瑞克：莫蒂？！ RICK: Morty?!
-莫蒂！-瑞克？ -Morty! -Rick?
嘿，莫蒂？！-瑞克？ -R|CK: Hey, Morty?! -Rick?
你是在很远的地方，还是你在里面？ Are you far away, or are you inside something?
这是照相机吗？ Is this a camera?
一切都是照相机吗？ Is everything a camera?
瑞克：莫蒂，车库，莫蒂。 RICK: Morty, the garage, Morty.
到车库去！ Come to the garage!
-莫蒂？-瑞克？-你在哪里？ -Morty? -Rick? W-Where are you?
里克：在我的工作台上，莫蒂。 RICK: On my work bench, Morty.
你是看不见的，你会像在我身上放屁一样吗？ Are you invisible and you're gonna, like, fart on me?
瑞克：把泡菜翻过来。 RICK: Flip the pickle over.
什么，我要去碰它， What, I'm gonna touch it,
你会告诉我这是一个外星人的迪克什么的。 and you're gonna tell me it's an alien dick or something.
瑞克：来吧，把泡菜翻一下，莫蒂。 RICK: Come on, flip the pickle, Morty.
你不会后悔的，回报是巨大的。 You're not gonna regret it. The payoff is huge.
我把自己变成了一个腌菜，莫蒂！ I turned myself into a pickle, Morty!
砰！大揭秘——我是一个泡菜。 Boom! Big reveal -- I'm a pickle.
你觉得怎么样？ What do you think about that?
我把自己变成了一个腌菜！ I turned myself into a pickle!
你在盯着我看什么，兄弟？ W-What are you just staring at me for, bro?
我把自己变成了一个腌菜，莫蒂！ I turned myself into a pickle, Morty!
-还有？-还有？ -And? -And?
你还想在这上面加什么？ What more do you want tacked on to this?
我把自己变成了一个腌菜，而911是一份内部工作。 I turned myself into a pickle, and 9/11 was an inside job.
-是吗？-谁在乎，莫蒂？ -Was it? -Who cares, Morty?
全球恐怖主义行为每天都在发生。 Global acts of terrorism happen every day.
呃，这是以前从未发生过的事情—— Uh, here's something that's never happened before --
我是个泡菜。 I'm a pickle.
我是泡菜里克！ I'm Pickle Rick!
戏剧音乐戏剧 [Dramatic music plays]
你会吗，我的意思是，你知道—— Are you going to, I mean, you know --
这是某种魔术的第一部分吗？ Is this the first part of some kind of magic trick?
我不做魔法，莫蒂，我做科学。 I don't do magic, Morty, I do science.
一个人需要大脑，另一个需要深色的眼线。 One takes brains, the other takes dark eyeliner.
你能移动吗？你能飞吗？ Well, can you move? Can you fly?
如果我可以的话，也不会太麻烦。 Wouldn't be much of a pickle if I could.
好吧，泡菜是永远存在的，还是—— All right, well, do pickles live forever or --
莫蒂，不要再挖掘隐藏的层次了，只留下深刻的印象。 Morty, stop digging for hidden layers and just be impressed.
-这是一种腌菜。-我只是在尝试 -|'m a pickle. -|-|'m just trying
为了弄清楚你为什么要这么做—— to figure out why you would do this --
为什么会有人这样做。 why anyone would do this.
任何人这样做的原因是，如果他们能做到， The reason anyone would do this is, if they could,
他们不能这样做，因为他们可以， which they can't, would be because they could,
-他们不能。-门开了 -which they can't. -[ Door opens]
莫蒂，我们得走了，否则我们就要迟到了。 Morty, we have to get going, or we're gonna be late.
-你爷爷在哪儿？-在这儿，亲爱的。 -Where's your grandpa? -R|CK: Right here, sweetie.
-是一个泡菜！-什么？！ -|'m a pickle! -What?!
你为什么要——啊！ Why would you -- Ugh!
听着，我们要迟到了，我们得走了。 Look, we're running late. We have to go.
你们要去哪里？ W-Where are you guys going?
我们在市中心有个约会 We have an appointment downtown
这是一个星期前制定的，每个人都同意， that was set a week ago and agreed upon by everyone,
包括你。 including you.
哦，天哪，贝丝，噢，我完全忘记了。 Oh, my God. Beth, oh, it totally slipped my mind.
天啊，天哪，我是个泡菜。 Geez, oh, man. I'm a pickle.
我的意思是，我不知道我能不能——哦，天哪。 I mean, I don't know if I can -- Ooh, geez.
