You're with k.N.O.X...
Overnight, Texas south had 1/2 inch of rain.
Today, an 80% chance of rain in greater Houston.
The downtown temperature is 70 degrees.
The air is good today...
Pollen level at 2oo, and lead level, a low 12o.
Sulfur is reported negligible.
Traffic-wise, things are gumming up.
Downtown is still moving,
but at exit 49, there's heavy inbound stuff.
On southbound 9, we have a highway patrol advisory
on a car and truck wreck.
Hurricane Eleanor has decided to move off east...
Maybe to avoid all that traffic...
And the high wind advisory of last night has been lifted.
Also lifted is the dow Jones...
Up 5 at 8oo on last night's New York close.
More news and numbers from me, Bob merry, at 11:Oo
here on k.N.O.X., the sound of Texas south,
brought to you today by commercial wall coverings.
Now back to work, and keep moving, Texas!
Nature guards her treasures jealously.
Just a decade ago, these fields were beyond our reach.
We didn't have the technology.
Today, a Knox engineer will tell you
that he might need a little time,
but he'll get the oil.
He knows a little time is all that we have left.
[Snoring]
Mr. happer.
Mr. happer, sir.
[Snoring]
[Whispering] Today's main business
is the progress of our acquisition of part of Scotland
for the refinery and storage base.
I've got a few things to show you.
We have a two-year lead in north Atlantic development.
We can double this by streamlining
the processing end of things onshore.
The pipeline is well on its way from all three production areas.
We have a site for the terminal here.
What about the site acquisition?
The survey teams found the only suitable bay on the coast.
Total investment is 6oo million,
spread over three fiscals.
We've got to buy ferness bay for $6o million.
We're dealing with stable allies of the U.S.,
not to mention the links historically
between Knox oil and Scotland.
We're not in a third world situation here.
I think we should get a negotiator on the site.
Do I really have to go there?
I could fix the deals over the phone,
like with salinas last year?
It's not like Mexico, macintyre.
You're a scot.
You'll be dealing with your own people.
You won't be dealing with a bunch of Indians.
Cal, will you look after Africa while I'm gone?
Just the west coast deals. Sarah's got the files.
We've got the Congo development minister's tit in the wringer.
I think we can close this deal.
What about the tanker franchise?
I want franchises in all three territories.
Put a five-day deadline on the offer.
You got it.
You want to eat?
Cal, I've got a confession to make.
I'm not Scottish.
Man, oh, man!
Think I should tell fountain?
Hell, no.
Don't spoil the fun. Take the trip.
My folks changed their name
when they got off the boat from Hungary.
They thought macintyre was American.
Jesus, Mac.
You're not a scotchman, you're not a texan.
I can't even pronounce my last name.
Comets are important.
They could be the key to the universe.
What will you call this comet, happer?
The happer comet or happer's comet...
Or comet happer.
I thought it might be!
The whole world will weep with gratitude
when the big day comes.
Mr. happer's got his comet. Hooray!
What an empty, hollow, wasteful activity.
You're chasing comets around the sky.
Is your life so complete?
What about a wife? Children? A family?
Are these human goals too simple for you?
Get out, Moritz! That's enough for today.
I've got some meetings.
Out! Out! Out!
Yes, sir.
Uh, it went pretty well today,
didn't it, sir?
It was ok, Moritz.
I think we could build up the sessions...
At the same fee, of course.
We're at a crucial stage.
Fix a half-hour for Friday.
Maybe I could give you
an abusive phone call some night.
Anytime that's inconvenient.
The surprise element might do some good.
I mean, harm.
Out!
Moritz!
Did you mean that about me being a flop?
Oh, god, no, Mr. happer!
It's basic therapy technique.
Sometimes I get carried away.
You think if I'd married, things would be different.
Oh, by no means, Mr. happer.
The modern world offers many alternatives
to the security of the family unit.
Look at me, Mr. happer.
I'm a single man.
Get out.
Mrs. Wyatt,
who are we sending to Scotland
on that refinery deal?
Mr. crabbe selected Mr. macintyre of acquisitions.
His Scottish connections seem to fit the bill,
and he handled Mexico well last year.
Tell him I want to see him before he leaves.
Cal, I've just been called upstairs.
I'm going to meet the man.
This could be it. Big doings!
And I get to ride the express elevator, too.
I have the prime minister for you, Mr. happer. Hold on.
Mr. happer, ma'am.
Yes, I did! I tried it with the raspberries.
It was delicious,
although I only had frozen.
Yes, ma'am.
Here's Mr. happer now. Good-bye.
I'm sorry, your excellency,
but Mr. happer can't talk right now.
His serene highness can call back in half an hour.
Macintyre, sir. Pleased to meet you.
You're going to Scotland, macintyre?
Yes, sir.
Be like going home,
like we're going home, eh?
The founder of all this was a scot...
Alexander Knox.
That's not him. That's my father.
He bought out Knox in 1912.
Would've been handy
if he'd thought to change
the company name.
Anyway, you're going to Scotland.
The old country,
hey, macintyre?
Yes, sir!
Virgo is well up this time of year.
Sir?
I'm talking about the sky, macintyre.
The constellation of Virgo
is very prominent in the sky in Scotland now.
Keep an eye on Virgo for me.
Will you do that?
Oh, sure.
This is Virgo.
Find the great bear, the big Dipper,
and you can't miss.
I'm expecting something special from there.
I want reports.
Reports, sir?
Anything unusual in Virgo.
It might be a new star
or even a shooting star.
I want reports.
Anything out of the ordinary,
you telephone me, night or day.
This is my private number.
You'll be traveling 6 hours east...
You'll be ahead.
Think of that.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
I have a general...
You'll know when you see it,
and you'll telephone me, ok?
You do know what a comet is, don't you?
I feel sure I'd know one if I saw one.
You'd phone me?
Yes, sir.
Good man.
You got the picture.
The northern sky is a beautiful thing, macintosh.
You're going to have a wonderful trip.
Thank you, sir.
[Telephone ringing]
Yes?
Hi, Rita.
Who is this?
Mac!
Yes?
I'm leaving the country for a while.
I was wondering if you'd
like to celebrate tonight with a drink?
