[旁白]如果你做爱，它看起来像什么？ [narrator] If you have sex, what does it look like?
当你幻想性爱时， And when you fantasize about sex,
我知道你们大多数人都是这么想的 and we know the vast majority of you do,
那看起来像什么？ what does that look like?
你想做爱吗？ Is it sex you want to have?
或者是完全不同的东西？ Or is it something else entirely?
在最大的色情网站之一PornHub上， On one of the biggest porn sites, PornHub,
搜索最多的三个词是“妈妈”、“继母”和“MILF” three of the most searched terms are "mom," "stepmom," and "MILF,"
“妈妈”的另一种味道 another flavor of "mom."
但是色情并不一定反映我们真实的私人幻想 But porn doesn't necessarily reflect our true private fantasies.
要找出答案，你必须亲自去问别人 To find that out, you have to actually ask people.
我调查了来自全美50个州的近4200名美国人， I surveyed almost 4,200 Americans from all 50 states,
他们的年龄从18岁到87岁不等， people ranging in age from 18 to 87,
包括所有不同的性别认同，性取向， ranging all different gender identities, sexual orientations,
人口和政治背景， demographic and political backgrounds,
我问了他们上百个问题。 and I asked them hundreds of questions.
[旁白]根据他的调查， [narrator] According to his survey,
97%的美国成年人有过性幻想， 97% of American adults have had a sexual fantasy,
在想象一个令人兴奋的性场景。 as in imagined an arousing sexual scenario.
87%的人每周至少有一次 Eighty-seven percent have at least one a week.
52%的人每天至少吃一颗 And 52% have at least one a day.
虽然我们可能认为我们的幻想是超级奇怪和独特的 And though we might think our fantasies are super weird and unique...
总的来说，大多数人，不分性别， By and large, most people, regardless of gender,
都幻想着同样的事情。 are fantasizing about the same things.
[旁白]那么我们在幻想谁和什么？ [narrator] So who and what are we fantasizing about?
我们的幻想又告诉了我们什么？ And what do our fantasies say about us?
啊，琳达，要是你能在这里照顾我就好了。 Ah, Linda, if you were only here to nurse me.
[女1]我喜欢看别人手淫。 [woman 1] I love to watch people masturbate.
我喜欢脚，但我想，“为什么人们会迷恋脚？” [man] I love feet, but I'm like, "Why are feet fetishized?"
为什么这些事情被认为是不正常的？ Why are these things considered outside of normal?
[女2]幻想就是幻想，它让我们兴奋。 [woman 2] Fantasy is fantasy, and it turns us on.
它们可以留在你的脑子里， They can remain in your head,
或者有时候你可以把它们变成现实。 or sometimes you can actually make them a reality.
[播放主题音乐] [theme music playing]
[旁白]我们的大部分幻想可以分为三种类型 [narrator] Most of our fantasies fall into three genres:
与多人发生性关系， having sex with multiple people,
在我们以前从未做过的地方或方式做爱 sex in places or in ways that we've never done it before
对权力和控制的幻想。 and fantasies about power and control.
第一个：组性， The first: group sex,
喜欢狂欢或帮派聚会， like orgies or gang bangs,
一种狂欢，很多男人通常与同一个女人发生性关系 a type of orgy where a lot of men usually have sex with the same woman.
几乎每个美国成年人都幻想过群体性行为 Almost every American adult has fantasized about group sex.
超过一半的男性说他们经常幻想性爱 And over half of the men said they fantasized about it often.
通常这种幻想涉及特定数量的人 And usually the fantasy involves a specific number of people.
-我只会说“三人行”-三人行很美。 -I would just say, "a threesome." -The threesome thing is beautiful.
我觉得这绝对是三人行，但也有葡萄之类的。 I think it's definitely a threesome, but there's also, like, grapes involved.
[Justin Lehmiller]当我看到一个词的幻想描述 [Justin Lehmiller] When I looked at the one-word fantasy descriptions
人们提供的， that people provided,
当他们用一个词来概括他们最喜欢的幻想时， when they summed up their favorite fantasy of all time in a single word,
我把这些词输入一个词云。 I took those words, and I entered them into a word cloud.
