希望所有朋友都有好心情——MIX
Dear sexy Draguta, I'll be heading your way soon. 親愛的 Draguta，我馬上就可以見到你了
I still can't believe I convinced my friends to do a semester in Romania 難以置信，我就要和同學一起到羅馬尼亞共同度過一個學期
so we can finally be together. 這樣我們就可以一直呆在一起了。
Oh, man, I cannot wait to hook up 我的天，我已經迫不及待的想要跟你在一起
and do aII those nasty, dirty things that we IM'd about. 這樣我們就可以一起幹各種風流的壞事。
My friends think that you're gonna turn out to be reaIIy fat and ugIy, 我朋友都猜你准是又肥又醜
but they're just jeaIous. 他們這樣說肯定是在嫉妒我
Anyway, you'II be meeting them pretty soon, 不管怎麼樣，你馬上就可以看到我的朋友了。
so maybe I shouId teII you a IittIe about them. 我事先給你透漏一點關於他們的資訊吧
First' we've got Pete and Wang. They're way into avoiding stress. 首先是Pete和Wang，他們現在正在發愁呢
Right now they're figuring out 如何攜帶整一個學期的毒品
how to get a semester supply ofstress reduction out of the country. 這夠他們頭疼一會了。
You ready? 準備好了嗎？
I think so. 我想是的
Oh, boy. 夥計，慢點來
Goddamn! HoIy shit, that hurts! 上帝啊，讓我死吧，太他媽痛了
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 夥計輕點，輕點
- It's in. 搞定了嗎？ - Okay. 完了
Okay. 太好了
You ready? 準備好了嗎？到你了
It's just Iike pooping in reverse. 感覺只是像把大便倒吸回去而已，沒什麼的
Pete's girlfriend's coming. Her name's Lia. She's a goody-goody. 這是Pete的女朋友，Lia，她是個乖乖女
She has a twin sister, Danni. She likes to party. 她有一個雙胞胎姐姐Danni，喜歡party
Danni, wake up. Danni, wake... Danni醒醒，Danni，醒......
Then there's Newmar and Lynne. She's really into role-playing. 這是Newmar和Lynne，Lynne超喜歡角色扮演
He's worried that she's a little out of his league in the sex department. 她過於強烈的欲望總是讓Newmar有點吃不消。
Newmar, you just take a homerun. Newmar快給我表演一個全壘
- Hey, you're supposed to come over here. -你只要跑到我這裡就行 - Okay. -沒問題
Throw down the baII. 把球丟掉
- Now, kiss me. -現在，吻我 - Yeah. -太棒了
- Lynne! Lynne, are you okay? Lynne！Lynne，你還好嗎？ - I'm okay, baby. Come here! -我還好，寶貝，快點給我
- I'm gonna give it to you. -我這就給你 - Yes, you are. -沒錯，就要這樣
And you know that probIem I had? I'm pretty sure it won't happen again. 你知道我曾經有過的問題嗎？我發誓不會再發生了
- That's great, baby -那樣就太棒了 - I'm gonna give you the best you ever had. -我要給你最爽的體驗
Then there's Brady. He's a total geek. Brady，完完全全的電腦迷
- Hey, what up, man? -嗨，有什麼好事嗎？ - Hey, my book finaIIy arrived. -嘿，我的書終於到了
This puppy's got the entire history of Razvan University in it. Razvan大學的全部歷史可全在這小東西裡
Do you know our schooI's gonna be in a castIe? 你能想像我們將要去的學校是一個城堡嗎？
- His roommate Mike's a little confused. 他室友Mike的腦子有了點小混亂 - Look at the Iegs on that chick. 快看那個小妞的美腿
I'd Iike to have her riding me for a whiIe, if you get what I'm saying. 我真想讓她在我身上騎一會，你懂我意思的。
- That's a guy, Mike. 不過，那可是個男的啊，Mike..... - What? No, it's... 什麼？不會吧，他真的是.....
No. 我的天
Then there's Cliff. 這是Cliff
He was supposed to come with us, but I don't know what happened to him. 他也會跟我們一起來，但他的一些事我也不是太瞭解
Hey, I got it, aII right? 嗨，我已經帶貨來了
What, do you think I'm gonna rip you off? 是在擔心我會高價宰你們嗎？
Looks Iike we got a deaI. 看來我們成交了
- I just wanna check the quaIity. -我還需要再檢查一下品質 - AII right. -好的，隨便
This is my top earner, okay? Take care of her. 我可是靠這個吃飯的，好吧？輕點，別弄壞了
Okay? 沒問題的
WeII, that's everybody.Bye untiI we meet in Romania. 好了，以上就是所有的人了。與你相約在羅馬尼亞，再見.
- HoIy shit! 我的天！ - Rusty? 是Rusty嗎？
Draguta, you got your camera to work.I can see you. Draguta,我可以通過攝像頭看到你
I can see you, too, Rusty. 我也可以看到你，Rusty
- You Iook just Iike your picture. -你看起來就像畫一樣漂亮動人 - You look even better than yours. 你看起來比本人更帥氣
I've been working out. 讓我展示給你看
- You are turning me on. 你已經挑動我了 - Yeah? 是嗎？
- What do you think about this? -這個怎樣？ - Show me more. -讓我看到更多的表演
AII right. 沒問題
I just got it waxed. I hope you Iike it. 我還打了蠟，希望你喜歡
I would like to sink my teeth into them buttocks. 我真想用牙齒咬一下你的屁股
WeII, that's not aII that's waxed, baby.How's that for a haircut? 寶貝，還不止這個呢，看看這毛髮裁剪的怎樣
- You are torturing me. -你在用你的性感折磨我 - Yeah? What do you think about this? 是嗎？你喜歡嗎？
It's aII for you.It's aII for you, Scandinavian... 這全是為你而做的，全部都是
-... this is the room that we have to... -....我們必須把這間房..... - How I want that U.S. penis. 我多想擁有一支美國陰莖
- Sweet! - Sweet!
So, Chapter 2. ''The castIe became infested with vampires. '' 第二章，佈滿吸血鬼的城堡
Whoa, did you say vampires? I thought you were reading a history of the university. 哇，你是說吸血鬼嗎？我還以為你一直在讀那個大學的歷史呢。
I am. ''Vampires'' is what it says. 我就是在讀，吸血鬼就是書裡提到的
ActuaIIy, this book was written by one of the schooI's professors, Teodora Van SIoan. 實際上，這本書是這個大學裡的一個教授寫的，Teodora Van SIoan
Why wouId they have a schooI in a creepy oId castIe anyway? 他們為什麼要把學校建在一個毛骨悚然的舊城堡裡？
AII right. If I couId continue reading this... 好吧，我還可以繼續讀這本書嗎？
''In the Dark Ages,all feared the vampires of Castle Razvan. 在那個黑暗的時期，城堡裡滿是恐怖的吸血鬼
''The leader of the bloodthirsty creatures 這些黑暗嗜血生物的領導者
''was the ruthless vampire king known as Radu. '' 就是無情的吸血鬼王Radu
- No way.瞎扯 - Hey, Rusty, that guy Iooks just Iike you. 嗨Rusty，這傢伙跟你長的真像
What? 沒搞錯吧？
I hate to teII you, but I'm a Iot better Iooking than this snowfIake. 我不得不告訴你，我比這雪白的衰佬帥多了。
No, you reaIIy do Iook just Iike him. 哈，你看起來真的很像他啊
I didn't know that reaI vampires were so fat and ugIy. 我竟然都不知道真正的吸血鬼是又肥又醜
Yeah? WeII, do fat and ugIy guys have girIfriends that Iook Iike this? 哼，難道又肥又醜的傢伙會有如此漂亮的女朋友嗎？
She's your girIfriend? 她是你的女朋友？
- Yeah, yeah. 對的，沒錯 - Let me see. 讓我看看
She can't get enough of me.We have sex at Ieast twice a day. 她永遠都渴求我，我們每天至少愛愛兩次
How did you meet her, you smeIIy bastard? 你個衰人是怎麼遇到她的？
On the Internet. She Iives right by the castIe. 在網上，她就住在城堡旁邊
Wait a minute. How have you had sex if you haven't met her yet? 等一下，你們都還沒有見過面，怎麼做愛？
Hey, what's that aII over the screen?Do you see that? 嘿，你們看到了嗎，螢幕上粘的是什麼玩意？
AII right, guys. Let me finish the story. 夥計們，讓我把故事講完
''Radu's great Iove was a human named Stephania, a sorceress as eviI as he. Radu的最愛是一個叫Stephania的人類，一個跟他一樣邪惡的女巫
''Together, they terrorized the countryside, feasting on the blood of the innocent. 他們的恐怖籠罩著整個鄉村，他們盡情享用無辜者的鮮血
''While Radu's love for the sorceress brought him strength, 對女巫的愛帶給了Radu強大的力量，
''it was also his greatest weakness, 但這也是Radu最大的死穴，
''a weakness that Victor Van Sloan, the famed vampire hunter, 有名的吸血鬼獵手Victor Van Sloan
''sought to exploit. '' 一直在尋找這個弱點
ExceIIent. The sun shaII rise in exactIy two hours. 好機會，太陽將會在2小時內升起。
Now, my boy, it is time to execute my genius pIan. 現在是時間來實施我的完美計畫了
This pIan is stupid. You can't kiII aII those vampires by yourseIf. 你的計畫太傻比了，靠你自己不可能把這些吸血鬼全部殺完
Of course not. 當然不可能
I wiII be captured, and they shaII find me with this. 我會被俘虜，然後他們就會發現這個
Now, remember, you must pIace the cart exactIy where I specify. 記住，你必須把手推車放到我指定的位置上
''X'' marks... X標記...
- ''X'' marks the spot. X表示那個地點 - I know. 我知道
ExactIy where I specify because it is of the utmost... 我所標記的地方正是最有利的.....
I know. ''X'' marks the spot. 知道了，X表示放車的地點
- What is this? -這是什麼？ - Do not touch that, you witch. -別碰它
It is too precious for your fiIthy eyes. 你骯髒的雙眼會玷污它的
''In Stephania's arrogance, she walked right into Van Sloan's trap, Stephania因為過於大意，而掉進了Van Sloan的陷阱
''for the music box was enchanted. 這是一個擁有誘人魔力的音樂盒
''Her soul left her body and was imprisoned inside the box. '' 她的靈魂脫離了她的身體，被囚禁在音樂盒裡
Van SIoan!
I am the greatest vampire sIayer of them aII! 我是最偉大的吸血鬼獵手！
Shit. 糟糕
''As the music box disappeared' 音樂盒丟失後
''Radu placed Stephania's body in his secret crypt' Radu把Stephania的身體藏在他的秘密地下室裡
''vowing one day to bring her back to life. 期待有一天可以使她重新恢復生命
''Radu left Castle Razvan on a quest to recover his true love's soul. 為了找尋心愛之人的靈魂，Radu離開了Razvan城堡。
''The hunt for the music box continues to this day. '' 開始尋找那個音樂盒子，一直到今天
Dude, that's it? What happened to the vampire? WouIdn't he stiII be aIive? 夥計，就這樣完了？那個吸血鬼到底怎麼了，到現在他還活著嗎？
Yes, Pete, 'cause vampires are reaI. And you know what? 是的Pete，吸血鬼是真實存在的，你知道嗎，
I bet Van SIoan's ancestors are stiII searching for that music box. 我敢打賭，Van SIoan的後人到現在都還在尋找那個音樂盒
So, sort of Iike a story with no ending. 就像一個還沒有結尾的故事
I shouId have brought my machine gun. 我早該帶上我的機槍的
Reneau, bring me the music box. Now! Reneau，快把音樂盒帶給我，馬上！
JeweIry, charms, scarves. 寶石，符咒，圍巾
Handsome. 帥小夥
You have stars in your eyes. You are in Iove? 星星在你眼眸裡閃耀，你正沐浴在愛河
- Yeah, actuaIIy, I am. -嗯，事實上，我是的 - Maybe Iocket for your speciaI girI? -給你心上的女孩挑一個小盒子吧
How much for this music box? 這音樂盒多少錢?
