Dog Patch Red to Yellow Kid.
Yellow Kid to Dog Patch Red. Go ahead.
Got any more dope on that bogey, or has it turned into another flying saucer?
Bogey is still out of range for your outfit to make intercept. How much fuel have you got left?
About 1-5-0 gallons.
By the way, that bogey may be my operations officer, Major Rexford, coming in from White Horse.
He might have overshot the field in this soup.
No, we've already identified Rexford.
Bogey came into our radar net across Bering Sea from Siberia.
We must assume it is Russian as it does not show I.F.F.
Russian? Are you on the level, or is this a drill?
Yellow Kid to Dog Patch Red. I repeat: Russian.
And this is no drill. You're relieved to refuel.
Keep two squadrons with hot guns on standby alert.
Oh, roger! 1-9-0 to Allison Tower.
This is Allison Tower, 1-Niner-0. Go ahead.
Request landing instructions, 22 jets, 10 miles out.
Allison Tower to 1-Niner-0, you're number one to land.
Runway: 3-2. Wind: Calm. Weather: Closing in fast.
Roger, Allison Tower.
Comin' right in. Red Leader to Flight.
Go into string and take distance for individual landings.
We're goin' in to refuel. Did you hear those instructions, Blue Leader?
Blue Leader to Red Leader. Roger. We'll follow you in.
Hope we meet up with that Russian on the way.
You and me both.
Blue Leader to Red Leader. Look out below. Here we come!
Red Leader to Blue Leader. Come ahead!
Shut the door! Yeah, shut the door.
But the colonel—
I'm sorry, Colonel. That's all right.
We'll be ready for takeoff in 20 minutes.
Afraid that'll be too late. Has that Russian come into range?
There he is, circling north of the base at jet speed.
How do you like that?
A Russian jet.
It's all right, Colonel. We've got your 1-9-7 going up after it.
Rexford? How much fuel did he have left?
Twenty-one minutes. I caught him just as he was coming in to land.
He's crossing the field to go back up on top. Here he comes now.
He's right smack on the bearing.
Yeah, he oughta be on that Russian's tail in no time.
Well, watch out for that Rexford. Don't let him get trigger-happy.
I want that Russian jet down in one piece. You bet.
1- Niner-7 to Yellow Kid. I see your Russian jet.
Yellow Kid to 1-Niner-7. Easy, now. Are you sure it's a Russian?
Sure I'm sure. I wouldn't have said I was sure if I wasn't.
It's a YAK 12, and I've got a perfect bead on him. Shall I slam him,
or should I just saw off one of his wings?
Yellow Kid— If you do, I'll saw off your head!
Yellow Kid to 1-Niner-7, don't open fire unless he tries it on you.
Now, take your time, Major Rexford. Does he see you?
How can he see me? I'm in his blind spot.
Rex, this is Shannon.
Hello, Jim. Wish you were here.
Maybe you think I don't, because I want that Russian jet down here undamaged.
All I want you to do is go up alongside of him and attract his attention.
What if he won't look at me?
Oh, I get this all the time. Then you can fire a warning squirt. But that's all. Savvy?
Aye, savvy.
Hey, you!
Hey, Molotov, or whatever your name is. Okay.
Aw, shucks.
What's the matter? All this guy wants is down.
How do you know? As soon as I fired a little squirt, he dropped his landing gear.
That's fine. Now, will you kindly lead him in?
Okay, Jim.
A woman.
A lady.
A dame.
Anybody around here speak Russian, Sergeant? Nobody except me, maybe.
Maybe? Go ahead and say something.
Is that Russian?
That's Yiddish.
Put that down, Sergeant, and get out of here.
I can handle this, Chief. I've met dames like this before.
You likey soupski?
Soupski. You likey?
As an officer, I'm entitled to certain privileges,
one of which is that I not only be treated respectfully,
but that I be addressed in a language I can understand.
You likey speechski?
I guess that'll hold you. Let's get rid of this parachute.
What air base in Siberia did you take off from, Lieutenant?
I'm not going to answer that. How much fuel did she have left?
The bottom of the tank was still a little damp.
Take your thumb out of that soup, Major.
Sit down, Lieutenant. We can talk while you're eating.
Well, why don't you sit down and eat? Aren't you hungry?
Yes, but not hungry enough to talk against my country.
Look, lady, we were under the impression that you came here to get away from your country.
I came here to prevent myself from getting shot.
Why would they wanna shoot you?
I did something that was wrong. You did?
I can't believe it. What did you do?
- Disobeyed an order of my commanding officer. - What kind of an order?
It was in regard to tactics, so I naturally can't explain it.
That sounds reasonable.
Who asked you? Hello?
Oh, put him through. Palmer Field. General Black.
Hello. Hello, General. Yes.
The plane looks like a Soviet version of our T-33.
She's right here in my office. I can't tell you exactly what I think of it.
But either she or that jet must be pretty good to get this far.
Sir? Well, no, she isn't very talkative.
All I've been able to get out of her is some baloney about why she flew the coup.
What is that— baloney? Yes, sir.
Sausage.
I was thinking of having Rexford fly her down in the C-47.
But I said nothing about sausage. No, sir.
Nobody did. But he's one of those men who suspects everything he can't understand.
Oh. Yes, sir.
Good-bye, sir.
Why don't you believe me?
Your story's too simple for a Russian,
too smart and too straight.
I have a feeling you don't like Russians.
Well, I don't know.
I met lots of 'em in Germany.
Got drunk with 'em.
I sang their songs, and they sang mine.
It was a beautiful friendship that gradually ripened...
into complete apathy, baby.
But why?
Say, where have you been all this time? Russia.
That explains it.
Well, let's see.
Kindly lay out any articles you may have in your possession.
What's that?
My cigarettes and lighter.
Finally made one that'll work. Anything else?
Only this.
Is that all? Yes.
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to search you.
I expected that. Go ahead.
It'll be a lot easier if you'll take that stuff off.
A little heavier than ours.
Hold it!
This way.
Come on.
Take the rest of your things off in here.
Thank you.
- I see you have hot water. - Help yourself.
- Are you serious? - Sure. Go ahead.
May I use the soap too?
Also the towel.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
All set? Be ready to go in half an hour.
Say, what's goin' on in there? Sounds like she's taking a shower.
Well, how do you like that? Not so loud. I don't want her to know you're here.
Why not? Well, I think she's gonna pull something.
Huh? I may be wrong, but—
What's the matter?
The water's so hot!
Well, why don't you turn on the cold faucet? Where is it?
Right next to the other one. Can't you see it? No.
Why not? What's the matter with your eyes?
They got soap in them. Uh-oh.
Well, I'll fix that. Come on over to the door.
Here I am. Now put your hand on the knob.
All right. Now reach right above it.
That's a towel rack. There's a towel on it.
Oh, thank you! Oh.
Looks like I'm gonna have a very interesting trip.
Oh, no, you're not.
Sergeant? See that Captain Carison has my gear packed.
Where are you going? I think I'd better take her down to Palmer Field myself.
But you told the general I was gonna do it. I think I'd better.
Who's gonna look after the outfit? You're second in command.
But you were right in the middle of those night interception tests.
