We have raised your hand.
So for those of you
who read my new book, The Courtesan Complex, and I hope you do,
even if you have to get it from the library, you'll find
a big fat chapter called Sexual Fantasies and fantastic
sex patients I work with here at the Olympic Clinic.
Listeners who write to us, people I meet around the country,
everyone thinks that his sexual fantasies or her sexual fantasies are unique
and personal, and perhaps even a little shameful.
We get a lot of Collin's about that, and the fact is
that those fantasies are as common and as healthy as rain.
The big secret is everybody's got them.
For women, one of the most common
fantasies is that of being a courtesan, highly desired,
incredibly beautiful prostitute, bestowing her favors on her chosen lover.
In the
few moments I have left, I want to make the point
that everybody dreams the same sexy dream.
So don't be shy about including it in your love games
as long as they're just games.
I give you my permission.
The book, again, is the courtesan complex.
And until next time, this is Dr.
John Allenby suggesting that a rich sexual fantasy life is as important
to good sex as choosing the right lover.
Bye bye for now.
Oh. Well, now
well, now why did you ever leave me?
I'll give you three seconds to run into my male domination
one I hate your business trips to.
I hate my business trips. three.
Oh boy.
Mm hmm.
And do
we really get serious about this tonight in Chicago?
He can't go with, you know, David, you promise, I promise
you you're on a television show and the deal makes here tomorrow. L.A.
What's more important anyway?
Happiness or money? The Dr. Allenby Clinic.
Oh, those damn. Radio conditions.
The good old syndication.
Catch your meeting.
Wait another day now, so you'll have to carry the flag in Chicago.
I hate it.
Come with me.
Not a prayer.
She's crazy about him.
I haven't got a chance.
Madge, did you call a car for Dr.
Allenby limos waiting downstairs?
He may not be so crazy about her.
There may be hope, yet, Dr.
Julie, you believe
me, one day in Chicago will do it.
You'll dazzle the buyers and head for the hills.
You know what fat chance means?
Yeah.
Joan, I've been a new paper for the journal Narcissism and Fragility.
You might take a look at it on the plane.
I will if I get time.
Simon, did you enjoy my broadcast?
What makes you think I listen to a doctor?
If I hated a program as much as you hate mine,
I'd probably listen out of sheer malicious spite.
Cheap, shoddy commercialization.
Actually, I there's nothing cheap about it.
So you need to get a move on.
Plane tickets,
itinerary limo will meet you at O'Hare. Yes.
Hotel reservations and Agatha Christie.
If nothing else, she'll help you sleep.
Cindy, how could I survive without charge?
You can't.
It's job security.
But by.
For a couple of lovesick kids, be sure to have a hard time get together.
Oh, good, that sounds like guilt, but there's guilt, there's hope.
Did you call your mother today
and when was the last time you made love to me?
I don't remember.
Oh, very good.
Does that make you feel guilty?
It just makes me want to make love to you.
Wait for me.
Come.
I adore you.
Ladies and gentlemen, we regret Flight 141
to Chicago O'Hare Airport to be delayed.
Dr. Allen, we anticipate
finally boarded the fraid not the airport still socked in.
What about Burbank, Bangor, one of the other airports?
Dr. Allenby may make a suggestion.
Why don't you get a good night's sleep and one of the airport hotels
and I can book you on the first flight?
I'm going to sleep.
I can do better than a hotel.
I appreciate all you're having.
My pleasure.
I enjoyed reading the hottest new contracts for Chicago O'Hare.
I enjoyed writing it.
We regret all flights.
Departing and arriving will be delayed until.
Well, Mr.
Bruce Phillips, please go to the white courtesy phone
in the.
Good evening, Dr.
Allenby. Hello.
Final exams, yes.
Law School, Everydays final exams.
You think so, Councilor?
Try a doctorate in psychology.
Is it is or.
A kind of disability,
ovarian chocolate cream.
The brand name brand.
What about you talked to Jill?
Rice pudding.
Alex,
thank you for playing with us and have a nice day.
The passengers probably flight tonight
may pack up your bags and.
Hello.
Tell me how much you missed.
We made the TV deal that much.
Yes, I give it to you.
Gladly.
How was Chicago like an all day dental appointment?
David, you.
How long we've been together?
Business or pleasure?
Take your pick.
three years.
You ever get tired of it?
Come on.
Typekit tired the Sun.
Still, I think it's time we took some of my professional advice.
Advised me, Dr.
Fun and games.
What flavor?
So that's Sleep Girl.
And Mr.
Singh, choir boy.
Whatever that, that's whatever.
We've got the reception at the music center tonight.
Is that really what you want to?
What do I really want to do?
There's a cocktail lounge called Buckets.
Maybe there is none.
Boy, I got plans for you.
She wanted me to.
John?
Oh, thank God, you've come.
I've forgotten everyone's name.
Thanks.
Ellen, it looks like a wonderful turnout.
Well, not comes space to the prying open of the checkbook.
Go circulate, get money for music.
Married women circulated, single women mingle.
John Walter, I didn't know you were going to be here tonight,
but I'm testing my agoraphobia.
If I just handle this, I can get any
help. Where's David?
He had to work.
Oh, well, one of the two of us find a quiet corner and share some orders.
I'll protect you from the ramble.
I'd love to Walter, but the committee members are supposed to mix.
Enjoy the cuts.
Excuse me.
Oh, what a marvelous hat, I love it.
Thank you.
I don't believe we've met.
I'm Helen Hendricks from the committee.