Where is it? I Iost it. Where is it? 在哪裡？我把它丟了，在哪裡？
Where is my... 我的....
Must have been a big Romanian bug or something. 也許是剛到羅馬尼亞產生錯覺了吧，管他呢
Hey, Pete. Look what I got. 嘿，Pete，看我搞到了什麼。
- Mr. Wang, my good, good man. -王，你真是我的好好先生 - A shampoo bottIe. Party. -一個洗髮水盒子？我還是對Party更感興趣
- So, who wants to get high? -誰想來high一下？ - I do. This guy. PIease, thank you. -我，我，求求你，你真是個好人
Are you guys smuggIing drugs? 你們在走私毒品？
Do you guys even know what the drug Iaws are in this country? 你們難道不知道這個國家有關毒品的法律規定？
Baby, baby, no one's gonna get caught as Iong as everyone stays cooI. 寶貝，寶貝，只要我們保持低調，沒有人會被抓起來的
- You guys in? -還有要加入的嗎？ - I'm in. -算我一個
You know I don't do drugs. 你知道我不吸毒的
WiII you stop acting Iike such a goody-goody? 你能不再表現的像個乖孩子一樣嗎？
- I've seen where you have a tattoo. -我曾經看到你抽過一支香煙 - Lia, can you just Iive for once? -Lia，你就不想真正的享受一下嗎？
Okay, and why don't I teII Mom you're trying to get me addicted to drugs? 好吧，看我怎麼告訴媽媽你是如何用毒品引誘我的
It's pot. You can't get addicted, you retard. 拜託，只是一點，不會上癮的
Hey, I found something super crazy in the baggage car. 嘿，我在行李廂找到一些超級瘋狂的東西
- Ladies, you know where to find us. -女士們，你們知道到哪裡去找我們 - Peace out. -就這樣了
- Lia! HeIIo. -你好Lia - Hey, Brady. -你好，Brady
Can you beIieve we're here in Romania? 你能相信嗎，我們現在可是在羅馬尼亞啊
I mean, I've heard it's beautifuI and aII, but... You're shutting... 我的意思是，我以前聽說它很美麗，但....你不要關......
Sorry, I got in your way. 不好意思，我妨礙到你了
Check these out, dude. I wonder if the peopIe inside are aII naked. 夥計，來檢查一下，我很懷疑躺在裡邊的人是不是都裸著呢。
Awesome. 酷斃了
No, no, no, don't open that. 不，不，不，別打開它
Look at them titties. 瞧瞧這對乳房
That is one fine-ass dead girI. Let's smoke. 這死掉的女孩有個靚屁股，讓我們來high一下吧
Hey, gorgeous. 嗨，gorgeous
So, I was thinking about the many different ways that a guy can make a girI happy 我一直在想如何用不同的方法使一個女生開心
when I happened upon this. 我剛巧發現了這個
- I bought you a present. -我給你買了一份禮物 - Newmar, it's beautifuI. -Newmar，它太漂亮了
I Iove it. 我喜歡它
I don't see a coIIege. 這裡一所學校也看不到
WeII, I'II just ask one of the friendIy IocaIs about it, huh? 我來問一下友好的當地人吧
Excuse me, sir? Yeah. Can I get some directions from you? 抱歉打擾一下，我想問一下路
- Where you need to go? -你要去哪裡？ - We need to go to the University Razvan. -我們要去Razvan大學
What did I say? 我說什麼了嗎？
So, excuse me, Mr. Horse-driver-person. 額，打擾一下，馬車夫先生
Why are the townsfoIk so afraid of Razvan University? 為什麼當地人這麼害怕Razvan大學？
For the Iast severaI years, girIs have been disappearing in the area around Razvan. 在過去的幾年裡，女孩經常會在Razvan附近失蹤
Wait, what happened to them? 等一下，她們出什麼事了？
Some say a hideous monster roams the castIe grounds at night, 有人說有一個非常醜陋的怪物會在夜晚出現在城堡的空地上
aIways searching for the next victim. 一直在尋找下一個獵物
- That's such buIIshit. -這簡直就是扯淡 - BeIieve it or not. -愛信不信
But I wouId stay inside the CastIe Razvan at night, if I were you. 如果我是你，晚上我會選在呆在城堡裡邊。
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is it my imagination, 喔，喔，喔，這是我的幻覺
or is it that every time somebody says ''Razvan''... 還是每次有人說“Razvan”...
I knew it! Every time you say ''Razvan. '' 我明白了，你每次說“Razvan”....
- Razvan! - Rusty, I'm about to puke. Stop. -Rusty，不要再說了，我都快吐了
Hey, wait. Guys, where's Pete and Wang? 嘿夥計們，Pete和Wang哪去了？
- Munchies eIiminated. -味道不錯的食物 - Where'd everybody go? -其他人哪去了？
- We shouId have asked what these were. -我們得問一下這是用什麼做的 - A IocaI deIicacy. -當地的小點心
Sheep testicIe stuffed goat baIIs. 綿羊的睾丸配上山羊的睾丸
Two kinds of baIIs, huh? 兩種睾丸，哈？
- Dude, that bike is awesome. -哥們，這摩托太酷了 - Ever since the faII of Soviet Union, -自從蘇聯解體之後
there is one thing aII Romanians have dreamed of owning. 所有羅馬尼亞人都夢想擁有一樣東西
How much for those American bIue jeans? 你們的美國藍色牛仔褲賣多少錢？
Hey, guys! 嗨，夥計們！
- Dean FIoca. You must Iisten to me. -Dean FIoca.你必須聽我說 - Teodora. -Teodora
- You must shut down the schooI. -你必須關閉學校 - CIose the schooI? -關閉學校？
May I presume this has something to do with vampires? 讓我想一下，難道跟吸血鬼有關？
- I have reason to beIieve that Count Radu... -我們有理由相信Count Radu... - Radu, Radu, Radu! - Radu, Radu, Radu!
He is coming back. I am sure of it. 我非常確信，他正在回到這裡。
Professor Van SIoan, I have been most understanding Van SIoan教授，雖然我理解你的感受
because of your famiIy's Iong history with this castIe. 你的家族與這座城堡有著很深的淵源。
But my patience wears very thin. 但是我的忍耐是有限的
You are making a big mistake. 你正在犯下一個巨大的錯誤
It Iooks a IittIe different in the brochure. 這裡跟畫冊比起來有點不太一樣啊
Hey, nice toss, dude. 扔的好，哥們
As you can see, we are busiIy setting up 正如你們所看到的，我們正在為後天晚上的
for our annuaI back-to-schooI dance, 年度返校舞會
which is the night after tomorrow. 做積極的準備
And, yes, it is a masquerade baII. 這將是一個化妝舞會
FoIIow me. 跟我走
I didn't know about that.I don't have anything to wear. 我都不知道還有這個，我都沒有合適的服裝穿
If you wear nothing, I don't think anyone wiII compIain. 如果你什麼都不穿，沒有人會抱怨你的
- Hi, I'm Marin. -嗨，我是Marin -Lynne -Lynne
Newmar, are you Iistening to this crap? Newmar，你聽到這些屁話了嗎？
What? She's just taIking to another guy. I don't have to worry about that. 怎麼了？她只是跟另外的男生說說話而已，我沒有必要擔心。
I didn't know America had such beautifuI women. 我都不知道原來美國有如此漂亮的女人
Eurotrash. 歐洲敗類
HeIIo? HeIIo, is someone here? 有人在嗎？
Where is that fooI Reneau with my music box? 蠢貨Reneau和我的音樂盒在哪裡？
- Humans. -人類 - I have waited 500 years for this. -我已經為此刻等待了500年
And I wiII not wait another century for the DeviI's Moon to rise again. 我不能再花費一個世紀的時間去等待惡魔之月的升起。
- Are we there yet? -我們到了嗎？ - No. -沒有
- Are we cIose? -我們快到了嗎？ - Yes. -是的
- I have to go to the bathroom. -我急著想去洗手間 - Shut up! -閉嘴！
WeIcome to Combat and SeIf-Defense. 歡迎來參加“戰鬥與防禦”
Does anyone have any experience wieIding a bIade? 你們中誰有過使用刀刃的經驗？
Yes. 不錯
I was co-captain of my high schooI fencing team. 我曾經是高中擊劍隊的隊長
- Let's see what you know. -讓我看看你都會些什麼 - Okay. -沒問題
Over there. 到那邊去
Good. 不錯嘛
Remember, cIass, the best defense is surprise 同學們，記住，出其不意是最好的防禦
and totaI domination of your adversary. 要完全的控制住你的對手
Once you have your opponent on the ground, you retrieve your stake 一旦你的對手倒地，你要保持住你的優勢
and you jam it into their heart! 插入對手的心臟
Now, getting through the rib cage can be difficuIt, so you'II need the aid of a maIIet! 要想穿透肋骨會有點難度，這時就需要一把錘子
And of course, as a finaI measure of safety, decapitation. 當然，最保險的做法就是，斬掉他的頭
Questions? 有問題嗎？
- Are we Iearning to fight vampires? -我們是在學習對付吸血鬼嗎？ - Don't be siIIy. -別傻想
Next, we'II be Iearning what to do if your attacker 接下來，我們要學習，萬一你的敵人
comes at you from a coffin. You retrieve your hoIy crucifix! 從棺材裡襲擊你，那就拿出神聖的十字架
CastIe Razvan. Razvan城堡
Stephania, my Iove. Stephania我的愛人
I have finaIIy returned. 我終於回來了
We must obtain fresh bIood for the ceremony. 我們必須從典禮上弄到一些鮮血
I sense the box is within these castIe waIIs. 我感覺到音樂盒就在這座城堡裡
So, what do you think of this for the baII? 穿這個到舞會效果怎樣？
OnIy freshman Iosers go to the baII. 只有低年級的傻瓜才會去那個舞會
Yeah? WeII, where do the cooI kids Iike us go? 是嗎？那麼像我這麼酷的人都去哪裡逛？
- The vampire party. -吸血鬼派對 - Vampire party? -吸血鬼派對？
We aII dress up Iike vampires, drink, pIay games. 我們都穿的像吸血鬼一樣，吃喝玩樂
You shouId both come. Here. 你們兩個都該來試一試，給，邀請函
Just don't invite any Iosers. 千萬不要邀請傻瓜來參加
Hey, what's going on? What are you guys taIking about? 嗨，有好事嗎？你們在談些什麼？
Nothing. 沒事
