My name is Sergeant Joe Fink...
working a 24 hour shift on a homicide.
And this is my workshop.
The part of town that everybody knows about but that nobody wants to see.
Where the tragedies is a deeper, the ecstasies wilder...
and the crime rate consistently higher than anywhere else
Skid Row
My beat.
The most terrifying period in the history of my beat...
began in a little rundown floral shop called Mushnick's.
Ah, good morning Mrs. Shiva, how's things today?
The same as usual, Mr. Mushnick.
My sister's nephew Stanley died.
In Little Rock, Arkansas.
Aww. What happened?
He got blown up who knows how.
That's nice.
Well, you would like, maybe, as usual some flowers for the funural?
♪ Should auld acquaintance be forgot,...
♪... and never brought to mind?
I thought, possibly,...
because I always give you all my funeral business...
and maybe you should possibly give to me, eh...
a little cut today.
Look on me, Mrs. Shiva.
What am I? A philatelist?
I sell on Skid Row nothing but cheap carnations.
And I should give you a cut rate.
I can't even afford water for the flowers!
To my throat I would be giving a cut.
♪ I dreamt I dwelt in Marble Halls
- ♪ With vassals and... - Shut up from the back!
Excuse me, Mrs. Shiva.
- That Seymour... - He's a nice boy.
- Why don't you let him sing? - What sing?!
Look: Here I got a new customer.
Brand new in the yellow vest.
I should let the clean up boy...
but I can't even afford chase them out right away.
Flowers fresh as the spring time. Mushnick. Hello?
Oh, hello Dr. Farb.
What can I do for you today?
Listen, Mushink, I haven't got much time.
Send me over two gladiolas and a fern.
Excellent, that's two dozen glads, one pottet fern.
No, no, no, Mushnick!
Two gladiolas and one fern.
You want I should put two gladiolas in the pot with the fern.
No, one fern, one piece.
Altogether three pieces.
I need it for my waiting room.
- A filling fell out. - What?
- A filling fell out. - Good, I'll drill a bigger hole.
You mean you want two crummy gladiolas and one crummy fern?
What kind of a decoration is that?
This is my flower budget for the week.
Mushnick.
Who can be a dentist on Skid Row?
Fine, excellent. I'll send Seymour right away.
Who am I to argue with science?
Make it snappy.
Now you are going to get...
oh, you are going to get it.
Look.
Seymour Krelborn!
Now, Mrs. Shiva. We were talking from the funeral flowers.
But the little...
Did you call me, Mr. Mushnick?
No. I was calling John D. Rockefeller for to make a loan on my Rolls Royce.
Sorry I said it.
Now look Seymour.
You take two gladiolas.
You'll cut them nice and even.
You'll take one fern. You'll wrap them in a package...
and you'll take them to Dr. Farb.
Right?
Now go already!
Now what can I do for you, sir?
Uh, my name is Burson Fouch.
Excellent! I am Gravis Mushnick.
Oh, that's a good one.
Who is gonna get my roses?
I'll take care of you, Mrs. Shiva.
Come right over here.
You would like, maybe, some orchids for a nice girl?
No, I think I'd like a couple of dozen carnations.
Carnations.
A person find a lot of these these that somebody shouldn't drop dead!
You had more than your share of bad luck, Mrs. Shiva.
Bad luck, she calls it.
You should have so many people kicked off.
About the carnations...
You said you wanted some roses.
Yeah. For Stanley.
My carnations.
You should see wha... See, Morris.
Oh, here are your carnations.
- Wait, I'll wrap them for you. - No, it's all right. I'll eat them here.
Why not?
Of course. What else?
They are alright?
Well, I've had better.
Well, this is a small shop.
That's ok.
You know: These big places...
they are full of pretty flowers, expensive flowers.
When you raise them for looks and smell you're bound to lose some food value.
I like these little out-of-the-way places.
Such a thing - eating flowers.
Look: Don't knock it until you try it, huh?
Look what happened.
This is what I was trying to tell you before
Look on him, everybody!
Look at the quality of his work!
I ask you: When I fire him...
where is he gonna get such another good job?
You mean I'm fired?
No, I'm electing you president from the United States.
Yes, you are fired!
- Gravis, you can't do that. - Who? Who can't?
- I didn't mean it. - You didn't mean it.
You never mean it.
You didn't mean it the time you put up the bouquet with the get well card...
in the funeral parlour.
And send the black lilies...
to the old lady in the hospital, you didn't mean it.
But this time...
I, Gravis Mushnick, mean it!
He means it.
But see, Mr. Mushnick, don't I always try to do what's right?
And i'm crazy about flowers.
I like flowers almost as much as Audrey does.
Excellent. You're fired.
Why don't you give him a chance to resurrect himself?
I give him a chance to quit.
- I ain't gonna quit. - You're a brave boy. You're fired!
But that ain't fair, Mr. Mushnick.
You know what I'm doin'?
I'm working on a special surprise plant just for you.
I'm growing a plant like you ain't never seen before.
Excellent! I can't even sell the plants I got in my shop.
- Out, you! - Now, wait a minute.
If he's got a new kind of plant you'll look at it.
I don't look on flowers, Mr. Yellowvest.
I got ancestors in the flower business for 200 years.
But I got one shop on Skid Row, one stinking shop.
- I don't even like flowers! - Now, you don't understand what I mean.
Look: I've been eating in flower shops all over the world.
And I have noticed that the places that have the mosts weird and unusal plants were the best business.
See?
- See? - See?
What is this? A tango?
Alright.
Explain me more.
Well...
