他自己 Himself.
欢迎大家 I wanna welcome you.
我希望这会是你的一次伟大探险 To what, I hope，will be, for your, a great great Adventure.
因为我们会去调查，探索，发现 For we are going to be probing and exploring and uncovering…
对有些人甚至是揭示 and for some of you guys, we are going to be unraveling…
男人是什么 what a man is,
男人能什么样 what a man can be,
男人应该什么样 what a man should be,
在一些情况下，男人必须做什么 what a man must be on certain occasions
如果他真的想从心里觉得自己是个男子汉的话 if he is going to feel a sense of real masculinity within himself.
你知道有很多人不这么想 You Know There are a lot of guys that don't feel that way.
有很多人内心觉得自己在漂泊 There are a lot of guys that inside they just feel like they're drifting.
一件让我非常激动的事情 And One of the things that's been so exciting
是我有机会在过去十年里 about this particular uh opportunity that i've had to be with men over the last 10 years
和男人们在一起 看到他们找到了生活的中心 is to see guys find a center
不是在外面 而是在自己的内心 not out here, but inside themselves
开始找一个地方让他们能更坚定 更清楚 更确定自己是谁 begin to find a place that they can stand a lot firmer and clear and sure about who they are as men
你知道当一个人发现这个中心的时候 会发生一些美妙的事情 And You Know Something wonderful happens when a guy finds that
他成了一股不可忽视的力量 he becomes a force to be reckoned with.
当他清楚自己是谁 清楚自己要去哪里 When he's clear about who he is and clear about where he's going
我们今年要讲的 what we're going to be talking about this year
是作为男人 我们要去向哪里 Where we're going is men
我们称之为伟大的冒险 we're calling it the great adventure
你准备好迎接伟大的冒险了吗 And are you ready for the great adventure
我希望你准备好了 I hope you are
比尔要求你们举手来告诉大家 You Know I bill was asking for show of hands
谁参加过男人天空一 二 三 for some of you've been to men's paternity one minutes 32, and so on
就一会儿 我想看举手 Just for a moment, I would like to see a show of hands.
有多少人从未经历过男人的联谊会 How many guys have never been through men's fraternity
我只想看看这是你第一次 I just want to see this is your first time
不 No
这是你第一次参加男子联谊会吗 Is this your first time to go through men's fraternity
好吧 举起手来 All right, just keep your hand up
天啊 真是难以置信 你和我们一起开始了 Gosh That's just incredible that you're starting out with us
我想对我们其他人来说 And I think for the rest of us
我想我们应该为你加入我们鼓掌 I think we ought to give you a round of applause for joining with us
几年前你就知道了 You Know A number of years ago
我无意中发现了这件事 因为那些人来找我 他们只是说 I stumbled into this because the men came into me and they just said
你知道我们只是觉得我们需要聚在一起 you know we just feel like we need to get together
我们感到不自在 We feel disconnected
所以我问他们为什么这么想 还有 And So I asked them why they felt that way. And uh
有很多不同的评论 there was a lot of kind of different comments
但没什么很清楚的 but nothing real clear on
小组里有个人说 One of the guys in the group said
你知道我只是想和其他人在一起 变得真实 you know I just would like to get to get with some other guys to be real
就像我们在兄弟会时一样 you know kind of like we did when we were back in the fraternity.
我在大学里参加过一个兄弟会 Well I was in a fraternity in college
我不确定我是否想回去 and I'm not sure I want to go back there
但我觉得他想告诉我的是 Uh But But I think what he was trying to tell me
是因为你知道你大学毕业后就开始工作了吗 was that you know you you finish college and you get out in the work world
还有 And
所有这些力都在那里起作用 there are all these forces that work there
但慢慢地 And slowly, though
你有很多肤浅的关系 you have a lot of superficial relationships
不知怎的 总有一天你会发现自己在一个孤独的地方 Uh Somehow you'd find yourself one day in a place where you're alone
用你的感情和想法 with your feelings and your thoughts,
你的梦想 野心和恐惧 and your dreams and your ambitions and your fears.
不知怎的 这个世界 And somehow the world
让你戴上这个面具 在上面谈论高尔夫 has caused you to put this mask on where you can talk about golf
你可以谈谈剃须刀 And you can talk about the razorbacks
你可以谈谈生意上的事 And you can talk about business deals
但你不能谈论你 but you can't talk about you.
你能去哪里 So Where can you go to do that?
我觉得这就是 And I think that is really what
开始了我们在社区中所拥有的这个特殊的um部门机会的成功 started the success of this particular um ministry opportunity that we've had in the community
因为我们从 Because we started with
你知道几年前在razorback jim的markham有50个人吗 you know about 50 guys over on markham at the razorback jim years ago,
只是谈论不同的话题 然后 just talking about different subjects. And then
我们终于明白了做人的意义 we eventually got to this issue of what it means to be a man
突然之间 And all of a sudden
每年都有越来越多的男人成为第一名 more and more men every year started coming first
几百和四百 couple hundred and 300 and 400
几年前 700 and a couple of years ago, 700.
这不奇怪吗 Is that not amazing
但让我告诉你这是多么的神奇 But let me tell you as amazing that it is
就像它说的那样 as it says something
它阐述了我国男性化的现状 It makes a statement about the state of masculinity in our country.
上面说男人们渴望聚在一起谈论成为男人意味着什么 It says that men are hungry to get together and talk about what it means to be a man
意思是男人需要方向感 It means that men need some sense of direction
他们需要探索自己的男子气概 是谁 是什么 They need to explore their masculinity and who they are and what they are
他们要去哪里 这就是我们要做的 and where they're going. And that's what we're gonna do
今年 this year
事实上 我想告诉你明斯兄弟会基本上会为你做三件事 Fact, I want to tell you that mince fraternity basically will do three things for you
这是第一个 Here's the first one
它要做的第一件事 The first thing it's gonna do
那会是一个你可以畅所欲言的地方 it's gonna be a place where you can talk openly
我想公开而安全地说 And I want to say openly and safely
关于它的含义 about what it means
做一个男人 to be a man.
很重要的是我们要有一个可以公开安全交谈的地方 It's really important that we have a place where we can talk openly and safely
你知道每年 You Know Every year
当我们结束兄弟会的时候 When we finish men's fraternity
我们调查了一下 we kind of take a survey of
他们今年一起经历的事 what the guys experience when they went through this year together.
我认为每年都会有一件事像男人告诉我的一样重要 And One of the things that comes out of every year that I think is so important as men will tell me this
他们会说 They'll say
我发现我并不孤单 I discovered I'm not alone.
我不是一个人在我的感觉 在我的恐惧中 I'm not alone in my feelings, in my fears,
在我看来我要面对的是 in my sense of what I'm dealing with
你知道我以为我一个人 you know I thought I was all alone
其他人看起来都做得很好 Everybody else look like they're doing great
我问乔他怎么样了 I ask joe how he's doing
他说 好吧 He said, fine
大家都说没事 Everybody says fine.
但我身上有些东西 But there are things in me that
不一定没事的 are not so necessarily fine on things
我都不太明白 I don't really even understand
这么小的兄弟会 So mince fraternity
当我听到其他人谈论我的小组时 As I listen to other guys talking my small group
他们帮助我理解 they help me understand
我不是一个人 I'm not alone
他们都在处理同样的事情 They were all dealing with the same things
我想让你知道我们都是 And I want you to know we all are
我们都在处理生活中同样的问题 We're all deal with the same issues in life
我们都需要鼓励 and we all need encouragement
我们都需要男人为我们加油 We all need guys to cheer for us
我们都需要一种可以公开交谈的友谊感 We all need a sense of of of companionship where we can talk openly
彼此之间 with one another
男人们迫切需要这个 Guys desperately need that
我需要那个 I need that
其次 这是我一年来思考的地方 Secondly, it's a place where I think over the course of the year
如果你能和我们一起度过这一年的话 if you'll hang with us through the course of the year
你会成为终结者的 you'll be a finisher
那它会做什么呢 Then what it's gonna do
它能让你亲自处理自己的阳刚之气吗 Is It's gonna allow you to personally process your own masculinity
我觉得每个人都需要这个 我们很多人都是和远方的父亲一起长大的 And I think every guy needs that. A lot of us grew up with distant dads,
断开连接的爸爸 所以我们失去了一些东西 disconnected dad. So we lost something in that.