Uh... No.
No, it's not. It's Mac.
She knows.
No. Mac. M-a-c.
Hello there!
How are you?
Oh, good. Yeah, I'm terrific, too.
No, I won't keep you.
I'm leaving town for a while, and you still have stuff here.
Some mail... three letters. They've been here a while.
Your cigarette lighter... The English one?
I thought you might miss that.
It's not important if you can live without it.
There is something else. Remember my camera case?
The one you kept your makeup in?
I want it back.
No, that's not why I called.
No, that's not true!
Trudi, I don't want to argue with you.
Look, I'm not calling you a thief.
Well, maybe you are a kleptomaniac.
You think you ought to see a doctor?
You're the pervert!
Just piss up a rope, all right?
Our speed over the ocean is 74o miles per hour.
If you'd like to adjust your watches,
the time in britain is 11:47 exactly.
Our estimated arrival is at 1:45 local time.
Shortly before our descent,
I'll give you more information on the weather in britain.
British caledonian.
Will passengers recently arrived from London
and connecting with services to thistle and ninian fields
please proceed now to the helicopter check-in desk
at gate four.
I'm macintyre, Knox oil and gas, Houston.
Are you...
Oldsen,
Knox oil and gas, aberdeen.
I didn't want to make a fuss.
This is delicate business.
You'll take me to the laboratory?
Yes.
Let's go.
Can I give you a wee hand?
Could you close that door?
This is a controlled environment, you know.
Um, Dr. geddes, Mr. watt,
this is...
Macintyre. Houston.
Welcome to our little world.
You've come to see the bay, eh?
Marina, this is Mr. macintyre
and mister, eh...
Danny oldsen. Hello.
The sensor on 41's gone haywire.
I better replace it.
She's got magnificent lungs.
Oh, yes.
A great asset.
Five degrees in oceanography
and a talented programmer.
I'll get rid of her.
She's not in on this ferness thing.
Actually, she's better in the field.
Here's the dud.
Um, you can take lunch now, Marina.
Sure.
I'll show you the site models,
shall I?
You'll see what you're in the market for.
This is a bay in a million.
The silt's deep enough
to take the foundation piles.
This harbor here is a natural
for blasting in the underground tanks.
Here. Hold ferness a minute, would you?
The debris rock will be used
to fill in the other beach
for the refinery.
With 12 more miles of coastline,
this could become the petrochemical capital
of the free world.
Six months blasting, two years construction.
It'll last 1,ooo years, forever.
It'll even survive the next ice age.
We've proved that, you know.
We've simulated 10,ooo years
of intense glaciation over the whole bay.
Of course, we don't need that ice age.
We can divert the Gulf stream
and unfreeze the arctic circle.
He proved it, but they won't listen.
They want a freeze.
Thank you, Norman, but there was no need
to bring that up.
Will, um, Marina be back?
No, not for a while yet.
We should head north soon.
We'll see you when we get back, maybe.
No. Take it.
Keep it.
Dream large.
Dream large!
What are you thinking about?
Girls.
Naked girls.
Me, too.
In a fish tank.
Yeah.
[Screeching brakes]
What's up?
I think we hit something.
It got misty all of a sudden, and I think we hit something.
Shit! I hate hitting things!
It's just kind of stunned.
Maybe a broken leg.
Should we put it out of its misery?
Hit it with something hard?
You did that with an automobile.
Put it in the car.
Well, we can't drive in this stuff.
Where are we?
The last couple of road signs were in Gaelic.
It's not one of my languages.
You speak languages?
French, Italian, Spanish, Greek,
turkish, Russian, Swedish,
German, Japanese, Dutch, and Polish.
I have a facility with languages.
I've got some chocolate
and some gum.
What have you got?
Nothing.
Niente.
Nada, rien...
Ok, ok.
This is my car.
Porsche 93o.
Turbo-charged.
A car's important.
I used to get migraine headaches
when I drove a Chevy.
A car like this won't let you down.
[Watch alarm]
Conference time in Houston.
I'll give them a call tomorrow.
Good night.
Yeah.
Do you think we could have the lights off?
Sure, sure.
[Watch alarm]
Morning.
Hello.
[Coughing]
Some place, huh?
Yeah.
I think I'll call him Harry.
No. Her name's Trudi.
I'm hungry.
I'll drive.
Whole lot of scenery, though.
[Beep]
What is it?
Sorry to trouble you so early.
We'd like to check in and eat something.
Breakfast isn't till 8:Oo.
7:Oo in the fishing season.
It's not the fishing season.
Could we check in anyway?
We've been on the road all night.
We have an injured rabbit also.
It's never locked.
Passing through?
We might stay a few days.
Make yourself some toast and coffee.
We'll take care of formalities later.
I have to go back upstairs.
There's lettuce for the rabbit.
Nice people, huh?
Yeah, and they speak English.
Do you think they're at it up there?
No.
[American accent] "We have an injured rabbit, also."
Think it's them?
Sure. 100% sure.
Christmas might be early this year.
What do you want for Christmas?
Better get that new mattress.
Hang on!
Yeah?
Would you have an adapter?
I have to charge my briefcase.
What?
The lock is electric.
Would you have an adapter?
Do you need it now?
Whenever.
Leave it with me.
I'll sort something out.
I'll hold on to it.
Ok, fine.
[Laughter]
[Music playing]
Everything ok, gents?
Very nice.
We only do hot lunch every other day.
We have to talk to Mr. "urk-u-hart,"
an accountant.
He has an office right next door.
He'll be there in about 15 minutes.
Thank you.
Delicious.
[Motorcycle]
Come in!
Hello again.
I'm Gordon urquhart.
We tend to double up on jobs around here.
I'm a taxi driver sometimes, too. Sit down.
What can I do for you?
I represent Knox oil and gas, Mr. "og-hart."
Gordon.
[Hammering] I believe my people
[hammering] Let you know we'd be calling.
[Hammering] That's right.
We're in the way
of acquiring some real estate.
We wanted your help
in coordinating our work.
What do you want to buy?
[Hammering louder] I don't want to be coy with you, Gordon.
We want the whole place.
We want to buy everything from the cliffs
to the bay...
