Good morning, Ms. Hayes.
Naptime is not what it used to be.
That her?
Hot damn, this is it. A red-letter day for irony lovers everywhere.
I can see it now. "Addison tells Hayes she's late." Film at 11.
- Pinch me, this must be a dream. - I should probably warn you-
Yeah, you probably should, but why spoil the fun?
Good morning!
At least I think it's still morning.
You're usually on top of these things. You think it's still morning?
Hello?
Hello, operator? I think I reached a number that's no longer in service.
Go away.
Go- Go away? Go away?
You show up for work three hours late and you tell me to go away?
- Addison. - I know I've been late before...
...but three hours, Maddie-?
Okay, we'll let that slide for a moment.
But the door slamming, Maddie?
Door slamming is a major faux pas, office behavior-wise.
Sets a bad example. Dangerous too.
Last year, a guy got mad...
...slammed our front door so hard, big old porcelain vase came down...
...conked him smack-dab on the noggin.
Hasn't been the same ever since.
Damaged enough of the old grey matter to end up night manager...
...at a convenience store.
What do you want?
It's a whole new you.
I know how it is.
Tired of the same old, same old.
Had enough glamour for one lifetime.
Ready to take a fashion risk.
But the part about jumping into the septic tank has got me stumped.
I'm sorry if my appearance offends you.
But I had to fix a flat tire this morning, by myself, in the wind and the rain.
- Not a good day- - I was out there all morning...
...and not one man stopped to help me.
- What do you expect looking like that? - Where are all the gentlemen?
Where are the knights that help ladies in distress?
In cars, out of the wind and rain.
David Addison. The right man for the right time.
What about you? You should be ashamed.
- What about the movement? - The movement?
What about rights women dropped their mops for?
Scratched and clawed for, broken nails for?
You think because your voice is higher...
...you are entitled to service every time your car blows a tire?
Doesn't it seem a little pass� that a woman should expect men's help...
- ...every time she's in trouble? - That's not what I mean!
I'm talking about people who need people.
I'm talking about a woman occasionally needing a man's help...
...just like a man occasionally needs a woman's.
Can you stand there and tell me that you've never needed...
- ...a woman's help? - Hey. Do math majors multiply?
Of course I've needed a woman's help.
I was in bed saying, "Boy, I could use a real-"
Addison! You sleep in a pen.
I don't know. The lights are always out- The point I make is that...
...if you really consider yourself independent-
Look! Look, buster...
...I am an independent woman. I got here.
I got the tire fixed, got in the car, and I got to the office...
...an office, I might add, that I own by myself, by myself...
...which by the way, is a very attractive idea.
- Excuse me? - Leave. Go.
I want to be by myself.
Out! Now!
Pick you up some nylons?
- Out! - Stay put. Appearances count.
You wanna attract clients, gotta dress for success.
Or in your case, dress period.
Ms. Hayes? There's a woman here to see you.
Fine. Send her in.
Yes, ma'am.
Ms. Hayes, Jillian Armstrong.
Ms. Armstrong.
You look like you've had a rough morning.
Well, I had to fix a flat tire.
- Ms. Armstrong. - Jillian.
So, what can we do for you, Jillian?
To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure you can do anything for me.
I mean...
...maybe this is silly. It's- It's such a small thing but...
I've been living in a hotel for the past several weeks.
And two days ago, I noticed...
...that someone had stolen some of my jewelry.
I'm sorry. Did you let the hotel know?
Yes, but all I got was a lecture in keeping valuables in the hotel vault.
The truth is, I don't care about most of it...
...but there was this one piece that has...
...special sentimental value.
It's a silver heart-shaped locket that my grandmother gave me.
I'm wearing it in this picture.
I forgot to ask. Control top or built-in underwear? I got you both.
- David, I'd like you to meet- - Jillian.
David.
How you been?
I don't know.
- Hibernating. - Excuse me...