所以我们可能还在恢复过程中 也许你是 And So we're still in the process maybe of recovering that. Maybe you are.
但即使你有一个父亲 他是一个很有教养的领导者 他们还是会来到一个自己被抛弃的地方 他们现在要独自一人去处理他们的阳刚之气 But even if you had a a dad who is a a strong nurture and leader guys still come to a place where they get cast out in the world on their own and they're having to process their masculinity now alone
所以他们需要一个地方可以和其他人联系开始这个过程 So they need a place where they can go and connect with other guys to begin that process
我想让你知道那在这里 I want you know that's here,
这是一个小组 在这里讲课 在这里讲课 that's here in a small group that's here in the lectures that's here
就在这门课上形成的友谊中 just in the friendships that will be formed over the course
今年的 of this year.
如果你经历过男人的亲子鉴定 那也是个地方 And it's also a place if you've been through men's paternity
你们知道这是个我们可以来自嘲的地方 you guys know it's a place where we can come and laugh at ourselves a little bit
笑起来真好 It's good to laugh
对灵魂有益 It's good for the soul
也许没人能为我做得更好 And probably nobody does that better for me
如果你是一号和二号律师的话 And if you've been on mister attorney one and two
然后戴夫·贝瑞 then dave berry
我想我应该先从《男人的父亲3》开始读一点选集 and I thought i'd start off men's paternity three by just reading a little selection
这样我们就可以继续笑下去了 So we could laugh a little bit of ourselves where we go on
今天剩下的时间里 into the rest of the session here today.
在我发现的这个特别的东西里 In this particular thing that I found
他只是在说男女之间的差异 he's just talking about the differences in men and women
关于他们在家里的清洁价值 in regards to uh their values around the home in cleanliness.
他是这么说的 Here's what he says.
女人和男人对清洁的概念截然不同 Women guys have profoundly different concepts of clean.
女人打扫浴室的时候 When a woman cleans a bathroom
她会带着许多专门的产品和工具进去 she will go in there with numerous specialized products and implements
用于清洁 擦洗 for cleansing, scouring
擦亮 除臭玻璃 shining, and deodorize ing the glass
我要的瓷器 the porcelain that i'll
她甚至会花几个小时在水泥浆上 she'll spend even hours on the grout.
她会在分子水平上清除污垢 She will eradicate dirt on a molecular level
她会追踪并摧毁每一个人 She will track down and destroy each individual
磨坊 做孢子 Mill, do spore
她能听到细菌的声音让它们尖叫 she can actually hear the germs and she can make them scream,
可以 okay,
戴着那个家伙 wears the guy
如果有人让我打扫浴室的话 If instructed to clean the bathroom
我们用一条纸巾进去 we'll go in there with a single paper towel
他找到的第一个喷雾瓶 And the first spray bottle he finds
可能是风x 也可能是突袭 it might be wind x or it could even be raid
他不会在意是否真的要把浴室打扫干净 He will pay no attention to whether or not he's actually getting the bathroom cleaner
因为他真的相信 because he really believes
当真菌生长达到一定的规模和攻击性水平时 that when fungal growth reaches a certain size and aggressiveness level
是时候找个新地方住了 it's time to find a new place to live
可以 Okay,
是 啊 yeah.
还有洗衣房 And then there's laundry.
我们来看看下面这封信的节选 Let's consider this excerpt from the following letter
亲爱的 一天早上 我丈夫宣布他发现前一天晚上在一次为期两天的商务旅行的前夜 他脱了内裤 Dear day, my husband announced one morning that he had discovered the previous night on the eve of a 2 day business trip that he was out of underwear
为什么 他告诉我 我不知道 我没穿内裤就不告诉他 Why? He told me, I don't know. I never tell him when I'm out of underwear.
是 啊 Yeah,
是真的 还有那些家伙 it's true. And the guys
不管怎样 我决定用真人秀的方式来弥补这个问题只洗了三套内衣 anyway decided to remedy the situation in true guy fashion by washing exactly three sets of underwear
就这样无视他那满是内裤的大篮子 thus disregarding the bulging hamper full of the rest of his underwear
大概他以为会自己洗的 which, presumably he thought would wash itself
签署 来自阿尔伯克基的艾莉森·舒勒 signed. Allison shuler from albuquerque.
戴夫接着说 Dave then says
这是一个非常伤人的例子 this is a perfect example of the kind of hurtful
关于男人的陈词滥调 stereotypical blanket statement about guys
我们一直在打造的女性群体 that women as a group we're always making.
就因为夫人肩膀丈夫不洗衣服并不意味着没有数百万的男性会洗衣服然后晾干 Just because missus shoulders husband doesn't do the laundry doesn't mean that there aren't millions upon millions of males who do do their laundry and then hang it out to dry
在这个星球的三个儿子 祖玛的统治下 under the three sons of the planet, zou ma.
休斯敦大学 Uh
很好 good.
他们显然住的地方 where they obviously live.
我承认 I will admit
然而 地球上大多数男人洗衣服的次数并不比他们必须洗的多 however, that most guys here on earth do not do more laundry than they absolutely have to
这是为什么 Why is this
还是男人一无是处 不负责任的人渣 or guys simply worthless? Irresponsible scum?
对 Yes.
但女人还是不让男人洗衣服 But a woman wouldn't let a guy do her laundry anyway
除非他接受了多年的训练 unless he underwent years of training
因为她以为他会把事情搞砸导致她的衣服缩水 Because she assumed he'd screw it up and cause her garments to shrink down
可爱的小铃铛衣服 to cute little tinker bell clothes
或是在一个干燥的夏天 类似电影《苍蝇》中那个不幸的人的遭遇 or trans materialize in a drier summer similar to what happened to that unfortunate man in the movie the fly
所以她最后会 So she'd wind up
比如巴西有裤腿 for example with the Brazil that had pant legs
我不是在为男人辩护 I'm not defending guys here
我只是说我们中的很多人都有强烈的洗衣恐惧症并将继续遭受这种病的折磨 I'm just saying that a lot of us have developed a powerful laundry phobia and will continue to suffer from it
只要女人转动眼睛把我们从洗衣机上推下来 as long as women roll their eyes and shove us away from the washing machine
当我们要做的时候 When we're about to do
比如 洗我们精致的丝绸和和船罩一样的衣物 for example, wash our delicate silks and the same load as our boat cover
是 啊 Yeah,
是的 我们在这些方面有问题 yes, we guys have a problem in these areas
但这不是我们的错 but it's not our fault
我们说的是自然 We're talking about nature here
很像磁带蠕虫 It's a lot like tape worms.
磁带蠕虫的公众形象往往是负面的 Tape worms tend to have a negative public image
因为有令人厌恶的有机体进入人的肠子 吃人的食物 长到60英尺高 because there are repulsive organisms that get inside people's intestines and eat people's food and grow to links of 60 feet
但这是他们的错吗 But is it is it their fault?
不 No,
这是他们的天性 it's their nature.
我们也一样 And We guys are no different
事实上 男人就像磁带虫一样 In fact, guys are exactly like tape worms
除了一个区域 except in one area
磁带 虫子更有可能帮助洗碗 tape, worms are more likely to help with the dishes.