Have you ever considered making a donation?
And the.
Competition, I've seen her before
she buy the chair, the idea that she didn't
deliver this myself.
Drinks are on us.
Hi, I'm Lisa.
Hi, Lisa matches.
That's for friendship.
And then just.
Good luck, Lisa.
What?
Hello, Sailor.
You come here often
you're playing games during.
And I'm not sure I'm Lisa.
Come on.
David, loosen up.
Play with me on that.
How do you like your Lisa?
He has never looked more delectable.
Would you like to take Lisa home with you?
Say it.
Yes, money.
You know,
started. Huh.
Yeah.
Come on up and see the doctor is Lisa Doctor.
Well, you see what kind of doctor?
Good evening, Mr.
continued.
How long till the bar next for Mr.
Kincaid will define?
Yeah, well, working nights are plenty of studying time.
That's the way I did it.
Why don't we whispering for?
Others sleeping in.
This.
five.
It's my evening.
I'm in show.
You're forbidden to do anything.
Michael?
Wait till you see
what I can do with it. It.
I wrote the book No.
Instrument of absolute pleasure.
Duncan.
Just for a minute.
Don't look.
Get ready for my real surprise.
I'm almost ready now. And.
If I were a desert,
what kind of desert would I be?
Sorry, but you came to.
Really?
Spend the rest of my life just watching you walk toward me.
Thank you.
And now you can watch.
Well, after we did it concert at all.
What do you think? Big success.
I think everything came off perfectly.
OK, so let me get this straight,
this is a complete log here of everyone that came in and when out.
That's right.
Excuse me, Dr. Allenby.
Dr. Holmby, I'm sorry.
Thank you, Ozzie.
I don't think I believe it yet.
Mr. Bob, thank you.
Thank you, Joe.
And what was your statement yesterday?
Well, Joe,
you know, what can I say?
I know Cindy. Thank you, Joe.
It's so awful.
I feel so bad.
Thank you.
There's so much to feel bad about.
Yeah. Yes.
My sister decided she wanted to go.
Lieutenant Columbo.
This is Dr.
Allenby, Joan.
This is Lieutenant Columbo from the police.
You're Dr. Allenby.
I've been looking forward to meeting you and here
we rode all the way up in the elevator together.
I'm I'm very sorry, ma'am, about what happened.
I'm not sure what happened, lieutenant.
The call said David is dead shot to death last night.
That's all I know.
It's not a very pleasant subject.
Where did it happen in that bedroom, man?
May I see the room
doctor? I'm sorry, Dr. Alan.
These appointments are canceled until further notice.
Well, doctor, I'm not sure you'll be ready for that yet
being that you and the victim were, as I understand it, very close.
I'm not a stranger to shock lieutenant.
I want to know what happened.
All right, ma'am, if that's what you want.
John John,
I called the radio people and canceled your program for the rest of the week.
Thank you, Simon. That was very thoughtful.
Oh John, did you get a chance to look at my new paper, sir?
No, Simon.
I did not.
You know,
you saved after this is over, and I didn't want you to see.
In here,
that's where it.
There.
That's where he fell and
after the woman shot him.
The woman, if you'll forgive my saying so, mama,
very beautiful woman, very desirable here in the bedroom with Mr.
Kincaid.
We've got a description from the night security guard.
Dark hair all dressed in black with a black fedora hat.
Does that strike a chord with Mr.
Kincaid? Know anybody like that?
Or do you know anybody like that? No.
No, I didn't know that David knew anyone like that.
Is there some explanation?
It's hard to come right out and say it, but you can see there's
some kind of violence here and over here and blood on the carpet,
nothing to do with the body like he was hurting her.
I'm sorry to say, ma'am, like he was making her
do something she didn't want it to.
And she was armed,
but there was already a gun in her room
if she shot him.
At least that's the way it's easy.
I can assure you, Lieutenant, there was no gun in this room.
You know, I was wondering and.
What kind of role this?
We're psychologists here, Lieutenant.
Our patients come to us with sexual problems,
sometimes alone, sometimes in couples, sometimes a room like this
can be conducive to solving their sexual problems.
And we also use that part for lecture purposes.
You mean these people, they go to bed.
That's what the whole room was designed for.
And the people, they were watching it.
No, lieutenant, I assure you, they're quite alone.
But there's people out there.
I mean, in all people around, there are doors.
But the people out there know,
I mean, the couple was in here and a couple of energy.
I mean, they know that people out there know Lieutenant,
we're talking about there are pages that disturb you.
On and on and they just have one question and it's
part of the investigation.
Those are his things, ma'am.
What we call his affects. Yes.
After death, things have a way of turning into effect.
And David turns into a stranger.
Buckets.
I think it's some kind of a balm.
I see.
And over here, a cigaret stub, is that hers?
That's the assumption we're working under, ma'am.
Smoke.
Lieutenant?
Yes, Sergeant.
A moment then.
When you went for coffee, we found these hairs on the victim
long black hairs like a woman's.
Searched the whole area by the body.
Forget these hairs were on his right shoulder and near his chest.
Well, we have my telephone.
Can I take these things you wrote?
Not yet.
Lieutenant,
is there anything else I should know?
Oh, oh, excuse me, man, I'm terribly sorry.
We get so wrapped up in these things, you know, daycare like a woman's cigaret.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kept you waiting like that.
Ma'am, could you take another look at those effects? So.
Are you looking, ma'am?
Yes, Lieutenant, I'm looking.
These are all the things that were Mr.