...do you two know each other?
Yeah...
...knew each other anyway. Long time ago.
Three years.
I- I didn't know-
I thought you worked for City of Angels.
Changed the name.
Well...
...I think that's everything, Ms. Hayes.
My number and address are on the back.
You think about whether you wanna take the case...
...and call me, if you want.
It was very nice meeting you.
Good seeing you again, David.
Good to be seen.
What?
Feel like I walked in on the middle of a movie.
What?
She's just another girl.
You know how it is.
Great set of eyes, great set of lips, terrific set of-
- Did I happen to mention eyes? - So, what happens now?
- What happens now, what? - Should we take the case...
...or will your mind forever be on, "Did I mention great set of eyes"?
Maddie, that was three years ago.
- Wanna hear something terrible? - You singing?
Until you introduced us, I was busy trying to remember her name.
- Liar. - Maddie, I'm telling you.
It was nothing. A fling. It wasn't even a fling.
- It was a "fl-" - I don't care, David.
I know you don't. Why should you care? I don't care.
It was just weird. Walking into a room and seeing old Gloria.
- Jillian. - Yeah, sitting there...
...dressed and everything.
- Wonder what she's been up to. - Old Gloria?
- She's a lot of fun. - You two went out, huh?
Well... Stayed in, mostly.
But really, I mean it, it's no big deal.
Hey.
- You gonna call her? - Who's that?
You are incredible.
Jillian told you, huh?
- David. - You remembered.
What are you doing here?
- Came to turn down the bed. - Still allergic...
...to a straight answer, aren't you?
- You remember that too, huh? - It's a hard thing to forget.
Well, there's one thing you did forget.
- What's that? - To say goodbye.
Leave a note...
...slam a door.
It was a sucker punch, honey.
I never saw it coming.
Got me right square in the gut.
Well, maybe a little higher.
I suppose I have that coming.
Look...
...all I want is five minutes.
I come in...
...we talk, I leave.
Tie up a few loose ends...
...maybe never see each other again.
Cross my mended heart.
Gotta hand it to you.
You really know how to slum it.
You could have spent two or three times what a room like this is worth...
...but for what? Having an extra city around you?
Who needs Paris and Rome? With a room like this, who needs a city?
I'm married.
Well...
...that sure sped things along.
Lucky guy.
- Must be one in a million. - His name is Harlan Armstrong.
- You don't know him. - Well...
...I never met him.
But I bet I can tell you a few things about him.
He's the kind of guy with a couple bucks in his pocket.
The kind of fellow who's willing to give you a shortcut to the good life.
The kind of man...
...who might even be low in personality...
...but really knows how to keep a woman who wants to be kept.
In the ballpark?
Maybe even on the scoreboard.
He used to request my window. At the bank?
I noticed that he had a lot of money.
And he didn't seem to mind spending it on me.
Says he:
"Let me take you away from all this."
Says you, "Oh, I do, I do."
I never made any secret about what I wanted out of life.
No. Or what you were willing to do get it.
Look...
...no matter how hard and long...
...I worked at it- Or- Or- Or we worked at it.
I was never going to have what I wanted with you, David.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, right.
You're sorry, and next day my grocery bill's cut in half.
I didn't know how to tell you.
- It wasn't easy for me either. - Yeah, right.
Clearing out before I got home...
...must have made for one tough afternoon.
Well, I guess you'll be happy to know I only got half of what I wanted.
Well, I got the right life.
I just got it with the wrong guy.
Somehow I don't buy you as a victim.
How about a divorc�e?
Is that why you're here?
Instead of being at home with hubby?
Well...
...somehow I got a feeling you're gonna land on both feet.
That's why God invented alimony.
If only it were that easy.
You see, the rich...
...get very insulted when you try to leave them.
First they have you followed...
...then they try to buy you back.
And when that doesn't work...
...they threaten you.
- Why didn't I think of that? - David.
