(birds chirping)
(low thudding)
(eerie ambient music)
(wind whooshing)
(eerie ambient music)
(intense percussive music)
(breathing heavily)
(moaning)
(screaming)
(gasping)
(eerie ambient music)
- Huh?
(yelling)
- Oh.
(screaming)
(all shouting)
- [Man] Hi, guys.
I'll be right back.
(all shouting)
- [All] Huh?
(shrieking)
(grunting) (upbeat rock music)
(screaming)
(grunting)
(screaming)
(all shouting)
(screaming)
(all shouting)
(screaming)
- Help!
Over here!
- [Man] Be right with you, lady.
(grunting)
(groaning)
(gasping)
(yelling)
(grunting)
(all shouting)
(breathing heavily)
- Thanks, Barry.
Thanks for helping me out again.
- That's all right, Chuck.
That's what sidekicks are for.
But wherever I am, whatever I'm doing
all you got to do is ask, Chuck.
(all laughing)
- Sure thing, Chuckie-poo, old pal.
Any old time, old buddy.
(all laughing)
- Yeah!
Barry warry, you geek.
(coughing and wheezing)
- [Girl] What a dork.
(all laughing)
Why don't you just leave him alone?
- All right, class, settle down.
That's enough.
Let it happen, Barry.
Relax.
You don't have to fight it.
(bell ringing)
Class time Friday, chapter seven.
(all talking)
- Hey, Barry?
Do you want me to wait after?
I can.
- No, no, not tonight, Lauren.
My dad's coming.
- Okay.
- Bye, Lauren.
- Bye.
- Where were you this time?
- Uh, Japan, I think.
- Uh-huh.
You were supposed to be in my history class.
- Yeah, I know.
I don't know why it happens.
- Barry, you've got to understand.
There's a time and a place for dreams.
It's not in a classroom.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
- When your dad comes to pick you up,
he and I need to have a talk again.
(bell ringing)
- I've had talks with him about the daydreams.
He's, uh, he's just never been a physical kid.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Einstein, uh, Ghandi, Gershwin,
there's nothing wrong with these people.
My son has asthma.
He's made up this world
where he can be the star athlete,
the quarterback.
He can be, uh-
- Chuck Norris?
- Yeah.
Yeah.
He says they're sidekicks, that they do things together.
I don't know.
(sighing)
- You ever tried?
- What?
- Being his sidekick?
- I don't think I have a chance against Chuck.
I put in a lot of hours at work.
Barry's alone too much
with his videos, his karate games-
- We all put in extra hours, Mr. Gabrewski.
That's not what I asked you.
- Am I close with my son?
Yeah.
We went through some hard times, and, uh,
that should have brought us closer, but, uh-
- You have to help him change his priorities.
Maybe yours too.
- [Jerry] Barry.
Barry! - What?
- Get a grip.
What's the matter with you?
- Oh, oh, nothing.
- Space case.
Come on, let's go.
It's late, let's go.
- Bye, Barry.
See you tomorrow.
- Yes, thank you, Miss Chan.
- Thank you for your time.
- Did you forget something?
- Hmm?
Oh.
(chuckling)
Yeah, thank you.
Let's go.
We'll see this Master Stone and sign you up for karate.
What? - Nothing, nothing.
- One!
Two!
Three!
Four!
Snap at the top!
Come on, come on!
Two!
Stretch it!
Three!
- I'm just going to tell him we're here.
- [Kelly] With speed.
(all shouting)
- Excuse me.
Pardon me.
Uh, excuse me.
- Four!
Let's snap at the top!
Snap it!
Hey!
You!
- Me?
- Yeah!
You!
We don't wear shoes on the mat here, mister.
- Sorry.
Double knots.
Socks too?
(all laughing)
- Hey, hey, hey!
Don't touch that.
So, you want to learn karate, huh?
- [Barry] Yeah.
- "Yeah?
Yeah?"
You mean, yes, sir,
don't you, son?
- Oh, yeah.
Yes, sir.
- Your father here tells me all you think about
is this, uh, art, this craft, that has taken me years,
years, to master.
(wheezing)
Could you wheeze a little quieter, kid?
I'm trying to talk, here.
- Excuse me, Mr. Stone.
My son has a condition-
- You must be pretty good to win all this stuff.
- Well, I don't like to brag or anything-
- I bet you're almost as good as Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris?
Chuck Norris?
He doesn't compete anymore, kid, and one of the reasons,
one of the main reasons he doesn't is me!
(laughing)
- Okay, let's, uh-
- He doesn't compete
because I would kick his ass.
- Let's go, son.
Come on.
- Kick his ass!
- Got you the first time.
This isn't all there is.
- You know, kid, that's the first smart thing
you've said all day,
"This isn't all there is."
It's just the best.
- You know, karate is a sport
of discipline and restraint and style,
one that builds respect.
- You believe in the Easter bunny too, kid?
Chuck Norris!
(suspenseful orchestral music)
Bring the gunpowder!
(laughing)
Now I teach you lesson!
- Help!
- Hush.
I blow you up now.
Please!
Ah. - Help!
(Kelly laughing)
(gasping)
(Kelly laughing)
(laughing)
Help!
