走 I just needed to get out of the house.
-我明白 Yeah, I feel that.
我听说妳出意外的事 I heard what happened to you. The accident.
-我在报纸上看到了，很遗憾 Saw it in the Star Ledger. Sorry.
-发生什么事？ What happened?
她在公路上出车祸， She was in that accident on the turnpike.
死了两个人 Two people died.
天啊 Holy shit.
原来是妳 That was you.
兄弟 Oh, bro.
要是我绝对会很惨 That would've fucked me up.
-那不是我的错 It wasn't my fault.
-我相信，但还是一样 Yeah, I'm sure. But, like, still...
可恶 Damn.
再给我一杯好吗？ Hey, can I have another one, please?
今天过得不顺吗？ You having a tough day?
只是平常的一天 Just a day.
我想要离这里越远越好 I just wanna get as far away from here as possible.
有个应用程式 Yo, there's this app,
能指出地球另一端 it tells you the exact opposite
与妳相对的地方 of where you are on the globe is.
妳就该去那里，我来帮妳查 That's where you should go. I'll look it up for you.
我每天都有这种感觉 Yo, that's how I feel every fuckin' day of my life.
我就是离不开这里 I can't seem to escape this town.
感觉周围有道力场 It's like there's a force field around it
还是什么的 or something.
有些人知道该怎么离开 Like, some people know how to get outta here.
但是我们其他人 But the rest of us,
只能不断白费力气 we just keep banging our heads up against the glass.
地球另一头的城市是伯斯 It's Perth. That's the city on the other side of the globe from here.
妳应该去伯斯 You should go to Perth.
我没有足够的钱可以去伯斯 I don't have enough money to get to Perth,
不过还是谢谢 but thank you.
妳不是跟奈森亚当斯订婚了吗？ Aren't you engaged to Nathan Adams?
我原本是 I was, yeah.
他高中时是一名优秀的跑卫 He was an amazing running back in high school.
-每场比赛都很会跑 He used to run every fucking play.
还记得他吗？ -记得 - You remember him, Mark? Yeah.
每场都很会跑 Every fucking play,
他们会用广播说 they'd come on the PA system like,
〝持球人奈森亚当斯〞 "Nathan Adams, the ball carrier."
他一人抵全队 马克，你还记得他吗？ He was the whole fucking team. You remember him, Mark?
我记得他 Yeah, I remember him.
他不是聋子吗？ Isn't he deaf?
他天生一耳失聪 Uh... In one ear. Since birth.
他竟然这么厉害 Wow, that's impressive
真是令人钦佩 that he could be, like, that good, you know?
而且还是半聋 And half deaf.
所以妳现在单身吗 So you're, like, single?
闭嘴啦，狄亚哥 Yo. Shut the fuck up, Diego.
你以为她会跟你约会？ What? You think she's gonna date you?
你要带她去哪？你还跟你妈住呢 Where are you gonna take her? You live with your mom.
该死的 God damn.
艾莉森，抱歉 Allison, I'm sorry.
我朋友太失礼了 My fucking friend has no tact at all.
这里不太常有 We're not used to having
妳这样的美女光临 pretty girls such as yourself come in here.
所以请原谅他如此 So, you gotta excuse his
欠缺装潢 lack of decor.
是礼节 Decorum.
什么？ What?
〝装潢〞 "Decor" is
是我头上那个百威啤酒灯饰 the Bud Light lamp above my head.
〝礼节〞则是指他的行为 "Decorum" is his behavior.
两个状况都不太好 Neither is currently ideal.
我能不能以老朋友的身分 Hey, can I ask you something, like,
问你们一件事？ between us old friends?
妳不是我们的朋友，妳是风云人物 You weren't our friend. You were popular.
-而且还是个八婆 -好了，狄亚哥 - You were a bitch, actually. - All right. Diego.
那都是过去的事了，对吧，艾莉森？ That's old shit. Right, Allison?
都过去了，我们是大人了 We're past that. We're grown-ups.
我们这些困在力场里的人 Those of us stuck behind this force field,
-得团结一致 -对 - we gotta stick together. Yeah.
你们知道我能去哪买疼始康定吗？ Um, do you know where I could get some Oxy?
要命啊，小姐 God damn, girl.
也不来个前戏 No foreplay. No nothing.
〝你好吗？你家人怎么样？〞 No "How are you? How's your family?"
不，我们不搞药丸的 No, we don't fuck with pills.
我记得高中时你们…什么都 I remember in high school you were the guys that could, like,
拿得到 get anything.
妳只是在拍我们马屁而已 And now you're just buttering us up.
-我没有钱 -那妳要怎么付酒钱？ I don't have any money. How are you gonna pay for that tequila?
我还没想到那么远 I hadn't got that far yet.
-那只劳力士是真货吗？ -等等 - Is that Rolex real? - Wait a second.
等等，亲爱的艾莉强森小姐 Wait. Allie Johnson. Miss lovely Allie Johnson.
妳来到这里 You just stroll in here.
身上没有钱 You got no money.
期待我们给妳免费的疼始康定 And you expect us to get you Oxy?
还要我们替妳付酒钱？ For free, and then you want us to pay for your drink.
我们为什么要这么做？ Why the fuck would we do that?
看在往日的面子上？ Nostalgia?
老朋友？ Old friends?
妳高中时以为自己多热门 You thought you were such hot shit in high school.
-现在也一样 You're no fucking different now.
-好了，闭嘴 All right. Shut up.
抱歉 Sorry.
这家伙毫无礼节 This guy. No decorum.
不，他说得没错 No, he's right.
我没有觉得我比你们优秀 我很清楚是如此 I didn't think I was better than you. I knew it.
我鄙视你们这种人 I looked down on guys like you.
我把你们当作本地垃圾 I thought you were Jersey trash
绝对离不开这里 that would never be able to make it out of town.
该死的贱人 Fucking bitch.
但妳却来到这里 But now you're sitting here
坐在我们旁边 right beside us
想找毒品 and you're looking for a fix.
是找你们帮忙 A favor.
帮忙找毒品 The favor is a fix.
-妳变成该死的毒虫了 -我才不是 - You're a fucking junkie now. - No, I'm not.
-妳就是该死的毒虫 -不 - You're a fucking junkie. - No.
-妳就是 -对，妳就是 Yeah, you are. - Yeah, you are.
-承认吧，妳是该死的毒虫 Come on. You're a fuckin' junkie.
-不，我跟你们不一样 No. I'm not like you.
艾莉强森 Allie Johnson,
你比你想的更像 you're so much more like who you think we are
你心目中的我们 than we actually are.
来吧，说啊 Come on. Say it, say it, say it.
〝我是该死的毒虫〞 搞不好妳会喜欢 "I'm a fucking junkie." You might like it.
去你的，那只是药丸 Fuck you. It's a pill.
那是披着美丽外表的海洛因 It's heroin in a pretty little dress.
我以为你是嘴巴干净的那个 I thought you were the nice one.
妳怎么不说呢？ Why don't you say it?Say...
说〝我是该死的毒虫〞 Say,"I'm a fucking junkie,"
我就去帮妳弄来，什么东西都可以 and then I'll get you whatever you want. Anything.
说吧，用嘴巴说出来 Say it. Just, like, just come out with it.
-我现在很依赖… I'm currently reliant...
-不，我不是这么说的 No, that's not what I fucking said.
妳这个狡猾的小骚货 我不是这么说的 You sneaky little bitch. That's not what I fucking said.
-我是这么说的吗？ -不是 - Is that what I said? - No.
我不是这么说的 That is not what I said.
说〝我是该死的毒虫〞，看着我 Say you're a fuckin' junkie. Look at me.
看着我 Look at me!
看着我的眼睛说 Look me in the eyes, and say,
〝我是该死的毒虫〞 "I'm a fucking junkie."
说啊 Say it!
我是该死的毒虫 I'm a fucking junkie.
乖 Good girl.
贝丝，这两杯龙舌兰算我的 Beth, I got these tequilas.
抱歉我讲话太大声 I'm sorry for raising my voice.
我们只是在叙旧 We're just catching up.
艾莉，这位是贝丝 Allie, this is Beth.
她最棒了 She's divine. She's the best.
那不是疼始康定 That's not Oxy.
一样啦 Same shit.
谢谢，她刚进家门 Thank you. Ooh, she just walked in.
天啊，我好担心妳 Oh, my God. I was so worried about you.
妳去哪里了？ Where were you?
-对不起 -宝贝 - I'm so sorry. - Oh, babe, oh.
-对不起 -不 - I'm sorry. - Uh-huh. No...
我需要帮助 I need help.
我知道，我不该把 I know. I never should have
那些药冲下马桶的 flushed those pills down the toilet.
我没有权利这么做 对不起，我只是太担心了 I had no right. I'm so sorry. I was just so worried.
-妈妈，妳可以帮帮我吗？ Can you help me, please, Mama?
-可以，我已经帮了 Yes, yes, I already did.
这是琳达给我的 Here, I got these from Linda.
她在商场里我隔壁的 She's the woman who works next to me
玩具机台工作 in the toy kiosk at the mall.
她被顺手牵羊的小偷揍了一拳后 Her doctor gave them to her
医生开了这个给她 after she got punched in the face by a shoplifter,
但是她说她不需要 but she said she didn't need them.
她靠护颈就够了 She swore by the neck brace.
但是妳需要，来 But you need 'em, honey. So here.
这是琳达送的礼物，好吗？ That right there is a gift from Linda, okay?
戒掉的事之后再来担心 And we can worry about kicking it later.
先别急 Let's not rush things.
最重要的是妳平安回到家了 What matters the most is that you're home safe.
我的宝贝 Oh, babe. Oh, my baby.
小芮？ Hey, Ry?
我买了中菜 Got Chinese food!
有糖醋鸡 I got sweet and sour chicken,
青花菜炒牛肉、白饭… beef with broccoli, steamed rice.
妳在哪里？ Where are ya?
小芮？ Hey, Ry?
芮恩？ Ryan!
搞什么…丹尼尔，出去 What the... Daniel, get out!
嘿 - Hey. Hey!
好 Okay. Whoa, whoa! Okay.
冷静点 不是你想像中的那样 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down! It's not what you think.
我很确定就是我想像中的那样 你几岁了？ I'm pretty sure it is what I think. How old are you?
-丹尼尔，放开他 Daniel! Get off of him.
-闭嘴 Shut up!
问你个问题，小子，你多大？ I asked you a question, boy. How old are you?
-20 -她16岁，而我干过警察 - I'm 20. - She's 16, and I'm an ex-cop.