瑞克，你是故意这么做的，是为了摆脱家庭咨询吗？ Rick, did you do this on purpose to get out of family counseling?
-莫蒂！-好的，贝丝。 -Morty! -|t's okay, Beth.
我理解莫蒂的怀疑。 I understand Morty's suspicion.
我以前误导过他。 I've misled him before.
莫蒂，把我转过来，我们在进行眼神交流。 Morty, turn me so we're making eye contact.
莫蒂，我向你保证，我永远也找不到办法 Morty, I assure you, I would never find a way
从家庭治疗中解脱出来。 to get out of family therapy.
我希望我的手指不够 I hope my lack of fingers doesn't prevent
对我的空中报价的看法。 the perception of my air quotes.
难道你就不能把自己变成一个人吗？ Can't you just turn yourself back into a human?
好问题，夏天。 Great question, Summer.
不幸的是，我这样做是为了挑战自己。 The unfortunate answer is I did this to challenge myself.
可能要花上几个小时甚至几天 And it could take hours or even days
在我还没弄明白如何回到人类形态之前。 before I'm able to figure out how to return to human form.
但是，我的意思是，你妈妈可以让我 But, I mean, you know, your mom could put me
在钱包或口袋里，你知道， in a purse or a pocket, you know,
如果她真的需要我去。 if she really needs me to go.
没有人需要任何东西，好的，很好。 Nobody needs anything. Okay, it's fine.
我的意思是，你应该呆在这里，弄清楚 I mean, you should just stay here and figure out
如何停止做泡菜？ how to stop being a pickle, okay?
嘿，瑞克，为什么会有一筒神秘的液体 Hey, Rick, why is there a syringe of mysterious fluid
直接挂在你头上？ hanging directly over you?
还有，为什么连接到它的字符串 Also, why is the string attached to it running through
为什么计时器设置在10分钟后， And why is the timer set to 10 minutes from now,
确切地说，我们什么时候会去接受治疗？ exactly when we would have left for therapy?
嗯，莫蒂，如果你一定要知道， Well, Morty, if you must know,
这个注射器和这个讨论完全无关 the syringe is completely unrelated to this discussion
因此，不需要进一步解释。 and, therefore, does not warrant further explanation.
够了。孩子们，该走了。我们不想迟到。 Enough. Kids, it's time to go. We don't want to be late.
你在那里干什么，贝丝？ W-W-What are you doing there, Beth?
你在那做什么，亲爱的？ W-What are you doing there, sweetie?
我的意思是，你不希望被针扎穿 Well, I mean, you don't want to get pierced by a needle
充满了与你的处境无关的液体。 full of liquid unrelated to your situation.
这有什么用呢？ How's that gonna help?
这是不能反驳的。 Can't argue with that.
太好了。待会儿见。 Great. We'll see you later.
嘿，嘿，小心点。 Hey, hey, be careful with that.
-t代表其他的东西。-车门打开，关闭 -|t's for something else. -[ Car doors open, close]
-引擎启动-t非常重要， -[ Engine starts] -|t's really important,
所以不要破坏它。 so don't break it.
好吧，我可能在这里搞砸了。 Okay, I may have fucked up here.
呻吟 [Groans]
Dup，ap，ap，pap，ut，哒，pap，pap，pap，帕。 Dup, ap, ap, pap, ut, dah, pap, pap, pap, pah.
T-T-Tah，塔塔。 T-T-Tah, tah.
吹树莓 [ Blowing raspberries]
呻吟 [Groans]
舌音 [Clicking tongue]
-猫喵喵-哦，太好了。 -[ Cat meows ] -Oh, great.
笨猫。 Stupid cat.
猫嗅，猫头鹰 [ Cat sniffs, yowls]
哇，哇，哇，哇，我知道它是什么样子的 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I know what it looks like
对你来说，Izzy，但我不是蛇！ to you, Izzy, but I'm not a snake!
我看过YouTube视频，我知道猫很害怕 I've seen the YouTube videos. I know cats are scared
黄瓜和腌菜因为他们认为自己是蛇。 of cucumbers and pickles because they think they're snakes.
-嘶嘶-不是蛇！ -[ Hisses] -|'m not a snake!
我是泡菜，我是泡菜！ I'm a pickle, I'm a pickle!
哇！咕噜声 Whoa! [Grunts]
哦，哇，哇，哇！ Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
呻吟 [Groans]
哦，天哪，太阳很亮。 Oh, crap, that sun is bright.
好吧，来吧。 Okay, come on.
这不可能是我出去的方式。 This can't really be the way I go out.