Kincaid Pocket.
Do you see anything that's missing something very puzzling?
I don't think I understand his key man.
If I'm running him,
if there are any keys.
How did the victim unlock the door?
You got a flashlight.
How did they get in?
Yes, of course.
His keys are very strange.
I suppose the woman could have taken.
Yes, that's very good, lieutenant.
In a moment of panic to escape, to steal his car, she took his keys.
The man, why would she do that?
She just murdered a man.
Why would she take a chance on being seen driving his car?
I mean, even in panic, I would think
she'd want to stay as far away from that car as she could.
Yes, I see.
On the other hand.
Maybe she took the keys not to drive the car,
but to get something out of the car, which could identify
something she bought that day,
addressed the clean prescription could be anything.
That's very clever, lieutenant.
That would explain everything.
But if it didn't matter, then the lady in black.
She'd be the one who had the key to your clinic.
But if that was true, you certainly would have some idea who she might be.
You see why I'm puzzled by East Timor's
lieutenant.
I'm afraid that I'm not ready to deal with all of this yet.
Would you mind if I went back to my office?
Oh, of course not, ma'am.
I'm sorry to bother with all these questions.
I know what a terrible shock this is, but thank you for trying to shield me.
You've been very kind.
I'm sure, you know,
by now, I'm always here for you, whatever I can do.
You're very sweet, Walter.
Thank you.
This place.
All we ever seem to talk about is sex
and feelings.
It's always with strangers.
We never get to talk about our own feelings.
I would tend to give up on them.
Is it all right to intrude?
Of course, Lieutenant, you met Dr. Neff.
Oh, I think I met everyone in the clinic.
All the six doctors, psychologists, lieutenants, sex therapists.
John, believe me, one day
all this pain will just be a memory.
Could I get you some tea, lieutenant,
or thank you, ma'am? No.
All right.
Well, what can I do for you?
I just ask you a few more questions, ma'am, if you can put up with that.
I think I can manage that
from this moment, Lieutenant.
Life goes on.
That's straight.
Chin up and a smile for the world.
How's that for courage?
Well, that's a very nice smile you have to imagine.
How can I help you?
Mainly, Dr.
Allenby, it's about the victims.
Could you tell me about your relationship with the victim?
We had great sex.
OK. The victim, as you so delicately put it, was my lover.
Is there a problem with that?
Not necessarily. No.
David and I enjoyed making physical love to each other and only to each other.
At least that was my assumption in the days
when I was considerably less skeptical than I am now.
David was also my business partner and our radio and television work.
Are you familiar with my broadcasts?
Yes, I am.
The things that you say on the radio man
have very frank about what?
About Sex, Man.
Sit down.
David's love
made it possible for me to be frank in public.
Kinds of things I have to talk about
require a great deal of sexual confidence and happiness
and freedom.
David gave me all those things.
I suppose
they're the same things I try to give my patients
the freedom to love.
Does that answer your question about our relationship?
Oh, yes, ma'am.
You've made it very clear.
I think I understand.
I hope so, lieutenant, there's still one more thing.
Can you tell me about your own
primary sexual relationships?
I beg your pardon, ma'am.
A policeman just asked me a very intimate question.
And I gave a very intimate answer.
I think I have a right to know how that answer will be interpreted,
and that depends on your intimate sexual relationships.
I'm a married man, man.
Everything all right at home.
I think I'm going to be leaving now.
Thank you very much.
Don't let me drive you away, lieutenant.
Oh no, ma'am, no, I not want all the work that I have to do on this case.
I'm going to be back.
You can count on that.
Oh, we're going to learn
more about the tuba added to that.
It's a very delicate instrument as a very tiny, tiny, tiny tool,
sort of like the love song of a canary.
Listen very closely, you just won't hear it
at all.
Lucky for us,
I forgot to tell you to turn key there.
Have you ever heard a jazz tuba?
No, no.
Here's where the jazz tuba sounds like.
I would think, Oh,
OK, who wants to learn how to play the tuba here?
Come on, sit and answer you with the raincoat.
Hey, yeah.
Give him a hand, kids.
Are you a musician?
I know, sir, I'm a police.
Yeah, there you are, Mr.
Policeman, there is your tuba.
Enjoy yourself
playing
like this, sir.
Have fun
with you, sir.
And all.
Well.
Oh, yeah. Oh.
You've done this before.
Well, yeah, when I was in high school, that was the only instrument they had.
Same with me for my kids were going to have a tuba
march.
Stand up
and follow me and the policeman that match up this way.
You ready?
I'm going to try and.
Dr Adobe.
Well, I think it's a coincidence.
Here I come to the music center, I'm looking for Mr.
Kincaid.
And who do I find with you?
You were looking for David.
I for his whereabouts, ma'am, last night before the murder.
That's the outfit you're wearing. Thank you.
This is a hard question, ma'am.
And yes, sir. They don't have to answer it.
But would you mind telling me what you paid for this handbag for my bag?
It doesn't have to be exact.
I'm just a ballpark figure.
Well, this was an expensive bag lieutenant.
I paid about $400 for it.
I see my wife's birthday is coming up and I'm in the morgue.
You were telling me about David David.
Oh yes, Mr.
Kincaid.
You wouldn't happen to know where
I could get something that looked like that for about half the money.
No, lieutenant. I'm sorry. I don't.
And that briefcase man, did you get that in the same shop if you got the handbag?
Yes, I believe I did. Could I take a look at that?