I said you were second in command. Besides, you're a married man. What's that got to do with it?
I don't want you exposed to temptation. Now wait a minute. Maybe you got her all wrong.
She really might've gotten soap in her eyes. It's happened to me lots of times.
I know. That's why I'm gonna take her.
I hope you don't mind, gentlemen, but it's much too cold in there.
Make yourself at home.
It's so nice and warm in here.
Wonder what I did with the lady's lighter.
Did you see it? I didn't know she had one. What'd you do with it?
Well, if I knew, I wouldn't ask you.
It isn't possible you were thinking of something else.
This is just a shot in the dark,
but her eyes don't look like they had soap in 'em.
This might be some new form of Russian propaganda.
Maybe they are actually trying to make friends and influence people.
Could be.
I wonder if you fully understand your position, Lieutenant.
- As a refugee? - You came here to avoid being shot.
That is correct.
You want us to give you sanctuary, yet you don't wanna do anything in return.
I'm not going to tell you anything that will hurt my country. I'm a refugee, not a traitor.
In other words, you want something for nothing.
Your precious freedom— it has to be bought?
Why not? We paid a high price for it.
And it's getting scarcer in the worid all the time.
Exactly. What kind of people do you think we are?
You're trying to confuse me. I won't tell you anything, I don't care what you say.
I can't get used to women soldiers.
I don't like the idea of putting pressure on a girl like you.
Pressure?
I didn't know they did things like that in the United States.
What things? Pressure means torture, doesn't it?
I didn't hear the general say anything about torture. Did you, Rivers?
I didn't even hear the general say anything about pressure.
Did you, Major? I didn't hear the general say anything.
You gentlemen are making me feel very much at home.
That's just the way we want you to feel, Lieutenant.
You're a soldier. Would you have any respect for me...
if I told you what you wanted to know about the Russian Air Force?
Don't you think I have a sense of honor?
- Are you referring to your honor as a Soviet soldier? - What else do you think I'm talking about?
What's so funny about that?
It's very refreshing to hear a commie talk about honor.
I honor my country above everything.
Does that mean you can have no honor, no love, no respect for anything else?
Precisely. Not even for yourself?
With us, the state is everything. The individual has no right to even think of himself.
Well, if we respected your feelings in this manner, you'd have no respect for us.
Why not?
You'd think it was a good joke.
Sure, Americans are so simple about this freedom thing.
They don't seem to realize they're cooking the calf in the milk of its own mother.
Isn't that, uh, true?
I've never even thought about it in that light.
I think you should.
Come in, Captain.
In fact, I'd advise you to give it very careful thought.
I will think about that too.
Shannon, you certainly gave her the works.
Yes, sir. If anybody's gonna get anything out of this girl, it'll be Shannon.
Me? The most perfect case of ambivalence I ever saw.
Case of what? Ambivalence?
Double values.
They both like and hate each other.
They don't know which feeling to follow. Wonderful confusion.
Perfect sex antagonism. This proves it.
Proves what? Yeah, proves what?
Look at the doodle she made. Did you make a pass at her when you brought her down in the C-47?
I did not! Let me look at that. You mean these doodles would show it?
I don't know.
You'd get practically the same effect if he didn't.
That's just the way it was! I didn't! Now, Jim—
And speaking of passes, sir, she threw one at me...
right in my office almost before her hands got warm.
What? Then she tried it again in the shower.
Shower? What shower?
I got one in the office. Oh, well.
What is she doing in a shower? Well, after she undressed—
in the bathroom, gentlemen.
It's all in my notes, General. I had to search her, didn't I?
Yes, but you didn't say anything about this shower business.
She asked me if she could take one. What else could I do?
General, I think we can spare Colonel Shannon any further details.
The overall picture seems to be sufficiently corroborated.
I think we'd be fully justified in exploiting it.
Listen, General— Don't look at me. They're absolutely right.
- You were made for this job. - General Black, I'm a jet man, not a gigolo.
How about that job you did for us with that German Frau?
That was an accident, not in the line of duty. Well, this is.
I'm putting you in full charge and holding you completely responsible.
But— I don't want this angle to get into the records.
So I'll leave it to you to inform your people and the F.B.I. You do the same with the C.I.A.
Yes, sir. But, General—
The newspapers don't know a thing about this girl, so watch yourself.
Washington wants to keep it this way. Savvy?
- General, let's don't change the subject. - Colonel Shannon?
I can take a hint. About face! Forward march.
Where ya been? You're a day late.
Ran into some bad weather in Edmonton, but we're all present and accounted for.
You're still in charge. What's the matter?
Well, they couldn't get any more out of her nibs than we did, so they tossed her back in my lap.
You better give the group a couple of days rest.
Serves you right for not letting me bring her down.
I wish I had.
Look, I'm gonna have to put on an act for her,
so after we pull out, you tell that Waf captain not to take it too seriously.
Never mind. I'll tell her myself.
You remember Major Rexford. Oh, yes. How do you do?
Colonel Shannon tells me you two are going up for a flight.
I still can't believe it. You're not serious?
Why not?
You mean I'm not going to be confined?
From now on, you're a guest of the air force.
You may go where you want and see what you like.
I was instructed to give you the same treatment and hospitality...
that was given to those other two Russian fliers,
one of whom has already returned to Russia.
How do you like that?
Well, it's very simple. He probably became homesick.
Do you stuff birds too?
Captain.
What does he mean, do I stuff birds too?
Nothing. His father was a taxidermist.
Oh. Lieutenant?
If you please.
What's this all about, Major? I can't make head or tail of it.
You don't know what's behind it all?
Mind your own business.
There's your tailpipe heat, your fuel pressure gauge.
Here's your tachometer.
I thought this was it. Oh, that's right.
On this type, it's on the other side.
You better have a little respect for that red handle...
unless you wanna be 75 feet in the air without a plane.
Oh. The seat ejector. So your father was a bird stuffer.
Is that why you took up flying?
You're pretty well-stuffed yourself.
"S" For Shannon calling "A" For Anna.
This is "A" For Anna. Go ahead.
Meet you over the field at 30,000.
All right. But why didn't you tell me you were going to pull up like that?
I didn't think you could make it.
"S" For Shannon calling "A" For Anna.
- Go ahead. - Where are you?
- Can't you see me? - No!
- I'm very close to you. - How close?
Well, if these guns were loaded, you'd be minus your rudder and one wing.
Say, where are you?
Right underneath you.
Underneath me? I don't believe it. Why don't you take a look.
Hello.
Not bad. I have now shot away your other wing.
I'll never hear the last of this.
Lady, you sure are the Peruvian doughnuts! I wouldn't mind having you for a wingman.
I was just thinking the same thing about you.
Let's see if you're as good in a tight turn. That's my specialty.
You're fabulous. That's the tightest turn I've ever seen.
But I'll get inside of you just the same. How?
You can't tighten it much more without going into a spin yourself.
Maybe, but I'm figuring you'll do it first.
Maybe.
You see what I mean?
Now the gun's on the other shoulder.
It's much worse than that. What's wrong?
How far are we from the field? Why?
- I've got a flameout. - A flameout? Cut your throttle.
What's the procedure for a restart? Slow down to 200.
Right. Now start to glide, and don't touch anything till we get down to 15,000.