-看来你挑错人了 Looks like you picked the wrong girl.
你快掐死他了 You're choking him!
她在网路上说她18岁了 She said she was 18 online.
要是再被我抓到你靠近我外孙女 If I ever catch you near my granddaughter again,
我就把你的老二扯下来 I'm gonna rip your fucking dick off
塞进你的嘴里 知道吗？ and shove it down your throat. You feel me?
-知道了，先生 Yes, sir. Yes.
给我滚出去 Get the fuck out of here.
是，先生，我需要衣服 Yes, sir. Uh, I need my clothes.
这里是我家，衣服归我了 They're in my house. They're my clothes now.
快滚 Run away!
丹尼尔 Daniel!
滚出我的房间 Get out of my fucking room!
你搞什么？ What the fuck?
大家快看 Hey, look, everybody!
威廉斯堡来的儿童强奸犯 Statutory rapist from Williamsburg!
我需要钥匙 I need my keys!
他的钥匙，快瞧瞧他 Oh, his keys! His keys! Look at him!
他连滚带爬跑向他的车了 儿童强奸犯 He's scrambling to his car! Statutory rapist!
贝琳达， Hey, Belinda,
我抓到这个蠢蛋 和芮恩在床上 I found this fool in bed with my Ryan.
-她说她18了 She said... She said she was 18 online.
-你是渣男 You're a fuckboy.
现在的小孩都称他们为渣男 He's a fuckboy! That's what the kids call them!
滚出我的社区，渣男 Get out of our neighborhood, fuckboy!
-好了 Okay. Okay!
-快走，渣男 Get out of here, fuckboy!
好的，好的 All right! All right!
妈的现在 Right fucking now!
-全身湿答答的弱鸡渣男 - Wet, flaccid fuckboy! Okay, okay!
-好啦 Okay!
我不敢相信你竟然这么做 I cannot believe you just did that!
把手机给我 Give me your phone.
把他妈的手机给我 Give me the fucking phone right now!
妳被禁足了 You're grounded.
听见没？妳被禁足了，直到… You hear me? You're grounded until...
妈的，我想不到 你要被禁足到什么时候 Shit, I can't think of when you won't be grounded.
你不能把我关着，丹尼尔 You can't just lock me up, Daniel.
我说最后一次 For the last fucking time, Ryan,
芮恩，叫我外公 you call me "Grandpa."
我恨你，我恨死你了 I hate you! I fucking hate you!
♪ Oh, I'm headed to the mountains ♪
♪ I'll be back in a week or two ♪
♪ Don't you try to reach me ♪
♪ 'Cause I won't pick up for you ♪
♪ I've got some things I neeed to do ♪
♪ Oh, I'm headed to the mountains ♪
♪ The only place I feel at peace ♪
♪ And I knew you'd come after me ♪
♪ So I threw away your keys... ♪
♪ But I know you'd never go when I say leave ♪
♪ I'm headed to the mountains don't wait up for me ♪
艾莉森，不要走 Allison, don't go.
-这是个错误 -不，不是的 相信我 - This was a mistake. - No. No, it isn't.
我知道来到这里有多难 Trust me, I know how hard it is to get here.
几乎是不可能做到的事 而妳还是来了 It's damn near impossible, and you did it.
别因为我而走开 Don't run away now because of me.
还有很多其他的聚会 There are thousands of meetings.
我去参加别场 对 - I'll find another one. - Well, yeah,
但是这场的零食最好吃 but this one has the best snacks.
-我想走了 -不行 - I wanna go. - No.
妳都来了，换做我就没办法 No, no. You've made it this far, and I wouldn't.
我不想来 I don't wanna be here.
没有人一开始就想 Nobody does in the beginning.
我哪里都不想去 I don't wanna be anywhere.
那妳绝对来对地方 了 Then you are definitely in the right spot.
我以为你戒酒了 I thought you were sober.
十年了 Ten years.
我原本已经不太来定期聚会了 I kinda slacked off coming to regular meetings,
然后最近… and then lately, I...
我发现我需要支援 I realized I need the support.
-是因为那件事吗？ Because of what happened?
-不，是… No, no, no! No, it's...
你会回来这里是因为那场车祸吗？ Is the accident the reason why you came back?
不，我只是觉得 No, I just feel that...
丹尼尔，是我害你回来这里的吗？ Daniel, am I the reason why you're back here?
对 Yes!
当然是 Yes, of course.
妳要我说什么？ What the hell do you want me to say?
-对不起 -没事 - I'm sorry. - No.
听着 Look.
我戒酒戒了十年 而最近 I got ten years, and lately, I've been feeling
我真的很想喝酒 like I really, really want a drink.
这很有用 This works.
谢谢 Thank you.
我去找其他地方 Um, I'm gonna find somewhere else.
还有很多聚会 There are thousands of these meetings.
对，但是妳却找到了这里 Yeah, but somehow you found your way to this one.
这不是很有意义吗？ Now isn't that something?
好，来吧 All right, come on.
来吧 Come on.
好 Okay.
欢迎大家 Everybody, welcome.
这是活出意义 This is the regular meeting
匿名戒酒会的定期聚会 of the Live and Let Live group of Alcoholics Anonymous.
我叫希蒙 My name is Simone,
我酗酒，也是你们的秘书 and I'm an alcoholic, and your secretary.
首先我们从默祷开始 Let us open the meeting with the Serenity Prayer.
神啊 God...
请赐给我宁静 ...grant me the serenity
让我接受我无法改变的事 to accept the things I cannot change,
赐给我勇气，让我改变我能改变的事 the courage to change the things I can,
赐给我智慧，让我分辨是非 and the wisdom to know the difference.
妳今天起得真早 Hey, you got up awfully early this morning.
我去了匿名戒瘾会 I went to an NA meeting.
什么？真的吗？ What? You did? - Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
艾莉，听到妳这么说我真开心 Oh, Allie. I'm so happy to hear that.
我可没有说我会再去 Well, I'm not saying I'm gonna go again.
妳总得找个地方开始 Well, you gotta start somewhere,
听起来妳开始了 and sounds like you did.
所以这是好事 - Mm-hmm. - So that's good.
不过我不知道我能不能就这么戒掉 I don't know if I'll be able to just quit, though, Mom.
我需要真正的帮助 I think I need real help,
像是住院病人计划什么的 like an in-patient program or something.
亲爱的，我们都没有保险 Well, honey, neither of us has insurance,
要怎么筹得出钱？ so how the hell are we supposed to pay for that?
妳得去找工作 I mean, you gotta get a job.
妈，我这样谁敢用我？ Mom, who's gonna hire me like this?
-拜托 -不 - Come on. - Like, no...
什么意思？ What do you mean?
妳是个26岁的美女 You're a beautiful 26-year-old woman.
-聪明、搞笑… -我才不是 - You're smart, you're funny... - No, I'm not. No, I'm not.
-妳就是 -我不是 - Yes, you are. - No, I'm not.
妳说的是过去的我 That's the old me you're describing.
-妳还是妳啊 You're still you.
-我不是了，我… No, I'm not! I'm...
我变了 I'm something else.
我变成… I'm something...
我在想 I was thinking, um...
爸爸可能原本会送我结婚礼物 You know how Dad was probably gonna get me a wedding gift,
至少他原本要过来，对吧？ or, well, at least he was gonna come, right?
也许不论他要 Maybe instead of whatever it was
送我什么 that he was gonna give me,
他可以付钱让我去找人帮忙 maybe he could help pay for me to get help.
不知道妳愿不愿意替我打给他 And so, I was wondering if you
艾莉，只要我还有一口气在 would call him for me.
我就不可能打给那个男人 Allie, I will never speak to that man as long as I live.
妳知道他做了什么事吗？ Do you know what he did?
他把行李放上车，什么都不留给我们 He packed his car up, and he left us with nothing.
但事情就是这样了，好吗？ But it is what it is, okay?
所以妳得靠自己振作起来 So, you gotta pull yourself up by your bootstraps, now.
谢了，妈妈 Thanks, Mom.
抱歉我没办法如妳的愿 Yeah, I'm sorry I can't get over this
这么快就好起来 as fast as you want me to.
-艾莉 -没事了 - Allie... - Nah.
瞧瞧是谁呀 Well, look who it is.
嗨，爸爸 Hi, Dad.
什么风把你吹到这个破地方来了？ What brings you to the less glamorous side of the river?
芮恩要我来找她 Ryan asked me to come see her.
原来她是要我跟你谈 Turns out, she really wanted me to talk to you.
她很担心你 - Oh? - She's worried about you.
她很担心我？ She's worried about me?
那小鬼疯了 That girl's crazy.
她说她觉得你需要朋友 She says she thinks you need a friend.
我才不需要朋友 Hell, I don't need a friend.
我只是需要能关得住青少女的狗笼 I need a dog crate the size of a teenager.
听着，奈森 我明白你 Look, Nathan, I understand your need
在分手之后得往前走 to move on after the breakup...
但是我没想到 but, hell, I never imagined
这一切竟然得要我自己来 I'd be doing this all by myself.
-你养大了两个小孩 You raised two kids.
-当时还有你妈妈 I had your mother.
而且你和你妹妹比小芮乖多了 And you and your sister were much better behaved than Ry.
怎么样？拜托，有话就说，儿子 What? Come on. Speak your mind, son.
我们很乖是因为我们怕你 We were good because we were terrified of you.
所以当你没了 So, I'm not surprised
这项武器之后 you don't have any tools in your arsenal
就治不住小孩，我并不意外 since you lost the only one that you had.
恐惧 Fear.
我已经为我的行径道歉过不下千百次 I have apologized 100 times to you for the way I was.
你妹妹找到方法给我一次机会 Your sister found a way to give me another chance.
怎么你就不行？ How come you can't?
因为最深受其害的人不是茉莉 你说是吧？ 'Cause Molly never really got the brunt of it, did she?
我保证要是她现在还在这里 I guarantee you that if she was standing here now,
她一定会求你 放下这一切 she would be begging you to drop this shit,
帮我养育她的孩子 and help me raise her child.
但是她不在了 Well, she isn't.
对，她不在了 No, she's not.
我得去赶火车 I have to catch the train.
我见到艾莉森了 I saw Allison.
-在哪里？ Where?
-我不能说 Not supposed to say.
匿名戒酒会？ AA?
-我不能说 Not supposed to say.
-她去匿名戒酒会做什么？ What the hell does she need AA for?
-我不能… -说 - I'm not supposed to... - To say.
我知道 I got it.
聚会这么多，她却去了你那场？ Of all the meetings, she ends up at yours?