If you like
or to the real McCoy man,
that's very fine stitching, but you could hardly see the stitches.
I had like one of those feathers myself.
Lieutenant, please, you were telling me about David.
I visited his office, ma'am.
And right there on his desk calendar, it said that he had a date to be here
last night, but I spoke to that committee woman, Miss Hendricks,
and she told me she never saw.
Yes. Well, we had a fundraising event last night.
I'm on the committee, so I had to be here, but it wasn't David's cup of fun.
He said he'd rather hang by his thumbs.
Well, that certainly explains why it wasn't him.
But that raises another question.
Joan.
Oh, honey.
Lieutenant Columbo just told me about Dave, and what a terrible thing to happen.
Oh, thank you, Ellen.
Oh, Lieutenant, we all think you played the tuba just beautifully.
I enjoyed it.
I got your message about the master guest list.
I brought it for you.
Lieutenant, would you mind holding this for me?
Not at all.
I put this in my briefcase
right after you called Helen.
Of all days, Joan, you shouldn't have bothered.
Well, it's better than feeling sorry for myself.
All you.
Last night when you were here at the party all evening and Mr.
Kincaid, he never showed up.
No, lieutenant, he decided not to come.
Well, as I was saying, that raises the question of where Mr.
Kincaid met that woman, the lady all dressed in black with the Black Hat.
Oh, she was certainly here.
He was me, ma'am.
A very attractive woman dressed in black with a man's black fedora.
Joan, you must have noticed her.
No, I don't believe I did.
Well, whoever she is, she was here last night.
Does that help you, lieutenant?
Well, it gives me something to think about.
It's very interesting.
Good.
All right, position number one and begin.
Very nice smile, lots of fun.
Beautiful smile. You'll do well.
Maurice Maurice, good, perfect.
OK, now we're going to get started.
Are you people you're paying good cash to learn the bartending game,
but you get out of it. It's up to you.
I'm a good bartender. Show up on time.
Do your lessons, work your workbooks.
You'll be good bartenders to.
It's up to you.
Now, one more time and begin.
Is this the bartending school, you're late?
Oh, it's been a very busy day to get behind the bar.
Right? Oh,
I'm not really a bartender.
Keep coming late to never be a bartender.
I set a green vest.
What is your green book?
What is your name of Columbo Homicide Police?
Oh, you're the one who calls. Yes.
Oh, right over here.
All right, the rest of you start in your workbooks.
Lesson one. Shirley Temples.
Get it right.
Sorry about that, Lieutenant.
How can I help you?
It's this photographs of one of my homicide victims.
He had some of your matches from that bucket bar.
They were in his pocket.
Would you recognize this man at all, sir?
Sure.
He was in last night's first timer.
But the matches don't match.
Excuse me, I didn't give him the matches.
The lady asked for matches.
She smoked
the one he picked up.
This lady?
Would I be far wrong if I said she was a very attractive lady,
all dressed in black wearing a man's black hat like that ?
I wasn't paying much attention, so I can't tell you it's me.
I'm just the bartender.
I don't have what you might call a trained policeman so well.
You'll just tell me what little, you know?
Well, the lady's another first time professional
working group called herself Lisa with no last name.
If you believe Lisa's a real name, you believe anything.
Anyway, Lisa, with no last name, knew the playbook
comes on bold and advertises herself.
Your guy walks in. She gives him the buzz.
Guy hits no wasted time in two seconds.
They are very cozy.
No strange to bugs in a rug. You know what I'm saying?
He lays some cash on or not.
They go about nine, maybe nine, 15 as happy as clams.
That is for you, pal.
That's some observation for a man who wasn't paying attention to sir.
Tell me what you think.
Well, that's very generous, sir.
That's very refreshing.
That's my Shirley Temple.
An interesting Shirley Temple,
pretty good touch of dryness, but a light sweet bouquet,
very nice.
You're a very good bartender, sir,
but I think it would make a terrific detective.
I love the work.
I good Lieutenant Soto, I served.
Forgive me, Doctor, for dropping in on you like this,
but I have some very interesting news, very stimulating.
May I please, Lieutenant, come in.
I'm anxious to hear anything you can tell me.
You certainly have a lovely home.
Thank you.
Oh, I've seen some beautiful homes.
What were the different murders and all but not many like this?
And look at that fire in the fireplace.
And it's a very chilly night, ma'am.
And there's nothing like a fire
watch, of course. And.
Excuse me, isn't that the title of your book?
Of course. And complex?
Yes, my wife. Read it, you know?
Oh yes, she enjoyed it so much.
It's just that I read it.
Did she beat you to its pages with a stick with it?
Well, I'm going to tell you the truth, man.
She was most anxious for me
to read the sexual fantasy.
I haven't yet.
Of course, in
that.
Yes, it's a polite term for a successful prostitute.
Well, that's another coincidence, Dr.
Allenby, because what I came to tell you about
is that we know a whole lot more about the lady in Black now.
Perhaps we should sit down.
Oh, no, ma'am, I'm enjoying the fire. Hmm.
The lady in black.
We have a first name for her now.
She calls herself Lisa.
I'm going to see about that briefcase there.
Oh, you can't is too close to the fire
that could have been scorched.
Thank you, Ted.
Oh, you're welcome.
Now this Lisa.
She and Mr.
Kincaid got together last night at that bar that Phuket's place.
Now this is a very bold thing to say, man.
But Lisa is one of those courtesans
like the Vice Boys School of Working Girl.
You mean David hired a prostitute?
That's the way it looks now.