Right. Hello, Palmer Tower. This is Colonel Shannon.
Emergency. Stand by for a dead-stick landing of an F-86 on the long runway.
Roger, Colonel Shannon. Crash circuit.
Emergency landing, F-86. Dead stick. Runway 6.
Emergency landing, F-86.
Dead stick. Runway 6.
Emergency landing, F-86. Dead stick. Runway 6.
What's the course to the field? Straight ahead.
But I don't think there's a chance for a dead-stick from here.
You can't restart your engine, you'll have to bail out.
Bail out? With the seat ejector?
Have you ever tried it? Not in these trousers.
They say it's pure rugged, so you'd better try to get an air start.
I'm unlucky. I've never been able to get one yet.
Now, just take it easy. You've only enough juice in that battery for one stab at it.
Is your compressor turning over?
Yes. It's windmilling about 17%. That's fine.
We're almost down to 15,000.
Have you got your emergency fuel switch on? Yes.
Now turn on your ignition boost and crack your throttle.
What next? Say a prayer.
I don't believe in that nonsense.
Then you'd better quit flying jets. Why?
Never mind. I'll say one for you.
Maybe you should say another one. Why?
The temperature's beginning to rise in my tailpipe.
You probably only have two burners going. Open your throttle another crack.
They're all burning now. Should I try full power? Go ahead.
You're all right. Pour on the coal and head for home!
Hey, that turn of yours— I wish you'd show me how to do it.
You can show me a few things too.
I don't think so. You're the best I ever saw.
Then how come you got underneath me? Just a trick.
How'd you do it?
I'll tell you if you'll show me how to do that tight turn. I can't.
Why not? It was revealed to me in a dream.
Oh.
The way she flies that F-86, the Soviets must have an equivalent type.
She sure is fully operational with it.
I don't think their battery system or burners are as good as ours. Why?
When she had the flameout, she said she'd never been able to relight one.
But they have some tactics we oughta study.
You mean the way she gets inside of you on that loop? Couldn't get rid of her.
She must be pretty good. Only thing I could beat her at was a tight turn.
If we'd have been using bullets instead of film,
I'd have been cold meat long before that.
Well, that's fine, Jim.
What are you gonna try her on next?
She seems to be interested in our night interceptions.
Think we oughta give her a whirl at it?
I don't see why not.
Washington wants us to find out what interests her most,
which, by all processes of deduction, should give them some idea...
of the things the Russians haven't got.
- Go ahead. - That means she'll get a peek at some of our new stuff.
We'll bring out an old night fighter from Dayton.
We'll also set up our old method of interception.
Then all she'll get out of it's a ride. How are you progressing on the sentimental side?
I'm not rushing it, Rivers. Why not, Colonel?
She hasn't given me a chance, Major.
Maybe I was imagining things up in Alaska.
Shannon to Pilot. Push in the channel "C" button.
That'll put us on fighter control frequency.
Hello, Red Dog. Shannon here. I'm airborne.
Broken clouds and a full moon. Request instructions. Over.
Red Dog to Shannon. We have you.
Our B-36 is turning inland.
It's taking up a heading of 0-9-0.
How far out is she? I'd say about 140 miles.
B-36 track, she's moved to...
Baker-Queen-1-0-8-4.
Red Dog to Shannon. Climb to Ángel-3-0 and orbit. Location: Four. Hit the gate!
Shannon to Red Dog. Roger.
Shannon to Pilot. Steer 260 degrees and climb to 30,000 feet.
Use full power.
I wanna ask you something first. Go ahead.
Is this a collision course I'm flying?
Yes. Haven't you ever flown one? Yes.
But for a dry run in stuff like this, well, at jet speed, I think it's too dangerous.
Get on course. Let the fighter control do the worrying.
Why should they worry, sitting on the ground?
If you've got cold feet, I'll be glad to take over the controls.
No, thanks. I'll feel safer doing it myself.
Then get on the course and get off the air. I'm on it.
It's okay now. Yeah, he's right on the button.
We'd better warn Shannon.
He should pick it up on his scope pretty quick.
In exactly 35 seconds.
Red Dog to Shannon. Go ahead, Red Dog.
Watch your scope very closely now.
You should be able to blossom any second.
Shannon to Red Dog. Okay.
Hello, Red Dog. Shannon here.
Target contacted.
Ah! Only a fifth of a second off.
I'll have to give you some homework.
Roger, Shannon. Understand you have target.
It's all yours. Red Dog listening. Out.
Shannon to Pilot. We're on our own now.
The B-36 is a little to our left about seven miles ahead of us.
Turn left 10 degrees. Range: Six and a half miles.
Increase speed 3-0 miles.
Right.
Now, watch your scope and tell me when you see a pip on it. That is your target.
I see one.
No—Yes, yes, I see it!
Now center it on your crosshairs and hold it there.
When the image spreads to those other lines, you're in range to shoot.
The image has now reached the outer lines. How should I attack? Astern?
No, no. From astern, they'd shoot you down. Pull up parallel.
Hey, Paul, take a look at this, will you?
I think 4-7-9's getting a little too close for comfort.
Yeah! Red Dog to Shannon.
What are you doing? You're supposed to intercept, not coincide.
Drop your dive brakes. You're right on top of it!
I saw it. Then why don't you break it off?
Well, why should I? I was watching it on my scope.
The pips have coincided. I hope they haven't.
Boy, if they haven't, they must be riding piggyback.
Now look. They're separated again.
I hope those aren't just pieces of them. No, they'd be off there by now.
Hello, Red Dog. Shannon here.
I'm sitting on the wing off that B-36. Any further instructions?
Red Dog to Shannon. Brother, you had us sittin' on something too.
Steer 2-3-0 degrees for base. Listening out.
Ah, roger.
Shannon to Target. Good night, mama.
You look pretty good in there.
Good night, baby. You did quite a bit of lookin' yourself.
How do you like it? Like what?
Our night interception routine. Oh, you Americans.
What's the matter with us?
You are utterly antagonistic to any form of regimentation on the ground,
but in the air, you accept it in the most abject manner.
Well, you've got to admit it works pretty good.
Well, that's what puzzles me. I can't understand it.
What'll you give me if I tell ya?
Give you? What do you want?
Is this too much?
That's a habit with you. What?
Trying to get something for nothing.
I believe in looking at merchandise before I pay for it.
So do I. I'd really like to know about these maneuvers.
These, or those?
Those.
Well, I warn ya, I won't come through unless you improve on that last sample.
Very well.
How was that? Very much better.
Why? It was a perfect example of teamwork.
Just apply it to that interception routine, and you've got the answer.
Teamwork?
Everybody works together.
Like the first time I kissed ya, you didn't do your part.
So we didn't get anywhere. In other words,
you believe the individual must sacrifice his personal feelings...
and work with somebody else for the benefit of the whole enterprise?
That's right. Mass production. I see.
The idea's purely capitalistic.
No wonder every loyal Russian instinctively rejects it.
I give up. Come on.
Get in, you silly Siberian cupcake.
Cupcake? What does that mean?
If the P.X. Is still open, I'll buy you a couple.
First, it's baloney. Then it's stuffed birds.