她看到我原本想离开 She saw me, she tried to run away,
但是我把她拉回来 but I pulled her back.
为什么？ Why?
她很痛苦，奈森 She's suffering, Nathan.
大受打击 Broken.
失魂落魄 Lost.
当初是你怪罪她的 You're the one who blamed her!
我一直都挺她 I stood by her!
对，直到她抛下你 Yeah, until she left your ass.
对不起，我没有那个意思 Sorry. Sorry, that came out harsher than I meant.
我得去赶火车了 I have to catch the train.
拜托，奈森 Please, Nathan.
我需要帮助 I need help.
芮恩要我过来跟你打招呼 Ryan asked me to come by and say "hi" to you.
我来了 And I did.
好 Okay.
你好 Hi.
-史上最棒的约会 -这话我听过 - Best first date ever. - I heard that.
我以前常会喝威士忌喝到不省人事 I used to drink whiskey until I blacked out.
隔天早上醒来才发现 Wake up the next morning to find out
我做了什么事，身边是什么人 what I had done, who I had been.
我父亲是个酒鬼 My father was a drunk.
他一直揍我，揍到他死去的那天 He beat me right up to the day he died.
我发誓我绝对不会对小孩动手 And I vowed I would never lay a hand on my children.
而我也真的没有 And I didn't...
但仅限于我清醒的时候 while I was sober.
但是发酒疯的时候… But in the blackness...
我总是拒绝承认，因为我真的记不得 I always denied because I really couldn't remember.
有时候会有瘀伤 Sometimes there'd be a bruise.
〝你一定是跌倒了〞 "Oh, you must have fallen down.
〝我是你爸爸，我绝对不会伤害你〞 "I'm your daddy. I would never hurt you."
1999年8月11日 August 11th, '99...
我在我家前阳台被教会的钟声 I woke up on my front porch to the sound of church bells...
和冰淇淋车的声音吵醒 and an ice cream truck.
所以我知道那天是星期天 So, I knew it was Sunday.
我第一眼看到的景象 是我的队长 First thing I saw was my captain
站在我前面 standing over me,
用他的手电筒戳着我的肋骨 poking me in the ribs with his nightstick.
救护车 An ambulance.
我儿子奈森 坐在后面 My son, Nathan, sitting in the back,
头流着血 bleeding from the head.
医护人员买了冰棒给他 Medics had bought him a popsicle.
原来 Turns out that...
在我发酒疯的时候 in the blackness...
我疯狂揍他 I had beat him so bad
结果导致他的右耳 that he lost the hearing in his right ear.
永远失聪 Forever.
直到现在，每次我见到他 And to this day, every time I see him,
都会求他原谅我 I beg for his forgiveness.
这是我们的默契 It's just a little dance we do.
就是个形式而已 A mere formality.
因为我们都知道 Because we both know...
有些事情 that there are some things that are just
是无法原谅的 impossible to forgive.
我相信 连神都知道这点 I do believe even God knows that.
我当警察的时候，每天都来这里吃饭 When I was a cop, I used to eat here every day.
咖啡可以免费续杯 Free coffee refills.
妳饿吗？ You hungry?
不饿 No.
那些我们不再在乎的事说来很有趣 Funny, the things we stop caring about.
我以前总是很想旅行 I used to want to travel.
我会看着《国家地理杂志》 I would leaf through National Geographic
折起我退休之后 and dog-ear all of the exotic places
想去的外国景点 I would visit once I retired.
我现在不这么做了 Never do that now.
-你还是可以呀 -没办法 - You still could. - No, no. I couldn't.
对了，我当时并没有… 喝醉酒 或嗑了什么药 I wasn't drunk, or on anything, by the way.
什么？ What?
我那天在聚会看到你的时候 When I saw you the other day at the meeting,
立刻就开始担心你可能会以为 I instantly got worried that you may have thought that I was drinking or on drugs
事发当天我喝了酒或嗑了药 并没有 on the day of the accident, and I wasn't.
我当时很清醒 那不是我的错 I was sober. It wasn't my fault.
我所有报告都倒背如流 I have every report ever written committed to memory.
对 Right.
那你就知道一切都是那个 So, you know that it was
开挖土机的阿瓦瑞兹害的 the backhoe guy's fault, Alvarez.
我现在不想谈这个 I don't wanna get into that all right now.
好，你说得对 Okay, yeah, you're right.
奈森说他出生就听不见了 Nathan said that he was deaf since birth.
他从来没告诉过妳？ He never told you?
也许他希望我能喜欢你 Maybe he wanted me to like you.
我怀疑 I doubt that.
我以为养育芮恩能给我机会 I thought that raising Ryan would offer me the chance
成为比以前更好的父亲 to be a better father than I ever was.
妈的 Shit.
我麻烦大了 I'm in way over my head.
我从图书馆借了有声书 I got one of those audiobooks from the library.
-《如何和青少年沟通》 How to Talk to a Teen.
-是吗？ Oh, yeah?
结果怎么样？ How's that working out?
那是1980年的著作 - Well, it's from the '80s...
-而且是用录音带录的 It's on a cassette.
-好的 Right.
里头的建议是 Its advice is,
〝陪孩子去跳舞〞 "Chaperone a dance."
我才刚抓到她跟一个 I just caught her having sex
看起来像男人的屁孩上床 with a boy who looked like a man.
只有跳舞的话就太好了 A dance would be delightful.
我可以给你一点建议吗？ Can I give you some advice
毕竟我也当过青少女 from a former teenage girl?
她迟早会上床的 She's gonna have sex.
你说什么都不会改变这点 And nothing you say is gonna change that.
确保她有避孕就好 Just make sure she's on birth control.
-避孕？ -对 - Birth control? - Yeah.
她才16岁 She's 16!
不行，我要禁止她喝酒享乐 No, we'll be going the abstinence route.
我没别的意思，丹尼尔 No offense, Daniel,
但是你的逻辑有矛盾 but, uh, there's a knot in your logic.
你想透过视而不见 You're trying to solve a problem
来解决问题 by looking in the other direction.
你愿意的话，我可以跟她谈谈 I could talk to her if you want me to.
不了，谢谢 Oh, well, no thanks.
-没关系 -这样不太恰当 - It's okay. Of course. - That's not appropriate.
当然，我不知道为什么我会说出口 I don't even know why I just said that.
-对不起 -没关系 - I'm sorry. - No, it's okay.
-我觉得这样不… It's just that I don't think that it's...
-我只是出于本能 I just felt the need,
想要帮忙 um, the instinct to help in some way.
这是我至少能做的 It's the least I could do.
我不知道要怎么做 I don't know how to do this.
做什么？ What?
重新开始 Start all over.
你是怎么做到的？ How do you do it?
这需要一番心力 Takes work.
-可以跟你讲个秘密吗？ -当然 - Can I tell you a secret? - Sure.
我不知道我有没有这个毅力 I'm not sure I have the will.
你手上的刺青是什么意思？ What does "amor fati" mean?
有些事不适合跟外人说 Certain things are private.
你觉得我完了吗？ Do you think I'm fucked up?
妳嗑了药吗？ Are you high right now?
没有 No.
我当警察当了40年 I was a cop for 40 years.
酗酒酗了50年 I was an addict for 50.
所以我再问妳一次 So, I'm gonna ask you again.
妳嗑嗨了吗？ Are you high right now?
我… Well, I...
我把药丸分成两半 I broke a pill in half.
吃了一半 So, half.
对，我觉得妳完了，艾莉森 Yes, I think you're fucked up, Allison.
不只一半而已 Not half.
而是全部完了 All fucked up.
你觉得我能振作起来吗？ Do you think I'll ever pull out of this?
也许有一天 我能成为那种 I mean, like, maybe one day I might be the kind of person
人们放心让外孙女和她 that people want their granddaughter
出去的人吗？ to hang out with?
我不知道 I have no idea.
我也不知道 Me neither.
可以把手机还我吗，拜托？ Can I have my phone back, please?
我不知道要怎么应付妳了，芮恩 I'm running out of ideas on how to handle you, Ryan.
外公，我这个年纪的人都会跟人上床 Grandpa, everybody at my age has sex.
这没什么大不了的 It's, like, not a big deal.
我知道这跟你那个年代不一样 I know it was different when you were younger,
但是情况已经不一样了 but that's just, like, not how it is anymore.
我问妳 Well, let me ask you something.
妳… Are you...
有没有… Are you using
避孕？ any protection?
天啊 Oh, my God!
我才不要跟我外公讨论这个 I am so not gonna talk about this with my grandfather.
妳觉得我有什么感觉？ How the hell do you think I feel?
-我知道妳很生气 -我没有生气 - I know you're upset. - I'm not upset.
也许妳该继续 Maybe you should go back
去看那个心理医生 and see that therapist again.
不，我只想 No. I just
拿回我的手机 want my phone back.
我在哥伦比亚没有朋友 I don't have any friends at Columbia
我想联络 and I want to
我在长堤仅存的几个朋友 hang onto the few I still have on Long Beach Island.
妳怎么会交不到朋友？ How come you can't make friends?
我今年经历了很多事 I've been through a lot this year.
没有人能够真正理解 And nobody really understands.
有些人想尝试，但是… They try. Some, but...
那太假了 I mean, it's fake.
你不觉得大多数人都很假吗？ Don't you think most people are so fake?
我大概会用〝双面人〞这个词 I would probably say "duplicitous."
那是什么意思？ What does that mean?
就是很假 Fake.
我站在妳这边 I'm on your side.
我知道 I know.
这样吧 Tell you what.
妳可以拿回手机 You can have your phone back
但是妳要保证妳会吃避孕药 if you promise to start taking birth control pills.
-天啊，丹尼尔 Ugh! Oh, my God! Daniel!
-叫外公 Grandpa!
外公 Grandpa.
所以妳答应了吗？我来预约 Is it a deal? I'll make the appointment.
好吧 Fine. Fine.
我再也 I just
不想跟你谈这些了 never want to talk to you about sex ever again.
真的吗？ Oh, really?
因为我爱死了 'Cause I just love this shit.
-妳以前来过校园吗？ Have you ever been on campus before?
-长大之后就没有了 Not since I was a kid.
我以前会来这里参加游泳比赛 I used to do swim meets here.
-真的吗？ -真的 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
-妳以前很会游泳？ -对 - You were a swimmer? Uh, yeah.
我当时才12岁，但是我很厉害 Well, I was 12, but yeah, I was pretty good.
我还留着那些奖杯和缎带 I still have all the trophies and the ribbons.