I- I'm not proud of what I did.
But I'm trying real hard to be as honest about it as I can.
And for what it's worth...
...sorry about the way things happened between us.
Well...
...I know I'll sleep better.
You're welcome too.
You know what would have been enough?
One phone call.
One lousy phone call. You could have borrowed the dime.
David, David-
Jillian!
- Morning, Ms. Hayes. - Morning, Ms. DiPesto.
Hey, partner. What's shaking?
- Besides you, I mean. - You're in my seat.
Please, there are children watching. So how are you this morning?
I was wondering if I could ask you a favor.
- How much? - How much?
- Maddie, you wound me. - Good, it's working.
Wondering if you could visit Harlan Armstrong.
- What's a Harlan Armstrong? - Married to Jillian Armstrong.
- Jillian? Your Jillian? - Harlan's Jillian.
- She's married? - That's what you do...
- ...to get a husband nowadays. - So you talked after our meeting.
- Well, I sort of ran into her. - Oh yeah, where?
- In her hotel room. - Talk about the hand of fate.
So will you do it?
My goodness, I never seen you like this before.
- What do you mean? - All this intensity.
Old Jillian sure knows how to fan a flame.
- My interest is strictly professional. - As opposed to amateur?
They're separated.
Jillian says he's not taking it well.
- So you think he took the locket? - Might have.
What I do know is he's leaning on her.
Having her watched, harassing her.
I figured, one of us pays the worm a visit, let him know...
...he's being watched, maybe he'll back off.
Why don't you visit the worm?
Come on...
...she and I...
I don't know how much he knows.
Come on, Maddie.
Okay.
His name is Harlan Armstrong?
President of Armstrong Pharmaceuticals.
- That's all I need to know? - Well...
...I think we can assume the rest. He's rich...
...powerful...
...used to giving orders, not to mention mad as hell...
...because he just got left.
Sounds like fun.
Hey.
- I owe you. - Right.
Next time someone leaves his wife...
...I'll be sure to ask you to give the little lady the once-over.
Look...
...don't get the wrong idea about this.
She's an old friend.
She's in over her head, and I think we can help her.
- That's all it is. - That's all what is, David?
You asked me to do something. Now get out of the way so I can.
- I appreciate it. - Right.
How do you know my wife, Ms. Hayes?
She hired me. I'm an investigator.
I'm sorry, I know things are difficult right now.
It's all right.
I'm all right.
It's hard.
You live a life.
Cling to certain givens...
...people you know will always be there for you...
...pledging yourself to always be there for them.
And then one day you realize...
...there are no givens.
That in fact, the person you pledged yourself to considers you...
...unnecessary.
It's an odd feeling, being unnecessary.
Excuse me, Ms. Hayes. Please sit down.
So my wife...
...hired you to investigate something?
What I have to ask- What I need to know is...
...did you have any reason to go by your wife's hotel room two nights ago?
- Any reason at all? - All the reason in the world...
...but what good would it do me?
She wanted time.
You know what it's like?
Wanting to just pick up the phone and call her...
...knowing that will only make her madder?
Push her further away from you.
So, what's this about her hotel room?
She's missing something that I thought you might know something about.
Some jewelry was taken from her hotel room.
And you want to know if I took it?
A silver locket in particular.
Her grandmother's.
She's had that since we met.
No, I don't know anything about it.
I don't expect you understand what I'm going through, Ms. Hayes.
I suspect you're probably the type that breaks hearts.
It's not pleasant being on the receiving end.
Well, if there's nothing else.
Ms. Hayes, Mr. Addison just called.
"Hospital"?
Nurse Stone, room 354.
- Is she all right? - She will be.
- Just pumped her stomach. - Her stomach?
That's what the man said.
She's been taking pills her husband gave her to help her sleep better.
I guess they worked a little too well.
The maid found her sprawled, couldn't wake her up.
