[Music]
you
[Music]
hi guys I'll be right back
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
be right with you lady
[Music]
thanks Barry thanks for helping me out
again
that's alright Chuck
that's a sidekick sure for but wherever
I am whatever I'm doing all you got to
do is ask Chuck sure thing Chucky boooo
pal any old time old buddy yeah
very very you geek what is good why
don't you please move oh all right class
settle down that's enough
I was happen Barry yeah you don't have
to fight it you want me to wait after
you know I can I know no not tonight
more my dad's coming by Lauren hi
where were you this time ah Japan I
think ah you were supposed to be in my
history class yeah I know I don't know
why it happens Barry you've got to
understand there's a time and a place
for dreams it's not in a classroom yeah
and your dad comes to pick you up he and
I need to have a talk again I've had
talks with him about the daydreams he's
it just never been a physical kid and
there's nothing wrong with that
Einstein Gandhi Gershwin there's nothing
wrong with these people my son has
asthma he's made up his world where he
can be the star athlete the quarterback
he can be Chuck Norris yeah
yeah he says their sidekicks that they
they he do things together have you ever
tried what being his sidekick
I don't think I have a chance against
Chuck I put in a lot of hours at work
berries alone too much with his videos
his karate games we all put in extra
hours mr. Koo brewski that's not what I
asked you
am i close with my son yeah we went
through some hard times and that should
have brought us closer but you have to
help him change his priorities maybe
yours too
[Music]
berry-berry come on get a grip huh
what's the matter with you oh no space
case come on let's go please let's go
kay bye Barry see you tomorrow yes thank
you thank you John did you forget
something
Oh
let's go see this master stone I sign
you up for karate
Wow now about the table come on come on
Joe
crack it Hey I'm just gonna tell another
excuse me pardon me excuse me whoa snap
at the top nothing hey you me yeah you
we don't wear shoes on the mat here
mister
sorry they're double knots socks - it's
like present case wait hey hey don't
touch that whistle you want to learn
karate huh yeah yeah yeah
you mean it yes sir don't you son
oh yeah yeah yes sir now your father
here tells me all you think about is
this right this craft that has taken me
here years to master could you ease a
little quieter get up trying to talk to
you
excuse me mr. stone my son has a
condition oh yeah you must be pretty
good too MA
when all this stuff well I don't like to
brag or anything yeah I bet almost as
good as I Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris Chuck Norris he doesn't
compete anymore kid and one of the
reasons one of the main reasons he
doesn't is me okay that's sir yeah he
doesn't compete because I would kick his
ass yeah kick his ass got you the first
time this isn't all the rules you know
kid that's the first smart thing you've
said all day this isn't all there is
it's just the best there is
you know karate is a sport of discipline
and restraint and style one that builds
respect you believe in the Easter Bunny
too kid shut the door
[Music]
greenest gunpowder well now I keep you
lesson
I owe you
[Music]
for bid yeah you refresh you were
already asleep were you watching that
day yeah yeah I was kind of uh dad where
did you ever become involved with
something it's late you kind of get your
eight hours what what I forget
let's chant
miss Chan well well long time no see
what's l rush Oh Sabrina you know the
last time we spoke to your uncle was
coming to town did he ever get him yes
today pls GG no late what well does he
need a job I may say so I am NOT without
influence in this town under sponsor mr.
mates he has a job is going to be
working in my family's restaurant I got
so stereotypical like working in a
laundry uh-huh believe it or not we've
done that too now if you'll excuse me
I'm late for my date April jealousy
rears its ugly green head who's the
lucky fella an employee would say to you
Jean one of my students fumble with one
of the urchins well perhaps I can be a
bit hit Darren Criss ruski oh but he's
dead he's what well he Key's slow and
impaired hopeless hopeless the kid is
hopeless he's a dreamer mr. mates and
historically dreamers have a pretty good
track record
[Music]
Barry yes and what may I ask was all
that about why I was working out a
charley horse
yeah I was I just working it out huh
talk about it later now there's someone
I want you and your dad to me she likes
you
maybe he'll be the one to teach you
martial arts nobody likes me why would
he
well I don't know maybe because he's a
little bit like you okay I help you you
can help everybody in this place tell
that cheat that doubt that cigar this is
a public area he's not supposed to be
smoking that in here yes of course
you're right since we're all so similar
would you mind telling me which
particular drink you're referring to the
keys are in front of you Charlie
excuse me sign says no what you nagamma
come on come on
you don't know oh don't you ban em off
Oh gotiya don't you good
where where is it by the way my name is
not charlie Oh smoke smoking smoking
that's okay smoking you'll see it's just
that's how we teach children to use
chopsticks
all right see if they have points on you
can just stab it it's not happening I
want to impress your uncle did you
notice my uncle stopped using his
halfway through the meal he did haha he
really likes you
it's very impressed with your work with
computers are you almost finished with
your program how did you know your son
it told me a lot about you he hasn't
told me much about you what about you
well my father built this restaurant
he came here first eight years later he
sent for my mother
hmm so you grew up around here yes they
worked here together then my father died
my mother round the place herself for a
while but then two years ago he sent for
her again
now it's all I have left of them and
your uncle dear uncle poet and a charmer
teacher and philosopher that is the
ninth time yeah I'm sorry I wasn't ready
that is the entire point of this
exercise you must always be ready and
you you want to be martial artist and
what would be a fighting name very the
leopard no not quite right ah
bury the title fights with courage and
rely on instinct no that won't do hmm I
have it I've got it what what is it next
turn dumpling mr. dumpling who fights
the most deceptive manner by smashing
the fists of his opponents with his own
fate ah mr. Lee huh the dumplings never
attacks because he does not survive to
attack because he is never ready okay I
get the point right then it's very
simple I will help you learn what you
want to know but once you stop wanting
to learn I will stop teaching well mr.