嗯 Well
多年来我们都想笑 我们想谈谈 we wanna laugh over the course of the years. Well We wanna talk about
让我们成为男人的东西 things that make us guys
但最重要的是 But most importantly
我们想谈谈什么让我们成为男人 we want to talk about what makes us men
我想也许我们可以先做一个大的概述 And I thought maybe just to start us out, we'd do a big picture overview
给你一张简单的方位图来表达男人间的友谊 of men's fraternity by giving you just a simply just a a diagram of orientation
在你的提纲上 It's there on your outline
我们把它放在屏幕上 and we'll put it up here on the screen
但我想让你知道男人的兄弟会是什么 But I want to give you a sense of what men's fraternity is
因为这真的是三年的课程 because it's really a 3 year curriculum
在那三年里 Uh And over that course of three years
我们朝着一个方向前进 we're building in a direction
现在 为你们这些第一次来这里的人 Now, for those of you who are here for the very first time
我想让你知道你已经进入第三年了 I want you to know you're in the 3rd year
今年是一个全新的男子联谊会 And this is a whole new men's fraternity this year
明年我们会重新开始男性亲子鉴定一 二 三 Next year we'll start men's paternity one again and go one, two, and three.
但是给你一个概述让大家知道你是否能让我们跟上进度 But to give you an overview to give everybody know if you'd kind of bring us up uh to speed
我们来看看一号律师的名字吧 let's just kind of walk through what the name of minced attorney one
二加三是 two and three is
男子联谊会的名字一被称为追求真正的男子气概 Name of men's fraternity one was called the quest for authentic manhood
这是一种基础 一种水平 It's kind of a foundation, a level
关于男子气概 男子联谊会 concerning manhood. Men's fraternity to was
工作和家庭中的男人 a man at work and at home
专注于两个特定领域 focused on kind of two specific areas
这对一个人的生活和事业至关重要 that predominantly are central to a man's life, his career,
还有他的家人 and his family,
现在在明斯特 转t 3 Then now here in minster turn a t 3
我们说的是他世界里的一个人 We're talking about a man in his world
是的 是外面发生的事 It's It's It's what's out beyond that
这是他的未来 这是他伟大冒险中的一个人 And it's what's in his future? It's called a man in his great adventure
你知道第一个是一楼的律师第二个是墙 You Know Where the first one was kind of a ground floor minced attorney two were kind of the walls
现在我们要给房子盖上屋顶 And now we're putting the roof on the house
有男子气概 of masculinity.
明斯兄弟会的焦点是一个男人的核心身份 The focus of mince fraternity one was a man's core identity
它处理身份问题 It deals with identity issues
基本的概念 uh just basic kind of concepts
而男人的兄弟会则负责处理男人的责任 whereas men's fraternity to dealt with a man's responsibilities
他的主要职责 his chief responsibilities
然后是三号检察官 你在这里是一个人的命运 and then minster attorney three. What you're herein is a man's destiny.
是 啊 Yeah,
男子友爱一号的主要元素 the chief elements in men's fraternity one
是一个人的伤口 它在回顾他的过去 was a man's wounds. It's looking back into his past
看看那些可能会让他失去男子气概的东西 and looking at the things that maybe miss shaped part of his masculinity
所以我们对一个人的过去做了很多调查 So we do a lot of probing in a man's past
一号检察官 in minster attorney one
我们给男人下了个定义在一个男人终于可以站起来的地方 And we give a definition of man at a place where guys can finally stand
做我认为美国大多数男人做不到的事 and do what I think most men in America still can't do
如果有人问他们这个问题的话 And that is if they were asked the question
什么是男人 what is a man
可以 Okay,
如果有人问你这个问题 if you were asked the question
你们这些第一次来这里的人 you guys who are here for the very first time
什么是男人 what is a man
你能给我们简单点吗 Could you give us a succinct
你所说的激情定义 passionate definition of it that you say
我就是这样活着的 That's what I'm living to be
看 大多数人都做不到 See, most guys can't.
大多数人在那一点上都是空白 Most guys just draw a blank at that point
一号检察官真是个烂人 So minced attorney one
我们给出了男子气概的定义并概述了一些基本的男子气概问题 we give this definition of manhood and we overview some basic manhood issues
那么对主要元素的巨大友爱就是一个人如何享受并以全新的方式从事他的工作 Then immense fraternity to the chief elements are how a joy a man enjoys and engages his work in a whole new way
其次 他是如何成功地联系的 And then secondly, how he successfully relates
对一个女人来说 to a woman,
这是男人生活的一大部分 which is a big part of a man's life
最后 And then finally
在这一分钟里兄弟会三 in this one mins fraternity three
我们要做的是重新发现生活中的一些冒险 what we're gonna be doing is rediscovering some of the adventure of life
我们一会儿再谈为什么要这么做 And we'll talk about why we need to do that here in a moment
但它也能理解我是谁 But its understanding also who I am,
作为一个男人 我的独特之处是什么 Uh What What What are the uniqueness is that I have as a man
所以我们要讨论的是设计问题 so we're gonna be talking about design issues
如何设计男人 how men are designed
以及你的独特设计 and how you uniquely are designed
然后发现我所谓的满足的生活焦点 and then discovering what I call a satisfying life focus
如果你和我们还有一个律师在一起 最大的挑战就是我们的电话 The major Challenge if you were with us and minced attorney one was this call that we made
那孩子一定死了 the boy must die
如果你是一号律师先生你知道那意味着什么 Now if you were in mister attorney one you know what that means
但总有一个地方 男人得把幼稚的东西收起来 But there comes a place where a man has got to put away childish things.
他必须继续他的生活我称之为真正的男子气概真正的男子气概问题 He's got to move on in his life to what I call real masculine real manhood issues
所以你里面的那个男孩必须死在男子联谊会一和男子联谊会里 So the boy in you must die in men's fraternity one and men's fraternity too
更重要的是你必须挺身而出 It's more of the man in you must step forward
向那些 step forward into those areas that
是你生命中最重要的部分 are most central to your life
踏入职场 坚定信念 Step forward in the workplace with conviction
完全不同 A whole different
不仅仅是发工资的信念 uh conviction that goes beyond just making a paycheck
这是职场上的一股力量 It's being a force in the workplace
然后在你的家里 作为你家的领导 以及你如何与你的妻子和孩子相处 And then also stepping forward in your home as the leader of your home and how you relate to your wife and your children
你在那里的责任 the responsibilities you have there
然后在这个男人的兄弟会里 And then in this particular men's fraternity
我们要做的就是冒险 what we're doing is the adventure
我们说的是冒险 你必须活着 We're talking about the adventure and you must live.
因为在人生道路上的某个地方 Because somewhere along life's path
很多人失去了人生的冒险 a lot of guys lose the adventure of life
只是变得很难 It just becomes hard.
男人联谊会一号的热情在夺走你的男子气概 The passion of men's fraternity one was seizing your manhood.
男人们的兄弟会的热情也在建立 The passion of men's fraternity too was establishing
你的男子气概 your manhood
还有这个兄弟会的热情 and the passion of this men's fraternity
男人的亲子关系三是最大化的 Men's paternity three is maximizing
你的男子气概 your manhood.