And from your news about Lisa,
I guessed it was something like that.
David, picking up some working girl stranger in a bar.
Oh, I don't necessarily think they were strangers.
The picture I got from the way she turned down another man before Mr.
Kincaid came to the bar and then the way they just sat tall, very quiet.
And all I had to ask myself, Is this Lisa?
She was there waiting for Mr.
Kincaid.
And if they already knew each other.
That maybe she already had a reason to kill.
Do you think that's possible?
That's what I wanted to ask you.
Do you think that's possible
from all your research with these coalitions?
I tell you, Lieutenant, after today, I don't know what's possible
and what isn't.
I take that's above the way I feel this case.
It's already got to be crazy.
Every time I learned something new,
I get a possible new problems.
When Mr.
Kincaid told you that he wasn't
going to the party at the music center, what time was that man?
I think, yes, it was yesterday when he picked me up at the airport,
so he had plenty of time to make another arrangement for that evening.
I put this leash at a place that's reasonable knowing what we know now.
So what was the lady in black doing at the music center?
It could have been for the music.
Even courtesans conduct music lieutenant for the music.
That's what I told myself.
But when the concert started, Lisa was already get buckets,
so it couldn't have been for the music.
So what was she doing?
I'd like to try to help you, Lieutenant.
I'm very tired.
Oh, I'm sorry, I've kept you too long.
Thank you for the nice fire.
And I'll just see myself.
With my briefcase.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, look at that.
Well, it certainly is a beauty inside, ma'am.
Good night, Lieutenant.
Thank you for keeping me informed.
Dr Adobe.
Did I tell you that we found Mr Kincaid's keys?
No, you didn't.
Sergeant Burke, he found Mr Kincaid's car near bucket's.
It was parked in some valet parking place.
I see.
So the lady in black?
She couldn't have taken the keys from the murder scene.
The keys were never there.
The keys were at the valet parkers.
So that still leaves that other problem, ma'am.
How did Mr Kincaid unlock the door to your clinic?
You see, however, then keep dropping out on me
as case by.
I don't know what to tell you trying to sleep well.
Yes, one more thing, Madeleine.
Just for my reports, Jeb, to detail, I hope you understand.
Yes, I understand the detail for your report.
Yes, man of the night. Go to Chicago.
Are there security guards, logbook? It said.
You went back to the office that night.
My flight was fogged in lieutenant.
I didn't actually get out until the morning.
Oh, you want to know why I returned to the clinic?
Well, it's not me, ma'am.
So much as my captain. He's a regular stickler.
Well, as long as I had the time I wanted to pick up a scientific paper,
it was something that a colleague asked me to look at.
So when you went back, that was just for a minute, just for the paper.
Well, the detail I wanted to ask you the middle of the night deserted streets.
The security guard who said that you came in one care, but you left in another.
Why don't you just ask the cab to wait?
I did, lieutenant, but the cab didn't wait, so I took another cab.
Well, that's it.
Then that explained, Good night, man.
It be left without being paid.
I paid him lieutenant, that's how I got him to wait.
But when I came out, it was gone well.
They are impatient, ma'am.
Good night again.
I don't watch yourself, lady.
I think can handle the lieutenant.
You should have burned Lisa's clothes.
We will.
Yet it.
Not yet.
Sergeant Burke, I need you, sergeant.
Yes, Lieutenant.
Oh, there you are, you got the list.
Yes, I have it here, Lieutenant.
The master gets it right here, sir.
I'll tell you what I want, Sergeant.
Excuse me what I want you to do, sergeant.
Yes, Lieutenant.
Get all the help. You can talk to that lady.
Miss Hendricks.
I want to know anyone that ever had any contact with the lady in black.
Anyone that knew her. Anyone who talked with her.
Anyone that ever had anything to do with the woman in black.
The master list. Right, right, right.
I don't apologize.
All right.
Let's leave it at this bill.
And Joanne, I've been trying too hard.
And Lloyd and Cynthia gave up trying sex altogether,
which is against the rules, possibly against the law.
So let's all be very sensible and try to decide what exactly Dr.
Allen.
Can I see you?
Over.
Excuse me.
I'm afraid I'm busy, Lieutenant.
Right?
So he wanted his son.
Would it be all right if I joined you, right?
Absolutely not.
I understand. But.
Joining the Mirror, lieutenant.
It's a fantastic day.
Fantastic.
Have the fun of sexist fantasy.
Oh, I know that.
I've been reading your book.
Well, now I'm proud of you, lieutenant.
You wanted to see me what it is, ma'am.
It's the lady in black, and it's very baffling the way she keeps
changing, the gun dealer said, Oh, did I tell you that we found the gun?
No, no. That must be important.
Found the gun, ma'am in a mailbox down the block.
No fingerprints but purchased on the day of the murder.
Now that's important.
I want you to read something. What?
And producers are
betting that
you'll hear
gun dealers
said she gave name Lisa Prescott boys advice, never heard Lisa
Prescott address turned out no such I get
nervous.
Gun dealer said.
She was very nervous.
Nervous, nervous.
Yes. Well, I suppose that's a kind of a description.
Oh, we got descriptions, man.
We got many descriptions of the night security guard.
He said that she was shy and the
bartender buckets.
He said that she was bold and confident.
So what we're looking for, ma'am, is a shy,
bold, nervous, confident lady in black.
I see her problem, lieutenant, and I don't envy you.
Oh, and it gets worse, man.
Do you remember this cigaret?
The one with the lipstick?