这是一个超级天才的等价物 This is the mega-genius equivalent
死在马桶上。 of dying on the toilet.
太热了。 So hot.
这就是我将要死去的方式。 This is how I'm gonna die.
雷轰隆声 [Thunder rumbles]
哦，天啊，湿气。 Oh, God, moisture.
哦，天啊，湿气。把它拨回去，上帝。 Oh, God, the moisture. Dial it back, God.
在这里再拨一点！ Dial it back a little bit here!
哦，哦。 Oh! Oh.
喘气的 [Gasping ]
咕哝的 [Grunting]
哦，天哪！ Oh, God!
垂直，垂直！ Perpendicular, perpendicular!
哦，该死！ Oh, shit!
噢！噢！ Oh! Oh!
尖叫 [Screaming]
咕哝的 [Grunting]
哦！ Oh!
吱吱叫 [Squeaking]
来吧，就这样。 Come on. That's it.
来吃这美味的盐水。 Come get this delicious brine.
啊！ Aah!
-尖叫-咕噜声 -[ Squeals] -[ Grunts]
别来了！来吧，混蛋！ [Muffled ] Come on! Come on, motherfucker!
来吧！ Come on!
咕哝的 [Grunting]
大声咀嚼 [Loud crunch]
喘气的 [Panting]
是的！ Yes!
这甚至是家庭疗法 How is this even family therapy
如果爸爸不被邀请，爷爷就不来了？ if Dad's not invited and Grandpa won't come?
是啊，吃热狗有什么勇气？ Yeah, and what's courageous about eating a hot dog?
没有人可以选择在这里，你的旋钮。 It's nobody's choice to be here, you knobs.
家人被告知要接受你的校长的辅导， The family was told to get counseling by your principal,
尽管这并不是一个家庭 even though it's not the family that was
艺术室里的陶瓷釉 huffing pottery glaze in the art room
在历史课上尿床。 and desk wetting in history class.
-门打开-哦，史密斯一家， -[ Door opens] -Oh, the Smith family,
减去一个父亲。 minus a dad.
你也是黄博士的病人吗？ You're patients of Dr. Wong, too?
暂时——按学校的顺序。 Temporarily -- by order of the school.
我也是。你们都吃大便多久了？ Me too. How long have you all been eating poop?
我们……从来没有……吃过大便。 We...have never...eaten poop.
呃，我也不知道。 Uh, me, neither.
比如说，我的家人到哪里去了？ Say, where did my family get off to? [Chuckles]
史密斯一家，我是黄博士。 Smith family, I'm Dr. Wong.
进来吧。 Come on in.
有人告诉我有一个爷爷可能会加入我们吗？ I was told there was a grandpa that might be joining us?
他被一项实验所包围。 He got wrapped up in an experiment.
他是个科学家。 He's a scientist.
就像，合法的，就像在星际间， Like, legit, like on a an inter-galactic,
他的作品非常—— scLﬁleveL His work is very --
他把自己变成了一个腌菜。 He turned himself into a pickle.
莫蒂，妈妈在说话，我很抱歉。 Morty, Mom's talking. I'm sorry.
我想这是一个很好的segue I suppose that's a good segue
在我们的小纪律案件中。 into our little discipline cases here.
爷爷经常把自己变成泡菜吗？ Does Grandpa turn himself into a pickle a lot?
什么？！不！这是什么问题？ What?! No! What kind of question is that?
那种不是用来攻击或伤害你的那种。 The kind that wasn't designed to attack or hurt you in any way.
哦，耶稣基督，这其中的一个。 Oh, Jesus Christ, one of these.
不，我父亲以前从来没有把自己变成泡菜。 No, my father has never turned himself into a pickle before.
他是不可预测和古怪的。 He's unpredictable and eccentric.
整个家庭都是。说到…… The whole family is. Speaking of which...
好了，让我们向整个家庭敞开大门， Okay, let's open things up to the whole family,
让我问这个问题。 and let me ask this.
为什么我们认为爷爷把自己变成了泡菜？ Why do we think Grandpa turned himself into a pickle?
锯切 [Sawing ]
叹息 [Sighs]
哇，啊！ Wow. Ugh!
咆哮 [Snarling]
嘿，听着，我知道这是你的世界，不是我的。 Hey, listen, I know this is your world, not mine.
我越早离开，我就能越快回去 The sooner I can get out, the sooner I can go back
你可以回到他们的生活中去，你可以回到他们的生活中去。 to taking big craps, and you can go back to subsisting on them.
你是一只被驱使的老鼠。 You are one driven rat.
你能更有动力吗？ Could you be a little more driven?