(Kelly laughing)
(gun firing)
(gasping)
(guns firing)
(sighing)
(guns firing)
(explosion booming) (screaming)
(groaning)
- Uh-oh.
(screaming)
(grunting)
(guns firing)
(laughing)
(static hissing)
- [Jerry] Time for bed.
- Uh, dad-
- You looked like you were already asleep.
Were you watching that thing?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I was, kind of.
Uh, dad?
- What?
- Did you ever, uh,
become involved with something?
Uh-
- It's late.
You got to get your eight hours.
What?
- Nothing.
- What?
- Forget it.
- What?
(door slamming)
(sighing)
- Miss Chan!
Miss Chan, well, well.
Long time no see.
What's El Rusho Supremo?
The last time we spoke
your uncle was coming to town.
Did he ever get here?
- Yes, today.
Please, Eugene, I'm late.
- Does he need a job?
If I may say so, I'm not without influence in this town.
- I'm his sponsor, Mr. Mapes.
He has a job.
He's going to be working in my family's restaurant.
- But that's so stereotypical.
It's like working in a laundry.
- Uh-huh.
Believe it or not, we've done that too.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for my date.
- Date?
Oh, my jealousy rears its ugly green head.
Who's the lucky fellow?
- An appointment date, Eugene,
one of my students.
(clicking tongue)
- Trouble with one of the urchins?
Perhaps I can be of assistance.
- Barry Gabrewski.
Oh, but he's, uh-
- He's what?
- Uh, well, he's,
slow and, uh, impaired-
Hopeless, hopeless.
The kid is hopeless.
- He's a dreamer, Mr. Mapes
and historically, dreamers have a pretty good track record.
(helicopter whirring)
(suspenseful orchestral music)
(explosions booming)
(grunting)
- Barry.
Barry!
And what, may I ask, was all that about?
(eerie ambient music)
- Oh, I, I was working out a Charley horse.
Yeah, I was, uh,
just working it out.
- Uh-huh, we'll talk about it later.
Now, there's someone I want you and your dad to meet.
If he likes you
maybe he'll be the one to teach you martial arts.
- Nobody likes me.
Why would he?
- Well, I don't know.
Maybe because he's a little bit like you.
- May I help you?
- You can help everybody in this place.
Tell that chink to douse that cigar.
This is a public area.
He's not supposed to be smoking that in here.
- Yes, of course you are right.
Since we are all so similar,
would you mind telling me
which particular chink you are referring to?
- The geezer in front of you, Charlie.
- Excuse me.
Sign says-
(speaking foreign language)
- Come on, come on.
(speaking foreign language)
(inhaling)
(blowing)
- Where, uh,
where is it?
- By the way, my name is not Charlie.
- Huh?
Hmm.
(sniffing)
Smoke.
Smoking.
I'm smoking?
I'm smoking!
Get this thing off me.
(man shouting)
This is my favorite jacket!
What are you doing?
- What's this?
- That's how we teach children to use chopsticks.
- Okay.
I get the point.
See, if they had points on them
you could just stab it.
(chuckling)
It's not happening.
I wanted to impress your uncle.
- Did you notice my uncle stopped using his
halfway through the meal?
- He did?
(laughing)
- He really likes you.
He's very impressed
with your work with computers.
Are you almost finished with your program?
- How did you know?
- Your son.
- Oh.
- He's told me a lot about you.
- He hasn't told me much about you.
What about you?
Well, my father built this restaurant.
He came here first.
Eight years later he sent for my mother.
- So you grew up around here then?
- Yes.
They worked here together.
Then my father died.
My mother ran the place herself for a while,
but then, two years ago, he sent for her again.
Now it's all I have left of them.
- And your uncle?
- Dear uncle,
a poet and a charmer, teacher and philosopher.
(gasping)
(sighing)
- That is the ninth time.
- Yeah, I'm sorry.
I wasn't ready.
- That is the entire point of this exercise.
You must always be ready.
And you,
you want to be a martial artist.
And what would be your fighting name?
Hmm, Barry the Leopard.
No, no, no, no.
Not quite right.
Uh, Barry the Tiger, who fights
with courage and relies on instinct.
No.
That won't do.
(muttering)
Hmm.
I have it.
I've got it.
- What?
What is it?
- Mr. Dumpling.
Mr. Dumpling, who fights in a most deceptive manner
by smashing the fists of his opponents
with his own face.
- Uh, Mr. Lee.
- Mr. Dumpling never attacks
because he does not survive to attack,
because he is never ready.
- Okay, I get the point, Mr. Lee.
- All right, then.
It's very simple.
I will help you learn what you want to know.
But once you stop wanting to learn, I will stop teaching.
- Mr. Lee, I don't want to stop learning.
- Oh, never interrupt your teacher.
This, for example is a thief.
You cannot compromise with a thief
unless you wish to give something of yourself away.
Does that appear confusing?
- Yes.
- Good.
Life is very confusing.
And that is your first lesson.
- I married the first girl I took out.
- How long has she been gone?
- She passed away almost 10 years ago.
You sure Barry is going to be okay with your uncle?
- Oh, my uncle will behave himself.
If he doesn't, I'll break his arm.
(laughing)
More tea?
- Yeah.
- How far is your school from your house?
- About, uh, five, 10 minutes.