And now, it's cupcake.
Why are you letting down?
Well, Washington said you could go where you want and see what you like.
And this, I think, you'll like.
Hello, Palm Springs Tower. This is Air Force Jet 1-9-0.
This is Palm Springs Tower. Go ahead, 1-Niner-0.
Ten miles west. Request landing instructions for two F-86's.
Roger, 1-Niner-0. Runway 2-4.
Wind: Northwest 1-4.
Altimeter: Two-niner-niner-seven. Call on initial.
Ah, roger.
Hey, what was that?
I'll show you sometime.
Capitalism has certain dangerous advantages.
That's one thing we have in common with the Soviet. What's that?
We both believe in uplifting the, uh, masses.
Yes, but that's not true in all instances. Of course.
There are some who don't require.
So that's the shape you're in. Freddie!
Was he making fun of me? On the contrary.
He was paying you the highest compliment in his power.
You mean, he liked me?
That's strange. By Russian standards of beauty,
I'm considered only fair.
They prefer a more robust type. Mm-hmm.
The more, the merrier.
Then you agree with my countrymen?
No, I can't say that I do.
I'm very much interested in your point of view, so please, be frank.
Tell me exactly what you think. I can't.
Why not? I haven't sufficient flow of speech.
Well, that sounds very nice.
Is it?
Well, it's, uh, the best I can do at the moment.
In other words, I'm attractive to you...
in every way except politically?
That's about it. I hate your insides, and vice versa.
Which is more important to you? It's a toss-up.
Can't make up my mind.
I'm sorry to hear that. Why?
'Cause I feel exactly the same way about you.
You do? That's why I spoke to you about it.
Have you any solution? The more I think about it, the worse it gets.
I have the same trouble. One minute I wanna kill you,
and the next minute I want to kiss you and...
kiss you and... kiss you.
Same here. What are we gonna do about it?
I don't know. I've never met anyone before...
who aroused and revolted me in the same proportion.
I'm very confused. Something else I can do for you?
Maybe you could advise us. What would you do if you knew a man—
Try this on, Lieutenant.
What is the price of this coverall and golden heliotrope?
This hat is perfectly silly, and I adore it.
I wish you'd have bought the red one. I liked it better.
I like this one. Well, you're wearing it too far back on your head.
That's the way I like it. Which one is my bedroom?
Take your pick.
They're both exactly the same. I like this one.
But, uh— But what?
Who's gonna use this room?
Both of us.
Really?
Accommodations in Palm Springs are very scarce.
This is all they had. Anyway, I'm responsible for you.
Well, naturally, but I was thinking about the waste.
What waste? All this lovely space.
In Russia, they'd put at least three families in it.
Four by dividing the room with a curtain. Two on that side, two on this side.
Well, why don't you build more houses?
Jets and bombers are more important just now.
I agree with you. You do?
What's the use of building houses if somebody's gonna blow 'em off the map? Of course.
We go right on spending billions for housing, and only millions for planes.
- It's awful. - I think you're absolutely right.
But, uh—
But—
But what?
You realize that you and I are of the same mind about this matter?
Say, that's right.
What's got into us?
Shannon!
Oh, it's you. What are you trying to do, break down the door?
Well, I didn't think you were in. Well, then what'd you knock for?
Well, l— Oh, hello, Georgie.
Jim. How be ya? Fine. Uh—
Anna, this is Major Rexford's wife, Georgie.
What are you doin' here? You told me to give the boys a couple of days off, didn't you?
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
What's that? That smile of yours. Where have you been keeping it?
I'm happy tonight.
Why don't you look where you're going? I haven't got eyes on the back of my head.
Major Rexford and his wife dance very well together, don't they?
I wish I could say the same for us.
What am I doing that's wrong? You're holding me too tight.
Too tight? I can hardly breathe.
You're not serious? I was never more serious in my life.
Is that better? What do you think?
I think it's divine.
What's your first name?
Jim.
Jim and Anna.
Anna and Jim.
Are you married?
That's good.
Are you?
Ever been in love?
Not in your sense of the word.
Oh.
So you feel about love...
the same way you feel about religion?
That's right. Both are dangerous narcotics.
They make individuals forget their duty to the state.
How's that?
Well, under the influence of love or religion,
individuals are unable to sacrifice one another for the national good.
Now, isn't that just too bad?
Why?
You were made for it.
- Made for what? - Love.
I don't see the connection.
Why do you suppose you're so beautiful?
Purely a biological fallacy which makes our necessities appear pleasurable to us,
like eating, drinking—
Then you do admit that love is a necessity.
I admit that passion is.
What's the difference?
Well, it's pretty hard to explain.
Why?
I haven't sufficient flow of speech.
Have you had many of them?
Many what?
Women?
Well, I don't know.
These giris, were they as beautiful to you as I am?
No.
Not one?
Not lately.
Are you sure? Sure, I'm sure.
What about you?
I'm not ignorant of passion, but I've never had such a feeling for a man before.
I've never been so stirred by a kiss. I can't even stop thinking about it.
You're not the only one.
We, uh, can't do it here, of course.
No. But it won't hurt to talk about it.
No. It's almost as nice.
Well, go ahead.
Do you close your eyes when you do it?
Don't you?
Well, you know what it means when you don't?
You're thinking of someone else.
What kind do you like best?
The slow, sweet ones like this?
Have you ever smelled anything more divine?
Well, we're gonna have one just like it in a few minutes.
Isn't this it? You mean they have more than one like this? Sure.
That's all they serve here.
Oh, dear. What's the matter?
We're lost. Who's lost?
How can Russia compete with such propaganda?
Good night. I had such a lovely time. So did we.
See you tomorrow, Rex. Oh, no, you won't.
Why not? We've gotta drive back to the field.
What's the rush? We couldn't find a room.
The town's jammed. Oh, that's too bad.
What about our sitting room? Well, what about it?
Why couldn't they use that? Oh, we wouldn't wanna bother you.
I should say not. Bother? Why would it bother us? The room is empty.
And the couch is one of those wonderful American inventions that can be turned into a bed.
Isn't it, Jim? Yeah. Come on.
Sorry, folks. We haven't got a thing. All filled up. Not a place I could put you.
Well, looks like we have to go back to L.A.
But, honey, I'm just dead. Let's try someplace else, huh?
This is Major Rexford and his wife. They're gonna use my sitting room tonight.
Care to register, Major? With pleasure.
What's your name? Oh. Mary Lou Simpson.
Are you married? Why, yes!
Jim? Jim, this is Mr. And Mrs. Simpson.
How do you do? They can use my room.
Huh? Go on and register.
Well, wait a minute. Where are you gonna sleep?
Well, there are two beds in your room, aren't there? Yes, but—
You can't sleep in both of them. Well, I know, but—
Don't worry. I'm used to it. Nobody in Russia has any privacy. But how are you gonna—
It's very simple. I merely undress in the bathroom.
Haven't you got that bed fixed yet?
Look, honey. This is the swellest nightgown I've ever seen.
Just as light as a spider's web.
Jim picked it out for me. Honey, the colonel picked it out for her.
Well, what are you looking at me for?
She asked me which one I felt was the nicest, and I told her. That's all.
Jim, I understand perfectly. So do I.