I got three pair. 我有三件
- I got two. -我有兩件 - Sweet. -不錯嘛
- Yo. -誰 - Hey. -嗨
- Hey, buddy. -嗨夥計 - Can I come in? -我能進來嗎？
Yeah. 當然
- Nice boots. -靴子不錯啊 - Thanks, man. -多謝誇獎
- Getting ready for the big date? -為今天的大日子做好準備了？ - Yeah. -是的
About an hour from now, I wiII be having sex with an actuaI Iive person. 從現在開始起一小時，我都會跟一個活生生的人享受愛愛的生活
CooI. 酷
Hey, Rusty. 嘿Rusty
You know that guy that Lynne was taIking to on the tour... 你知道在行程中跟Lynne談話的那個小子吧
You know, I don't have anything to worry about. 你知道，我沒有什麼不放心的
I mean, she's not gonna cheat on me, is she? 我的意思是，她不會欺騙我的感情的，不是嗎？
Not unIess you're Iame in the sack. Are you? 不會，除非你是個無能的窩囊廢。
- How'd you hear about that? -你是怎麼知道那件事的？ - Dude, the whoIe worId knows. -哥們全世界都知道了，好不好
WeII, what shouId I do? 那我該怎麼辦？
You just have to be so great in the sack 你只要讓自己變得強壯起來
that she forgets that any other guy ever pumped her. 強壯到可以讓她忘記其他男生
You know? I mean, sometimes chicks, they don't aIways Iike this aII the time, you know? 你知道嗎？我的意思是，有些時候，女生不是一直都喜歡很激烈的，不是嗎？
Sometimes they Iike a IittIe bit of that, you know what I mean? Here, Iook. 有時她們需要的只是一點點的，你理解我的意思嗎？
Got something for you. 有樣東西給你
The Codex Eroticon. A cIassic. Written Iike 1,000 years ago. 1000年前的經典手抄本
Makes the Kama Sutra Iook Iike Martha Stewart's prison notes. 看了可以讓人獲益匪淺
You know what eIse I got? 你知道我還有其他別的嗎？
These erotic comic books that I've been working on in conjunction with my memoirs. 這本色情連環畫，記載得滿是我的美好回憶
''Uncensored and raw''? 完全自然原生的？
- What? -什麼？ - You know what? The book wiII do you. -你知道嗎，這本書可以幫到你
- I don't know about this. -我對這些完全不瞭解 - Take the Codex Eroticon. PIease. -收下這本經典手抄本，好不好
There's a Iegend that surrounds this haIIowed tome, Newmar. Newmar，傳說在這本書裡有一種神奇的力量
They say that the moves contained within are so powerfuI 這種力量是如此的強大
that you can IiteraIIy bIow a chick's mind, 你完全可以運用這股力量去改變一個女孩的頭腦
turning her into some kind of raging nympho. 把她從矜持的小女生變成一個戀男狂
Is that true? 是真的嗎？
WeII, that's what Tony toId me at the Twat-A-Rama, 這些都是Tony在一個性經派對上告訴我的
and he wouId never Iie to me. 他從來不會騙我的
- Thanks. -謝謝 - What are best friends for? -什麼才是最好的朋友？
So, the guys are meeting us both in the courtyard? 男生都在庭院裡等著我倆嗎？
Yeah. How far away is town? 是的，城鎮離這裡有多遠？
So, you and Pete, you're not, Iike, super serious or anything. 你和Pete，關係好像不是很緊密。
You're probabIy gonna break up with him, right? 你跟他分手了嗎？
- No. Why wouId you say that? -沒有，你為什麼這樣說？ - Because you guys are just so different. -因為你們有很多的不同之處
I mean, you said it yourseIf, you don't have much in common. 這可是你自己說過的，你們的相同點太少了
We've onIy been dating a month. 我們已經約會一個月了
And I reaIIy do think I can get him to stop partying. 我想我可以改掉他身上的壞毛病
- PIus, he's so cute. -再說，他實在是太可愛了 - You're right. He is cute. -沒錯，他是有那麼點可愛
- Yeah. -是吧 - He's cute. -沒錯，可愛
Ladies! Who's ready to go into town and spend some jeans? 女士們，誰想去城鎮賣掉牛仔換些錢花花？
I have a whoIe Iist of fun things to do. 我有一大堆有意義的事要去做
There's an art gaIIery and a baIIet performance. 那裡有一個藝術展出和一個芭蕾表演等著我呢
- The baIIet? -芭蕾？ - Wang, here's an idea. -Wang，我有一個主意
Let's go into town and get deepIy wasted. 我們一起去城鎮，然後痛快的揮霍
I don't wanna get deepIy wasted. I wanna take in some cuIture. 我不想去揮霍，我希望獲取一些文藝知識。
CIass? Who'd Iike to go into town and get deepIy wasted? 夥計們，誰想去城鎮裡盡情揮霍一下？
- I do. -我 - You Iove art, Danni. -你是愛藝術的Danni
- Lia, Iet Ioose. Come on. -Lia，放鬆一下，一起來吧 - Come on. -來吧
No, I don't wanna go get wasted. 不，我一點都不想把時間浪費掉
You know what, you guys go and have your ''fun. '' 你們幾個去吧，盡情享受你們的“小樂趣”吧
- I won't wait up. -我不會去的 - AII right. -好吧
- Lia, come on. Lia. -Lia，拜託，一起來吧 - Hop on. Come on, Danni. -Danni，上車，出發
Live to ride! 現在啟動
Let's do this. 我們一起出發
It's denim time! 揮霍瀟灑的時刻！
Chipmunk, I got something. Chipmunk，我有一點小東西
- Another present for me? -又一個給我的禮物 - No, a present for us. -不，給我們的禮物
The music box. 音樂盒
You have no idea how cIose you have come to pure eviI! 你都不知道你自己是如此的接近惡魔
- Where did you get that music box? -你從哪裡得到的音樂盒？ - From my mother. -媽媽給我的
Her mother gave it to her on her wedding day. 我外祖母在她婚禮那天送給她的
And my mother gave it to me just before she sIipped into a coma. 然後媽媽又送給我，就在她去世之前
I'm sorry about that. 我很抱歉
TeII no one. 不許告訴任何人
AII right. 等一下
This is Iike reading IKEA instructions. 感覺就像在讀IKEA的說明書
So, your Ieg goes here. 你腿放在這裡
- Like this? -像這樣？ - Yeah, yeah. And my arm goes here. -對對，然後我的胳膊放在這裡
Whose hand is this? 這是誰的手？
Not Iike that! 不是這樣的！
Newmar.
- HeIIo, cutie. -嗨，帥哥 - Hi. -嗨
I'm Niobe, and these are my friends, Mira and Asha. 我叫Niobe，這是我的朋友，Mira和Asha
- HeIIo. - HeIIo.
Come up to our room. We are having a party. 來我們的房間吧，我們正在舉行一個派對
- You Iadies sound very friendIy. -你們真是可愛近人 - Yes.
Come.
Why, yes, Draguta, I... Draguta. （這小子在練發音）
Draguta. Like pizza. （這小子在練發音）
Yes, I wiII heIp you remove that dress right now. 我這就幫你褪去衣服
Yeah, there's that big tree. 找到大樹了
Why, yes. I wiII have sex with you in person now. 太棒了我馬上就可以跟你做愛了
- Pair of jeans! -一件牛仔 - Have a good time, kids. -好好享受，孩子們
Fucking house. 操蛋房子
Yes? 找誰？
Dean FIoca? Oh, man. Dean FIoca?不會吧？
I think I got the wrong house. I'm Iooking for this chick named Draguta. 我想我找錯地方了，我在找一個叫做Draguta的女孩
You must be Rusky, her computer boyfriend. Draguta is my daughter. 你一定是Rusky吧，她的網上男友，Draguta是我女兒
- Come right in. -快進來吧 - AII right. -好的
Draguta, your boyfriend's here. 女兒，你的朋友來啦
Rusty?
Rusty, finaIIy we meet in the fIesh. Rusty，我們終於在現實中見面了
Young Iove, it is a beautifuI thing. 小寶貝，這是多麼的美好啊
Father, I am so happy. He's perfect. 爸爸，我太高興了，他簡直就是完美的
Rugby, come with me. Just a IittIe chat between us men. Rugby，跟我來，來次男人間的談話
See you in a bit, smoochiekins. 待會見，小寶貝
I Iike to coIIect torture tchotchkes. 我喜歡收集拷問刑具
And I keep them aII in proper working order. 而且總是讓它們保持在最佳的工作狀態
The iron maiden. 鋼鐵小可愛
- Say, why don't you step into here? -為什麼不進來試一下？ - Because it's fuII of spikes? -裡邊可都是大長釘啊
You've come back. 你回來啦
I suppose by now 我認為
you've Iearned an important Iesson about not standing up my daughter? 你已經明白了永遠不要讓我女兒失望這個道理
Yes. 是的
This is Draguta's new boyfriend, Rusby. 這是Draguta的新男朋友，Rusby
Thank you! 太感謝你了
I'm aImost done with the aIterations. What do you think? 我已經做了重大的改變，你認為怎樣？
- I think it Iooks great. -看起來不錯 - Don't I Iook sexy and eviI? -看起來是不是既性感又魅惑？
I pricked my finger on a pin. 我的手指被別針紮了
What happened? 出什麼事了？
Stephania. She has returned. 是Stephania，她回來了
This is not my body. 這不是我的身體
What's that, baby? 怎麼了寶貝？
I was trapped in this. 我被困於此
- You! You set me free! -是你使我獲得自由 - WeII, you set me free, too. -你也讓我覺得自由
What, are we doing funny accents now, matey? 我們現在是在玩怪聲怪調遊戲嗎？
Come on. Let's go back to bed, huh? 來，一起回到床上，恩?
What? A woman as magnificent as I wouId deign to touch you? 什麼？像我這樣極致華麗的女人竟然會去碰你？
WeII, we did just... 我們剛才......
- I mean, I am your boyfriend. -實際上 我是你的男朋友 - FooIish boy. 愚蠢的男孩
This body may have been yours once, but no Ionger. 這具身體也許曾經屬於你，但現在不是了
What's gotten into you? 你怎麼了？
The book. The Iegends were true. 書,那個傳說是真的
FinaIIy I am free. Free to do such dark, wonderfuI things! 我終於自由了，享受黑暗邪惡的生活
What? 怎麼了？
I feeI weird. What just happened? 我感覺很奇怪，剛才我是怎麼了？
You... 你......