Lee I don't want to stop learning burn
never interrupt your teacher this for
example is a thief
you cannot compromise with a thief
unless you wish to give something of
yourself away does that appear confusing
yes good life is very confusing
and that is your first lesson I murdered
the first guerrilla to gun
how long has she been gone she passed
away almost hitting years ago
you sure Barry's gonna be okay with your
uncle well my uncle will behave himself
if he doesn't I'll break his arm
haha warranty yes
how far is your school from your house
about five minutes not how long how far
too much and how do you get to my dad he
drops me up in the morning picks me up
in the afternoon or I get a ride from
now on you will walk to school that is
until next week then you will run we
will see if that is that feet or clutch
my customer yes there's a problem out
here
where's that little gag rub girl Betty's
and I made it funny name he grows better
a tea boy what's your name hey Sherrod
Hilary I can uncle named Annie what that
yeah only gonna let me deal with that
what are you doing
preparing really some really special for
you
we're gonna remodel this place yeah well
we like that wall over and put up it
yeah this Wow Rebecca where there's in
the kitchen are we all in the front
there's less time right here
[Laughter]
[Music]
you all right
[Music]
come on
[Music]
these gentlemen only so what I appeared
listen number two believe what is not
what you think
remember while you walk the kid moved
down the street alert constant vigilance
eternal suspicions like chocolate jungle
beware the enemy
[Music]
the kid evaded capture or worse this
time but the bad guys are still out
there somewhere
Ferris I okay uh yeah
I wanna what's wrong with your dad oh I
thought I'd uh I don't walk today
oh the chance can exercise yeah well
you'd better hurry because clusters in
ten minutes okay
Mary are you sure you don't wanna ride
oh no that's okay I want to get my heart
rate up a wire okay bye
now we've read several of the bards
important plays and these wondrous words
should stay with you from now through
the end of your mr. Jalili yeah yes is
the proper response mr. torini
okay perhaps mr. Kamini we should test
your retention skills from whence does
this quote come to thine own self be
true
Polonius mr. Mapes from Hamlet
that is correct Lauren let's try again
mr. cheeley knee shall we Allah poor
Yorick I knew him well that is from the
Bible is it a book with which I'm sure
you are thoroughly familiar
no mr. Collini it's not the Bible yes mr
kubatski what is it oh yes Hamlet be
stippled my art yes that's correct
careful mr. Cellini your competition for
class dumbbell is rapidly diminishing
now go to watch where you go increase
accidents happen you don't pay attention
let me respond if I let you up and you
might have heard me and I don't want you
to hurt me
which lucky you masters don't didn't
take you on cuz I'm in that class and
I'd be doing this to you every day oh
look at this so where's your friend
checking our retard oh by the way Lauren
doesn't like you she pity
[Applause]
[Music]
okay you're doing good right let's start
again we'd wanna come over 35 35 what 33
77389
[Applause]
41
[Music]
well well well if it isn't the two big
bad war why you have milk
[Laughter]
hey how about some cookie bartender make
my milk - sure Ranger you give me a
drink
better yet in your case cause me go
leave her alone
alright let's do it
[Music]
I can take you to the wolf just you and
me if you're wrong you're dead wrong
[Music]
why'd you bury my god this is gym class
Sonny Boy not nap time how dare you fall
asleep in my class get up boy
good sorry mr. horn I bet you are if I'm
not as sorry as you're gonna be
I've been thinking son been a while
since your last physical evaluation
where you are lady start climbing up
that rope
come on your brewski what are you a
manner more of a milquetoast
[Laughter]
keep going lady don't even think about
quittin you can do it Barry
Barry hey Barry
I'll race you to the top I I can't
choose again just wrap your leg around
the rope and hold it with your foot oh
yes you know I can't Barry I hate that
word I was talking to hey you up there
you not up again get going don't listen
to them listen to me wrap your leg
around the Rope yeah that's it hold it
with your foot okay
now all the weights in your legs relax
on clemency weights on your legs there
you go
all right now pull usually that's it
good there you go cool
[Music]
oh very great very all your theory
all the way to the top
well I'll be
[Music]
[Applause]
mr. Hornby shermeen today I think you
gotta tell your daddy daddy I know I
don't think he'd be too much help
why not my daddy rope him shoot him
stuff him and mount him what he says
what he always said Oh class cos he's a
Texan
my dad's a computer programmer from
Pittsburgh make a Maddy just punches the
keyboard harder listen mrs. Wray get out