I remember one place that had a whole wall covered with poison ivy.
And people came from miles around to look at the wall.
And they stayed to buy.
The owner got rich?
No. He scratched himself to death in an insane asylum.
Oh!
That was my cousin Harry.
Alright.
You go home and you get this fancy schmancy plant and you bring it back here.
And if Mr. Yellowvest Fouch says it's a draw, you still got a job.
If he don't - out you go to Bodeo, right?
Dont' worry. You'll like it - you'll see.
This is Radio KSIK
You've been listening to "Music for Old Invalids".
Our next selection is entitled...
"Sickroom Serenade"
Seymour, is that you?
Yeah, ma.
Get in here. Look at my tongue
But ma, I've already seen your tongue.
There be no sympathy for your poor mother?
Laughing at her and mocking her illness...
and she's got one foot in the grave.
- I didn't mean it. - Oh, you never mean it.
Oh, come on. Look at my tongue.
That tongue is a tongue, ma. They all look the same to me.
Did you stop at Dr. Mallard and get the results of my tests?
Yeah,he said there's nothing wrong with you.
Oh, not Dr. Mallard.
He-He is one doctor I thought would tell the truth.
He said you sould be playing fullback for the Rams.
He wants me dead.
I'll bet he is assistant coroner.
Well, I gotta... - A-A-And I know I got...
My goiter's coming back. I can feel it every morning after breakfast.
Yeah, that's when you take those great...
What you got? A little surprise for me?
- Open it up and see. - Alright.
Dr. Slurpsaddle's famous tonic.
Wait here.
To be taken internally or externally for pain and neuritis...
neuralgia, headaches,...
i-if hit by a truck, call your physician.
Alcoholic content: 98 percent!
Oh, Seymour.
You'll never know what it is gonna do for me.
Oh, I can feel that surge of warm health going through me already.
Look, ma. I gotta get my plant and hurry back to the shop.
You mean that lousy weed out in the kitchen?
Yeah. If Mr. Mushnick doesn't like it, he's gonna fire me.
Apparently, my hearing is goin' out on me.
I just had the faint impression...
that your job security depends on what Muchnick thanks of that thing.
It looks worse than it did this morning when I went to work.
I wish I knew what to do with it.
Well, if you ask me, I'd pitch it out in the trash.
I don't like my house cluttered up with rotten vegetables.
Look ma, I gotta hurry. Can I bring you anything?
Oh yeah, yeah. Bring me the Evening News.
They're running a-a self-diagnosis contest.
The winner gets to go to to Mayo Clinic.
- Ha, ha. - Bye, ma.
Bye, son. I'll see you at the rosy edge of dawn!
♪ Drink to me only with thine eyes
♪ And I will...
And put this on my bill.
Here it is everybody.
What do you think of it?
Well...
It sure is different.
It looks delicious but don't you think it's kind of stale?
I hasn't been feeling too well.
You call that a fancy plant?
It looks like it never spent an healthy day in its entire life.
I don't care.
I like it anyway.
You, you like even skunk cabbage.
Yeah.
What kind of a plant is this, Seymour?
Well, I'm not sure.
I got the seeds from a Japanese gardener over on Central Avenue.
He found them in with an order he got from a plantation next to a cranberry farm.
Fine.
Fine. You don't even know what is this plant you're groing.
- Well, I gave it a name. - What name?
What? You gave it a dirty name you can't even mention it?
Well...
I named it Audrey Jr.
You named it after me?
Oh, really?
That's the most exiting thing anyone's ever done to me.
You poor kid.
I don't think it's so much...
I should keep on spending ten dollars a week on your salary.
But Gravis...
he named it after me!
I know and if they keep it they'll name it Mushnick's Folly...
because I'll be in jail because of non-payment of taxes.
- Are you crazy? - Who? Who?
You. You.
That's probably the only plant of its kind in the world.
Don't you realize if Seymour can nurse that thing back to health...
you have people coming here from all over?
- You think so, you Fouch? - I know so, you Mushnick?
That's all I'm saying on the subject.
Sod, I got to get home. My wife's making gardenias for dinner.
- Good night, sir. - Good night.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Crazy about kosher flowers.
He's a nice man.
Maybe he knows what he's talking about.
Maybe it's not so stupid.
I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll keep you and this Dumbell Jr. for a week.
If you can nurse it back to health, you both can stay.
If you can't, you're both fired.
Aw, gee. Thank you, Mr. Mushnick.
Don't feel sad, Seymour.
Don't waste your pity on me Audrey, I'm not worth it.
Who says you're not?
Everybody.
Yeah, I know.
But I think you're a fine figurative of a man, and...
and I know that Audrey Jr. will be the sweetest thing in the whole, wide world!
Well, I don't know.
I've given it every kind of fancy fertilizer and atomic plant food and...
distilled mineral water that you can buy but I just gets sicker and sicker.
Don't worry.
You're gonna be another Luther Glendale.
Pasadena.
Burbank.
Good night, Seymour.
G'night, Audrey.
What's the matter little plant?
Haven't I done everything I could for you?
Where did I goof?
You're the first little plant I ever tried to grow, and if you die, I dunno what I'll do!
Please don't die.
I'll get you some water, ok?
Oh, gee.
You opened up just like you do every night at sunset.
I wish I knew how to make you grow.
Here, let me move this out of your way so you can breathe.
Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Hey, what happened?
How come you woke up?
Blood?
You like blood?
You must be kidding.
Well, we'll see.
You know, what I'm doing for you...
Aww, who could have thought it?
Well...
I guess there's just no accounting for people's taste.