事实上 如果你看看最后一本关于激情的书 In fact, if you look in those that last one on passion
你们这些知道男人的定义的人 For those of you you guys who know the definition of manhood
我真的明白了 uh I really see the real
男性友爱的核心是拒绝被动 central part of men's fraternity one is rejecting passivity
你还记得吗 这就是特里一号的真正目的是它终于站出来说我要成为一名律师先生了 You remember that that's really what mince for terry one is it's it's it's finally stepping up and saying hey I'm gonna I'm gonna be a man mister attorney to is
接受责任 三号检察官正勇敢地领导着 uh accepting responsibility those chief responsibilities minster attorney three is now leading courageously
不是你的家人也不是工作场所 not your family and not in the workplace
带领你勇敢地踏上这伟大的冒险之旅 好让你得到上帝赐予你的一切 leading you courageously in this great adventure so that you might receive all that god's heads for you
在这一生中 in this life
这就是为什么三人的指示 And that's why the directive of the three
我只是这么说的 i'd put them just simply this way
31号先生是男方的亲子关系 男方的亲子关系 3号是男方的亲子关系 Mister 31 is go men's paternity to is fight and men's paternity three is when go fight and win
作为一个男人的生活 in life as a man.
嗯 Um,
现在让我们回到你看到的这个图上它说重新发现了主要元素 now let's just go back as you see this diagram where it says rediscovering into the chief elements
重新发现生命的冒险理解我的设计 rediscovering adventure of life and understanding my design on establishing
令人满意的生活焦点 a satisfying life focus
而那张图只在上面停留了一会儿 While that diagram stays up there just for a moment
我只是想停下来说 你知道的 I I just want to stop there and say, you know
为什么我们要把注意力集中在那里 why did we focus there
Y Y Y是重新发现生活中冒险的主要元素 Y y y is the the the chief elements about rediscovering an adventure in life
那是什么意思 What does that mean
我想做一点盘点看看你是否有需要 Well I want to do a little inventory and see if if if if you have some of the need
三世兄弟会要解决的问题是 that mince fraternity three seeks to address
我只想和你做个个人盘点 And I want to do that by just taking a personal inventory with you for a moment
问你几个问题 你就坐在那里思考这个问题 by asking you some questions. And you just sit there and reflect on this.
你喜欢你现在的位置吗 Do you like where you are
作为一个男人 你喜欢现在的位置吗 as a man? Do you like where you are right now?
当你把自己当成男人的时候 你对未来感到兴奋吗 When you think of yourself as a man? Is the future exciting to you?
我是说我们要继续做更多同样的事 I mean we're talking about going on and doing more of the same
你觉得刺激吗 Is that exciting to you
还是你在说什么 不 我有点想逃跑 Or is that something you're saying? No, I I I kind of want to escape
对你们中的一些20多岁就开始这么强壮的人来说 for some of you guys who start out so strong in your twenties
甚至到了三十多岁 and maybe even into your thirties
当你继续的时候 And as you went on
即使你成功了 and even as you succeeded
当你成功的时候 and as you succeeded
生活总是说你做得很好 life just kept saying ok you're doing good
它一直在你的背包里装的只是更多的责任 And what it kept loading on your pack is just more responsibility
你在中年的时候去过什么地方吗 Have you gotten to a place kind of in your mid years
在那里做更多你正在做的事情让人觉得负担重而不是兴奋 where doing more of what you're doing feels burdensome rather than exciting
你知道有很多人能做到 You Know There are a lot of guys that get there.
这一直是我的口头禅 That's been the constant refrain
我们将在人类历史上的某个时刻看到 As we'll see in a moment in human history
男人在人生中途会累的 Guys get tired midway through life
我喜欢艾德·西斯曼在声明中说的话 I like what ed sice man says in this statement
他说 40岁以上的男人 He said, men past 40
晚上起床 get up at night
看看城市的灯光和奇迹 look out at city lights and wonder
他们转错弯了 where they made the wrong turn.
为什么生命如此漫长 and why life is so long?
你有共鸣吗 Does that strike a chord in you?
对你们中年人来说 For some of you guys in midlife?
你知道你为什么来这里吗 Do you know why you're here?
这是个形而上学的问题 That's a metaphysical question.
你知道你为什么在这里生活 You Know Why you're here in life.
你知道你来这里干什么吗 有没有一种召唤你生命的感觉 Do you know what you're here for? Is there a sense of calling on your life?
有宿命感吗 Is there a sense of destiny
为了你的生活 为了你要去的地方 to your life about where you're going
在你的生活中有什么让你兴奋的原因吗 Is there a cause in your life that you're excited about
比你大吗 That's bigger than you?
休斯敦大学 Uh
你越来越有感觉了吗 do you have a growing sense
你身上有东西要死了 that something is dying in you,
但你不知道那是什么 but you don't know what it is.
你能感觉到 You can feel it,
但你无法表达 but you can't express it.
但越来越多的人觉得也许有些东西不见了 But there's just this growing sense that maybe something is missing.
你知道什么让你活着吗 Do you know what makes you come alive as a man?
你知道如果你去那些小溪里游泳的地方吗 Do you know the places where if you go into those swim into those streams
就像生活又变得令人兴奋了一样 It's like life becomes exciting again
与消音相反 as opposed to deadening
你知道那些区域是什么吗 Do you know what those areas are
最后 你在生活中玩得开心吗 And finally, are you having fun in life
你知道看起来男人们 You Know It seems that guys
过了一会儿 after a while
他们再也没有乐趣了 they don't have any fun anymore
他们还在做同样的娱乐活动 They They They're still doing some of the same recreation
但没有那种刺激感 but it just doesn't have the thrill
激情已逝 The thrill is gone
我们想探索是什么让人活着 We want to explore what makes a man come alive
是什么给他的生活带来了冒险 What brings adventure to his life
是什么让他有了宿命感 What gives him a sense of destiny
打电话来 And calling
这就是第三次亲子鉴定的意义所在 That's what mince paternity three is all about
你知道我喜欢诗篇90节 上面写着这个 You Know I love the verse in psalm 90. It says this
教我们数日 teach us to number our days
这是一首宏大的诗 It's kind of a big picture verse
是苍蝇买的东西之一 It's one of those fly buys
我们也是你能看到生命的一瞬间 We're also you can see all of life just for a moment
厌恶 And averse
教我们数算我们和我要把自己当作人的日子 teach us to number our days that we and I will put we as men
也许你有一颗智慧的心 might present to you got a heart of wisdom
当我们回顾我们的生活的时候 房间里有二十岁 三十岁 四十岁 that when we look over our life where the room where twenties or thirties or forties
那里有一颗智慧的心 there's kind of a heart of wisdom there
我们很高兴我们过了二十几岁 回首往事 Uh We're glad we we get past our twenties and look back and go
我很高兴我做到了 I'm glad I did that
我们过了三十多岁 回头看看三十多岁就走了 We get past our thirties and look back on our 30 and go
我很高兴我做到了 I'm glad I did that
一直到你身边 And all the way to you
终于到了生命的尽头 Finally get to the end of your life
你回头就走了 and you look back and you go
我很高兴我能这样生活 I'm glad I live that way
教我们数数日子 Teach us to number our days,
他们所有人 all of them
铭记大局 向智慧之心呈现 to live with the big picture in mind that we may present to the heart of wisdom
然后他说噢满足于我们可以快乐地唱歌 And then he says oh satisfies that we may sing for joy
我喜欢最后一句台词因为它很重要 And I love the last line because it's so important
在这种情况下 我们作为一个男人 可能会高兴一整天 And that we we as men in this case that we might be glad all our days.
是 啊 Yeah,
我告诉你 当我读到像《自我》这样的诗句时 这就是我想要的生活 I tell you, when I read a verse like ego, that's what I want for my life.
所以我告诉你别这样 So let me tell you out of that
这是我们今年的目标 Here's the goal that we have in mind for this year
今年男性亲子鉴定的目标就是 The goal of this year's men's paternity is just simply this
帮助你和利用年轻人就是帮助你思考人生中的长远问题 to help you and for use younger guys is to help stretch you to think out long term in your life
对于我们这些年纪稍大的人来说 For those of us who are a little bit older
这是为了帮助我们重新思考我们现在的处境也许可以重新塑造一下自己 it's to help us rethink kind of where we are and maybe reinvent ourselves a little bit
但这是为了帮助我们每个人 But it's to help each of us
以个人的满足来结束这一生 finish this life with personal satisfaction.