- Not how long.
How far? - Oh.
Two miles.
- How do you get there?
- My dad drops me off in the morning
picks me up in the afternoon or I get a ride.
- From now on, you will walk to school,
that is until next week.
Then you will run.
We will see if that is a thief or a crutch.
(speaking foreign language)
- Yes?
- There's a problem out here.
- Where's that little gal, grub?
Grub, that is the name, ain't it?
(all laughing)
- It's gab, Gabrewski.
Ga, ga, ga...
(all laughing)
(glass shattering)
It's a funny name.
- It is a funny name.
(laughing)
Grub's better, ain't it, boys?
Right, guys?
- [All] Grub, grub, grub, grub!
(laughing)
What's your, what's your name?
- Hank.
It's short for Henry.
- Oh, yeah.
I had an uncle named Henry one time.
- Yeah?
I don't think I knew him.
- Let me deal with them.
- What are you doing?
- Preparing.
- We're going to do something really special for you.
We're going to remodel this place.
- [Man] Yeah, boss.
- We'll take that wall over there
and put it here.
(laughing)
That wall will be back over here.
And I think the kitchen will be all the way in the front.
- [Jerry] The front?
- First thing we're going to do
is we're going to start right here.
(glass shattering)
(man laughing)
(speaking foreign language)
- [Man] Look at this guy.
(speaking foreign language)
- Whoa!
That boy's drunk.
That's a drunken Chinaman.
- [Mr. Lee] Who order wonton?
- Ow!
You dumb idiot!
You son of a, ah!
- Sorry, sorry.
(yelling)
(yelping)
- Hot, hot, hot!
- Water!
- What, are you crazy?
(Hank yelping)
- You all right?
- Uh-huh.
(glass shattering)
- [Man] Ow!
You're on my hand!
Get off my hand!
- Oh!
(yelping)
- Ah!
(screaming)
(grunting)
(groaning weakly)
(sighing)
(engines revving)
- These gentlemen only saw what I appeared to be.
Lesson number two,
believe what is, not what you think.
Remember, tomorrow you walk to school, huh?
(sighing)
- [Barry Voiceover] The kid moved down the street.
Alert,
constant vigilance,
eternal suspicion,
like Chuck in the jungle.
Beware the enemy.
(speaking foreign language)
(suspenseful orchestral music)
(grunting)
(all shouting)
(dog barking)
(gun firing)
(panting)
The kid evaded capture
or worse, this time,
but the bad guys are still out there, somewhere.
- [Woman] Come on, you'll be late for school.
(inhaler spraying)
- Barry?
Are you okay?
- Uh, yeah.
Hi, Lauren.
- What's wrong?
Where's your dad?
- Oh, I thought I'd, uh,
(wheezing)
I'd walk today.
- Oh.
Gee, that's great exercise.
- Yeah.
- Well, you better hurry
'cause class starts in ten minutes.
- Okay.
- Barry, are you sure you don't want a ride?
- no, that's okay.
I want to get my heart rate up a little higher.
- Oh, okay.
Bye.
Let's go, mom.
- Now, we've read several of the bard's important plays
and these wondrous words
should stay with you from now through the end
of your days.
(laughing)
Mr. Cellini?
- Yeah?
- "Yes," is the proper response, Mr. Cellini.
- Okay.
(class chuckling)
- Perhaps, Mr. Cellini,
we should test your retention skills.
From whence does this quote come?
"To thine own self be true."
- Polonius, Mr. Mapes, from "Hamlet."
- That is correct, Lauren.
Let's try again, Mr. Cellini, shall we?
"Alas, poor yorick!
I knew him..."
Well?
- Uh, it's from the Bible, isn't it?
(class laughing)
- A book with which, I am sure
you are thoroughly familiar.
(class laughing)
No, Mr. Cellini, it's not the Bible.
(sighing)
(clicking tongue)
Yes, Mr. Gabrewski, what is it?
- Uh, yeah, it's uh, "Hamlet."
- Be still my heart!
Yes, that's correct.
Careful, Mr. Cellini.
Your competition for class dumbbell
is rapidly diminishing.
(class chuckling)
Now-
(grunting)
(suspenseful orchestral music)
- Better watch where you're going, creep.
Accidents happen when you don't pay attention.
- Let me up.
- But if I let you up you might hurt me.
(all laughing)
And I don't want you to hurt me.
It's lucky for you Master Stone didn't take you on
'cause I'm in that class
and I'd be doing this every day.
Oh, look at this.
So where's your friend Chuckie now, retard?
Oh, by the way,
Lauren doesn't like you.
She pities you.
(laughing)
(dreamy orchestral music)
- There.
Breathe out.
(coughing)
- Okay, you're doing good.
All right, let's start again.
All right, relax.
Breathe out.
Bend your knees.
Breathe in.
- [Mr. Horn] Move it, lard ass, move it!
34, hup.
35, hup.
36, hup.
37, hup.
38, hup.
39, hup.
40, hup.
Had enough?
41, hup, 42-
(dreamy orchestral music)
(upbeat piano music)
(suspenseful orchestral music)
- That's lone wolf.
- And little wolf too.
(gun firing)
(woman gasping)
- Well, well, well.
If it isn't the two big, bad wolves.