- Oh, my God. - Found 10 times the prescribed dosage.
At the hotel, I saw them put her in an ambulance.
Never would have thought she'd take it so badly.
I don't think she was.
Prescription called for two tablets. She swears that's all she took.
Well, that's natural, she's embarrassed.
People don't want to admit something like that.
I don't think there's anything to admit.
- I think her life's in danger. - You think what?
Last night we were out on her terrace. Her balcony railing gave way.
If I hadn't been there... Now this?
- I see a pattern. - I see a coincidence.
Two near-fatal accidents within 24 hours?
The lady forget to check her horoscope?
- Break a mirror, kick a cat? - What are you getting at?
- Murder. - Murder!
Yes, murder. I think I know who's guilty.
- I'm all ears. - You met her husband.
- Does the shoe fit? - Not even close, Prince Charming.
The man I met is incapable of violence. He's a wounded bird.
A heartbroken man who has lost his wife forever.
- He put on quite a show. - He doesn't have a motive.
Oh, no? Take your pick.
Grief, anger, how about money? Second oldest motive in the world.
- He doesn't want her near his. - You're not talking about him.
You don't believe she's in danger?
You are not thinking clearly about this woman or this case.
- No. - What does that mean?
- I have to draw you a picture? - You're jealous.
- Please. - You are jealous.
Of what, of who?
- Of Jillian. - Boy, have you got it backwards.
The person around here who has an emotional problem is you...
...and the emotion is lust.
Tell me that if I hadn't known Jillian...
...you would consider she's in danger-
If it was anyone else...
...you'd work so hard to try to find a reason to stick so close.
- You are, you're jealous. - Stop reasoning with your underwear.
You're not going to take this case?
There is no case. She didn't hire us to go by her hotel room.
- She didn't? - No, she didn't.
- You could have fooled me. - A gnat with a lobotomy could fool you.
I don't know what we're doing here.
I thought you quit.
Right.
Cigarettes...
...you.
All my old vices...
...have become verses.
I think I'd better go back to the hotel.
Come here.
Harlan.
What?
That's Harlan's car.
God, I can't believe he's actually watching me.
- Let me go over there and talk to him. - No, no.
I should talk to him.
- Get this whole thing straightened out. - I wanna go with you.
- No. - What if told you...
...I didn't think the pills or the balcony were an accident?
What?
Just let me go with you.
David, I appreciate your concern.
But he's still my husband.
We can still talk.
We should talk. I owe him that.
David, you're right here.
Nothing's gonna happen.
Let go of me, Harlan! Harlan, no!
Harlan, no! No!
Jillian!
I shot him.
- I shot him. Oh, my God, I shot him. - It's okay. It's okay.
David.
David. He was crazy.
He had a gun. I- I grabbed it.
David, is he dead?
Is he all right?
My God.
It's okay.
I saw the whole thing. It's okay.
- Hello. - What? They raid the Bel-Air Hotel too?
Tough questions, detective.
I'll get back to you on the name of the Jetsons' maid.
- Maddie. - I got the message, what happened?
Detective, my partner, Maddie Hayes.
- Maddie, Detective Barber. - Hi.
Hello. You understand...
...she'll be released on her own recognizance.
There will be a hearing..
...but given the evidence and your testimony, it's really just a formality.
I'm sorry to have kept you so long.
What does he mean, hearing?
- And since when did you smoke? - About an hour ago.
David, what happened tonight?
No big deal, typical evening in the park...
...a little music, a little moonlight.
A husband, a wife. One alive, one dead.
- Jillian? - She's fine.
Although not altogether in the pink...
...soon to be in the black. She's fine. Just fine.
- You mean Harlan? - He was following us.
Jillian got into it with him, he pulled a gun.
Only problem was, in the excitement, Harlan caught instead of pitched.
Oh, David.
Luckily someone was there to see it.
- I don't believe it. - Believe it.