And about a mile inland.
That's all.
Well, you're talking about 15, maybe... 20 properties.
You're talking about families,
businesses, farms.
You're talking about a lot of money.
We don't have to go into figures right now.
I have a breakdown on the properties.
I think it's a matter
of bringing the community together
and making a collective deal.
Get to know the place. Take a day or so.
I'll take things as far as I can,
and I'll let you know.
How about that?
If you think it'll take that long.
The church, too?
Yes.
The church has definite views about property.
Take in the beach and relax.
You'll work out some numbers?
I'll do my best.
Cheerio.
[Hammering]
Take it away, Andrew.
Oh, boy, are we going to be rich!
* we're going to sell this hotel *
* oh oh oh oh
* oh, I know you
* ooh ooh ooh ooh
* oh, Mr. macintyre, I know you, too *
Stella!
[Music playing]
Thank you.
[Squirt]
Oh.
Sorry.
That's all right.
[Squirt] Oh.
What do you make of urquhart, then?
He smells the money.
Nice beach this, isn't it?
Yeah.
We should come here
when we have to discuss business.
The hotel is too public.
Right.
That's where the jetty will be,
and the storage tanks over here,
all the way up.
Looks just like the model, doesn't it?
Well, more expensive.
Oh, it's some business.
It's the only business.
Could you imagine a world without oil?
No automobiles.
No heat.
And Polish.
No ink.
And nylon.
No detergents.
And perspex.
You wouldn't get any perspex.
No polythene.
Dry cleaning fluid.
Uh-huh. And waterproof coats.
They make dry cleaning fluid out of oil?
Yeah. You don't know that?
No, I didn't know that.
You know anything about the stars?
Not much. Why?
I want to check something out.
I'll get a book or something.
[Watch alarm]
It's business time in Houston.
I want to make some calls.
Can I help you, gentlemen?
I'd like to use the telephone.
Is there one in the hotel?
There's a phone box across the road.
You'll need some change.
You can talk to anywhere in the world.
Could you change this?
Tens, the lot.
We won't manage that.
You got any tens, lads?
This gentleman would like to make
a very important long-distance phone call...
Intercontinental.
Give me your tens.
Sandy! Any 10 pences?
Hey, hey, hey!
Aye, Ricky's on the road tonight.
You got to look both ways.
There you are, Mr. Mac.
Full working order.
Thanks. I'm fine now.
You don't have to do that.
You've got the code?
I got the code.
Put the tens in when you hear the pips.
Over here. I'm fine.
I'll see you later.
No. Later on.
Oh, right.
Bye-bye. Thanks again.
Bye! You've been a big help!
Thank you for calling Knox oil and gas.
[Beeping]
Thank you for calling Knox oil and gas.
Ok! Ok! Get me Calvin wrain
in acquisitions and negotiations,
and hurry!
I'm calling long-distance.
Hold, please.
[Beep]
This is wrain.
Cal!
Mac, how are you!
Listen. Take this number...
Ferness, 261.
You'll have to look up the code.
I'll give you other numbers later.
[Beeping]
How are things, boy?
Fine, Mac.
You only been gone a couple of days.
I feel I've been here forever.
Well, how's the deal going?
May take some time.
They've got a nice beach here.
[Beeping]
[Dial tone]
Moritz, Moritz, you're destroying me.
Ha ha ha ha!
Yes. Now we're getting somewhere.
I think we can move on.
What do you mean?
The next stage.
We should physicalize things a little.
I could hit you.
Wouldn't that humiliate you?
I could tie you up.
You're talking perversion, not therapy.
Get out, and don't come back.
Good! You're upset already.
Think what it'll be like when I punch you.
Get out before I punch you!
This is most gratifying, Mr. happer.
It vindicates my entire theory.
I've got your ego on the run,
you piece of shit!
Sorry. That just slipped out.
We can't give up now.
You're a star patient.
I might raise my fee when we get physical,
but it won't be unreasonable.
Mrs. Wyatt,
cancel all future appointments with Moritz
and get me Hawaii.
I want Fisher at the observatory.
[Stella and Gordon laughing]
Hello, Danny.
Good morning, Mr. macintyre.
We'll give "yur-go-hart" 24 hours.
Yeah...
Look at the birds.
They don't look like sea gulls.
No. They're too small for sea gulls,
and they're not white.
They'll get wet.
Maybe they're waterproof.
Huh! You get waterproof birds?
Oh, yeah. Sure you do.
[Explosion]
Let's check out the church,
talk to the preacher.
I want to do something.
Do you think Gordon and Stella do it every night?
Of course not.
Please, everyone.
Will you calm down?
Nobody's mentioned money yet.
Don't get excited!
Quiet, please! Everyone!
Thanks, murdo.
All I need just now
is your ok to negotiate.
I've got the Knox man on the hook.
Just give me the time to land him in style.
He's got a bag full of money.
So stay calm and let me handle him.
I need your Patience and your faith.
Trust me.
Would they be wanting to buy a boat, too?
Gideon, if things go well,
they'll have to buy their own shirts back off us.
Stay calm.
Trust me.
I'd like to say a short prayer now.
Fine, murdo.
Quiet, please, everyone.
Murdo wants to say a short prayer.
Lord...
It's the yank and the other one!
They're coming here!
I saw them.
Quiet, please, everyone.
Can you deal with them?
Just head them off.
Not a sound, please! Oh, god.
This is where the canteen will be.
What's that?
It's where you have lunch and dinner.
Oh, a commissary.
Yeah. That kind of thing.
Good morning! Can I help you?
Reverend MacPherson.
My name's macintyre. This is oldsen.
Macintyre, eh?
You're not Scottish, are you?
I'm an American, actually.
I'm not a scotsman either.
I'm an African.
I came here as a student minister
and didn't ever get away again.
What can I do for you?
We're here on a mission.
Same here.
We want to acquire real estate.
We'd like to establish relationships
with those who have land hereabouts.
You want to buy my church?
Well, not as a going concern.
They practice here.
As long as they're bombing the beach,
they can't be bombing anywhere else.
It's kind of comforting.
Ahh... So far as
your business here is concerned,
all I can recommend
is that you talk to our Mr. urquhart.