oh um Lauren um yeah I uh you know I
really like you I like you too Barry
okay great uh well if I like you Wendy
then you like me
when are we in go out go out yeah Barry
I like you but just not like that what I
worry about you the others are so mean
it makes me feel so sorry for me no yeah
Julie was right you pity me I do not I
don't I get it okay
Barry please
[Music]
I will be you
[Laughter]
[Music]
I'm going to show you how easy it could
be all you have to do is tell me what I
want to know Oh tell you anything
hang on as long as you can't bury you
can do it just hang on anyway kid what
trap I'm like a bagpipe and you're due
any day
not very we'll get out of this
[Music]
come on Mary she's been getting his
allergy shots in a regular basis yes
have you been under any ordinary stress
lately at home I don't think so he
walked to school feeling fine this
morning seem to be okay he's gonna be
all right
she'll be fine and it's probably not a
bad idea he does these things you know
basically his lungs are okay I looked at
the x-rays just very little scarring if
any - I'm surprised - just attack what
was a humidity valve in your story
oh thanks for coming where is Barry
leave is he all right
uh yes what's the median 215 legend the
doctor said his x-rays are looking good
open Noreen this is dr. Maillard miss
Chen is one of Barry's teachers
mr. Lee yes I have something for you
I will take it all only for a few
minutes this will help you
[Music]
awful yes that's how I know when it's
ready it is an old remedy with some of
my secret ingredients breathe in the
fumes feebly good all right starboard
resident you must breathe the heat will
not burn you people help
you were perhaps overzealous you tried
to reach too far too fast we will try
again but slower
but now I believe you want to learn good
night mr. dumpling let's start with a
few simple move your block I block high
kick
I block fun
inhale for very the object is not to
hurt somebody else it is to stop them
from hurting you must respect the wood
it lives on its own it has its own
spirit
[Music]
Sorry Sorry
yeah
[Music]
all right I don't know yeah that's one
more easy ha ha how do you feel
oh never felt better oh you lie as well
as you run drink that well what's this
be quiet
disrespectful boy you deaf I couldn't it
say you took me for six books and gin
rummy I'm watching you like a hawk
that will help with a breathing now
drink
oh gosh ho ho is why you think magic
should win taste test then nobody drink
Pepsi Cola Pepsi something to worry
about you go on now you give me a
headache and besides you have no more
money to win yeah take this four times a
day
why it's on Sunday okay thank you bye
mr. Chan don't play cards with this guy
okay oh I already learned that say hi do
you dad for me alright magic potion
what's in this don't worry you won't
killing imagine my relief
what the hell is that smell
Oh
must be a sewage backup around here
don't be late for school
[Music]
your brewski what are you doing here get
your butt up there on the benches with
the rest of the babies okay mr. horn um
I'm gonna take the class today like hell
you will boy you want to put in the
hospital again my tailor left in the
ringer for sure yeah but I yeah nobody
except yours barked up there now get
moving yeah very wary before you get
hurt fortunately I don't remember asking
for your opinion 20 left
all right now it's cited me by the
friend mr. push
[Music]
a brewski what are you doing I told you
to get up there to the rest of baby
haven't got all day we got work to do
and I can do it
look I'll sign a release or something
okay you'll do that boy okay everybody
gets to push up alright let us go a 541
the booty you drop dead on me and I
swear to god I'll shoot myself and come
on after you see Barry I have something
for you you will work with these an hour
each day if you make a mistake they will
sting you but I will help you make them
see
so deadly it is true they are weapons
but you must realize that the greatest
weapon you ever possess is self-control
Oh
[Music]
at using your head very
[Music]
it's beautiful it's good it's like a
ballet takes a long time to learn much
discipline come Barry time to run
working hard wear it you later I wish I
could do what you do sure you can thank
you
come on what no no no no no what get
together
oh come on myself it I can't you move so
graceful it's more important to be
graceful here
[Music]
as up and out of 12 not bad miserably
mm-hmm do you ever dream oh yes I'm not
not done just a night
oh you mean dreaming when you awake
I mean um it's kind of like an awesome
place or having an adventure with with
him yeah dreams are good even when
you're walking down a hallway or sitting
in a classroom I like him and all that
but I mean is it normal for that to
happen you must learn to control them
when you learn to control them you will
have fewer dreams but they will be with