I was the someone. I saw it. In broad moonlight.
I don't know what to say.
Say?
You don't have to say anything.
So we...
...disagreed.
You say potato, I say spud.
Well, at least the case is over.
Yeah.
At least.
Listen...
...about tomorrow, I don't really know when I'll be in.
- No problem. - But I'll call, though.
- Whatever. - No, I will. I promise.
Whatever.
See you.
Come in.
Is there something I can do for you?
- It's 6:03. - Excuse me?
It's 6:03.
- Everyone's gone home. - Gone home?
Gone home.
Well...
...guess that's the day.
Guess so.
Guess Mr. Addison just never came in.
Guess not.
Guess it's time to go home.
Guess so.
Guess Addison never called, huh?
Guess not.
There was this girl in college, Joyce...
My head just hit the pillow last night, when I realized I forgot to call you...
You reach a certain age when you don't make best friends anymore.
Anyway, she was gonna marry this guy, Kevin Fargo...
...and she wanted me to be her maid of honor.
And I wanted to be her maid of honor.
I said no, because I knew she shouldn't marry Kevin, and I told her...
- It's his funeral, Harlan's. - ...so that ended that friendship.
Which brings me to another thing, Jillian wants to get away...
...which is actually a long way of saying I've blown...
...more important friendships than this, speaking my mind.
Her being by herself...
So here it is.
I have this bad feeling about Jillian. I don't know why.
Maybe it's because she's left you once already.
Maybe it's because she's gonna become very rich. Maybe-
Maybe you're right. Maybe I am a little jealous.
I think I'm gonna go with her.
I can't help it.
I just have this feeling.
That's it. That's all.
I hope you don't hate me.
- How you doing? - Fine. Good.
It was a little quiet yesterday.
Well, I should get going.
I really don't know what's going to happen after the...
I don't know when I'll be in.
Don't worry about it. Jillian needs you right now.
- She really likes you. - I have strong feelings about her too.
Well, have a nice funeral.
You idiot.
- Did you say something? - Who, me? No.
- Hurry, you'll miss all the good parts. - Well...
Ms. Hayes?
I was looking for Mr. Addison, has he left?
I'm afraid so.
Oh, because there's a man here to see him from the police department.
- About the murder. - About the murder?
That's what he said. Do you want to see him?
Oh, of course. Sure.
Ms. Hayes, we met the other night...
...in the hallway at the station house. I'm Detective Barber.
Yes, detective. Mr. Addison is not here right now.
I don't know quite when he'll be back.
Not to worry. Normally, something like this would be a phone call.
But since you people are on my way to work, I-
- Well, it's nothing, really. - Maybe I can help you.
Well, you see, I would like to get this paperwork...
...cleared off my desk before the weekend.
And I have everything I need except for one thing.
On the night of the killing, Mr. Addison said he heard a shot.
He didn't make any big deal out of it.
He said it just like that, "a shot."
Well, the coroner's report indicated that they found two bullets in the body.
So I went back and sure enough...
...Mrs. Armstrong indicated that she had pulled the trigger twice.
- Twice? - So you see my problem.
Now, anyway, I'm sure that when Mr. Addison said that he heard a shot...
...he probably meant he heard two, but you know how it is with paperwork.
If you don't get it absolutely, perfectly clear, some big shot's...
...just gonna bounce it back to you and make you do it all over again.
So I thought I would stop in on my way in.
- But, well, look, he's not here. - There were two bullets.
But like I said, it's no big deal.
I mean, the circumstances, the evidence, it's overwhelming.
And, well, usually, you don't get this lucky.
I mean, having a killing and a witness.
Well, since he's not here...
Two bullets.
David Addison.
You are an idiot.
Look who's here. Nice of you to dress.
- Did you hear what I said? - Called me an idiot.
Drive here to tell me that, or you cruising for a time-share?
How many shots did you hear?
There's a trick in there, isn't there? The answer is none.