- Seymour! - My boy.
You're the most magnanimous person in the whole world!
Look on him, Audrey. Isn't he beautiful?
Isn't he delicious?
Isn't he got a two dollar raise?
What happened to your fingers?
Bee stings.
So how come I'm all of a sudden so wonderful?
Five bees? One for each finger?
Ten bees.
Did you say I was getting a two dollar raise?
Correct, my very excellent Seymour.
- Indeed. - What did I do now?
Don't you know what you did?
Oh, boy! Look at that!
It grew.
It's almost a foot long.
Isn't it empirical?
It grows like a cold sore from the lips.
Oh, hello young pretty ladies. What can Gravis Mushnick do for you?
Well, we saw your sign outside. About the Audrey Jr.
So we thought we'd come in and take a look.
Well, give a look.
That makes four people today who come in just to look at it.
- Oh, dig Shirley. - Is that just too much?
Oh, what kind of plant is it?
It's an Audrey Jr.
How was it you got in trouble with ten bees?!
Is that all? I mean, doesn't it have a scientific name?
Yes, of course.
But who could denounce it.
You would like maybe to buy something.
Well, we don't have any money...
except 2000 dollars.
But that's just to spend on flowers.
So we don't have any of our own.
Isn't that a drag?
You got t-t-t-two thousand dollars...
just for to spend on flowers?
- Mhm. - That's right.
Who died? The Chamber of Commerce?
We're all from Cucamonga high school.
We're building a float.
- For the Rose Bowl parade. - Which is made of flowers.
- Thousands of them. - And we're on the comittee.
- That picks the florist. - And then glues on the flowers.
- Gee, that sure is a mad plant. - Wow, yeah.
Seymour here invented it.
- He didn't! - Oh!
Girls! Girls, girls, girls!
Please don't damage the horticulturalist.
Tell me, how come you don't buy all these thousands of flowers from Gravis Mushnick?
My flowers got something the others don't.
- What's that? - They're cheap.
Well, cheap.
If your shop is good enough to develop the Audrey Jr...
- I guess it can get everything we need. - Yeah.
We'll talk it over with the rest of the committee.
- Excellent. - We've got to run now. Bye.
- Bye! - Bye!
Bye, girls.
A son.
Look, Audrey!
I got a son.
Oh, gee, Mr Mushnick.
What, Mr. Mushnick?
I don't want you should call me Mr. Mushnick anymore.
I want you should call me dad.
Ok, dad.
Isn't that beautiful?
Seymour Krelborn...
come over here, my son.
I want to talk on you about the future.
Look on this fly trap.
Look on it.
Soon we got no more Skid Row.
We will be rich. Us.
I am building for you...
a giant greenhouse in which you are making impossible flowers...
which in turn I am selling at ridiculous prices...
in my giant new flower saloon in Beverly Hills.
Do you see that big sign in the sky?
It is saying...
"Gravis Mushnick", in French.
Isn't it exciting?
And we'll have an orchestra right by the cash register,...
and Gravis will wave his arms...
and the orchestra will play Mendelssohn's Spring Song.
I'll come out in a gown, wrapped by someone expensive and say:
"The carnations are 600 dollars a dozen,"...
"two dozen for a thousand."
- It's a bargain! - Get 'em while they last
Stop shouting.
My uncle Moishen's brother Yankel just passed away in New Jersey.
Tell me...
how much are the carnations today?
The carnations are 600 dollars a dozen.
And why are they letting him run around loose?
Please. Please excuse my son, Mrs. Shiva.
Just point anything in the store and it is yours.
You mean anything?
That's right.
- The cash register, maybe, huh? - Ah.
Wait a minute.
Here.
Here are several dozen carnations...
on the house courtesey of Gravis Mushnick, the bloom tycoon.
- That's my dad. - Thanks.
Thanks very much.
Only, tell me...
Why are you so happy?
Not only did my uncle Moishe's brother Yankel die...
in New Jersey...
we should also give some flowers to that poor dead plant there.
Good morning, Mr. Mushnick.
Good morning.
Good morning, Mrs. Shiva.
Look what happened to my plant, dad.
Who're you calling dad? Who? Who?
Oh no!
- It was so beautiful just a few seconds ago. - Excellent.
Just a few seconds ago I gave away dozens of carnations.
Free! To Mrs. Shiva.
I didn't mean it.
You have perhaps an explanation.
No, but if you give me a minute I'll think of one.
I can see it all now.
We're in the poorhouse.
The big sign in the sky it is reading:
"Seymour Krelborn. Rest in Peace."
In Arabic!
Oh, you've got to give him another chance.
You promised me a week, Mr. Mushnick.
I'd sit up all night with that plant.
It'll be healthy in the morning, you'll see.
I promise.
Feed meeee.
Feed meeee!
Who said that?
You said that.
You said that!
Mhm. Feed me!
You said that.
You can talk.
I got a talking plant.
- Say it again. - Feed me.
Oh boy!
I've never been to college and I ain't been around much...
but I would be willing to bet there ain't no such thing as a talking plant!
I'll take your word for it.
Gee, Junior, I'd-I'd like to feed you.
But I've used up all my fingers.
Feeeeeeed.
Look at me, I'm all cut to pieces.
But maybe I can find another drop here someplace.
That's the best I can do.
More! More!
But I'm already anaemic.
Feed me more!
See, Junior,...
I'd be happy to give you anything I got...
but I gotta keep a little blood for myself or I'll be in worse shape than ma.
Mmm.
I'm sorry, Junior.
I'll go for a walk. Maybe I'll think of something.
Feed me!