真棒 - That's cool. - Mmm.
-妳游哪一种？ -大多是自由式 - What stroke? - Mostly freestyle.
为什么没继续游了？ Why'd you stop?
我爸离开了 Um, my dad left.
对，我们以前会一起参加比赛 Yeah, it was kinda the thing that we used to do together.
他喊得很大声，我在水中都听得见 He would cheer so loud I could hear him underwater.
没有他游泳似乎就没有意义了 Seemed kind of pointless to do it without him.
-他去哪里了？ -俄亥俄 - Where'd he go? - Ohio.
-在那里有了新的家庭 Started a whole new family in Ohio.
-哇 Wow.
他有一对十岁的双胞胎 He has 10-year-old twins. Yeah.
不过我不知道他们会不会游泳 I don't know if they swim or not, though.
我总是对那些 Oh, man. I am always just amazed at people
可以这样抛下小孩的人感到惊奇 who can, like, up and leave their kids like that.
他们晚上怎么 I just don't know how you could,
能够入睡？ like, fucking sleep at night.
我有很长一段时间 以为是我做错了事 For so long, I thought that I'd done something wrong.
觉得那是我的错，或是我让他失望了 Like, it was my fault, or I'd let him down.
后来我才明白 And then I just realized,
我也说不上来 也许有些人就不是好人 I don't know, maybe some people just aren't good.
这仿佛就是在电玩里用全新的生命 It's kinda like he, like, restarted a level
开启新的关卡 in a video game with a fresh life.
他就是这么做 - That's exactly what he did!
他把行李放上车 将他的劳力士 He packed up the car, and left his Rolex
留在娃娃屋的阁楼里 in the attic of my dollhouse,
然后就离开了 and he drove away.
-我们坐一下吧？ Hey, let's sit for a second, okay?
-好 - Yeah, yeah.
我会赞助妳 Uh... So, I'll sponsor you.
但是… - Okay. - But, um,
妳得 开始认真投入 you gotta start taking this shit seriously.
妳不能嗑了药，还来参加聚会 You can't keep coming to meetings high.
什么？ What?
妳怎么知道？ How did you know?
因为我曾经是妳 Uh, because I was you.
而且我帮过好几十个像妳这样的女生 And I've helped dozens of women who were you.
有些人成功，有些人死了 And some beat it, and some are dead.
但是妳要知道 But, you know,
如果妳想花我的时间，就得认真投入 if you want my time, you gotta commit.
因为我有个蹒跚学步的孩子要照顾 Because I have a toddler so I just
没时间应付一堆狗屁 - don't have time for bullshit. - Yeah.
不，我真的想成功 No, I do. I... I... I really wanna beat it.
那么妳要在90天里参加90场聚会 Then I want you to do 90 meetings in 90 days.
-哇 -对 - Wow. - Yeah.
我们会开始让妳进行第一步 And, um, we're gonna get you started on step one.
好 Okay.
还有，别再躲着了 Also, enough hiding out, man.
妳该开始和大家分享故事了 It's time you shared with the group.
好 - All right. - Uh...
嗨，我是艾莉森，我沉迷于… Hi, I'm Allison, and I'm addicted to, uh,
药丸 pills.
嗨，艾莉森 Hi, Allison.
抱歉，可以再来一次吗？ Sorry. Can I start again?
我从来没做过这种事，很紧张 I've never done this before, and I'm nervous.
没问题 You got it.
嗨，我是艾莉森，我是… 成瘾者 Hi, I'm Allison, and I'm an addict.
嗨，艾莉森 Hi, Allison.
我… I...Um...
我开车遇上 I was the driver of a car
严重的车祸 that was in a really bad accident.
死了两个人 Two people died.
那个女生… The woman was...
原本即将成为我的小姑 The woman was about to be my sister-in-law.
我们当时正要去试我的婚纱 We were on our way to try on my wedding dresses.
结果去不成 And then we weren't.
那不是我的错 It wasn't my fault.
我那天没有嗑药或喝酒 I wasn't on drugs or booze, or drunk, or anything.
但是… But, uh...
那天存活下来 Surviving that day was, is...
是我这一生 the most painful thing
得承担最痛苦的事 I will ever have to live through.
我也受了伤 I got hurt, too.
他们在我头上钻了一个洞 They put a hole in my head.
然后… And, um,
这很有帮助，因为至少我可以 that helped because at least I had something
把痛苦怪罪在这上面 I could blame the pain on.
但是后来伤好了 But then that healed...
我还是很痛 and I was still hurting.
我想那是因为我没有发现 And I guess that's why I didn't realize
那到底多么严重 how bad it was because to me...
因为我依然好痛苦 I was still in so much pain.
医生开的药 原本是要给我缓和身体的疼痛 I was, um, prescribed them for physical pain,
那也真的有效 and they really helped with that. They really did.
但是那也让我整个人麻痹 But they made me numb. Blissfully numb.
没有了药，我就好想死 Without them I want to die.
每天都想 Every day.
我从来没说出这些事过 I've never said that out loud before.
我从来没有在吃完药之后 面对现实过 I've never really faced reality without them.
我不知道我能不能应付眼前的景象 但是我想要努力 And I don't know if I'll be able to handle what I see,but I'm here to try.
好，就这样 Okay. That's it.
就这样了 That's it.
现在呢？ What happens now?
这些都是你做的？ You made all of this?
这是我组装和设计的 Uh, I assembled it and designed it.
对 Yeah.
房屋都是成套的 You see, the houses come as a kit.
只要组装起来上色就好 You just assemble them and paint them...
校舍是我自己做的 Schoolhouse, I built from scratch.
后面这里有两个孩子在亲热 Hey, there are two kids making out back here.
那是我 - That's me.
你当时真英俊 - You were handsome.
而且好小 And tiny.
对，我的初吻是在校舍后面 Yeah, my very first kiss behind the schoolhouse.
奥莉维雅威廉斯 Olivia Williams.
当时是秋天，她的鼻尖很冰 It was fall. Tip of her nose was cold.
还流着鼻水 Little runny.
她踮着脚，嘴巴有泡泡糖的味道 She stood on tiptoe. Tasted like bubble gum.
-你后来跟她结婚了吗？ -没有 Is that who you married? No! No, no.
她隔天就为了查理库克把我甩了 No, she dumped me the next day for Charlie Cook.
他抽骆驼牌香烟 - Oh. - He smoked Camels.
开一辆别克硬顶敞篷车 And drove a Buick Riviera Roadmaster.
所以这些灵感都来自你的人生？ So, is this all inspired by your life?
算是吧 Kinda.
这是南奥兰治 Supposed to be South Orange.
我是在这里长大的 I grew up here.
我在纽华克当警察 I was a cop in Newark.
我一直住在这里 I've always lived here.
这个军人是谁？ Who's the soldier?
是我 That's me.
我从越南回来的那天 Day I got home from Vietnam.
另一个人偶是我父亲 That other little figure there is my father.
他来车站街我 He came down to the station to pick me up.
真是太了不起了 - This is incredible. - Mm.
-你花了多久时间？ How long did it take you?
-好几年 Years.
一开始只是简单的8字型 I started with a single figure-eight
和一辆两节车厢的火车 and a two-car train.
我一有时间就在弄这个 I work on it when I can.
退休之后时间更多了 Got more time now that I've retired.
老婆也去世了 My wife passed.
芮恩以前常和我在底下这里鬼混 Ryan used to hang out with me down here.
她喜欢哨子和麦克风 She liked the whistle and the microphone.
-还有麦克风？ There's a microphone?
-就在那里 Right over there.
不然要怎么通知旅客火车进站？ How else you gonna tell your passengers
- that the train's coming?
♪ Take the last train to Clarksville ♪
♪ And I'll meet you at the station ♪
♪ You can be there by 4:30 ♪
♪ 'Cause I booked your reservation ♪
♪ Don't be slow ♪
♪ Oh no no no ♪
♪ And I don't know if I'm ever ♪
♪ Coming home ♪
这是献给各位 That was just a little serenade for your people
来自上天的小夜曲 from the heavens above.
这就是我如此喜欢的其中一个原因 Think that's one of the reasons I enjoy it so much.
为什么？因为你能扮演上帝吗？ Why? 'Cause you get to play God?
我人生中有很多失控的时候 Well, so much of my life has been outta control.
在这里 Down here,
我可以决定奥莉维雅是否选择了我 I get to decide if Olivia chooses me.
我可以决定我回家的时候 I get to decide if my father comes
我父亲是否有来车站接我 to pick me up at the station when I get home.
-他有去吗？ Did he?
-没有 No.
他醉倒在我家后院 He was passed out drunk in our backyard.
他倒了好久 He'd lain face down so long,
背上积了2.5公分厚的雪 an inch of snow had gathered on his back.
隔天早上吃早餐的时候 他问我要不要啤酒 Next morning at breakfast, he offered me a beer,
所以 so...
我就在吃早餐时陪他喝啤酒 I had a beer with him at breakfast,
然后就再也没有停下来 and I never stopped.
妳上次跟奈森说话是什么时候？ When did you last talk to Nathan?
丹尼尔，我是上帝 Daniel, this is God.
艾莉森想请你换个话题 Allison would like you to change the conversation now.
我想也是 - I'll bet she would.
好了，我们走吧 All right. Let's get outta here.
芮恩？ Ryan?
现在才一点，妳怎么回家了？ It's only one o'clock. Why are you home?
今天有校园枪手演习，只上半天课 We had a half-day for the active shooter drill.
我早上跟你说过了 - I told you this morning.
这是我参加聚会的一位朋友 Well, this is a friend of mine from the program.
嗨 Hi.
妳好 Hi.
-妳该走了 -对 - You should probably get going. - Yeah. Yeah.
我这就离开 I'm gonna go.
等等，我在哪里见过妳 Wait, I know you from somewhere.
并没有 No, you don't.
-真的吗？ You do?
-我怎么会见过妳？ How do I know you?
我叫艾莉森 Uh... My... I'm...I'm Allison.
妳不是说枪手演习两点才结束吗？ Yeah, I've seen you before.
对，我一定见过妳 I thought you said the active shooter drill ended at 2:00.
对，因为假枪手会回击 Yeah, that's when the pretend shooter fights back.
今天他自杀了，所以我们提早放学 Today, he shot himself, so we got out early.
-我为什么会见过妳？ -我不知道该说什么 Why do I know you? I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say.
-妳是奈森的未婚妻 -不是 - You were Nathan's fiancee. - No.
-妳当时在车上 -没有 - You were in the car. - No.