- What will you have?
- Milk.
(all laughing)
- Hey, how about some cookies?
(all laughing)
- Bartender, make mine milk too.
- [Bartender] Sure, Ranger.
- Hey, you!
Get me a drink.
Hey, better yet, give me a kiss.
- [Noreen] Let go of me!
Let go of me!
- Leave her alone.
- All right, let's do it.
(suspenseful orchestral music)
(sighing)
I can take you, little wolf.
Just you and me.
- If you're wrong,
you're dead wrong.
(suspenseful orchestral music)
(grunting)
- Oh, ooh.
- That was for nothing.
(grunting)
That was for something.
(groaning)
(grunting)
(all murmuring)
(clicking tongue)
- Watch it, Barry.
(screaming)
- Wake up!
This is gym class, sonny boy, not nap time.
How dare you fall asleep in my class!
Get up, boy!
(gasping)
- [Barry] Sorry, Mr. Horn.
- Oh, I'll bet you are
but not as sorry as you're going to be.
I've been thinking, son.
It's been a while
since your last physical evaluation.
There you are, lady.
(all laughing)
Start climbing.
- Let's go, Barry warry.
Get up that rope.
- Come on, Gabrewski, what are you,
a man, or Marvin milk-toast?
(all laughing)
(grunting)
(all laughing)
Keep going, lady.
Don't even think about quitting.
- You can do it, Barry!
(all laughing)
- Barry!
Hey, Barry!
I'll race you to the top.
- I, I can't.
- Sure you can.
Just wrap your leg around the rope
and hold it with your foot.
- I can't.
- Barry, I hate that word.
- Who is he talking to?
Hey, you up there.
You nod off again?
(all laughing)
Get going!
- Don't listen to them.
Listen to me.
Wrap your leg around the rope.
(grunting)
That's it.
Now hold it with your foot.
- [Barry] Okay.
- Now all the weight's in your legs.
Relax your arms a little.
See?
Weight's in your legs.
There you go.
All right, now, pull!
That's it, use your legs.
That's it.
Good.
There you go.
Pull, yeah.
- [Lauren] Come on, Barry.
You can do it.
- Pull, Barry.
Yeah, you're doing great, Barry.
It's all yours, Barry.
All the way to the top.
- Well, I'll be.
(all clapping)
- [Lauren] All right, Barry!
- [Mr. Horn] Hit the showers!
- Mr. Horn was sure mean today.
I think you ought to tell your daddy.
- My daddy?
No, I don't think he would be much help.
- Why not?
My daddy would rope him, shoot him,
stuff him, and mount him.
- What?
- That's what he always says.
- That's 'cause he's a Texan.
My dad's a computer programmer from Pittsburgh.
Make him mad, he just punches the keyboard harder.
(laughing)
- This is where I get off.
- Oh, um, Lauren.
I, uh,
I, uh, you know,
I really like you.
- I like you too, Barry.
- Okay, great.
Well, if I like you and you like me,
why don't we go out?
- Go out?
- Yeah.
- Barry, I like you, but just not like that.
- What?
- I worry about you.
The others are so mean.
It makes me feel so-
- Sorry for me.
- No.
- Yeah, Cellini was right.
You pity me.
- I do not!
I don't!
- I get it, okay?
- Barry!
Please.
(dramatic orchestral music)
(Barry coughing and wheezing)
- I hate this crap.
I'm going to beat this thing.
I will beat you!
(sobbing)
(eerie ambient music)
- I'm going to show you
how easy it could be.
(screaming)
All you have to do
is tell me what I want to know.
(grunting)
- I won't tell you anything.
- Hang on as long as you can, Barry.
You can do it.
Just hang on.
(grunting)
- Filthy swine.
Come on, Barry warry.
Make it easy on yourself.
(screaming)
- Chuck, Chuck, I can't breathe.
- What do you care, twerp?
You sound like a bagpipe when you do anyway.
(groaning)
- Hang on, Barry.
We'll get out of this.
- Not!
I'll just squeeze his lungs out.
(groaning)
(laughing)
- Hang on, Barry.
- I can't.
- Hang on!
Barry, Barry.
- Hang on, son!
That's it, Barry.
Hang in there, boy.
(siren wailing)
- [Nurse] Dr. Hingram to the surgical ICU nurses station.
Dr. Hingram to the surgical ICU nurses station.
- Has he been getting his allergy shots on a regular basis?
- Yes.
- Has he been under any extraordinary stress lately
at home or at school?
- I don't think so.
He walked to school feeling fine this morning.
He seemed to be okay.
Is he going to be all right?
- He'll be fine.
And it's probably not a bad idea he does these things.
You know, basically, his lungs are okay.
I looked at the x-rays.
There's very little scarring, if any.
- Good.
- Frankly, I'm surprised at this attack,
what with the humidity-
- Jerry- - Noreen, thanks for coming.
- Where is Barry?
- Lee. - Is he all right?
- Yes.
Which room is he in?
- 215.
- Glad you called me.
- The doctor said his X rays are looking good.
Oh, Noreen, this is Dr. Millard.
Ms. Chan is one of Barry's teachers.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Mr. Lee?
- Yes.
I have something for you.
I will take this off, only for a few minutes.
