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I grew up white, secular and middle class
我长大了白色，世俗和中产阶级

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in 1950s America.
在20世纪50年代美国。 

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That meant watching fireworks
on the Fourth of July,
这意味着在7月4日看烟花， 

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trick-or-treating on Halloween
万圣节上的诡计或对待

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and putting presents
under a tree at Christmas.
在圣诞节时将礼物放在树下。 

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But by the time
those traditions got to me,
但到那些传统到达我的时候， 

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they were hollow, commercial enterprises,
他们是空洞的商业企业， 

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which just left me feeling empty.
这让我感到空虚。 

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So from a relatively young age,
所以从相对年轻的时候开始， 

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I found myself looking to fill
an existential hole,
我发现自己想要填补一个存在的空缺， 

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to connect with something
bigger than myself.
连接比我自己更大的东西。 

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There hadn't been a bar mitzvah
in my family in over a century,
一个多世纪以来，我的家庭没有一家酒吧， 

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so I thought I'd take a shot at that --
所以我认为我会在这一点上 - 

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(Laughter)
 （笑声） 

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only to be devastated
when my one encounter with the rabbi,
只有当我与拉比相遇时才会受到摧残， 

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a really tall, godlike figure
with flowing white hair,
一个身材高大，神似白发飘逸的身材， 

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consisted of him asking me
for my middle name
包括他问我的中间名

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so we could fill out a form.
所以我们可以填写一份表格。 

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Yep, that was it.
是的，就是这样。 

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(Laughter)
 （笑声） 

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So I got the fountain pen,
所以我拿到了钢笔， 

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but I didn't get the sense
of belonging and confidence
但我没有得到归属感和信心

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I was searching for.
我正在寻找。 

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Many years later,
多年以后， 

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I couldn't bear the thought
of my son turning 13
我无法忍受我儿子13岁的想法

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without some kind of rite of passage.
没有某种成人礼。 

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So I came up with the idea
of a 13th birthday trip,
于是我想出了13岁生日的想法， 

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and I offered to take Murphy
anywhere in the world
我愿意把墨菲带到世界的任何地方

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that had meaning for him.
这对他有意义。 

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A budding young naturalist
who loved turtles,
一位热爱海龟的年轻博物学家， 

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he immediately settled on the Galapagos.
他立即在加拉帕戈斯定居。 

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And when my daughter, Katie, turned 13,
当我的女儿凯蒂13岁时， 

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she and I spent two weeks
at the bottom of the Grand Canyon,
她和我在大峡谷底部呆了两周， 

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where Katie learned for the first time
that she was powerful and brave.
凯蒂第一次了解到她强大而勇敢。 

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Since then, my partner, Ashton,
and lots of our friends and relatives
从那时起，我的合伙人阿什顿以及我们的许多亲友

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have taken their kids
on 13th birthday trips,
在13岁生日旅行中带走了他们的孩子， 

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with everyone finding it transformative
for both the child and the parent.
每个人都会发现它对孩子和父母都是具有变革性的。 

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I wasn't brought up saying grace.
我没有被提到说恩典。 

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But for the last 20 years,
但在过去的20年里， 

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we've been holding hands
before every meal.
我们一直在每餐前握手。 

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It's a beautiful bit of shared silence
这是一个美好的共同沉默

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that brings us all together in the moment.
这一切将我们聚集在一起。 

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Ashton tells everyone
to "pass the squeeze,"
阿什顿告诉大家要“通过挤压”， 

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while she assures them it's not religious.
虽然她向他们保证它不是宗教的。 

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(Laughter)
 （笑声） 

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So recently, when my family asked me
最近，当我的家人问我

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if I could please do something
with the more than 250 boxes of stuff
如果我可以请你用超过250箱的东西做点什么

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that I've collected over a lifetime,
我已经收集了一生， 

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my ritual-making impulse kicked in.
我的仪式制造冲动开始了。 

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I started wondering if I could go further
than simple death cleaning.
我开始想知道我能否比简单的死亡清洁更进一步。 

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"Death cleaning" is the Swedish term
for clearing out your closets,
 “清洗死亡”是瑞典清理你的衣橱的术语， 

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your basement and your attic
before you die,
你死前的地下室和阁楼， 

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so your kids don't have to do it later.
所以你的孩子以后不必再做。 

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(Laughter)
 （笑声） 

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I pictured my children
opening up box after box
我画了我的孩子在箱子后打开箱子