Nothing. 沒事
Everything's just fine. Yeah. 一切都很好
Say, why don't we go meet your friends? 嘿，為什麼我們不去見一下你的朋友？
- They sound Iike fun. -他們好像很有趣 - Yeah, right. -額，是的
Have one of those d-bags try to steaI you away from me? 讓他們拿一個精緻的手提袋就把你從我身邊哄走？
I'm not that stupid. 我才沒那麼蠢
Look at the time. I gotta go study. I've got cIass earIy tomorrow. 時間不早了，我得去學習了，而且我明早還得去上課
He's a keeper, this one. Don't Iet him get away. 他是呆的時間最長的，別輕易放過他
- Don't you worry about that. -別擔心 - Okay, that's nice. I'II see you Iater. -好吧，不錯的夜晚，再見
Stupid. I feeI so fucking... FuII body photo. 傻逼，我去他媽的全身照片
Send a fuII body photo. 一張全身照片
What kind of a fucking moron doesn't ask for a fuII body photo? 我真是一個弱智，連一張全身照都沒有要過
Hey, there's that Marin guy. 那個叫Marin的傢伙
Those chicks Iook normaI. No humps. Three at a time, he gets them. 這些妞看起來不錯，沒有駝背，一搞三，他真行
In a sweater Iike that? Hey, Marin! Hey! 還穿那樣的毛衣？嘿，Marin，嘿！
Where'd they go? 他們哪去了
- I'm the worst sister ever. -我是最差勁的姐姐 - You are the best sister ever. -你是最優秀的姐姐
- I'm not just drunk, so you know. -如你所知，我不止喝酒 - No, me either. I am not just drunk. -我也是，我也不止喝酒
We've gotta teII Lia. We can't do this behind her back. 我們得告訴Lia，我們不能在她背後這麼做
Okay, we're gonna teII her. 好的，我們以後告訴他
She might be mad at first, but she's gonna be fine. 她剛開始會很生氣，但過會也許就好了
That's hot. 真熱
Dude. 哥們
That guy says for two pairs of jeans, he'II take us hunting. 那傢伙說只要2件牛仔，就帶我們去打獵
- Hunting? -打獵？ - WeII, I'm kind of tired. -算了，我已經累了
- I don't wanna... -我不想.... - ApparentIy, -實際上
this kind of hunting is iIIegaI in Romania. 這種打獵在羅馬尼亞是非法的
WeII, ''iIIegaI'' is one of my favorite words. “非法”是我最愛的一個詞彙
- You're okay? -準備好了？ - Yeah. -是
Okay, Iet's do it. 好，開始吧
Dude, I'm pumped. I bet we're gonna hunt an endangered species. 夥計，我太興奮了，我打賭我們會打到即將滅絕的物種
Dude, I hope it's a panda. They think they're so fucking cute. 我希望打到一隻熊貓，它們太他媽可愛了
- Wait, pandas don't cIimb trees, right? -等會，熊貓是不是不爬樹？ - I don't know, baby. -我也不知道
- Get ready, Americans. -準備好了？美國佬 - Yeah. -好了
Yeah. 太棒了
HoIy shit, dude, this is crazy. HoIy shit. 我的天，夥計，這太不可思議了，太棒了
Here it comes! 出來啦
CIiff?
Hey, Pete.
What's wrong? You don't want to hunt no more? 怎麼了？你們不想打獵了嗎？
- WeII... -那個..... - That's a person. -那可是個人啊
- Yeah. -是啊 - Most dangerous game. -最危險刺激的遊戲
We went to high schooI together. -高中我們一起去上學的
How the heII did you get here? 你是怎麼進去的？
Got busted seIIing counterfeit jeans. 上帝喜歡做牛仔褲的生意
No refunds. 不可能退款
Do you want to hunt him or not? 你到底還要不要射殺他？
Maybe we couId chase him around for a whiIe. 或許我們可以先把他放了追他一會
How about we just, you know, take him with us? 讓他跟我們呆在一起怎麼樣？
- 'Cause we've aIready paid for him, right? -畢竟我們已經為他付錢了，好嗎？ - I don't know. Risky for me. -我不知道，你看著辦
Okay. 好
Another pair of jeans. Jeans. 再加一件牛仔，牛仔的
Hey, can I borrow some of those jeans off you? 嗨，我能借你們一些牛仔嗎？
No, dude. I just spent some serious denim to save your ass, 不行，我已經花了幾條牛仔褲用來救你了
- so, no, you can't mooch off me. -你不要再跟我要錢了 - Man, I don't need your charity. -我不是需要你的救濟
I'II shack up with some girI. I got the perfect Iie. 我跟一些女孩同居，並撒了完美的謊
You stiII teIIing them you're an internationaI freedom fighter? 你仍舊告訴她們你是國際自由戰士？
No, man. This is Romania. I teII them I'm a vampire sIayer. 不，這可是在羅馬尼亞，我告訴他們我是吸血鬼獵手
Sure, that works. 這竟然會管用
Yo, Marin, dude.I saw you with those hot chicks Iast night. 嘿Marin，夥計，我昨晚看到你跟那些火辣的小妞在一起
- How'd that go? -感覺怎樣？ - I don't reaIIy remember. -我真的記不起來了
- I think we had an orgy. -我想我們在狂歡 - SeriousIy? -真的？
You're white as a sheep. What, they fuck you with a toboggan or something? 你白的就像綿羊一樣，她們上你時用了雪橇還是什麼玩意？
Weren't you there? 你昨晚在那裡嗎？
Dude... Come on, man, caII me next time. It's okay to share. 夥計，別這樣，下次記得叫上我，這種事值得分享
So coId. So coId. 好冷，好冷
Rusty, you IittIe douchebag. Rusty，你個廢物
How was the Internet girIfriend thing Iast night? 昨晚你的網上女友表現怎樣？
- Is she hot in reaI Iife? -她在現實中也很辣嗎？ - Yeah, you kidding me? She's a totaI fox. -當然，不是開玩笑，她簡直就是一隻狐狸
You guys can't meet her, though, because she's reaIIy shy. 你們沒有什麼沒機會看到她了，因為她很害羞的
Rusty. HeIIo. HeIIo. Smoochiekins. HeIIo. Rusty，你好，你好，帥哥們，你們好
I got cIass now, but I wiII see you Iater. 我現在有課，但我會待會來見你
HoIy shit. That was her? 有沒有搞錯，那就是她？
I had a hunch there was gonna be something speciaI about her. 我就有預感，那裡肯定有不同尋常的東西在等你
Did you hump her? 你上她了嗎？
Hey, did you see that fucking girI? She's fucking hot, man. 嘿，你們看到那個糟透了的女孩嗎？太屌了！
Yeah? WeII, freshman year, Mike made out with a dude in Cancun. 怎麼了？第一年Mike在Cancun跟一男的搞上了
You son of a bitch. I toId you that in confidence. 你個混蛋，我是出於信任才告訴你的
I was drunk. I thought he was a chick. 我當時喝醉了，我還以為他是一個女的
Not so funny now, huh, douchebag? 現在好像不是很有趣，哈，廢物
WeII, I gotta go, you guys. But just so you know, 我要走了夥計們，
I have an in on some of the orgies happening around here in this castIe, 這座城堡裡還有一些狂歡活動要舉行
and none of you guys are invited. 但是你們沒有人會被邀請
So think about that next time you're spanking your pud. 想像一下你們無聊時敲布丁的情景吧
- Later, dude-kisser. -待會見，吻男者 - Yeah. -對
Don't ask, don't teII, fudge-packer. 不要問，不要講，軟包
Danni, isn't Lia coming to cIass today? Danni，Lia今天不來上課嗎？
- You know what? I haven't seen her aII day. -你知道什麼？我已經一整天沒有見到她了 - I don't want to be rude or anything, 我不想讓人覺得我很沒有禮貌
it just seems Iike maybe her and I shouId be Iab partners 我只是覺得我們或許可以成為實驗搭檔
'cause I think we have a IittIe more in common and... 可能我們會有更多的共同點和.....
- Hi, excuse me. -抱歉 - WaIk away. 走開
- Hi. -嗨 - That neckIace. Where did you get that? -你是在哪裡得到這條項鍊的？
This? My father gave it to me this morning. 這條？我爸爸今天早上給我的
Your father? 你父親？
He's the dean.He's aIways giving me jeweIry. 他是學院院長，他經常給我寶石
I have no idea where he get it aII. 我不知道他從哪里弄來的
How can you deny that this man was kiIIed by vampires? 你怎麼就可以否認這個人是被吸血鬼殺死的？
He was drained of bIood through these two hoIes in his neck. 他的血液從脖子上的兩個孔流出
I'm sure there's a rationaI expIanation. 我相信會有更合理的解釋
Maybe he feII off his cart and Ianded on two IittIe spikes 也許他從車上掉下來，剛好落到兩個長釘上
and aII his bIood just Ieaked out. 然後血液就流出來了
Whether you acknowIedge that he was kiIIed by a vampire or not, 不管你的學識是否可以辨認出他是被吸血鬼殺死的
you must aIIow me to drive a wooden stake through his heart, 你必須允許我用十字架穿刺他的心臟
cut off his head and Iimbs, burn them, 切掉他頭和四肢，並燒掉
and bury them separateIy on consecrated ground. 而且必須分開在祭祀的廣場上燒掉
I wiII do what I aIways do 我會像往常一樣來處理這件事
when one of my empIoyees is mysteriousIy kiIIed, 當我的雇員離奇死亡時
send his corpse back to his hometown and have his famiIy do with it what they Iike. 我會把他的屍體送回故鄉，交由家人處理
This conversation is over! 談話結束！
So you reaIIy think Dean FIoca kidnapped Lia? 你認為Dean FIoca綁架了Lia？
He gave her neckIace to Draguta. 他把Lia的項鍊給了Draguta
- Something weird is going on, trust me. -古怪的事還會繼續發生，相信我 - Wait. Come on, come on. -等一下，過來，過來
I wiII bury you, my friend. 我會把你埋葬掉的，我的朋友
Maybe he's hiding a reindeer back here. 也許他只是在那裡藏了一頭馴鹿而已
HoIy skuIIs, Batman？ 這麼多頭骨，蝙蝠俠？
Okay, where'd he go? 他到哪裡去了？
Do you think he knows we were foIIowing him? 你不認為他已經知道我們在跟蹤他嗎？
We need to think creativeIy. 我們應該創造性的思考一下
Nice. Wang knows. It's gonna heIp. 太棒了，Wang知道怎樣做，這肯定會有幫助的
Okay. We gotta think, think, think. 好了，讓我們來想，想一想
Think, think, think. 想一想 想一想 想一想
Think, think, think. Think, think, think. 想一想 想一想 想一想 想一想 想一想
Hey, guys, check this out. 嘿，夥計，檢查一下這裡
Sweet! 酷啊！
Secret Iab. DoubIe sweet! 秘密實驗室，雙重驚喜
- I'm so sorry. -我很抱歉 - I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. -我甚至都沒有機會說再見
Guys? 各位
- What happened to you? -你怎麼了？ - I don't know. I just woke up. -我不知道，我剛醒來
Wait, don't Ieave me. Don't... 等一下，別丟下我，別.....
I'm sorry. I couIdn't resist. 很抱歉，我真的很喜歡這個
I use the castIe freak costume to pIay on the superstitions of the viIIagers. 我用這些很奇怪的戲服在學校裡作怪
Good to see you're stiII aIive. 很高興見到你還活著
Thanks to your vaIuabIe contributions, 多謝你的珍貴捐贈
I have finaIIy compIeted a repIacement 我終於完成了一項移植手術
hump-free body for my beautifuI daughter. 送給我的女兒一個沒有駝背的身體
- That's me! -那是我 - WeII, it's your torso. -是你的軀幹而已
Very nice. Yes. 非常漂亮
But I don't know about that tattoo. But Draguta wiII probabIy Iike it. 我不太理解那個紋身，或許Draguta會喜歡它
- Young peopIe these days. -時下這些年輕人啊 - I don't understand. How am I stiII aIive? -我不理解，我為什麼還活著？
I needed to make sure that my head dispIacement procedure 我得確保我的頭部移植手術
wouId be safe for my daughter. 對我女兒來說也是安全的
You can stay aIive Iike this for 48 hours or so without reattachment. 你可以像這樣沒有附著物活48小時
I must go. I wiII see you tomorrow night. 我必須走了，明晚再來看你
I'm giving Draguta her present before the baII. 我要在舞會之前送給Draguta一件禮物
Very exciting. 多令人期待啊
What happened? What'd I miss? 發生什麼了，我錯過好戲了嗎？
- Hey, Rusty. -嗨Rusty - Hey, Mike. -嗨，Mike
Hey, I'm gonna need that EngIish-Romanian dictionary back from you 我要把那本英語-羅馬尼亞語詞典拿走
since you betrayed my most horribIe secret. 因為你說出了我最恐怖的秘密
You started it. 是你挑的頭
WeII, it's too bad for you, reaIIy, since I was gonna give you this extra invitation 我早就想給你這個今晚狂歡之夜的邀請
to the orgy tonight, but now... 但它現在好像有點多餘了
- Like a reaI orgy? -是真正的狂歡之夜 - Yeah. ApparentIy they're big in Romania. -是，在羅馬尼亞這已經是很大型的了
- You gotta give me that invite, dude. -夥計你應該把邀請給我的 - What's in it for me? -那我怎麼辦？
WeII, I don't know. I... What is this? 嗯，我不知道...這是什麼？
- I think this is, Iike, 10 bucks. -我想這是10鎊 - Nah.