Look, chow-hound.
Don't bother me. I got problems of my own.
Feed me!
I am sorry, pal. I am fresh out of blood. Talk to somebody else.
I am hungry!
I don't care what you are.
Can't you see I am knocked out?
I just killed a man.
I'm a murderer.
Think it's fun to be a murderer?
You think it's fun to...
haul around a sack full of...
fooooood.
No, no, Junior! What kind of guy do you think I am?
I'm starved.
Maybe just a snack.
That looks great.
What you call that salad?
Nefarious.
Well, before the next course...
I think I'll have a nice cigar.
Alright?
You would like maybe a cigar?
- Ha-ha-ha. - Ha-ha-ha.
Ah, you don't smoke cigars, right.
What am I thinking about? Where are the matches?
Oh, oi!
You know what I found?
I'm looking for the matches...
And I found I left the money in the red suit.
Here's your mock chicken leg.
You don't have any money?
So what else is new?
Alright. Alright!
I made a mistake.
After all, a man is entitled.
Go on. This is your story.
I'll wait for the punch.
Don't get smart with me, girlie.
I'll have you know that in my shop in the cash register...
I'm having the total day's receipts...
which is summing up to more than nine dollars.
You'll bring the rest of the food...
and I'll go the the shop and get the money!
You are playing my favorite song.
Now, look here, buster.
One of you is gonna go down right now and get the loot...
while the other one stays here until the first one gets back.
If you get what I mean?
Oh, fine.
In this fancy schmancy restaurant you are holding hostages, right?
Right.
Excellent.
You eat up, Audrey.
I'll be back in a flash with the cash.
Bye, Gravis.
♪ 'tis the season to be jolly
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
♪ 'tis the season to be jolly
♪ Fa-la-la-la
♪ La-la-la
♪ 'tis the season
♪ To be jolly
♪ Fa-la-la-la
♪ La-la-la
You're flush now, right?
Bring me whiskey, rum, wine, gin, bourbon.
- Why? - Scotch, rye, tequila, sake, manishevitz
Did you bring the money?
Don't mock me with the money. I got to get drunk now.
What's with him?
- I don't know. - Look.
Here, take it. Bring me anything.
Bring everything. Creme de menthe. Everything you've got!
Ok!
Gravis?
- What happened? - Don't ask.
You look like you've seen a ghost.
Ghosts I could handle. Don't ask.
Why don't you tell me? Maybe I could help you.
Help, you couldn't.
Try and eat something. It'll calm your agrimation.
In mine own shop...
Audrey, you wouldn't believe it.
I wish you'd break out and tell me.
Alright, I'll tell you.
Tomorrow. Right after I am telling the police.
But Mushnick didn't come to the police.
If he had...
that might have been the finish of the unhappy story.
It was not.
Hi, Gravis.
85 dollars worth of business already, and we've barely opened!
What'd I tell you?
You wouldn't be interested in selling a half-interest to this place, huh?
- Mr. Mushnick. - We talked to the comittee.
- And they said we could use your flowers. - On the float.
- And guess what? - We're going to feature Audrey Jr.
- Right on top. - Can't you just picture it?
- I can picture it. - Oh, won't the people just eat it up?
Eat up the people.
And we're gonna have the big part of it open.
- Of course she can fit in it. - Who?
- The queen. - With her crown and scepter.
She'll be so cute!
- Oh, you could just eat her up. - Eat up the girl.
Oh, there's Seymour!
Oh, Seymour!
Ow, ow, ow, ow! I got a toothache.
Ow, I got a toothache. Really, I...
You...
- Come with me. - I got a toothache! It hurts!
Ow, let go of my jaw.
Ow, my jaw. Ow, ow.
Owwww.
Now, Seymour.
Talk on me!
I got a toothache. What do you wanna talk about?
That plant. Is that a nice subject for to talk?
The plant is great, it's...
it's it's four times bigger than it was yesterday.
I saw, I saw. How come the plant is now so big?
I don't know.
But look at them people out there.
We only been open a half hour we already done 70 dollars worth of business.
85. Now look, Seymour.
You gave this plant a fancy name: Audrey Jr.
But I want to know right now what do just people call it?
Well...
well it's a cross between a butterworth and a venus flytrap.
Venus flytrap!
And what are the habbits of this Venus flytrap?
Well, the book says it eats insects.
It eats them three times in it's life...
- and then it's full grown. - Excellent!
And how many times is this one eat?
Well...
Once or twice.
You don't remember?
Well, this is kind of an unusual type flytrap.
That is a possibility.
It may never eat again. I don't see how it could get any bigger.
Then you think it don't need any more flies?
Yeah.
Ow, my tooth is just killing me.
Alright. Excellent.
You run along to the dentist.
I'll take care of things here.
Thanks, boss.
Gravis! We got to order more flowers.
Tons of them.
I'm making lots of money.
Argh! Argh! Argh!
Please don't hurt!
Please don't hurt me!
Argh! Argh!
That'll teach you to keep your bill up to date, you deadbeat!
Argh! Argh! Argh!
Well, then run, you snivelling dog!
I'm glad, I hurt you. I'm glad. I'm glad.
Seymour.
Seymore. Got a bad tooth, huh?
No, I thought this was the men's room!
Seymour, come back here, you bad dog. You get in there.
So, you are the young man who ruined my gladiolas, huh?
Sit down.
Come on.
Guess what?
- My tooth stopped hurting. - My tooth stopped hurting.
Yes, I know.
Let's see.
Shut up and open up.
Uh-huh.
Ah.
- Argh! - Does that hurt?