我们稍后会谈到的内心世界 An inner as we'll talk about later
充满自信的来世 the next life with confidence
甚至想过下辈子 maybe even thought about the next life
我们会考虑的 We're gonna think about it
如果我们是真正的冒险者 If we're a real adventure
我们要去某个地方 we're headed for somewhere
我们会在某个时候完成的 还有 and we're going to finish it sometime. And
如果你的哲学是当你完成的时候 if your philosophy is that when you're finished
你完了 you're done
这是我要鼓励你思考的一件事 That's one thing I'm going to encourage you to think even beyond that
进入下一个生命 to enter the next life
充满自信 with confidence.
我来假设一下 Let me give you some assumptions that I'm going to be making
给你四个假设 我会在我们一起度过这段时间的时候做出这些假设 give you four assumptions that i'll be making as we go through this time together
这是第一个 Here's the first one
我相信 很有可能我们的造物主希望我们经历一次有意义的冒险 I believe, odds our creator desires for us to live a meaningful adventure.
我们的创造者希望我们能经历一次有意义的冒险 Our creator desires for us to live a meaningful adventure
现在 我该怎么做呢 Now, how do I get to that
你知道的 打开圣经的书页 Well You Know Open the pages of scripture
如果你打开圣经读创世记 If you open up a bible and reading genesis
你读到的第一件事就是上帝对亚当说的话 one of the first things you read is what god said to adam
第一个人 the first man
他说 亚当 he said, adam
我希望你有成果 繁衍后代 I want you to be fruitful and multiply
我想让你做地球的事 And I want you to do the earth
好好想想 and just think about that for a moment.
这是第一个人 他是怎么开始的 Here's the first man and how did he start?
他不是从上帝开始的脱颖而出 He didn't start by god stand out
你知道我有一小块地 You Know I've got this little plot of ground
我要你在这个小花园里等着 I want you to till it this little garden
他对第一个人说 我要你征服地球 He said to the first man, I want you to subdue the earth.
现在让我说 这是一个很好的药丸吞在那里 Now let me say that's quite a that's quite a pill to swallow there.
这是一次冒险 Now that's an adventure
这是全球性的 that's global.
当耶稣和门徒在一起的时候 When jesus was with his disciples
就在他离开之前 right before he left
他转向门徒说 he turned to his disciples and he said
走遍世界 go into all the world
现在对于一些从来没有走远过的人来说 Now for some guys who had never been much further than
加利利海 the sea of galilee,
走进世界真是一次不可思议的冒险 going into all the world was an incredible adventure.
是 啊 Yeah.
然后耶稣亲自对我们说 And then you've got jesus himself saying to us,
作为男人 我来是为了让你拥有生命 告诉我什么 as men, i've come that you might have life and have it. What tell me
更加丰富 abundantly more abundantly.
现在 在这些小快照里 Now, in all of those little snapshots
至少从精神的角度来看 at least from a spiritual perspective
我想从中提取一个词 冒险这个词 the word i'd like to extract from that is the word adventure
这对亚当来说是一次冒险 It Was An Adventure For adam
对那些收税的渔民来说是一次冒险 It was an adventure for those fishermen that tax gather
第一个跟随上帝之子的人 who first followed around the son of god
耶稣邀请人们去冒险 It's an adventure that jesus is inviting people into
我想说的是 And what I want to say
我相信那是上天赐予任何人的 I believe that that comes from heaven to any man
我要你去冒险 The shout down to us is I want you to have an adventure
在你的生活中 in your life.
第二 我认为很多男人经常怀念冒险精神 Secondly, many men, I think often miss the spirit of adventure.
他们有时会完全想念它 And they miss it sometimes totally in their life
但我想更多时候别人会失去它 But I think more often others lose it
人生旅途中的某个地方 Somewhere along life's journey
生活不再是冒险了 Life doesn't become an adventure anymore.
我岳父几年前把他的图书馆给了我 My father in law several years ago gave me his library
他是个历史教授 He was a history professor
他给我的东西之一就是哈佛经典 One of the things he gave me were the harvard classics
50卷西方文明巨著 50 volumes of the great works of western civilization
我开始翻阅那些书 读一些英国诗人的作品 And I just begin to thumb through some of those books and reading some of the English poets
还有一件事在英国诗人中一直很突出 And one of the things that kept standing out in the English poets
是 was
我觉得那些人总是很忧郁 the the guys always seemed blue to me.
他们总是在谈论年轻人的荣耀 They always were talking about the glories of youth.
但从未有过荣耀感 But there was never any sense of glory
中年或老年时 in midlife or old age.
有点像我们在为星期五晚上的橄榄球赛或棒球场或兄弟会里的事而憔悴 It's kind of like we're pining away for Friday night football or the baseball diamond or what it was like in the fraternity
或者是孩子们和 or were kids running around with
你知道我们的朋友和类似的事情 you know our friends and stuff like that making
你知道堡垒之类的东西 you know forts and things like that
但是现在二十五点三十五分的生活让人觉得责任重大 But But life now at twenty five thirty five just feels like responsibility
所以我们总是回头看 So We always look back.
他们就是这么做的 That's what they were doing.
你知道我发现的是我读了很多哲学家的书 And You Know What i've found i've found is I read a lot of philosophers
他们也这么说 they say the same thing
他们不断地警告人们 They continually give this warning to men
就像是 that it's like
男子汉是半生 uh manhood is a half life.
然后你就在后半段沉思 And Then You just brood the second half away,
例如 这是一些引述 For instance. Here's some quotes.
这是梭罗 你已经听过无数次了 Here's thoreau. You've heard this million times on you.
这个 The
大多数人过着平静绝望的生活 the mass of men live lives of quiet desperation.
真令人沮丧 That is so discouraging.
或者艾伯特·斯威策的这句话呢 Or how about this quote from albert sweitzer?
人生的悲剧在于人的内心死亡 The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man,
即使他还活着 even as he lives.
或者但丁的这句话呢 Or how about this quote from dante?
在我人生的旅途中 我在一片黑暗的树林中醒来 In the middle of the road of my life, I awoke in a dark wood
在我生命中 我醒过来的时候 in the middle of my life. I kind of woke up and I was
在黑暗的树林里 我完全迷失了 in a dark wood and I was wholly lost.
显然那是 Evidently that is
人类的经历 an experience that men have
当他们在生活中航行时 as they navigate through their lives
但当他们到了中年时 But somehow when they get to the mid portion of their life
他们开始 they begin to
就好像 我已经过上了一种生活 it's like, i've kind of made a life
但我是说我已经谋生了 But I mean i've made a living
但我已经过上了生活 but I had made a life
你知道我在60年代长大时是披头士乐队的忠实粉丝 还有 You Know I was a big beatles fan when I grew up in the sixties. And
我女儿给了我圣诞礼物 披头士乐队的一张专辑 my daughter uh gave me for Christmas, the beatles one album, the
重新制作他们所有的头号作品 re make of all their number one hits.
我还以为你知道即使是那些家伙也有点惊慌失措 And I thought you know even those guys kind of sound the alarm a little bit
因为当你跟随他们的小旅程 because as you follow their little journey along
当你听他们的唱片时 as you listen to their records
你听到了吗 you hear them start out
你知道我想握着你的手来表达我对 You Know I wanna hold your hand kind of express experience of
你所知道的那种充满活力的年轻男子气概 kind of the vitality of you know virulent young masculinity
但当他们继续的时候 他们得到了 But then as they go on, they get
他们很沮丧 they get depressed.