Yes, they're in the ashtray. Yes, ma'am.
I don't have boys.
They ran a new test and the saliva from the cigaret, just from the saliva.
They can tell you all about a person.
And from there, we told whoever smoked that cigaret.
She had a completely different blood type
than the blood from these spots. He.
But the much part
that's a whole different take blood than the victim's blood.
That means three people in a room.
Do you think
it could have been two women with Mr.
Kincaid on the night of the two women lieutenant?
I. I don't know what to say.
And then we have to consider this
those two long black hair that we found on the victim
very feminine, that the lab boys and maybe an Asian woman.
And it turns out that the blood type on these two heads.
That's a whole different type.
What would that mean?
There were three women with Mr. Kincaid.
You mean a sex orgy, lieutenant?
I suppose with a man like David.
Everything I'm learning about him.
Yes, I suppose that's completely possible, right?
But that brings us back again to that security guard.
He said
only one woman came up here.
Do you think they could have come from other offices in the same building?
No, ma'am, the security guard who checked out everybody from the building.
I don't know what to think, Lieutenant.
You've got my head spinning.
Well, but when you get right down to it and only one woman came in
and only one woman went out and whatever all this means, we have to look for ways.
No luck
and we'll be fine.
I promise you, you're going to be the first to know.
Good.
Oh, Lieutenant,
Dr. Ward, do you have a minute for me?
Of course, you can talk in here.
I have something to confess.
Sex is my whole life.
Oh my goodness, my life,
my therapy,
my work,
my frigid women,
my prostitutes, my premature men.
It's a very full life, sir.
Odd sexual events.
What do you think of this?
A red ribbon, a red hair ribbon lieutenant
like Cindy Gold stuck to Helen v.s assistant.
Is that an art invention?
It's a sexual event.
I found this the other morning in our bedroom therapy facility.
No patients had been scheduled,
but the bed had been used.
That's the kind of behavior we've had around here,
and I put that down to David Kincaid's influence your dose.
I didn't like David Kincaid and I loathed his influence on Dr.
Allenby, his cheap crusade to turn sex into something
trivial and popular and write popular sex.
That's something we certainly got to watch out for that.
And you
were saying something about a confession, right?
I confess that I despise David.
But I want you to know that I didn't have anything to do with his murder.
I'm glad you told me, sir, so I don't get
you all confused with the lady in black.
This has been very interesting.
All tenant.
one more thing,
do you think this is the right time for me to advise Dr.
Helen B that she's, well rid of David?
You're asking me for what you seem
very wise.
Well, Dr Ward,
if I were you, I try to do the right.
Yes. Of course, that's very good, Lieutenant.
Thank you.
I'll see you later.
Oh, Lieutenant Columbo.
Dr. Neff, do you have a minute?
Many times.
Lieutenant,
I know you've heard all the rumors running around this place.
I mean about Dr.
Ward getting nowhere with his crush on Cindy Galt.
And Cindy
ducking out for cocktails with David Kincaid.
And you must have heard about how I feel about Dr.
Allenby.
No, I don't seem to have that here.
I've been crazy about her ever since I joined the clinic,
and I was deeply jealous of David,
but I had nothing whatsoever to do with this murder.
I want you to know that right?
No connection with.
He turned it.
With all your experience
out there in the world.
And in his view of what's happened,
how long would you advise me to wait
before telling John I'm in love with her?
If I were you sure.
I would wait until the lady ready
and not a moment longer.
Of course.
I should have been able to figure that out for myself.
Thank you, Lieutenant.
Oh, Lieutenant, do you have a moment for me?
Even though I am going back for my master's
in psychiatric social work, I love working for Dr.
Allenby and David Kincaid.
He was.
Like coming on to me
in a very nice way, I mean, he was always a perfect gentleman,
and of course, I would never, never do anything to hurt Jones, so.
There's my problem.
You'll have to clarify that for me, ma'am.
Well, after what happened?
If I'm going to be loyal to Joan, should I ever tell her about David's
crush on me?
In my opinion, I'm
not speaking strictly as a detective.
Sometimes kindness is wiser than truth.
Of course.
I think I know exactly what you mean.
And they what they talk to you.
Thank you, Ted.
Got a minute, lieutenant.
We did it.
Just one second, sir, hold the phone.
Let me get this straight.
The lady in black, she went in there,
she went in that door right there.
She went in.
She never came out and you waited until I asked the attendant to go
see if she was in there and she wasn't there.
Nobody was there who came out.
I don't want LT.
Ladies went in. Ladies came out.
Just ordinary lady, ordinary ladies, ordinary ladies.
Did any of these ladies have a suitcase of package with a carrying?
I don't know anything like that.
I wasn't looking for bags or packages.
I was waiting for this very exotic brunet.
Miss Hendricks, please, ma'am.
Thank you very much, Mr. Grant.
Just check that, sergeant for keeping you informed as to your whereabouts.
Ma'am, I'm going to have to go in there.
But you got the door, man. The ladies room.
But it's almost intermission, ma'am.
one minute. Oh yeah.
Oh, dear.
Lieutenant,
what was he doing?
Sorry, man, I'm sorry.
I'm very sorry, excuse me? Excuse me?
No, I'm sorry.
I'm very sorry. Excuse me? I'm sorry.
Forgive us, sir.
Hey, do you think the going you done,
you just like looking prostatitis, grocery changes made by trash?
Where do you put dump the trash you when you throw for cannabis,
you still not own a police van police, police, sea ice hockey
players, white trash trash with Freddie Mac?