向右。 To the right.
是的，是的，是的！ Yes, yes, yes!
来吧，来吧，来吧！新鲜，新鲜，新鲜！ Come on, come on, come on! Fresh, fresh, fresh!
哇，哇，哇，这是你的朋友吗？ Whoa, whoa, whoa, was this your friend?
别担心，他死了，做他喜欢的事， Don't worry, he died doing what he loved,
做一只该死的老鼠。 being a dumb fucking rat.
咕哝声 [Grunts]
咆哮，尖叫 [Snarling, screeching]
戏剧音乐戏剧 [Dramatic music plays]
哦，耶！ Oh, yeah!
咕哝的 [Grunting]
笑 [Laughs]
老鼠尖声叫 [Rats squealing]
咕哝的 [Grunting]
啊！ Aaaah!
我并没有说我的父亲是完美的， I didn't say my father is perfect,
我说他的工作很重要。 I said his work is important.
她说重要的是 And she's saying what's important is
那个爷爷骗你走了过来。 that Grandpa lied to you to get out of coming here.
哦，他没有！ Oh, he did not!
我们来做个实验。 Let's do an experiment here.
我给人的印象是这个家庭重视科学。 I get the impression this family values science.
所以如果你觉得肯定，请举手 So raise your hand if you feel certain
你知道注射器里有什么。 you know what was in the syringe.
如果你知道，请举手 Raise your hand if you know for certain
注射器不含抗酸洗液。 the syringe does not contain anti-pickle serum.
贝丝，你的手在那里做了一件小事情。 Beth, your hand did a little thing there.
你真的不知道这里发生了什么吗？ Do you really not see what's happening here?
-告诉我-好吧，黄博士 -Tell me. -Well, Dr. Wong --
顺便说一下，种族主义的名字—— by the way, racist name --
显然，莫蒂和夏天抓住了你 obviously, Morty and Summer are seizing on your
任意的泡菜痴迷作为最终的结果 arbitrary pickle obsession as an end run
大概是他们的治疗方法。 around what was supposed to be their therapy.
哦，我认为这个泡菜事件比其他任何一个都好 Oh, I think this pickle incident is a better path than any other
这是你家庭功能失调的核心。 to the heart of your family's dysfunction.
我认为你和你的父亲是有可能的 I think it's possible that you and your father
有一个非常具体的动态。 have a very specific dynamic.
我不认为这是一个 I don't think it's one
这是对情感或脆弱的奖励。 that rewards emotion or vulnerability.
我认为这可能会惩罚他们。 I think it may punish them.
我认为有可能是动态侵蚀了你的婚姻 I think it's possible that dynamic eroded your marriage
让你的孩子有一种倾向 and is infecting your kids with a tendency
误导他们的感情。 to misdirect their feelings.
去你的。 Fuck you.
-妈妈！-妈妈！ -Mom! -Mom!
你们两个都他妈的。 Fuck both of you, too.
咆哮 [Snarling]
顺便说一下，你可能会注意到 By the way, you might notice that in spite of
你众多与众不同的特点 your numerous distinctive features
我从来没有给过你一个名字，像伤疤、条纹或歌里。 [growls] I never gave you a name like Scar or Stripe or Goliath.
那是因为，对我来说，你并不特别。 That's because, to me, you aren't special.
你对老鼠很特别，现在它们都死了。 You were special to rats. Now they're dead.
我想是我应该给你留下深刻印象的。 I guess it was me you should have impressed.
该死的，我爱我自己。 God damn it, I love myself.
泡菜里克！ Pickle Rick!
咕哝的 [Grunting]
叹息 [Sighs]
咕哝的 [Grunting]
快跑到那个跑酷的地方去。 Get that parkour. Get that parkour!
咕哝声 [Grunts]
升降梯 [Elevator dings]
-都在喘气-嘿，这很酷。 -[ All gasp] -Hey, it's cool.
只需要找到最近的出口。 Just need to find the nearest exit.
哇，哇，哇！没必要惊慌。 Whoa, whoa, whoa! No need to freak out.
用俄语大喊 [Shouting in Russian]
哇！ Whoa!
喘气的 [Panting]
这是谁在他妈的厕所？ Who in the fuck's toilet is this?
警报声 [Alarm blaring]
这是什么？ What is it?
俄罗斯口音是泡菜？一只老鼠？两者都有。 [Russian accent] A pickle? A rat? Both.
俄罗斯口音说它是一个科学家。 [Russian accent] It says it's a scientist.
它在哪里？ Where is it?
它似乎在使用空气导管 It seems to be using the air ducts
还有邮筒四处走动。 and the mail tubes to get around.