然后你得到了我前几天开的这首歌 And then you've got this song I was driving on the other day
我只是在听那首歌 And I I was just listening the song
哪儿都没有 伙计 Nowhere, man
别忘了 伙计 Remember nowhere, man!
他真是个无名小卒 He's a real nowhere man
住在他荒无人烟的土地上 living in his nowhere land,
无处可去 无处可去 making all his nowhere plans for nobody
没有观点 doesn't have a point of view,
不知道他要去哪里 knows not where he's going to.
他是不是有点像 Isn't he a bit like
你和我 you and me?
他已经瞎了 He's as blind as he can be,
不知道他想要什么 knows not what he wants to be.
哪里都没有 老兄 Nowhere. Man,
你还能看见吗 can you still see at all
很多男人就是这样生活的 a lot of men live just that way.
如果你是个年轻人 And if you're a young man
有时候如果你不清楚你要去哪里 sometimes if you're not clear about where you're going
你会发现自己在一条小巷的尽头 where you're going to find yourself is at the end of an alley
一堵巨大的砖墙 with a big giant brick wall.
人们在某个漫长的地方失去了冒险的精神 Men lose their spirit of adventure somewhere a long life.
第三 我的假设是 Thirdly, here's my assumption
男人需要不断的冒险 Men need ongoing adventure
他们需要持续的冒险 They need ongoing adventure
问问迈克尔·乔丹 Just ask Michael Jordan.
我是说看看迈克尔的遭遇 I mean look at what's happened to Michael
你知道他完成得非常出色 You Know He finished in such a grand style
你难道不想用最后一枪结束你的篮球生涯吗 Would you not have wanted to finish your basketball career with that last shot
但你知道坐在桌子旁边的是什么吗 But you know what sitting around a desk
在一个对你的人生毫无远见的公司里 对像迈克尔·乔丹这样的人来说 不是一个适合你的地方 in a corporate office with no vision for your life is not a place for a guy like Michael Jordan is not a place for you either
如果你不知道你要去哪里 If you don't know where you're going with it.
那我们该怎么办 And So what are we gonna do
当男人不知道自己要去哪里的时候会怎么做 What do men do when they don't know where they're going
他们做的正是迈克尔·乔丹在做的事 They do exactly what Michael Jordan is doing
你想去哪 You wanna go where
后面 back
回来 back.
那就是冒险的地方 它不会在那里的 That's where the adventure was. It's not going to be there,
但他会再挤一滴大一点的 but he's gonna try to squeeze one more drop of a little bit bigger
因为男人是为冒险而生的 because men were built for adventure
休斯敦大学 Uh
有些人会犯相反的错误 some of us make an opposite mistake
我们走进生活 We go out into life
这是一次冒险的开始 and it is an adventure at the beginning
我们试图控制它 And we try to control it
过了一会儿 And after a while
当我们驯服生命时 when we tame life
当我们驯服它的时候 when we get it all tamed
我们控制了抵押贷款 控制了孩子 控制了生活 we've we've got the mortgage under control and the kids under control and the life under control
突然我们抬起头走了 All of a sudden we look up and we go,
这不好玩 this is no fun,
正确的 right?
我安全地玩了这么久 I played it safe so long
生活不再有趣了 that life's no fun anymore.
男人需要不断的冒险 Men need ongoing adventure
最后 我相信一个冒险家的生活方式往往不同 And finally, I believe an adventuresome man often lives differently
比那些盲目鼓掌的人强 than others who will applaud blindly on word.
但要做到这一点 他必须做出一些勇敢的选择 But for him to do that, he will have to make some courageous choices.
他得冒点险 And He will have to take some courageous chances.
有时候 他必须打破从众原则 And At times. He's gonna have to break with conformity.
你知道我今年最想做的事就是和这屋子里的人在一起 You Know What i'd love to do in the course of this year with the guys were in this room
如果你有这样的经历 会有不同的选择 there are going to be different ones if you'll have this experience
但如果能允许你们中的一些人去冒险 那就太好了 but it would be great to give some of you men permission to take a chance
重新找回你内心的梦想 to recapture the dream that's within you
或是你内心的渴望 or a desire that's within you
去争取吧 And go for it
而不是一直压抑着思考 rather than just keep pressing down thinking
总有一天我会到的 Someday i'll get there
但你越是强调这一点 But the more you press on that
你灵魂深处的债务人 the debtor it feels inside the interior of your soul,
有些人需要许可才能换工作 some of you need permission to change a job
因为你从来就不适合这份工作 because you were never meant for that job
你们中有些人需要许可才能跳出去尝试一些全新的东西来为自己进行一次新的冒险 Some of you need permission to jump out and try something brand new to take on a new adventure for yourself
不管是爱好还是 Whether it's a hobby or
某种冒险 an adventure of some kind
你必须能做到这一点他们提出了一个你可以为之而活的理由 you need to be able to do that are are come up with a cause that you can live for
比你还大 That's bigger than you
你已经掌握了这个世界 You've got this world mastered
但是 But
这不是为什么你在这个世界上只是为了掌握这个 this is not why you're in this world just to master this,
你被召唤到一个世界来贡献自己的力量 you were called into a world to contribute
那是什么能让你兴奋到你想起来的时候 What is that that would excite you so that when you think about it
你有麻烦了 you get tangles
我希望我们能允许我们走得更远 See, I would hope we could give permission to go far
试试看 冒险吧 Try it, risk it
出来吧 step out there
这就是阳刚之气 That's what masculinity was made for.
所以这些都是假设 So those are the assumptions
我们的创造者希望我们过一种有意义的冒险生活 Our creator desires us to live this meaningful adventure men's
我常常会想念它 Oftentimes me dit miss it
男人迫切需要它 Men desperately need it
但为了达到目的 But to get there
你得冒点险 you're gonna have to take some chances
一些勇敢的机会 你必须勇敢地领导 就像我们在民学院讲的31年那样 Some courageous chances you're gonna have to lead courageously as we talked about back in min's for 31
不是别人 是你自己 not others, but yourself
你自己 yourself.
现在有些承诺 我们会完成的 你可以加入你的团队 Now some promises and we'll be finished and you can get in your groups
让我给你七个我认为我能做出并兑现的承诺 Let me just give you seven promises I think I can make and deliver on
是 啊 Yeah,
首先 我觉得你会有很多机会去做男人经常做不到的事 first, I think you're gonna have some great opportunities to do something men often times don't do
在这个过程中 当你有了一些重大的个人发现时 要好好想想你是谁 你要去哪里 And that is think deeply about who you are and where you're going while making some significant personal discoveries in the process
深思熟虑 to think deeply
关于你是谁 你要去哪里 在这个过程中 about who you are and where you're going. And in that process,
做些个人发现 现在我要警告你 make some personal discoveries. Now I wanna give you a warning.
很难做到 It's hard to do that.
我们在这里会很简单 因为我很简单 We're gonna be real simple here, because I'm simple,
但很难深入思考你是谁 but it's hard to think deeply about who you are
我们大多数人宁愿做年轻人做的事 Most of us would rather do what young men do
年轻人不能这样生活 And Here's the way young men can't go into life
你知道他们大学毕业后 还是高中毕业后 You Know After they finished college, or they finished high school.
这是我们进入的模式 Here's Here's Here's the mode that we go into.
是 啊 Yeah,
我们就这样一直走 直到撞到墙 and we keep going just like that until we hit a wall.