- Yeah! - Good. You haven't felt anything yet.
- Ah-ha. - It's this one over here.
Seymour. Who is the dentist here, you or me?
I'll find that tooth.
M-hm.
Ah-ha.
Look at that stalagmite.
But don't worry. It's going to be an easy one, Seymour.
I won't even use Novocaine.
Ow, you poked the mirror in my mouth.
Well, don't tell me about it, stupid. Just swallow it.
Alright. Here's the thing now, Seymour.
I think I'll have this one and this one...
and that one and I have to have this one, Seymour!
It's only one tooth.
Seymour, who is the dentist here,...
.. you or me? Are you practising dentistry without a license?
- Alright - Uh-hu.
Let's see.
Oh shit! Seymour.
- ♪ Seymour, don't be... - Argh!
Argh!
Look at that.
Will you look at that, Seymour?
I didn't know you were an elk.
Good.
You know...
I can't afford an assistant,...
so I get this ready instant mix.
It doesn't last very long but it tastes good.
Mmm.
Alright, Seymour.
Stay away from me!
See? You're trying to kill me.
A duel! Ah-ha!
Is this doctor's office?
Just a minute!
Aww, yes.
I see it is.
I... you-you can come in now.
My name is Wilbur Force.
Wilburforce what?
Just...
Wilbur Force.
My first name is Wilbur, my last name is Force.
I don't have a middle name.
Well, you have an appointment, maybe?
I don't have a middle name well you have an appointment may be no but you were
one of your patients.
A Mrs. S. Shiva.
I do a lot of undertaking for her relatives.
Well, as you could see, I have a customer now...
and I'm all booked up for the rest of the day, so you have to come back tomorrow.
Oh, I couldn't do that.
I have three or four abscesses...
a touch of pyorrhea...
nine or ten cavities...
I lost my pivot tooth and I'm in terrible pain.
Well, I-I can't help you today.
Oh, that's alright.
I'll go just wait outside.
The patient came to me with a large hole in his abdomen...
caused by a fire poker used on him by his wife.
He almost bled to death and gangrene had set in.
I didn't give me much of a chance.
There were other complications.
The man had cancer, tuberculosis, leprosy...
and a touch of the grippe.
I decided to operate.
My... my patient just left.
You cou... you could come in now.
Oh goodie.
- I didn't see the other man leave. - Well...
he went out the back door
You know, most people don't like to go to the dentist...
but I rather enjoy it myself, don't you?
I mean there is such...
there is a real feeling of growth, of...
progress when that...
that old drill goes in...
and I'd almost rather go to the dentist than anywhere, wouldn't you?
Yeah.
Now, no Novocaine.
It dulls the senses.
This is gonna hurt you more than it is me.
Oh, goodie goodie, here it comes.
Argh!
Oh my god, don't stop now!
Well, I made a lot of holes...
and now I've gotta fill it with this silver stuff.
Well, aren't you gonna pull any?
- Well, uh... - Oh, come on.
Well, it's your mouth.
Argh!
Well, Dr. Farb...
it's been quite an afternoon.
I can truly say I've never enjoyed myself so much.
I'll recommend you to all my friends.
Thank you. Bye.
Bye, now.
Feed me!
Oh, take it easy, Dracula.
What do you think I'm carrying here? My dirty laundry?
Feed!
I'm coming! I'm coming already.
This should be enough for anybody.
Mhm.
Fooood.
Well, goodbye Dr. Farb.
You may have been a crummy dentist but you were a nice fellow.
I never meant to kill anybody in my whole life.
Now I killed two in the last two days.
Well, he asked for it coming at me with that knife and all.
Bon voyage, Dr Farb.
Want anything else?
[BURP]
See you in the morning.
Come in.
It's me, Joe.
Good morning, Frank.
How's the wife, Frank?
- Not bad, Joe. - Glad to hear it.
- The kids? - Lost one yesterday.
Awful, eh? How did that happen?
Playing with matches.
Well, those are the breaks.
Yeah, I guess so.
Got a strange one here.
Railroad people say the last one of their best detectives the other night.
Where?
Down by the yards.
He was watching refrigerator cars.
Refrigerator cars?
- Ice thieves. - Oh yeah? What happened?
Don't know.
- Vanished, right on the tracks. - Clues?
None.
Anything else?
Dentist. Farb.
- Dead? - Missing.
Clues?
- Blood in the office. - Where?
- Skid Row. - Ideas?
- None. - Check it out?
Yeah.
Now we were on the case,
officer Frank Stoolie and me.
My name is Fink.
Sergeant Joe Fink.
I'm a fink.
Morning, Mr Mushnick.
Oh, boy, look at that!
Hi, everybody.
Oh, my god!
- Ain't it something? - It's...
It's monstrositous!
Yeah.
And to think that you did it.
Gee, Audrey. You don't have to kiss me.
Don't you like me to kiss you?
Yeah, but... you don't like to kiss me.
Why shouldn't I?
Nobody else ever did.
Well, I do like to.
You do? You really do? You like to kiss me?
Sure, I do.
Would... would you like to kiss me again?
Ok.
That plant...
Oh, boy! You kiss good, Audrey.
Oh, I guess I just have a good kisser.
H-h-h-how d-d-did...
Would you like to go out on a date with me some night?
- When...? - Oh, sure I would, Seymour.
- Any time. - Tonight?
Ok.
- Oh, boy! - A-a-a-about that plant...
- We got the list. - Of flowers.
- For the float. - For the rose parade.
I can't talk to you now, girls.
Talk on Audrey.
- We got the list. - With the float.