He looks after the church's interests,
in temporal matters, at least.
I understand.
Sounds like good advice, reverend.
I know I don't have to ask you, sir,
but could you treat our conversation
with confidence?
I will be as discreet as the next man.
Thank you.
But news tends to travel fast around here.
I understand, sir.
The reverend says news travels fast around here.
Hmm! Hmm!
Don't know why I'm here.
I'm more of a telex man.
Could sew this whole deal up
in one afternoon over the wires.
That's the kind of person I am.
I need electricity.
[Jet]
Don't know about those jets.
They really spoil a very nice area.
Oh, it's a crime.
Yeah.
[Music playing]
May I have another roll?
Certainly.
Who is that old man on the beach?
That would be Ben.
He lives in that shack all year?
Oh, yes.
Doesn't he get cold?
He's used to it.
How's the casserole de lapin?
Terrific.
Lapin...
That's rabbit.
Is this my rabbit?
Yes.
Harry.
Trudi.
We don't allow animals in the bedrooms.
It had a name!
You don't eat things with names.
It was injured. It was in pain.
You were a bit hasty.
Mac was looking after it.
All it needed was lots of rest
and proper treatment.
There was every chance of a full recovery.
They didn't like the rabbit.
Mac loved the rabbit!
It had a name! Two names!
Is it worthwhile calling the vet, Stella?
Don't be a clown, Gordon.
It had a broken leg.
Check the bones in the dish.
I'm sorry, Mac, but we eat rabbits here.
The vet would have done the same.
I didn't know it had a name.
That's ok, Stella.
You don't have to finish it.
How was it, anyway?
It was nice.
Apart from it being Trudi, it was nice.
What lovely long eyelashes you've got.
Was it a wine sauce?
Yeah.
I let it simmer for a couple of hours
in some white wine.
Why did you call it Trudi?
No reason.
Apart from anything else,
a rolls Royce will last far longer.
It's a false economy to invest in cheap goods.
It's not cheap.
The Maserati's over 30,ooo,
and it looks much nicer.
I can just see you getting four or five winter lambs
into the back of a Maserati.
Are you sure there are two ls
in dollar, Gideon?
Yes!
And are there two gs in bugger off?
[Hammering]
Andrew, knock it off for a bit.
Ok, Gordon.
Thanks.
Coffee.
Ta.
Stella?
You busy?
No. Just fixing lunch.
Andrew.
It's ok. You can start again now.
[Hammering]
Don't wave your arm so much.
I got 6.
I got 10 before.
1o's the maximum you can get before it sinks.
It's a scientific law.
But it's the size, as well.
A middle size seems to work the best.
Want to come check out the beach?
No. You go ahead.
I'll hang around here, maybe catch urquhart later.
Hey, I said it! Urquhart!
Gordon urquhart.
Working hard?
Fixing the creels.
Trying to keep lobsters in and crabs out.
What do you do with the lobsters?
They catch a plane every night at inverness.
Next day, they're being eaten in London or Paris.
They see the world.
Don't you eat them?
Oh, no. Too expensive.
You work here and the bar?
Oh, aye. We all muck in together,
do any job that's needing done.
Have you only got one job?
Yeah. Just one.
The telephone box is all right for you?
It's fine.
Gideon's going to give it
a fresh coat of paint.
Any particular color you'd like?
Oh, red's all right.
Red's fine.
The cord could be a little longer, though.
In America, the cords are a bit longer.
Whose baby?
Come down.
Come here. I want to talk to you.
Baby coral.
You're Mr. what's-his-name
from Knox.
Danny. We met in aberdeen.
I remember.
Did you swim all the way?
No. I stay here a lot.
This is my bay.
I'm working on a biological profile
of the whole area.
Didn't geddes tell you?
Not in so many words.
I'm plotting everything from the two headlands
inshore to the high-tide mark.
How's the water? Cold?
No. The north Atlantic drift comes in here.
That's warmish water from the Caribbean.
That's why it's special here.
There's stuff fetching up here
from the Bahamas.
That's a long way.
You swim?
Not that far.
How are things in the village?
Ok.
They're good people.
Let me know if I can help.
Good afternoon.
Hello. I'd like some toothpaste, please.
Something with fluoride or ammonia,
and, uh, some shampoo.
Dry, normal, or greasy?
Normal.
Extra normal.
That's normal.
It'll do your dandruff, as well.
They've been smelling the money
since you two got here.
Do you know why we're here?
Of course.
It's my project, isn't it?
Your project?
The marine laboratory here.
I sent the proposal to Houston months ago.
You're here to check it out, right?
Sure. The marine laboratory.
I know it's only
a public relations number for Knox now.
The future's in here, you know.
Actually, I'm not a very good swimmer.
When can I see you again?
I'm always around.
Have you got enough air left to get home?
Sure.
See you.
Have you got a telephone number?
[Soft music playing]
Ha ha ha ha!
No.
No?
That's all it is.
No.
A little one over here?
No. No.
Could paint that out, put this here.
No.
No, huh?
No.
We don't see the point.
Just ask him to make us an offer.
We can't appear too eager.
We string him along,
and the price goes up.
What if he pulls out?
It's a gamble.
Ask him what he has to offer.
Just a half pint...
And a whisky.
I told you I needed your trust and your Patience.
Let me take the strain.
Relax.
Give me till the ceilidh, 24 hours.
Ok. We'll talk at the ceilidh.
Nice to see you in here, Mr. macintyre.
Mr. urquhart.
I want you to try something.
This is the macaskill...
Pure malt whisky.
42 years old.
Old enough to be out on his own.
Ha ha ha!
Very true.
Hmm.
Slange!
Yeah.
I want to talk to you.
Good.
It's not a matter of buying off people's feelings.
It's more a way of taking feelings into account.
I agree.
You're talking about massive disturbance,
resettlement, lives being restarted.
Sounds like a lot of money.
One way, it strikes me, might be a trust fund
over and above a purchase price,
say, a lump sum,
plus a percentage of the profits
over 10 or 20 years
with some local trustees and some Knox ones.
We have to decide on a basic price first,
and then I can accommodate the frills.