我第一次这么做的时候，上面只写着“三人行” And the first time I did this, all it said was "threesome"
因为很多人都写过三人行 because so many people wrote that threesome
是他们一直以来最喜欢的幻想。 was their favorite fantasy of all time.
这是人们感到被认可和被需要的一种方式。 It's a way that people can feel validated and wanted.
很多人真的只想成为关注的焦点， A lot of people really just want to be the center of attention,
他们希望有很多人同时渴望他们。 and they want multiple people desiring them at the same time.
所以，这实际上是一个很大的情感因素。 So, there's actually a big emotional component.
[旁白]虽然刻板印象可能是年轻人喜欢尝试 [narrator] And while the stereotype might be that young people experiment
, with group sex,
这种幻想实际上更受40多岁、50多岁和60多岁的人欢迎 this fantasy is actually more popular with people in their 40s, 50s, and 60s.
这是3p的一大吸引力 A big part of the appeal of threesomes
只是很多人厌倦了他们的性生活， is just that a lot of people get bored with their sexual routines,
很多人都有长期的一夫一妻制关系， and a lot of people are in long-term monogamous relationships,
所以3p是增加新鲜感的简单方法。 and so a threesome is an easy way of adding some novelty.
[旁白]总的来说，新奇， [narrator] And novelty, in general,
>是我们幻想的第二大类型 is the second major genre of our fantasies.
这就是人们混淆的地方。 That's where people are just mixing it up.
[旁白]在一项小型研究中， [narrator] In one small study,
男性一遍又一遍地观看同一个色情短片， men viewed the same porn clip over and over,
，他们越来越不兴奋 and they got less and less aroused.
但是接着又播放了一个新的色情片， But then a new porn clip played,
男性的阴茎变得非常硬，非常快 and the men's penises got very hard, very fast.
一项类似的研究测量了女性生殖器的兴奋程度 A similar study was conducted measuring women's genital arousal
with similar results.
我喜欢它神秘的一面。 I like the secretive aspect of it.
更像是“我从来没干过”之类的。 More like "I've never done this before" kind of thing.
比如，如果我们一起坐飞机，然后“哦，不，你的航班延误了？” Like, if we're on a plane together, and "Oh, no, your flight got delayed?
为什么不回我家过夜呢？ Why not just come back to my place for the night?
我有一张空床。” I have a spare bed."
蜡烛蜡滴在我身上， Having candle wax dripped on my body,
全身长满羽毛。 having feathers run across my body.
在表现欲方面， More on the exhibitionist side,
我在布鲁克林大桥上做过性行为。 I have done sexual things on the Brooklyn Bridge.
在新奇类中出现的最大主题是公共场所的性行为。 The biggest theme that came up in the novelty category was public sex.
[旁白]一些最喜欢的： [narrator] Some of the favorites:
在公园里、汽车里、公共浴室里做爱 sex in a park, a car, a public bathroom,
一个更衣室，一部电梯和办公室 a locker room, an elevator, and the office.
我觉得是我的性幻想 I think a sexual fantasy for me
就是让我的搭档 would be to have my partner,
就像拿着玩具到处走 like, going around with a toy
我可以控制和调节 that I could sort of control and modulate
在婚礼上，或者在商务会议上…… at a wedding, or, like, at a business meeting...
理论上有被发现的风险， There is, like, theoretically some risk of discovery,
所以这是一种热的感觉。 so it's kind of like hot in that way.
[旁白]三分之二的男性和女性 [narrator] Two-thirds of men and women
我曾经幻想过性玩具 have fantasized about sex toys.
最常见的两种：眼罩和手铐 Two of the most common ones: blindfolds and handcuffs.
这就把我们带到了第三大奇幻类型 Which brings us to the third big fantasy genre
电源和控制。 power and control.
超过四分之一的人认为这是他们最喜欢的幻想 More than a quarter of people rated this their favorite kind of fantasy.
我只是喜欢有侵略性的人。 I just like someone who is aggressive.
（笑）嗯，一个真的可以…… [laughing] Um, someone who can really, like...
对，就是个好斗的人。 Yeah, just someone who's aggressive.
我就讲到这里。好斗的人。 I'm gonna leave it at that. Someone who's aggressive.
我一直以为像… I always thought being like...
稍微折腾一下总是很吸引人， tossed around a little bit was always really attractive,
就像《我爱你》里的那个场景。和史密斯先生 like that scene in Mrs. and Mr. Smith.