我们一直在收集办公用品， It's been gathering office supplies, we think,
建造武器。 to build weaponry.
但看看它在夹层中做了什么。 But look what it did on the mezzanine.
它把一个瓶子从垃圾中转移到回收箱。 It transferred a bottle from the trash to the recycling bin.
不管这是什么，它让我们感到羞愧。 Whatever this thing is, it's shaming us.
我们有34个武装警卫，我们不能杀死泡菜？ We have 34 armed guards, and we can't kill a pickle?
32名武装警卫。 32 armed guards.
他杀了两个人。 He killed two.
在电话里。 It's on the phone.
把他戴上，找到他正在使用的手机。 Put him on, and locate the phone he's using.
-电话哔哔声-他瞧。 -[ Phone beeps] -He|lo.
里克：嗨，嗯，你能不能让我出去？ RICK: Hi, um, can you, uh [belches] please let me out?
你在这栋楼里的存在 Your mere presence in this building
违反国际法。 violates international law.
即使你没有杀死两个人，我也不能让你出去。 I couldn't let you out even if you hadn't killed two men.
你应该知道那些人自杀了。 You should know those men killed themselves.
帕维尔：那是怎么回事？ PAVEL: And how is that?
里克：他们没有让我出去。 RICK: They didn't [belches] let me out.
我是。 Solen'ya.
闭上你的嘴，做你的工作， Shut your mouth and do yourjobs,
你这该死的孩子！ you fucking children!
呃，这不是一个好时机，还是…… Uh, is this not a good time or...
我的一些人叫你“Solen”—— Some of my men are calling you "Solen'ya" --
他从一碗冷汤里爬出来 He crawls from bowls of cold soup
去偷那些浪费孩子的梦想。 to steal the dreams of wasteful children.
里克：那对你来说是一个幸运的突破。 RICK: That'd be a lucky break for you.
去，开枪杀人。 Go, shoot to kill.
啊！ Aaah!
两声尖叫 [ Both scream ]
远处炮火 [Gunfire in distance]
我们有俄罗斯口音。 [Russian accent] We got him.
里克：因为这个泡菜 RICK: Because this pickle
不关心你的孩子。 doesn't care about your children.
我不会接受他们的梦想。 And I'm not gonna take their dreams.
我要带走他们的父母。 I'm gonna take their parents.
哔哔声 [ Beeping ]
呼呼声 [Whirring]
尖叫 [Screaming]
啊！他来了！ Solen'ya! He's coming!
因为我把三明治扔到一半了！ It's because I threw halfway my sandwich!
他只是个小麻烦！ He's just a pickle!
他是个怪物。 He's a monster.
他不是唯一的一个。 He's not the only one.
哔哔声 [Beep]
你可以死在这个世界上，死在这个房间里。 You can stay dead to the world and die in this room.
或者你可以为我杀一个泡菜，并获得你的自由。 Or you can kill a pickle for me and earn your freedom.
当你的领导呼吸时，没有自由。 There is no freedom while your leader breathes.
我们的国家是一座监狱。 Our country is a prison.
卡特琳娜是一个囚犯。 Then Catarina is a prisoner.
也许我也可以安排她逃跑。 Perhaps I could arrange her escape, as well.
她活着，美洲虎。 She lives, Jaguar.
这个泡菜在哪儿？ Where is this pickle?
你觉得注射器里有什么，贝丝？ What do you think is in the syringe, Beth?
你是那个每小时200美元的人，你告诉我。 You're the one that costs $200 an hour. You tell me.
-抗酸血清。-t的抗酸盐血清。 -Anti-pick|e serum. -|t's anti-pickle serum.
你的孩子认为它可能是抗酸菜血清。 Your kids think it might be anti-pickle serum.
我的孩子们尿在桌子上，吸着未烤的花瓶。 My kids pee their desks and suck on unbaked vases.
他们只是因为我和他们的父亲离婚而生气。 They're just angry at me for divorcing their father.
我从没说过我生你的气。 I never said I was angry at you.
这就是夏天的时候。 That's the point of pottery-enamel huffing, Summer.
你这样做，所以你不必说， You do it so you don't have to say,
“我对妈妈很生气，”大声说。 "I'm angry at Mommy," out loud.
哦，我的天啊！ Oh, my God! Oh, there --
这里有一些人在那里吃便便的照片！ there's pictures of people eating poop in there!
我的工作不是站在一边或通过判断。 It's not my job to take sides or pass judgment.