我想说的是 我们想为你们这些年轻人做的是让你们走 And All I'm saying is is that what we wanna do for you guys who are young starting out and you guys old who are trying to rethink is we want to get you to go
抬头看看 and look up
看看周围 and look around
问一些 and ask some
关于你是谁 你是什么 你应该去哪里 然后去做的深层哲学问题 deep philosophical questions about who you are and what you are and where you really should be going in life and then to do it
所以我们要给你这个机会 So we're gonna give you that opportunity
以弗所书五章是这样写的 Ephesians five puts it this way
因此 小心你的走路和生活方式 Therefore, be careful how you walk or how you live your life
不像不明智的人那样 not as unwise men
但同样明智的是 but as wise
制作 这是最重要的一句话充分利用你的时间 making. And this is the key phrase making the most of your time,
因为你只有很短的时间 because you've only got a short period of time.
在你知道之前就结束了 It'll be over before you know it,
因为它说日子是邪恶的 because it says the days are evil
邪恶的日子是什么意思 And what does it mean by the days of evil
它是邪恶的 因为它会夺走我们刚才提到的丰富的生命 It's evil because it will steal away that abundant life that we just mentioned a minute ago
这些日子注定要夺走你的生命 These days are meant to take life from you
把你带到死胡同 从这个意义上说他们是邪恶的 to bring you to those dead ends. They're evil in that sense.
但男子气概比半生还重要 But manhood is more than a half life
男子气概是一种充实的生活 Manhood is a full life
但它在哪 but where is it
这就是我们要调查的 That's what we want to to probe.
其次 你将有机会与其他能帮助你思考的人交流 Secondly, you will have opportunities to interact with other men who can help you think
更清晰客观地描述你的生活 more clearly and objectively about your life
俗话说那是件好事 The proverb say that's a good thing
谚语 Proverbs
2077只是说铁磨铁 人磨人 2077 just says as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
这就是我们需要的 我们需要和其他经历过同样经历的人交流 向他们学习 倾听他们的心声 That's what we need we need to rub up with other guys who are going through the same experience we are and learn from them and listen to them
让他们听到我们的声音 向我们反映 and let them hear us and reflect back to us
他们从我们那里听到的帮助我们开始 what they're hearing from us to help us begin to
把梦想带回来 to bring that dream back out
那次冒险重回正轨 学会如何夺回它 让它焕然一新 That adventure back out and learn how we can recapture it for life are embellish it
在某些情况下你们有些人觉得自己在冒险 In some cases some of you guys feel like you're on adventure
你只需要再润色一下就行了 you just need to embellish it a little more polish it
所以我们有小团体 That's why we have small groups
比尔一上来就把我们分开了 And when bill comes up here in just a moment breaks us up
你们中有些人不会在一个小团体里 Some of you guys aren't going to be in a small group
你得下来跟他谈谈如何加入一个小团体 You're gonna need to come down and talk to him about how to get into a small group
我们其他人将分成小组 回答你们大纲最下面的问题 The rest of us will break into small groups and answer the questions that are there at the very bottom of your outline
但我想告诉你 我们已经听到了 But I want to tell you this and we've heard it
我们每年都要付账 And we bill every year
小团体体验 the small group experience
我会努力做好每一周的工作 i'll try to do a good job every week
但小团体的经历将是整个早上最有价值的时刻 But the small group experience will be the most valuable moment of the whole morning
你不会想错过的 and you don't want to miss that.
第三 你将学习如何用生活焦点图表来关注你的生活 Thirdly, you will learn how to focus your life using a life focus chart
这是我给你的一个小工具 It's a little tool that I'm gonna give you
今年晚些时候 later on in the year
这对你有帮助 That will help you
是你放在钱包里的东西 It's something you keep in your wallet
但会帮助你重新思考你的生活 but will help you rethink your life all the time
它会给你一些东西 It'll give something before you'll be
这是我能给你的最简单的东西 It's the simplest thing I can give you
这是唯一的事 It's the only thing
顺便说一句 by the way
我要你一整年都这么做 I'm gonna ask you to do all year
是 啊 Yeah,
但我要告诉你 这对你来说是个真正的挑战 but I'm gonna tell you it's gonna be it's gonna be a real Challenge for you to do it
如果你有这个的话 And if you have that
如果你能开始做这个的话 if you can begin to craft that
你可以开始真正的冒险 你可以随时回顾它 you can begin to put real flesh on your adventure and you can review it anytime
也很简单 Just a very simple little too
但我会给你这个 让你去做 和小组一起做 But I'm gonna give you that and have you work on it and work with the group on it
所以当你早上起床的时候 So you have something that when you get up in the morning
你可以看看然后走 伙计 you could look at that and go, man
这就是我要做的 that's what I'm gonna do.
这就是我要去的地方 我对此很兴奋 That's where I'm going. And I'm excited about it.
第四 你要制定一份个人使命宣言 Fourthly, you'll develop a personal mission statement
我认为这有助于你明确自己的人生目标 that I think helps you define the purpose of your life
这本身就是个很大的挑战 And that's quite a Challenge in and of itself
你知道的 You Know
你可能听过很多次这样的话 there have been times where you may have heard this
但你会走过一个墓地 看着这些墓碑 你会看到人们的名字在那些小坟头上 上面会写着某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某某会生下他 but you'll walk through a graveyard and you look at these grave stones and you'll see people's names there on those little grave heads where it'll say such and such and will give his birth
他们会杀了他的 他的一生是什么 and they'll give his death. And there his whole life is what?
只是一点点而已 Just a dash
那里什么都没有 and there's nothing there.
你要走了那是什么 And you're going what was there?
我一直在想因为我一直在想我的生活 And i've thought about that you know because I i've been thinking about my life
甚至准备这个 even preparing this
我以为 你知道的 I thought, you know
当有人路过墓碑时 when somebody walks by by a grave plate
他们往下看 they look down
我想让他们看到什么 what do I want them to see
所以我写了出来 So I wrote it out
我想看的是 Here's what I wanted to look at
罗伯特·刘易斯 1949年至2000年 Robert lewis, 1949 to thousand
不管是什么 whatever it's gonna be
但在那次冲刺中 任务完成了 But in over that dash mission accomplished
那个 that.
我想说 那任务完成了什么 And I want to say, well what is that mission accomplished?
我 I
我想让他们知道 I want them to know
作为一个男人 that as a man
在上帝面前 before god,
我相信我能找到我的生活 I believe that I could figure out my life
我要去哪 and where I'm going
我可以用一种冒险的方式来生活 And I could live it in such a way that it would be an adventure
我会做我相信造物主叫我做的事以及他设计我做的事 And I would do what I believe my creator call me to do as well as how he designed me to be
从头到尾都很刺激 And it was exciting from start to finish
让我想想 And let me take it has been
我可以充满激情地说出来 I can offer that with passion.
但最后 But at the end
我想回顾过去说 I want to be able to look back and say
我已经完成了我在这里的使命 i've accomplished what I was here for
这不仅仅是个负面的信号 It's not just a negative sign,
任务完成了 it's mission accomplished.
我要满意地离开这一生 And I'm leaving this life with satisfaction
我要开始下一个生活了 And I'm moving onto the next life
充满自信 with confidence.
接下来 你会更好地理解你独特的设计 Next, you'll gain a better understanding of your unique design
是什么让你活过来的 And what makes you come alive
一月份 比尔·威隆是 in January. Bill wellons is
帮我们找到你的设计 gonna help us walk through a little tool on discovering your design.
我们会帮你的 And we're gonna help you
经历一个过程 go through a process
你会发现他会给你什么 where you discover through what he's going to offer you
什么让你对生活感到兴奋 what excites you about life
你终于可以把它拿出来了 You'll be able to finally bring it out
目标五 An objective five
然后你就走了 And you go
当我在这些地方做这些事的时候 when I'm in these places doing these kind of things
这是我 this is me.
所以我们会帮你搞定的 So we're going to help you get to that
帮助你更好地规划如何在这个世界上找到你能去的地方 and help use that to help you formulate even better how to find places in this world where you can go
在世界上的那些地方 be that in those places in the world
不管那意味着什么 whatever that means
让我告诉你那会很刺激 不是吗 Let me tell you that would be exciting, wouldn't it?