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and wondering why I'd kept
any of that stuff.
并想知道为什么我保留了这些东西。 

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(Laughter)
 （笑声） 

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And then I imagined them looking
at a specific picture
然后我想象他们在看一张特定的照片

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of me with a beautiful young woman,
我和一个美丽的年轻女子， 

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and asking, "Who on earth
is that with Dad?"
问道：“爸爸到底是谁？” 

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(Laughter)
 （笑声） 

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And that was the aha moment.
那就是那个时刻。 

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It wasn't the things I'd saved
that were important;
这不是我保存的重要事情; 

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it was the stories that went with them
that gave them meaning.
这是与他们一起给他们带来意义的故事。 

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Could using the objects
to tell the stories
可以使用对象来讲述故事

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be the seed of a new ritual,
成为新仪式的种子， 

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a rite of passage --
not for a 13-year-old,
通过仪式 - 不是一个13岁的人， 

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but for someone much further
down the road?
但对于更远的人来说呢？ 

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So I started experimenting.
所以我开始尝试。 

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I got a few dozen things out of the boxes,
我从盒子里拿了几十件东西， 

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I put them about in a room,
我把它们放在一个房间里， 

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and I invited people to come in
我邀请人们进来

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and ask me about anything
that they found interesting.
并问我他们觉得有趣的事情。 

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The results were terrific.
结果非常好。 

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A good story became a launching pad
for a much deeper discussion,
一个好故事成为了更深入讨论的起点， 

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in which my visitors made
meaningful connections
在这些访问中我的访问者建立了有意义的联系

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to their own lives.
到自己的生活。 

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Derrius [Quarles] asked me
about a Leonard Peltier T-shirt
 Derrius [Quarles]问我一件伦纳德帕尔帖T恤

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that I'd worn a lot in the '80s,
我在80年代穿了很多， 

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that, sadly, is still relevant today.
可悲的是，今天仍然有意义。 

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Our conversation moved quickly,
我们的谈话很快就动

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from a large number of political
prisoners in American jails,
来自美国监狱的大量政治犯， 

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to Derrius wondering about the legacy
让Derrius对遗产感到疑惑

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of the Black Liberation
Movement of the '60s,
 60年代的黑人解放运动， 

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and how his life might be different
if he'd come of age then,
以及如果他成年后的生活可能会有所不同， 

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instead of 30-odd years later.
而不是30多年后。 

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At the end of our conversation,
在我们的谈话结束时， 

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Derrius asked me
if he could have the T-shirt.
德里乌斯问我是否可以穿T恤。 

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And giving it to him felt
just about perfect.
给他的感觉就是完美。 

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As these conversations
established common ground,
由于这些对话建立了共同点， 

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especially across generations,
特别是跨代人， 

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I realized I was opening a space
我意识到我正在打开一个空间

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for people to talk about things
that really mattered to them.
让人们谈论他们真正关心的事情。 

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And I started seeing myself
with a renewed sense of purpose --
我开始重新认识自己， 

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not as the old guy on the way out,
不像出门在外的老家伙， 

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but as someone with a role to play
而是扮演一个角色的人

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going forward.
向前走。 

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When I was growing up,
当我长大的时候， 

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life ended for most people in their 70s.
对于70多岁的大多数人来说，生活已经结束。 

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People are living far longer now,
人们现在活得更久， 

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and for the first time in human history,
并在人类历史上第一次， 

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it's common for four generations
to be living side by side.
四代人共同生活是共同的。 

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I'm 71,
我是71岁， 

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and with a bit of luck,
并有一点运气， 

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I've got 20 or 30 more years ahead of me.
我比我早了20或30年。 

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Giving away my stuff now
现在放弃我的东西

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and sharing it with friends, family,
and I hope strangers, too,
并与朋友，家人分享，我也希望陌生人， 

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seems like the perfect way
to enter this next stage of my life.
似乎是进入我人生下一阶段的完美方式。 

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Turns out to be just
what I was looking for:
结果就是我正在寻找的东西： 

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a ritual that's less about dying
一个不那么快死亡的仪式

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and more about opening the door
更多关于打开门

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to whatever comes next.
接下来会发生什么。 

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Thank you.
谢谢。 

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(Applause)
 （掌声） 

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Onward!
向前！ 

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(Applause)
 （掌声）