Yeah. Where do you dump the trash?
You know the trash.
Where do you put the trash picked up
trash with the trash, don't you?
No training, no harm, no playing
free and out of the trash, not the big trash.
I'm going to
going turn up for putting a piece my lap.
I know
that people are going to give you money.
Well, they have no.
They don't think trash bins.
Full stop
these two thoughts, I think you that Kenya,
you'll see a few things like yellow, these coffee seats, a massive sheet.
But it's safe.
We feel Dorothy.
That should be skull.
That said, I found that
all LaVar Ball was that you feel
even less like a Hindu mullah,
you're a very nice lady. You.
They say that
little boy.
Who are you?
Where you are, Dr Adobe?
I have invited Mr. Banks to your home.
Your housekeeper was kind enough to let us in.
Mr. Langston is just a remarkable lady.
I was telling you.
Thank you very much for having us, Dr. Allenby.
Mr. Lynch, you would like to sit down and talk to you, ma'am, if you don't mind.
My pleasure.
Come along, gentlemen,
can you give me a hint about all this today?
Well, I'm back in trouble, man.
This piece is lady in black.
I got 56 vice boys out on the street looking they're pumping.
I got another rate to a lot of persistent files.
We're chasing courtesans up and down the scale.
Please make yourselves comfortable.
You know what? I got out of all this.
I got depressed.
It's not just nobody knows anything.
Nobody even suspects anything.
Now I run into Mr. Lenz here.
He tells me his story.
I don't know what to make of it.
I got all turned around.
I want you to listen to this man's story.
Mr. Nance.
Well, I went to the music center.
Could I bring you something to drink?
Sure, could you manage some sparkling mineral water?
I think so. Same for you, lieutenant.
Oh no. Thank you, ma'am.
Judges have themselves here.
I think I can manage that, too.
Mr. Lenz, please tell me your story.
Well, I can only tell you what I told Lieutenant Columbo, not Adobe flight.
Well, I met her.
You know this lady in black with the man's hat.
It was at the music center affair.
I understand you were there.
I was ice police.
What I saw her
and I have this obligation.
You know, whenever I see an attractive lady, I feel like
it's my duty to meet her.
So I tried.
No encouragement.
So I followed her where?
To the ladies room,
to the ladies room
turned out to be the waiting room.
She went inside and I waited outside.
You're a romantic Mr. Lane.
Yes, I am.
Excellent diagnosis, doctor.
Anyway, I waited
and she never came out.
Tell her about the attendant.
At the end of the evening, I asked the attendant to go inside
and check it out for me.
And there was nobody there.
No way.
The lady vanishes into thin air.
No air at all.
She's just gone.
Now, what do you think about a thing like that?
Were you drinking Mr. Leonard?
Not a drop. Just champagne.
And the lady never came out.
You see what we got here now, man.
We were talking, one lady told Ladies.
three ladies.
Now I got a half a lady to have that went in the other half.
I don't know.
Thanks again, Dr.
Allawi.
I'll wait for you to. Goodbye, Mr. Lenz.
Your story was very amusing.
I just can't take it seriously, Lieutenant.
Well, that's what we got from him.
A good detective, even a medium detective, he can find somebody who was there
when again, it's by somebody who wasn't dead.
How can I deal with that?
I can't imagine Lieutenant, there's Lisa.
People tell stories, but there's no trace she ever existed.
Maybe we got this wrong.
We will look at it looking at it a long.
Long.
Well, I'm working, ma'am.
I'm still out there.
I appreciate everything you're doing, Lieutenant.
You'll see me again, ma'am.
I'm sure I will. But.
Take care of my new friends.
And this is for you.
Was it just a phone call
to a man named Columbo?
This is the No.
This is the message.
Sorry about what happened, the sign, Lisa
and I said, You know, do you think you can do that for me?
Thanks.
Dr. Allenby, meaning Dr.
Brown being Sergeant Burke.
Lieutenant Columbo asked me to tell you he has very good news.
He's found the lady in black. Dr.
Where
where did you find her say
it was right in your own office files, your research finds?
Lieutenant said he wants you to do that.
Good night, Dr..
Over here, man.
I'm sorry, doctor, I didn't mean to frighten you like that.
I thought I heard voices like, Oh, don't be me, man.
I was talking on the phone with Sergeant Burke.
He was supposed to ask you to join me here, and he forgot to say that,
but I'm glad you came anyway.
Why did you come here, man?
Certainly not to be frightened out of my wits. Lieutenant
Sergeant
Burke called and told me that you'd found Lisa in one of my files.
I came to see for myself over here.
There he goes again,
Sergeant Burke.
He's a very fine young detective, but we all make mistakes and time to time.
When I asked him to tell you it was as if
she had been in your own files all the time.
No, no.
I certainly couldn't find her here, doctor.
Not even an odd sexual events.
How did you find her
or for that man, we have to go to the therapy room,
to the therapy room.
This leash of this lady in black.
I've been getting some very strange messages from her messages, she's sorry.
She did what she did.
She had to do what she did and now she's leaving town.
But she hasn't left town yet.
And I think she'd been trying to fool us about a lot of things.
For instance, this ashtray, would you look at this history
to a detective?
This is a fascinating history.
I mean, what's in it?
That's exactly what we found the morning after the murder.
I put everything back just the way it was.
She was a smoker man, the bartender said.
She was a smoker, and you see that you see that burnt match.
Yes, I can see the match lieutenant and a cigaret stub and only a few ashes.