you is that the way it's supposed to be
the dream world is where their child
lives growing older would not mean
growing wiser if that world did not
exist how did you learn so much
television
you
okay always expect the unexpected taking
much auto oh I'm ready
we then breathe out breathe in breathe
out enough for now enough for now knock
back how we won
[Applause]
very weary I can't breathe
up yours chilling fishery bear we always
seem to meet this way by the way would
you say to me I said it's not gonna be
so easy this time
[Music]
we said your best just knock it off
Shalini okay put here now
[Music]
to learn karate on your back to traverse
nothing for free
[Applause]
yeah Gary
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
Oh
[Applause]
to
[Applause]
why his father is gone here Kamini you
nuts you could kill him he missed when
he started it that's true kid you got
less brains and a woodpecker on an
aluminum telephone pole now you to break
it up and hit the showers
all right show's over
when you kids break it up not over by a
long shot
not bad kid not bad at all I can't
believe that was you yeah well you're
not the only one
you're creeping a bully yeah he's just
an all-around kind of guy Mary what are
you doing takin um I'm going to sue can
I come with you yeah yeah sure I'd like
that
great
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
Marquess razor blades in this bubble gum
ice in the pinata where's that girl
right what is the problem she won't
touch that you're smart well you know
what to do I'll take the front
and you take the back you know that you
aim is always all hell breaks loose what
about him
ooh bad come on get going let's get
going now
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
wasn't that fight
[Music]
well our hero Wow
a hero clone destroy them
[Music]
you wouldn't get
[Music]
[Applause]
get me down from here help me stop spike
but where it might never just hang
around up here till they leave they'll
just hang around up here maybe not
[Applause]
[Music]
we are you Barry
what's going on where's no reason
hey it's my dream my hair
[Music]
hi there tough guy you want a real shot
of me
where's your chance if you're not too
chicken karate tournament that's right
sugar contest fair that'll be the day
Lauren I used to think you were smart I
mean I know why you hang around this
bozo and you could have someone like me
don't make me elf
all right towards like here the English
Romantic poet Shelley we have decided we
will join you in this team competition
she feels happy what I'm not natural
reaction natural doubt
I'm not ready true yeah look at the
tortoise very tortoise is very clumsy
and not musical at all but it has been
said and I believe it when all things
are right when a dream becomes truth
when the impossible is accomplished and
lies behind you on that day the turtles
will dance
tortoises cork pops ah you only think
they can if you believe they can't they
will very can't I go to bed I rest my
case
okay
[Music]
[Applause]
my goodness yes doubling your best Oh
what am I going to do if I lose I tell
you what I'm gonna treat you to a dinner
at my restaurant crime
crying dragon this one ladies gentlemen
welcome to the Texas over the garage
engine but before this nationally man
should be do join us bridge bustable
tree now martial artists in the camp
there's going to be plenty action here
today
all right great all through the matter
is please make sure no sense all the
standing here once you go ahead and
watch them demonstration okay okay great
they're all set thank you morning
application please all right next up
battle on demonstrating and whose report
oh we don't have one we wanted to
compete a three-person team odd it's a
team competition and you have to have a
complete team which is four people so
just going to find another team member
thank you so much application please
morning thanks
this competition is drama Kalani respect
and it works for whooshing sound
exciting here's a math we didn't create
short enemies top flight competitors all
including last year Jana James L dojo
and instead of completed to dedicate
connected very few each took their
country
I have an idea for for
you grab him by the leg and ripped his
pants completely off well well well what
a surprise
Chuck Norris too bad you're not still
fighting I'd love to kick your ass hole
in your dream stone yeah I'd be your
worst nightmare Chuck
like I had a change desi are you crazy
I'm sorry
not gonna join us he's the boy's hero
ask him
excuse please dad's coming through
training table
ask him wow we fell apart easier I think
internationals will Mattel expensive
bought at then I'm always most black
belt I've ever seen you
we had a great fight you hi could I talk
to you for a minute please mr. Norris
yeah sure just second guys I'm Noreen
chin oh hi
[Applause]
[Music]
science up north your uh oh me oh my