This will help you.
(light orchestral music)
(coughing)
- That smells awful.
- Yes.
That's how I know when it's ready.
It is an old remedy
with some of my secret ingredients.
Breathe in the fumes.
Deeply.
Good.
Now rest.
(sighing)
- It's, um,
starting to burn.
What is it?
- You must breathe.
The heat will not burn you.
It will help.
Relax.
(sighing)
You were perhaps overzealous.
You tried to reach too far
too fast.
We will try again, but slower.
But now I believe you want to learn.
Good night, Mr. Dumpling.
(light orchestral music)
(door clicking)
(upbeat rock music)
Let's start with a few simple movements.
Low block.
High block.
Punch.
Kick.
High block.
Punch.
Inhale four steps.
Exhale four steps.
Inhale four steps.
Come on, Barry.
(exclaiming)
The object is not
to hurt somebody else.
It is to stop them from hurting you.
You must respect the wood.
It lives on its own.
It has its own spirit.
Barry, Barry.
- Yeah, I know.
I'm up there.
(speaking foreign language)
(groaning)
- Down and inhale.
Five.
Now rest.
Had enough?
- Yeah.
- Just one more, one more.
Easy, easy.
Good.
(bell rings)
Pick up!
- How do you feel?
- I never felt better.
- You lie as well as you run.
Drink that.
- What's this?
- Be quiet, disrespectful boy.
You dare question me?
- You took me for six bucks on gin rummy.
I'm watching you like a hawk.
- That will help with breathing.
Now drink.
- Oh, God.
That's awful.
- Foolish boy.
You think magic should win taste test?
Then nobody drink Pepsi-cola.
- Pepsi has nothing to worry about.
- You go home now.
You give me headache, and besides,
you have no more money to win.
Here, take this four times a day,
twice on Sunday.
- Okay.
Good-bye, miss Chan.
Don't play cards with this guy, okay?
- Oh, I already learned that.
Say hi to your dad for me.
- All right.
- Magic potion.
Oh, what's in this?
- Don't worry.
It won't kill him.
- Imagine my relief.
(sighing)
- What the hell's that smell?
- I don't know.
- Must be a sewage backup around here.
No.
Don't be late for school.
(upbeat rock music)
(inhaler spraying)
(whistle blowing)
- Form a line!
Gabrewski, what are you doing here?
Get your butt up there
on the benches with the rest of the babies.
(all laughing)
- I'm okay, Mr. Horn.
I'm gonna take the class today.
- Like hell you will, boy.
You end up in the hospital again
my tail will end up in the ringer, for sure.
- Yeah, but-
- No buts, except yours, parked up there.
Now, get moving!
- Yeah, Barry warry, before you get hurt.
- Cellini, I don't remember asking for your opinion!
20 laps!
All right, now it's time
to meet my good friend, Mr. Push-up.
Hit the deck.
(boys groaning)
Gabrewski, what are you doing?
I told you to get up there with the rest of the babies.
We haven't got all day.
We got work to do.
- And I can do it.
Look, I'll sign a release or something, okay?
- You'll do that, boy.
Okay, everybody, Mr. Push-up.
All right, let us go.
25 to warm you up.
One.
Gabrewski, you drop dead on me
and I swear I will shoot myself and come on after you.
Five, six.
- Barry, I have something for you.
You will work with these an hour each day.
If you make a mistake,
they will sting you,
but I will help you make them sing.
- They look deadly.
- It is true, they are weapons,
but you must realize
that the greatest weapon you'll ever possess
is self-control.
(upbeat rock music)
(groaning)
(sighing)
(breathing heavily)
- Oh!
- That's using your head, Barry.
(clapping)
- That's beautiful.
It's like a ballet.
- It takes a long time to learn.
Much discipline.
Come, Barry.
Time to run.
- Work him hard, Lee.
- Yes, sir.
- See you later.
- Bye-bye.
- I wish I could do what you do.
- [Noreen] Sure, you can.
- I couldn't.
- Come on.
- What? - Come on.
- No, no, no, no.
What?
- Feet together.
(laughing)
- Come on.
I'm going to hurt myself.
All right.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Got that.
(laughing)
I can't.
You move so graceful.
- It's more important to be graceful here.
(upbeat rock music)
(humming)
(exclaiming)
- [Lee] Heads up.
10 out of 12.
Not bad.
- Mr. Lee? - Mm-hmm.
Do you ever dream?
- Oh, yes.
Not uh, just at night.
- You mean dreaming when you're awake?
- I mean, it's kind of like
I'm off someplace or having an adventure with-
- With him.
- Yeah.
- Dreams are good.
- Even when you're walking down a hallway
or sitting in a classroom?
I like 'em and all that, but uh,
I mean, is it normal
for that to happen?
- You must learn to control them.
When you learn to control them,
you will have fewer dreams then,
but they will be richer ones.
- Is that the way it's supposed to be?
- The dream world is where the child lives.
Growing older would not mean growing wiser
if that world did not exist.
- How did you learn so much?
- Television.
(upbeat rock music)
(grunting)
Always expect the unexpected.
- Okay.
(grunting)
- Stop.
You're kicking much harder.
Now I'm ready.
(grunting)
Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.
Enough for now.
Enough for now!