你觉得当你父亲要那个注射器的时候， Do you think when your father asks for that syringe,
你可以问他—— you could ask him --
他不需要问这个问题，好吗？ He won't have to ask for it, okay?
他不需要，他只会赚更多的钱。 He won't need it. He'll just make more.
他不需要任何人的任何东西。 He doesn't need anything from anyone.
你真佩服他。 You admire him for that.
这比解决你的问题好 It's better than making your problems
别人的问题。 other people's problems.
呼呼声 [Whirring]
尖叫 [Screams]
哦，来吧，哼哼 Oh, come on! [Grunts]
尖叫 [Screams]
呻吟 [Groans]
叹息 [Sighs]
泡菜人，你应该知道这不是私人的！ Pickle Man, you should know this isn't personal!
你应该知道那不是原创的。 You should know that isn't original.
他们有我的女儿。 They have my daughter.
我再也不想见到她了。 There's nothing I won't do to see her again.
是的，有很多我不会去看我女儿的， Yeah, there's lots I wouldn't do to see my daughter,
但是杀了你让我更快 but killing you gets me to her quicker
而不是你的衍生废话。 than your derivative bullshit.
呻吟 [Groaning]
两声尖叫 [ Both screaming ]
我从不胡说，腌菜人。 I never bullshit, Pickle Man.
只有一个人死了， This can only end with one of us dead,
我从来没有死过。 and I have never died.
那将是你的失败，美洲虎， That will be your downfall, Jaguar,
不愿接受新的体验。 not being open to new experiences.
炮火 [Gunfire]
完成了吗？ Is it done?
美洲虎？！ Jaguar?!
瑞克：捷豹无法成功。 RICK: Jaguar couldn't make it.
做吧。 PAVE L: Do it.
好吧，你赢了，泡菜人。 Okay, you win, Pickle Man.
我正在拆大楼。 I'm unsealing the building.
瑞克：不，谢谢。我现在就来找你。 RICK: No, thanks. I'm coming for you now.
腌菜人，价值1亿美元的债券 Pickle Man, there's $100 million worth of bonds
在二级安全的地方。 in a safe on level two.
我给你一个组合。 I'll give you the combination.
那些钱是属于人民的。 That money belongs to the people.
闭嘴，叫我一架直升飞机，你这个混蛋！ Shut up and call me a helicopter, you prick!
我们有协议吗？ Do we have a deal?!
瑞克：把那笔钱给捷豹的女儿 RICK: Take that money, give it to Jaguar's daughter
当你让她自由的时候。 when you set her free.
不然我就去拜访你。 Or I'll be visiting you.
帕维尔：美洲虎的女儿死了。 PAVEL: Jaguar's daughter is dead.
嗯，你是个骗子。 Huh, so you're a liar.
帕维尔：美洲虎是一种动物。 PAVEL: Jaguar was an animal.
你是一个聪明的泡菜。 You're an intelligent pickle.
我们可以做生意。 We can do business.
瑞克：我不这么认为。再见。 RICK: I don't think so. See you soon.
-直升机在这里吗？-是的。 -Is the helicopter here? -Yes.
警察在路上，我们怎么告诉他们？ And the police are on the way. What do we tell them?
-哦！-啊！ -Ooh! -Aah!
告诉他们我们被抢劫了。 Tell them we were robbed.
直升机叶片旋转 [Helicopter blades whirring]
嘿！嘿，你在干什么？！ Hey! Hey, what are you doing?!
我就在这里！ I'm right here!
再见了，Solen'ya。 Farewell, Solen'ya.
F-15s是紧急的。 F-15s are scrambled.
这架直升机将在7分钟内被击落。 This helicopter will be shot down in seven minutes.
我女儿大约五岁， Well, my daughter is about five away,
我还有8个要活。 and I've got about eight to live.
腌菜人，我来不及告诉我的女儿 Pickle Man, it's too late for me to tell my daughter
我爱她，但不是为你。 I love her, but not for you.
哦，呃，她知道。 Oh, well, uh, she knows.
我的意思是，我们并不是真的喜欢这种垃圾。 I mean, we don't really buy into that kind of crap.
在某种程度上，爱是一种表达 To the extent that love is an expression
随着时间的推移，我对无限时间线的访问 of familiarity over time, my access to infinite timelines
排除了依恋的必要性。 precludes the necessity of attachment.
事实上，我甚至抛弃了我的一个无限的女儿 In fact, I even abandoned one of my infinite daughters
在一个被突变体接管的地球的另一个版本中。 in an alternate version of earth that was taken over by mutants.
好，祝你好运。 Okay. Good luck with that.