- It's ok. Let's take a look at it. - Ok.
Hi, what's cookin'?
Look at my plant.
- My, what a large one. - Yeah.
Hello, Mrs. Shiva. What's new?
Oy, I got terrible news.
My nephew Frankie just lost his little boy.
Oh, that's too bad.
How did it happen?
He was playing with matches.
Would you like to buy, maybe, some flowers?
Nah... about 50 cents worth.
So I'll get the for you. Look at my plant!
I'm looking.
- Your name Gravis Mushnick? - M-M-Mushnick, Gravis. That's my name.
Just want to ask you a few questions.
- Questions ask me why? - Just want to ask a few questions.
I-I didn't do it.
- Do what? - Whatever.
Ever see this man?
Man... see... picture...
Why are you so nervous?
You got a guilty conscience?
No! Why should I?
Ever see this man?
Man... see... this-this picture...
Dr. Farb.
- So you know him? - He's my dentist.
He... eh... maybe did something?
- He disappeared. - Blood in his office.
Another man, too.
Blood on the railroad tracks.
- Dr. Farb is murdered? - Is he?
Who knows? Not me!
What do you think?
He doesn't know anything.
Ok, Mushnick.
If you hear anything about these men...
call our office.
Sure, I'll be glad to...
cooperate with the police.
Hello, aunt Siddie.
Oh, isn't it terrible what happened to your boy, Frankie?
Those are the breaks.
Alright, Seymour.
Now you tell me if this plant is finished all grown up.
- It's finished all growning up. - You wouldn't kid your father?
- My father came home? - Me, idiot!
It's a finger of speech.
Now look...
I can't stand anymore that plant.
It's growing me out of house and home.
It ain't gonna grow anymore. I promise.
How can you be so sure?
It ate three times already.
Who... I mean...
what did it eat this time?
Well, abou... about a million Japanese beetles.
So don't eat no more?
It's full.
Gravis?
There's a lady from some kind of a committance outside.
I think it's important.
Excellent.
By the by...
I understand you want to take Audrey out on a date tonight.
That's very good with me.
Because I am staying to keep an eye on that meshugana plant.
So, where are we gonna go tonight, Seymour.
I-I-I just remembered: I don't have any money.
Well, that's ok.
We could take a walk along the ocean or something.
I got a great idea. We could eat dinner at my house.
- My mom's a great cook. - Oh, that's swell!
Oh, boy, I'll call later and tell her.
Ok.
Oh, that's remarkable.
You like?
I neither like nor dislike anything, my goodness.
I happen to represent the society of...
Silent Flower Observers of Southern California.
How about that?
Tell me...
who created this magnificent bloom?
I did. Me.
Oh.
A-a-and what might your name be?
Seymour Krelborn, with a K.
- Krelboind? - Krelborn.
Raised in the coffee can.
This...
Well...
Tell me, Mr. Krelboind...
Is this a freak or can more be raised from the seeds?
We should live so long.
Well, I don't think there gonna be will be any more, Miss, uh,...
Feuchtwanger.
Mrs Hortense Feuchtwanger.
I think this is gonna be the only one, Mrs. Fishswinger.
Feuchtwanger.
Feuchtwanger?
Well, it's probably indigestible anyway.
At any rate...
I have the honour to tell you, Seymour Krelboind,...
that you have been selected to receive the annual trophy...
of the Society of Silent Flower Observers of Southern California.
A trophy? Me?
Such is justice...
But tell me: When do you suppose those large buds will open?
Well according to what the book says about the plants that I crossed...
they should open the day after tomorrow at sunset.
Ah, very well.
Then I shall return at that time to present the trophy
Good day.
Remarkable.
Oh boy! I'm gonna get a trophy!
Oh, Seymour. I'm so proud of you.
Oh, a real trophy for Audrey Jr.!
- We'll put it on the float. - In the rose parade.
Oh, boy!
Don't look at me. I-I'm a terrible sight.
I-I'm a complete sea hag.
- She always says that. - O, well, it's true.
I haven't been feelin' very well lately.
Audrey, this is my ma, Winifred Krelborn.
Ma, this is Audrey Fulquard.
She's my girl.
Hi Audrey. Are you hungry?
I sure am. I could eat a horse.
Oh. Well, sit right down, and I'll go get the first course.
Sit here, Audrey.
You want me to take your sweater?
Well... yeah.
Never mind that.
Well, now try this.
It tastes like cough syrup.
Dr. Phlegm's cough syrup
A toast?
- To Audrey Jr.! - No, to Audrey Sr.!
You! You glutton, you!
Tonight I keep an eye on you.
I don't let nobody get near you.
Coming soup.
No, don't touch it till I get a little flavouring.
Gee, Audrey.
You sure look good by candlelight.
Do I really, Seymour?
- Yes. - Here you are.
Now try.
Sure smells different.
It's different.
Some kind of oil, isn't it?
Cod liver oil.
Wonderful for the colon.
And that's sulphur powder on top.
Feed me.
Feed me!
I'm hungry.
Open it is.
Feed me!
I didn't hear it.
Feed me!
I heard it.
I want food.
A talking plant we got.
I'm hungry.
No.
Hungry?
And other fine kettle von fish!
Who would you like to have tonight?
You look fat enough.
We not only got a talking plant, we got one that makes with smart cracks.
Will you listen to me, you botanical bum?
Food you wouldn't get.
Not from Gravis Mushnick.
I'm starved.
Excellent.
You would unpopulate all Skid Row.
Well...
You can forget about it.
You wouldn't get fed from Gravis mushnick tonight.