Not too bad.
Now, we run.
- [All] Go, go, G-O!
Go, Redskins, go!
Go, go, G-O!
Go, Redskins, go!
(all cheering)
- Hey.
- Hey, it's Barry warry.
(gasping)
I can't breathe.
(gasping)
- Up yours, Cellini.
- [All] Oooh.
(gasping)
- Barry, Barry, we always seem to meet this way.
What did you say to me?
- I said it's not going to be so easy this time.
(grunting) (suspenseful rock music)
- What, do you think you're bad?
- Just knock it off, Cellini, okay?
- What are you gonna do now?
So you want to learn karate, huh?
You're about to get your first lesson for free.
(grunting)
(all cheering)
(grunting)
- All right, I'm out of here.
(grunting)
- Hey, Barry.
(grunting)
(all cheering)
(grunting)
- What in thunder is going on here?
Cellini, are you nuts?
You could kill him.
- He was the one that started it.
- If that's true, kid, you've got less brains
than a woodpecker on an aluminum telephone pole.
Now you two break it up and hit the showers.
All right, show's over.
Come on, you kids, break it up.
- It's not over by a long shot.
- Barry!
Not bad, kid.
Not bad at all.
- I can't believe that was you.
- Yeah, well, you're not the only one.
- He's such a creep and a bully.
- Yeah, he's just an all-around kind of guy.
- Barry, what are you doing this weekend?
- Um, I'm going to the zoo.
- Can I come with you?
- Yeah.
Yeah, sure, I'd like that.
- Great.
I'll see you in English, okay?
- [All] Go, Redskins, go!
(all cheering)
(light orchestral music)
(exhaling)
(laughing)
- More flesh razor blades in this bubble gum.
(laughing)
More acid rain in these jawbreakers.
Yes!
Dynamite in the pinatas.
Where's that girl?
Bring me that girl.
Ah, yes.
- Yes, boss?
- What is the problem, huh?
- She won't talk.
I thought she was smart.
- Well, you know what to do, so do it.
- My pleasure. - No, no!
Help!
(screaming)
- Let's do it.
All right, Barry
I'll take the front, and you take the back.
You know the cue.
- Same as always, all hell breaks loose.
What about him?
(muffled grunting)
- Help me.
Help me.
- Come on, get going.
Let's get going now!
(laughing)
(dramatic orchestral music)
(glass shattering)
- Help me.
Help me, help me.
(tires squealing)
Help me.
(tires screeching)
(crashing)
- Wasn't that spike?
- [Both] I don't know.
(explosion booming)
(dreamy orchestral music)
- Well, our hero.
Get him!
(explosion booming)
(dreamy orchestral music)
Oh, a hero clone.
Destroy them both!
(guns firing)
(suspenseful music)
(gun firing)
You missed me.
(guns firing)
Get them, get them, get them!
(guns firing)
Listen to me now.
Get them, get them, get them!
Get them, get them, get 'em, get 'em, get 'em.
(gun firing)
(launcher whirring)
(guns firing)
You wouldn't dare.
Ooh!
(explosion booming) (groaning)
(eerie ambient music)
- [Lauren] Help!
- Get me down from here.
Help me!
Help, Spike!
Where is spike?
He's never around when you need him.
I'll just hang around up here till they leave.
(chuckling)
I'll just hang around up here.
(screaming)
Maybe not.
- Ew.
(grunting)
- [Lauren] Help!
- Sweetheart. - Barry.
- Hey, Barry.
What's going on?
Where's Noreen?
- Hey, this is my dream.
- My hero!
- Oh.
(light synth music)
(grunting)
- Hi.
- Here, tough guy.
You want a real shot at me?
There's your chance,
if you're not too chicken.
- A karate tournament?
- That's right.
It's a fair contest.
- Fair?
That will be the day.
- Lauren, I used to think you were smart.
I mean, I don't know why you hang around this bozo
when you could have someone like me.
- Don't make me ill.
- [Eugene] All right, class,
the day we've all been waiting for is finally here,
the English romantic poets.
(all groaning)
Now, we're going to start with Percy Bysshe Shelley.
- We have decided we will join you
in this team competition.
- I should feel happy,
but I'm not.
- Natural reaction.
Natural doubt.
- I'm not ready.
- True.
(chuckling)
Look at the tortoise, Barry.
The tortoise is very clumsy
and not musical at all
but it has been said, and I believe it
when all things are right,
when a dream becomes true,
when the impossible is accomplished
and lies behind you,
on that day, the turtles will dance.
(laughing)
- Tortoises can't dance.
- A-ha.
You only think they can't.
If you believe they can, they will.
- Barry, come take a look at this.
- I rest my case.
(laughing)
(upbeat rock music)
(grunting)
Wait for me!
(Barry whooping)
(laughing)
My goodness.
You're doubling your bets?
What am I going to do if I lose?
I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I'm going to treat you to a dinner at my restaurant.
(laughing)
Frying, Frying Dragon.
This one?
Ooh.
Thank you very much.
Now, you, girl.
This one?
- Ladies and gentlemen
welcome to the Texas open team karate championship.
But before this nationally sanctioned meet,
you'll enjoy a demonstration
by some of the most renowned martial artists in the country.