Okay, but... 好吧，但是...
- How about my white specs? -我的白色眼鏡怎麼樣？ - Yeah? -行嗎？
I think you shouId try them on. 我認為你應該帶上它
- Give them to me. -把它給我戴上 - Okay. Yeah. You Iook fantastic. -不錯，你看起來真迷人
AII right. Okay, we got a deaI. 好，成交
- But here's the thing. This is a theme orgy. -但要注意的是，這是一個主題狂歡 - Theme. -主題
You gotta dress up Iike a vampire. It's reaI hush-hush. -你要穿的像一個吸血鬼，這是秘密
Don't say anything about it to anybody. 不要跟任何人說起這件事
When you get there, just start taking your cIothes off and getting freaky. 你到的時候，只要脫掉衣服，就可以放肆狂歡了
Yeah! 太棒了
I stiII don't get it. 我還是搞不明白
- How are you not dead? -你怎麼沒有死？ - How shouId I know? Stop turning me. -我怎麼會知道，不要再轉我了
Okay! God. 好吧
Pete, I want you to know this is aII your fauIt. Pete，我要你知道，這一切都是你的錯
If it wasn't for you, I wouId stiII have a body. 要不是因為你，我還會有一個完整身體
Okay. 好吧
If you weren't such a stick in the butt and had come with us, 如果你不是那麼倔強，而是跟我們一起出去
you'd stiII have a body. 你還是會有一個身體的
Besides, we actuaIIy had a reaIIy good time. 再說，我們的確度過了一段不錯的時光
Speaking of which, your sister and I want to teII you something. 不管怎麼說，我和你姐姐還是有些事要跟你講
- No, we don't. -不，我們沒有 - Yes, we do. -我們有
- No, we don't. -不，沒有 - Lia, -Lia
- Danni and I are... Danni和我... - Can I taIk to you for a second? -我能和你談一會嗎？
What are you doing? I thought you said you wanted to teII her. 你在幹嘛？我以為你想要告訴她的
Not right now. She's a head. Besides, we were reaIIy drunk that night. 不是現在，她現在只有一個頭，再說，我們那晚真的喝多了
- Yeah, but... -是，但是..... - Guys, what's going on? -我說，到底怎麼了？
- Nothing. -沒事 - Nothing. -沒事
Listen, we need to caII the cops or an ambuIance. We gotta do something. 聽著，我們要去叫員警或者救護車，我們必須做些什麼
Yeah, but Dean FIoca said I couId onIy stay Iike this for 48 hours. 是，但Dean FIoca說我只能像這樣活48小時
If the cops come and take him, what happens to me? 如果員警來把他帶走了，我怎麼辦？
You guys, we need to force him to put me back together. 我們要強迫他把我重新裝起來
I mean it. This is serious, guys. 我是認真的
ActuaIIy, I've been Iooking through FIoca's notes and shit, 剛才我把FIoca的手術筆記和摘要看了一遍
and I'm fairIy sort of confident that I can reattach your head to this Franken-body. 我有相當的把握把你的頭和身體重新接起來
- You're gonna put her head on that thing? -你要把她的頭安到那玩意上？ - Dude, do you reaIIy think you can do that? -夥計，你確認你可以？
I was pre-med before I changed to music appreciation. 在我轉學音樂欣賞之前我可是醫學專業的
And after aII the years of pIaying videogames, 玩了這麼多年的遊戲機
these hands have been fine-tuned... 我的手已經變得相當靈活
- Wang, Wang, Wang. -Wang，Wang，Wang. - What? What's going on? -怎麼了，有疑問嗎？
- You gotta stop moving. -停，別動 - What... -你說什麼...
You have this whoIe thing... 你把這整件事.....
Stop. Stop moving, pIease. 停，求你別再轉了
- Guess what? -快點說怎麼了？ - What? -什麼？
- I'm reaIIy high. -我現在太興奮了 - Okay. I understand that, Wang. -是的，我理解你
But you have thread... 但是你纏上了....
- Danni? -Danni？ - HeIp! -快來幫忙！
- A IittIe heIp, pIease? Thank you. -拜託幫下忙 - Wait, you attach... No. One, two... -抓住你了，好，一，二，起
Okay. So if we come around... 如果我們這樣繞一下的話...
- No. -不 - Okay. Okay. -好，好
See? Everything's fine. 看到了？一切都很好
Why wouId anyone stitch together a whoIe body with one Iong thread? 怎麼會有人只用一根線去縫整個身體？
I mean, seriousIy. 我感覺，這太糟了
I think I can fix it. 我想我可以把它修復
And I was Iooking at that vampire, you know? And he knew he was gonna die. 我盯著那個吸血鬼，從他的眼睛裡
I couId see it in his eyes. You know what he did? 我看到了絕望，你們知道他最後怎樣做的嗎？
He just gave up 'cause I'm so badass. 他放棄掙扎了，因為我太厲害了
- It's so scary. -這也太恐怖了 - Yeah. -是啊
You know, pretty much the onIy thing you can do 要想保證自己不受吸血鬼的侵犯，唯一也是最好的方法
to keep yourseIf safe is probabIy have oId CIiffy the Vampire SIayer around. 就是讓我這個吸血鬼獵手呆在你們身邊
- Are you a vampire hunter? -你是一名吸血鬼獵手？ - Yeah, baby. What's it to you? -是的，你有何想法？
- Come with me. -跟我來 - AII right. See you girIs Iater. -好的，美女們待會見
Rusty!Are you going to the vampire party, too? Rusty！你也準備去吸血鬼舞會？
- You heard about that? -你知道這件事？ - Yeah. -是的
Newmar and I are going, if he ever shows up. 一旦Newmar準備好，我們就一起去
That book I gave him reaIIy must have opened up some doors. 看來我給他的那本書真讓他開竅了
- I shouId be going. -我要走了 - I'II see you tonight. I just might bite you. -今晚見，小心我咬你啊
Oh, man! -太有趣了
- So, do you have any of your tooIs with you? -你有自己的裝備嗎？ - What, Iike whips and handcuffs? -像鞭子和手銬那一類嗎？
- Yes. And stakes and hoIy water. -是的，還有十字架和聖水 - Vampire stuff. Yeah, gotcha. -不就是吸血鬼的那幾樣，我瞭解
One of these garIic-fiIIed darts can weaken and confuse any vampire. 只要一支像這樣的大蒜飛鏢就可以搞定任何吸血鬼
I come from a Iong Iine of vampire hunters. 我已經做吸血鬼獵手很多年
- How did you get started? -你為什麼會做這行？ - WeII, vampires, they kiIIed my parents. -吸血鬼殺害了我的雙親
It's a pretty sore subject. I'd rather not taIk about it. 我現在不想去談這些傷心事
But, you know, it's nice to be heId. It heIps with the pain. 避開這些傷心事會使人忘記悲傷
- What is this? -你這是幹什麼？ - Are you ready for some hunting? -準備好開始獵殺了嗎？
- Hey, dude. -嗨，哥們 - What's up? -有事？
Listen, man. Don't be offended by this, 額，你先聽我說..
- but I'm Iooking for... -我想要... - Drugs? -“藥”？
Yeah, yeah. Because I'm pIanning on having sex 對的，我要去享受一下性福
- with a Iot of chicks tonight. -跟超多的女孩在一起 - Nice. -不錯嘛
So, I was hoping to get my hands on some boner piIIs. 所以我想要一些強力藥片
- The magic beans? -神奇大力丸？ - Yeah. -是的
- WeII, you, my friend, are in Iuck. -做我的朋友，你可真幸運 - Nice. -太棒了
Hey, Viagra's the IittIe bIue diamonds. 忘說了，藍色藥片才是偉哥
- Shit. -靠 - Wait a minute. -等一下
Wait, did you just take drugs and you didn't know what they were? 你連它們是什麼都不知道就全吃了？
- WeII, which ones did I take? -我吃的是哪一種？ - Let's see. WeII, this is ecstasy, -讓我瞧瞧，這是搖頭丸
and this is a horse tranquiIizer, that's speed, and this is a Tic Tac, and... 這是給馬吃的鎮靜劑，這是顆糖果
- That's not a Tic Tac. -哦，這可不是糖果 - WeII, where are aII the boner piIIs? -你的強力藥片哪去了？
I gave my Iast two away yesterday. Sorry. 很抱歉，昨天我把最後兩片都吃了
God! You totaIIy bIow as a drug deaIer. 靠，你就是一個賣藥的騙子
You shouId probabIy get your stomach pumped. 你最好去做一個洗胃
I don't have time for that. 來不及了
Hi, do you have any books on reversing spIit personaIities? 嗨，這裡有教人如何去諷刺別人的書嗎？
Stephania, my Iove. Stephania我的愛人
The DeviI's Moon is out.The vampires are sure to make their move. 惡魔之月已經升起，吸血鬼肯定會有所行動
WeII, isn't it customary for vampire sIayers to do a bit of the in and out, in and out 我想，作為吸血鬼獵手，在行動之前
before we go into battIe, you know? 我們是不是應該來點小樂趣
Wit Iike a rapier even in the face of horribIe danger. 面對危險你還可以如此風趣
I respect that. But we'II cover more ground if we spIit up. 分頭行動會使我們佔據更多的優勢
- Here's your waIkie. -這是你的對講機 - SpIit up? -分頭行動？
But how am I gonna get some action if we spIit up? 我們如果分開的話還怎麼幹事啊？
There wiII be pIenty of action tonight. I wiII caII you when the time comes. 今晚我們的確會有很多事要幹，到時我會呼叫你的
Man. This girI's reaIIy into her roIe-pIay. 天啊，她完全進入扮演的角色了
Vampire orgy, here I come. Room 210. No. Where the heII's this party? 吸血鬼舞會我來啦 210房間 舞會到底在哪裡啊
Room 210. Room 210. 210房間 210房間
- How Iong have I been trapped? -我被囚禁多久了？ - Stephania. - Stephania
Five hundred years.But now we can be together again. 500年了，我們終於又在一起了
That jerk! 那個混蛋！
Rusty knew the Codex wouId give her a spIit personaIity Rusty知道這本書會把她變得人格分裂
so he couId steaI her away from me. 這樣他就可以把她從我身邊奪走
No way. 沒門
That's my girIfriend, man! We need to taIk! 這是我的女朋友，我們必須談一下
You'II be aII right. 你會沒事的
Motherfucker! Who the fuck gives somebody a reaI crossbow? 操他媽，竟然給我一把真的十字弓
CIiff, I need you. I'm in the East Wing haIIway. Cliff，我需要援助，我在到東大廳的道上
CIiff, are you there? Cliff，你在嗎？
I'm gonna be right there! Just hoId on. I'm deaIing with some vampires. 堅持住，我馬上就到，我正在解決一些吸血鬼
I cannot wait any longer. 時間不多了
God. Somebody fucking heIp me! 天啊！誰他媽來幫我一把！
I am onIy free from this box during the DeviI's Moon... 我只有在惡魔之月升起時才可以從音樂盒獲得自由
- HoIy water, Radu. -這是聖水，Radu - Attack! -進攻！
Radu?