I do too. Well, who asked you? Let's get this thing fixed.
That's easy. I've handled beds like this before.
Here we go again.
Hello? Who is this?
Oh, hello, General. Yes, she's here.
What did you say, sir?
Yes, sir. I understand.
It's, uh, five after 3:00. We'll leave right away.
Yes, sir. Good-bye, sir.
Looks like you're gonna have a bedroom to yourself after all. Well, what happened?
I gotta take Anna back to Palmer Field. Something wrong?
I'll say. They're gonna deport her.
"A" For Anna calling "S" For Shannon.
Go ahead, Anna.
I guess this is the last time we'll be flying together.
I was just thinking the same thing.
I thought Palmer Field was that way.
It still is. Then why did you change your course?
I think you'd be better off if we go this way.
What are you going to do? I'm not gonna talk about it on the air.
I thought Palm Springs was hot, but this place is simply fantastic.
Yuma's always like this. It won't be bad after the air conditioning gets to work.
You think that clerk'll be able to locate the justice of peace?
Sure. The judge gives 24-hour service.
So does the license clerk. You folks are as good as married right now.
Here ya are. That's all right, sir. I'm an old air-force man myself.
Is that why you brought me here? To get married?
Well, they can't deport the wife of an American citizen.
But you'll get into trouble if you marry me.
Sure, I will.
Plenty of trouble.
Wait'll I take a shower, Jim. I'm soaking wet.
So am I.
What will they do to you? I don't know.
Probably kick me out of the service. Is that all?
Isn't that enough?
You love your air force a great deal, don't you, Jim?
Well, I've been in it quite a while, you know.
Then why are you doing this? Wouldn't you do the same for me?
No. You wouldn't?
Of course not.
Was that better? You're still going too high.
Watch this.
I see.
How was that?
Well, now you got it!
Hello, Palmer Tower, this is 1-9-0 on base leg.
Gear down and in the green.
Roger, 1-Niner-0. This is Palmer Tower.
You are number one to land. I have a message for you.
Go ahead.
General Black requests that you report to his office at once.
Ah, roger.
Yesterday morning at 3:00, I told you to start back here immediately! Yes, sir.
You're just about 30 hours overdue. Yes, sir.
Where have you been all this time? I've been looking all over the country for you!
Yuma, sir. Yuma? What did you go there for?
To get married. Married?
You married that Russian girl? That's right.
You married that girl after I told you she was gonna be deported?
Yes, sir. That's why I did it.
Will that make any difference? Not after two or three years of red tape.
An alien cannot be deported if it works a hardship on an American citizen.
Jim Shannon, do you realize you've cooked your whole career just to get this girl out of a jam?
Yes, sir, I thought about that. I've been thinking a lot about it.
Apparently, you're in love with her.
What else does it look like?
Well, I'm sorry, Jim, very sorry,
but I think I've got a pretty fast cure for it.
Cure? I don't know that I wanna be cured.
As your wife, she can't be deported for some time.
That part you've accomplished. But that's only peanuts.
Now I'll tell you the real jam you're in. You're married to a Soviet agent.
Yes, sir, one of their best. What?
I understand she drove the British Intelligence absolutely nuts.
Mister, you'll have to prove this to me.
That I think I can do.
Hello? Hello.
I'm calling Alhambra-93434.
I'm sorry. This is Alhambra-92424.
You have the wrong number. That's their recognition signal.
This is Olga.
When did you arrive?
Jim.
Was it bad?
Yeah. Was it worse than you thought?
Yeah. What are they going to do to you?
I don't know yet.
They haven't decided.
Well, that's terrible. I know what it is to wait.
Hello? Hello.
I'm calling Alhambra-93434. I'm sorry.
This is Alhambra-92424.
You have the wrong number. This is Olga.
When did you arrive? On the morning of the 11th.
How much fuel did you have left? Practically none.
Haven't you anything more to tell me? Yes, but I have no time now.
Where are you talking from?
A pay telephone in the ladies’ room of a nightclub in Palm Springs.
I will mail the rest of my report. Good-bye.
Hello, Olga.
Will you listen to me a minute, Jim? What for?
Jim!
Jim. Jim and Anna.
Anna and Jim.
What are you going to do to me? I don't know.
Things are flying around in my head like feathers in a bag.
Are you going to kill me? I don't know.
Whatever happens, I wish you'd remember one thing. What's that?
I've hated myself for doing this to you. You mean you hated being a spy?
I'm not ashamed of that. Then what are you talkin' about?
Marrying you. I tried to keep you from doing it.
Is that all that's worrying you? Yes.
Well, I got somethin' that's bothering me a lot more.
What is it?
I'm still in love with you.
Oh, Jim.
Then this hasn't changed everything.
Afraid it hasn't changed anything.
Oh, Jim.
You're divine.
Oh, why didn't you think of this before?
I've been a little busy the last few days.
Let's catch another drink. By all means.
Shall we eat something? Why, are you hungry?
Not particularly. But I always heard that condemned criminals...
eat a hearty meal the night before they're hanged.
Yeah, but there's no bar at the jail.
If they could have all they want to drink, I'll bet they wouldn't worry much about the food.
What'll we have? Go for some more champagne?
Mmm! Like we did last night? Yeah.
That was fabulous.
But I had the most terrible dream. You did?
I dreamt I lost my beautiful—
Hello, Charlie. Haven't seen you for a week or two, Colonel.
Where have you been? We've been doing our drinking at home.
Two Tom Collins. And instead of club soda, make it champagne.
Oh, no wonder you stayed home.
That was no dream.
It wasn't?
Didn't I have it on when I woke up?
When I came to, all you had on was... my bathrobe.
Oh, yes.
I put that on for the milkman.
Now, let's see.
When was the last time I wore it?
I seem to remember taking it out of a hatbox.
Say, that was in Yuma.
Mmm, Yuma.
I know where it is.
Where are you going?
I washed it when we got back here, and it's been hanging out on the line ever since...
along with the rest of my nice underwear.
Oh, if anybody's taken it— Don't worry. Nobody's gonna bother it.
Are you sure? Of course I'm sure.
And what's the difference? I can always buy you another one.
Mmm.
Not like this one.
Does it mean that much to you?
Hello, Jim. Oh.
Well, everything seems to be okay with you two. How can you tell?
The light in the lady's eyes. The light that was never seen on land or sea.
When did you get back? Just a little while ago.
You're wanted on the phone.
Honest? Just heard 'em paging you in the lounge.
I'll be right back. Will you stay with Anna?
Certainly.
Please hurry.
Do you have a call for me, Henry? Yes, sir.
You can take it in the office.
Well, Jim. General.
We got our okay from Washington. Swell.
But I don't like this business. I never have. Why?
I don't want you to stick your neck in a noose.
Oh, I'll be all right. I don't see how anything can go wrong the way we've got things worked out.
Maybe.
But I want you to know, if you have any doubts, it isn't too late to say so.
Do you understand? That's why I didn't bring Rivers and Sinclair along.
You can back out right now. I'll take the bump. Be glad to.
Thanks, General, but I wouldn't miss this for anything.
No kidding. So long, sir.
Thanks, Rex. Oh, you don't have to thank me.