（笑）他们想杀了对方，但场面很火辣。 [laughs] They're trying to kill each other, but it's hot.
我在这个世界上最喜欢做的事就是打屁股。 My favorite thing to do in the world is get into butts.
勾搭顺男绝对是一件很有权力的事， It's definitely a power thing to get into cis-boy butts,
我不会为此道歉的 and I won't apologize for it.
我喜欢护士。我不知道，关于护士，警察… I like nurses. I don't know, something about nurses, cops...
我不知道。你知道我怎么想的吗？精神上的，比如掌权的女人。 I don't know. You know what I think it is? Something mental, like women in power.
那是性感的。就是这样。 That's sexy. That's what it is.
不过不会有太大的能量。 Not too much power, though.
你知道，刚刚好。别吓死我了。 Just enough, you know. Don't scare the sh-- out of me.
[旁白]在性爱中探索权力游戏的一种方法是通过BDSM [narrator] One way to explore power-play during sex is through BDSM.
BDSM是束缚和纪律，施虐-受虐狂。 BDSM is bondage and discipline, sado-masochism.
这是人们获得的性快感 It's the erotic pleasure that people take
在给予痛苦时， in giving pain,
持久的疼痛, enduring pain,
主导地位, giving dominance,
给予惩罚（punishment）， giving punishment, "punishment,"
忍受惩罚，给予羞辱，忍受羞辱。 enduring punishment, giving humiliation, enduring humiliation.
但这都是在游戏时间的范围内。 But it's all in the realm of playtime.
[旁白]BDSM通常与花哨的道具联系在一起 [narrator] BDSM is often associated with fancy props
. . . and contraptions made of leather.
我喜欢皮革。 I love leather.
我认为现在人们对它有自己的看法， I think that nowadays people have a view of it,
比如《五十度灰》 of things like Fifty Shades of Grey
诸如此类的东西。 and that kind of stuff.
这是一种非常主流的观点。 It's a very sort of a mainstream idea.
但实际上，我对皮革的理解来自一个非常奇怪的地方。 But actually, my version of leather comes from a very queer place.
[旁白]这一切都始于20世纪40年代的美国 [narrator] And that all started in the US in the 1940s
.那里有一种新兴的摩托车文化 where there was an emerging biker culture.
对于喜欢摩托车的男人来说，皮革是很好的防护服 Leather was good protective clothing for men who were into motorcycles,
和坚固的，全男性俱乐部 and rugged, all-male clubs
. 0对于喜欢男人的男人来说是很好的设置 were good settings for men who were into men.
当第二次世界大战结束时，一些同性恋退伍军人留在了西海岸 When World War II ended, some gay veterans stayed on the West Coast
并加入了摩托车手的圈子，拥抱同性恋，超级男性化的身份 and joined the biker scene, embracing a gay, hyper-masculine identity
和实验与变态性。 and experimenting with kinky sex.
很快，同性恋皮革文化传播到美国和欧洲的各个城市 Soon, gay leather culture spread to cities across the US and Europe.
然后在几十年前，它变得更明显了 And then a few decades ago, it became a lot more visible.
在80年代末和90年代的旧金山 in the late '80s and the '90s in San Francisco,
性取向是我们非常纠结的问题 sexuality was something that we were really in turmoil over
因为艾滋病 because of AIDS
因为严重的愤怒和混乱 and because of the serious fury and confusion
以及对这种疾病的恐惧。 and terror around the disease.
一些警察戴着面具和手套 [man] Some policemen wearing masks and gloves
在处理同性恋问题时， when dealing with homosexuals,
一些殡仪业者拒绝对艾滋病患者的尸体进行防腐处理。 some morticians refusing to embalm the bodies of AIDS victims.
所以BDSM是发泄这种情绪的最佳途径。 And so BDSM was the perfect kind of outlet for that.
[旁白]避孕套，牙套和各种乳胶 [narrator] Condoms, dental dams and all kinds of latex
成为乐趣的一部分。 became part of the fun.
它把所有这些东西都性感化了 It sexualized all of these things
这在过去是一种障碍， that were kind of like barriers in the past,
我认为这真的很治愈，真的很了不起。 which I think is really healing and really remarkable.