I'll get you a fixed price averaging over the whole area.
We have to be talking about millions.
Maybe.
What kind of millions
do you reckon we're talking about?
We'll have to talk about that.
Say, a target figure of maybe... 20 million.
For the trust?
For the community, yes.
Pounds.
Dollars, maybe.
It's a nice evening, though.
Pretty.
Good evening, Ben.
Aye. Oh, it's a pleasant night, Gordon.
This is macintyre. He's staying with us.
How do you do, Mr. macintyre?
I'd offer you a cup of tea,
but there's only one other cup.
We don't mind sharing.
No sugar, though, please.
Macintyre was asking me
how much I thought the bay was worth, Ben.
Ha ha ha ha!
Oh, that's a good one, right enough, Gordon!
Ha ha ha ha!
Do you know about the stars, Ben?
Well, I know my way around this sky.
What about comets? Any around?
Did you want to buy a comet, as well?
Maybe.
If you want to find a comet,
you just have to look long enough
in the right place.
Where would you look?
I would look in Leo,
but it seems like an awful lot of trouble
just to find a comet.
What about Virgo?
You never mentioned comets before, macintyre.
You're opening up a whole new area of negotiation.
We'll leave you in peace now, Ben.
We're having a ceilidh tomorrow
after Mac and I have tidied up some work.
I'll be there, Gordon.
Jesus, look.
Holy cow!
Jesus!
Calm down, Mac.
It's just a meteor shower.
[Motorcycle approaching]
[Hammering]
Good morning, Andrew.
Good morning, Mr. Mac.
I'll see you later, then.
[Telephone rings]
[Ring ring]
Mr. macintyre!
Telephone. It's a Mr. Houston.
Macintyre. Hello.
This is happer. How are things?
Sir, they're fine.
The deal is about there.
What about the sky?
It's amazing!
There's always a lot happening in it.
Last night there was a meteor shower.
Where was the shower?
In the sky. They came down.
What part of the sky?
I don't know exactly,
but I'm told Leo might be worth a look.
Should I switch from Virgo?
I'll have time later.
No. Do both, macintyre.
Leo and Virgo.
Have you ever seen a meteor shower, sir?
Once or twice.
A sight worth seeing.
I know how you must feel.
Yes, Mr. happer.
I'll keep in touch.
Good-bye, sir.
[Radio] Next week, professor wiley
will be talking to us about his theory
of the existence of another planet...
[telephone rings]
Based on his researches into interplanetary...
[ring]
Until then, from astronomy tomorrow,
we wish you good night.
Yes?
[Moritz] Happer?
Yes.
You're a shit, happer. A useless piece of crap.
Get off the phone, Moritz.
I don't need you anymore. You're not being paid.
It worked again, Mr. happer.
This is doing more good than the formal sessions.
Leave me alone, or I'll call the police.
Asshole, happer!
You love it! Craphound!
I'm still here, happer,
and you're still a useless...
You seem to like this place.
I like the scenery.
Gray seals.
They look nice and friendly.
A salmon fisherman would shoot them on sight.
They steal his fish and ruin his nets.
And they know what they're doing.
They're rascals.
We're keeping an eye on them.
There's only 50,ooo left in the Atlantic now.
Sailors used to think they were mermaids.
Aye, they did. They were wrong.
[Cb radio] General store from vulgar boatman.
Channel 4 for qrk. Come back, general store.
Channel 4 for qrk. Come back and copy.
General store, planning a visit.
Picked up some modulations on your coming ceilidh.
You copy?
Welcome to democracy, boatman.
[Speaking Russian]
Roddy!
Tell Gordon urquhart the Russians are coming!
[Speaking Russian]
Hello! Hello!
[Arguing in Russian]
How are you?
[Speaking Russian]
[Yelling in Russian]
Good to see you, Victor.
Good to see you, Gordon.
Watch the booze, Gordon.
Carry these.
Ok.
Silly bitch.
This is plum Brandy for Stella.
The rest is the usual.
I heard about the ceilidh.
Oh, yeah. We've been invaded by America.
We'll have nowhere to call home,
but we'll be stinking rich.
Are the Americans here?
Just one and a scots kid.
They're on the beach somewhere.
They like to go for long walks.
[Beeping weakly]
Paiyoo.
It's Japanese.
Marina... paiyoo
sakana... Asika...
Azarisi.
Sakana... Asika...
Azarisi.
Asi.
Kisu.
Kisu?
Kisu. Seppum.
You taste salty.
You're on the fresh side.
I've got some insurance policies
for you to look at.
How do you make this add up?
Oh, Mac,
come and meet Victor pinochkin.
Victor, this is Mac.
Macintyre. Knox oil and gas, Houston.
Pinochkin. Soviet fishing fleet, murmansk.
I'm here for the ceilidh.
We have been buying some fish in the minch.
You are doing some business, too, I believe.
Yes. I think I'll go upstairs
and wash out these shells.
What have you got there?
Is that a scallop shell?
A very nice one.
This is a razor fish or a razor clam.
They call them spoots around here.
You can eat them.
Catching them is a problem, though.
They jet through the sand.
Strong little things.
I wouldn't want to eat them.
Why don't you come down for a drink later, Mac?
Yeah, I'll see you later.
We left last year's money on short-term deposit.
It didn't seem worthwhile moving it into stock.
I didn't know when you might need it.
Wouldn't it work harder on the money market?
The amounts don't justify it.
The dollar's all over the place just now.
It would be a full-time job just monitoring it.
You should think again about some property.
I'll be liquid once this Knox thing goes through.
You could come in with me.
You know I am a cash man, Gordon.
I will have to think about it.
Hey, that's a ribbed mussel. Nice.
Yeah. This is a scallop.
A bay scallop, I would say, actually.
Yeah, yeah, and this is a razor shell.
So how's business, then? Do you need any help?
No. Urquhart's got all the powers of attorney.
We should have a draft agreement by tonight.
So we've swung it, then?
It looks like it.
No opposition at all?
They'll do all right.
We're not robbing anybody.
Do they know what's going to happen to the place?
They're going to be rich.
That's all they know.
Think I could borrow your ribbed mussel?
Please. I'd like to show it to someone.