I don't mind babysitting this kind of a baby.
Any news?
Yeah.
See ya later. Okay.
Is this it?
Have they finally decided what they're going to do to us?
Yes. What about you?
They're gonna let me off with a reprimand.
Is that all? Oh, that's fantastic.
They don't suspect you of any complicity?
Why should they?
This is really an amazing country.
Do you know what they'd do to you in Russia?
They'd either shoot you or send you to the uranium mines.
Oh, Jim, I'm so happy for you.
All right. Tell me.
As good as it is for me, it's that bad for you.
Go on.
Looks like 15 years in the penitentiary...
the way they're tightening up on you commies.
Five years. That's the worst they can do to me, and a $10,000 fine.
Put 10 years on top of that for transmitting stolen information...
and another $10,000 fine.
Why? Well, they got that report you tried to send out.
Fifteen years?
I'll be an old woman by the time I get out.
What about us? Where will you be?
I was thinking the same thing.
I've never had too much fear of death,
but somehow this seems more frightening.
Fifteen years!
I wouldn't expect you to wait that long.
It wouldn't do any good if I did.
They'll deport you when you've done your time.
When are they going to arrest me? I don't know.
Maybe not till after the dance. It usually breaks up around 2:00 or 3:00.
Five hours.
That's a long time.
You gonna try and make a break for it? Do you think there's a chance?
Well, there's only two of those men from the F.B.I.
One of ‘em’s probably out in front, and one out in back.
Now, the ladies' room is on the east side.
If you were to drop out a window— It's no use.
I couldn't get out of this field. It's too well-guarded. How do you know?
I tried it night before last after you were asleep.
Well, how'd you get by those F.B.I. Men that were planted around our house?
I've had a lot of experience in that sort of work.
And the only way you can get out of this field is to have a gate pass.
I'm thinking of an easier way.
What's that? I could take you out by plane.
Are you insane? Haven't I got you in enough trouble?
I won't get in any trouble over this. Why not?
If we leave now, we'll probably be in Siberia before this dance breaks up.
Siberia?
Let's go on in and finish our drinks.
First call for French 75's I've had in a long time.
They're all right if you like a direct hit.
Well, here's one for the road.
Are you serious?
What else could I do?
I don't think I'd be very happy without you.
They have anything like this in Russia?
We can get the champagne. I don't know about the gin.
I can make 'em with vodka.
- Are they as good? - All right if you don't mind the Russian breath.
What's that?
Knocks everything over within 15 feet.
Where ya been? I went back to the house.
Back to the house? What for?
You think I'm gonna go back to Russia without that nightgown?
Oh!
Well, he's off.
Godspeed. Amen.
What is it, Sergeant? Oh, sir. I'm worried about this F-94.
Number 479. It took off from here about a half hour ago. Colonel Shannon? What about him?
Well, it looks like he's heading for Siberia instead of Palmer Field.
Siberia?
Hello, Air Force Jet 479. This is Fighter Control.
Fighter Control calling Colonel Shannon in 479.
This is Colonel Shannon in 479. Go ahead, Freddie.
Colonel Shannon, do you know where you're going?
According to our radar, you're headed west over the Bering Sea.
Yes, I know where I'm going.
So long, Freddie.
He says he knows where he's going.
Did you hear that, Anna?
Looks like the soup has hit the fan.
I'm surprised we got this far before they found out.
Every jet outfit in Alaska is probably scrambling to head us off.
They'll never catch us. I'm more afraid of our jets. Why?
You better stop dropping down a little. What for?
At this altitude, you'll be showing up on the Soviet radar net in less than five minutes.
What about it? Your radio transmitter's on the wrong frequency.
So I can't identify myself if they intercept us.
They won't shoot if we lower our landing gear. Oh, yes, they will.
Okay, I'll go down on the deck.
I have one of my own.
What am I saying? Refusing an American cigarette.
Why did you let him destroy that plane?
If he hadn't, our fighter and the flak would. Why didn't you shoot our fighter down?
I told Shannon to, but he said he didn't come over here to start a war.
War? What war? That's idiotic.
Why didn't you shoot Shannon? I didn't have anything to shoot him with.
Nonsense. You have been taught to kill without weapons.
I thought of that. Then why didn't you do it?
I couldn't make up my mind at the moment which was the most valuable to us—
the plane or my husband.
Is that why you decided in his favor?
No. He's one of the best jet men in the United States.
You couldn't ask for a better encyclopedia.
And you're one of the best in this country,
and I cannot believe the Americans got much information out of you.
Of course not. But this is different.
- Why? - The man's in love with me.
There's nothing he wouldn't do for me.
You believe he's completely under your domination?
Haven't I proved that?
Vassily, I am glad to see you again.
This is my husband, Colonel Shannon,
late of the United States Air Force.
Colonel Shannon, it's a rare privilege to welcome an American Air Force officer to the Soviet Union, however late.
You're the first, but I hope you will not be the last.
I hope so too.
And I salute your courage... and your judgment.
It's quite a story. Would you like to hear it?
No, no, I've heard all about it.
My interest in you is going to be purely technical.
You've had a long day's travel. You must be a little tired.
I haven't been getting much rest lately.
Show this gentleman to his quarters.
I'll call on you tomorrow around 10:00.
Okay, sir.
Well, go ahead. After you, sir.
Go on! You go first.
We insist. What's the matter with these guys?
Well, they were told to follow us. How can they follow us if you tell them to go ahead?
Oh.
Pardon me.
Why are they following us? I'm afraid your movements here will be more or less restricted.
Maria. Olga.
Who was that? Don't you remember that famous woman sniper?
The one who killed over a hundred Germans? That's her.
Well, is that the way you reward your heroes?
Well, the trip she made to the States had rather a strange affect on her. It did?
When she came back, she started shooting at Russians.
Right in there, sir. The door is unlocked.
Not quite as nice as your place in Palmer Field.
Palmer Field.
Are you sorry you left it?
Would it do any good if I were?
No. Why worry about it? Come on.
My quarters are over there. Your quarters?
I received very definite orders to that effect before I left Moscow.
What's wrong? You're my wife, aren't you? Yes, but orders are orders.
What are they up to? Are they trying to put pressure on me?
Well, you haven't been too cooperative.
I've been talking my head off. That's true.
But so far, you haven't told us anything we don't know. Well, it's not my fault.
There's a lot of stuff I seem to have forgotten.
I can't make it out.
I usually have a pretty good memory.
I may see you tomorrow. Well, wait a minute.
Why? This is all so sudden. I'm gonna miss you.
Don't worry. You'll have a batman to look after you.
A batman? What do I want with a batman?
He'll come in and he'll cook for you and clean up, do your laundry and so forth.
And so forth? Shall I let him wash that nightie of yours?
Did I put that in your suitcase? Oh, don't let the batman touch it.
Please hide it somewhere for me. Hide it?
He'll steal it. A nightgown?
You can't buy anything like that in the Soviet. I wouldn't lose it for anything.
I'm not even going to wear it anymore. I don't blame you.
I'll bring it over to you after dinner.
You'd better not.
You mean I can't come and see you if I want to?
Not unless I receive orders to that effect. And you can't come and see me?
No. I won't stand for it.