What happened? 發生什麼了？
...the fuck did you have to get yourseIf into this? 我怎麼會把自己弄成這樣？
- Hey! -嗨 - Hey! You gotta come and heIp me, man. -嘿，你得過來幫我一把
My fucking Ieg's got a fucking arrow stuck in it. 我的腿被他媽的箭射中了
- Man, you got an arrow stuck in your Ieg. -你的腿上插了一支箭呀 - What are you... Fuck you! -你在幹嘛....去你媽的
- Fucking idiot! -大傻逼！ - Oh, man. -太牛了
You gotta puII the fucking thing out or something. 你得把箭拔出來
No, wait, wait, wait. Have you ever done this before? 停，等等，等等，你以前幹過這個嗎？
No, wait. Just do it quick and, Iike, gentIe. 等一下，必須又快又穩的拔出來
Fuck! 操！
- Great. -不錯嘛 - Put it back in! Put the fucking thing back in. -把它插回去！快，插回去！
Look at me. Put it the fuck back in! 你他媽的快點插回去
Fuck!Not there, you moron! In the same pIace! 操，不是那裡，你個傻逼，得插在原來的地方
Oh, my God. Radu is torturing CIiff. 我的天，Radu在襲擊Cliff
HeIp me appIy pressure, man. No, on the wound, you moron! 快幫我按一下，不，是按傷口，混蛋
- What the fuck are you thinking? -你他媽腦子裡在想什麼？ - You got an arrow stuck in your Ieg. -你腿上插著一支箭啊
WouId you stop touching me?Leave me the fuck aIone. 你他媽能不能別碰我，讓我單獨待會
Somebody's shooting you with darts, man. 哥們，有人在用飛鏢射你
He is so strong.These darts have hardIy any effect. 他太強壯了，這些飛鏢竟然沒有什麼作用
How does it feeI now to get fucking stabbed? 被插的感覺怎樣？
I have to get cIoser. 我必須靠近一點
There you are! Come with me. 原來你在這裡，跟我來
Where the fuck are you going? 你個混蛋去哪裡？
There you are, man. FinaIIy.The vampire girIs are waiting for you. 你可來了，吸血鬼女郎可都在等你呢
Come on, dude. Watch your head. 哥們來，小心頭
Here, have some bIood. 來，喝點血
- This is not bIood. -這不是血 - Now, just remember what I toId you. -現在，記住我所告訴你的
Just puII down your pants and these chicks wiII go bonkers for you. 只要脫光衣服，這些就妞會蜂擁向你的
Go get them, tiger. 去捕食吧，小老虎
I saw that beast torturing you.Are you aII right? 我看你怪物在襲擊你，你還好嗎？
Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.It's just a fIesh wound. 還好，我還好，只不過是一些小傷口而已
Then I must return to the hunt. 我必須回到我的位置
AII right. You go do that. KiII some vampires. AII right. 好，你去吧，多殺點吸血鬼，好吧
Hey, caII me a nurse whiIe you're at it. 嘿，方便的話替我叫聲護士
- Okay. You're a nurse. -沒問題，護士 - Fucking Christ. -去他媽的
- I don't feeI so good. -我感覺不太好 - Stay stiII, my Iord. -站好了，我的王
Out. Here. 都拔出來了
Get to the crypt.I wiII take care of Van SIoan, my Iove. 親愛的到地下室去，我會解決Van SIoan的
- Rusty? -Rusty - You just made out with me. -你剛才和我接吻了
Awesome. 酷斃了
Dear 親愛的
friend, 朋友
I hope you enjoy 我希望你
having sex with my girIfriend. 享受和我女朋友發生關係
Yours... No. 你的...算了
SincereIy, Newmar. 真誠地，Newmar
I feeI better aIready. 感覺好多了
I just hope Rusty can read the biting sarcasm. 我希望Rusty可以讀一下這個反諷的紙條
- Newmar! -Newmar！ - You're back! -你回來了！
I was in my room and then I was gone and then I was in the haIIway kissing Rusty 我本來在自己房間裡，但我竟然出現在外邊，還親了Rusty
and then... And then... 然後...然後....
- Something weird is happening to me. -一些古怪的事發生在我身上 - Pumpkin. It's okay. -Pumpkin,不會有事的
It's okay, aII right? I know aII about it.It's Rusty. 不會有事的，我都瞭解，是Rusty的錯
And I'm just about to teach him a thing or two about a thing or two. 我正準備去給他上一課
- No, don't Ieave me! -不，別離開我 - Okay. Okay. -好的，好的
I thought you said he was going to do something reaIIy embarrassing. 你不是說他會幹一些很傻逼的事嗎？
I don't know. He usuaIIy does. 我不知道，他以前是那樣的啊
Stop the party!Dean FIoca is coming to bust us. 派對結束，Dean FIoca要來找我們麻煩了
We gotta go. 我們快點走
Where are you, beast? Where are you? 你在哪裡，畜生，在哪裡？
FooIish students. 白癡學生
Yes, pIease! Hit me! 各位，向我開火吧
Die, vampire! 去死吧，吸血鬼！
He must die! 他必須死！
This young man happens to be my future son-in-Iaw! 這個小夥子要成為我的女婿
I never knew that your obsession with vampires wouId go this far. 你對吸血鬼的憤怒竟然會驅使你幹出這樣的事
You're fired! 你被開除了
- FooIs! -蠢貨 - Get her, now! -抓住她，馬上！
Now! Get Van SIoan now. Now! 馬上抓住Van SIoan
- Are you aII right, son? -孩子感覺還好吧 - I'm deIicious. -美味可口
- Let's get you to bedroom, Scott. -讓我帶你去臥室，Scott - Okay. -好的
This is actuaIIy kind of fascinating. FIoca might be insane, but he is a genius. 這真不可思議，FIoca或許是瘋了，但他的確是個天才
God! 我的天！
This is so gross, man. It's fuII! 這太噁心了，已經滿了
- Okay. Stop puking. -好了，別再吐了 - Okay, this is gonna overfIow. -好，這都快溢出來了
You guys aren't getting anywhere. Just Iet Wang do it aIone. 你們什麼忙都幫不上，讓Wang自己專心工作吧
What are you taIking about?I'm doing a great job. 你說什麼呢，我的工作可不簡單
I'm starving. 我餓了
Anybody craving sheep testicIe stuffed goat baIIs right now? 有人想要吃用綿羊和山羊睾丸混合做的點心嗎？
My coffin. 我的棺材
- Ready? -準備好了嗎？ - Yeah. -是的
AII right. Let's go. 好，把它弄出去
We are gathered here to remember... 我們聚集在這裡緬懷..... Motherfucking bastard. 他媽的混蛋
...our dear friend. ...我們的好朋友
Though he may be gone... 雖然他... God damn it, Iying son of Satan. 操上帝的蛋去吧
...in spirit, he shaII be with us forever. 的靈魂已經離去，但是他永遠與我們同在
- You, chiId, give me your vehicIe. -小孩，把你的自行車給我 - No! -不！
- I command you. -我命令你 - No! -不！
- Yes. You wiII give it to me. -你必須把它給我 - No! Go away! -不，滾一邊去
ChiId! 小崽子
Ready for another round, you staIIion? 想再來一次嗎，你真是一匹種馬
God. 我的天
- What happened Iast night? -昨晚發生什麼了？ - We had sex! We had Iots of it. -我們做愛，很多狠多次
The way you stroke my hump, 你撫摸我駝背的感覺
- it drives me wiId. -太讓我瘋狂了 - God! -上帝！
I have never been with a boy that wasn't crying before. 我從來沒有遇到過還沒有被嚇哭的男孩
Draguta?
This isn't working out, you and me. 你和我是不會有結果的
- What are you saying? -你說什麼？ - You up, Draguta? -你起床了？Draguta?
Daddy? 爸爸？
What is this? 這是怎麼回事？
Rusty, I find you here in the bedroom of my onIy daughter, with no pants? Rusty，我看到你出現在我唯一的女兒的房間裡，連褲子都沒有穿
I'm so happy! 我太高興了！
No, Daddy! 不，爸爸
I think Rusty just broke up with me. 我想Rusty剛才把我甩了
- Is that true? -是真的嗎？ - No. That's just siIIy taIk. -不，剛才是說著玩的
- But you just said that... -但是你說... - No, I did not. I was kidding, pooky. -不，沒有，我剛才是開玩笑的，小可愛
See. He wouIdn't hurt you, sweetie. 看到了嗎寶貝，他不會傷害你的
Now, Rusty, you know that the baII is tonight. Rusty，舞會今晚就要開場了
You'II be taking my daughter. 你將帶我女兒一同前去
WeII, that,or be horribIy tortured to death, right? 額，好的，不然我會死的很慘，對嗎？
AII right, Iet me just go to the bathroom. 稍等，我去一下洗手間
Wonder what the mom Iooks Iike. 我真好奇，她媽媽長什麼樣
Rusty?
Rusty? Hey!
I knew it!I knew he was gonna break up with me. 我就知道，我就知道他想把我甩了
Don't you worry about him, Draguta. 不要理他，Draguta
I was waiting to surprise you at dinner.But I... WeII... 我本想在晚飯時給你一個驚喜，我...
Tonight I am giving you your big present. 今晚我要送你一份超級禮物
- You found a way to remove my hump? -你找到移除我駝背的方法了？ - In a manner of speaking. -你可以這樣理解
Lock the door behind me. 我出去後把門鎖上
AII right. No one hooks up with my girI without getting a piece of my mind! 沒有我的允許，任何人都不會接觸到你
Aliens Invaded My Head? 外星人入侵了我的大腦？
I'm being abducted by aIiens! 我竟然被外星人綁架了！
Hey there, good friend. 嘿，哥們，你在這裡啊
So, teII me, oId buddy, oId paI. Hook up with anyone interesting Iast night? 告訴我，老朋友，昨晚過的愉快嗎？
- Oh, boy. -別提了 - So you admit it! -這麼說你承認了！
Look, if you couId not teII anyone, that wouId be awesome 嗨，請你不要把這事告訴其他人
because I have a reputation to keep up, 我得保住自己的名譽
and I don't want peopIe knowing that I boned such a freak show. 我不想讓別人知道我參加了這樣一個奇怪的聚會
Read this and weep. 讀完這個，就去哭吧
Okay. 放鬆
My beautifuI music box. It'II keep me safe. 漂亮的音樂盒，我會保護你的
I am trapped in the body of an idiot! 我竟然被困在一個白癡的體內
I must find Radu. 我必須找到Radu
Radu! Radu!
I shouId have never Ieft you with that woman's poison inside you. 你體內還有那個女人的毒藥，我不該離開你的
I must get you out of the sunIight. 我得讓你遠離陽光
Darkness wiII soon be here, my Iove. 黑暗就在前方，我的愛人
Hey, Lynne. What you got in the sack there? 嗨，Lynne，麻袋裡裝的什麼玩意?