想知道什么能让你真正兴奋 让你在那些地方用这个目标战斗 To know what really excites you to have that objective fighting to use that in those places
最后 你会有很多机会 And then finally, you'll have the opportunity in many ways
选择你的未来 to choose your future.
生活是一种选择 Life is a choice guys.
你知道吗 Did you know that?
汤姆·帕特森写道 Tom patterson writes
最大的悲剧是一个人被环境所控制 The greatest tragedy of all is for a man to be managed by circumstances
过着半死不活的生活 and live a half dead life.
是 啊 Yeah,
我不想被环境控制 I don't want to be managed by circumstances
我想由我的选择来管理 I want to be managed by my choices
你知道 甚至圣经也呼吁我们 生命是一种选择 You Know Even the scriptures appeal to us that life is a choice
当上帝对全国人民说话的时候 When god spoke to the nation
以色列 他说 Israel, he said
你看 我已经把生死摆在你面前了 you see i've set before you life and death
福与祸 the blessing and the curse
然后他说 And then he says
所以选择生活吧 so choose life
让你活下去 that you may live
生活是一种选择 life is a choice.
你可以在某种程度上选择你的未来 You can choose your future to some degree
你不能完全做到 You can't do it fully
但在某种程度上 but to some degree
在很大程度上 in in some many large degrees
你可以选择你将要过的生活和你将要经历的冒险 you can choose the type of life you're gonna have and the adventure you're gonna have
还有那里的兴奋 and the excitement that's gonna be there
但你必须经历一个过程 But there's a process that you have to go through
去发现它 to discover that.
所以我希望你们能够选择生活并且知道你们选择生活并为此感到兴奋 And So I want you men to be able to choose life and know that you're choosing life and excited about that
对你们中的一些年轻人来说 And For some of you young men
比如 我想让你在人生的前半段有个跳跃式的开始 for instance, I want you to have a jump start on an exciting first half of life
如果你在20到40岁之间 And If you're between the ages of 20 and 40
我要叫你年轻人 I'm going to call you a young man
好吧 All right,
然后跳下去 and give you that jump
开始 start
好的 来吧 Yeah There you go
你可以为自己鼓掌 You can clap for yourselves
抱歉 各位 You sorry, group
休斯敦大学 Uh
是 啊 yeah
哦 oh,
因为年轻人 because young guys
是勇士吗 are Warriors
他们很忙 很多时候他们都有金发的野心 and they're busy. And a lot of times they have blond ambition.
如果他们不小心 久而久之他们就会成为黑暗战士 And if they're not careful, they become over time the dark warrior
他伤得很重 who does a lot of hurt
对自己和他人 所以很高兴能弄清楚 to themselves and to others. And so it's really good to figure out
我该怎么办 不仅是为了给我带来生命 what do I need to do. Not only to bring my life
带着我被赋予的职责进入轨道 into orbit with these responsibilities i've been given
也不仅仅是为了谋生 but also to do more than just make a living
我真的想叫你们年轻人不仅仅是为了谋生谋生 And that's what I really wanna call you young guys to more than just making a living making a life
别做其他男人做的事就是谋生 然后想办法弄清楚他们四五十岁左右的生活 and don't do what so many other men do is make a living and then try to figure out life in their mid forties and fifties
是 啊 Yeah,
你可以开始了 you can start doing that
现在 Now
我们想帮你做到这一点 We want to help you do that
对我们这些老年人来说 And then for us older men
40岁以上 40 and up
我想帮你改装一下 I want to help you retool
是 啊 Yeah,
为了下半场的精彩冒险 for an exciting second half adventure,
因为你们已经建立了关系 because you guys are established
你至少掌握了或者活了半辈子 and you've at least mastered or survived the first half of life
我是说你家里有车 有狗和孩子 I mean you've got the car in the house and the dog and the kids
还有责任 饮食和其他很多事情 and responsibilities and eat and a lot of other things.
我不想让你被压在下面 And what I don't want you to do is be crushed under that
但我想让你重新调整一下 这样你就可以 But I want you to retool so you can have
令人兴奋的生活 因为外面有一场冒险 an exciting life, because out there is an adventure
那会让人兴奋的 that can thrill
你可以鼓励 you can encourage
你可以激励自己 you can motivate you
因为我希望你像亚伯拉罕一样 because I want you to be like abraham
你知道它是怎么说亚伯拉罕和 you know what it says of abraham and
创世记25章 genesis 25
这是这位老人在他生命的尽头写的这句台词 Here's this old old man makes this one line at the end of his life
上面说亚伯拉罕死了 It says, and abraham died
然后它添加了一个语句 and then it adds a statement
对生活满意 satisfied with life.
你想成为亚伯拉罕吗 Would you like to be abraham at that moment
他年轻时在她的大生意场上经历了多大的冒险啊 What an adventure he had as a young guy in her big businessman
成功的 successful
然后上帝召唤他去做他的设计 And then god calls him to his design
他说 亚伯拉罕 He says, abraham
别管这些了 leave all this
去一个我稍后会告诉你的地方当你在旅途中 and go to a land that i'll tell you about later when you're on the journey,
这需要勇气 and it took courage,
但这是亚伯拉罕的始作俑者 but it started abraham
一次不仅仅是谋生的冒险 on an adventure that was more than just making a living.
这让他开始了一场创造生活的冒险 It started him on an adventure that made a life.
它崎岖而富有挑战性 And it was rugged and it was challenging
有时他失败了 And there were times he failed
但在他生命的尽头 But at the end of his life
他可以回头说 he could look back over and say
我很满意 I'm satisfied.
我为这里的每个人都报道过了 I covered that for every guy here
你会很激动的 that you would be thrilled
用你的生命 with your life
选择你的未来是我们要探索探索和努力的方向 Choosing your future is what we want to explore and probe and grapple with
年内 in the year
就在我们前面 That's ahead of us
我们想让你去冒险 We want you to have an adventure
让我来结束吧 Let me close with
约翰·埃尔德里奇在书中的陈述 a statement from um John eldridge in the book
内心狂野 wild at heart
我们放弃了 that we gave away
他是这么说的 He says this
冒险 所有必要的危险和狂野 adventure, with all its requisite danger and wildness
是一种深深的精神渴望 is a deeply spiritual longing
写在人的灵魂里 written into the soul of man
阳刚的心需要一个什么都不需要预先准备的地方 The masculine heart needs a place where nothing is prefabricated
模块化 脱脂 拉链锁 特许在线或微波炉 modular, nonfat, zip lock, franchised online or microwavable,
没有截止日期 没有手机 也没有委员会会议 where there are no deadlines, cell phones, or committee meetings,
就在有灵魂的地方 just simply where there is room for the soul,
最终我们周围的地理位置与我们的心脏地理位置相对应 where finally the geography around us corresponds to the geography of our heart
在男人的内心深处 Deep in a man's harder
一些在餐桌上根本无法回答的基本问题 Some fundamental questions that simply cannot be answered at the kitchen table
我是谁 Who am I
我是什么做的 what am I made of?
我注定要做什么 What am I destined for?
正是恐惧让一个人呆在家里一切井然有序 由他掌控 It is fear that keeps a man at home where things are neat and orderly and under his control
但他最深奥问题的答案在电视上是找不到的 But the answers to his deepest questions are not to be found on television,
是打球还是在冰箱里 are to ball game or in the refrigerator.
这些答案需要勇敢的冒险 These answers require a courageous adventure
他的追求也不逊色 whose quest is nothing less
比最好的生活 than the best of life.
这就是男人的第三次亲子鉴定 This is what men's paternity three, it's gonna be all about.