等等，我有无限的女儿吗？ Wait. Do l have infinite daughters?
嗯？呃，不，不，不，抱歉。 Huh? Uh, no. No, nope, sorry about that.
不，只是我。 Nope, just me.
是。 am...
害怕…… afraid...
我的孩子会被开除。 that my kids will get expelled.
好。夏天，你去吧。 Good. Summer, you go.
疯疯癫癫的。 lam mad...
我不能用搪瓷 that I can't huff enamel
没有人认为这是因为我的家庭很糟糕。 without people assuming it's because my family sucks.
我希望有一天能看到 I hope to be seen one day
作为一个喜欢高高在上的人。 as someone that just likes getting high.
干得好。 Good job.
莫蒂，你有“我”的说法吗？ Morty, do you have an "I" statement?
蓝悲伤…… lam sad...
我撒尿。 that I peed.
我很难过，我在课堂上撒尿，而不是去厕所。 I'm sad that I peed in class instead of a toilet.
看看这个家庭，你们是专业的。 Look at this family go. You guys are pros.
你们觉得一周做一次怎么样？ What do you guys think about doing this once a week?
呃。 Ugh.
咕哝声 [Grunts]
呻吟 [Groans]
-你一定是瑞克。-嗯。 -You must be Rick. -Mm-hmm.
我今天听了很多关于你的事。 I've heard a lot about you today.
你的家人为你疯狂。 Your family is crazy about you.
你的女儿非常尊敬你。 Your daughter holds you in very high regard.
你是个幸运的家伙。 You're a lucky fella.
是的，谢谢你，亲爱的，你现在还不知道 Yeah, thank you. Uh, sweetie, you don't still
你的钱包里有那个注射器吗？ happen to have that syringe in your purse?
爸爸。 Dad...
我想让你告诉我注射器里有什么。 I would like you to tell me what's in the syringe.
这是一种我需要的血清来维持生命。 It's a serum that I need to, uh -- to stay alive.
我度过了艰难的一天。 I have had a rough day.
而且，嗯，我遭受了很多损失。 And, uh, I've sustained a lot of damage.
我离死亡很近，血清会阻止死亡。 I'm pretty close to death, which the serum will prevent.
把你从一个泡菜变成一个人。 By changing you from a pickle to a human.
是的。 Yes.
里克，你为什么对你的女儿撒谎？ Rick, why did you lie to your daughter?
所以我不需要来这里。 So I wouldn't have to come here.
你为什么不想来这里？ Why didn't you want to come here?
因为我不尊重治疗，因为我是科学家。 Because I don't respect therapy, because I'm a scientist.
因为我发明，改造，创造，毁灭 Because I invent, transform, create, and destroy
为了谋生，当我不喜欢某样东西的时候 for a living, and when I don't like something
关于这个世界，我改变了它。 about the world, I change it.
我不认为去一个购物中心的租赁办公室 And I don't think going to a rented office in a strip mall
听一些平均水平的代理 to listen to some agent of averageness
解释哪些词是什么意思 explain which words mean which feelings
曾经帮助过任何人做任何事。 has ever helped anyone do anything.
我想这对很多人来说是有帮助的 I think it's helped a lot of people get comfortable
不要惊慌失措，这是一种精神状态 and stop panicking, which is a state of mind
我们在吃的动物身上有价值 [burps] we value in the animals we eat
但这不是我想要的。 but not something I want for myself.
我不是一头牛。 I'm not a cow.
当我想要的时候，我是一个泡菜。 I'm a pickle -- when I feel like it.
所以。你问。 So...you asked.
Rick，唯一的联系 Rick, the only connection between
你毫无疑问的智慧和疾病 your unquestionable intelligence and the sickness
摧毁你的家庭是你家庭中的每个人， destroying your family is that everyone in your family,
你包括，用智慧来证明疾病。 you included, use intelligence to justify sickness.
你似乎在审视自己的思想 You seem to alternate between viewing your own mind
作为一股不可阻挡的力量和不可避免的诅咒。 as an unstoppable force and as an inescapable curse.
我认为这是唯一的原因 And I think it's because the only
真正难以接近的概念 truly unapproachable concept for you
是你的思想在你的控制之内。 is that it's your mind within your control.
你选择来这里。 You chose to come here.
你选择了谈话，贬低我的职业， You chose to talk, to belittle my vocation,
就像你选择成为一个泡菜一样。 just as you chose to become a pickle.
你是你宇宙的主宰， You are the master of your universe,
然而，你却在滴着老鼠的血和粪便， and yet you are dripping with rat blood and feces,
你那巨大的心灵，用你自己的手在植物上生长。 your enormous mind literally vegetating by your own hand.