[旁白]它帮助人们处理他们对性的焦虑， [narrator] And it helped people cope with their anxieties around sex,
，通过让他们离开他们的头脑， by getting them out of their heads,
这仍然是今天BDSM吸引力的一部分 which is still a part of the appeal of BDSM today.
这是一个完整的过程。这是一个完整的故事。 It's a full process. It's a full story.
这是你自己创造的完全沉浸感 It's a full immersion that you're creating yourself
你可以和别人一起体验， and that you get to experience with somebody else,
这就是我们在BDSM中所说的，我们称之为“游戏”， and it's what we call in BDSM, we call it "play,"
因为这是我们的一部分 because it is that part of us
已经忘记了如何扮演角色。 that has forgotten how to just role-play.
[旁白]但是BDSM的幻想可以追溯到比20世纪更远的地方 [narrator] But BDSM fantasies go back way further than the 20th century.
施虐-受虐狂中的“sado”来自萨德侯爵… The "sado" in sado-masochism comes from the Marquis de Sade...
一个18世纪的法国贵族以他古怪的性犯罪而闻名 a 1700s French nobleman known for his kinky sex crimes
和他的小说描绘变态性犯罪。 and for his novels depicting kinky sex crimes.
施虐受虐中的“受虐狂” And the "masochism" in sado-masochism
来自Leopold von Sacher-Masoch， comes from Leopold von Sacher-Masoch,
>一个100年后出生的奥地利贵族， an Austrian nobleman born a hundred years later,
谁的书维纳斯在佩尔茨讲述了半自传体的故事 whose book Venus im Pelz told the semi-autobiographical story
. . >一个男人说服一个女人让他做她的奴隶 of a man who convinces a woman to make him her slave.
创造了“受虐狂”一词的精神病学家 The psychiatrist who coined the term "masochism"
>解释了这个“变态” explained that this "perversion"
在他那个时代，科学界对他一无所知 up to his time was quite unknown to the scientific world.
但是我们现在知道了这个“变态”， But we now know this "perversion,"
>至少想象一下，它很普遍 at least imagining it, is widespread.
在Lehmiller的研究中，超过四分之三的人 More than three-quarters of people in Lehmiller's study
曾幻想过束缚， had fantasized about bondage,
如在约束某人或被约束时 as in restraining someone or being restrained.
超过一半的内容是关于纪律，如下达或服从命令 More than half about discipline, as in giving or following orders.
几乎有四分之三的人施加或接受疼痛， And almost three-quarters about inflicting or receiving pain,
主要是咬和打。 mostly biting and spanking.
事实上，几乎每个人都有某种形式的BDSM幻想 The fact that almost everyone was having some type of BDSM fantasy
说明这不是什么罕见或不寻常的性兴趣。 tells us this is not some rare or unusual sexual interest.
[旁白]包括对强迫性的幻想， [narrator] Including fantasies about forced sex,
在Lehmiller的研究中，54%的男性， in Lehmiller's study, 54% of men,
61%的女性， 61% of women,
， 68%的非二进制人 and 68% of non-binary people
曾幻想被强迫 had fantasized about being forced
. 0至少做爱一次 to have sex at least once.
所以，这是我的处境 So, it's me being in a position
我不想被人追杀的地方 where I am being pursued and I don't want to be
而且几乎是在强奸幻想场景中。 and almost in a rape fantasy scenario.
[旁白]在电视和电影中，这种幻想通常遵循一个模板： [narrator] In TV and movies, this fantasy often follows a template:
一个勇敢但最终脆弱的女人被强奸了， a spunky but ultimately vulnerable woman is raped,
但后来爱上了她的虐待者。 but then falls in love with her abuser.
虽然，右边的两个，有点复杂， Although, in those two on the right, it's a little complicated.
这个公式在80%的泰国肥皂剧中也同样适用 This formula also plays out in 80% of Thai soap operas.
这是很正常的，这种类型甚至有一个可爱的昵称： It's so normal, the genre even has a cutesy nickname:
“扇和吻，” "slap and kiss,"
因为有很多扇耳光，然后接吻 because there's a lot of slapping, then kissing.
这个幻想也可以追溯到很久以前。 And this fantasy goes way back, too.
