So, Mr. Ryan.
As you know, we have all prospective employers
take a lie detector test prior to joining firm.
So if you don¡¯t mind,
we¡¯re going to beginning with couples of control questions.
Should I be hooked up to something?
Um,with the old system? Yes.
But with the new lie detector 3000,
it¡¯s programmed to go off when it hears you tell a lie.
For example, go ahead and tell an obvious lie.
Grass is blue.
I m a tall black man.
I haven¡¯t ever saw "Friends"
I love it,
I have never missed one.
I¡¯ve heard good things.
Now go ahead and say something that is true.
I have a gay roommate who is always necked.
Serious?
Luke, you got the chance to email me those mission statements?
Ah yeah I did it last night.
I¡­did it this morning.
All right. Haven¡¯t even started yet.
Well Luke, you are the best.
You suck.
I will be back at my desk working.
I will be playing Angry Birds on my phone.
Hey Stephanie! You look beautiful today!
Please state your full name
Swaggy Ryan
Is it true that you reside at 2000 Huqingping Highway?
Yeah, Room233
How did you do it man?
Oh en¡­I was brought there.
No no I mean how could you meet a gay roommate?
I¡¯m getting a little uncomfortable with this line of questioning.
Ringt. I¡¯m sorry. You are right.
I mean a gay roommate and he is always necked.
You know what I¡¯m saying.
Why are you¡­
why are you so concerned about my roommate?
I mean are you a gay or something?
What? NO! Hey!
Nobody loves pussy more than I do!
Alright. I¡¯m a flaming homosexual.
Do me a favor?
Don¡¯t tell anybody because nobody knows.
Ok.Everybody knows.
So¡­ tell people?
NO!
Have you ever been fired from a job before?
NO!
Three times.
Have you ever stolen from an employer before?
NO!
Alright! Damn it!
How much would you say you¡¯ve stolen before?
Two hundred dollars.
Ok, it's three thousand dollars.
So much I¡¯ve lost count.
Fifty-two thousand eight hundred and ninty-two dollars.
That¡¯s a lot of money Ryan.
My mom had cancer!
All right, I bought a car¡­.
And named it Cancer
I will be honest, Ryan.
This interview is going really well.
Yeah?
NO!
This is the worst interview I¡¯ve ever been a part of!
Normally you¡¯d be gone!
But,according to company policy dictates I ask you one final question.
OK!
Would you ever introduce your roommate to me to get a job?
NO
Congratulations!!!