Bring it back.
First thing tomorrow.
Thank you.
Hey!
Yeah?
Do you speak Russian?
Yeah. That's one of mine.
You want my scallop, too?
No, thanks. The mussel will do.
Ok. See you at the ceilidh, then.
Right.
[Music playing]
Please, come on.
No. Thanks very much, but...
You don't want to dance with me?
It's not that...
It will be good.
Just enjoy yourself.
[Tempo changes]
Yeehah!
Yeee!
Wahoo!
Yeeeah!
If we call the useless land...
The beach and cliffs...
1/3 of the price of the working land
and the village,
we get the average price of 2,ooo per acre.
Sounds fine.
I'm asking for a tiny 5% of revenue
over 10 years.
I can't say on the percentage.
But you can have the 10 million
plus some form of participation
to be mutually... Et cetera, et cetera.
[Music plays]
There's Victor's song.
[Cheers]
* guess that I was born to be a rover *
* guess I've always been a rolling stone *
* but someday when my roving days are over *
* I will find a place to call my own *
* 'cause even the lone stars, they get lonesome *
* lonesome as a lost ship on the sea *
* even the lone stars, they get lonesome *
* lonesome for a lone star man like me *
[Scottish accent] Give me a 42-year-old whisky, roddy.
We've none of that tonight.
Give me four 8-year-olds and a 10-year-old.
Yeah! Ha ha!
* even the lone stars, they get lonesome *
* lonesome for a lone star man like me *
* lonesome for a lone star man *
* like me *
yeah!
Four generations of working that farm,
digging and draining and planting.
Years and years, and it comes to this.
Strange times, Archie.
What was it
Gordon urquhart offered you?
1.5 million in cash,
plus 2% of the relocation fund,
and a share in the oil field revenue.
Aye, strange times. Strange times.
[Band plays jig]
No, no.
Come on, Mac. What do you say?
What do I say what?
Let's haggle. Dollars or pounds?
The 2,ooo per, or the 10 million?
Pounds. Let's say pounds.
Come on, Mac. Negotiate.
Call it whatever you want, Gordon,
pounds, yen, rubles. You name it.
Yeeoh!
It was only £40 at Christmas, iain.
You were only charging 2 at the door
at Christmas.
Inflation's going up all the time.
Alan's got a new guitar now.
You're a fiver short, murdo.
Sorry, Gordon.
You'll still give us a hand
with the waltz?
Oh, aye.
[Accordion playing]
Come on, Mac. Get your jacket off.
We're waltzing.
Come on.
Ah, it's James Stewart.
That's Humphrey bogart.
Watch, watch. Who's this?
Well, that would be James Stewart.
No. That's Cary Grant.
That's Jimmy Stewart.
Ah, Humphrey bogart.
No. That was James Stewart.
[Cheers]
What were you dancing with that prat for?
What?
I saw you chasing that guy all over the dance floor.
What's so special about him?
He's different.
Bloody right he's different.
Cheer up. You've made everybody very happy.
You're a success. Cheers.
It's their place, Mac.
They have a right
to make what they can of it.
You can't eat scenery.
Cheers.
Yeah.
You speak a lot of sense for an oilman.
Is everyone celebrating?
Almost everyone.
When do I get the good news?
I want to talk to you about that.
There's a kind of alternative plan
for the place.
Geddes has all the details.
What do you mean?
It's an oil thing,
a terminal or something.
No. I don't see that happening here.
I don't see that at all.
Holy mackerel! What's happened?
It's just the northern lights.
Aurora borealis.
High energy protons spilling over into our atmosphere.
They get through the magnetic shield
where it's weak... At the poles.
It's still beautiful,
I don't care what you call it.
How often does this happen?
Any old time.
It's best when the sun's active.
That gets the solar wind up.
You say the darnedest things, Marina.
I don't feel sick.
I just feel a wee bit dizzy.
I'll put color into your cheeks.
What's happening up there?
That's the northern lights, Mac.
What the heck is that?
It's pretty technical. Nice though, isn't it?
Hey, everybody! I need tens.
I got to have tens.
I have to... I need tens.
Thank you for calling Knox oil and gas.
Thank you for calling.
[Intercom] Mr. macintyre in Scotland, Mr. happer.
Should I transfer him to Mr. fountain?
No. Let me have him.
Happer here, macintyre.
I'm watching the sky, sir.
It's doing some amazing things.
It's got everything...
Reds, Greens, and kind of shimmering.
There's noise, too,
like a far-off thunder, only softer.
I wish you could see it.
Be more specific, macintyre.
You're my eyes and ears there.
Give me details.
Sir, I'll give you the colors first, sir.
It's white and green and red...
I'm sorry. That's the phone box.
Oh, it's blue!
It's like a shower of color!
Tell him it's the Aurora borealis.
It's the Aurora borealis,
but it's beautiful!
You're a lucky man, macintyre.
I haven't seen the Aurora
since '53 in Alaska.
I haven't seen a comet yet, sir.
I don't know if I'd spot one...
Moritz, you idiot!
Ben was saying that meteors are a good sign
of a comet.
That stuff we saw coming from Leo the other night...
You nut! Get out!
With regard to the comet...
Moritz, you idiot! Get off this building!
I'll have you certified!
...things happening in the sky.
As you suggested, I'll watch Virgo as well.
I'll let you know if anything...
God! It just went red all over!
It's red all over!
[Dial tone]
Mrs. Wyatt, I'm leaving the office.
[Intercom] Yes, sir.
And, Mrs. Wyatt,
there's a maniac outside the building.
You'd better call the police department.
Get some marksmen. Shoot him off.
Shoot to kill.
[Siren]
Pardon me.
[Accordion playing]
Oh, Gordon.
Well, Edward,
I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight.
Aye, but, Peter,
I thought all this money
would make me feel different.
What do you mean?
Well, all it's done
is make me feel depressed.
I don't feel any different.
Well, Edward, you'll just need to buck up.
You need to accept the fact you're stinking rich.
Nobody ever said it was going to be easy
to be a millionaire, ed.
I have a proposition for you, Gordon.
I know I may be a bit tipsy,
but I want you
to consider this seriously, ok?
Ok.