最早的现代强奸幻想小说之一， One of the first modern rape fantasy novels,
The Sheik, >于1919年在英国出版 The Sheik, was published in England in 1919.
如此轰动，它也得到了好莱坞式的处理 Such a sensation, it also got the Hollywood treatment.
一个活泼的白人妇女被一个性感和暴力的阿拉伯王子绑架 A feisty white woman is kidnapped by a sexy and violent Arab prince.
他强奸了她，她坠入爱河，从此他们幸福地生活在一起 He rapes her, she falls in love, and they live happily ever after.
观众喜欢它 Audiences loved it.
这部电影打破了纽约的票房纪录 The movie broke box office records in New York
>在法国也大受欢迎 and was a runaway hit in France, too.
在1987年，一项关于美国历史浪漫小说的调查， And in 1987, a survey of historical American romance novels,
，主要由女性编写和阅读， which are written and read mostly by women,
>发现，超过一半的视频都有女主角被强奸的情节 found that more than half featured the rape of the lead female character,
也许是将女主角从“道德诽谤”中解放出来 perhaps freeing the heroine from the "moral slur
同意婚前性行为 of consenting to have sexual intercourse before marriage"
根据一位研究人员 according to one researcher.
通常，我们的幻想涉及禁忌的事情， Often, our fantasies involve things that are taboo,
被禁止的事， things that are forbidden,
那些我们在日常生活中无法表达的东西， things that we feel that we can't express in everyday life,
简单的事实是，这是禁忌和禁止的 and the simple fact that it's taboo and forbidden
是它让人兴奋和兴奋的原因。 is what makes it exciting and titillating.
这并不意味着你在日常生活中真的想要它。 That doesn't mean you actually want it in your everyday life.
没人会这么想如果你对强奸有幻想 Nobody thinks that if you have a fantasy about rape
你想被强奸 that you want to be raped,
或者你是一个倾向于强奸的人。 or you're someone who's oriented toward rape.
对我来说，这就像是，“哦，是的，我喜欢顺从，” For me, it's like, "Oh, yeah, I like to be the submissive,"
因为我能掌控自己的生活。 because I'm in control a lot of my life.
而是在性方面顺从 But being submissive in sex
不代表我不能控制性生活 doesn't mean I'm not in control of the sex
因为我能掌控性爱的一切。 'cause I'm in control of everything in sex.
所以这只是我个性的另一个自然延伸。 So it's just another natural extension of my own personality.
[旁白]我们的幻想也是我们文化的延伸 [narrator] Our fantasies are also an extension of our culture.
对瑞典爱情小说的调查，也是在20世纪80年代完成的， A survey of Swedish romance novels, also done in the 1980s,
几乎没有发现女人爱上强奸她们的人的例子 found almost no examples of women falling in love with their rapists.
研究人员解释说，这可能是因为“婚前性行为不完全是。 The researcher explained that could be because "premarital sex was not quite
在当时的美国，这是一种文化禁忌 the cultural taboo as it was in the United States" at the time.
而在今天的印度，描写性是禁忌 While in India today, the portrayal of sex is taboo.
色情实际上是非法的 Porn is actually illegal.
所以用漫画书的形式来制作比较容易 So it's easier to make in the form of comic books.
这是两个最受欢迎的角色 And these are two of the most popular characters,
卡通家庭主妇Savita Bhabhi和Velamma。 cartoon housewives Savita Bhabhi and Velamma.
都是母亲的形象，只是形象不同， Both maternal figures, just with different figures,
那些被丈夫忽视，厌倦了家庭生活的人， who are ignored by their husbands and bored with their domestic routines,
所以花时间寻找性，经常和年轻的男人 so spend their days on the prowl for sex, often with younger men.
>追求自己的快乐， Pursuing their own pleasure,
他们大胆地违反每一个社会限制 they boldly violate every social restriction
. . placed on Indian women.
在美国，一种流行的色情类型在男性中 And in the US, a popular porn genre among men
是男人的耻辱 is the humiliation of men.
一个白人男子看着他的白人女友或妻子被蹂躏 A white man watches his white girlfriend or wife get ravaged
>被一个更强壮、更有统治力的黑人 by a much stronger and dominant black man...
这是我的房子。 It's my house.
啊，这是你的房子，但我有时住在里面。 Ah, it is your house, but I live in it sometimes.