-对，我在车上 -开车的不是妳吗？ - I was, yeah. - Weren't you driving?
开车的不是她吗？ Wasn't she driving?
我们参加同一场聚会 We're in the program together.
-你不是说那是她的错吗？ -什么？ - But I thought you said it was her fault. - What?
你怎么能带她进我们家？ How could you bring her into our house?
-滚出我们家 -好 Get out of our fucking house!
-对不起 -没事 - Okay. It's okay. I'm sorry. I...
抱歉，我以为妳在学校 I'm so sorry. I thought you were in school.
-妳毁了我的人生 You ruined my fucking life!
-我知道，真的很抱歉 I know, I know, I know. I'm... I'm really sorry.
妳不该来的，这里是我们家 You shouldn't be here! This is our house!
我妈妈在这里长大 My mom grew up in here!
我睡在她的卧房，用她的床单 I sleep in her bedroom. I use her sheets!
好了，她要走了 All right. All right. She's leaving.
如果这是我最后一次 Uh, just in case this is the last time
跟妳说话 请妳知道 I ever get to talk to you, please know,
我也希望死的是我 I also wish it was me.
好吗？真的 Okay? I do.
我这就走了 I'm gonna go.
我没能跟她说再见 I never got to say goodbye.
我知道 I know.
他们原本要去看剧 They were going to see a play.
我知道 I know.
她想去看音乐剧 She wanted to see a musical,
因为她喜欢那些华丽的戏服 because she loved all the fancy costumes.
这我不知道 I didn't know that.
她说妳让奈森很幸福 She said you made Nate really happy.
说妳是他这一生最棒的事 That you were the best thing that ever happened to him.
他也让我很幸福 He made me happy, too.
好，我要走了 Okay, I'm gonna go.
艾莉森 - Allison.
什么事？ Yeah.
妳想留下来吃晚餐吗？ Would you like to stay for dinner?
什么？ What?
所以妳也酗酒？ So, you're an alcoholic, too?
芮恩 Ryan.
没有 Uh, no.
我的问题不是酗酒 Alcohol's not exactly my problem.
那是什么？冰毒吗？ - What is? Meth?
芮恩 Ryan.
不，不是冰毒 No. Not meth. Um...
处方止痛药 Prescription painkillers.
疼始康定 Oxy.
妳怎么知道疼始康定？ How do you know about Oxy?
我学校的同学有在吸 Kids at my school snort it.
那是海洛因耶 It's heroin!
才不是 No, it's not.
那东西比啤酒还好买 I could get it easier than I could get a beer.
连锁药局就有卖 They sell it at Rite Aid.
-妳为什么甩了奈森舅舅？ -芮恩 - So why'd you dump Uncle Nate? - Ryan.
-他说妳搞失踪 He said you ghosted him.
-这不关妳的事 It's not your business.
我只是不明白 I just don't understand how
发生了那些事之后 if he was gonna stay with you,
他还愿意跟妳在一起 even after everything that happened,
妳为什么还甩了他？ why'd you dump him?
我很心烦 I was upset.
所以我逃走了 And so I ran.
-就跟妳不踢足球了一样 -闭嘴 - Like you, quitting soccer. Shut up!
不准叫我闭嘴 You don't say "shut up" to me!
永远不可以 Ever again!
妳为什么不踢足球了？ Why'd you quit soccer?
-她跟人打架 -我讨厌队上的所有人 - She got into a fight. - 'Cause I hate every girl on the team.Oh.
妳爸妈跟我说妳很厉害 Your parents were telling me how amazing you were.
真的吗？ - They were? Mm-hmm.
妳爸说 Your dad actually was saying
妳绝对能拿到奖学金 how you were definitely gonna get a scholarship.
我想去史丹佛 I wanna go to Stanford.
你笑什么？ Why are you laughing?
妳退出球队，在学校乱说话 You quit the team, you're mouthing off in school,
功课也不做 and you're not doing your homework.
还想进史丹佛？ You're gonna get into Stanford?
我没有说我永远不踢球了 I didn't say I quit the team permanently.
我只说我想休息一阵子 I said I wanted to take a break.
而且我成绩曾拿过4.0 And I had a 4.0 down the shore.
只要我想，就能马上恢复 I could get it back in a second if I cared.
-妳为什么不想？ Why don't you care?
-妳觉得呢？ Why, do you think?
-妈的 -好了 Shit. Okay.
-今晚就先这样吧？ -对，我要回家了 Why don't we just call it a night, okay?Yeah, I'm gonna go home.
嘿 Hey, um...
如果妳…我不知道 Um, just in case you, I don't know,
想聊聊 wanna talk, need to talk...
这是我的电话 This is me.
妳自己决定，但是我都在 And it's up to you, but I'm here.
好了 Okay.
-我很抱歉 I'm sorry about all that.
-没事 Uh, it's fine.
现在妳知道我得应付什么了吧 You see what I'm dealing with.
老实说真的没事 Honestly, it's okay.
听着 Look.
她是个很脆弱的孩子 She's a very fragile kid.
所以请妳不要联络她 So, I'd appreciate it if you didn't contact her.
好 Oh.Okay.
好，我只是… Yeah, I just...
我只是想让她知道 如果她想聊聊或什么的 I just wanted her to know that I was available
我都在 if she wanted to talk or anything.
我只是想请妳 I'm just asking if you will
让她自己想吧 please just let her be.
我以童子军的名誉发誓 Scout's honor.
不，那是史巴克说 〝生生不息，繁荣昌盛〞时的手势 No, that's Spock's "Live long and prosper."
我们童子军是这样立誓的 We Boy Scouts do this.
我比较喜欢史巴克 Oh. I prefer Spock.
生生不息，繁荣昌盛，丹尼尔 Live long and prosper, Daniel.
-晚安 -谢谢 Good night. - Thank you.
（疼始康定）
（新讯息，来自芮恩）
（我是芮恩，要喝咖啡吗？）
（丹尼尔要我给妳一点空间）
（我想知道那天的事）
（回去足球队 告诉丹尼尔是我说服妳）
（我会去看妳比赛 我想看妳的身手）
（好吧）
（等等，真的吗？）
（对，我不会让那些臭八婆 妨碍我进史丹佛，周六见）
加油，宝贝 Go, baby! Go, go, go!
-加油 -上啊 Come on, come on, come on.
对了 Come on! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
赞啦 - Yeah!
这才像话 Attagirl!
谢谢 Thank you.
（艾莉，我是丹尼尔 也许让芮恩跟妳聊聊会有帮助）
（放学后去喝咖啡？）
妳为什么去哪都骑脚踏车？ Why do you ride your bike everywhere?
车祸之后我就没搭过车了 I haven't been in a car since the accident.
因为妳觉得内疚吗？ 'Cause you feel guilty?
不 Uh, no.
因为我害怕 Because I feel... scared.
丹尼尔说妳当时在滑手机 Daniel says you were using your phone.
我在看地图 Uh, I was using Maps.
-大家都会看地图 -对，他看了所有报告 Everyone uses Maps. Yeah, well, he has all the reports.
他全都记下来了 He's memorized them.
-他晚上会盯着看，超奇怪的 -好，我在现场 He stares at them at night. It's weird. Okay, well, I was there.
写报告的人不在，所以… And the person who wrote those reports wasn't, so...
告诉我妳为什么和奈森分手 Tell me why you ended it with Nate.
我妈会希望你们还在一起 My mom would want you guys to be together still.
芮恩，我根本不知道要怎么回答 Ryan, I don't even know what to say to that.
我妈以前… My mom used to really, um...
很照顾他，妳知道吧？ just, like, look out for him and stuff, you know? Um...
然后 And...
我觉得现在或许我也该这么做 I've been thinking maybe now I'm supposed to.
因为她没办法照顾他了 Because she can't.
她一定很骄傲 I bet that would make her really proud.
我可以告诉妳他的现况 I could tell you about what's happening with him if you want.
不了，没关系，谢谢 - No, that's okay.Thank you, though.
我很努力想避开… I've tried really hard to avoid all of that...
-他搬到翠贝卡了 He moved to Tribeca.
-哇 Wow.
对，还养了一只狗 Yeah. He has a dog.
狗？ - A dog? - Mm-hmm.
一只法斗，叫贾斯伯 A French Bulldog named Jasper.
他完全不像是喜欢法斗的人 He never really struck me as a Frenchie type,
不过好的 but okay.
是他女友的狗 It's his girlfriend's.
对 Yeah.
我不需要听这些 I... I don't need to hear this.
妳没事吧？ - Are you okay? - Mm-hmm.
他们在一起多久了？ How long have they been going out?
我不知道，大概四个月吧 I don't know. Like, four months, I think.
哇 Wow.
对，她是律师助理 Yeah. She's a paralegal.
我根本不知道那是什么 这是好事吗？ I don't even know what that is. Is that, like, a good thing?
对，哇 Yeah. Wow.
-妳一直〝哇〞个不停 -对 - You just keep saying, "Wow." - Yeah.
有太多东西要消化了 It's just a lot to take in.
我很为他感到开心，真的 I'm really happy for him. I am.
他值得有幸福的人生 He really deserves to be happy.
我… I...
-我不该告诉妳的 -没关系 - I shouldn't have told you. - No, no, no. It's fine.
-但是妳不开心了 But you're upset.
-我们一起经历了好多事 We went through so much together.
我很希望他有好的际遇 I really want good things to happen to him.
-对不起 I'm really sorry
我让妳不开心了 -没关系 - I made you upset. It's okay.
-我去一下洗手间 - I'm gonna go to the bathroom. - I really
-我只是想表达友善 meant for this to be friendly.
等等见 Yeah. I'll see you in a second.
嘿，怎么了吗？ Hey.Is something wrong?
我忘了我有面试 I, um... I forgot I have a job interview.
所以我得走了 So, I'm gonna go.
妳不舒服吗？ - You sick?
对 Yeah.
-是戒断症状吗？ -我在努力中 - Withdrawal? - I'm trying.
好，听着，别放弃 All right. Look, don't stop.
-好吗？ -好 - Okay? - Okay.
千万别吃 Don't use.
-好 Okay.
-今晚别待在家，找点事做 Don't stay home tonight. Do something.
-好 -好吗？ - Okay. Okay. - All right? Okay.
需要抱一下吗？ You need a hug?
抱你 Um, if I hug you,
我会哭出来，所以不行 I'm gonna sob, so no.
-我可以应付得了 Well, I can handle that.
-我不该在芮恩面前哭的 No, I shouldn't. Not in front of Ryan.
好 Okay.
那我用眼神抱妳 Well, I'm hugging you with my eyes.