- You don't bury survivors. - Keep making jokes.
- Jillian is a killer. - You're telling me?
- She killed Harlan. - I know, I saw her do it.
I think you saw her take a shot at a dead man.
Been taking a few yourself.
You told the police you heard one shot, but they pulled two bullets out.
- Two? - Two.
- Says who? - Says the police, that's who.
Well, they're wrong. There was one shot, Maddie Hayes.
I know because I heard it, because I was there.
- Then that's that. - That's what?
- You say you only heard one shot. - One shot.
- The police said they removed two. - One!
I say Harlan Armstrong was dead when you saw his wife kill him.
What are you saying? You saying what I think you're saying?
I'm saying that Jillian Armstrong killed her husband in cold blood.
And five minutes later, she killed him again so you'd be sure to see it.
Must think I'm pretty stupid, huh, Maddie?
What does this look like, a hatrack?
If the guy had been dead before she shot him, I would have noticed.
Listen, you little green-eyed snake-
- Green-eyed what? - One bullet, the man was alive.
- Two bullets, dead. - One bullet, alive.
- Two bullets. - One bullet.
- Dead. Dead. Dead! - Alive. Alive. Alive!
Is something the matter?
Can't it wait until after the funeral?
- No! - Yes.
Why don't you just ask her, David.
- Ask me what? - Maddie, it's a funeral.
It's not her funeral, not yet.
- Ask me what? - Come on, just ask her.
I'm not asking her anything. I'm walking away.
- Ask me what? - It's just a simple question.
I don't believe you.
I'm going to ask her, David.
- Ask me what? - Women!
Can't live with them, can't leave them by the curb.
Mr. Addison claims that he only heard...
...one shot the night your husband was murdered.
- And...? - And there were two bullets...
...taken from his body.
David is mistaken.
What?
You're mistaken.
David, there were two shots. Two.
I know. I pulled the trigger.
Yeah, well, I know. I heard the shot.
David, it was dark, it was crazy.
Yeah, but I do this for a living. What are you, a career killer?
You loosened that balcony railing, didn't you?
And you took the extra tranquilizers, right?
And Harlan's car was there the whole time.
And so was Harlan, dead in the front seat.
He's waiting for you to come over, fake a tussle...
...and shoot him for the second time.
Me, too lovesick to see anything straight.
That about the size of it?
I don't know what to say.
I shot Harlan twice that night.
I know if you think about it, you'll remember the second shot.
And if I can't?
David.
I- I guess that will just be your word against mine.
I guess it will.
Fine.
How do you do that?
I can feel the chill over here.
Excuse me. I have a husband to bury.
Don't say a word.
- David? - Come on.
- David, this is a hearse. - Yeah, so?
Nothing, I always thought the first time I rode in one, I'd be on my back.
Don't tempt me.
Hey, guys, it's time to go!
She really made a chump out of me, didn't she?
Twice in one life, gotta be some kind of a record.
- You're driving awfully fast. - What is it with me?
It's not like I'm stupid.
It's like I just have this one blind spot.
That's God's way of evening up the score.
Gives you great looks, terrific personality.
And then he shaves a couple of watts off the old light bulb.
I guess I can live with that.
David, we're being followed.
By a lot of people!
There's a coffin back there.
You're kidding, a coffin in a hearse?
- Call Mike Wallace. - You think there's a body?
Do I think there's a dead body in it? Of course there is.
Do you think these guys carry spares?
David, let me out of this car!
- Let me out of the car. - What?
Let me out of this car!
David, I'm gonna be sick all over you.
Maddie, get a grip on yourself. It won't be much longer.
- You hate me, don't you? - What's that?
Nothing, it's just that I'm gonna die, that's all.
David!
He's safe!
You're out.
And I'm sorry.
"Dear Maddie."
"You're right."
"Sometimes..."
"I am an idiot!"
"Love, D"