[笑] [laughing]
(旁白)<我>…利用黑人男性作为性威胁的刻板印象[/i>] [narrator] ...playing off a stereotype of black men as sexual threats
. . . that goes back hundreds of years.
然后在2000年代， And then in the 2000s,
一种新的威胁攫住了西方人的想象力 a new threat gripped the Western imagination.
伊拉克局势已进入最后决定阶段。 Events in Iraq have now reached the final days of decision.
我们将摧毁恐怖机构，我们将帮助你们建立一个新的伊拉克。 We will tear down the apparatus of terror, and we will help you to build a new Iraq.
[旁白]在反恐战争期间，性感的酋长类型有了复苏， [narrator] During the War on Terror, the sexy Sheik genre had a resurgence,
在入侵伊拉克之前达到顶峰 peaking in the lead-up to the invasion of Iraq,
与情节点，如：“基地组织的关系，” with plot points like: "Al Qaeda ties,"
“大规模杀伤性武器”和“击败恐怖主义” "weapons of mass destruction" and "defeating terrorism."
在美国，制度化的种族主义似乎正在蔓延 Institutionalized racism in the United States seems to creep
进入我们的性幻想。 into our sexual fantasies.
[旁白]这也影响了边缘群体的幻想。 [narrator] And that affects the fantasies of marginalized groups, too.
[尹问]很多移民到这里的人， [Yin Q] A lot of people who have immigrated here,
他们对孩子的成功和安全的想法 their ideas of success and safety for their children
实际上只是为了同化， is actually just to assimilate,
尤其是在亚裔美国人社区。 especially in the Asian-American community.
他们主要希望自己的孩子成功 They want their children mostly to be successful
（笑）在所有这些已经被批准的领域 [laughs] in all these other areas that have already been approved
这个白人社会。 by this white society.
[旁白]这可能就是为什么Lehmiller的研究 [narrator] Which may be why Lehmiller's study
发现绝大多数亚裔美国人， found that the vast majority of Asian-Americans,
无论他们幻想的是男人还是女人， whether they fantasize about men or women,
我大部分时间都在幻想白人 fantasize about white people most of the time.
你知道这有很长的历史 And you know there's a long history
的白人男子幻想亚洲妇女， of white men fantasizing about Asian women,
就像你在几十年前的电影里看到的那样 as you can see in movies that go back decades.
[男]此时此刻， [man] At this moment,
我所有的善意都变得软弱无力了。 all my honorable intentions are getting sort of weak in the knees.
你的眼睛是那么温柔…… Your eyes are as soft...
你的头发摸起来很舒服。 your hair is pleasant to my touch.
脱掉衣服？ Take clothes off?
不，我从来没试过裸体。 No, I've never tried nudes.
是时候试试了。 Good time to try.
我们身上有太多与性有关的东西 There's so much about us that is really about sexualization
从白人或男性的角度来看， from the white perspective or the male gaze,
但这与我们的性取向无关， but it's really not about our sexuality,
在我们有代理的地方，我们在讲故事。 where we have agency, we're telling the story.
[旁白]这就是为什么阴Q创造了一个网络系列， [narrator] Which is why Yin Q created a web-series,
仁慈的女主人，基于她的职业生涯作为一个施虐者 Mercy Mistress, based on her career as a dominatrix.
（笑）对我来说，我天生就是个怪癖。 [laughs] For me, I'm hardwired to be kinky.
这是我性取向的一部分。 It's part of my sexual orientation.
这只是我酷儿身份的一部分。 It's just part of my queerness.
我真的被仁慈的女主人吸引了，因为我真的很喜欢这个想法 I was really drawn to Mercy Mistress because I really love the idea
有一个亚裔美国施虐狂 of having an Asian-American dominatrix
谈论她的生活。 talking about her life.
我喜欢任何关于亚裔美国人性取向的故事 I love any story that's about Asian-American sexuality
因为我们现在还没有。 because we don't really have one yet.
[旁白]我们可能无法摆脱我们的幻想 [narrator] We may not be able to get rid of our fantasies.
一些研究人员说，我们的兴奋点就像语言一样 Some researchers say our turn-ons are like languages:
我们不能忘记它们，但我们可以学习新的 we can't unlearn them, but we can learn new ones.