I want to swap with you...
Everything.
I want to stay here,
run the hotel,
do little bits of business.
You can go to Houston.
Take the Porsche, the house, the job.
It's a good life there, Gordon.
I pull down 80,ooo a year,
plus I have over 50,ooo in mixed securities.
I want you to have it all.
[Beer pours onto floor]
There's nothing due on the car.
It's pure ownership.
And I won't let down
your good name here, Gordon.
I'll make a good Gordon, Gordon.
What do you say, pal?
What about Stella?
I was coming to that.
I love her... Very, very much.
She's wonderful.
She's the most beautiful woman
I've ever loved,
and I think she knows it.
I want you to leave Stella
here with me, Gordon.
Would you do that?
Would you leave Stella here with me?
Sure, Mac.
You're a good guy, Gordon.
Do you drive a car, Victor?
Yes. I share a Volvo 144 estate
with my brother-in-law.
I drive a Porsche 93o.
What's the insurance like on a Porsche?
Very heavy,
but I get a deal through Knox insurance.
Ah.
You got hi-fi?
Quad and video.
I've got quad outfit, too.
Picked it up in Japan.
Here's my address in Houston, Victor.
If you ever get to the states,
give me a call.
Thank you very much.
Let me give you my address
in murmansk, too, Mac.
I'm not there a lot, but you never know.
Here's my card.
How come you're here?
Fishing. I have been coming here for years.
I like it here,
but it is tough life for the locals.
You should be proud of yourself,
making them millionaires.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Breakfast ready, Gordon?
We've a problem.
The beach. Ben's beach.
What's the problem?
The problem is, it really is Ben's beach.
[Telephone rings]
He owns the shoreline... 4 miles of it...
From the grass down to the low tide mark.
I found it in the parish records.
Can he prove it?
We can't steal the beach from him.
You'll have to buy it from him.
It's not in our budget.
I thought the shore properties
covered the beach.
I didn't make allowances for this.
Work out a price, Gordon... Juggle the figures,
steal something from the trust fund... something.
Does he know he owns it?
I thought we could just relocate him,
but this is different.
Can't you stick in some more money, Mac...
Mr. Mac.
That was a telephone call from America.
There's a Mr. happer coming to see you.
Happer?
H-a-p-p-p-e-r.
They spelt it for me.
Oh, Jesus!
One million Sterling, Gordon,
and not a penny more.
Then you're on your own.
That includes the cliffs and the rocks.
I've got the message.
Where's the door?
There is no door. Just bang on the window.
Jesus. How do you do business
with someone who doesn't have a door?
The ethics are the same.
Ben, could I have a word with you?
Ben, hello.
You know macintyre.
This is Victor pinochkin.
Victor, this is Ben Knox.
[Ben] How do you do?
Your name is Knox?
Yes.
Can we come in, or will you come out?
I'll get the fire started.
This is your beach, isn't it, Ben?
Oh, yes.
It's been in the family for 4oo years.
The lord of the isles
gave it to an ancestor of mine.
He helped him out with a spot of trouble.
Killed his brother for him...
Something like that.
You have a deed or anything?
Papers?
It's in the museum in Edinburgh.
It's a historical document.
Mac.
Sure, sure.
Ben.
What we wanted to ask...
Have you ever thought about moving?
Eh, no.
No.
Macintyre represents some people
who think they have a use for the beach, Ben.
They want to pay you.
Money?
A lot of money... £100,ooo.
The thing is,
I'm still working the place myself.
It's my living.
It supports me.
You'd have money. You wouldn't have to work.
We all have to work.
The beach has to be worked.
Think of the state it would get into.
Eh?
[Music playing]
Gordon, can this music be turned off?
Oh, yeah.
Don't you like this?
No.
You mean you never liked it?
No.
When you first came here, you didn't like this?
No. Oh.
Half a million pounds is a lot of money, Ben,
enough to buy another beach with.
Look, I've got some postcards.
I've got some very fine beaches here.
I want to make you an offer.
How about this?
Any beach that takes your fancy,
anywhere in the world, I'll get for you.
Look at this... Hawaii.
I can get you 5 or 6 miles of Hawaii.
Or, look here, Australia.
Look at that sand.
Oh, yes.
They look like very nice beaches, Mr. macintyre.
But, see, I only need the one.
I have this here.
I don't need another one.
Besides, I'm not sure that there's a living
in any of these beaches.
You've got to go into that kind of thing in detail.
I'll buy you any beach you want,
and I'll give you £75o, ooo
to set yourself up with.
It will give you some security
in the early stages.
What do you say?
You're great at talking with the big numbers...
Look, you're good at numbers.
Part of my job, yes.
Would you give me a pound note
for every grain of sand in my hand?
You can have the beach for that.
I saved you a pound or two.
I don't want to play games.
Let's negotiate in a businesslike way.
Oh, dear, oh, dear.
You could have had a very nice purchase, Mr. macintyre.
I can't hold more than 10,ooo grains of sand
in my hand at a time.
Did you think it would be a bigger number?
You took advantage of me, Ben.
Did I?
How about a hatful of sand?
No, no.
That wouldn't be businesslike.
Ahh.
Danny, get the wine glasses
without the stems.
Sure.
Would anyone like more potatoes?
No, thank you.
Yes, please.
Some roast, if you have them.
Sure thing, Mr. Knox.
And, uh, a couple more sprouts.
Is he going to sell?
He wants some more sprouts.
Here, let's have a look.
Want to buy a house, Andrew?
I'm trying to sell one, Edward.
Good night, Ben.
Gordon, good night.
I've enjoyed myself.
Good.
Mister... Good night.
Can we have a word with you, Ben?
Let's walk him home.
4oo, 5oo people could make a living here
if things were allowed to change.
That wouldn't be the first time.
What do you mean?
Local history, Gordon.
This beach used to be a good living for 3oo people.
They gathered seaweed
and extracted the chemicals.
2oo years ago,
this beach was turning over £15,ooo a year.
The trade routes opened up again to the east,
and so, "farewell, ferness."
The business went,
but the beach is still here.
If you got the place,
it would be, "good-bye, beach, forever,"
wouldn't it?