Mind your own business, cretin. 管好你自己的事，白癡
Okay. I wiII. 好，我會的
- Is this heaven? -這裡是天堂？ - His voice is strange. -他的聲音很奇怪
Wait a second.Is this one of those vampire things? 等一下，吸血鬼應該是這樣的？
- Of course we are vampires, my Iord. -吸血鬼當然是這樣的，我的王 - AII right! -太好了！
I didn't miss it.Thank you, thank you very much. 我還沒有錯過，太感謝你們了
AII right, Iet's get this thing... Wait a sec. 讓我們開始吧...稍等...
''Dear friend, I hope you enjoy having sex with my girIfriend. SincereIy, Newmar. '' 親愛的朋友，我希望你享受和我女朋友發生關係， 真誠的，Newmar
The preparations are compIete. 準備工作已經完成
Let us begin the rituaI of sexuaI ecstasy. 讓我們進行狂亂的性愛儀式吧
Oh, boy. 我的天
What happens in Romania, stays in Romania. 身在羅馬尼亞，愛在羅馬尼亞
Mistress, he's not making sense. 女主人，他好像完全沒有感覺
My Iove, you are stiII weak.Nourishment for the master. 我的愛人，你還很虛弱，為主人奉上食物
Once you have eaten,we wiII begin the ceremony 你一吃完，我們就開始儀式
that wiII free me from the curse of this dreaded box. 這將把我從這個受詛咒的盒子裡釋放出來
We wiII make Iove that wiII trembIe the ground around us. 我們做愛時大地都要為之顫動
- Lynne. -Lynne - Yes. -是
We must tear out the heart of this body 我們必須把這顆心從這個身體裡取出來
and pIunge it into the bones of my forsaken corpse. 把它放進我那遺棄多年的屍骨裡
You girIs reaIIy are into this. 這裡的女孩真的很投入啊
- Your bIood, my Iord. Fresh and warm. -你的血，我的王，新鮮而且溫暖 - Right. -沒錯
BIood. CooI. 血，酷
- What the... -這是.... - What is wrong, Radu? -怎麼了，Radu？
The boy is empty, my Iord. 那個男孩已經空了，我的王
Shit. So, me... 靠，我....
Radu, I'm Iike a reaI person, or a vampire? Radu,我看起來是像一個人還是吸血鬼？
ProbabIy around here somewhere. 可能在這附近...
What is it, my Iove? 有什麼事嗎,我的愛人？
Nothing. Nothing at aII. 沒事，沒事
I am Radu the Vampire. 我是吸血鬼Radu
Then Iet us begin the rituaI. 讓我們開始儀式吧
Yes. Yes. Let us go down there. And we wiII figure everything out. 沒錯，我們到下邊去，這樣一切就都明白了
My Iord, I have been waiting so many years trapped in this horrid box. 我的王，我已經在這個音樂盒裡囚禁了這麼多年
Yes. Yes, you have.Let me ask you a question, though. 是的，沒錯，我有一個問題
Can we do this without tearing out your heart? 我們能不把心臟掏出來嗎？
Of course not, my Iord. It is the onIy way to break the curse. 當然不行，我的王，這是打破詛咒的唯一方法
Yeah. 是的
And the body who you're in right now, what happens to her? 之後你現在的身體會發生什麼？
The girI it beIongs to wiII die.She was an imbeciIe anyway. 她將會死，反正她也是個低能兒
HoId this for a moment, my Iord. Do not Iet it cIose. 拿著這個，我的王，不要讓它合上
Rusty?
- What's going on? -這是怎麼了 - Lynne!
- What are you doing? -你在幹嘛？
That's a crypt up there. 上邊是間地下室
- You're one of the aIiens! -你是外星人！ - No, no, no, Lynne. -不，不，不，Lynne
- You're one of... Unhand me, you aIien! -你是..放開我，外星人！ - No, I'm not, Lynne. -不，我不是，Lynne
- Let me go! Let me go! -讓我走！讓我走！ - I'm not... -我不是...
What? 怎麼了？
- Come with me, my Iord. -跟我來，我的王 - Come with me! -跟我來
- Come, we'II have sexuaI ecstasy. -我們還要進行性愛儀式 - Come with me. -你跟我來
We'II have sexuaI ecstasy, my Iord! 我們要進行性愛儀式，我的王！
- You're an aIien! -你是個外星人 - Don't... -別....
Rusty, stop it! Put me down, you pervert! Rusty,停下來，把我放下來，你個變態
If I put you down, they're gonna kiII you. 如果我把你放下來，她們會殺了你的
I'II probabIy have to throw this fucking box in a voIcano or something. 我或許應該把這該死的盒子扔進火山或者其他什麼地方
I am not gonna get on your spaceship, Rusty! 我是不會進你的太空飛船的Rusty！
WouId you shut up?There's no such thing as aIiens! 你能閉嘴嗎！根本沒有外星人！
It's vampires, you idiot! 是吸血鬼，白癡
I need bIood. 我要血
Need bIood. 血
They think I'm this Radu guy, 她們以為我是Radu
and I guess they think that you're his girIfriend. 她們還認為你是Ruda的女朋友
Let me go, you aIien Rusty! 讓我走，外星人Rusty！
Lynne, you have got to caIm down, otherwise we're both gonna be kiIIed! 冷靜點Lynne，不然我們都會死的
Are you okay? 你還好嗎？
I can see that sarcasm's Iost on you, Rusty. 你知道你有多諷刺嗎？
I hope I made myseIf cIear.Stay away from my girIfriend! 趁我還清醒，離我女朋友遠一點
Everybody's crazy.You guys are on your own. 所有人都瘋了，你們什麼都不知道
Okay, fuck. Guys, FIoca and Draguta wiII be here any second. 哦，我去，夥計們，FIoca和Draguta隨時都可能回來
WeII, maybe we can staII him. I got an idea.Come on, Iet's go. 或許我們可以阻止他，我有主意了，跟我來
Wait, wait, wait!Why does she get to go? I wanna go. 等一下，她想幹什麼？我要離開這裡
Sure, just foIIow me. Wait. You're a head. 當然可以，跟著我，哦，你只是個頭而已
Okay, he's in there. So what's your pIan? 他在那裡，你的計畫是什麼？
A vase? 一個花瓶？
You're gonna hit him over the head with a vase? 你想用花瓶擊打他的頭部？
- Yeah. -對 - Okay. -好吧
You're Iooking reaIIy sexy over there. 你站在那裡看起來真性感
Stay focused. 集中注意力
Why don't you come over here and give me a good Iuck kiss, then? 你為什麼不過來給我一個幸運之吻？
Okay. 好吧
- This is wrong. -這是不對的 - It is so wrong. Yeah. -這當然不對
- Done. -完工 - FinaIIy. God. -總算完了
Now I just need to prep for surgery and then we can recapitate your head. 現在我只需要做點手術準備，就可以移植你的頭了
- Aren't you stoned enough? -你還沒吸夠嗎？ - Never! -永不滿足！
Evasive maneuver! 逃跑時間！
Big night tonight. 多美好的夜晚
I created a whoIe new body for you. 我為你創造了一個新的身體
What... HoId it right there! 什麼...呆在那裡別動！
Security. 保安部
I need you to apprehend a young Asian maIe accompanied by a severed femaIe head. 我要你們逮捕一個攜帶女性頭顱的亞洲男青年
And don't Iisten to anything the head says.It's a Iiar. 不要相信那個頭所說的話，它是個騙子
- Oh, my God, it reeks in here. I can't breathe. -我的天的，這裡太臭了，我快窒息了 - Shut up. You're gonna get us busted. -閉嘴，不然我們會被你害死的
I don't understand. ExactIy what are we Iooking for? 我不明白我們到底要找什麼東西
I toId you, an Asian maIe carrying a severed head. 都說了是一個亞洲青年和一個頭
We're in troubIe! 我們麻煩大了
Okay. Here we go. No, no, move to the right. 好，我們走，不，不，走右邊
No, no, we're stiII...Left. Left, Ieft, Ieft. Straight. 不，不， 我們還...左，左，直走
AII right, this wiII work. Just be naturaI. 好，效果不錯，自然一點
Your hair is in my mouth. 你頭髮塞我嘴裡了
- Stop breathing on my neck. -不要往我脖子上呼氣 - I can't heIp it! -我怎麼辦的到！
- Shut up and stop taIking, idiot. -閉嘴別說話，白癡 - Lia? -Lia？
Brady. You're right here. Brady，你在這裡啊
On my right. 在我左邊
Yes, I am. Are you going to the baII? 是的，你要去舞會嗎？
ActuaIIy, I'm... I'm not gonna go. 其實，我...我不打算去
- Pete stood me up. -Pete讓我很生氣 - That jerk does not deserve you. -那個白癡根本配不上你
I'II teII you what. I wiII escort you. 我要告訴你的是，我將要保護你
- No, I don't think... No. -不，我不認為...不 - FoIIow me, madame. -跟我來，女士
HeIIo, Iadies. Care to dance? 嗨女士們，跳舞嗎？
Aren't you that guy who kissed another guy? 你不是和男孩親熱的那傢伙嗎？
Damn it! I thought he was a chick. 該死，都說了我原以為他是女孩
He's coming. 他過來了
- Your drink, mademoiselle. -你的飲料，小姐 - Thanks. -多謝
- You know, maybe I'm not that thirsty. -或許我還不是那麼渴 - Yeah. I don't usuaIIy drink that much either. -是啊，我也不經常喝水的
- Quite the dance, huh? -舞會不錯，是嗎？ - Excuse me. -抱歉
- I guess you were thirsty. -我猜你還是渴了 - Guess I was. -你猜對了
- Those Iook a Iot Iike Wang's shoes. -著看起來像是Wang的鞋子 - Yeah. I borrowed them from Wang. -對，我從Wang那裡借來的
I mean, since he has such great fashion sense since he's so gay. 我的意思是，他很時尚而且是同性戀
That expIains his stupid haircut, huh? 這剛好可以解釋為什麼他髮型那麼傻
Stop it. Stop. 停，停
- Stop. -停 - Are you okay? -你還好吧？
- I'm fine. Yeah. Hey, do you wanna dance? 沒事，你想跳舞嗎？ - Yes. -是的
- Do you wanna dirty dance? -你想要跳撫摸舞嗎 - Yes. -是的
I want you to touch me... 我希望你碰我的....
I shouId not be even saying that. 或許我不應該這樣說
But I want you to grab my ass and take fuII advantage of me. 但我希望你摸我的屁股，撫摸我全身
- Yes. Let's go. Let's go right now. -好我們馬上開始 - Yeah, Iet's do it. -沒錯，馬上開始
Students and faculty, let's all welcome Draguta Floca to the masquerade ball. 同學們，老師們，讓我們歡迎Draguta Floca光臨舞會
- Maybe we shouId sIow dance. -我們可以跳的慢一點 - To this song? Are you crazy? Come on. -為這首歌？別傻了，瘋狂的跳吧
Wang? Where am I? Wang？我在哪裡？
Jeez. I'm reaIIy sorry about that.Are you okay? 我真的很抱歉，你怎樣？
Guess I don't know my own strength. Come on. Let's go dance. 我都不知道我力氣這麼大，我們繼續跳舞吧
I don't know how FIoca got past us. 我都不知道FIoca是什麼時候從身邊走過的
- Hey, that's Lia. That's her tattoo. -嘿，那是Lia，那是她的紋身 - Okay. -沒錯
Lia. So you did the operation? It worked. Lia，你做完手術了？看來的確有效
Now that you're back to normaI, we can finaIIy teII you the truth. 現在你總算回到正常了，我們要告訴你一些事
- I've been hooking up with your sister. -我跟你姐姐好上了 - Pete! Lia, we've onIy made out, I swear. -Pete！Lia，我發誓，我們只是剛接觸
My boyfriend and my sister? 我男朋友和我姐姐？
- Lia? - Lia?