You see how puzzling that is.
No, I see a burnt match and have a cigaret and a few ish and a few ashes,
but not enough to account for a whole cigaret man,
a whole cigaret man
that produces decent money.
You know what?
That way I weigh them.
That's 500 mg and the ashes into trade.
It's 48 milligrams.
All right, we do. 15 we're still missing.
400 mg man has very scientific lieutenant,
but she might have smoked a cigaret someplace else.
What is the match man
like?
She let and smoked it right here in this room,
and there's no way she's on the table.
And you know, if she's under today and is not an official in the age
range, you'll forgive me, lieutenant, if I'm not quite as fascinated by this
as you are. Well, ma'am, even here.
They don't just fly away and vanish.
Here are five boys.
I had them back in this whole room.
No. cigaret.
And what do you detect, lieutenant from the infamous missing ashes?
Oh yes, you said that Lisa was trying to fool us
like she was setting a scene, ma'am?
Yes. Mike, this whole room,
like it was some kind of a stage making us think she was something she is.
Is that a possibility, lieutenant?
You still haven't told me how you found her Bible.
The received messages from on them. I haven't seen her yet.
With your permission doctor.
And now we have to consider
the victim's keys is missing keys.
No matter how you look at it, it always comes out the same.
If Mr.
Kincaid didn't have the key to open the door, then the lady in black,
she must have been the one with the key.
So now we have to face that
as a fact, and I know you're thinking the same thing.
I mean, she had to be someone connected with your own clinic.
That's totally ludicrous, lieutenant,
unless Lisa could have been the cleaning lady.
Do you think that's a possibility?
I doubt it.
Is that your phone?
That could be important.
I'll see.
The lady in black.
She might be coming here tonight.
Did I tell you she might be coming here?
You know,
the fall
that maybe high?
Hello, Dr.
Allenby.
Yes, Sergeant, I wonder if I could talk to the platoon
sergeant. I.
Yes, Sergeant.
Right.
Thank you so much.
Well,
and I think she's somewhere in the middle.
Doctor,
are you familiar with the Chicago department
store named Neufeld? Yes.
Why do you ask?
Because I happen to know that's why you bought that camel's head cold you wearing.
Well, if you knew that, why did you ask if I was familiar with the store
to see if you'd tell me the truth?
Are you aware, Lieutenant, how insulting that is?
I am and and I regret having to say it.
But now we both have to consider this.
Would you take a look at that then?
I would say that's the tag of your new cult,
the one you bought in Chicago and that first day man riding up in the elevator .
I thought you looked very nice.
And that tag that was dangling from your cock.
I wasn't aware of the tag on them, and I thought that was very endearing.
The department
told people they told me, you charged that go your credit card.
I did, as a matter of fact, is that significant?
Well, that brings us to another question then
would you grant me that sometimes a person would prefer to pay cash
rather than charge something and have a written record of this purchase?
Would you grant me that?
I suppose that.
There could be reasons.
That's a fact
copy of the check the cash man in your Chicago hotel.
15 hundred dollars payable to cash.
You seem to have been very attentive to my affairs.
What did you do with the money?
I think I've had about enough of your questions, Lieutenant,
how I spend my money is none of your business.
I'll leave you to find the woman in black.
You seem to have lost her.
Oh. Was that
the elevator man?
Not yet.
If you don't mind, man, one thing before you go.
The terror people.
I think she may already be in there.
Do you think she's already been here?
Well, maybe you saw yourself
or somebody very much like her out before.
one of a policewoman that
although you didn't say a word about that to me
because, you know, Lisa.
She couldn't be out there.
Because she's been here with me for a.
Would you agree with me about that, Dr.
Anthony?
Seemed to have gone to a great deal of trouble, Lieutenant.
I think I can say the same thing about you
and that her had bought
with cash and her wig.
The wig sales lady from the Chicago store.
She said
you already had that when you tried on week.
Did I mention that she recognized your photo?
The picture we sent her your book? No.
No, that must have slipped your mind.
The sales lady and women's suits.
She only sold to blacks in that day, and only one.
In the size of the lady who bought the.
They sent us all these things, Dr.
Like the things you hear in the music center.
To play your quarters and game with Mr.
Kincaid.
Was that because of.
Cindy Gold.
You're very intuitive, lieutenant.
You would have made a splendid therapist.
There's a lovely fire here.
Why don't we share the flat?
I think the night Nike
came back from the airport, you found Mr.
Kincaid right here in this room
making love to Cindy Gold.
Is that why you killed him?
That night.
two of them in bed together.
I heard him laughing at me.
I was his joke.
That must have been very hard.
There isn't a woman in the world, a tenant.
Who wouldn't have fantasized in my circumstances
about doing what I did?
Make him a.
For the anguish
and the humiliation.
And all the loneliness to come.
But I went beyond the fantasy.
And I wasn't even frightened.
Do you want to hear, Lieutenant?
What did frighten me?
If you'd like to tell me more?
Becoming somebody else?
Becoming Lisa.
After all, my research, all my books.
I hadn't truly understood
what it was to sink into a fantasy.
Being someone stronger,
more desirable, more willful and exciting.
Someone that David would
never have dared betray.
For those few days.
I like Lisa better than I like myself.
That frightens me.
Far more than you are waiting to arrest me.
Now that I've confessed all this,
I want to know.
Do you think less of me?
I'm only a policeman
judging people.
That's all up to somebody else.
But I can tell you, I've enjoyed our talks very much.
And I think I do understand.