我毫不怀疑你会感到无聊 I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless
通过治疗，就像我刷牙时感到无聊一样 by therapy, the same way I'm bored when I brush my teeth
把我的屁股擦干净。 and wipe my ass.
因为关于修理的事情， Because the thing about repairing,
保持和清洁并不是一种冒险。 maintaining, and cleaning is it's not an adventure.
没有办法这么做是错的，你可能会死。 There's no way to do it so wrong, you might die.
这只是工作。 It's just work.
最重要的是， And the bottom line is,
有些人可以去工作，有些人。 some people are okay going to work, and some people...
好吧，有些人宁愿死。 well, some people would rather die.
我们每个人都可以选择。 Each of us gets to choose.
-看哔哔声-那是我们的时间。 -[ Watch beeps ] -That's our time.
我要把我的名片给你们 I'm going to give you guys my card
希望能再次收到你的来信。 and hope to hear from you again.
如果你有朋友或家人吃粪便 And if you have any friends or family that eat poop
我想停下来，给他们我的电话号码。 and would like to stop, give them my number.
我，嗯。 I, um...
对不起，我说谎是为了逃避这件事。 I'm sorry I lied to get out of the thing.
-我不应该骗你。-哦，没事的。 -| -- I shouldn't lie to you. -Oh, it's fine.
我的意思是，谢谢你，是的，你不应该这样做。 I mean, thank you, and, yeah, you shouldn't.
但我希望你们知道这不是 But I hope you know that's not what
那个会议应该是。 that session was supposed to be.
哦，不，我的意思是，我知道他在尿裤子 Oh, no, I mean, I know it was Morty peeing his pants
还有夏天的打鼻胶之类的。 and Summer snorting glue or whatever...
贝丝笑了 [Beth laughs]
她用牙釉质，我们甚至都没说过。 She huffed enamel, and we never even talked about it.
里克：嗯，还有更多的利害关系。 RICK: Well, there was so much more at stake.
贝丝笑了 [Beth laughs]
瑞克：我的意思是，那个萎缩，一个独白。 RICK: I mean, that shrink, what a monologuist.
我们要回去吗？ Are we gonna go back?
亲爱的，我能拿那个注射器吗？ Sweetie, could I get -- get that syringe now?
哦，我的天，是的！爸爸，它在我的钱包里。 Oh, my God, yes! Dad, it's in my purse.
哦，对不起，你一定很痛苦。 Oh, I'm sorry. You must be in agony.
呃。 Eh.
呻吟 [Groans]
咳嗽 [Coughing]
耶稣。 Jesus.
咳嗽 [Coughs]
耶稣基督，治疗师，伙计。 Jesus Christ. Therapists, man.
怪异的品种。 Weird breed.
伙计，我错过了双手…… Man, I missed having hands...
还有血和胃。 and blood and a stomach.
我们应该去喝一杯。 We should get a drink.
真的吗？比如，去什么地方？ Really? Like, go somewhere?
是啊，让我们把孩子们放下来，打个平手。 Yeah, let's drop the kids off and go tie one on.
当然。 Absolutely.
我喜欢她。 I-I liked her.
你在想什么，比如，斯莫基的酒馆？ So what are you thinking, like, Smokey's Tavern?
也许是骗人的？ Maybe Shoney's?
是的，埃赫隆，埃赫隆。 Yeah,eHherone. Eﬂherone.
戏剧音乐戏剧 [Dramatic music plays]
瑞克：你永远也不会明白，协奏曲。 RICK: You'll never get away with this, Concerto.
你错了，桑切斯先生。 That is where you're mistaken, Mr. Sanchez.
这将是我有史以来最伟大的表演！ This shall be my greatest performance of all time!
月光奏奏曲 ["Moonlight Sonata" plays]
瑞克：就是这样，莫蒂。我们要走了。 RICK: This is it, Morty. We're goners.
我们不会从这个问题中走出来的。 We're not getting out of this one.
在我们经历过的一切之后， After everything we've been through,
这就是我们将要死去的方式。 this is how we're gonna die.
与你的神和好。 Make peace with your god.
哦，天啊，瑞克，我——我不想死！ Oh, geez, Rick, I-I-I don't want to die!
现在来看看“电子splat”！ And now for the E-splat!
咕哝声 [Grunts]
捷豹 Jaguad
谁——是谁，瑞克？ Who -- Who was that, Rick?
莫蒂，这就是为什么你不去接受治疗的原因。 That, Morty, is why you don't go to therapy.