There will be plenty of action here today.
- All right.
Great.
- [Announcer] Will all competitors
please make sure to register?
- Listen, there's no sense all of us standing here.
Why don't you go ahead and watch some demonstrations.
- Yeah, okay, great.
Thanks.
- You're all set.
- All right, thanks. - Thank you.
Good morning.
Application, please?
All right.
- [Announcer] Next up, weapons form demonstrations.
- And who's your fourth?
- Oh, we don't have one.
We wanted to compete as a three-person team.
- Ah, no.
It's a team competition
and you have to have a complete team,
which is four people, so,
you're just gonna have to find another team member.
Thanks so much.
Step aside.
Application, please?
Good morning.
Thank you very much.
- [Announcer] This competition has drawn
the karate world's best and brightest
for what should be an afternoon of unexcelled excitement.
Here's Andrew Ashley demonstrating sword techniques.
Topflight competitors all,
including last year's champion team, Stone Dojo
and second place contender, The Kick Connection.
- Oh, Barry is going to be so disappointed.
- There's Chuck Norris.
(crowd cheering)
- I have an idea for fourth.
Come on.
(crowd cheering)
- They grabbed him by the leg
and ripped his pants completely off.
(all laughing)
- Well, well, well, what a surprise.
Chuck Norris.
Too bad you're not still fighting.
I'd love to kick your ass.
- Only in your dreams, Stone.
- Yeah, it would be your worst nightmare, Chuck.
- That guy hasn't changed, has he?
- Are you crazy, uncle?
He's a star.
He's not gonna join our team.
- He's the boy's hero.
Ask him.
Excuse me.
Judge coming through.
- [Man] That's not the original training table.
He'll never let me.
- There he is.
Ask him.
Ask well.
(crowd cheering)
- [Chuck] I think the internationals
are one of the toughest tournaments we fought in.
- [Noreen] Hello?
- [Man] Most black belts I've ever seen.
- [Noreen] Excuse me?
Hi.
Could I talk to you for a minute, please, Mr. Norris?
- Yeah, sure.
Just a second, guys.
Can I help you?
- I'm Noreen Chan.
- Oh, hi, Noreen.
(upbeat rock music) (crowd cheering)
- Hi, I'm Chuck Norris.
- Yeah. - And you're-
- Oh, me?
Oh, well, I'm Barry.
- Hi, Barry.
Nice to meet you.
You competing?
- Yeah.
- You nervous?
- Oh, gosh, yes.
I've never been so nervous in my life.
- Well, being nervous is good.
It loosens you up.
I'll tell you what.
Why don't you and I go win this thing, huh?
- What do you mean?
- I mean you needed a fourth team member
and now you've got one.
Besides, there's a fighter here
who needs a lesson in humility.
- [Announcer] We'll be back with the first
of the competitions, the ladies kata
after a brief intermission.
- This is a little joke here?
- What?
- Oh, come on, Chuck Norris?
The Chuck Norris?
- You got a problem with that, son?
- No.
And the name of your team?
(dreamy orchestral music)
- [Noreen] Happy?
- I still can't believe it.
Somebody pinch me.
Ow!
Mr. Lee, that's only an expression.
- Then why say it?
I go home now.
- What do you mean?
- I got a restaurant to run.
I'll be back in time.
- Be back by two o'clock.
- [Announcer] Will all competitors for the women's kata
please report to the judges' stand?
(audience applauding)
(upbeat music)
(shouting) (crowd cheering)
(shouting)
(grunting)
(audience applauding)
Noreen Chan, representing the Frying Dragon Dojo.
(light orchestral music)
(audience applauding)
- Beautiful!
(cheering)
Man.
- That was great.
- That was beautiful.
Beautiful.
- That was so great.
Have you seen uncle?
- No.
- [Announcer] Malia Bernal representing the Stone Dojo.
(upbeat music)
(audience applauding)
(crowd cheering)
First place, Malia Bernal.
(audience applauding)
The Stone Dojo off to an early lead
going into the breaking competition
and a strong second-place showing
from Noreen Chan.
- Where is he?
It's 2:30.
- I called the restaurant.
He wasn't there.
- Randy Cellini, last year's winner
looking to better his record
with an eight-brick break.
(grunting)
(shouting)
(crowd cheering)
(grunting)
Randy Cellini, ladies and gentlemen
from the Stone Dojo.
We have one more contestant left.
Lee Chan from the flying, no, Frying Dragon.
- Would Mr. Lee Chan enter the ring, please?
Mr. Lee Chan.
- [Mr. Lee] Excuse, please.
Coming through.
Excuse.
- He's here, he's here.
- Hey, check this out.
Here's a guy going to break bricks
wearing an apron.
(groaning)
- Hey, you're not wearing a karate gi.
- Don't need karate gi for brick breaking.
(sighing)
- Is it red or white wine with bricks?
Ladies and gentlemen, he's asking for another brick.
(shouting)
(crowd cheering)
Wow!
He broke them, he broke them.
- Hey, we're going to be eating humble brick here, Dave.
- Yeah!
- [Announcer] That brings the Frying Dragon
within two points of the champion, Stone Dojo.
(upbeat rock music)
(crowd cheering)
(grunting)
Manuel Serrano, ladies and gentlemen
the Stone Dojo's master swordsman
and it's championship technique at its best.