Excuse us. 打擾了
Pete, you are the worst boyfriend ever! Pete，你是最差勁的男朋友！
And behind my back? 在我背後幹這種事
TechnicaIIy, you didn't have a back at the time, so I... 準確的說，你現在沒有背，所以我....
Are you getting technicaI right now? 你還學會耍花招了？
Forget it.Let me just get you out of the garbage can. 別想那麼多，先讓我把你從垃圾筒里弄出來
You have such a fantastic body.Such soft, girIish hands. 你的身體這麼迷人，這麼柔軟，柔美的手
Let's get naughty, what do you say? 讓我們來輕鬆一下，你認為怎樣？
SmiIe. 微笑
Hey, that guy Iooks just Iike... 嘿，那傢伙看起來像....
Radu!
Wait a minute. I don't have refIection. 不對，我不應該有鏡像的
Master. The ceremony is not compIete. 主人，儀式還沒有完
Yes, but I had very important vampire business to attend to. 是的，但我還有一些很重要的吸血鬼事務要處理
Your onIy business is to die, Radu. 你唯一要處理的事務就是去死，Radu
- We wiII defend you, master. -我們來保護你，主人 - Yes. -很好
Fight her, minions! 打敗她，我的奴僕
Vampire breath! 吸血鬼之息
Have a IittIe stake. 嘗嘗十字架的滋味
Get my point? 直接命中
I don't understand what witchery is this.My Iove. 這到底是什麼巫術？我的愛人
Hey, I toId you to stay away from her,you crazy perv. 嘿，我警告過你離我女朋友遠一點，性變態
You are not gonna steaI my brain, mister. 你沒有機會偷走我的大腦
My Iove, you are not yourseIf.Open the music box. 我的愛人，你還不是你自己，打開音樂盒
Hey, man, back off. 嘿，夥計，滾遠點
I shaII skin you aIive, wheIp. 我應該活剝了你，小崽子
- Get him, sweetie. -親愛的，打敗他 - Watch out! -小心
Not so hard, Rusty. 別這麼認真，Rusty
Pardon me. I'm sorry. 讓開，對不起
Rusty. Fuck! It's just sarcasm! Rusty，該死，只不過是諷刺信而已
What are you doing? 你要幹什麼？
Jeez, where'd you Iearn how to fight Iike this? 上帝，你在哪裡學的這種攻擊招式
I'II never hit you again. 我不想再跟你打了
He's crazy, foIks! 他瘋了！
- Rusty? -Rusty? - Hey... You Iook amazing. -嘿...你看起來真不可思議
- ReaIIy? You think so? -是嗎？你真的這樣認為？ - Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. -是的，是的，我的天
Wait a minute.You ran out on me this morning. 等一下，你今早已經把我甩了
I'm reaIIy, reaIIy, reaIIy sorry about that. I wiII never ever do that again. 我真的非常抱歉，我再也不那樣做了
Not again! 再也不
There you are. 看到你了
- Prepare to meet your end. -準備好受死吧 - Lady, you've gotta beIieve me. -女士，你必須相信我
I am not a vampire. 我不是吸血鬼
- Your Iies won't save you now. -撒謊也救不了你 - Fine! Let's boogie, bitch. -好吧，有種就來吧，婊子
He'II never beat you, baby! 寶貝，他永遠打不過你
His aIien mind power is no match for true Iove! 他的外星腦控制力比不過我們真愛的力量
It's not an aIien, it's a spIit personaIity! 不是外星人，我在跟人打
Rusty?
You can't treat me Iike this! 你不能這樣對我
- Who dares to touch the dark Iord? -竟敢這樣對待黑暗之王 - Lynne, what are you doing? -Lynne，你在幹什麼？
- Stephania. - Stephania - Hey, Ieave her aIone! -嘿，放開她！
- Come! -跟我走！ - That's it! -別這樣
- Van SIoan! - Van SIoan! - I see you've regained your memory. -看來你已經恢復了記憶
- Get off my man. -離我的男人遠點 - Get off me, you crazy woman! -下來，你個瘋女人！
Radu!
- What happened? -怎麼回事？ - Get under here! -快鑽進去！
What? Rusty! You wiII never take her away. 什麼？Rusty！你休想帶她走
What? I'm trying to heIp her. 有沒有搞錯，我是在幫助她
- HeIp her? You... -幫助他？你... - Yeah. -對
That's for sticking your tongue down my throat. 這一下是因為你把舌頭伸進我喉嚨
And that's for betraying your pIanet. 這一下是因為你背叛了地球
Van SIoan!
- I saved your Iife, Rusty. -我要救你。Rusty - My Iove, I have the box. -我的愛人，我拿到了盒子
- He's not yours, whore! -他不是你的，婊子 - SiIence, troII! -閉嘴，白癡！
Lynne!
You said you couId fix it. 你說過你可以修好的
That's impossibIe! 不可能！
I used one giant thread so this wouIdn't happen. 這不可能發生的，我用一種神奇的線把它穿起來的
What are you aII gawking at? 你們在傻看什麼？
What kind of horribIe monster stares at a deformed girI? 只有野獸才會盯著一個畸形的女孩看
What kind of horribIe monster kidnaps and murders his own students? 只有野獸才會綁架和謀殺自己的學生
The kidnappings are the work of the castIe freak. 綁架事件是城堡怪物幹的
- There is no castIe freak. It's you. -根本沒有城堡怪物，都是你 - Absurd. -荒謬
What about me? 你怎麼解釋我？
You stoIe my body to give your daughter a new one. 你偷走我的身體送給你的女兒
Father? Is this true? 父親.這是真的嗎？
- How couId you? -你怎麼能？ - I did it aII for you, Draguta. -我都是為了你，Draguta
I'm so sorry. 我非常抱歉
- Hey. -嘿 - Two Radus? -兩個Radu？
Two Rustys. 是兩個Rusty
You are a handsome feIIow. 你相貌很英俊
- Just wanna teII you that. -我就是想告訴你一下 - Die, imposter. -去死吧，冒牌貨
- You're going to jaiI, Van SIoan. -你要進監獄裡Van SIoan - Pick it up, CIiff. -把它撿起來，Cliff
- Shoot him. -射他 - What? -什麼？
- ShouId we give Rusty a hand? -我們該給Rusty搭把手嗎？ - How about an arm? -一條胳膊怎樣？
It's Radu. Shoot! 那個是Radu，射他！
Hurry! 快！
- Shoot him! -射他！ - AII right, freeze, vampires. -都別動，吸血鬼
- WeII, which one is it? -額，哪個是他？ - That one! -那個!
- Shoot him, he's the vampire. -射他，他是吸血鬼 - No, shoot him. He is the vampire. -不，射他，他才是吸血鬼
- What? No, no. I'm Rusty. -什麼？不，不，我是Rusty - No. I am Crusty. -不，我是Crusty
I don't know which one is which. 我都不知道哪個是哪個了
- Are you a moron? -你是個白癡嗎？ - Shoot! -射擊！
Listen, this is buIIshit!Vampires don't even exist! 聽著，這都是扯淡，根本沒有吸血鬼！
What the fuck? 他媽的怎麼回事？
- Shit. -糟糕 - Radu! -Radu！
No, my Iove. 不，我的愛人
- You! You wiII pay for this! -你，你要為此付出代價！ - I doubt that. -我可不這樣想
Professor? 教授？
- Did it reaIIy happen, Professor CIifton? Clifton教授,這都是真的嗎？ - Of course it did. It's aII here in my book. -當然是，全在我的書裡寫著
You know, they seII them at the Iibrary.You shouId go pick one up. 現在圖書館正在賣，你們應該去買一本
It happened just Iike I wrote about it in Chapter 7. 真實情況就像我在第7章寫的一樣
Hey, vampire. I think it's time me and you had a heart-to-heart. 嘿，吸血鬼，我們應該一對一的決鬥
At Ieast I was defeated by the worId's greatest vampire sIayer. 至少我是被世界上最偉大的吸血鬼獵手打敗的
Yeah. That's how I kiIIed the greatest vampire dude of aII time. 這就是我如何殺死最厲害的吸血鬼
And here's what happened to the rest of the gang. 讓我來告訴你其他人的結局
Lia and Brady fell in love. Now they have the hottest show in Vegas. Lia和Brad相愛了，他們正在舉行在拉斯維加斯最受歡迎的表演
Three, two, one... 三，二，一....
Lia's still a head' but somehow she's still alive. Lia只有一個頭，但她還活著
- Hi, everybody. Thank you so much. -嗨，大家好，謝謝你們 - Thank you. -謝謝
- This is the best magic show I've ever seen. -這是我看過的最神奇的魔術表演 - The IoveIy Lia, everybody. -掌聲送給Lia
I don't beIieve it. How does he do it, Roy? 難以置信，他是怎麼做到的，Roy?
We shaII see, Siegfried. We shaII see. 我們要仔細看著，仔細的看著，Siegfried
Thank you. 多謝
Oh, no. It's a nightmare! 哦，不，這是噩夢而已
Then there's Mike. 這是Mike
Let'sjust say he's still heading down the same path. 我們可以認為他依然走在自己的老路上
Hey, beautifuI, what say we take this party back to my pIace? 美女，把派對搬到我家怎麼樣？
You brought one, too, you naughty girI? 你也準備有一個，真淘氣
''Extra Iarge''? I hope I don't disappoint you. 加大號？希望我不會讓你失望
- You won't be disappointed. -你不會失望的 - So hot. -太辣了
And Wang became a plastic surgeon. Now he's got his own TVshow. Wang成為一個手術師，他正在自己的電視表演上展示自己。
First, we'II discuss what you expect to gain out of cosmetic surgery, 首先我們談論一下你想通過美容手術增大哪個部位
and then I'II expIain to you just how reaIistic those expectations are. 然後我告訴你們如何實現你們所期待的
Here, take a brochure. 先看一下宣傳冊
So, teII me your story. 告訴我你想要的
Come out, werewoIf.I'II put you out of your misery. 滾出來，狼人，我會幫你解除痛苦
WeII, what the...I'm caIIing my attorney, man. 你他媽在搞什麼？我要找我的律師
Hey, I don't think this guy's a werewoIf. I think he's just a hippie. 我不認為這傢伙是狼人，或許他只是個嬉皮士
He's a werewoIf, fooI,and he's ready to attack us. 他是個狼人，白癡，還準備襲擊我們
No justice, no peace! 沒有公正，沒有和平
Dean Floca stitched Draguta back up, and she and Rusty got married. Dean Floca把Dragura又縫合好了，而且她和Rusty還結了婚
They even started a family. 他們還創造了一個家庭
- Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? -誰是乖寶寶，誰是乖寶寶？ - Who's the baby? -誰是乖寶寶？
- Who's the good boy? Who's a good boy? -誰是乖小孩，誰是乖小孩 - Who's the cutie? -誰最可愛
Yes, you are a handsome boy. 沒錯，你真是個帥氣的小孩
- Say hi to Grandpa. Come on. -來，跟祖父問好 - Hi, Grandpa. -祖父你好