I don't know what else you can do.
I'll complain to Washington.
Well, it looks like Shannon still has everything under control.
Did you hear from the State Department?
The Russian government says they have no record...
of a Colonel James Shannon being found in Siberia or elsewhere as yet.
I guess that means Shannon hasn't reached the end of his rope.
When are you gonna raise the ante? Ten days, two weeks.
We might offer as high as half a dozen Soviet agents in exchange for Jim.
Well, I think it ought to be done right away. Why?
Well, he might run out of stuff to tell 'em. You heard what that Russian dame said.
To them, pressure means torture— or worse.
I'd like to know what that drug is that they use. We know what it is.
The same stuff they gave Cardinal Mindszenty? Mm-hmm.
Worst part of it, they've improved it.
Now it even makes you forget that you've forgotten.
We've been making excellent progress with Colonel Shannon.
Until yesterday, I've been completely satisfied in regard to his sincerity.
What happened? Well, I brought up the matter of the parasite fighters.
He said he had no experience with them.
That's quite possible. I don't think so.
We know they've perfected their method of hooking back onto the mother bomber,
which could only have been done by experts of his type.
He never mentioned any such work to me.
I still think you might be able to help us. How?
Perhaps you can persuade him to show us their method.
You mean for him to actually fly one of our parasite jets and return it to the mother bomber?
Do you want him to be killed? Of course not.
But you know there must be something wrong with our methods or our equipment.
We've already lost several of our best pilots.
If our equipment or our methods are at fault,
then Colonel Shannon will naturally tell us what's wrong before he uses them.
That seems reasonable.
Whether or not he'll see it that way, I can't promise.
Why not? This is a matter of vital tactics.
You should have no trouble. Why?
He betrayed the United States for you. He became a deserter on your behalf.
Compared to that, this parasite fighter thing means nothing.
Well, I suppose not.
And then again, it may be the last straw.
For him, or for you? Why not for me? What do you think I'm made of?
Isn't there a limit of what can be asked of me too? I know how you feel, Olga.
But you've done pretty well with him so far. I know.
But I think it's a mistake to use me at this point.
And I wish you'd tell Moscow so. It's too palpable—
I'm sorry, Olga, but you have no choice in the matter.
I was instructed to give you this in case you proved reluctant.
See ya tomorrow, boys.
- Hello, Jim. - Hello, Olga.
Why don't you come over here?
The payload on that bed is pretty low.
You don't seem surprised to see me. Why should I be?
I've been expecting you, Olga.
"Olga." You haven't called me that lately.
Well, I always think of you as two giris—
Anna, the lovely kid I thought was a refugee,
and Olga, a Soviet Tootsie Roll that made a chump out of me.
You still hate me for that, don't you?
And you came here tonight to do the same thing.
They said they'd transfer me if I didn't.
Where? To Hungary.
Well, what's so terrible about that?
Do you think I could survive being separated from you?
Where did I hear that before?
It was true then. It's even more true now.
What are you talking about? I don't know. L—
I guess I've fallen in love with you. Huh?
I've fallen in love with you! I thought you didn't believe in it.
I don't. I thought I hated you...
as much as I hated your country and everything it stands for.
And now you only hate my country?
I don't hate anything.
That's what makes it so strange. I can't understand it.
You're good, Olga.
I gotta hand it to you, baby. You're the best I've ever seen.
You don't believe me? Why should I?
All right. Let me go. Why?
Why should I stay here? Why shouldn't you?
You don't believe me. You still hate me.
Will you stay if I show 'em how to handle that parasite fighter?
Are you serious?
It's all you wanted, wasn't it?
Well, of course. Then they won't transfer me.
Okay, it's a deal.
Oh, Jim!
But I'm not doing it for you.
I'm doing it for myself. Yourself?
Sure. There's nothing secret about that parasite fighter stuff.
But I knew if I held out on it, they'd send you over to work on me.
Nothing secret about it?
All the magazines and papers in the United States...
have had big spreads on it, including diagrams.
And we only do that with projects we've decided to abandon.
Still love me? Oh, let me go!
Why? You think I'd stay here another minute?
Why not?
Ooh!
Give me back my pants!
Give me my pants!
Shh! You'll wake up the guards.
Will you give me my pants?
What are you hiding behind that barrel for? Why don't you get in it?
Give me back my pants!
I think I'll keep 'em for a souvenir.
Jim! Jim! Open the door!
Open the door! Please, hurry!
Open the door! Please, hurry! What do you want?
Open the door! Why?
The whole regimental band is coming down the street!
The regimental band? How many pieces?
Oh, I don't know. Open the door!
Where's that doorknob? Right there on the floor.
Oh, here it is. Hurry!
You're gonna have to cooperate a little. What do you mean?
Gonna have to do a little pushing from the other side.
What are you looking for?
I've run out of cigarettes. Have you got some?
Russian ones.
Where'd you get these matches? Out of your jacket.
If you ever hear of me holding out again, you'll know it's on account of two things—
American cigarettes and American coffee.
Those generals cleaned me out.
I guess that's for me.
Yes?
Yes, this is she.
Good morning, Colonel Sokolov.
Yes, he's agreed to show us all he knows about the parasite fighter.
Good. I'll tell him.
He's coming by for you in a few minutes.
Why didn't you tell him our people had found out the whole business wasn't worth the trouble?
He wouldn't believe it. Why, these matches are from Yuma.
Yeah, I've been keeping 'em for a souvenir.
Oh, Yuma.
May I have them? Not a chance.
Oh, Jim—What's this? Nothing.
Then why'd you snatch it like that?
I'd better get the rest of my flying togs.
Give me those matches, Jim.
Now, don't get all excited. I'm serious.
Then why have you got the safety on?
- You sure know your stuff, Olga. - You're not so bad yourself.
I was only kiddin' ya.
That's just a list of the things they've been questioning me about.
It's quite clear.
I only jotted 'em down so I wouldn't get all mixed up.
I told ya how I keep forgetting.
Perhaps. But it's also an almost complete list...
of every weakness in the Soviet Air Force.
Well, that isn't my fault. There isn't a thing there they haven't asked me about.
You can check with Colonel Sokolov.
I'm going to check with Moscow first. Why?
You've swindled him too. Me? What did I do?
What did you do to me?
Oh, you weren't such a chump after all. You made a chump out of me.
You made chumps out of all of us, you— you Yankee gangster.
- And all the time, I thought it was because you— - Now you know how I felt.
Is that why you did it?
Could be.
The idea of paying you off in rubles was pretty hard to resist.
- You risked more than I did. - It was worth it.
One thing I can't understand.
Now that you've gathered all this information, how did you ever plan to get out of Russia with it?
- Same way I got in. - What do you think I am?
I'm not worried. You've got too big for it.
- Big for what? - Your Soviet straightjacket.
Is that a fact?
Wait a minute, Olga.
If you turn me in, you'll be turning yourself in too. Why?
You brought me here, didn't you?
And if I know Moscow, we'll both end up against the same wall.
- Don't worry. They won't shoot you. - Why not?
You're 10 times more valuable as an enemy agent than you ever were as a traitor.
What are you gonna do, have me stuffed?
Courage won't help you. Your government trusts you.