(crowd cheering)
- Yeah!
Yeah!
(upbeat rock music)
(dramatic orchestral music)
(crowd cheering)
- [Announcer] Barry Gabrewski.
What a show, what a show!
Entering the freestyle fighting,
the Dragons are in second place
against the undefeated dojo master, Kelly Stone.
(cheering) (audience applauding)
(grunting)
- Chuck.
Chuck.
This is my dad.
- Hi, how are you?
- Mr. Norris, I feel like I've known you a long time.
- Well, it's Chuck
and it's nice meeting you.
- I want to let you know
how much I appreciate your helping my boy,
joining the team.
(upbeat rock music) (grunting)
- Oh, hi.
I have to get ready.
- Nice meeting you.
- Nice meeting you too.
(upbeat rock music)
(grunting)
- Point.
(grunting)
- Ah, yeah.
(grunting)
(scoffing)
- [Announcer] Chuck Norris
will meet Kelly Stone in the final match.
- Yeah.
Come on, come on!
- Go get him.
- You know, Norris, I've always wanted
to see how good you really are.
- You're only going to see it once, Stone.
- Yeah.
(laughing)
(crowd cheering)
- [Announcer] And here they are
in the final freestyle pairing
Chuck Norris for the Frying Dragon
and Kelly Stone representing his dojo.
(crowd cheering)
(grunting) (crowd booing)
- Yeah!
Huh?
You talking to me, all of you?
Come on, all the way.
Come on, Chuck.
(grunting) (upbeat rock music)
(groaning)
(grunting)
(crowd cheering)
Come on!
All right!
Come on, Norris!
Come on.
(grunting)
(crowd cheering)
(groaning)
- [Referee] Add one point.
- You didn't say go, man!
You didn't say go, all right?
I wasn't ready.
(grunting)
(yelling)
(crowd cheering)
- No point.
No point.
(grunting)
(yelling)
- All right!
Way to go, Chuck!
- Shut up, you twerp.
All right, Norris.
Let's really do it now, man.
I'll go with you.
(grunting)
(loud grunting)
(exclaiming)
(groaning)
Whoa!
Wow-wow!
(grunting)
- Ooh.
- Oh, that hurt.
(crowd cheering)
- Well, ladies and gentlemen,
it seems we now have a tie.
The Stone Dojo and the Frying Dragon
have both amassed 36 points.
There will be a tie breaker.
Please stand by for an announcement.
- Frying Dragon calls heads.
Heads it is.
The Frying Dragon team chooses the participant.
- It will be Barry.
- Me?
Oh, well, why me?
- You can do it.
You won the weapons.
- They don't have anyone who can touch you.
- You're the one with something to prove.
- You've already proven yourself, son.
Just do what you think is right.
- The tie breaker will be between
Barry Gabrewski and Randy Cellini.
- And the event will be- - Breaking.
We choose breaking.
(crowd cheering)
- You know how to do this stuff, Barry?
- Yeah.
Yeah, kind of.
I've done it once.
- You can do it again.
- [Noreen] We're with you, Barry.
- Barry warry,
why don't you just quit now and avoid the embarrassment.
- [Announcer] Breaking first for the Stone team,
Randy Cellini.
(shouting)
(crowd cheering)
Yeah!
Beat that, puke face.
You.
(grunting)
Yeah!
- You'll be fine.
- [Announcer] And here's Barry Gabrewski.
They're adding a seventh.
He has to break seven for his team to stay in this.
(shouting)
(crowd cheering)
- Well done, son.
- Thanks.
Boy, that stings.
- You're using your hand too much,
your arm not enough.
It's like hammer.
Head is hand,
handle is arm.
(grunting)
- I'm going to end this right now.
- [Announcer] Mr. Cellini is asking for another brick!
He's going for a record-breaking nine bricks.
- Ready.
(shouting)
(crowd groaning)
No break.
- [Announcer] No break, ladies and gentlemen.
- What?
Hey, that broke.
I can see it.
What the hell are you talking about?
When you say you're going to break something,
you break it!
What the hell is wrong with you?
I told you to break it!
You follow through with your fist!
Damn.
I could break it.
(crowd snickering)
- [Announcer] Barry Gabrewski has a chance to win it all
if he can break nine bricks.
(dramatic percussive music)
- Hey.
When you break your hand on those bricks, Barry warry,
I'm gonna go get a great big victory kiss from Lauren.
- You're not gonna touch her.
(laughing)
- No anger.
You are here to confront bricks,
not that stupid boy.
Now, concentrate.
(dramatic percussive music)
(exhaling)
There.
This will help you.
(shouting)
(crowd cheering)
- Yeah!
(crowd cheering)
- I don't know what to say.
I've always wanted to meet you.
- Well, it's been my pleasure.
- It's, um, been kind of like a dream coming true.
- Dreams do come true, Barry,
if you want them bad enough.
- There's my dad.
Thank you.
(dreamy orchestral music)
(cheering)
- Yay, we did it!
Woo-hoo!
- [Jerry] All right!
- Yeah! - Woo-hoo!
(light orchestral music)
- Wow.
(upbeat rock music)
(dramatic percussive music)