Good night
You'll get yours.
I kinda like this chow mein.
Uh, if it tastes a little bitter...
it's because it's made of Chinese herbs and it's...
flavored with accra myosin.
Epsom salt.
There ain't another cook in the whole world like my ma.
That's what your old man said before the last ran out on me.
You know, if you're gonna be married, you gotta be a good cook.
Maybe you could teach me.
You thinkin' to get married?
- He hasn't asked me yet. - Who hasn't?
Seymour.
Seymour's too young to get married.
Look here. A boy's got to go and play around a little bit.
Go out on the makin'.
Have a ball.
Gee, ma. I don't wanna have a ball. I wanna be with Audrey.
- Now look, Seymour. - Oh, Seymour.
You promised you wouldn't get married until you bought me an iron lung.
You've been breathing for years, ma.
Well, it ain't easy.
It ain't easy, son.
Nobody's here.
Black cats, 13th job...
Friday 13th. Stupid superstition.
Alright, you.
Come out of there.
Don't shoot, Mister.
I'm old and sick. I wouldn't hurt even a fly.
Come out in the light where I can see you.
Come on.
Please don't shoot.
Please.
Please. I'm only Gravis Mushnick. You wouldn't want to kill me.
Where would you hide the body?
Don't worry. I'm not gonna shoot you.
- Not unless you try something. - Try something?
I never tried anything in my life.
I wouldn't try anything now. You want my money? Take it.
You want I should go out and steal you some more? That's alright, too. I'll do it.
Thank you very much.
I like your brand of hospitality.
You'll excuse it isn't more. I'm only a poor florist
Yeah, yeah.
You got about 30 bucks here.
Come on now. Where's the rest of it?
I was in here this afternoon. I saw about 30,000 people in here...
They must have spent some money. Where is it?
There ain't no more money. They came in to look on the plant.
It's a big attraction. Audrey Jr.
The plant. Don't try to snow me, Jim.
30,000 square didn't come in just to look for a plant.
I want it!
I don't got no more money. Honest. Believe me.
Ok, let's try this.
One...
Two...
Three...
- Four... - I ain't got no more money, honest!
Alright. Try it the other way around. Five...
Four...
Three...
- Two... - Alright.
Alright.
Alright, big bad. Where?
In the plant.
In the plant?
The big plant, Audrey Jr.
I-inside the big leaf?
That's right. Inside.
H-h-how do you get it open?
Just knock.
In there?
In there.
Inside.
In the bottom.
I don't see anything.
Way inside.
Right at the bottom.
Argh!
Oi, what I did?
I don't care about you got a date with Audrey tonight.
I am no more sitting up with that no-goodnik plant.
But, see, Mr. Mushnick, you don't have to sit up with it any more.
- It's all grown up now. - Excellent.
Smart guy. How do you know it don't be hungry no more?
- Well because... - Tonight you are staying!
Then tomorrow they are coming and they are going to give you a trophy...
and then after that we are getting rid once and for all for that plant!
- Getting rid of it? Why? - Don't ask. Why? Why?
The end. Into the garbage can.
Aloha.
Oi. Yes, Mrs. Shiva?
Oh, Seymour.
Your wonderful plant!
Oh, that's alright, Audrey.
I'll grow other plants, even more wonderful ones.
I know you will.
Did you figure out what we're doing tonight?
Yeah we're going to place full of beautiful flowers.
- We have to stay here. - Yeah.
Well, never mind. We'll have a picnic.
It'll be just like going to the country.
- Oh, boy! - Flowers and...
and pink azaleas, for the arbour,...
- and the 9000 yellow mons for the... - For the border.
- And the... the roses - I got them around the back.
What do you mean you're going to a picnic at night with that Fulquard girl?
Don't you like Audrey, ma?
She's out after your money.
I don't have any money.
Oh, she's a smart one.
She'll latch onto ya till ya get some and then goodbye, fortune!
But Audrey's honest girl, ma.
Yeah, never trust a woman who's too healthy
But Audrey had a bad cold a few weeks ago.
Oh, cold, a puny cold.
Why don't you get yourself a real female with...
something decent like...
pneumonoconiosis, or-or gall stones?
Well, maybe she could catch something like that.
The only thing she'll catch is you.
And she'll take you off to some shady sanatorium...
and leave me to chiropractors and faith healers.
I know when I'm not wanted.
Oh, gee, ma.
Don't feel sorry for me.
I'll just find a nice, wet alley somewhere...
and curl up and wait for the end.
Oh, please don't die till I get back, will you ma?
I'll take care of you. I'll always take care of you, I promise!
- Yeah. - Bye.
Gee, Audrey, I've never tasted food like this before.
It's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Peanut butter and jelly - what does that cure?
Nothing. It's just a food.
What good is it if it doesn't clear up pimples...
or shrink your sinus tissues or something?
You're just being silly, Seymour.
Seymour, what do you wanna be?
Oh, I wanna grow things.
If I had a lot of money, I'd go to the South Seas,..
Where they grow the most fabulous plants in the world.
That sounds exciting.
Yeah.
I'd like to go to the South Seas, too.
There's no reason why you couldn't go.
Would you take me with you, Seymour?
Oh, I couldn't very well go without you, Audrey.
Why not?
Because...
Because I'm in love with you, Audrey.
Oh, I'm in love with you, too, Seymour.
Feed me.
What'd you say?
I'm... I'm just kidding.
I'm hungry!
Seymour!
- I didn't mean it. - Why did you say it?
Oh. Food.
You didn't even say that.
Oh yes I did. I said it. I said it.