仅仅看色情片也能塑造人们的幻想。 Just watching porn can also shape people's fantasies as well.
也许在你手淫和做爱的时候， Maybe while you're masturbating and edging,
当你处在高潮的边缘， where you're on the brink of orgasm,
你会遇到一些新的和不同的东西 and you come across something that's new and different
你以前从未见过的，可能真的很奇怪， that you've never seen before that's maybe really kinky,
因为你的厌恶反应更低 because your disgust response is lower
这可能会让你把视频看完， that might open the door to you watching that video till the end,
这时你可能会有强烈的高潮 at which point you might have this powerful orgasm
你可能会开始联想到扭结。 that you might start to associate with that that kink.
(女人呻吟) [woman moans]
因此，这可能会导致你 And as a result, that might lead you
想要在未来幻想更多。 to want to fantasize more about that in the future.
[旁白]在Lehmiller的研究中79%的人 [narrator] And while 79% in Lehmiller's study
他们说他们想表演他们一直以来最喜欢的幻想， said they want to act out their favorite fantasy of all time,
只有23%的人说他们真的试过 only 23% said they'd actually tried.
如果你处在一段充满爱的亲密关系中， If you're in a loving, intimate relationship,
当你和你非常信任的人发生性关系时， where you are sexual with somebody that you're very trusting of them,
你觉得你可以分享自己的这些禁忌部分， and you feel like you can share these taboo parts of yourself,
这是一种很好的观察方式 that can be a really good way to sort of see
我们可以多么亲密。 how intimate we can be.
真正的亲密不只是分享我们自己的美丽， Real intimacy isn't just sharing the beauty of who we are,
它也在分享丑陋， it's also sharing the ugly,
丑陋的一面也能让人感到满足。 and the ugly can actually be very gratifying.
[旁白]如果你的幻想是暴力的， [narrator] And if your fantasies are on the violent side,
，需要大量的通信 that requires a lot of communication.
有一种非常安全的方法可以解决所有的恋物癖 [Margaret Cho] There's a very safe way to work through all fetishes
以及通过BDSM产生的各种想法和纠结。 and all kinds of ideas and kinks through BDSM.
这其实是一种很好的方法。 It's actually a wonderful way to do that.
这是性的一大好处。 It's one of the great things about sexuality.
在某种程度上，它能拉近我们的距离 It can bring us closer in a way
这也许是其他形式的交流不能做到的。 that maybe other forms of communication can't.
[尹问]是设置和持续的检查 [Yin Q] It's the setting up and the continuous check in
和你一起玩的那个人 of consent that that person that you're playing with
就是不断地享受他们和你在一起的经历， is continuously enjoying what they are experiencing with you,
而且实际上还有安全词 and that there's actually safe words
这是为了保护双方不要走得太远。 that are set up to protect both sides of going too far.
[旁白]我们的大多数幻想反映了人类的基本需求： [narrator] Most of our fantasies reflect basic human needs:
感觉被渴望和认可， Feeling desired and validated,
打破常规， breaking out of our routines,
和应对焦虑 and coping with anxieties.
我们最受欢迎的许多幻想作品都是这些类型的混合体 And many of our most popular fantasies mix and match these genres.
就像妈妈的幻想：这太新奇了 Like mom fantasies: That's pretty novel.
这绝对是一场权力游戏 And it's definitely power play.
Or gangbang fantasies, which are group sex,
通常带有一点权力 usually with a dash of power play.
或The Sheik, 这是一个种族权力游戏 Or The Sheik, which is a racial power play
和强迫的性和浪漫。 and forced sex and romance.
幻想通常来自各种不同的地方： Often fantasies come from a variety of different places:
一些记忆，一些你读过的书。 some memory of something, some book that you read.
它在你的脑海中变成了一种混乱。 It becomes this kind of mishmosh in your mind.
但性幻想有很多可变性， But there's a lot of variability in sexual fantasies,
他们不会告诉你任何关于你的可靠信息。 and they don't tell you anything reliable about you.
如果你有让你不安或害怕的幻想， If you have fantasies that disturb you or scare you,
你想知道它们意味着什么，它们并不意味着什么。 and you wonder what they mean, they don't mean a lot.
所以，不要太担心他们。 So, don't worry so much about them.
[播放主题音乐] [theme music playing]