谢谢你 Thank you.
-自己小心 -好 - Be careful. - Okay.
我得走了，我们下次见 I have to go. So, I'll see you another time.
再见 Bye.
要命 Fuck me.
嘿 Hey.
走吧 Let's go.
这混帐一杯咖啡 This asshole charged me six buck
要收六块钱，走吧 for a cup of coffee. Come on.
好 Okay.
♪ It starts so early now ♪
♪ The sun has gone to Birkenau ♪
♪ As shadows creep across your brow ♪
♪ I love you just the same ♪
妈的 Fuck!
♪ These freakish holidays ♪
♪ That make us act like renegades ♪
♪ A blood bath at the Ice Capades ♪
♪ Just makes me love you ♪
♪ More than I should ever have been allowed ♪
♪ In a world of candy guns ♪
♪ Sweet as demons in the candy apple sun ♪
♪ Think it quiet but then don't sing it loud ♪
♪ Through a world of number ones ♪
♪ Pointed skyward at the... ♪
看着我 Look at me!
♪ ...here like Buffalo ♪
♪ Now it feels like Bamako ♪
♪ I love you seven ways ♪
♪ You wear those baby tees ♪
艾莉 Allie!
艾莉？ Allie?
妳今天有去找工作吗？ Did you job hunt today?
拜托别来烦我 Please leave me alone.
我在逛拍卖网站 I was looking on Etsy.
心想如果能找个 And I was thinking it would be so cute
我们喜欢的手工艺 if we found, like, a craft that we like.
也许就能赚点小钱，妳觉得呢？ And maybe we could make a little money. What do you think?
（芮恩，我很抱歉）
（不用抱歉，我没事）
如果我们可以找些 I was thinking it'd be so cute
有趣的东西来卖也不错 if it was like something fun that we could sell.
（想找点事做吗？）
譬如说婴儿的围兜兜 可以接住食物 Like little bibs for babies that catch their food,
或沙拉酱 or salad dressing.
或者是… Or you know, just...
而且妳知道吗？ And you know what?
搞不好我们可以登上《创业鲨鱼帮》 We could be on Shark Tank!
妳能想像吗，艾莉？ Can you imagine, Allie?
我知道妳会说 And I know you're like,
〝闭嘴，妈妈，你又喝醉了〞 "Oh, shut up, Mom! You're drunk again."But listen...
（不行，我正在写歌）
（我认识的一个帅哥要去城里看团 拜托一起来）
（我没有朋友，笑死）
我想到最棒的点子了 Ooh, I just thought of the best idea!
（丹尼尔不会答应让我们去市区）
我们可以做混凝纸模型 We could do, um, papier-mache!Papier-mache!
我们可以 So it would be like,
跳个舞，唱个歌 do a little dance, a little song.
（好，我要搭8点10分 从南奥兰治出发的火车）
（要是我被绑架，就只能怪妳了）
〝嘿，鲨鱼们〞 I would be like, "Hey, Sharks! Hey, Sharks!"
〝嘿，鲨鱼们〞〝鲨鱼们〞 Hey, Sharks! Oh... Sharks!"
等等，这样太凶了 我们可以说 Wait, that's too hard. We'll be like,
〝我是黛安，这是我的伙伴艾莉森〞 "I'm Diane. This is my associate, Allison.
〝而这是我的…随便啦〞 "And this is our... whatever!" You know...
妳这个软弱的废物 You weak piece of fucking shit.
妳撑不了两天 You couldn't make it go two days.
我他妈的讨厌妳 I fucking hate you.
恨死妳了 I hate you so much.
艾莉，妳还记得四年级的时候 Allie, do you remember when you were in fourth grade,
做的那个巨大粒线体吗？ you made that giant mitochondria?
我保证那一定能热卖 That's something that would sell, I promise you.
我们可以说：〝嘿，鲨鱼们〞 We could be like, "Hey, Sharks!"
〝我们带来了一样东西 混凝纸模型〞 We got them for you! Papier-mache!"
就像那些… You know, like all the...
我就知道妳会喜欢这个点子 I knew you would like that idea! I knew it!
太棒了 Yes!
妳站错边了 You're on the wrong side.
什么？我才没有 What? No, I'm not.
（前往纽约的列车）
-那不幸好妳来了 Well, good thing you came!
-天啊 Oh, my God!
快过来 Get over here.
开趴啦 Whoo! Party!
（妈妈：妳在哪里？）
-哈啰，黛安 -嘿 - Hello, Diane! - Oh, hey!
我不知道 I don't know
艾莉森跟妳说了多少 how much Allison has told you.
我们一直参加同一场聚会 But we've been going to the same program.
有，她有告诉我 Oh, yeah, she said. She told me, yeah.
我的外孙女 芮恩 My granddaughter, Ryan,
对艾莉森很有兴趣 has taken an interest in Allison and,
我现在找不到她 well, now I can't find her.
所以我想说过来看看她有没有在这里 So I just thought I'd drop by and see if she might be here.
我传了简讯给她们 但是都变成绿色的 I tried texting them,but, you know, they all go green.
-妳知道那是什么意思吗？ Do you know what that means?
-我不知道 I have no idea.
我也很讨厌这样 I hate when that happens, when they go...
绿色的就不知道 It's all green
讯息有没有传出去 超奇怪的 and you don't know if it's sent. It's so weird.
-对 -会把我逼疯 Right. Right. Right. - Drives me crazy.
等你搞清楚，务必要告诉我 You'll have to let me know if you figure that out.
我跟科技产品不熟 I'm not tech-y.
但是我今晚其实也在找艾莉森 But I actually tonight was trying to find Allison myself.
你觉得她们有可能在一起吗？ But do you really think they're together tonight?
两个人一起不见 Both missing at the same time. It...
的确是满可疑的 seems a little curious.
看来不论她们年纪多大 Seems like no matter how old they get,
都免不了让人担心 -对 - you never stop worrying. - Yeah.
-但她们总是会回来 But they always seem to turn up.
不是每次都会 Not always.
也是 Yeah.
找到她们的话跟我说一声好吗？ Well, can you let me know if you find them?
-我会的 -太好了 - I will. - Great.
谢谢你 Thank you.
什么？ What's that?
我只是… Oh, I was just... I...
我只是想谢谢你 I was just saying thank you so much
对艾莉森这么好 for being so kind to Allison.
她说你对她总是很好 She said you've always been so warm to her and you know,
我只想跟你说声谢谢 I... just wanted to say thanks, 'cause, you know,
因为不是每个人都会这样 like, some people wouldn't be like that, so...
我想我们都只是想往前走吧 Well, we're all just trying to move on, I suppose.
对 Yeah.
我和艾莉进行得 I don't think Allie and I are doing
不是很顺利，丹尼尔 a very good job of that, Daniel.
-妳知道那句话是怎么说的 -哪句话？ You know what they say.What?
〝比较只会让人不快乐〞 "Comparison is the thief of joy."
我不知道有这句话 Oh. I didn't know they said that.
这个嘛 Well...
有人这么说过 somebody did.
是啊 Yeah.
我先走了 Well, I best be going then.
好，当然 Oh, yeah, of course.
-晚安 -晚安 Night. - Good night.
♪ Stare into space ♪
♪ Out in the blue ♪
天啊，他在那里 Oh, my God, there he is!
妳看，他是不是很帅？ Look at him! Isn't he so hot?
他的脸上是刺青吗？ Is that a face tattoo?
-对 -天啊 - Yeah! - Oh, my God!
我好爱这首歌 I love this song!
昆恩给我的歌单里有这首 Quinn sent it to me in a playlist.
他很懂音乐 He, like, knows so much about music.
谢谢妳 Thank you.
要我一起来 For getting me to come.
不客气 Yeah.
♪ You're the only thing ♪
那是吉他手汤玛斯 That's the guitarist, Thomas.
他在盯着妳看 别说了，我没事 He's staring right at you!
-我知道，妳可以选择更好的人 Oh, stop. No, I'm okay. I'm fine.
-什么？才没有 I know, you can do so much better.
但是他真的好性感 What? No. - But he is fucking hot.
我要去接人进来，但是我马上回来 Uh... Okay, I, um... I gotta go get someone in.
But I'll be right back.
-要我跟妳一起去吗？ -不用 - Should I come with you? - No.
-妳确定？ -对，我马上回来 - Are you sure? - No, I'll be right back. Yeah.
♪ Take a photo ♪
♪ Make it real ♪
♪ You're the stardust ♪
♪ Stardust ♪
♪ Lighting the fields ♪
♪ Caught in a state ♪
♪ Watching it fall ♪
♪ Aquarius bloom ♪
♪ Just bought a car ♪
惊喜吧 Surprise!
奈森？ Nathan?
-嗨 -嗨 - Hi! Hi!
芮恩？ Ryan?
-怎么了？ -妳好 - What? - Hi!
抱歉 Uh, sorry.
艾莉，这是我女友乔儿 Allie, uh, this is my girlfriend, Joelle.
嗨，抱歉 Hi. I'm sorry. Um...
很高兴认识妳 Nice to meet you.
我听说过很多妳的事 I've heard so much about you.
好 Okay.
我们会在这里 I think we're the victims
都是出自这位青少女的一片好心 of a teenage girl's good intentions.
-什么？ -我说… What? - I said...
我觉得芮恩是一片好意 I said I think she meant well. Ryan.
我要走了 I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.
-妳没事吧？ -我没事，我要走了 Are you good? - I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm gonna go.
艾莉 Allie!
芮恩，妳为什么要这么做？ Ryan. What the fuck did you just do that for?
我没别的意思，但是妳不该来的 No offense, but you weren't supposed to come.
我知道法律助理是个好工作 I know being a paralegal is a good job,
但是他应该跟艾莉在一起 but he's supposed to be with Allie.
-对不起 -芮恩？ - I'm sorry. Ryan?
妳刚刚做了什么好事？ What the fuck did you just do?
我要为妈妈修补好一切 I'm fixing it.For Mom.
去找她，然后我送妳回家 Go find her and then I'm taking you home.
真的很对不起 I am so sorry.
真的，这实在是… Serious... This...
-没关系 -真的吗？ - It's fine. It's okay. - Yeah?
-对 -妳没事吧？ - Yeah. Yeah. - You good?
-我没事，我需要喝一杯 I'm fine. I need a drink.
但我没事 -对 - But I'm fine. - Yes.
妈的 Oh, fuck!
你们太棒了 You guys have been great,
谢谢 - thank you so much!
艾莉 Allie!
妳为什么要这么做？ Why the fuck did you just do that?