Have an orange, Gordon.
I found a box on Tuesday in the rocks.
I found a coconut once.
Lord knows where that came from.
What's the most amazing thing
you ever found?
Impossible to say.
There's something amazing every two or three weeks.
I'll let you know the next time.
Good night.
Shit, this is south African.
Maybe we ought to stick around.
No, he'll be all right.
Uh-oh.
They've taken the church road.
Maybe they just want to talk to him.
Think that's all?
Oh, sure.
There's an awful lot of them.
Yeah.
I'm traveling light, macintyre.
One bag in the luggage compartment.
You didn't need to put on this reception.
This is an informal visit.
But now that I'm here,
I'd like to organize a presentation,
something these people might need,
a church hall, a piano, anything.
I'd like to make a personal gift.
You can let me know about it tomorrow.
How about the sky, macintyre?
Anything new?
Well, we'll talk about it later.
Thanks for the call.
Um, I... i... I'm not macintyre, sir.
Where the hell is he?
I've been on the move for 24 hours.
Are you macintyre?
Yes, sir.
Get me a room.
Yes, sir.
This is Gordon urquhart, hotel.
Yeah, hotel. This way, sir.
Get the luggage, Danny.
Good sky you've got here, macintyre.
Well done.
One or two unfamiliar objects to look at.
I like this place.
The air is good, clear.
Get me a telescope... Tomorrow.
2-inch refractor will do.
You hear that?
Ben's got a telescope.
It's bigger than 2 inches, though.
Jesus, Ben's got this whole place sewn up.
Come on, carry that stuff.
I'll offer him the piano, if he's the problem.
We've tried most things.
Did you try a piano?
No. We offered him $1.5 million.
I don't know if he plays piano.
He owns the whole beach?
It's been in the Knox family for 4oo years.
Knox?
Ben Knox. It's his name.
I better talk to him.
What's he like?
He's kind of eccentric, roams the beach,
has an interest in the stars, too.
In fact, he has a telescope
about this big.
He knows the sky like the back of his hands.
I'll talk to him.
He has this trick with sand.
If he offers you anything to do with sand,
say yes, we'll get him to sign.
Sand?
Up to a half bucket, say yes.
He wants to sell sand?
No. You'll know if he does it.
Don't worry about it.
I've got a plan.
I'll offer him a telescope,
a great big one.
Good luck.
Ben, it's Mac again.
Good morning to you, Mr. Mac.
This is Mr. happer. He'd like to talk with you.
Delighted to meet you, sir.
Uh...
Mr. happer is from America, like me.
America?
Well, then, mister, uh...
Happer. Happer.
Happer-happer, is it?
Come in if you've come that far.
Thank you, sir.
Oh.
That will be all for now.
Yes, sir.
See if they're still laughing.
What happened?
They want some whisky.
Ben wants beef sandwiches with mustard, no salt.
Did happer say anything?
He doesn't want any mustard, just the salt.
Nothing else happened?
I asked if they wanted water...
Ok, ok.
Stay cool, Mac. It's a good sign.
I'll get the food.
Bring some Brandy back with you.
I'm dying.
[Laughing]
[Baby crying]
Well, slange, everybody.
What? Eh? What?
Slange?
[Toasting in Russian]
Skol.
Cheers.
[Laughing]
Jesus, what's going on in there?
Sounds like they are buddies.
Any news about the money?
Not yet, Edward.
Have another Brandy.
Thanks.
Hey, look.
See you tonight.
Hello, macintyre.
How did it go, sir?
Oh, fine.
This place has a lot to offer.
The refinery site was a mistake.
Ben's been filling me in.
Ben has eight unplotted objects
in this very sky.
Think of that. We're doing a scan tonight.
The acquisition is at an advanced stage.
I want this place.
Tell crabbe to rethink the refinery site
when you see him tomorrow.
I see a kind of institute here,
a place for research and study,
an observatory, so to speak,
with radio and optical telescopes.
And after a while,
we can branch out.
The sea, sir!
This is a natural place for a marine laboratory.
We've already prepared some data
at the aberdeen lab.
The north Atlantic drift comes here,
fetches up interesting things
from all over the world.
Sea and sky.
I like that.
We can do good things.
You could call it the happer institute.
You might be right.
Might be just the name for it.
Says it all.
Good thinking, uh...
Oldsen, sir.
We got a job to do.
Crabbe will need you right away.
Take the chopper to aberdeen. Get on to Houston.
Tell crabbe to think about
an offshore establishment, but just for storage.
Tell him to put the refinery nearer the markets.
Tonight, sir?
The sooner the better.
And, macintyre, get yourself a shave.
What's this laboratory thing?
You didn't tell me about that.
It's something I've been piecing together.
Some of geddes' people are in on it.
Remember the girl?
Yeah, the girl.
Macintyre...
You'd better get moving.
I'm glad I stopped your refinery caper.
Oldsen.
Get my overcoat.
Prepare some food for later.
Ben and I will be on the telescope.
Yes, Mr. happer.
I could grow to love this place.
You don't have to pay.
I could stick it on the Knox tab.
It's been fun having you.
I'll pay.
But make it out to Stella b. Urquhart.
Stella?
She's the boss.
This is an American bank account.
It might not be valid.
We'll keep it for a souvenir.
Hope things work out with happer.
We can handle him.
The big boys want the playground
all to themselves.
At least there will be work and money.
Yeah. Work and money.
It will be ok.
Well, so long.
You should say good-bye to Stella.
It doesn't matter.
Go and see her, Mac.
Say toodle-oo for me.
And toodle-oo to you, too.
I'll see you off.
Marina.
Marina, it's the plans.
The lab... It's going to happen.
I told them all about it.
The marine laboratory... It's going to happen.
Hey, Mr. Mac.
Hey!
Can I...
Can I get your autograph?
Ta! Good luck!
Hold on, Marina!
I want to talk to you.
Good-bye!
Is that the yank in that thing?
That's him.
Ah, bugger it!
I meant to say cheerio.
Scottish one-two-four decimal niner.
Call approach on entering the zone. Out.
Bravo Romeo, Roger. Qsy one-two-zero decimal four.
[Telephone rings]
[Ring ring]