And if I know Moscow, they'll really make use of that.
All that bunk about love last night.
I knew it wasn't on the level.
- Or was it? - Stay where you are, Jim!
Must be Colonel Sokolov.
Let him in.
Let him in yourself.
Good morning, Colonel. Be right with you.
Pardon me, Colonel.
If this be forever, baby, then forever fare thee well.
This is Lieutenant Orlieff. I wish to speak to General Langrad in Moscow.
Yes, General Dimitri Langrad.
Yes? Who?
Put her through.
I'll call you back.
Well, Olga, what can I do for you?
- Something has happened that I must report, sir. - Go ahead.
It's in regard to my husband, Colonel Shannon.
Well,
I, uh—
I merely wanted to suggest that...
Colonel Sokolov be a little more discreet when interrogating him.
Well, my husband has been talking things over with me,
and while he doesn't seem to realize it himself,
it's quite clear to me that Colonel Sokolov is only questioning him about subjects we've made little or no progress in.
What's wrong with that?
Oh, you think he should be more subtle?
I'll think it over. Perhaps you're right.
I had no idea Colonel Sokolov was so well-informed,
or you either for that matter.
If you're gonna get anywhere with these things, you'd better breed yourselves a race of midgets.
What are you doin' over here?
I heard you were going to make the drop in this thing today.
They're sure in an awful rush. No wonder you lose so many pilots.
If you're not ready to do it, you don't have to do it. Who said so?
Colonel Sokolov. He promised me that. But he hasn't been around for the last couple of weeks.
He was sent to Moscow. But why don't you wait until he comes back?
Oh, I'm as ready as I'll ever be, but— But what?
That rocket motor's about as reliable as a $2 coronet.
Even with you working on it?
We only let you people steal our defective stuff.
Yeah, I know that.
That's why I'm so worried about you.
Don't worry, baby. I love you too.
You're not lying to me? What are we gonna have for lunch?
Same as we had yesterday. Blintzes!
We had those the day before too. Well, what would you like?
How about a nice, big, juicy steak?
Mmm! Palm Springs.
Haven't you anyplace like that around here?
I don't think there's anyplace like that in the whole worid.
There's Colonel Matoff.
Aren't you gonna say good-bye?
Oh, no. Good luck.
Colonel Matoff! My dear Olga, how you've changed.
Changed? Yes, you're more beautiful than ever.
Colonel Matoff! Oh.
How is everything in Berlin? Well the,
uh—
the Americans are still there.
I must congratulate you on the way you've handled this one of yours.
Moscow is very pleased as you shall see.
They've given you another important project.
Excuse me.
I must find Colonel Sokolov.
If you mean your superior officer, you won't have to look very far.
Why? I'm taking his place.
This is the passenger mentioned in your orders.
Captain Orlieff, may I present Lieutenant Diompkin.
"Captain"? You've been promoted.
Lieutenant Diompkin is your assistant.
Really? Your plane is ready, Captain.
I'll be with you in a few moments.
Uh, Colonel Sokolov, he has been promoted also? Oh, yes,
to the uranium mine.
Colonel Sokolov?
You're the only one who hasn't been contaminated by this American.
Thank goodness I shall have no personal contact with him.
Why?
He's to be exchanged for five very valuable countrymen of ours.
When?
Well, if he doesn't get blown up in that thing,
I have orders to send him to Moscow tomorrow...
where, I imagine, he'll be turned over to the American ambassador.
Tomorrow?
Oh, it's time for you to leave.
Now? Yes, you must leave at once.
Tomorrow?
Why are you so concerned?
I think it's a great mistake.
To exchange this American?
Aren't you a little tired of him by now?
You know my personal feelings are of no consequence.
Then why do you say it's a great mistake to exchange him?
I'm afraid he knows too much. Don't worry.
General Langrad is taking care of that.
General Langrad?
He has ordered me to see that Colonel Shannon be given the final medication...
before he is turned over to the American ambassador.
Medication?
Didn't you know we've been giving it to him all along?
- No. - Yes.
Our new technique...
just in very small doses, of course.
Just enough to make him forget his loyalty to his...
dirty, rotten, capitalistic country.
That's why his memory's been so bad.
When he returns for lunch—
if he does return—
I'll arrange to have the final dose placed in his food.
It will be a massive one, but completely tasteless...
in either a stew or an omelet.
But won't that destroy his memory entirely?
In 36 hours, he'll be a complete idiot.
Won't even remember who he is, much less you.
And now if you'll pardon me, I must talk with the local medical staff.
Good-bye.
You ever bailed out of one of these planes before?
No, Captain. I'm not a flier. I've never even been in a jet before.
I've, uh, been having a little trouble with this one.
Maybe I'd better take it up myself to make sure it's all right.
I'm sorry, Captain.
I've been ordered not to let you out of my sight.
Is that a fact?
Yes, Captain.
I've been instructed to go wherever you go.
Very well.
Get up in the back seat. You can watch me from there.
Oh!
Now you put the other foot over there.
Here.
You comfortable?
No, Captain, it's rather a tight fit.
Oh. Well, in that case, just pull that little red lever.
Then you'll have plenty of room.
Thank you, Captain.
Hey! What's wrong?
He made a mistake. He pulled the seat ejector instead of the seat adjustor.
Aah!
After you get this thing unbuckled, buzz me twice before you turn me loose.
Okay! Tallyho!
"A" For Anna calling "S" For Shannon.
"A” For Anna calling "S" For Shannon.
Hello, Olga. Go ahead. This isn't Olga.
This is Anna. I repeat: This is Anna.
Oh? What's on your mind?
- That steak you were talking about. - Did you get one?
No. I'm afraid...
we'll have to get it at the same place we had it last time.
I repeat: The same place.
The same place? What are you talkin' about? Where are you?
You know that jet that's guarding you on top?
- Yeah. - I'm right underneath him.
I don't get it. What's got into you?
I can only tell you, this is Anna.
Have you blown a fuse or something?
I'll explain it to you later on.
Okay, Anna.
Give me a flight plan to that steak joint.
Fly a course of 90 degrees until further notice.
What about this jet that's guarding me down here?
I'll take care of him.
Better move over to your right. I might hit his fuel tank.
Okay.
Good work, baby.
What's next? How much fuel have you got?
Four or five minutes. There's an auxiliary field straight ahead.
I'll cover you when you land. Here I go!
- How much fuel have you got? - Enough to get us to Vienna.
Good. Give her the gun.
They're comin' after us like a nest of hornets. Can you hear them on the air?
Look behind you. You oughta be able to see them.
There they are. Two MIGs coming out of 7:00.
- Let them come. I'll take care of them. - What are you gonna do?
I don't know. I'm trying to think of something, and you'd better do the same.
Those guys back there are gettin' a little close.
Have you thought of anything? See that big cloud ahead?
Yes. Well, make a right turn into it.
Then when you get well inside of it, whip to the left.
Maybe we can lose them. I was just thinking the same thing. Here we go!
Cigarettes?
Mmm, Papa. Is this a steak, or is this a steak?
I bet that's all you came back for.
It's one of the reasons.
If I could make my people realize that things like this are better than all the guns in the worid—
What's the other?
Wipe off your chin.