我以为这样能让妳开心 I thought it was gonna make you happy.
妳以为这样能让我开心？ You thought that would make me happy?
-对 -妳疯了吗？ Yeah! - Are you insane?
可以给我…抱歉 Hi! Can I please get, um... Hey, I'm sorry.
可以给我一杯龙舌兰吗？ Could I just get a glass of tequila, please?
妈的，我没办法呼吸 Fuck, I can't breathe.
-冷静点，好吗？对不起 - Ryan, I can't fucking breathe! - Calm down.
-芮恩，我没办法呼吸 Calm down, okay? I'm sorry.
妳根本就是故意的 You fucking did that on purpose!
妳这么做只是想伤害我，对吧？ You did that to hurt me, right?
妳就是想这样，对吧？ Is that what you did? Yeah, you did.
-妳就承认吧，妳明明就有 -我才没有 - Just admit it. Yes, you did! - No, I didn't!
-妳是故意的 -我不是 - You did that on fucking purpose! - No, I didn't!
你超棒的，宝贝 You killed, baby! You killed!
刚刚真是太精采了 嗨 - That was incredible, man! Hi! Hi!
我是昆恩的朋友，芮恩 I'm Quinn's friend, Ryan.
你们唱得好好听 You guys sounded so good!
你们一定会红 You're gonna be so famous!
我知道，我得好好享受 无名小卒的日子 I know. I really have to savor my anonymity.
我们要去威廉斯堡参加派对 Hey, we're gonna go to this party over in Williamsburg.
妳们想去吗？ You guys wanna come?
靠，随便都好，走吧 Fuck, yeah, whatever. Let's go!
我得离开 I need to get outta here.
妳有空吗？ Do you have the time?
有 - Yeah.
嘿，丹尼，都还好吗？ Hey, Danny. Everything okay?
我找不到芮恩，我什么方法都试过了 I can't find Ryan. I've tried everything.
总之，我不禁在想 Anyway, my mind can't help but wonder if...
妳有没有见到艾莉森 Well, if you've seen Allison or not.
有，但是你要的话 我可以传讯息给她 Uh, no, I haven't, but I can text her if you want.
我传了讯息给她们两个 Well, I've tried texting both of them,
但是没有人回 but neither one is answering.
-怎么了？ What's wrong?
-丹尼尔找不到外孙女 Daniel can't find his granddaughter.
如果电话是他买的 他可以登入 Um, well, if he pays for the phone, he can just log
帐号寻找手机 into the account, and use Find My Phone.
对，丹尼尔，你知道 〝寻找我的手机〞这个功能吗？ Yeah. Daniel, do you know what Find My Phone is?
不知道，那是什么鬼东西？ No, what the hell is that?
这太棒了 This is amazing!Whoa!
（妈妈：妳在哪里？）
（希蒙：丹尼尔在找芮恩 妳知道她在哪里吗？）
（丹尼尔：妳跟芮恩在一起吗？）
妈的 Fuck!
（妈妈：拜托打给我或传讯息给我 希蒙：为什么不回我讯息？）
艾莉，这位是贾维斯 他有妳要的东西 Allie, this is Jarvis. He has the stuff you asked for.
嘿 Hey!
我没有疼始康定，只有海洛因 I don't have any thirties, just dope.
好，你有什么都给我 Uh, yeah, okay. Yeah, whatever you have.
可以借我钱吗？ Can you spot me?
-我保证会还你 -好 - I'll pay you back, I promise. - Uh, okay, all right.
谢谢 Thanks.
看起来快成功了 It's coming. Look like!
有，出现了 Yeah, here it is.
好，上面写什么？ Okay, what does it say?
（芮恩的手机，不到一分钟前）
整个房间都在旋转 - The whole room is spinning.
是我的手机 Oh, that's my phone.
别管了 Don't worry about it.
我们可以暂停一下吗？ Can we just stop for a second?
我的手机呢？ Where is my phone?
我快吐了 I think I'm gonna throw up.
（〝寻找我的手机〞警示）
搞什么？ What the fuck!
她在市区 She's in the fucking city!
她在该死的威廉斯堡 She's in fucking Williamsburg!
好，丹尼尔，等等，我去接你 Okay, Daniel, wait. I'm gonna come pick you up.
我不想要你做出会后悔的事 I don't want you to do something you're gonna regret.
我要杀了那个王八蛋 I'm gonna kill that motherfucker.
对，我就是担心这点，我马上过去 Yeah, that's exactly what I'm worried about. I'm on my way.
好，慢慢来 - Okay. Easy does it.
-妳醉了 -我没有 - You're wasted. - No, I'm not.
芮恩？ Ryan?
芮恩，妳在里面吗？ - Ryan, are you in there?
她没事，走开 She's fine. Go the fuck away!
芮恩？ Ryan?
麻烦开门好吗？ Can you just open the door, please?
芮恩？ Ryan.
走开 Go away!
艾莉森，芮恩在哪里？ Allison? Where's Ryan?
你在做什么？ What're you doing here?
芮恩在哪里？ Where the fuck is Ryan?
她在里头，我想叫她，但是她没回应 She's in here. I'm trying to... She won't answer.
芮恩 - Ryan!
芮恩？ Ryan?
是外公，开门 It's your grandpa, open the door.
开门，宝贝 Open the door, baby.
滚开 Fuck off!
-搞什么？ -芮恩 - What the fuck! Ryan!
又是你，给我起来 You again! Get the fuck up!
-丹尼，不要 -我的天啊 - Danny, no, no, no. - Oh, my God!
-别开枪 -什么事都没发生 - Don't do that! - Nothing happened.
告诉我为什么我不该杀了你，王八蛋 Tell me why I shouldn't kill you, motherfucker?
我们只是在亲热 We were just making out.
你伤害我的宝贝 You hurt my baby.
现在我要伤害你 - Now, I'm gonna hurt you.
-不要 -丹尼 - No, no, no, no, no. Danny!
爸爸，不要 Dad! No!
你在这里做什么？这是家务事 The hell you're doing here? This is family business.
别这么做 Don't do this.
回去过你的新生活，奈森 Go on back to your new life, Nate.
拜托把枪放下 Put the gun down, please.
拜托 Please, please!
-他不值得 He's not worth it.
-我没什么牵挂了 I got nothing left to lose.
你有我 You got me!
还有芮恩 You got Ryan!
我们需要你 We need you!
只要你开枪，一切就完蛋了 You do this, it's over!
我们没有时间了 We get no more time.
丹尼，把枪放下 Danny, put the gun down.
拜托 Please.
我的… Oh, my...
那是我的外甥女 That's my niece.
她才16岁 She's 16 years old.
天啊，好了，我们得离开 Oh, my God! All right, we gotta get out of here.
-芮恩，宝贝 Hey, Ryan, baby?
醒醒 -我的鼻子 - Please get up. - My fucking nose!
-给我过来 -我的鼻子 Get over here! My fucking nose!
妳是怎么搞的？ The fuck is the matter with you?
我是想保护她 I was trying to protect her!
-保护她？ -对 Protect her? - Yeah!
我明明叫妳不要接近她 I told you to stay away from her!
妳凭什么 Who the fuck are you
跟我说要保护人？ to be talking about protecting somebody?
-妳根本乱七八糟的 -爸爸 - You're a mess. - Dad!
我只是想帮忙 I was... I was trying to help.
我想要… I was... I was trying to...
-我想要做对的事 I was trying to make it right.
-我告诉妳 Let me tell you something.
妳永远都无法 You will never ever
弥补妳对我做的事 be able to fix the things you've done to me.
听见了吗？ You hear me?
我要恢复我的生活 I want my life back.
我要我的孩子回来 I want my child back.
我的宝贝，我的… My baby, my...
茉莉 Molly.
妳夺走了我的宝贝 You took my baby away from me!
爸，够了 Dad! Enough.
不，没关系 Nah, it's okay.
说啊 Say it.
妈的，我很想恨妳 Shit, I wanted to hate you.
但是我阻止自己 But I stopped myself.
当妳走进那场聚会时 And when you walked into that meeting, I thought...
我心想，这是上帝在考验我 This is God testing me.
这证明了这间教会中 This is proof of a higher power
有更高的力量在考验我 testing me in this church.
看看祂是否会让我崩溃 Trying to see if he could break me.
但是我会证明给祂看 But I'll show him.
我不会崩溃 I'm unbreakable.
我会对伸出手 I will offer my hand
帮助这个悲哀 to this sorry
该死的毒虫 little fucking pill-junkie.
我只求妳远离这个孩子 All I asked you to do was stay away from this child.
现在妳看看她 Now look at her.
她没有母亲 She got no mother.
没有父亲 No father.
我还剩下几年？ And how many years can I have left?
妳真是他妈的废物 What a fucking waste you are.
-爸爸 Dad!
-白白浪费了一条灵魂 What a fucking waste of a soul.
一个机会 Of a chance.
丹尼，你把该说的都说了 Danny, enough. You've said your piece.
原本不该是这样的 This isn't how it was supposed to be.
我是个好人 I'm a good person.
我从来没有说过上帝一定要公平 I never said God has to be fair.
我只是没想到 I just never thought
祂竟然会如此残忍 he could be this cruel.
计程车 Taxi!
-等等，丹尼，我送你回家 -不了 Hold on, Danny, let me take you home. No.
我和他去，芮恩 I'll go with him. Hey! Hey, Ryan!
来，醒醒，我们送妳回家 Come on, wake up. We're taking you home.
你喝了酒 You drank!
妳在17点36分22秒打开地图 You turned your map app back on at 17:36:22.
撞击时间是17点36分24秒 Impact was at 17:36:24.
轮胎痕显示，妳开了十公尺才转弯 Skid marks show you lost 30 feet before you swerved.
妳根本没时间煞车 You didn't have time to stop
因为妳在看妳该死的手机，艾莉森 because you were looking at your fucking phone, Allison.
别再怪罪阿瓦瑞兹了 Stop blaming Alvarez.
他们是被妳害死的 They're dead because of you.
好了，好了 All right. All right. It's all right.
好了，过来 Come here. Come here.
没事了，好了 It's all right. Okay.
不，那不能放在那里 No, that can't go over there.
不能放… That can't...
不能放… That can't... That can't go...
早安 Good morning.
我做了一栋房子 I made a house.
妳头会痛吗？ Do you have a headache?
会 Yeah.
我可以卖掉这个吗？ Hey.Can I, uh, sell this, please?
我给妳一万两千五吧 I'll give you $12,500.
好，谢谢 Yeah. Yeah, okay. Thank you.