Barry
hi Barry nice to meet you you're
competing yeah
good nervous oh gosh she said never been
so nervous in my life I'll being nervous
is good it loosens you up tell you what
why don't you and I go win this Diana
what do you mean I mean you needed a
14-member and now you've got one besides
there's a fighter here who needs a
lesson in humility
we'll be back with the first of the
college the ladies have a brief
intermission
this is a little joke here what oh come
on Chuck Norris be Chuck Norris you got
a problem with that son no and the name
of your team
[Music]
tapping hi I still can't believe it
somebody pinch me
ow mr. relieve it's only an expression
and why say it I go home not what do you
mean I got a restaurant to run I'll be
back in time be back by 2:00 o'clock
we'll all competitors for the Women's
College please report to the Justice
team
[Applause]
[Music]
no reading chair representing the five
dragons Oh
[Music]
Oh Mickey no no leave it off the sole
dojo
[Music]
[Applause]
first place Malia burn out the so does
go off to an early lead going into
breaking cognition and I'm strong
second-place showing from Noreen jet
[Applause]
wary key to third to the call the
restaurant he wasn't there
brandy Shalini
last year's winner looking to better his
record with an eight brick brick lady
silly ladies and gentlemen from a stone
dojo we have one more contestant left
Lee Chan from the front line no frying
dragon with mr. Li Chen enter the ring
please mr. Li Cheng kids please coming
through excuse hey he's here
hey check this out
here's a guy gonna break bricks we're
late room hey you're not wearing a
karate guy don't hate Carnegie for brick
breaking
is it red white wine with bricks ladies
and gentlemen he's asking for another
brick
we're going to be eating humble
that brings the flying dragon within two
points to the gemstone those
[Music]
Master Sword and it can't get a penny
[Music]
ah
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
vary your routine show me the drags
resemblance and Happiness Go Go laughter
Oh Chucky Chucky like that all right how
are you mr. Norris I feel like I've
known you a long time what a Chuck and
thanks meeting you I want to let you
know how much I appreciate your help my
boring joining the team
oh my get ready nice meeting y'all next
when you do
[Music]
[Applause]
what
Oh
[Applause]
you
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
tell me tell me so yeah come on come on
you know loris I've always wanted to see
how good you really are
you're only gonna fit one stone yeah
[Applause]
miele repair catalyst for prying eyes
and takes over
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
you talking to me
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
all right
[Music]
oh man take no all right I wasn't ready
ready
[Music]
yes
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
nope
[Applause]
[Music]
Oh
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
well they did gentlemen it seems we now
have a tie the Sun dojo and the frying
dragon have both amassed 36 points there
will be a tiebreaker please stand by for
the docile fry and dragon calls heads
heads it is the fine dragon team chooses
the participants
if we will be bury me
oh we will why me you can do it you won
the weapon they don't have anyone you
can touch you you're the one with
something to prove you've already proven
yourself so just do what you think is
right the tiebreaker will be between
very raw brewski and Randy Swaney
and the event will be breaking we choose
breaking I'm not a doing stuff there
yeah kind of and then it once you can do
it again
we're with you Barry very worried why
don't you just quit now to avoid the
embarrassment reversal stones being
ready
[Applause]
be that you say you
yeah
and here's very kabuki there a guitarist
he has a pretty stylin for ya
okay I think we're that stinks you're
using your hand too much you are not
enough is like hammer it is hand handle
Dom I'm in this right now
mr. Julian asking for another break he's
going for a record-breaking nine Rex
ready no right no right ladies and
gentlemen bunny that's broke I can see
it what the hell you're talking about
what will you say you're gonna break
something you break it the hell is wrong
with you I told you to break your
follow-through with your fists and I -
bring it
very good Abruzzi had a chance so wit
all are you gonna brag nine bricks
[Music]
hey will you break your hand almost
Christmas very wary I'm gonna go get a
great big big traditional are you're not
going to talk
[Music]
no anger you were here to confront
brakes and stupid boy now cut that right
[Music]
yeah this will help you
[Music]
[Applause]
I don't know what to say I've always
wanted to meet you
well it's been my pleasure if some kind
of like a dream coming true dreams do
come true Barry if you want them bad
enough
there's my dad
[Music]
you
[Music]