Oh, I'm looking right at you.
Well, I'm a ventriloquist.
You're what?
- A ventrilo... - Feed me!
Seymour, do you feel all right?
Well, I don't know. I'm not sure.
Well, then stop all this nonsense and kiss me.
I'm dying from hunger!
Alright, if you're so hungry, eat something but...
forget about me.
Gee, I'm sorry, Audrey.
Give me to eat!
If you can't control yourself, I'm going home.
I need some chow.
Ooh, my empty stomach.
Audrey, please wait. Listen to me.
I've listened to all the nonsense I wanna hear, Seymour.
You're a nut.
You tell me that you love me and then you you act like a complete idiot.
Please listen, Audrey.
I'll be able to explain everything soon.
Why can't you explain now?
Because so many things are so important.
I wanna marry you.
But I gotta take care of mom.
Well, that plant in there is gonna make it all come true.
Tomorrow they're gonna give me a trophy and I'll be famous.
I'll be a big botanist.
And then we can go to the South Seas just like we planned and all.
But that doesn't have anything to do with what went on in there.
When you're ready to come to your senses, Seymour,...
then I'll talk to you.
Good night, Seymour.
Feed.
I'm getting pretty tired of you.
I need food.
I don't care what you need.
Look what you've done to me.
You not only made a butcher outta me, you drove my girl away.
Shut up, and bring on the food!
Don't tell me to shut up - you shut up!
Who raised you from a bunch of little seeds?
Who fed you all them high-class fertilizers and sat up with you when you were sick?
Nodody else would have done that for you.
You think anybody else would have brought you human beings to eat?
Darm right, they wouldn't.
Well, I've helped you and you've helped me.
Now shut your trap and go to sleep. I'm tired.
Krelborn!
Turn around!
Close your eyes.
You are asleep.
Open your eyes.
Now you will do as I say.
Will you follow me?
Yes, master.
You will go out and find me some food!
Yes, master.
Now begone.
And waste no time.
Idiot!
My name is Leonora Clyde.
How's the rain on the rhubarb?
Master is hungry.
Well, hello there.
I gotta find food for master.
Food I gotta find for master.
For master I gotta find food.
Maybe I can help.
- Who're you? - My name is Leonora Clyde.
I love you.
Master wants food.
Let the old goat wait.
The night is young and so are we.
Master doesn't eat goat.
Well what kind of food does he like?
Oooh.
That's more like it.
Kiss me!
What's the matter, don't you like me?
Too bony.
Too bony?
Nobody ever told me that before.
Beef is better than veal.
Ach.
You're such a dodo.
What do you call this? Chopped liver?
Mmm.
Haha.
Master would like more fat.
Speak for yourself, John.
My name is Seymour.
"My name is Seymour."
That's my name, too.
Ach. Are you interested are you just wasting my time?
I never thought anybody would volunteer.
Do you volunteer?
Sure I do.
Alright, if you're sure you want to... volunteer.
Alright. My place or yours?
I don't care.
Well,... flip a coin.
I don't have a coin.
Flip anything, silly.
Well, there's a rock.
Wet or dry?
Wet.
The search was narrowing...
and we knew that soon we would have the killer.
Not that we had any more clues than before.
But we had to tell the chief something.
I had that feeling in my bones that the mystery was frawing to its climax.
And I was determined to be on hand.
Alright. Out, out, out.
Nobody is in.
Today we have a special occasion for Seymour Krelborn...
which has invented a big plant.
So I want everybody just please stay out of the way.
We want Seymour! We want Seymour!
I tell you, this business is worse than being a conductor in a revoluting door.
I'll be glad when this day is finished.
But the celebration!
They're presenting my son with a trophy.
Yeah? What'd he do - run away from home?
Please don't look at me that way, Audrey.
I wanna talk to you.
I'm sorry Seymour.
I just don't understand you.
I'll explain everything after the ceremony.
Yo! Police - what are you doing here?
Heard there was something going on here this evening.
Just so, we'd keep come by, keep an eye on things
Look we don't need no eyes kept on nothing. Everything...
The Society Of Silent Flower Observers has arrived...
and sunset is almost upon us.
Welcome, lady and gentlemen.
We are honoured for to have you.
Still working on those disappearances.
We think they were murdered.
Hey, look here young man.
That's no way to talk at a time like this.
Let me see your tongue.
M-hm.
You know what you got?
Just the facts, ma'am.
Trench mouth.
Oh, I know, I had it back in '09.
- Better have that looked into, Frank. - Whatever you say, Joe.
Mr. Krelborn?
Uh, the sun is going down now and, uh...
you do think those buds are going to open?
I hope so.
Because if they don't, Mr. Krelborn,...
we shall just have to present the award at another time.
Oh! It's starting to open!
Remarkable!
Oh. Well, the first bud is open.
- Isn't that... - The railroad cop.
Look at the rest.
Aaaah!
What do you think, Frank?
They're all there, Joe.
Yes, you're right.
Mr. Krelborn, how do you explain this?
I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it!
That's right, officer. He didn't mean to kill them.
Oh!
Seymour, you promised you'd explain.
He's getting away, Joe.
Yes, you're right. Let's catch him.
Right.
- Oh, now the float will be perfect! - Yeah.
You wouldn't find him here with the toilets.
Let's go back.
You dirty rat plant. You messed up my whole life!
Feed meeeee!
I'll feed you.
I'll feed you like you've never been fed before.
Better to give up, gentlemen.
You wouldn't find him tonight.
Fuck. The door is open, Frank.
He was such a good boy.
Seymour!
I didn't mean it.