这是只好表 It is a beauty.
♪ I woke up today ♪
♪ At least that much is true ♪
♪ I saw what people see ♪
♪ What a year this made of me ♪
♪ I tried a hundred times ♪
♪ But each time I thought of you ♪
谢谢 Thank you.
♪ I hate myself ♪
♪ I fuckin' hate myself ♪
♪ And I ♪
♪ I want days of pain ♪
♪ Oh, to feel ♪
♪ The things I need ♪
♪ To pay off this shame ♪
♪ And I know that makes me broken ♪
♪ I know that makes me weak ♪
♪ I guess I'll put my armor back on now ♪
♪ I found a way ♪
♪ But I turned around ♪
♪ One step to start ♪
♪ But I'd rather fall down ♪
♪ Too much of a coward ♪
♪ To just say I'm wrong ♪
外公，你不会相信的 Grandpa, you are not gonna believe this.
队上有个女孩 One of the girls on the team
周末邀我去参加派对 invited me to a party this weekend.
妳吗？ You?
对，就是我 - Yes, me!
♪ Help me, please ♪
♪ Try to fix yourself ♪
♪ That's all they said to me ♪
♪ Try to fix myself ♪
♪ To know how hard that would be ♪
嗨 Hi.
谢谢你过来 Thank you so much for coming.
没事 Sure.
妳气色很好 - You look great.
我原本要化妆，结果我对着自己发笑 I nearly put makeup on,and then I just laughed at myself.
你喜欢我的发夹吗？ Do you like my clips?
喜欢 Wow, yeah.
我从药局偷 I stole them from a pharmacy.
不是最近 - Not recently.
是很久以前了 - Like, a while back.
我不知道该从哪里说起 I don't know where to start.
没关系 That's okay.
我先说吧 Um, I'll start.
奈特，我当时… Nate, I didn't have...
完全不知道 the faintest idea
要怎么处理我自己的伤痛 how to handle my own grief.
我甚至不知道自己可以难过 I didn't even know if I was allowed to grieve.
我们都很痛苦 We were all flailing.
对，但是我抛下了你 Yeah, but I abandoned you,
我真的很自私 and that was so selfish.
我尽可能地远离你 I ran as fast as I could away from you.
我当时还想要妳回到我的生命中 I still wanted you to be my wife.
我知道 I know.
但事实上，奈森，我… But the truth is, Nate, I...
我原本很确定 I was so sure
我会… I was gonna...
努力 我知道 - try... - I know.
你知道我真的努力过 And you know I tried.
我努力过，但是我办不到 I tried, but I couldn't.
因为我不想再次伤害你 'Cause I didn't wanna hurt you again.
那不是妳的错 It wasn't your fault.
就是我的错 It was.
妳爸说得没错 Your dad was right.
要不是因为看手机 我原本来得及停车的 If I hadn't been looking at my phone,I could have stopped in time.
我早就该向你道歉了，真的对不起 You deserve an apology that never came, and I'm so sorry.
真的很对不起 I'm really sorry.
我最近常陪他 I've been spending some time with him lately.
好的 Yeah.
还在努力中 - Oh, it's a work-in-progress.
很好 Good.
他让我得以活着 He kept me alive, you know.
我知道你耳朵的事了 I know about your ear.
嘿 我需要你知道一件事 Hey... I need you to be clear on one thing.
我当时真的很爱你 I loved you so much.
还有其他的一切 And along with everything else,
我永远都会哀悼 我们原本可能拥有的人生 I will forever grieve for the life that we might have had.
我也是 Me too.
当时的我们是个好团队 - We were a good team.
如果哪一天 It would be nice
我们找到办法出现在彼此的生命中 if we could one day find some way
那就太好了 to be in each other's lives.
也许这样太不切实际了，但是… Maybe that's unrealistic, - but...
也许吧 - Maybe.
对 Yeah.
也许吧 Maybe.
我们都要谢谢伊莲 I think we can all thank Elaine.
太感谢妳了 Thank you so much.
我很感激能够认识你们 I really appreciated getting to know you,
和你们聊天 and talking to you.
各位，我们昨天那些见不得人的故事 Everybody, our deeply inappropriate stories from yesterday...
都深深烙印在我的脑海中了 金恩在笑 ...have been well in my head. King's laughing.
你的故事太可怕了 Your stories are foul.
妈妈，我非常感谢妳 Mama, I'm so grateful for you.
谢谢妳为我做的一切 Thank you for everything you've done for me.
我爱妳 And I love you.
食物好难吃，谢谢你 The food was terrible. Thank you.
♪ I can't shake you off, dear ♪
♪ It's something I have tried to do ♪
♪ But I can't shake you off, dear ♪
♪ Sit on trains and think of you ♪
♪ But I...♪
♪ Oh, I can't tell ♪
♪ If it hurts or it helps ♪
♪ So breathe me in ♪
♪ One last time ♪
♪ And we play ♪
♪ Our rehearsed ♪
♪ Goodbyes ♪
♪ I can't shake you off, dear ♪
♪ It's something I have tried to do ♪
♪ But I can't shake you off, dear ♪
♪ I sit on trains and think of you ♪
♪ But you are the best part ♪
♪ You ♪
谢谢 Thank you.
我最近录了我的第一张迷你专辑 Um, I recently recorded my first EP,
就放在外套寄放处 and it's at the coat check
因为我也负责帮大家寄放外套 because I'm also the coat check girl.
所以快点来买 Uh, so come buy a CD,
否则你们就拿不回外套了 or I won't give you your coats back.
（奈森）
嗨 Hi.
我知道你打来恭喜我戒瘾一年 I know you're calling about my one-year clean,
但是我得告诉你我刚刚做了什么 but I need to tell you what I just did.
好，不，我有空 Yeah. No, I can talk.
好 Okay.
嘿，杜恩，可以帮我拿去厨房吗？ Hey, Dwayne.Could you take these to the kitchen for me?
谢谢你 Thank you so much.
她会还的，对不对，芮恩？ She'll give it back. Right, Ryan?
-好好吃 -谢谢 - That's nice. Thank you.
你好吗？等等，我有杯子蛋糕 Hey. How's it going? Ooh, wait, I have cupcakes.
-需要帮忙吗？ -不用，我可以，谢谢 - Need any help? - No, no, no. I'm all good. Thank you.
-其实我们几个月前 Actually, we broke up
分手了 -是 - a few months ago. - Yeah...
妈妈 -什么事？ Hey, Mama. - Yes?
-可以麻烦妳拿出去发吗？ Could you go pass these around over there?
他们应该想吃 I think they would like some.
-没问题 -谢谢 - Sure. - Thank you.
-好香 -很好吃 - Ooh, they smell so good. - They are good.
（艾莉森）
亲爱的艾莉森 Dear Allison.
在这个缩小87倍的世界里 Down here in 1:87 scale,
爱人永远都会亲吻 the lovers always kiss,
邻居永远很亲切 the neighbors are always kind,
而火车总是能带着妳 前往 and the trains always take you to the far-off places
妳曾发誓一定会去的 you always swore you'd go.
遥远地方 当然 In life, of course,
现实人生才不可能如此顺遂 nothing is nearly as neat and tidy.
我把所有的一切都留给奈森和芮恩 Everything I own has been left to Nathan and Ryan.
奈森同意搬回家 Nathan has agreed to move home
担任芮恩的监护人，直到她上大学 and be her guardian until she's off to college.
他会需要帮忙的 He'll need help.
请妳帮助他，艾莉 Please help him, Allie.
茉莉总是说，奈森跟妳在一起的时候 Molly always said Nathan was the best version of himself
他的状态最好 when he was with you.
谁知道 Who knows,
也许妳可以帮助芮恩进入史丹佛 maybe you can even get her into Stanford.
我们第一次在餐馆用餐时 When we first met in that diner,
妳曾问过我的刺青是什么意思 you asked what my tattoo meant.
那是拉丁文 - Amor fati is Latin.
意思是〝钟爱自己的命运〞 It means "to love one's fate."
命运不是我们自己选，艾莉 Neither of us chose this fate, Allie.
但也许我们可以找到办法钟爱它 But perhaps we can find a way to love it.
命运让我最后一年得以有儿子相伴 Fate has given me one final year with my son.
他现在看我的眼神不一样了 He looks at me differently these days.
我偶尔甚至能看到他露出微笑 Once in a while I even catch him smiling at me
带着一副看似关爱的表情 with a look that might just even be love.
钟爱自己的命运，艾莉森 Amor fati, Allison.
直到我们再次见面 Until we meet again,
丹尼尔 Daniel.
-艾莉？ Allie?
-什么事？ Yeah?
妳在做什么？ What are you doing?
-上楼吧 -好 Come on upstairs.Yeah, okay.
♪ Down in the valley the first of May ♪
♪ Gatherin' flowers both fresh and gay ♪
♪ Gatherin' flowers both red and blue ♪
♪ How little thought of what... ♪
♪ ...what love could you do ♪
♪ Don't you ♪
♪ Break my heart ♪
♪ Don't you ♪
♪ Break my heart ♪
♪ I put my hand in into the bush ♪
♪ Finding the sweetest sweetest rose ♪
♪ I pricked my finger deep to the line ♪
♪ And left the sweetest rose ♪
♪ Sweetest rose behind ♪
♪ Don't you ♪
♪ Break my heart ♪
♪ Don't you ♪
♪ Break my heart ♪
♪ Don't you ♪
♪ Break my heart ♪
♪ Don't you ♪
♪ Break my heart ♪
♪ Thousands and thousands all on this Earth ♪
♪ Honey you've been on my mind ♪
♪ Like Christmas and birthdays when I was five ♪
♪ Like the ticking clock for racers ♪
♪ And those in the prison line ♪
♪ Like Everest for Mallory and how drinkers know their wine ♪
♪ And the birds and the bees when you hit nine ♪
♪ And pearls for those girls
♪ Who always have their hair in pretty curls ♪
♪ You're on my mind ♪
♪ Honey you've been in my head ♪
♪ Like homework on Sunday when I've been laughing instead ♪
♪ Like cigarettes for the cool kids behind the garden shed ♪
♪ And love for the lovers and the elephant by my bed ♪
♪ And pearls for those girls ♪
♪ Who always have their hair in pretty curls ♪
♪ And football for English boys ♪
♪ Who always have the newest toys ♪
♪ You're on my mind ♪
♪ So don't you go away too long ♪
♪ Oh don't you go away too long ♪
♪ Oh don't you go ♪
♪ Away too long ♪
♪ You're on my mind ♪